Episode 13: The Necklace


In this episode we discuss high school athletics, difficult graduation decisions, and how to clean jewelry.

This episode is brought you by 20Jeans.com! Great jeans starting at $20! Awesome shirts starting at $10! Support the show, and at least check ‘em out while listening. Thanks so much guys!

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its wall


yeah I’m


yeah awesome that was i think one of my
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always yeah will give you money if you
got the performer for a sec

it’s a lake what is it about it just

kinda like passionate passionate like
but simple

yet it’s also like old-school yeah like
it it takes me back to a time that I

don’t even remember

its and sketching Scott entailed and

I were you proctor compound well as any
other ways as well as an adult but there

is i i would near and dear to do

yeah cool anyway that’s Alex McGuire
this is if I were you the only advice

podcast on the Internet

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we ask for things on submissions and
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it was a my god and lick I really feel
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I you never see me flush and years lie
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I just staring at the ceiling holding a
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have %uh

well I it work to look up in a cold

I you miss the greatest song I that so
you miss so far as the whatever favorite

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missed absolutely nothing

true I and every one of our emails that
we read we try to

we’ll will read it verbatim but will
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anonymity so don’t worry nobody will
know that it’s you writing

are you really pissed at us because

okay at will guess they can get by the
tone in your email but like

I’m not gonna change that cheeses relax
feel that I okay so what I’m how he was

doing talkin to

sandwiches conversation yet something
that I think I’ll

pissed that like just by reading their
emails were out it was not really

happened no it’s not like in a sense
that the seller thinking that yeah like

in a

on after that supposedly saw %um to the
that the children were he

no and loses


they do

the land

and now will you to hash tag dope that
alone is

has tagged out dude that song is the
personification of hash tag

over the Internet has to go we have a
decided yet a

alright let’s get into it we have eaten
that much time

so here we go this one is from Peter

Peter Peter from Australia rates

now down to the nitty gritty here’s the

I was dating this girl a little while
ago and we broke up two months before

her birthday because I move to a
different state

now just before I had left I bought her
a necklace to send her on her birthday

now I’m sitting here like an idiot with
a necklace and not knowing what to do

with it

her birthday is coming up soon what
should I do with it

should I risk sending in her not
replying or denying it

and me and having to go to the nearest
Starbucks and slit my throat

haha thanks Peter at life is so hard

we describe the questions in the
problems that people that are in dire

dire need stuck between a rock and a
hard place the disguise just holding a

necklace the buffer at Lake obviously

is a hard question to answer for him for
him is that he doesn’t quite understand

this so if you bought a girl

your girlfriend a president and that
she’s not your girlfriend anymore

for two months she’s not your press it’s
not a present for her

the you bought the present for someone
that doesn’t exist anymore yeah sees a

guy do goes

and last time I checked I echoes
delaware necklaces

bill ball of her neck few actually a
real writer do it real short story about

it it’s called go still wear necklaces

I few it’s that the sequel to go still
wear t-shirts

I just don’t wear shoes those are always
naked they did by that like the period

that it things just fall off book

go through goes the should always be
nude yeah

or they’re always wearing ghost close in
street clothes that they diets jail but


is a really is a for there in the full

what do you expect and roads railways
brookner Yami

the the Solent video bombed colored

mace was yeahh you we really didn’t have
an answer to that is like two out

the really irritate people the if

years back characters holding a radar
gun there it back already

yes get there to do it my eyes it’s
really know it’s sort of like the face

of a Robert De Niro impression

luv with the added to your reread it
goes to Robert De Niro who will

yeah guy who’s lazy sorted out a a
clever banter that someone called about

presenting is a okay

redundant your new K it so do you do you
voice your

value the ya dil me that they have you
know to have to rake

Drake iota schecter droid a I

is a Google and Radha so

is there anything you should do besides
did not give it to her

also I I love the phrasing that should I
risk sending in her not replying it

yeah that’s I guess that’s a risk like
we have

at the lowest exam ever like I hate to
send this necklace and then

not hear anything back I don’t know if I
can handle that risk of not hearing back

from my ex girlfriend way said the
fucking present to you after we broke up

two months ago

are you really not gonna say thank you
for these yes safety give it to someone


that’s also a really weird would you
like a necklace

I detailed review here the only donated
to The Salvation Army

to the day jewelry yet totally up that’s
a really sad idea for did you say

of yeah like selfishly poor people
should have a jury

you ass if who thought a second hand
julie really grosses me out why

Lee wearing the ring that’s already been
sweated on for by another guy for like

tens a year’s oh yeah grossly wash it

you know wash jewlery yeah he did you
feel I put it in a pot and boil it or

some shit

that you I mean I think so you can clean

you could definitely clean jewelry you

boil it nowbuy any but I think you boil
statically that the I will I’ll look it

up right now

boil it actually miso soup that’s like a
really cool technique you get like a

part of me says super you boil a ring in

this I really this is a real thing I

using a Google boiled jewelry yeah and
it was the suggested search

you will surely really iro Boyle J E and
it wrote Boyle jewelry to clean I guess

I’m glad it didn’t say boiling do

boiling water many people who believe
the boiling water is a good way to clean


yet a dot to dot those people are a
hundred percent wrong

up you know who worketh

yeah I guess boiling anything would
clean it rate so that sacrifice if

I bet is that this is what I get their
way into the league slugger there were


letters that is terrible surge on my
phone it’ll be here forever and even if

I delete my Israel

just it’s in the cloud the NSA is just

someday I might have to answer for that

boiled jewelry to clean some sad
desperate search

where I like I’ve soil the jury if

Louis do you did I hope for in bullet

a goddess stain on his re

it’s in that class hits in the crowd

the fact that I thirds that those are
you could delete it from the phone but

it’ll never

go way you’re my Israel it here earlier
today I googled a

I mark-paul Gosselaar shirtless fact

your last two surges you he did post
that on somewhere me like

I’m not afraid a posting my searches
trade mark Paul Gosselaar shirtless

boiling jewelery

I you

that was the one below that on

I do want to tell you guys if the

its Rob Thomas officer

with these nice early thank God tom is
boiling jewlery

a yet let me look in mind and see if
there’s one that’s

humorously a embarrassing

I am this one’s pretty embarrassing

but not really bit rate calculator but
then there’s think the

if you lose it you there’s is love

this was also embarrassing ESPN dot com

who cook I if they did that go

and I googled mark Paul Gosselaar
mark-paul Gosselaar wife margot go to

there is certain is that how to the boil
jury typically

dude look how to pronounce mark-paul
go-slow good it feels that you’re


mark-paul Gosselaar bartholomew’s elaire
I just what it is like an

have they don’t care I did say is God
they lettin Zack Morris dick

Zack Morris dick huge I

boiling water to leave diverted you

boiling water clean Dustin Diamond sick

I I it

it you’re funny rather dull

gonna they’re both data really didn
figured why

let I can’t believe I search this weird

like God from I don’t send to the

Chile you jerk give it away throw it

to boil it away boil until it
disintegrated and drink a glass of hot

boiling gold dissolves

I who police said I’d reorder put it in
the drawer you don’t it doesn’t matter

just don’t give it to her she’s your ex
girlfriend you don’t give her jewelry

you giver of a friggin explanation and
that’s that

on cool %uh

my face hurts good sign if the

where you prop up to bond down at things
and packing

and burn do brown order here and there

alright question number two to this one
comes from

Stuy still be say hi and real email

so my friend in class but a new jacket
but it’s not a normal jackets the Ryan

Gosling jacket from drive

the awkward thing is it doesn’t really
suit him and a lot of people are making

fun of him behind his back

even taking Instagram’s him love him and
hash tagging him

how do I tell him he should start
wearing it without hurting his feelings

plus he’s been a bad amount of money on
it what’s the has tagged with either I

really want a search if it is those that
this kid

like probably like is I mean is that I
because I loser wanna be

big house to Gosling wanna be he gets it

%uh who is this loser Kb me I’m not a
wannabe I am Gosling for crying out loud

the big one Blake he did he get really
pull it off or does really suited like

only if only suits Ryan Gosling and
driving and even barely that yeah

allowed to get sick it doesn’t even see
Ryan Gosling it suits his character a

fictional character and drive yeah I
mean like myself when kitna who can wear

that jacket know what to wear that

it’s okay I will you on discover the
jacket is repealed in seed rides like em

it’s like a sack its it looks like
gold’s the gold satin jacket with like a

white satin dragging on a golden

a scorpion on the backs out it’s only a
three day

what the fuck no you don’t happy kid do

it’s late its is also like solely

at least if it were like a really unique
we’re jacket like that it’s like oh

that’s cool you got like such as like we
both passionate it is not a bold fashion

statement you just wear your beer Jackie
pick you saw someone else’s like

some examples carbon copy %uh Ryan
Gosling at least get your own version of

the unique

jacket and I that character is cool not
because he saw to a cooler character

where did the movie

that cara is cool because he created a
cool jacket from scratch your black

jacket with the spider on accident I

disputes switch it up a little bit I
mean holy city kid you that you can’t be


oh wow that’s really interesting and
unique I it’s mine now and now I have 12

yeah it’s a little less interesting a
little less unique but still very much

very much in 3d and quite quite rare

I’ll say a few not a lot of people
actually went through the effort to buy

new jacket

it’s like seeing a guy with a
one-of-a-kind tad too and they’re

getting yourself

I your devaluing the currency this is
the bit coins a jacket the more you buy

the less they’re worth

their knees asking he’s not the guy who
bought it read about it

we all can agree should know about the
jacket yep he saying

how do I tell him that he should stop
wearing it without hurting his feelings

think honesty is the best policy
directly him and

a I think your cool the jacket you think
you look on the jacket

and that’s about it his people do not
like the jacket love you making funny I


was guy I don’t care what people say
about me he definitely does

that’s why he got his jacket his ears is
it your go to phrase you do you

yo do you is a is any al Delia a little

this is beyond my no do you will

it was doing you puts you in the Ryan
the Gosling

jacket from drive the subtext that yo to

an asterisk you follow it to the bottom
it says unless it’s talking about

wearing the Ryan Gosling Jack

I guess that’s not doing image doing
somewhat as around us these other num

sees be yourself not somebody else
that’s right

the you tell your friend that you like
you know budget assholes are like making

fun your jacket is kinda lame maybe

ideas with it but is our way to do it

maybe he has to have his feelings hurt
yet he does I think

I think he’s gonna its gonna hurt his
feelings less if someone tells us what’s

up rather than like

let him find the hash tag leave your
house feelings you should tell it now

before he finds out on his own and then
it’s really sad

but isn’t as bad advice because this
guy’s doing what he wants to do and then

he gets picked on and we’re telling them
to change

aren’t we the bullies in the situation I
believe he’s doing this for the wrong

reasons I guess I’d like to talk to be
like are you

wearing this jacket cuz you saw it loved
it 10

the same wonder yes goes I’m thought
that like Ryan Gosling the coolest movie

wanna be Ryan Gosling so people think
you’re cool see when out by

this jacket for a lot of money it is
like those at the same thing he just

wants to be cool

I particularly there’s a difference

wanting to be cool like spending money
on is that the you don’t need to spend

money on an invite wanted to be cool but

do it your own way so

their suggestion as he can he its it’s
fine to want to be cool

everybody sorta wants to be cool but
there’s a better way to go about doing


I guess early no like what

oh my god really this question just
broke maybe

they really did he really I’m down it it

really I’m we always answered it to

I you did answer 89 biggest

I a what I can’t even speak

yes you can you do I kid talk right now
doin swear to God I think I’m like at a

guide their loss for words you def

honestly for it feels like it feels like
it like I like a cat got my tongue

right now doesn’t matter he really does
I felt like I was getting under a god

damn pp yet a Vegas down you’re making
sadly they can feed you stringing words

together in four weeks that the

as is the belay I yeah I i kno her know
it’s weird cuz I feel like I’m one hand

I have an

this obligation to buy him if I can like
includes people are not spend money on

stupid products

and flaky and to go liked

to try to be cool and and like not the
true themselves and be like oh %um like


I don’t really know I will kinda Jack I
like but this one was in a movie so may

go by it

essential their money it so it’s better
to be like

I don’t know just tonight let yourself
get swept up in that

but then than that also not letting
people for you that on their own

this guy’s really in a a predicament
over here

sees the G’s that doesn’t let me know
here but a

go to the website I yet I

I guess the earth right to the data
shows if I were you

right so don’t have to does that the
right answer this is what I would do in

this situation

okay so don’t judge me if I get it wrong
all right dick

I I think if it’s my friend I say

hey people are making fun of you I don’t
if you want to give away the jacket

with you but I just don’t people like
you’re my friend and I don’t want people

making fun of you behind your back and
maybe give them all the information led

to make his own decision like

a look at this hash tag hash tag a

Gosling dork I in all these photos have

are you okay with this right you are
then I am and I so you’re not

just letting you know and I think you
should talk to the the

hash tag bullies and say you know work

I this actually is not cool this is it

okay it now and then you just

yeah Anna I is closed in really did
break yeah I miss the am not even sure

Miami Beach ido yeah i know i up

I’ll have to shut nananananana if I

who are you downturn in the


overdue live there well my dad in

all right sir I we tried

tell you my my my advice is to tell your
friend let him know you don’t have to

force him to stop wearing the jacket
police give them all the information

when to make an informed decision

that is I am right next question

totally different side to the world
let’s go to

Brian and Ryan

my varsity baseball coach wants me to
play summer baseball but I’m already

doing summer basketball and football
workouts and camps

the baseball coach said it will help my
chances of playing varsity next year and

they need me

should I play summer baseball link out
you know he advice

a prick I your perfect

you you some advice be my friend yeah
you’re a three-sport varsity athlete

that has your

your pickle which sport you wanna play I
was afraid I was asking all too well

have sex because I’m so I’m blessed with

I’m like maximize my time playing sports

gonna hook up with chicks already
looking up with the head cheerleader

%ah but like now the prom queen wants to
sleep with me to what do I do

the word it’ll hurt my chances yes it
you don’t have approached this is what

they call it like the opposite have a
problem with the say this is a good

problem to have I don’t you think it’s a
problem to have it is a good

it so it’s a good situation to be in I
you’re so good at sports that three


coaches we need you to play other summer
teams I

you ugh is it possible that this person
is an attractive

in my mind is the best looking guy in
high school yeah

and the restored athletes are a can they
be ugly

public like you no this is probably the
kit with you

what position the quarterback it is in
the quarterback

well back shorts or pick quarterback

right to an arm point guard amazing

chances are what are the chances that
this guy is very ugly

says picture yourself sir you’re

we want to see a picture I guess even if
his face is an attractive like an

attractive face on a very athletic body
is not even sure why me you may not have

an athletic body

but he’s doing three sports I was just
getting I could do that obviously

fucking ripped

cuts tax I mean what’s 50 expected

do jacks tag put no racks your triceps
are probably the size of my fuckin


I’d love to know how many did she do I’d
love to know your max bench

house why I don’t even you ever try it
but i wanna know your regiment okay

fatwa I wanna know I wanna know you I
want your diet I wanted to your regimen

I want to know what kind of clothes you
wear okay are you replace you %um

are you a tight medium if you are a
large does it look like a god damn small

this guy wears the Ryan Gosling Jackie
never know the whole the coaches like a


play up the %uh some early for baseball
to really help your chance in varsity we

need you

I I think you gonna be fine I think
you’re gonna get

I think the coaches just like gonna let
you do whatever the fuck you on Yahoo

like Coach

I’m gonna do football practice this
summer and you can suck my dick if you I

will suck your dick yes you will now I
will let you know that I A OK with both

the United now I’ll tell me that I know

to enhance crank it out you that’s rare
as are you there yet

know your child have a child’s age your
child Brian

hit a girl I’m a girl we radiate are you
will you be the DH two and I’ll say I’m

a girl I will not do that unless you
call your life right now

I don’t know you dollar I’ll all I gotta
give lead rise making me do this and you

are going to be alright Charlotte yet
Charlotte we and what will

other girl other girl who I’m psycho
brian De Niro I would never fucking

flavors such a pushover

yeah that’s right when it comes I front
fork kit

fifth you Jake you can favor with 2n
cranking throughout that entire bit

I few verses of

unit i curl

I really am a girl I really have hello

yes %ah I’m a girl is it

you’re a loser I will never fucking play

sploosh no I Brian I

you the reply in

I Christ man that’s not cool

there really isn’t cool dude I’m gonna
give you one more chance go fuck

yourself go right by

if imbue I will I really will go fuck
myself if the if you think that’s what

it’ll take

novices or two separate from the
baseball DL I still want you to do it


I’d like to suck your dick again I good
for me

year the

you’re the coach I think now sir the

you the code give me a few you know my
life coach

um mercy ravin fun it

you are a if you’re funny you’re funny
to me they really are funny funny BC

for I really like the earth I like doing
this late of the podcast of the record

from really like your funny is funny

it funny you’re funny making it yeah you
make me laugh of the park as of the

record I think you’re a good man you
good friend I think you’re funny guy

you think your lead you free to
appreciate you appreciate it

you I really think yet we’re lucky to
have found each other alright yeah it


I’m yen and it yes it’s fun that we get
to like

like this is work is great on the system
is this really yeah I mean

we like found a passion that little
doesn’t feel like we’re yeah

but if he feels like a layer yes I
really doesn’t feel better it’s a

pleasure will you be here with you

yeah is that he does he find a job you
love you have to work a day in your life

act like I really do feel like they are
really like that

another guy I like a lot you know to you
feel like that because I feel like it

did you

I really digo que and the rest of my
life with you and I wouldn’t get

excuse me the rest the life

on I see this and what the fuck was that

I’m yeah I was just saying that I wrote
I like to on

I like hanging after looking at the two
but like yeah if it lasted

maybe for the restive on what do you
think while I do you think

absolutely that’s over commitment up
let’s take it day by day but

good day by day

day by day day bad day

we should have had nine drinks before
recording this one which it had 10

room you do. the idea

and let’s take a little break a little

guys if you like the show a great way to
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saying how wrong it is

I will never change and why would we
change we have a friggin perfect game

going don’t talk to us on the seventh
inning about god damn yeah I gave the

pitchers on the mound a week I contact
okay exactly 21 of 21 down we can also

improve that’s what’s up that was that

you you start telling me shit like lil
with text are getting better in this

waste are doing this

like now that gets into my frikin head
making a connection with the hate that


I know what’s the best for me because I
me. because I E

past and if police is the way she ever

absent the at you it’s like to

Tom from liquid ATT was a teenage girl

%um Jack shut up dad cannot add

yeah I I’ve gotta have it’s like atti

it’s like that or a 98-year-old lady I
hey Tati

ATA yeah I noticed that like we do that
i’d get like one

I was the podcast that has are both
doing a voice like that I like

forget which one of us is talking is
like we go through the same exact %ah

he was doing if we’re doing a if we’re
doing this voice you know like your only

goal and we’ll see you both doing right
now look who’s who

okay let’s play a little game alright
but the hour playwright so what else

what about the par-3 you go try to guess
who gets

alright are ready one to you 3 audio

I who was that

so for example that was Jacob is a mere
or in my life

name is Jake to all you had this awesome
you’re going out so law

I yet this is why we need a video
version to the podcast that’s true

which we actually have done if you
haven’t checked it out you can get you

to dot com slash if I were you shown you
can watch

we recorded an entire episode and posted
online were also posting little clips in

that episode because they’re more
digestible honestly

quite com alright we’re running at a

time flies yeah let’s say let’s get to
one last question

no mas this one comes from another dude
I’m sorry

ladies quagmire you say

quagmire aids giggity giggity hey guys
so graduation is coming up

Tuesday and my family really wants to
see me walking graduate but my super hot

girl friend from college wants to give
me a little present at the same time if

you know what I mean

so to graduate high school or smash my

you insecure with

it’s so funny because this guy’s trying
to be as cool as the last guy was

splits I and is also trying to be as
good they get the feeling is that this

it is

people who are cool people who are
trying to be cool

and just coolness in general and
straight-up liars like this a.k.a

mice look so a girlfriend is trying to
fuck me in a closet before graduation

yeah what do you like mice is trying to
give you a little present at the same

time if you know what I mean I don’t
know what you mean what do you mean he

likes to fuck you during the graduation

just to have sex before or after
graduation also

you don’t have a girlfriend he said he
did you know it people who are in high

school they do have super hot
girlfriends you know how they act

they don’t email people and say that
they have super hot girlfriend because

they just already exists is guy is just
like he is curled up into a ball with

this plan

see no it but its own words what is he
hoping to hear it is really given all

the dispute is I

I so we just got amazing questions guys
like okay should I graduated straight

just get

bone by is super hot girl are you
kidding me dude I homeless

that’s fuckin amazing I flick honestly I
really want to say is wrong I have to

give his fake names quagmire but like

everyone will at school I know who is
graduating summa cum laude loud he alpha

I know you’re gonna say

graduating summa cum laude leave yeah

getting boned during the Graduate hot
he’s getting summa cum laude

okay this guy i think is a hero to me

this guy is my dad now he’s my boss is
my confidante he is my coach my life

coaching my mentor

and I bet his girlfriend is such a smoke
show yeah such as smoke cell

the other paid admission if you wanna
see the show after the show smoke

and mirrors cuz guess what they have sex
in front of

lot amir’s lawyers are involved is
getting kinky it’s hot it’s awesome he

is also a graduate has was smashed my
girl it dude you know you’re gonna smash

your girlfriend instead

graduation is for nerds yeah fucking is
for turds

turns is a cool way cool people talk
about cool to holy

you’re a turd tell your friends have
been taking him you call me a tard I

food so yeah there’s your answer mother
fuckers I

or are we the lamest people have all
because we’re making fun of this high

school on a podcast

ho %uh I think

he’s no loses yeah como we’re right now
it’s cool yeah

out your level I’m going to learn living

yeah I figured cool do laws the man died
as you and you will I think I’m could

say that’s a really big seller both why
would you think I’m really I think I

could totally be and I mean yeah I do by
the Division I since you hang out with


yeah you hang out he said that makes you
eat that makes me really cool that makes

you cool tnx

I’m so I guess we’re both you cool down
kinda cool let us all be like

hey we’re cool dudes in ages not her say
yes and we already see it is old

I would you say yes to that but I would
say as their butts I

you because only when he had I as
someone who you think is cool I don’t


you to throw away that label willy nilly
I feel like that would release


again risk you do you live through it
like I appreciate that you called me

cool and you know an hour ago I thought
your cool but

at this point I’ve been called cool and
I don’t wanna just

I don’t wanna lose that I wanna devalued
by just friggin slapping that label that

every miracle run out and then if
everyone school suddenly I’m was cool so

it’s not gonna have you get it

I mercy we are at a time but dole

I’m sorry but we’re gonna be back next
Monday and every Monday you can listen

to the show in a fiery show dot com or

sees the cheese dot com sissies the
episodes go to seize the cheese

I’m so sorry that happened I shouldn’t
have said that I really should have

why Ireland knows he’s the episodes
that’s bad

but like I was already there so much
momentum going to the sentence I could


the year you your bad hi I am

arm your god damn it %uh shit had

another test up their cries time 0 I can
tell he’s trying this out the two years

you can’t know

he finished his over me please actually
will you can talk with you crying with

I I really do I desire to speak their
native I

you a yes that email one last time is it
a fire you show at gmail dot com

you can email us and we’re gonna try
we’re gonna we always read every

question but

we can’t read them on the show we just
gotta choose the best ones I’m sorry

and yeah I’ll T-shirts our teachers are
still available at Busted Tees you can

get a fiery showed a counter

check out what they are and if you want
if that’s a great way to support the

show because you can purchase

a shirt I let’s and the show with
another theme song

guys if you have any good the ensign
submissions those are starting to slow

down the

keep a map keep them up given come in
and hopefully they can be nearly as good

as the one that we played at the
beginning the show that I just wanna

play gandhi is it so damn good

or that we’ll have any song yeah exactly
right this is Alex McGuire’s

if I were you thanks for listening
everyone styling you

had gelato from mild she

I things




yeah I’m



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