Episode 116: Eat Your Heart Out (Live from the Hollywood Improv!)


In this episode we discuss being drunk in love and settling for second best.

This episode is brought to you by MeUndies.com, BarkBox.com, andDraftKings.com!

hey Jake yes you know who sponsor this

who it’s not you 1 days who is it it’s

them Monday who is it that it’s not II
and the I really wanna know who it is


its it wasn’t you on days that mean

I biondi’s Oct keep that shit me

I’m not keeping at I will be like a cue
of Mike

I do you know shared

three-time other offices those stupid

stop it I’ll what is me on these dot com
for those are you have

possibly never heard this a show before
yeah the website

you that comes website missile underwear
and what kind of underwear

it actually was comfortable and I i
tranfer life a

how can you tell if it’s actually the
most comfortable underwear well I guess

the only ways to buy

by appropriate sell to buy one pair try
it out that’s their business model

they’re like

we if we can get people to just try one
out that’s how it worked because then

you have a good Underwear Day

and the likud is my me undies day and
the next day like oh no

I have to wear this shitty old undies I
will do that like if I’m going out like


wake up right aplomb a shitty old
underwear he headed by a

gonna go out there take a shower in a
bill in rash yeah

alright yeah cool socks yellowed year

yeah feel good that’s right I biondi’s
that my me on these

the Taliban hand but and their bare
release as I get paid extra to say that

a doping at the famed

any of our sponsors I really like those
guys a

we visited them they’re friendly they’re
nice so it’s it’s just great to support

the show by supporting great people and
they’re giving us a special deal to give

you guys if you go to me and he’s dot
com slash

Amir or me and he’s dot com slash Jake
there are ready

affordably priced clothings which is
incredibly comfortable and cool

a is an extra twenty percent of I’ll the
authorship to the US

and Canada for free they also ship to
the UK what do you have

no reason not to try it no reason at all

you have no reason at all no reason to
try one try one better

or you can give someone a pair of
underwear for their birthday or

hannukah or Christmas a Cayenne that’s
when it’s at its gift-giving season

and they have cool new stuff all the
time or if you just wanna check out

their website to see hot people in their

again that’s me undies dot com

flash a mere or me on these dot com
slash chick thank you

the this is our live episode

back at the Hollywood Improv the yup we
have fun on the road we really do is

that our hometown always thought I love
to show it being did actually end up



I’ll true trip they did for the at the
catcher enjoy


say anything go out time in

%uh thanks on don’t think people but

I just want to stand out sorry to hear
more the song I know

played all entire name I like this song
because I never got a message till


he doesn’t give a crap about her writer
Billings yeah

already admitted to her yeah through
yeah I

you good thank you Hey %uh

thank you the thank you everybody who
cannot accept for this guy

whoever has B&B run run front row and


whose shares with the absolute front row
for nobody they actually they leave a

chair open for the honor that has to
wear is

season I’ll give a I

the but only because that’s not right
and I made that up

yeah exists in the theory I would give
up yeah I would give up %ah

our desire to realize yeah which is this
others are another hers yeah

I actually change my mind I do give a
fuck about you

and everything that you do I

this is so exciting who years been to
one of these podcasting before

in who is never been to a live podcast

by yeah everyone I’ve been here before
you get up much someone that has a

what yeah hell yeah i join now

I table of I’ll change the love America

you learned how to much laying yeah

something if you like gonna hurt

there’s that people are still attends a
like that yeah

like Irish people when Irish people were
the strongest

reserve risk or yeah when you go

52 rather get the fucking kangaroo

you know a lot about history thanks to
Co so

what is this this is the podcast to get
off my cats are

everyone in this room listen to the

thus making it the dirtiest room in life
and all nighter now

Co we’re the most losers because we have
a part yes

which is like listening to a thousand
podcast right because we actually have


this is an advice podcast people write a
San with their dilemmas in their

problems and J&I

tend to advise these listeners

and other moral quandaries and sometimes
just %uh still

attacked as we do in a room with two
other friends in

and 10 show yeah chairs by the way

this is really nice to a

love you still it’s a pleasure to be
here with you guys pleasure to be here

with you

I know you feel the same way it’s a
pleasure to be here then and

conversely if they was a bizarre let’s
get started

I and just for the record let’s reassess
had the pleasure to be here and I agree

d like to hear that everybody else I do
like being here with everything I

Jeremy and I think with their study

I love you and you love it I and you
take it with you that as a binding

contract that we are in love

sellers stalin that does not make it

call a

our 30 I do love you

I skid now South

just 40 please relax other way of doing

they’re really good %uh K

alright cool headlines now in

a do we just Joffre getting get into it

I’ll yeah yesterday yeah yeah to hell

the I we don’t have her do not attack

we r out

but what a here I

i right for those of you who are on a

I unfamiliar these are I’m gonna be
reading really emails from real people

gonna give them a fake names an order to
preserve the anonymity cell

we need a fake name happy

the letter thank you john these are all
real Nash

is all real Mahan hosts yeah I want fake

fusion to be better be John does sound
like a

these non is that as the first met a guy

yeah know it’s actually a woman okay
well this is bear still be John

you get to give me a big name for a

start in

furry butt is OK answer thin

for reba the right about 30 but

free right money

Co she does redlining

no money money money money is pretty
tight these days and my boyfriend came

up with a novel solution to ease the

he offered to pay my rent for the next
month if I ate a piece of dead skin off

his foot



the alternates was a spitball to the
back of the throat

that I wouldn’t have to swallow the rent
is about six hundred dollars a month

have my salary I’m only get over but was
wondering if you guys have ever been in

a financial bind so severe

you would take that offer up or is there
anything else you’d have done to

prostitute yourself

out with a partner on ruling out sex
that’s too far

any insight could love closer to him

for real up for reba yeah we even have a
real %uh

but after the driver CSU

choking to death on up part of a
baseball yeah

the alternate was a spitball to the back
to my both

that sounds like a threat if she didn’t
do the but day it might be my dead skin

or else

it’s just spit ball to the throne Leah
it’s not fair

is not I don’t think that’s legal right

I don’t know I i yeah the legal it’s a

yeah sorry I know I got it going to war
with torture

Isleworth West you ever done anything
bad for money bad

for money well I guess like selling
drugs or something would be bad


and I did that once I were you I did
that I did that once for a long time

yeah was a very slow transaction

I I don’t they sell I don’t they ever
been desperate enough he will what is

what is desk in was it made a just you
know senator

as Canada

that doesn’t sound terrible up it would
be swell that’s from Park in Austin


what Goldmember did yeah

if gold never did is certainly he can do

I love you know better I’d be salty is
that a danger with you say

go orders a set a dangerous precedent
for this weird

billionaire boyfriend and her yet well
that’s the only thing is that you don’t

even have a lot of money he doesn’t
really really really want to do it

point I also like it is like I would
never have sex with him that’s going too


wouldn’t that be going not as far as the
dead skin

if you’re sleeping with her boyfriend
that seems our rich it seems normal

you to do that yeah Michigan parlayed to
say I will not sleep with you and

unless you pay me eyes that prostitution
but what about the conclusion

yeah does because she’s getting paid
here’s what I was a

it that of course is prostitution but so
is it eating the dead skin itches I keep

your form

someone said yes so what’s every ever
hear back there’s

every bed is that is prostitution to

I think everything is bright yeah I can
tell that’s very liberal or conservative

thing to say

either way I it is a statement

I and I think I stand by it have never
been so desperate for money

you’ve never run out of money I no I’m
infinitely wealthy

well yeah cuz you’re at your parents are
rich in endurance yeah

now we’re just all reg a perfect you
should come over for one of our money


I am cos everybody’s ladylike yeah

Co these are fans a hundred-dollar bills

I question which should she do it

or would we remember that thing in the
office we would who at college humor

back in the day a lot of people would be

LP twenty dollars to do this and I like
people jump in on that at all

they all match that I like and it was
like up like three hundred dollars to

like this

like the closest I ever came too crying
at work could I’ll

so without crying yeah because they do I
want yeah I cried out with every day

there’s a the clothes you got while
still being able to hold out around

Easter time and we got a bunch of jelly
beans right and we there’s this guy and

Austin Kaycee

people’s names will know kevin’s
innocent in this story okay

I haven’t gotten together named Kevin

great man

he was challenged to eat like a pound
the jelly beans

fair enough sure he did it yeah

great it was hilarious you got sick and
every I

funny finally got paid is money he had
to go home cuz he had some sort of

short-form diabetes a little areas

if anything much sicker went up so high
used to pay and

eat a lot of things and that was not the
only time Kevin got sick in my homework


then we on upped the ante so %uh

you guys know streeter maybe in so there
was a better streetart you

eat a pound just popcorn butter popcorn
flavored jelly beans


you guys are disgusted I a half with you
still in

so as peter is tryna make his way to his

he is spitting into a cup just cuz can

by can take their tissue muscle I’ve
heard it’s like butter popcorn flavors


just sick like borderline throwing up
into a cop right now

it got to the point where like it was as
high as my with you right now

in and then straight there too inserted
drink at the

but as they all give you thirty dollars
to do that again all match that and then

by the time do with the Dodgers like 200
bucks and you had no idea

how quickly we could raise two hundred
dollars yeah

we’ll we get out like a i actual Red
Cross charity fundraiser and get like

31 dollars gonna sure it’s something
yeah but it’s rigged the couple split

we had two hundred dollars into her c/o
past so

then like every the whole entire office
is surrounded this kid he’s holding that

couples bit and he was like whoa wait
wait wait start heading down from twenty

yeah and you lately got a ride on the

21 others like puppetry shot

%uh so there are worse things you do for
money is the moral story last year

I’ll would you do if you were here if

her it by Rio I feel I could break up
with the maniacal boyfriend you 1 30 a

display I mean if the

no fucked up do you think about it on
the surface and it’s like okay all

utilities that that’s getting a paper
half my rent

everybody wins I am but they
collaborated with dignity I’m actually


but then just not Charlie doing it if
you think about it he has the money and

he won’t give it to her

unless he does this thing that degrades

not sleeping with them but rather not do
much this split her mouth

there that sociopathic per share

so I wonder why they do it problem and
then break up with I’ll

show you take you you he is polite take
the heat a breakup

I disorder calling eating as right


mmm what would you do if your heard I
just said

I can you you would do it I was and then
I would take the money and I break up

i guess i would i would but is she
living with members that ok

you pay my rent separately when you hit
that is the rent that he owes yeah I

won’t do it

use all your heart isn’t LCD display I

then I guess I would probably do it
right what’s the alternative

if you don’t have money you have to
really get them I get a job

now I want to do that now on our making
money this is the ESN I

I get a job beating up but I i think we
answered it to answer in

shares to go bottoms-up

you guys gonna get racier did you order
drinks I don’t know what that the %uh



that takes place at your drink beer

a but you owe me one

could when you get your check or three
hundred dollars

could ever ask your aunt is a

alright now we need another air

boy’s name what I hear crap this

crammed s crandall’s

crandall I’m still not sure over in the
corner behind the piano

that actually is the piano talking you
came here just the Yellow crowned as 28


like I was hiding in the piano head like
me who is one of our other shows

and did you also your credit yeah the

you this is a performance art it’s
fucking by now

got our show few just goes all around
the DL Scranton’s you feel what you feel

like I would have been the custom in the
audience that is like Randy

I love you in

to prejudice he starts melting cuz

you met its role in anger you but the
fact that you love in

means he’s dead I’ll man

is there it can you get like renders on
social media

a fill you probably could write is a
green dot com slash

friend is the you dudu matching it with
a series K

it actually doesn’t matter alright ka

it is either or anybody here thank you
it actually is there see at the end like



a silent cue in the middle he said that
is so inconvenient

what if there’s an even amount a letter
that there’s no smack dab in the middle

he’s right

carr et crashes rest Ivette I’ve
recently been working

a really shitty job just to make ends
meet but in the last couple days I

receive a job opportunity and television
that i’ve been waiting for a just pick


I can’t wait to start in a few weeks
time and if that wasn’t good enough I’ve

got yet another dream job working abroad
in Rome for a long weekend with a friend

consulting clients and pretty much
getting free meals and free wine in a

beautiful city

I’ve only just found out about both
these jobs and it’s the best news I’ve

had in a long while but

here’s the catch: my girlfriend has been
struggling with IBS

cared about irritable bowel syndrome a
lot more than usual lately and now she’s

coming down with tonsillitis


a could

for those he was an object just like
somebody is ranked everyone was denied

his cheering for tonsillitis


so guy has great jobs girls getting more

per se a I can’t imagine how much it is
sucking for her at the moment so I don’t

want to make her feel jealous or even
more depressed by telling her all the

good news that have recently

it’s hard not to tell her either because
I’ll be flying abroad around in a few

weeks and chill

have to know about it and hearing about
it will probably just make her feel


she knows the person I’m traveling with
is an old friend although it might make

her feel worse because the friend is a
really attractive girl haha

I’ll do I love my girlfriend how can I
deliver this news best

what you’re doing is slippery sitch

practice credit too fast to break up

I himself cell

guys getting dream job after dream job
right girl has diarrhea and a swollen


and he’s afraid that telling her

will make her feel worse right and I
think that he doesn’t even realize that


inherent problem with this question that
he’s afraid to give his girlfriend good


because yet is this girl your mortal
enemy is Shearwater you know that if she

hears you get a dream job every time
something good happens to you it makes

your bowels were

yeah not only understands whether you’re
happy I have diarrhea

here movie you turns into

me she probably got tonsillitis

when he got the consulting here police
it’s like a break the law of the

universe has to be in order

it so he wins the lottery and and her
parents die or something yeah I

but I love you guys are really is that
right it didn’t really happen

she does I don’t have time yeah

that’s how that works I

it’s weird that he’s afraid to say that
but that shouldn’t is good news be

a result in her feeling better yeah

well and he’s also looking at her
situation as solitary

so you think good things happening to me
bad things happening to her

not like great things are happening for
us and bad things are happening for us

in like where does that leave

us yeah very it’s very levers her which
seems like a non healthy relationship

isolate you think i cant not teller
because I’m going around yeah

course we knew that you know I have to
say that she won’t notice that you went

to Rome

maybe her obviously so bad that we
cancelled %uh

yeah in a pattern for four days values
sipping wine

nine time zones away sell the advice

which is just this guy till I don’t know
I think it

I was dating somebody and they were like

making me sad about good things that
were happening to me

I would break up with them thank you


that was the most genuine I’ve ever been

like a kindergartner finding that pot it
was so basic

if I felt bad yeah

I would leave

you who casa o I just broke

everything down that’s how all
relationships are

so one should not even feeling bad or
sad he’s projecting that on turner he

fears that she will

that’s another that’s another way to
look at it tell you what

not tell you up but jersey at a good
point I just hear that you’re not


is all I have to read

yeah could also drive you here in a

attraction no sidecar and know how to do
that yeah

you were in front facing me yeah could
no helmets

with slow internet

it was borderline gay of people are like
because you were inside me

yeah a until you got here i win

the first looking anyway

I his way

yeah buzz another us not only in

you ever heard cowgirl right this is
reverse looking at ways

in yeah

yeah should but more do the

the the you they have if we

we’re not going to but if we actually
started having sex that is they are you

guys up

lottery to be so the

see I don’t know I don’t lie don’t they
are very very I do you like police said

yes lol

yeah Paul they wouldn’t apply for sure
is to be appalled at my balls

you really should yes actually pretty

run be appalled at my balls yet yeah

yeah be a be appalled by Paul

shocked at my shaft you gotta be

it’s the gonna last I need you to be
surprised if your mouth open live keep

your eyes closed so I when I go up in

0 but Co

PO loves love you

so that’s gonna be a single Co

just I want a girl to be shocked at me

that’s the last thing you can be if all
the eyeball

there’s a small call my balls

I have a lot of all had like seven balls
dollars all when I

salary you know it’s the size yeah I
will decide whether it’s the quality and

quantity of my balls

looks like a little rat turd Ellis
attacks Tuesday

I years buying

so here’s the advice for this guy you

tell her as in she should be excited for

right let great news or not I really

which I don’t know what the fuck yeah

done just joking about that I don’t you

on Yahoo in

thank you delightful yeah a

you tell a great news and then if she’s
actually excited for you that’s great

shields she’s you made her feel better

energy bills we receive the hell are you
matter at me for being happy

yet don’t sit around it is presented
like the good news that this

yeah and then adjust your relationship
that were correct is that your heart

thank you sir

your heart rule advise you do everything
with pure heart

who let your heart is molten lot like

little II did a I was manipulative
monster that’s how I know

to says it’s still a pure heart if you
don’t have one

also turned the pure it just changes all
the time yeah

me my house Miami yeah

okay I

and yeah

I alright we cannot let

said it you a

ol another lady per

help you sell the latter you already got
called on you done

I love it here you’re determined the

shara sharp

the right thing to do in these good

charlotte’s do it rights I had his
friend since middle school were but now

in college and I’ve always kinda sense
that he might like me but never said

anything because I didn’t want to be
wrong and ruin the friendship

anyways the other night he showed up at
my house around midnight totally smashed

so I brought him inside and he just
started crying and told me


it you just sit on my face

I could eat my way to your heart the





that’s romantic don’t understand is
really romantic

he then threw up and left



now I don’t know what to do I think he
was confessing to liking me but then

again he was drunk

and after that I don’t really want to go
out with him maybe he asked me out like

a normal person I would have considered
it but now

I still have to see him a lot because
our parents are best friends and we have

classes together

please help me so I can keep doing me
thank you for any help you can offer 200

does Sharla

shara nice

thank you sir a s all what do you think
a line

it’s a good line if you would just sit
on my face

I would eat my way to your heart I’m
surprised she didn’t do it

but gosh darn Valentine and yeah

drunk imagine what he means sober

at some and then to throw up afterwards

you with a really meant it yeah he left
it all out there

even is dinner %um but if she told her

is tells her dad and that he had their

has our best rather tell be at the Suns

yeah I hear I see your kid

actually fit I’ll call our yeah i know i
learn all you okay

he said it by I know it’s the

base think yep she’s not there yeah im
up with that

you did not I said I live 20 that’s how
I married old are you know

yeah surely get out here governor said I
got a space

in hell his way yeah all over your

not elaborate maybe yeah area this could
get your heart

a yeah here’s a question for you yes
she’s like I don’t know the magic as

he’s drunk

when you’re drunk and you’re yelling is
that the truth

or the truest truth or is it a allying
live really depends on how drunk you are

because sometimes you get like pretty
tipsy pretty drunk people like you know

I love you

and you’re like ok and that’s the truth
is an ideal really really really don’t

you like I hate my family

and that’s a lie

because you’re not even a human being at
that point so really depends how drunk

you were so he is really drunk he cited
your unit is really really don’t know if

my way to your heart

its to get the lines are not been
premeditated do you practice that

the road needed a mere

needed I shot actually practiced eating
his way to a couple hard yeah

to producer was it at the all-star you
with chocolate Easter bunny at first but

they worked his way in

I really don’t know if the I you look at
the good enough line that she should

have that on MySpace

you clearly with me

the I do they have true love you want
the person to sit on your face

I’ve never just wanted a stranger sat on
my face

only people I really care about to sit
on what is that what is it what is

sitting on your face is that the vagina
is it the whole everything

but is why then are you

also yeah yes so much wetness moisture

yes it’s on you because I am press you
know you’d like it if you love her the

you lovers we’ll understand you love
their sweat their saliva the

to she was tripping out there I you

everybody’s getting uncomfortable but
it’s got damn true

now so if this girl is or to put off by
it is maybe that’s a sign

that she should pump the brakes just cuz
you wasn’t drunk to Gino’s you can trust

I can’t believe you’re taking this guy’s

i think is good but it’s over during the
morning and just be like hey

would you really eat your way to my a

would you start with my heart a

and make it to my heart yeah that’s

let’s start with my are make it to my

yeah I think it is a given a shot I
really do.

yeah what do you think this is

admire you so what you were her a

I think she’s a little turned off by it
maybe she should pretend it never

happened maybe he doesn’t remember

and then see if it comes up in a server
that it shouldn’t have 247 e issue I


maybe as far as he’s concerned this
never actually went down says users

suppress it where other terrible
memories are and then when she dies I’ll

come out

and the battles are going to have been
in the good ones that how you know I’ll

write no

learning so much about it you beat your
bottle up your good and bad memories and

then dried good number is going to

and I was going to hell I disagree

but I think it’s beautiful than you have
obey them

your own day thank you I would yeah I
would not bring it up

I would be to mortify to say anything
and I would bring it up he said it’s not

like you’re allowed to call them out on

yeah against those are two different
differing pieces amid bus

and so does that what do you guys think
is it a night is a romantic gesture

you’re a lady a bug i truck killing him
over your house and said that you would

you be

flattered I think he showed up with
daisies wilting in the rain

are you here this is your boyfriend
right here because he was not in the air

was asking a

and this is a really nice little
microcosm because many other dude up on

the stage

I think it’s romantic you nodding along
you thought I was romantic to you

you because you’re you allow you would
laugh until he puked on your shoes

then would you wear no


leaving the witness what else the way
that you did

non-commercial ything a

they i dnt kno DNA Sciences de Paille

actually have more girls visit guys
where it doesn’t matter what guys think

rap where my ladies at

where my little cohabit a round of
applause ISO just the ladies just

between romantic in this is sweet verses

but no that’s really weird okay so
romantic really sweet a plot now

the Scott about putting and I don’t want
to see this guy ever get a plot now

well pretty evenly split not evenly

let us know you call that a youth where
felony even split

got a lot of the

we recorded it will happen that way back

chattel box is helping his record round
loss to Ohio

the ground making sure that all this
gets captured

for other people to listen to you you
greedy monsters other people can hear it

do you want to read a question or should
I just keep going

Ashley I mean I read on her at

the and he religion is not reveal
another you understand my dollars is a

lot lower than Jake so I’m actually

yes I like what you see right I was
leaving my tolerance is low or was that

imply that i three too much

chorus you’re happier and you drink too

remain happy if you weigh more than me
I’m stronger than your fat and now

Europe battered trucker hurdling me I’ve
got more muscle

you’ll have more fat you have more with
the EU holidays

than me currently and writing you today

yeah man relax mom

call from the bottle I really liked %uh

cool %uh why

a can you leader could take a photo of
how to get on Instagram I

clampett clam strips

hey how it has tech lab is the

the good man

my peers have pressured by the way this

is the coolest bottle ever have you ever
seen the back a bit lol

its I’ll it’s in great with Jake and
Amir suck

who made that the at people a tumbler

osha and notice that Michael checking
their site

a ever done for us not being good

they printed twenty five hundred cases
that the is the jail in their


chairs i right here we go

we need another female name I hope that

I’ll attica another uniform and

the beautiful internet yeah Mathematica

hadaka rights Hanon

sabbatical the best part you can name a


I grew up with the Times New Roman and
he was pretty cool he was really chill

yeah he was Newent rowing for lack of a
better word

alright political rights hey guys so I
was feeling pretty down because my

boyfriend told me in

perhaps so I was feeling pretty down
because my boyfriend never told me I was


it just annoys me that he never said
that if you love someone you should

always think they’re beautiful so it
eventually came out in an argument


and now he keeps saying it but it feels

cores car every time he says that I roll
my eyes and crane is on the inside

because I just don’t believe it

what can I do will it be like this

thanks how America how do you have a
closer look at ago

the that still rude

why she got the sole ru let you know if
you’re going to

human till human yeah the new a ball to

that’s right it’s just me well I think
we we we we it strikes a chord with this

is males because I feel like I perhaps
have been here before and gotten the

school did

i’ve been i’ve gotten a

that I heard a in somebody’s anger and
then when I changed it just felt forced

because it was

right because it was that fourth but it
was forced because what else can you do

that’s the beautiful thing cuz she was
upset that he never said she was

beautiful she talked about it and then
he changed

that you have to pay attention to you
nothing like is forced to work you might

have always thought it meets he changed
his ways to please you

isn’t that nice embrace that you asshole

a player it is for us now said she had
not heard since forces not sell any

although she’s a lot they thought the
engine come out an argument she should

have been gentle

and said hey and how do I say I would
like it if you do this and then

it today at you that’s it’s good to go
back in a relationship now

I was smothered a

but if somebody’s bring something up and
then like you’re sort of stuff because

if you do it you

it feels forced and it you know that you
that you can learn your lesson which

goes back to pure heart ruling do
something with no expectations at all

sell all

this is what happens when you give me
too much this

yeah probably our call


yeah so what

she if let’s say you’re a girl a

a beautiful woman okay Athens that

start borrowing your cell but oh yeah

a and your boyfriend ever says you’re

even though I am even though you are
right one

a would you bring it up it was bothering
me a lot I think I’ll bring it up

like it’s really bothersome they never
say that I am beautiful

and then what he then says it every day
and then the words lose all meaning

I guess if he’s saying it too much

you have to bring that at your sole nit
picky girl I

I really think she has to look at the
silver lining here

which is the chief something bothers her
yeah she spoke to him about it sure

and nothing changed and now maybe she
take that information going forward and

rather than letting this come out an

you can talk to him again because %uh
he’s responsive

so it sounds like Nash is gonna have to
town for a while you can tell she’s

letting it bother backup

she’s like a lot so annoyed at me cringe
every time to come out an argument again


seeing a beautiful but what the ball you
know what

well I was a genuine I am

feel for this guy I wanna go out with
him a

I’m a simple man I it would be a lot
easier if we were again on

I tonight tell you all the time Co I
don’t mean with each other

I’ll rare Coast

you Inc Randazzo in I’ll take what I can

I can get

it is it what would you do a

I mean I can’t even put my age my my
myself in her place

a I guess stop being mean cringed out

are rolling my eyes I don’t know change
your attitude as you’re saying yeah it

be different

yeah that’s ahead like that yet course

would you be with someone if you didn’t
think they were beautiful what is now


it I guess he is thought to say it even
though it’s implied but if I chose you

as a partner I think your beautiful

is not true I guess I don’t know yes sir

and it is so weird head I think you know
you’re beautiful

a arrows and that’s what makes it a

a everyone else in the room kids see it

now yeah in

naw I’ll I don’t know on Hugh

Paul they prey on little girls can we
just talk about that for a second

there they take advantage RI so what
should we tell this girl relax

the area shiel he’s doing it he is doing
he at least is changed

which is really the most you can ask all
your hard work for sure yeah I guess if

it really bothers the

anybody out here in a relationship in

does your significant other tell you
you’re beautiful in a I

I was about half as many people that
were in a relationship

well this is a good reminder anywheres
living next to your girlfriend and she’s

not use in a relationship and that
didn’t hear the second

a you got to stop a problem yeah

yeah you guys know


well at all sure okay but next question

yeah I was saying there’s a good
reminder to anyone listening out there

not necessarily the room right now

a it’s great to say you’re beautiful
your partner

to do it now right and they’ll be like
oh that’s so nice

ended they won’t know you heard it they
will know that a Jewish man once told

you to say

Kobe can’t a shifty Jew or call yourself
a Jewish man now

you I would bar mitzvah and I’ll yeah

yeah 38 you deserved it your own and
then I became why I was a man I had

braces for two more you know

end up I

did you have braces for a cig more yeah
I am a man that sounds good my teeth

early coming amendment that you have and
it raises

core alright set/sets last but

certainly lease a she was really got

a take a break

your yeah in

welcome hey


anything and no one was the shabad a

the mention

here’s the deal for you wanna form jane
tells his virginity story which is

something about

folklore for supper whatever in and he
only does it at live podcast savings and

then if you’re listening to the audio
recording we we we we and we cut it off

and we go to commercial break

which is like a surgeon at historian

only about a underwear snacks

yeah I so let’s do that right now let’s
get a round of applause is the

Siri everybody who sponsored a

bank and thats bark boxes dot com that’s
right Park box dot com

Park box makes the perfect gift for the

dog in your life whether it’s your
parents friends

or even your our own or even if it’s you

dog yeah her you’re a dog listening to
as you’re gonna love this

I know I’m a dog this holiday season
bark boxes

offering an exclusive gift offer never
give in said he gonna bark box dot com

slash Jake

or bark box dot com slash Amir and use
our coupon code

jacor Amir you’ll get 10 percent off any

with food gift now before it’s too late
bird boxes

basically a monthly subscription box a
high-quality fun and healthy treats toys

and goodies for your dog

basically if you have someone in your
life that has a dog

and you don’t know what to give them as
a gift bark box is the perfect answer

yeah enemies bark box dot com slash Jake
are barred box to accomplish in here

you’ll get 10 percent off your gift

each park box contains 426 awesome
full-size products you know stuff like

toys gadgets

and all-natural healthy treats and more
it’s perfect

for a dog owner you wanna be a dog owner
I really do wanna die I love done a DP

is gonna bark box then it’s like

your year you have all the accoutrements
but not be at like any responsibility

your dog’s there’s the best

and the streets come from the US and
Canada and the ship to the US

and or Canada a rest assured everything
is part tested by their of his pops

and your dog’s will love it so here’s
how it works: gonna bark box that comes

less Jake

or Bart box dot com slash mir then
select the size your dog

choose between four different types a
subscription plans and just use our

coupon code Jake

or a mere to receive 10 percent of any

Park box dot com iraq thank you as well
to draft Kings dot com their back

because you guys are 11 a.m. were love
animate a fantasy football website

millionaires are being made all season
long a draft Kings dot com America’s


one week fantasy football so you don’t
have to dedicate your entire season to


just make some pics on a week by week
basis one week

me that’s like a new season every week
you can pick your team in minutes

and you could be on your way to winning
huge cash like were your favorite

football players

I love Gronkowski yeah who else %uh
Brady so you just want to rebuild the

Patriot I love the picture

which is weird cuz your Yankees fan yeah
you’re the only a key spend that loves

the Patriots not through

you Callard that’s the shows a side that
I didn’t like New York when they were

winning every Super Bowl

I get so use your you just have been a
Patriots fan

like 2003 at what they started losing
was there is what I saw a hot Brady was

one listener turn 10 bucks to 5,000
another turned two dollars into ten

grand and a new millionaires been

every week this season a draft Kings dot

so get free entry into their hundred
thousand dollar fantasy football contest

this weekend

where first place take some ten grand
gotta go to draft Kings dot com

and enter promo code Jake to play for
free able maybe

they know of a true a if you have games
dot com

bigger events bigger winnings bigger
millionaires enter Jake

for free entry now at draft Kings dot
com their data

once again respect what’s the URL what

shit draft Kings dot com back to the


that hale you got to judge in

I liked the story actually it gets
better with age

I we have time for one more question are
you guys okay with that one more


%uh is ongoing we need a guy’s name




crazy how we can hear any yeah


%uh she in

alright alright alright you with your
YouTube yeah

anonymously piano and here we have a
thorn in my head

I certainly spell he and CE

leads leave that anybody say something
like leaves

links blames I can use that links

blanks Biol at bili and axe

right so the girl I was texting earlier
grady angered I’m actually likes me

let’s call her girl one

in another girl is just as pretty but
has a better body

what colour girl to in anyways i text
both love them all the time and girl one

will sometimes just randomly read the
messages and not respond

I normally don’t mind but I’m starting
to wonder does this mean she’s trying to

drop me like I’m hot

or is she just not a person that likes

and girl to has like this one guy for a

but he has never even hinted at liking
her back which makes me think she’ll

drop him

and she have told me I’m option numero

down my question is

should I go after girl one go after girl

or should I just go after them both and
whoever stays at me is the keeper

I would like both of them for a while
now thanks for the help guys lovely


yeah in gonna replace legs

in Chris

%uh so sad

yeah I want to say deserves it bring
anybody that read the email

like girl one girls you yeah you’re a
bad person

he also has girl not have them yeah it’s
not grow one or

his elbow the year israel’s don’t like

one doesn’t respond to my text the other
one told me I was option numero

tell you the status with being conquered

this speaking in Spanish yeah spent like

but so sad yeah I was a plan B hey

and your flight options yeah

a have you done this type of stuff on

Jake got contacted regarding com the

hired we build a website that allows
objectives are to offer live text

suggestions for you’ll see you love your
speech on Jake will tell you how to

respond or start a conversation with a
guy or girl

does this sound familiar to you a guy
who’s constantly texting a girl she

never responded is at 10 a.m.

well I think it is for a bomb play an

I’ll obliviousness where others as your

Wall Street Journal article rank yeah
quest the epidemic up a little bit of

I got getting your writer yet through so

I these people had no idea how they’re
perceived by other people

yeah why is that because they’re not

because they’re down in bad can you be
smart and also not software is that the

same thing I think be like

I think it comes in like a deep rooted
in security

right they billable wall so this guy
thinks he is not desirable to anybody

that’s why is wondering like

what’s this girl respond to my text
whatever it’s fine she tried talking

like I’m hot bitches doesn’t like to

and this other girl oh yes she told me
know that numero does that’s great

that’s actually really bad if people
don’t respond to your texts

and then your other crush likes of yall
that bad play that’s different way I

could spin that story

so the his option number one doesn’t
respond to an

and as option number two called him

optional a your guy to girl ’til

that’s not good so so

I think the the real answer is

at it used to be as multiple choice yeah

with abcd none of the above so I

and he can’t go after anyone cuz no one
likes it

I know that he knows a sure but there’s
hope for him yet

I yeah could you become self-aware

like a cyborg in the future gain powers
that allow yourself to become this way

or is it just

is that a genetic thing they either have
a very dull her know

at like it’s like self editing you know

okay call wouldn’t solve anything

like could you look at something that
you wrote down and find the mistakes in


I’ll Noel

ka no I understand you’re saying you’re
like are you able to look at into

yourself and find your old

own faults yeah and see what you’re
insecure about and check yourself

against like the facts and opinions and
be like MIAD

being an asshole right now but do you
think you can look back in time and say

oh maybe I wasn’t like that back in the
day are you always like that

it without always self-aware yeah or
have you gotten smarter overtime

I got smarter over time but I’m still a
complete moron

at the only like the smartest thing
anybody can do is realize that they

don’t know anything in their mind
constantly changes

right %uh suits that it’s sort of

I think so if you look down on yourself
via therapies

I I don’t actually know anything

but I know this guy that he’s a shit a
possibilities there is

is it he should build I

thinking you could download tender and

class swipe to the right so frequently

just nonstop yeah just went like the

a hole in your screen slightly I

good the class is melting from the heat
the Pirates I wanted to get glass livers

is into the next mayor from swiping so
are a glass

I’ll what’s it called a splinter there

yeah I said sliver the splinter that
sorted as noted in a changeable

sorry sure a d

I’m China even fathom what advice could
be that’s not

you’re asking me I’m asking what you
think I feel like he has to start from


likes likes the crumple up this piece a

it’s good to restart sometimes a lot of
times you have these like lingering

situations and relationships you can
just like alright lemme

start from scratch and see how I can be
ideal and no one’s here right now

I this is just me and you yeah

choir we fucking we say a

but would you say that’s true but to I
was lost in your dick yeah

start over option three girls three

yeah option yes turnover I you should be

numbering the girls in your life option
one option to you

other that girl the number you yeah as
option to really that bad

there are 7 billion people on Earth so
to be someone’s number two is actually

not terrible

now we’re talking about maths on lock

like a girl came up to you that you
really had a crush on and she was like

I’m actually relieved to this guy but
once he rejects me I want you so bad


alive because then you were ever be like
you wish you were with somebody else

yeah but then it’s like how you can get
them so that’s not bad

a satisfying relationship I’ve ever
heard now because it isn’t art

is it from isn’t where rack alone lol

so you’re not hurt you needs more oil
within your number two

everybody here’s an idea what overall
number to everybody and we don’t know it


every relationship you’re in is because
nobody else wanted to be in a

relationship with that girl or guy

that yeah baby yeah true love is not
real because I promise you my

grandparents were married for 50 years
my grandfather was

but Scarlett Johansson I

if what ever she wasn’t going to do yeah

she was like Joe John drops in your road
LCD like okay let’s do this let me just

finish a different way

would you ever date someone that’s been
broken up with because in that case your

number two


you brother Mike card

how do you respond to that accusation
could be a

you ever date someone who has been
broken up but I understand that

fundamental that’s fundamentally flawed

you change you change as you grow you
like your relationship

shaped you be just because like somebody
broke up with you doesn’t mean you’re

like has to weigh like not an option

it needs you have ended one relationship

you have learned and you move on and
then you grow and then you’re part of

something new

so you’re saying you’re always number
one choice and your girls always

heard you’re saying everybody’s always
striving to be their best for the person

they love

and that you too hard da


I don’t think because someone

has been down that their trash that is
being blown tire putting words in my

mouth are you listening to this

yes it is logical fallacy I never said a

she said you’ve ever been done in your
number to the youth youth

let your mind go that was a muscle spasm

was an accident a 20 i think is that
okay to use someones number two because

Allah dollars so many people in the
world number two is actually not that


%uh its you a number to a silver

I would love to be number until about
the second-best

anything in the world I would you rather
close by

you and had all few actually yeah

everyone in this room not on yours you
know you know today so I’m

I’m representing be quiet minority
because I know there is %uh

Global soul not Shaan traffic on the 405
not that he doesn’t know why

clear it will not admit I can holy

yet something no one else in

or at time %uh

I don’t know everybody his audience you
guys are all my number one


yeah I we’re living in a house I don’t
like chatting about oh hey however I

thank you very much diced


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *