Episode 101: Bag of Poop (with Mike Schaubach)

Description:

Our wise friend Mike Schaubach joins us to discuss vengeance, marriage, and poop.

This episode is brought to you by HuluPlus.com and MeUndies.com!

hello from a small hotel in Manchester
and I had

will you comes episode at 101

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101 lights on yeah it really does

earlier this hotel again to yes like

Reed Richards which has the budget
option with the two bedroom

the two bed in this place are bumped
it’s a bomb to bed

hotel with a bunk bed with the a twin
bed on top I’ll we have to go do the

Manchester show now but we want to say

I enjoy this episode episode 101 make
shock is on it

of we love on you guys will tune in
please enjoy and don’t worry things got

extraordinarily real

and we started the 2nd century it up
asserts and if I really alright %um

hit the smarTrend

like she came to me here you weave putu

any are not my you has tagged here on
her

childish gata liked it but cute

very I S but did you like that you later

to headset tell me how it works I guess
I’m somebody record in New

intro every episode makes out like
ladies and gentlemen I ideally with the

every and you thought it was a lesson in
the email saying I’m your hugest fan

would love love love to be honest you
know it would be a dream come the area

everything okay I don’t call it a look
at it up is

a scrubbing through every third the
period

you at seven-speed you didn’t hear any

no I like bug-eyed again I gotta
trampoline

think I mean what do you think they are
now they must do your way we start and

then every themes are every observer the
new

original theme song written by our fans
that’s crazy that one was like that was

really good I do they come in it’s like
surprise you

yes oh yeah are amazing yeah than was
down was like our first one it’s like a

it was by Rosen Ryan by the way I so
love getting some credit but I

things rosanna and those are some yeah
China good Craigy that’s what they call

that a Craigy

whether that female singer sings like
that it’s kinda like that bluesy

bluegrass while you’re busy or Mike

let’s just explain makers a coworker
friend a confidante a lover you’re the

shit

what’s your job president and president
love

post production dept so whenever we
added a great whenever is that true

no ice director past director
post-production you deserve to be

president have ever had the family’s
post but thank you very much appreciate

that so whenever we added our videos

makes our guy he’s our buses are editing
by my holdings crosna

yeah everything that is present in the
world Yahoo tonight

voices coming from the perfect base for
that utilize yeah and your personality

can only have been like even if your ass
all they could not last for long because

you lookin you sound like

an angel yes you’re you’re an angel to
us

period oh i’d more minutes I

and your thing your first guess with a
child yeah

really the first one yeah right yeah I
was jus was just like

nurse trader skaters got a daughter did
yet somewhere

why they say that I yes three my
daughter you miss your Linux

you must if he was here lotta signs like
that

yeah it’s a lotta kids it’s a lotta kids
things going on in my life right now

lotta

I a lot of kids shows in a lot of kids
songs and you start to like it in the

beginning you get bored

ray I but then you start to like listen
and then when I got one comes on like

ranking up in the car and then suddenly
cranking out when your kids not in the

car

during I yeah I know the CDs in there
sometimes and i got really hot I wanna

hear that one yeah

like well as an example I the other two
your headline I can sink some stuff for

you guys out here on Sun

%ah but but but before saying I was safe
for the kids shows

I I started this new game with Blue’s
Clues cuz Blues Clues is still on but

its alright sleep they’re not making up
the serbs

and doing this thing where am trying to
figure out how to like make it into a

community thing but

how quickly I can solve the clue

over to grace are you get three so
there’s three clue is the third one like

that for little kids left by the time
that happened it was likely it yet

I’m fucking nailing it due to too I
swear to God I get most the bomb one is

really hard to

to was like okay most people get to some
bike really trying to practice with an

example that leg you’ll ruin the show
for what

like what well Jack I actually it’s a
long will you have no yeah here but

I pretty much know what’s going on
regular I tried it today rather

no catwalk and now the other thing I
noticed you like Rebecca now we’re not

saying

the answers to things like that Blues
Clues ass you and so we’re kinda holding

back when I realize is like

jack doesn’t know he needs to like yell
at the TV they’re asking DRTV

so now I yell at the TV %uh but it
sounds like I’m like

trumping a two year old but that’s a bad
lesson TL it that’s not what you want

the best that they had that letter A not
yet the interactive show they got a

killer yours blew it yeah I mean

we’re turning them into little
psychopaths to you back to the study on

know he just calls it out button you
call it out after me like I’m here

a green you with a green I also and that
and now he’s joining

his cheek asking how to cheer but now
now he’s starting to do it

so yeah please close it in in one clue
that might that’s my next challenge

thats that years old with an example one
app okay so the Blues birthday

right April 19 and Joe had to you figure
out what blue wanted for her birthday

K case else I should huh I’m like
freaking out

this clue is a shirt sorry green

that that green money Apple other green
apple and money it’s an apple

K second clue

and empty aquarium well interests day

algae anything now wait no you’re
accusing

I gotta I’ll definitely get it an empty
say that the second clue is an empty a

query at many draws an Enzo book

an empty aquarium your empty empty

thats dark and to the point where its
way up with Steve like at this bar with

his agenda now

yeah it’s its its leaves Joe is for
school children wanna go bald on TV so

he quit

but you learn all about that kinda stuff
here and

the behind-the-scenes yeah you wanna
know what happened

nobody said he did drugs if you just
want to go work and music

okay green empty acquiring did you get
it at this point

now this was this was this is the one
that I was like I’ll text wait a minute

I need to be able to get these until
yeah ridiculous

green tank you want to join the army

K interesting I have no idea okay not

third clue was

I a footprint this is what brought it
all together was a

as a web foot as its flippers are scuba
diver something webbed

what green empty aquarium and no web dev

what and Jackson was the button get this
you wanna for right

you’re close a lizard close as Paul

keep going a.m. and either at the VA 25
minutes

yes a green MP BN k what’s green

snakes would be in an empty aquarium

and empty a great when have water in it

because the water isn’t needed to keep
this lizard

I gotta get go gift this one would need
water in it

up not turn up turn

did your together know it and I it said
Ron 9:30 but the underdog my empty

aquarium

because you keno that the truth a little
bit a water

yet any little water but but the clue
was the query on it’s a tour area on

actually only ever to an empty aquarian
that’s that’s misleading it’s false I

like their pen a complaint terrarium you
should have gotten a call that on the

show maybe they pick all that that I’m
not sure

anyway they went to the pet store and
look at it or whatever doggone to turn

on now

I thank God I thanks everybody hope

this is not an air I what else to say
real quick before we get started that

UN jacker the first father-son duo to
appear on our web series

oh that the editor and I ok so fine to
coarse Mike’s been our web series yeah

you play that was your name I my name is
Mike yeah and then bro everybody that

wants to see that the nice guy in the
world looks like the air

has really land and then tell me his
face which is apparently what everybody

hit when everybody dead now

you leave what was the episode the
rather than a call to us

and Mike Anna Meares won among those for
eight years ago for part or Jake

leaves the California new job or
something like and what was the name of

the other character

Amy make a name no was an Amy and the
girl

yeah yeah Amy yeah but what was your
character name I’ll

it was called Mike n was the Rebecca
that was 10

Nyland I would remember that I act is
there a better way

but Jack is the baby and baby BR /3

he’s reviewing we should have them back
every year oh my gosh

might not balding like that seven-up
documentary money

I’ll city now the show works you know as
says

avonex lend it to you even though you do
no idea it’s an advice podcast yet

people try to send mails

you know 190 all day just like jeopardy
if I were you

yeah I worded that we answer everything
in the form of a question

I money for this is so great because I
think I i’ve listened to a few of them

admittedly cannot not all 100 or how
many are you married but I’ve listened

to a few

I think sometimes you guys are reckless
and be honest with you that’s good we

got it so you know I’m leaving little
sincerity

that goes on said that I bother yeah my
dad I have a responsibility

a was a unique episode because mike is
the person I would go to for advice

right I was ever in one of the city’s
leads that that are listeners by the

Justice weeks are gone straight to the
bus

there that way I can not wait to hear
what is troubling

your beautiful and wonderful listeners
well we need

I you should have a pocket like the
questions that are

they’ve we are like cancer on our
podcast that they’re too fucked up for

two darker I

not stupid enough damage than you have
any idea that we should send you an you

give like yes the press is a

we’re like it we’re like a colander and
we’ll at all like the interesting stuff

all down yes I think we should just be
there underneath us to catch it catch

all yeah

makes written a so these are people who
emailed us

it a fiery show at gmail dot com I don’t
wanna give ’em

get out their real names some minute
given big names that preserve the

anonymity

is not nice yeah.so can you as our guest
on this program

come up with a fake name for this lady
who wrote an email as a woman

can be anything yeah I’m a while you lay
ahead

yeah Starbright moonshine thats

and I was awful I think a we can use
that over there that’s good garbage it’s

really fun to see where people’s a

mines go you come up with your own a
perverse and i got really dizzy it is

always love you don’t fully understand
our great moonshine everywhere

beautiful its he really is like a
personality test from herbs were

went straight to maybe people up to rock
yeah for a sec magma rock

I ben then is on the Shoney’s like
cruised

and Stier slept like be illegal if they
like and then we’ll a visitar a yeah

are on the hippie names not good
analysts don’t let us felt anything like

very much dick

so Star break moonshine rights hey guys
so I recently went on a date with a

tender person we hung out with his
roommates play drinking games went out

later and i ended up staying over slash
having sex with them which I thought was

fun because we got along really well

but the next day after I left his house
I didn’t hear from him at all

after waiting a whole day to see if he
would text I sent a casual follow-up

saying I had a good time

pretty standard and he replied saying he
had a good time too and that we should

try and hang out sometime I responded
with a joke and he didn’t respond

I was pretty upset the whole week that
he dismissed me so quickly because

even if it was casual I felt pretty used
and disrespected when he didn’t

even bother talking to me unsurprisingly
the next time I heard from him was a

week later Friday night at 2am in a text
that said hey

name words Dec hey Starbright

what a dick right so I know I don’t have
much reason to be upset at him or to

column out for being a dick because

that would get me know where and
probably wouldn’t teach him a lesson as

much as

that is my goal what I really really
want to do is wait a month until he

forgets about me

and use this poop sending website to
send a bag of poop to his doorstep

it’s pretty cheap they could send a
quarter a poop for 24 bucks or less

I think it’s the right amount over
avenge given the pettiness have my anger

and the nature of the crime

is it going to farmers should I do it
think Starbright moonshine

when a great question Tina but a great
hitter question tender for me cuz I’ve

been I’ve been married since I was

has before Facebook oh yeah I got
married in 2010

yeah so I missed I’ll and i’d the I made
my has cuz we heard so not only did I

miss like the

the the web dating thing yeah I messed
like

dating yeah you know that an idea that
has been meeting with

pointless real crushing agents a mess I
did and they didn’t have the experience

you never had candy because you sat down
at a fucking 12 course nice that’s

exactly right

and then you blow your fucking brains
out and now can jack

League have your head you at the turkey
UAE

so I find tinder to be very intriguing
what do you know about it as a father

who is

doesn’t I know everything cool I noticed
in your to put it on my side

Jake Hurwitz project I about to not be
everything and

Jeff Rosenberg I the

heading into rat you out that I am a big
advocate

have you seen people use it yes have a
night like this before people

p you people at the firm and men and
women have handed be there france

to at two let me sway people in
relationships

love swiping for single friends yes they
loved it has its

it is safe way to live vicariously
through yeah

someone else I now I especially like
doing it for

women because I I can see through the
guys portion I think that that’s what

this

email is all about is like the bullshit

that people put up with both men and
women when it comes to tender because

the immediacy a tender lends itself to

one-night stands and because because
basically that’s what happened there one

night stand

and now is filling up with a booty call
yeah and which for him is completely

normal kazakh hey we baby we met on
tender would you expect

so how should we attack this problem has
I its its two facets right the first one

is

Capulet we’re not even gonna be on the
code is filled with highlight-reel

presently

everything he says is right so in a
clearly she has an issue with

the one night stand and she felt like
there was something more there in

and he was giving the messages back that
it was in more than just a one night

stand

then there’s the question of sending the
poop

right so should we first talked about
maybe some other issues that she’s

having

on a and maybe an hour on a global level
with with many relationships should

always go right to the moving to say

if I were you I would rather a blessed
but the global one for CIA well zoom out

a little bit get the AAA outlets

the yeah okay so hit my opinion on it is

if you’re using tender you can’t go into
the situation thing you’re gonna marry

that person

ever right if you think that you need to
duly tender from your phone right now

right especially if you’re a woman
because

almost all the guys I know that use
tender use it for hookups

right right cell know your enemy right
right the cards are stacked

yeah we’re hot guys are gonna go hi just
had

18 beers time to find a way I

yeah god I’m so fucking 5l I can go
merits and I really can

is that girl I did I get you to write
this beer goggles at my wedding day

i feel like i just want to get married
or so the bet Peru I did hit a grand

bargain are ready to meet my fbook

yeah with someone that pretty good
challenge is needed shit

letter at the very least let me swipe on
tender look for someone who like connect

with me on a fucking every other level
other than physical

so this guy found this girl and they’ve
they hooked up and then she’s like you

all summer days

what we’re saying is that that is to be
expected

shallow meaningless yes and that’s not
saying that like

the its guys versus girls and tenderness
just like

this is what the playing field yeses its
only shallow her cunt

if you guys like having sex and if you
connect then that’s great and can

continue dating and who knows maybe get
married

that’s a bonus yeah bonus rate but we’re
starting from like

less than zero everybody should go into
it with no expectations right that

you’re going to meet a troll

and fuck them yep and then never talk to
me yeah that it

which is what happened not the tree that
role but she met someone in a bomb

threat but just like the yummy to me
that

not really gonna blow you away so does
this guy deserves group

and should she send them poop well wait
there’s one more thing about the girl

so I think I think compound it on this
issue is that maybe she is

arm not as sexually experienced

as the guy maybe she hasn’t had sex with
as many men

which made this more special for her
because sex is like how many top sex is

like a hundred and the more times you
had you give it

the less every single one of them is
rare earth I don’t believe that

at all but okay I

everywhere now cuz this point are at new
england is key because any make a larger

point

I just don’t yeah I get my viewpoint as
layer okay so wishes you

this is where you don’t exaggerate their
central what dissect diminish the Mart

partners you have

yet sex with a hundred women is a one
track 1 I’ve only had sex with one

person

and now yeah it’s ok xactly rate was I
can’t answer that question that’s best

Mike Geary and

Jake you’re telling me that it’s not
true so I have to say you are the

professional I’m a situation where you
guys represent a good side as a waitress

colleges there love you

and where Edward I figured the best up

but I was like this is just this is my
experience where I haven’t had sex with

just one person

and I think that I’m capable of loving
just as much as if I had them with less

people

sure so you’re saying in this situation
then it was probably not that great for

the guy

well I guess I just and that’s why he
was sort of hands off with her

my theory is that the film I whether he
would have been here to text her right

back

I just think it’s always easier for guys
to had sex and be like

that was one thing to happen I wanna
have sex with somebody else

and for women I think more often bill
have sex

and we’ll have a good time in a good
experience and say I would like to do

that with that person again

the emotional conflict guy is there were
more into Lake

quantity than quality yet like 0 that
was good with that person

what if its good with another person
yeah there’s not as much return

and I think the problem is that she took
that to peel

used when she had 18 then within 2 to
use 10

citizen it’s a two-way street she can I
think she could look into her soul and

be like

you know what that mean a lot to me
either whatever fuck this guy

but it did mean a lot to her it’d mean a
lot to our she thinks she values because

he was supportive

I he did isn’t a good dickey’s like

not being communicative after when an
asshole and even I would you

yeah you know you do you’ve done that
before you’d like slept with someone and

then like you given him a little new

like he said fade away yeah but that
this this there was a very hard for it

it however there was anyone text he
didn’t send a single tear he did he

respond to the first US then she made a
joke

doesn’t then she he didn’t send the
courtesy tax which he should have

the always and the courtesy Dexia you
always do regardless of how well same

here the next day how is your

next day same day when it’s just want to
chat all day like this girl wanted to

then I would faded away then I would be
like oh this is slower and slower

response and then with your body called
heard that next week in a2 a.m.

I I don’t know I don’t I never really
said those booty call tax

I with I would try line stuff up way
earlier than Mike

the desperate late at night O’Shea it
nobody’s like

the thing the other guys about booty
call is like air sometimes it works but

nobody’s but you at 2am

like it so clear to see through that

interesting I think like you have today
alright it’s Saturday afternoon I know I

won’t have sex tonight

here’s like the things I’m gonna do or
I’m a commit to going to a bar in trying

to meet somebody new

but you can’t go to a bar try to meet
someone new failed and text somebody the

fuck two weeks ago

for a an and be like hey how’s it going
ike who the

what are you doing yes but what if you
had what appeared what if you’re really

horny and you have a boner

then you could write yeah but they’re
not I think US’s

nuclei with his I was going to be later
yeah

no category over here people how I’m
here with people house I wanna say what

you’re saying take into

I think my opinion and agility rises and
yet they really do if she said said

everybody just yet

get in line here I if she should send
the poop

I think sending poop is funny I think
it’s better I’m sample too I think poop

is funny

Amir you’re in my movie called group and
i really appreciate that and

that’s why such as those questions is
great I

I think that the best thing she can do
is move on from this guy

says that though the the real way to get
him

is completely forget about him yet don’t
waste any how much money the g20 or much

for a course we think this is Louis
already because you’re gonna order that

poop wonder when it’s coming

pun intended on shitload here the
official

much-loved you’re good all right but you
get the pun not intended

but you’re gonna like you’re gonna
stressing keep this guy in your life

because you to track the shipment

your no wonder like what he thought when
he opened it then you wanna know if he

knew who said that user click yet leary
about this guy we have to get ink about

it as a currency what have I already
spent on this guy

again im I’ve given him my vagina and a
week’s worth of worrying

I’m also gonna drop twenty four dollars
on him what condition is this

this website work as a human I don’t
think it’s

I think it’s food safe pro P I think its
IT how he

night on a I recants if they’ve I

notable it is edible I’m sure comes from
Russia I’m sure it’s not legal

I and the 100th and human shit

and that you can save money by just
dropping off a bag a shit this goes

toward a can be your shit

white let’s cut out the middleman with
israel believes I about it is that your

money and shit on his doors they hooked
up to his place so she knows his address

at it yes it is it really she should
just Ockham

in tel & tel e Mary’s if you have a pic
I needs to be scratched

like what is it like if she needs to get
a matter at its head and just want to do

something like

a his car yeah just light something
mildly aggressive just so you like

she knows that he is like annoyed and
others gonna fun

i like it a nice casual a a heads up
annoyed

how cousin a given the amount and
imagine getting a back in HR

and being excited about the package
because we’re all excited about packages

ray and you open up the package your
this guy right

you this guy yeah no idea this girls
like

number 364 on your to do list now

right you pry don’t even remember
texting her you were so wasted

this shit shows up what do you think

she is even on else it’s anonymous is
that the rights as any go

all that girl now yep and you know what
I deserve that

a flat now he’s gonna go once is gusting
unethical to remind her that she wants

ruin his day

that’s what you want I C but I think
that I actually think that

the poop showing up on your doorstep is
a funnier story that doesn’t ruin his

day

it makes you laugh India laugh he’ll
kill me conversation piece

who keep it around and will use it to
hook up with somebody else yeah i think

is that what I’m

run its course on this guy cuz I he’s
not real hook up with people forever

like there’s gonna be some go the breaks
his heart

the lead at the Karma’s real yeah I mean
if the billion-dollar Canada she just

responded like fuck off and then he’ll
now

or what about say al come over and she
never comes over that’s funny

through yeah you could leave me like
that but I really think living well is

the best revenge

and if not than a bag of poop 30

and that’s the tagline for the website a
bag approve is the second best revenge I

a pen you’re not living well I

not because you’re on approach shipping
website with you really trying to our

people

II site and that was good I think
retention life now is get a rush now

yeah Bremen shank baby hey guys

open in another guy’s name this is

I am Edward horse saddle

know where the Western Donna

I don’t know where I want my bad guys
got so one day I was ours on Westheimer

had ten years ago

down comforters sand on your shoulder
right now but you’re just emerge from a

real dream

I ready Edward rights hey guys so my
girlfriend of six months or so broke up

with me recently

its almost her birthday in before she
finished with me I got her a fifty-pound

iTunes voucher

and a lot the Yankee Candles I’m
wondering if I should give her the gift

or be a total diva and sell its last
keep it for myself

PS lost the receipt so I can’t take it
back

What’s Up love Edward horse saddle
whether I tell ya tell your story side

i’d I dated I dated my wife Inc in high
school on them

she was a year younger than me and I was
a senior and I was like okay well I’m

going on to college

I gotta get ready this high school check
so I’m ready for college women

and side dumpster and it was like three
days before my birthday

July 22nd July yeah three days for
twenty I 24th

something like that I’m an asshole K
adapter

and she had purchased all his birthday
present for me she brought everything on

the back

way to your to she would run back to the
store good for her

so I experienced this and she did that
stench he brings that up to this day she

keeps reminding me on those fun things
that she and a member when I was

wasn’t a call was about that i think is
cuz you keep on

yet what is the united you can give it
to her that’s weird he’s gonna come off

creepy

yeah II don’t give it to her it’s clear
to me that what is a lot of the Yankee

Candles and just pandemonium as
mentioned that not a good gift

I

I hear a lot by Kenya yeah the worst
good good for her she really dodged a

bullet

she I gave her the most generic gift you
can give someone a fifty-pound iTunes

voucher

which means you know nothing about her
nothing here’s the media /url I can help

dollars worth shit you can download for
free

and Nikki can lead a US ship the goods
that take up stored on your computer

that you don’t on an eleven candles

since have been nuts is I’m sorry but
this guy blaster

gift shopping but yeah did not lead us
into candles I mean I can now within two

handles is a candle so much that they
want a lot for making I can t like how I

like candles and there’s like a

one said that I it’s out Italian like
battery

the ATP Elliott and that he likes the
candles he was hoping there’s a big item

Tyrese Gibson

its own thing also I wouldn’t be a diva
doubleday

but I doubt that I’ll let all the panel
that one plate is not gonna see right

there is a loss there is no its

its it doesn’t hurt because for
something else yep

I guess I gotta keep ’em skied house
burned down at the Kent

it smells amazing I logo to the flyer
but they’re like cash

yet that watermelon vanilla bean
pomegranate

so put it out you rule charred corpse
nostrils

a so can keep it

keep it that’s easy I mean the ADA he
does wanna be creeped is a creepy

interest to many candles to give
somebody

that broke out even even when you’re in
a relationship that’s too many

it seems we the best thing you can do in
some breaks up with you is pretend

like you don’t care into you don’t yeah
so if you still give them a gift

just it’s a week that’s right you’re
showing weakness

especially if she broke up with him yeah
and it’s like I’m not over you

yet the girl but I gave you $60 million
dollars

yeah snack yeah yeah or whether he can
either

expensive than others the availability
thank you dropped a hundred pounds on

her

yeah I underpowered and using them added
we have a lot of through the lens

anyways a western cousins goes from

England although in Edward horse at all
sounds like

Athens be I get home Weston name I am

Anna saving a life shali yeah whether or
not they realize now

we’re saving lives way baby I am

iraq who another girl at

Christie housefly

I I group love

the playa I a guy so I met a guy on
tender

things are going well and we moved it to
taxed then after we agreed to meet in

person he tells me he has a podcast

obviously I had to investigate and my
verdict is

its socks I hate his voice and the
content is a boring

I don’t mean his voice like his style of
comedy but like the actual quality of

his voice

irritates me should I still go out with
him 10

yeah and I’ll why I

unit he ms. he has a so handsome you can
just tell not to speak

okay well you know the question goes on
the TV this gives us more details

we got along pretty well before I
discovered his amateur hour podcast

maybe it’s not fair to judge him solely
on this one thing on the other hand it

is just a candid pop culture commentary
podcasts I feel like it’s probably a

good indicator who years in person

but I’ll go out with him how do I tell
mom no longer interested without telling

his podcast sucks

alright can you can you love someone
who’s podcast you hate

let me try it let me try to take this
I’m in a I’m gonna be the first answer

virginia’s cuz I think Ill Bill the tell
me if I’m ready to rock a good night

yeah as so one I will say

I believe that in the beginning a
relationship

she should feel smitten and adore
everything that he does

if she is like immediately your it aided
by his voice

that’s already not a good sign the
animal inside your body is telling you

that you’re not compatible you’re not
attracted to this guy second thing

I will just sayin defensive his podcast

that it is just starting out that’s okay
he might get better he might find his

stride and his podcast might become

better I think it’s cool that is like
taking artistic risk

thirdly if you’re not feeling him you
can break up with them

just for the sake a breaking up with
them you don’t have to say it because I

wasn’t your part yet but she is she just

she agree to me with them and then she
is gonna change your mind on a dime and

not explain

yeah yet its tender you can do that

absolutely the other way to think about
it is already done

I yet I’m that was my three-pronged the
other way to think about is added to his

and the details which one of us was
right okay good I like that what can you

lose

in going out with him at at worst you
waste a night

but you there validate year doubts

at best he turns your opinion around

and you got and more day to maybe get
married so the worst is where you are

dr.

and there’s only upside it’s just one
day

a night the big thing to waste that’s
all humidors & outlet nnnnnn ad bag

agree but

because Jay had the last word and I
think I’ve been at the last night and

I’ll

I don’t wanna find british children
really on either day and I don’t think I

really complimented his van so don’t
even go there and i think is very

naughty as that is online he has a lot
to develop and of course I I know we

talked to exercise we talk work out he
went from a size 34

size yeah I love you if you have you
absolutely have to have a last word

I don’t have a laggard isn’t enough that
I don’t and I go ahead

I gave her your a night is not a huge
deal to waste if the potential is

finding a future mate

alright okay now that and I’ll and now a
pic

ok as I think about the both bring up a
valid argument and I do believe that the

more valid Yahoo would hang it up has a
lot to do with that I’d be shocked if he

chose de que has hecho

and her value system heartbroken to I

she definitely doesn’t have to tell his
podcast has been a matter what she does

one thing of course and I i would

I’d even bring that up it’s not about an
issue at a night is Justin I and

in she’s the girl said she’s going to
get a meal outta this female

right yeah gonna get me on maybe some
drinks so

so her last year somebody who has come
as you are the players that fun

yeah marriages a him

everything is choose me officially
because as the right now I just feel

like i rly night sorry I’m the first
many guest let me just let me try to

intertwine a marriage

at this age like marriage advice into
this okay

marriage is a long road

thats there’s lotsa wonderful things

that happen in a marriage in their great
but marriages are also very hard for

compromise

and at the end of the day everything
cute everything

that you guys did when you were dating
is completely stripped away and you are

just literally standing in front of each
other

bare-bones you’re seeing the real human
bike

you can be ass I’ve been married for 12
years you can’t be asked for 12 years

rebecca has seen the worst in me I so if
she’s already

like finding his voice in knowing

n can happen because like or she’s
already there

she kisses are you this is what I said I
know it may be regarded as his podcast

in turn that around

but she can’t change the tone in his
voice

which is that which is the thing that
she’s finding most annoying about him

to it that way he speaks which is how
people in a relationship communicate

and with new pictures course I

but it’s just a night can you guys made
this hard on me

let up I am I think you actually have a
hard on me I will say this:

I okay I’m gonna I’m gonna go for it
I’ll say I’m ears right

bullshit our site I said like I

because the night is tonight is going to
get a free me are and

and sometimes people do podcast they put
on a voice so maybe that’s his podcast

Voice

its even if it’s a one percent chance
it’s worth that risk

what all she didn’t say yes to life
commit somebody know I just think you

should look into your heart

and after diana maker I

I really think it is a look at your
heart think back on all the times you

trusted your gut and how many times you
are right and I think you’ll find

if you mean all morning I understand the
time over sky

almost here got an almost I think mean
make might have convinced deal would you

change your mind right now

it is worth one night premium female

cocktail know and that is the big day
now it’s not I don’t I just it’s two

hours

it’s not even all night I don’t think I
entirely understand their

relationship I don’t they had already
met and then she listen to the podcast

now they just talk to Chad over tender
before they met she heard the pool I

can’t wait to hear about this day I hope
she goes on

I follow up what I call her assasin
creed Chris house line

house by please please follow up with an
email and I also love the day decide

got on the day let us know I was you can
go out that’s an incentive to go on with

it would be like all and then talk about
ways that was a TV show the SME on

whether you gonna date

and then they all voted I’ll eighties
the love connection a connection

yeah like that and come back after the
Dane tells about it said he gonna date

let us know email us and will cut I’ll
have you call and we can talk

this is so exciting we can chat maybe
Michael come back I’ll will interview

what a joy I I let’s take a break keep
you

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and a half what’s a let’s get back to
the break let’s get back to this episode

let’s get back to make shuttle back

a let’s talk about more about marriage
since the

we never had

had someone with such experience a

you know in wedding in wedded and wedded
bliss

yeah not only are you married but you
are a an your he

your home what is it called year and I

your arm okay hold on I gotta your
faithful whole

no Vera what is it when you can marry
people

ordained aboard and yeah and married to
a I’ve

married to couples three couples 3

one divorced but some bad I first was
the below the national average or below

the national average

and then I married my cousin my cousin
and his wife by a kite other videos me

my cousins and I was fine

yeah and then I i managers Marion made
my best friend here and

in a just up on the hill actually at the
Japanese restaurant so

tell me if you think this is true I
don’t know I’ve never been married but

would you say this is accurate

when you first meet someone you’re on
your best behavior yes

that’s the best version of yourself best
you’re like ballpark and never loved a

I’m trying to project this is the a
hundred percent the best person I can

guess

and you keep that going for as long as
possible yes after a certain amount of

years

but you know you start farting in front
of the air person while I’m at Studio

I it’s days you start doing the other
thing that you’ve been hiding doing

behind the back at the Anderson and then
with then

I don’t know X amount of years how long
does it take for you to be

like you are when you’re single in front
of her ok got

bike just to you the real you yeah the
real you

well i mean i i for me I

she saw that before we leave americans
we dated for five years before we mean

are you can keep up the rules for that
long I think and I mean it’s impossible

on the only with your turn into a crazy
person I think your time and at two

different things things like that

they’re disgusting like picking your
nose and farting untied unless I like

you but then

but then like the real a shit is like oh
I told you that I had a

bed I like was attracted to a girl who

had a career a but I’m actually
attracted to you

know how to raise there is bike yeah I’d
like

their lives that’s like that’s like 0 I

our relationship is fundamentally flawed
now but then the other things like

okay I don’t mind watching you pick your
butt that’s or like at first in the

relationship

you love like you’ll where do you wanna
go eat what do you wanna do I want to do

everything for you and that’s where I
want to sell my stuff on it here or stop

yeah

the and that’s like the classic lol well
you never do anything nice for many more

things statistically they say that

the honeymoon’s over after three years
for marriage most marriages and

that weren’t then are not gonna make it
after three years and that’s it and I

were to marry I’m in areas

so like when you’re making your decision
you’re basing it on like two percent

samples guys yep cuz the next fifty
years are

every just who you wanna I know what’s
the most important thing but you also

get

I think you also transform for the
person to like there are things that

they don’t like about you that it in
order to stay with them

you change in your cell so you do in a
way

become a better person because you
become a married person in america

percent shares everything

right you don’t do that when you’re
single I’m but yeah like the gross stuff

that happened for me like very quickly
we’re in high school some in my queen

take part in from each other and stuff
like that be I like

big-time stop after three years
definitely

I mean I’m 12 years in now I keep

I don’t know I can’t think of anything
she hasn’t seen or heard outta me

you now you’re not hiding anything that
nothing what helps that you’re like

a good person through and through mother
actually here now you have no the money

I have bodies stacked in the basement
but thanks i got absolutely nothing to

overwhelm you tell people yeah it’s

by Cantor me yeah I like sleigh smiley
faces another fucking skin

a oh mike got here’s a question

let’s say meet a girl today how long
will have to be with her for her to know

me better than my best friends

that I’ve been friends with for 10-15
all gosh

like this Rebecca know you’ve met more
than any friend you’ve ever had

yeah I think so

selection by the someone now this girl
had on its nose at a table near the

serenity as if she’s very

possessive just a year social know me
more

more than any other my generation
ultimately pray that she does contacts

always so different

Lake you spending time with a in a
relationship you doing things that you

would not be doing

with friends that’s right like

you’re like actively trying to learn and
communicate with friends were sort of

more like passively entertain each other

right relationship you like fucking

rate use each other naked in like crying

rate you do a lot more intimate things
but maybe they don’t know yet exactly

the same context because like

they’re not doing your inside jokes and
things that you like

find important with your friends but
then your friends aren’t

one and I’m fuckin an idiot make the
married what

now here you’re absolutely right you and
you hand

a good marriage you have separate
experiences you have separate friends

and you going off and doing things
separately and then you share those

experiences but you’re not having
everything with them

you know I am

okay so OSA not living together two
years

if you live together in one year that
his guitar and I know you better than

your best friend Wow

she might not it depends on how much you
willing to share too pretty

MIT that story that you know when to
give up course right so that

in that case that’s there’s a tipping
point there’s a one story there’s a1

there’s that one girlfriend %um brought
up yet or whatever that one thing is

the mommy you tell her that band she
noted the best

what about phone voice phone voice

hmm as an example of putting on airs

when you’re in a relationship if someone
calls me a headache

whole hey hey how are you in the AM and
that were lies a mere talking like that

but then by the 12-year market for back
cause your your body cause you

will and same on your end the

no I i have I have a fun with her back
and not because I always like to bring a

positive attitude

to the marriage and I feel like the way
you present yourself the

facial expression in the morning me
maybe when your little hungover or

whatever I do they could pointless to
just kinda come out all grumpy and

bleary-eyed so I’m always trying to be
happy and cheery in positive and even on

the phone

hiney yeah the Sun greatest keep it
going for a pic but her friend as I

really adding

right yeah I was going on Russia but
that it was a

has been at all my friends are Matt
McKay ahora

are at R&R at but he say friendships are
less

PS not fake you just you please make
dislike you doing them a favor because

now at

you know you when you’re in a marriage
you’re sharing your life in your sharing

all the hardships

so there’s enough like Porsche in the
world that attacks on a daily basis

your home is your safe place and make
that the happiest place possible

and when you’re not happy don’t fake it
but like if you’re if you’re neutral

taken up a couple clicks water a smile
on

I complemento skin little kiss on the
cheek but this is

this is my talking to Jackie I

the fucking wasted water as room when is
the weather jacket have a little sister

I really really really that analyzes
data that you got an email from a hand

Katanga and you know if you have another
baby it’s not gonna be another boy rape

is justice yes tically is that right now
I just can’t see Jack having little

brother is going to have a little sister
got absent happy sweetie be the best

older brother and I

Anna makin babies here a little I guess

I wanted the kids so I’m happy about it

I convinced her let’s get this Rebecca
nobody wants kids

I did I did -27 Wow because I’m from the
Midwest to all my friends are having

kids -27 ira it started to really start
to

I talk my clock was ticking while but I
is like but have a kid new

yeah service every single year year and
tell

you for five years how

I’m glad we waited we were married 10
years before we can I highly recommend

that

have a marriage have a marriage now to
be barred especially but I’ll taylor

getting buried so much later now

yeah but yeah pay attention to the clock
but if you have time

he married without children as long as
you possibly can because once you have

kids

him game over yeah because they they
turn you into something different

you’re no longer you no longer there you
single married Caroline

right now we’re like just make it became
a house they are

gap and the end and was also nice to as
you know a lot worse has happened after

the kid goes to college because

I in those cases sometimes I’m not going
to do a blanket statement but

people have the kid right away and so
they’ve never had their mommy daddy time

and so when the kids gone with it
realizes they built entire major on the

kid

and the kids gone their reason for being
married is gone

so what’s great about having America for
the kid is that when the kid leaves

his fall back into the marriage you had
before you had a kid

is that why people are model kit conseco
your you have a tear in eye I miss

having a baby at it

see that’s what I’m feeling right now
you I like the jacket is key is growing

up everything on then like

is becoming a big boy Mike I really
missed like holding him and Mike

cradling him and

you now feeding a bottle and I could see
you doing that with Sarah

now would be a little sister’s name dat
yeah

through bags middle name maybe huh now
we actually I have a girl name

picked out now what is it mark Molly I
can tell you’re amala

Molly answered thanks grandmothers in
starlight moonbeam I’m

well yeah updike are in saving a life

let’s do one more before you have to go
okay um and not that you have to go but

we are telling my community I S

a okay you said you’re in a meeting and
you left for like

he said i whole life to run to the bank
then you walked into the hearing

it’s been over 50 minutes

people just waiting for you to eliminate
yeah I actually started a thought yeah

you like you know I can I have keys all
on one second half to go outside and

burp

and then you left yet this nor do I get
that way they’ve been waiting for me

can you give me one more guys name guy’s
name is a

Christopher sunnyside

I hit the road lol

fun a mid mom Kris studies that and he
writes

so I’ve been going steady with this
great girl for about 36 months

it’s all been really great recently she
broke her iPhone

she hatched a plan to go in and joke
flirt with an Apple Genius to try to get

your phone fixed for free

it was just a funny joke at first but
this Apple Store guy put his number in

her phone and followed her on all forms
of social media

because she’s just so nice and she
accepted all the requests

now the texting back and forth all day
it seems he’s twenty something and she’s

17

he’s a home-schooled X heroin addict I’m
not gonna lie he’s not exactly a

horrible looking

I talk to her about it and she said
she’s China just be friendly but it’s

still weird

should I be afraid that my girlfriend is
gonna leave me for this Apple Store guy

or should I just trust that she’s being
nice or is there another option entirely

I would love your advice thanks Chris
sunnyside threesome

Saturday I you finally got her girl was
in a game that I

yet you there’s a stick is you know
after a 3some

you’ll know yeah if you did heroin or
not yeah yeah he’s got that heroin Dec

that’s a range you know city agrees to
have that yeah exactly

it’s tough because you don’t be too
jealous gothic stop texting this guy but

I don’t like

married stop texting this guy is like

there’s only so unattractive about
jealousy and I think there’s always

the danger above him prodding this
relationship

along more than his girlfriend would it
like if he is jealous

than it did to get naked girls hedges
like oh this is sort of like

why is he jealous maybe there is
something here may be right maybe I’m

with like this fucking loser who

get NBS so easily and I should be with
this a

X heroin dealer who really overcame
adversity and a good job

at the other is really good guy yet he
could fix my phone imagine what out what

else he could fix me he did probably one
of the hardest things ever which is

Caroline

yeah I’m not gonna lie is not horrible
yeah I mean to do the guidance motor

she’s she’s flattered because he’s older

rage she’s still in high school
flattered flirty but this is funny

but it is like what he II don’t know if
I think that is like a weird

situation cuz you your it I would say

leave alone don’t do anything but then
what it is just like

behind his back this relationship grows
and fosters a

he gonna be ok I called well this is my
thing would like the middle knuckle that

their

there’s like the meddling thing on like
if your relationship is strong then

nothing can break even a sex heroin
enemies and resident that’s not true

i’d like you relationships can be strong
and then be meddled with

house but didn’t want to the one we’re
on the relationship

can you imagine being in such a great
relationship that there’s a guy out

there that can steal your girl from you

I can as being such a great relationship
that there is but I can imagine being in

one that’s like

comfortable in good and fine and gonna
last

and then some weird little medlar comes
there really is nothing to

a year a look at me look at me and then
like the

people I don’t know I think it’s booked
but like you have

at what do you think about metal again
like a mailing out sent some risky these

guys are taking girls away from me

I ate at brandeis the Renaissance guys
carnival guys this is our back at two

now was either back to my senior in high
school sigh I had some girlfriends

before her

I am but some guy was meddling with
Rachael I hear hey are well

should you get hit on ocean with your
weather there was a you know chichi

probably when say I always said that he
was a meddler but a guy and

in college the he was starting the move
in

move in honour Mikey medlar notice and I
and I had to

you know we had conversations about
attending a crazy I don’t think may she

she could listen to stimulate your crazy
but I don’t think I wise

I just punched a wall you know I think I
think any way you put it this

relationship is probably over because

well the listen he’s a jealous person so

that means he needs to be with somebody
who understands jealousy is maybe just

as jealous as him

or as soon as he’s jealous like shut
down whatever it is making him jealous

that’s the kinda person he needs to be
wet

this guy doesn’t sound as jealous well
he’s just like this my girlfriend okay

so what you’re saying is he’s having
just a normal reaction to reading it on

your local library get some like

Syria’s jealous yes I was the idle on my
girlfriend to go to a party because she

might meet someone

like that little guy that’s crazy yes
it’s okay I think this guy is like

he was down for the control the try to
flirt with the guy to get the

Jennifer and then that that part was a
little weird and at the time when

there’s now it’s

I think I think it’s gone too far I feel
like you’re justified in saying

something

at and she’s justified in

Eyed Peas that say without any
expectation use their look

I thought this was funny not that you
guys were gonna be texting

I’m not cool with this so either you
stop for your

you know this is %ah I’m get I’m not
gonna

is that fair to say yeah for a guy
absolutely

does that make me jealous creeper it
makes him jealous but not a creeper

because this is i thought id

I would react the same way and I don’t
think that I’m a creeper maybe I’ma

I think you’ll have never comes when
like it he goes up there is like

you have to stop texting this guy I
won’t stand for it right

yes did you like it just be honest with
what liked

you don’t have to be fake strong when
you say it why does go back

this is making me really upset it’s
making me uncomfortable to make me feel

insecure I don’t like the way it makes
me feel

if your gonna keep doing it then I think
you don’t treat you well

and I don’t think I should be with you
sounds logical agree with that

I is staring at me the hunt no no you’re
gonna drive you as a good looking at the

guy with the podcast Voice

yeah I really think I have the kids I am
i I

what about stealing your phone setting
up a date and then when the

either I like that I am yeah I think
operation or just having them show up

and she’s not there

or what if you like alright if you trust
this guy why do you ask announce the

peaceful day to you and then if he wants
to do on a date

you believe me see his China if I can
bring stuff she knows that he’s trying

is tri-city like Latos she’s the lab
trying to be found that I want to ignore

the guy

but he did he’s aware that he liked it
he fix the phone for free cuz that’s

like

work up on your box right there right
yeah it’s pretty again you to watch

indecent proposal

so like I Woody Harrelson Demi Moore
haha

jamie’s condo James comes in and in
other when the cage one

who was the guy in a anyway you know I
lost the poker

only offered his wife at the poker table
yeah and is that for a million dollars

to sleep here where

Robert Redford and sided ago what
happened well

the huge buzz buzz in love at the end of
it Honeywell yeah she did it got really

got real

our kiss like this left 197 198 and they
took the money and then their marriage

was like

a rack and then I don’t know how that
one ended

I was like to combine that one and I’m
in Vegas

surname unveiled I you put in the time
that began to creep and then he has to

go get jumped or just Parker

Nicolas Cage need he becomes a flight he
can becomes a parish church

they should just combine the movies yet
because rainbow proposal

it has nudity yeah which is awesome yeah
as Gandalf and watching with the Apple

honeymoon in vegas

I even in Vegas has the best endings are
combined those watch that with her and

you see how she feels

Islip honestly like this is a real this
is real

get indecent proposal and watch that
together don’t say anything just be like

I heard

really good movie with the I’m not our
for reso battle with you

and he would you well thank you for all
your books i think is walking to the

Apple store just like pick up an iPad
like so what’s the deal with this

you the Smith its GDP isn’t counting

you text my girlfriend again that’s your
pace

sorry only 499 dollars I does a bear and
I were you I’d are away

be home schooled joking I don’t do
heroin I agree I think like many others

how does he have so much detail on this
guy yet as good as could that a jealousy

effective

this is learning like all the hotties
like I you so jealous that everything

about this deal with disparities like
sees like packing twenties text me a

seventeen year old is an

X heroin addict whole school luv do not
realize

actually fucking hot that it is that
he’s feeling a little I now but I think

guys deadly up black or brown hair and
blue eyes

yeah yeah de tocqueville 5a

yeah 58 that’s a very tall 162 and a
half

you describe yourself you piece a shit
think share

I would I was so nervous any any girl
she what makes our

matter what a I read 23 that it hadn’t
heard you like them I

has fun I think this is good this is
when it we always say that the

these apps let’s get real this was a
really real one appreciate that I would

love to make back

and the mic no I would love it that Mike
a

do it don’t plug anything by any chance
I have nothing able to listen to this

they do

I yeah lawyer movies that those people
who watch again thank you don’t go on

YouTube Search Search Group

actually that the best way to find it is
if you search and and you to poop

Amir Blumenfeld Kazimierz got such a
good presence on UT that’s easiest way

to find it

Amir Blumenfeld poop it was a short film
the joint that you retire and directed

at it was nice not to be in it

I’ll yeah it was a lot of fun to make
and you actually never ended up

what we’ll talk about that we never
ended up paying for me yeah I A

yes said know I did I think it’d you did
not lie for their Anil yes here’s a

couple hundred for now and I said okay
say any 1500

yeah money and then you like I don’t
know if I’ll see has that quite yet

yeah a lot and they had a bit as cover
that is accurate said rain check and

then yeah

yeah and then he said I have a son to
raise the debt have a good fuck yeah

another six hundred dollars are I a ride
to lead the flooded

I the source material and if you guys
have your own questions

that you want us to try to answers
probably without Mike unfortunately

send that to a fire you show at gmail
dot com also be in your own theme song

or thumbnails for the podcast

Sanders over to the opening one was
written by

roseanne Ryan remember that classic kids
Diddy

and this last one was written by Justin

conclaves and he wanted me to pay about
his YouTube channel or his

the us something else called sketch
films for life

so thanks Justin dangerous and Ryan
thanks Mike

thanks yeah and we’ll be back soon their
guys kill yourself in a star

past business tell that if that was you
show me the email statement

posted by Jake and Amir track

the fumes that use jewelry making fun of
you shopping trip

breaking up the couple carnahan looking
to beef up police

they can help you make your feet plot
their flight Street guarantees got you

know how much you like and don’t listen
to them or to try to make them like

choices coming from do your kids

had shared between lassen official with
Catholic this is back up pick in June’s

2012 got it porn star and here’s a cool
nerd

for shelter keep the puppy please it
properly

the shall hashing del

be getting the best

it’s Mike after work for the doctor weir
bloodline where the world’s

longest-running and best-known to buy
show

the capital last year was only available
on your radio he if your station he read

it but now

you can listen to us what when you watch
where you

get every love my radio show is
available as a podcast should medical

question

KL cool people like fifties and get a
big deal strawberries are very past well

rotello the man behind PC he don’t have
to ever miss show because you could

download love light now have podcast 1

podcast old NP dot com

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