Episode 112: TextJake.com


In this episode we discuss our newest business: A website that allows Jake to make text suggestions for you!

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iSuppli’s checking out

and let’s get started very exciting
episode today the

announcement the launch of our newest
venture text checked outcome

but first let’s hear the opening theme

did on things get I’ll ship of course
they did

they got real a wall a2 along

to 3 hand I

%uh my

among women you know


new Anthony

%ah cappella yeah Camilo

Camilo wrote that real Yahoo is an
archipelago jam that he worked on

relentlessly for several consecutive

doesn’t he third that’s what he said he
also wanted to give his boys Shashank

a shout out because he has a breakaway
he called booty in my face

but the I’ll wait what who developed a I
but no one here billion with a

will have to hear it after the show I
guess shanks booed in my place friend

cut above

Camilo the earth acapella Sun the

holy shit

one I don’t wanna do this anymore than

the tell on everything today that
everything recorded after dinner

just a waiver apathy hit me and I think

done entirely recording today

whether a recording being with you at
anything with you

0 so up with the something it somewhere

South at the is neutral and we don’t
care anymore thrived really don’t want

to be with you

your we’re not feeling neutral you’re
feeling negative

I know it a the this is a huge episode

this is a big one yeah 112 yeah this is

we’ve basically been building to this
moment this episode for any

a year a calendar in my calendar year
it’s been since we talked about building

a website

called a texting katha know but that
allows you to make Texas gestures for


out I to her I didn’t even realize that
would hit that refer to your day at a


right thing you’re yeah

and and after year were finally ready to
announce it

that’s happened yeah it’s called real
it’s called texted Jake dot com which is

actually better than texting and yet
texting casanova as long

and monthly yeah it’s hard to say and i
party in Calvin over

right up to Nova text Jake die I’ll Nova

texted Jake that’s all you may also
consider text burt

who texts per yet experts Brisbane and
we were like

expert or is it ext burr yeah tired it’s
hard to say

attacks pronounce so we we settle on
text Jake dot com which is good

like a dunno attacked thanks Jake

boom yeah and you can spell both those
words really easily

yeah cuz therefore letters single
syllable words text

dick account so it exists you can go to
a right now

how does it work people a similar scream

I people I yet the

they tell me you I who the person is the
little contact

yet on me what they’re after yeah and
the screenshots

a summer their previous tax mmm and I’m
and I maker texting Justin

yeah and it actually ill that actually
and we

we had a few more than just just to text
the Jays also like to advertise the

little bit like I don’t as respond with
like the tax

right because we had we’ve been doing it
will look for a couple weeks is like a

beta trial

yes %uh people have been using it so far
and they give me so much

context that I really that I like to
weigh in a little bit

in im you know whatever way I can to

okay so like it’s like a little pep talk
of sorts yeah for instance

a woman rodin last night

and she sent me some screenshots
initially with latex this guy

and you know judging by the contact them
as previous screenshot

I adviser the perfect text message but
then also a lie you know you should dump

his chance writing

for like 30 like border its half advise

a text suggestions yeah but there’s
always a suggestion and now I’m a bit of

a life coach

yet does that make me hero I wouldn’t

of course it doesn’t I with a dozen does

having this website make me

a a martyr no no it does not

a murder someone who dies for cuss I he
would say that I am a martyr

eight years ago I would think they’re
gonna wreck statues in my honer didn’t


they show they don’t they will not girl
or they will they sing songs at me

you’re a for paper for is on you love

songs about me will there’s the songs
and tales

sung about you song about me totally not
the other should be

their world I wouldn’t say that I
shouldn’t be I’ll say they are

euro I would say I’m a murder and I
would say I’m a god

okay a here’s a doubt that I would say
you’re a romantic consultant

I’m a hit you up my yeah I

heads to myself to the Ron cart a

you are good at this so with that may be
in this episode with answer some a text

related questions you can show off your

and then to people what people want
their personal lives flavor they can get

a text

Jake dot com thanks to Gary button for
building that what’s it worth

yeah I was I was always a solid he did
as a good solid

I was the that was really on point yeah
come to work for a year yeah

a house know that tight move by him cuz
we don’t know how to build yeah

the way he works per year yeah for a
joke we said yeah it does

yeah and now it’s available in a two
year and it’s yours

so people have been emailing us a

for a long time to a fire you show a
gmail dot com we get these emails are

people who aren’t sticky situations and

we offer our advice and this is going to
be like a texting slash

tendering fiend episode very to

I am so you wanna you wanna get started
yeah let’s do that

I wanna you come up with the name to the

this is here this is your shit textured
acecomm no problem

year ago okay well so I’ll the teams
will be in anything and I’m you want

her the if the guys name a girl it is a
guy’s name Carson Daly Carson Daly

arrive first introduced me to text

to know the Carson Daly phone for Nokia
they had text and now

he advertised this phone is like this
one I think was one of the first phones


text and that was like their emulate you
can text people and ever being like

why the fuck and a large attended

yeah I’ll call /url go on aim text with
what the original thing was in and week

made phones and then we don’t have to
text anymore

now that my life yeah did I am a
freshman in college and it’s been a

and I I hold dear I’m a freshman in
college and it was a very long distance

relationships I came as

oh my god when you read this i’m having
a stroke sure

two weeks ago my girlfriend a four-month
broke up with me

I’m a freshman in college it was a very
long distance so it came as no surprise

average them a national anger spending a
day running to bathroom stalls to weep

and a brief stint where she begged me to
take a back we finally had a

conversation in a parting on good terms

here’s my shitty idea so I’ve downloaded
tender and I’m flirting with girls in

person just a bit as well

I’m rediscovering that I’m not great at
it before we were together I’d often ask

my ex for advice on picking up girls

she was really good at like she could
work for texting casanova dot com read

text checked out come the other

we’re we’ve got that guy she could she
is a good work for text Jake Duncombe

and she was the best female friend I
ever had so considering I can’t email

you guys every time I need advice

would be a bad idea to ask if she says

to continue getting flirting tips from
my X

failing to seize the cheese wondering if
I should do me

Carson Daly so everyone

I guess not everyone but most people
have someone in our lives that the run

text by or like that are good at
flirting I’ve even run mine by you

sure I mean if it helps to do you like
sign of fun yeah

even Roger Federer has a tennis coach
that the united to Sir Leonard I


hours tennis coach asks Roger protected
by I at the

and Roger and some actually had a few
protection relays

I would really like to to advised are
fat he actually wrote

email for gore on even the civets
one-time yeah

yearly a berth who is too is a XP on

having for the ring back to her he ended
up on it yet I

I so this guy’s texting expert
unfortunately is his ex-girlfriend

yeah and I’m cell

beside the evasive using text to Jake
dot com for all others tell the army is

of course the initiator I

obviously can do that but let’s say a in
general would you use an ex-girlfriend’s

advice to text new girls

course not wall I don’t think she would
even say yes

so like asking her the terrible idea
well what if they ended on such good

terms that they like we’re friends that
we could do this

you’re not their I we’re not friends and
you can’t do that

is are ex-girlfriend off-limits to help
you get new girlfriends

of course yeah could you imagine me know

like a natural like an ex-girlfriend
from like 10 years ago

to help me get a lady right find ten
years ago ten years ago ex-girlfriend

life resets every five to 10 years I
don’t think

any point would an ex-girlfriend mine

be good but at Hocking me up

with new girls you know government here
in such a good over there they

I don’t be getting even is I don’t think
you’re right when you think that

known as the scenario with not so loaded
yeah there’s always the loaded miss a

bit but if it’s been like

two girlfriends three girlfriends and
the first one and it’s been 10 years

and she knows someone and maybe she can
help me get a girl

you don’t think that’s in the realm of
possibilities I mean it’s an extreme

version what this guy that this guy’s
asking for a girl but he broke up with

two weeks ago

to me it’s all loaded the lake she

doing that is so inherently flirting

with you right so if you’re ex
girlfriend at ten years was like oh I

have this new girl I want you to

go on a date with that’s her flirting
with you right that you’re running late

by your is your active in single and

and I’m interested in having said I and
it’s like so close to you and it should

be with this is eric s

yeah I’d it it’s so I mean this girl
probably gonna say no

first of all and second ball to have for
weighing in on your text I don’t think

she’s got your best interest have like
getting late in getting over at heart

well that’s another good she another
good feature text Jake is the fact that

you’re completely random

unbiased source wouldn’t say you’re not
in you’re not you have nothing

emotionally or physically invested in
this thing

you’re like this girl she can’t distance
herself from the situation so much so

that is not like

in at least subconsciously trying to
either sabotage your help you out only

which i text this girl

another cause that funny yeah other
girls a bit yeah and then

be your your your removed you have
nothing to do with these people

I’ll tell you straight up a girl in
phony yeah

I’ll let you know how it is yeah you get
that you can text through like

has a hit on this girl you like don’t
hit on it so that would levy I got that

last night yeah

don’t do is like the yo I’m Liam after
this girl and tender like conversations

on a drying up

and she was just being an asshole to it
yeah I was like

text this girl though of we feel mad

hoochie the media’s you being mean

yeah but don’t take that but I always do
like the tech

cuz I always write the text for what
that person would want

right so that you don’t do want her and
want this to

happen and you shouldn’t text this

right sorta like a genie creating
awareness you guys be allegedly doing it

yeah it’s when the genie

was working for jafar so I will make you
a powerful sorcerer

yeah it man

yeah a server as

this guy’s text jeannie you advise them
not to a

I would advise you to find a new girl

right to help you with this flirtation
because that’s how you met your last

girlfriend have to be how you meet your
next girlfriend

what do you think about it into the old
pot of soup

is that a that a phrase that is now you
know what is old cold soup

yeah I want that new hot searing heat
that through

a our girls good at texting for

guys about girls you know what I mean um
yeah I parted hair done in by the comps

from girls about texting girls and as
always terrible really

wall you know as good as that girl in

she was good yeah I she looked like she
was good at texting guys she wouldn’t be

good at texting girls

I’ll are you better at texting for guys
are for girls

i think i can text for both I think it’s
just different cuz like

sometimes girls will take something me
know a girl would want to hear

even in guys will take something they
know a guy would want to hear

right you have to keep in your head that
like you can always tell people exactly

what they want to hear sometimes it’s

the I’m gonna text you I want to stay
you have to interpret that in your way

the world does that make sense not to me
but I’m glad it does to you

alright because you’re the guy reading
texts it’s not like it in its intangible

I can’t yeah I I really can’t teacher it
that’s the best part it’s a skill that

you can even in part to anybody else
even if they want that’s why I like

football players make a lot of money

because like if you’re like hey how do
you be fast like are you just like pump

your legs really hard yeah

I don’t get tired and if I get hit it
doesn’t hurt that much right

I’m super human yeah for their skills
appalling years is

rating tax that are funny and charming

mmm yes I I get a which one of us is
more talented

Mary Jane Peterson of course the
football what I don’t beat me again

he’s gonna have a kid but if I did well

I know they do have been total shit I
made I may do something about it

a alright so are advised to this guys
don’t ask your ex-girlfriend

a because it’s impossible for her to be
completely unbiased her move from the


ask at least that if not text Jake then
a a friend who’s less involved in the

yeah your local I’d like just work on it
you can get better at flirting in

texting just keep on like

just keep at it you know I’m sayin year
a with that 10,000 hours shit

yeah dude they’ll now glad I wanted you
know it you don’t wanna be relying on

your ex girlfriend for a long time and
that to the immune new girlfriends like

mean you’re so good at texting and so
and then you’ll be like

oh yeah by extolling texted

for me actually most of the time you
were texting my act yeah

love funny you should be a relationship
with her

I know I wish I was I it’s not a good

even if it works are things that a good
foundation for the next to a

relationship don’t think so

and I next question give me another name

this is a a guy okay um

Sam same rights I want to

do you want to be when he’ll contact the
park came up with ample was the first

for these are all like

in my history of texting okay so does
Carson Daly

and in them is your dad them as my dad
because they didn’t have a cell phone so

my dad give me his cell phone on the

a you little shit

from Friday to Sunday I had

a cell phone but i can text people with

so this is very early on

was to be my 15 years old my hands would
like call

that cell phone see you almost been
texting for half your life

yeah I remember my friend call that the
phone during the weekend maybe I would

have picked up

yella I this is a James Bond during the

owner he always brought it on himself
but i’m only having a system where you

guys share a cell phone

and then you would you would pick it up
when his his friends idk on Saturday

this isn’t Sam or on the weekend to

I and I’m just joking obviously

you would never do that you think my dad
my dad already fucking

my dad tried to cheat on a hot bowl I he
struck gold with my mother and that the

in lightning doesn’t strike gold twice

in by maybe you know if you catch my
drift which it should matter that

threatens bassinet anything

he struck gold but lightning doesn’t
strike called twice

you know names than there yeah I just
think like you at now

heey pulled a rabbit out of gas with my
mother and

here that’s not something that you can
that not only a fuck with that not

something you can even do we get here
you can’t duplicate baton

it is funny too lovingly refer to your
mom is an ass rabbit

I love you money a alright Sam

herwitz right hey guys I just started
out on tender and after an hour so I

matched with this beautiful girl

I gave her my number and we texted for
two minutes then no response

we mention getting coffee so I waited
two hours and I told her I was free

still nothing I waited two hours later
and after she had plans

I guess in my excitement of this match I
sent three dreaded tax

then to add I accidentally founder on OK
Cupid and check to see if it was her and

I was

and it was so I messaged her on that
because she sees you visitor profile

anyway what did I do wrong how can I fix

that I seem to forward should I wait a
week and then text her again

call her I’m freaking out and I don’t
wanna lose this done

I’m love Sam caller you got a caller

I if she’d elite messenger three times
as you didn’t respond I fear you’re the

only run OK Cupid engine respond

a call back the calls in order yeah
energy doesn’t answer leave a voicemail

leave another voicemail call again and
then I feel like between

the the number the profile and the OK
Cupid stuff UPS plane delayed her actual


I a show up I show up outside ever house
and then kill yourself tougher

I believe that the path we’re going down

II day to extrapolate too much what I
feel like that’s what’s going down

you do what your you’re running the risk

via you know being

flag for a restraining order I think

yeah you’re being a psychopath you have

you have to not you’re harassing her I’m
sorry it’s hard to say don’t read into

it too much but if someone doesn’t
respond to a single text

is that game over can a girl be
interested in me and I text her and she

doesn’t respond

I feel like its reading so much into it
but its true with the net she get the

text and she decided not to respond

yeah I think you’d if you like if a girl
texted me and I wasn’t interested I

didn’t respond

that’s I fear game over for ever it’s
not for ever

this is how you should’ve played it so
many give you advice that you can’t


me you can follow going forward she
doesn’t respond to one taxed

stop just don’t do anything and then
wait a day or two

and then text her again you disorder
recharge reboot the conversation

act like the last act never even
happened I see what they have to wait

exactly just you’d let it reset ready
let it reset Holland is that reset take

I think a day or two

but you don’t you don’t you don’t

three texts in a row then contacts are
on some you already had our number why

reverted OK Cupid

you’re saying that that that that the
evolution but it’s not but it’s like

this creepy

if those creepy thing we’re like
standing in the foyer

upper house that’s having your number
you’re standing in the foyer

and you goes to another room now waiting
and what you’re supposed to do is just

waiting the foyer

and what he’s instead done is you call
to her

you’re in the point your employer in the
house it’s okay

you call to urge us to respond because
they were louder she didn’t respond when

you start walking around the downstairs
and she’s like

now she’s taking the hiring because you
the notes due

you’re still in the foyer but for some
reason you exited the house

climbed up a trellis and poking through
the attic if the

you’re being a you’re being creepy so
let’s let’s

though what delivered by the police are
coming at this house you you have to


yeah yet Arthur you the house need to
burn down to the ground not serve the

matter someone on tender move it to text

best kit best course of action play it

yeah you have the number and you’re
saying yet

text only one texted back i’m saying you

alright I guess what I’m saying is

where you know I’m glad I said it
already it yet she was in general advice

text my general advice for what tax
thing and yet tender yeah

just be friendly and have fun and make
jokes like

but never sent to erode always way to
respond always respond

two rows fine just like you don’t one in

ask a question have her not respond in
like ask more questions conventions like

oh this guy is like that not taking him
right at the bomb are almost testing


can they take a hint yes they can take
it so I can keep on going because when

I’m done they can take a hint

I you just there it’s a creepy test the

a lady it’s like let me hear what
happens if I don’t respond to this guy

for a couple hours

and you’ve picked you failed yeah doubt
you for you

you told us you were freaking out what
do I do I’m freaking out I

you shouldn’t have freaked out a I like
their logic that he has in its email

which is

the I accidentally found her on OK Cupid
and check to see if it was her and it

was so i message her because she sees
who visits her profile

you accidentally check to see if she’s
on cupid and then when you realize that

she saw it that you saw her profile you
messaged her because she

she would see who visited her

to like in your brain she saw that you
visited you like I had to mess it at

that why God that they did not that yeah

like osha I’m in a profile %uh doesn’t a
just checking to see it with you

we not gone text from gender durable

go get em tiger so are being a little
mean but it’s there hopefully

unnecessary the cold

what is it cold comfort harsh tough lot
of love the air

that’s cold comfort level eg and tough
love cold comfort tough love

and call a direction you know it helps
is a

to have more than one girl yeah good in
all your eggs in one basket writing

about the different tag you’re not
feeling you not you can only have

so much love your pie charts and a few
have a hundred percent

to one girl for one other person one
thing that gets you excited than you you

put too much

emotional stock in it right you wanna
spread it around one goes away that’s

okay still got sixty percent of your
stuff and something else can I make a


Chemical Co people picture sure can I

the man who both podcast tonight getting
usual white

what the pic to fix on and he’s all not
even a careless you on a paper you love


yes on a pink this picture you want it
you know all your eggs in one basket mmm

you know anyone have one paper egg all
something great a

brown farmers market that’s a good at
Farm Fresh a delicious think that’s

gonna you break in your hand you can
hold the yoke

okay that’s here that’s your prize eg

aka then guess what we got some we got
some little eggs I picked up at 7-11 me

you have like a crack taken it on the
ground the other day well we’ve got

we’ve got like

just an eggshell that for whatever
reason you’re saving

for what about Bible my many carton a
bag weighed only is minicard yeah I

don’t you got

you got a Cadbury egg you got a little
he got chocolate egg over there have

been over a that you should overall wins
over a

like elevate you got it you’re a
sociopath you got a lot different eg

so I wanna like the quality this girl I

understand she might be the farm fresh
egg that mighta

that might have been the egg still warm
from that roosters Athol my god well

it was disturbed very onerous shit I

but so you can’t freak you have to like

have these other eggs that you don’t
give a shit about so when the farm fresh

egg comes

comes out you know how to take care that
you know how to hatch that into a

delicious little

chicken or you know how to cook that
into a perfect will

omelet which one is sex um

sex is the omelet sexes will sexes or
dove in joining

a a perfectly poached egg oh yeah
already have low shot really I i ski


keys or effort I’ll just that I do with
the little me

in a hacer handled I’m talking about
talking about your sausage added

and who takes the lead

he I want to make a press up 3.0 it a
little bit as such budget

the gonna literally dropped the thing on
the ground

and it was the one you wanted to eat
more than anything yeah but that’s okay

they’ll be other AGF there are always
other exterior there’s certainly plenty

of the eggs in the three-month

yet don’t you work that whether they
doing there

I’m afraid about to happen that area and
the ocean I’ll caviar

I am alright next question

yes hey guys ocean we need a name

is it a guy or a girl me

eaten and this could be a girl we

will call her Rebecca because that was
the first girl

I texted min Rebecca rights

my problem with texting our smiles animo

I don’t know when and how many I should
use it seems to me

that sometimes a sentence ever llego gap
ago after

it seems to me that a such as a sentence
looks route without any smile since

there’s no voice intonation to help
express the emotions

what do you usually you what do you
usually do

also do you use the old style Colin
parentheses smiles

or D is the new iPhone emerges very
towed out to you guys love Rebecca

I can read a fucking book on emerges

yeah I’m serious and it would be written
in a motor is so hot it with the title

would be

eggplant smiley face handgun and then

the word cool in a square and then the
money flying I

always the money flying away your promo

very as a rule it’s fun its friendly

its its it like a challenge

with some readers like oh a group a good
imo geez yeah like I want to search

through my

emerges in response it actually this is
slightly unrelated

but its it this is unsolicited tender
advice other shit

remember it well let’s look like it away
for free we have a website now your pay


I a this absurdity by text check dot com

continue to %uh the info through
tinder-dry gay ass with it now

the airtight and I try this on you

and it worked and I haven’t tried it a
bunch but I know it would work

you tried it for me your a try to on how
to trade on your own adventure

I wrote all %ah

like all out there a como estar yeah and
she wrote back

in Spanish because everybody likes to
fucking showcase that

you like you say something in Spanish
like oh I can respond in Spanish

and I well yeah there’s no chance I
don’t think there’s any chance the big

noise that totally

okay so great great opening line is a
Spanish Spanish


or a lot just vanish then French I

and that’s it it doesn’t get any other
low layers than that

so as a mod also if you met with
somebody who’s there who the Hispanic


it might be racist yeah but don’t tread
lightly hum

but I just that Ola Como Sta every time

the response and in the emerging where
does that fit in on

arts also emerges is it is similar you
write you rite emerges

it’s what inspires them be back I want
to do that to you I want to make an


yeah I wanna find a silly mood you to
share I it’s good

the so at a good way to Lake flirt

yeah and you can get pretty a clever
with the remote geez I think so

yeah you can like make little read this
is almost

was a rebirth like a a pictograph like
when you said try to top that

but you did a top hat 0 like that like
try to and then a top hat

and it’s like you almost half day saw
that like a puzzle

yet yet kinda fun very fun yeah and down

and I am all I’ll say is

don’t use the semi-colon smiley face

a lot but it is a nice if knife it
adeptly it nice and the week is nice

it’s good to be retro to be throwback I

use it every single line there’s other
way till

did develop her to show your intonation
ray yeah there’s there the bigger

picture how do you like

when the use exclamation point when
these dot dot dot like

these are like little ways to the even
add frosting to the cake or your


just like lot that extra letters you
know people like our

okay period just looks like you might
like hey let’s meet at the bar ethics

okay period red ownership would 6:30 be

yet that sex was okay but no you can’t
just be like

okay period yeah but don’t you write
that society were all too insecure I’m

sorry I’m sorry to stay at the time has

sorry grandfathered is why you have
attacked theft

admitted for if you write the letters oh
and then K and

an exclamation point it I would name
where at it is the same word

okay exclamation point okkk kkkkk
exclamation point I would say

but okay you never need to thank you
we’re taking the BART thanks perfect

period yes

period that ok if the friendly but as a
kid it’s fun what about a half mile E


ugly forget it so you’re you’re you’re
you’re getting revoke eighth

yet okay is dead what about fine schorr

now never if it’s not it with

if it’s okay then it’s perfect yeah
Pittsburgh make

length perfect is not OK okay is not OK
and perfect is perfect

yet or like if you if you would like if
636 is OK

when you want to be some if you want to
be certain that that would be perfect

right seven would be perfect ol always
make it perfect

don’t settle for okay I said he could
have motivated the featured

I would be perfect i’ll settle for okay

but I’m does go back and the stage in
chronic I

lol you not today a

periods are also pretty bad right ending
a sentence in a period yet only period

spread a little final

a little somber little morose I am

want to take a break that we have
nothing to say but to

the to I guess a let people know once
again for joining us

a text Jake dot com is live it’s
available to you

if you want it and we also have a live
podcast coming up

and in Los Angeles number thirty
November 13th

we’ve sold out about how for tickets but
there’s still another half still

available so you will be used to it you
gotta come

grab it while it’s hot it’s always a fun
time and its extra fun when there are

more people there

you want to be cool if we started like a
big with keeping

right because we drink whiskey on the
stage sure

I say everybody in the crowd should have
whiskey as well

I like how the man show everybody with a
big beer mug yeah like busy I was like

everybody in in the audience holding up
with you and I cheers and that’s good

so so everybody order bullet version on
the right

it’s on you Aliyu bill I was really
really had to do with their

obviously we can’t afford to drink for
everybody in the tender know all have


I have one up on the state will be
choosing will be very tote up very tied

together that’s the key

hmm I am don’t have other shows and we
do have one member month

went to middlebury college but it’s
available only to students

but I think if your passion up in you
live in vermont you can find a way yet

it beat

if you are true to your heart and you
know for a fact you really wanna make it

happen I think

for for for us you can make it there

I don’t think there’s ever been somebody
who tried to go to a show like that and


right like sorry students only hit the
road yet cuz it

if that happens if you buy a ticket you
show up in there you have a student ID

then I’ll just come out and put you on
my list and you’ll be fine

yeah what do you mean I put you on your
list others be like this guy’s with me


1 and i sorry can’t comment is a student
I that I can to the show

both Hall right let’s not overreact Amir
can you do the show by yourself

absolutely I think I can what

you hip in the not as a student I just
made this didn’t we go to a bar bullet

urban Harare

at every five years ago II

should be get to our last last question
final one let’s do this

their final thumb being


mmm G yeah

another dude who doesn’t quite know text

um well let’s do

Micah the last guy to text me my brother

I michael rights am

page A N eight long time listener first

emailer I recently got back to contact
with a friend that I had when I was

younger she is beautiful intelligent

and we have an incredible amount in
common personality wise have absolutely

fallen for her

this is where the problem sets n when we
first started talking and we had a lot

to catch up on but now it’s hard to find
something we haven’t previously


we haven’t even had a whole lotta life
experience to talk about needing 19 her

being 20 but since she is currently
studying at a far University were unable

to hang out in person which

in my opinion is where I excel
communicate a plea

so finally my question for you Casanovas
is how can I keep up a texting


with this girl without rehashing all
topics I love checks previous advice as

being the solace over boring day

and if you guys can share similar
tibbetts have information would be

greatly appreciated thanks so much Mike

boom cell

yeah mmm do you get do you to understand

being weird thing okay we’ve cut a
completely week we can no longer

talk about all things we have to come up
with new things to talk about yeah I

understand this moment of panic because

catching up is easy how’s this has this
like oh this is so fun

and then you’re done what’s next but
once you get over this hump

it’s gonna be better it’s going to be
beautiful you gonna do well on the path

live in the now look forward to the
future remember your past

it is what shape to you visit the half
but don’t live there

live in the now law that you either and
recall the past

you can go back we’re losing has nine I
that suck about the past I love the past

the past the past the past how is this
how was this remember when we did this

but now look at them now look into the
now but look beyond

to the future and when you’re in the
future millet back on the now and you’ll


and you won’t even ring

member the past and in the future the
future will be there now

and you’ll be looking forward to the
present and the future

and the pass is what made you of all

I so convoluted

in somebody has to write that down yeah

with the one right down I wanted to be
the four W

does the crazy man’s rambling about the
poor have the book ’em the relative all

emerging yeah

search still called eggplant handgun
smiley face

yes up for it is powered by and say man

a can you her what do you do

this is kinda like the same situation
when you have a lady friend you guys

text all day and you talk at night
you’re like

I’ve told you everything now we have to
talk about things that didn’t just


well this is how you move forward
because I think right now this guy

is with an eight-mile device being the
solid for boring day

you know your place but very cue she’s

of my day with long and boring and i’m
looking to you to make me smile and


yeah now you need to be a pillar of

the whole court so from solace a boring

to pillar of strength yes so she is
going to look for you

not for real not for were a laugh but
for validation

I how is this class it was really hard

I don’t know if I’m good at it no your
teacher is done your smart

you say these things that inspire me and
I can see

the you are a beautiful person and then
she’s like well you are validating to me

when I feel low

I will look to you for strength you’re
my pillar of strength

and I don’t mean in the sense that she’s
we can she needs you

but she will feel emboldened by your

love for her okay it is a beautiful

so at first you your its up it’s a
flirtatious thing you did you get this

you get your text and you see this
person’s them on your phone like gap

that so they let so excited to be she
texted me this purse

are this guy texted me at like seeing
her the phone on the lock screen that’s

like a nice little cheap thrill

I like because it makes me happy and and
laugh there

and you be cut you delve deeper layer
sperm and during an egg

you become not only just like a a added
bonus in her life

but something that she actually almost
borderline needs to hold up

nah she’s looking towards you not just
for the the frosting but the cake itself

yes you need to actually provide her
with some nutrients

I think it as a tree right okay so at
first is a sling is fine it’s

its cue your watering it you might be
like eating some berries of the branches

then have poison is there a temperate a

but is this tree can stand the test the
time only if you nurture it

only only if you allow it to grow by
giving it love and all the things that

it needs

Iowa is there anything to asking like

being the first person to like the

being the one who looks for her to be
here your pillar of strength like maybe

you say to her

hey I have this problem yeah the i mean
whether that’s really the other allies

I think it definitely works both ways
because otherwise you’re just some sort

of like

weird therapist who doesn’t go thru
doesn’t like

opener per share anything its
relationship so you have to tell

you have to be vulnerable to you and see
how she reacts

up the for that the first step in the
texting is like when things get serious

cuz at first it’s so light hearted and
flirty and want to get back

past that stage a wreck hey can I ask
you like can I ask you something

just like saying that you’re just like
00 should get a real like talking I W

shouldn’t really be done over text I
think texting should always be like

pretty flirty and fun yeah but sometimes

you’re gonna need to say things that are
like to get away any real true

yeah but I would never be like in
securing sad over text

know not to be like hey this like you
said this earlier and it really bothered


right this it’s it’s almost get to bring
up other problems

a cask year opinion on something can I
ask is that it’s like oh I value your

mind exactly hey can I value your mind
on this

and then that’s great cuz that let
allows that’s a very good point you


a good you wanna do whatever you wanna
let everybody feel like a superhero

you want to be someone superhero to you
so you like our shit I had such a bad


and somebody needs to say something nice

to let me up right and then she rises to
the occasion

she is a super hero to you she makes you
feel better

you feel good she feels good because he
made you feel good

and then when it’s her turn it’s like
taking here’s somebody when they’re sick

you know when when I’m think you’ll be
waiting on me but when years that I’ll

be waiting on you to you take care of
each other

what’s beautiful really is so is there
any look to the future you live in the

now and you remember the capacity that’s
what they

I so here’s my tip for him what he say

he should instead of just bringing up
old stuff let her in on a problem that

is having

a emotional dilemma if it’s not there

make one up you know how’s that that
very good how’s that for DVI like that

the same are can ask Leah

and ask your opinion on something can I

pick your brain for a moment then she
feels like I’ll

he values me as more than just a
flirtatious partner but as an


a nice you’re crazy not like you know my
my dad hit my sister Nell

years the then maybe but my mom it’s my

yes icon like my dad yes at it still
talk about familial abuse

the and also I’ll just mention one

be other thing if you don’t know if
you’re free to getting that deep right


yeah you want you on a bill to that even
slower a something that’s always find

isn’t he talked about the past talk
about things that you’re looking forward


hmm like a fake making up a fake trip

like one day let’s go to the rainforest
or whatever

oh yeah I mean you you get into that yet
that’s always fun you like

when they were gonna take this road trip
down the coast

or gal that although from Buenos Aires

to Patagonia have okay and then you
start and then it’s fun because you can

just like Google Image Search these

exotic location screenshot them and send
them to wear it’s all

thoughtful and your building and image
together ranch and I see to get exactly

build if anything together

is always is always fun conventional
feel like

still see something in San Diego that
reminds me I dislike speak life that


envisioned in here it is how you looking
forward to it and romanticizing

this time that you could be spending
with you and then one day she will find

something like in a librarian send you a
picture and take home and now I’m making

her think about me

when she’s just out and about in the
wild and that’s the ultimate

the alternate yet when you’re getting on
unrequited texts

yeah you’ve been sectioned her to the
point I

it sound so devious but it’s very kind
yet cuz you like Sir

right dee dee is when you have no
interest in yeah if you do this just to

their weird social experiment we don’t
recommend that

rate um if your intentions are pure

if your heart is pure but how do you get
into the heading into the

the a you want to take a trip that’s a
little late and gotta know it she likes

she’s like

oh I love I love whales yeah for
instance I’ll fight right me who fuck


labels I whalers lawyers iight

I don’t see if he is she likes Wales
then you’d like you know a we should


there’s a whale watching trip but in
Antarctica and the circuit whatever

right just like pinpoint something she

heighten it to like an extreme version
of what a rich

the are the a et al

Zellers billionaire would do yeah and

are you to watch that emotional ward

poor on down boom baby I if you guys

have your own questions please email us
at a fiery show a gmail dot com

if you want Jake her with scissors
specific detailed expertise on a text

message conversation

that you’re having in your life once
again text Jake dot com open for


you excited you like these you like
waking up and having a bunch of that

text message conversation to go through

is a good %uh view howdy

I year it’s your happy place I

thanks so much guys we couldn’t have
done it without you

your emails inspire us and embolden us
to create these businesses that may be


completely built to fail its iight
absolutely and scaleable

unreasonable where capping our messages
because we can’t even afford to become

more successful than

the limited capabilities that we have
there’s only one Jacobs our daily

so getting it while before Jake decides
to give up for ever


yeah but that that’s our time the if you
still have opening theme sounds are

base but the mail submissions the email
address is always the same if I reach

our team at a comp

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