Episode 135: Attraction (with Laura Hurwitz!)

Description:

Jake’s mama joins us to discuss protesting, parents, and her new novel!

This episode is brought to you by BlueApron.com, MeUndies.com, andTaxAct.com.

today’s episode is brought to you by
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if I Rio

on let’s get the steps that started very
exciting one

your mommy was on I love my mother she
was great on this episode

she’s she’s insightful and she’s a

she as she’s wise she’s wise beyond her
years

yeah and she made you so how bad she
could she be

yeah that was maybe the highlighter
lightly and

let I a let’s get started

the money luckily got real unusually is
worth

but my the mo

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me cue to me

to

the new the new

are me

the new

the new

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the new

and

are

shoes

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you mean

you need

the new

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demand

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me in the end

do

me that was roger McGuinn the whose name
we had to

am pretty great but he sings like an
angel the now is actually a lady named

Grand Master K

who were Laura knots I

thought it was really cool that it was
that’s my mother lol

so you don’t call her law right not all
your mom

all gone where you don’t know how that
would work the United murder my mom

hmong not all every my mom yes I do. I
call your mom mommy it

to call my momma yeah demands to anybody
who’s Amman you call mom

yes I have been burned out right golden
rule you

they’re going to moms may have a child
then I am the child

I the role are I

%uh I am so fine with Yukon me Laura

or my our mom airline they both work
that’s great

I feel like the song is very sweet right
up your alley yeah I really like dead

all claims line

that was callin and how could she make
it better hi good really pretty broadly

was good

we all loved it was awesome I think the
nicest thing we can do

is however helpful tips yeah helpful no
sign is perfect

yeah no sign is perfect let’s start with
running time: 118

great birthday terrible running time: me
a little bit two-line

I think we do would save it under a
minute let’s trim the fat no need

absolutely

mambo mecca my god you guys are so
critical

%uh I thought it was a wonderful largely
really hard on us

critical all is actually really critical
data

I we don’t appreciate it I

now this is great when you’ve been on
one episode before I yes

on what number Shirley I I actually
don’t remember I wanna see it was

thirty-something your forty-something
how if it exactly a hundred

be cool I don’t think it was I’m going
to be four or after pat

after I believe really I thought it was
like 40s

6 I might be completely making that up

this is entirely on interesting but I am
gonna look it up

I’m good at it to make it seem like we
did this resort island 30 till

32c I was three hundred and three
episodes ago

yeah I know our it was a while I will
cite a key so long

to come back it’s just that you weren’t
in california and elsewhere

thank you so much for inviting me to
your beautiful

home thanks for being here my

just and now that you’re moving to
California soon probably right you can

be on the show a lot more

oh man I’m squatting in this and this
has I’m not leaving

and welcome you can stay with me anytime
I love him or anything

I’m I’m sorry wear them a manly

but yeah yeah we don’t care about the SR
yesterday came out anybody right now

yeah and Amir

by at just us doesn’t mean you in a mere
that’s it that’s it

and I think I love you Hannah averted
after many many

I get you Hannah Rachel say realize the
maker

I i cant frame those words okay and

we need the money will you don’t love me
I

if you add to that ABA to rate the kids

whose number two no my god lol I love at
least

in in an objective way fewer to rank
them in height oh and hey Dear Abby is

written into

Mike and reserve what old number Tuesday
$100,000 I think it’s not yet time I had

cuz you Micah

a solid and and I think Anna Sarah

this is great I mean I don’t know I’m
gonna edit my question who do you love

the most and then adjust your thoughtful
the quick response

well Jake might yeah

so who do you love the most yeah I

so you know you know how the show works
you wanna the family members that

listens to it correctly an idea I do
sometimes I have to turn it off I’m

gonna be honest

if it gets like this you Mike
uncomfortable for me

your least favorite thing two years to
curb I’m

om do I really have to say it yeah to

you not to sound like anything I’ll
involving

anal anything I will she’s like a

wireless IR yeah you as you in class 5a
this time the show

134 all in all

Monday I alliance but

is they’re all anal I

& Sons every episode cuz that on Monday
it’s always all in all Monday

we never get to Taco Tuesday where women
Wednesday yeah

it’s always all in all my day and as a
bonus Thursday

yet we’re talking about moremi: but
rather than anal podcast actually

now this is an advice show this is an
advise podcast

where Jake a knife receive emails people
who are confused

added impasse and in road in their life
is that in rhode

I don’t think that that’s okay well just
let it go

and I need they need our help not not
cross road %uh that slid across a road

yeah

impasse yeah process an impasse in a
crappy night in in rhode

and we do our best to offer our device

and sometimes it’s just us two and
sometimes we have you on the ship

sometimes we are my mama I

yeah I was we always have my mommy yeah

you cry a lot when she’s not here I
crown as and Imam

tonight could act I have the a lotta

when he doing on your look yeah I’m %um
wrestling

Denver microphone on your gut Takaya

where you’re like a bad adolescent who
misses modern

the open waters I think that in rhode is
actually

a phrase snowing and I’m road is it is a
phrase but as a daily but I think it

doesn’t I

in road is a sudden hostile incursion
and advance our penetration

up it both love the pop up you’ll

she but well in and I’m terror in the or
penetration of it at the expense of

someone or something

I’m your lawn used in plural I stand
corrected now your idea I’m not really a

perfect world right that I was Ron

I didn’t use it this is like when you
accidentally make a shot in pool and it

doesn’t count

I did mean impasse and crossword to
making inroads with someone is like

a positive thing by you wonder if not I
think I have right

yeah he really did I mean it’s like when
you play words with friends and you just

might yell out there and just like stick
something up in you know you think oh

it’s not a word and that his right leg
so exciting

well a lot on my intelligent has
accidentally being smart accidentally

smart that could be the near my
autobiography

I think that’s really good you gotta got
a hold on to that that’s like but humble

and also very self-centered

because I am saying that I’m smart but
I’m saying it accidental I think that’s

really pretty brilliant

yeah you seriously you have to write
that down towards it trademark it or

something at the very least this way or
that

recorded on this show I all right we
have

some questions that we want to get to
win it wean we’re seeking

your advice so you think you can
motherly advice mother and nice

yeah or just or just humanly advice it’s
good because we that we should add a

human on the show

because my mom the idea this is for you
i love u bitch

I required I

don’t already own the other another
superhuman they’re super white

super UK the procurement they’re not as
regular he was a super tight it’s

it used to be really lends and sit back
down you’re getting a myspace you’re

getting in my face and I don’t
appreciate it

your your space your face glow to put
you in your place

I need a lady’s name a lady’s name

okay I’m can I have a theme I’ll

out I can make it up I was one my
favorite movies

is forrest gump ok I just love that
movie so can it be

Jenny or Jenny nah

or use your name

yeah I did actually can’t yet I must say
no so yeah

veto on the agenda iPad nano character I

my dudes I just went on a date with the
guy who I met through some friends I

like a man that we have a lot in common
the conversation is good and he hasn’t

sent me any dick pics which is great

but he has no sex appeal during the day
to try to imagine kissing him at the end

of the day

but it was a no go should I go out with
him a couple more times to see what

happens or should I call it quits now

do you think physical attraction can
develop

overtime thank you love Jenni

so it is that we were just talking about
this I yeah we

absolutely recall I A do you recall I i
say on the topic

I a company honored or they’re not I
clearly remember what I said I am i

educated

other arm a USAID in what I Oakland
another the work well

eloquent and you were saying that I here
I’d like a copy of this podcast

everyone get think it will you not copy
I like my own personal copy

like you how my mother said I was
eloquent

admitted but not to your head at with a
aliquot an answer their questions right

but not in a general way

can you answer that question you were
quite eloquently said that wouldn’t you

say

that was in tune in line with our
usually answer questions

eloquently assured you’re leaving
eloquent

elegant if you’re leaving her absolutely
letter answer the question don’t is say

do you think this and this and she says
yes or no

I think he’s not gonna let me reading in
red I and now

I I think the takeaway

said was that passion really matter to
you a lot

and sexual attraction was really hugely
important to you

and we were talking about one of your
siblings who will remain nameless who

was feeling that

if she liked a person well enough when I
said the gender so that

meaner inserted serial no Micah I

you a little bit you uses one bob who
live in a row let let

your own answer the question Obama okay

side or the other that’s that’s fine I
want to wake you up around the city are

interrupting

I know yeah and I would I cover gillette
a he can’t

he can stop in South understandable arm

I think wat u your siblings said was
that

overtime you could become attracted
someone sort of like

give a person and chance and I kinda
agreed with that

however after listening to this

I think if this person was on a date
couldn’t even imagine kissing

its to kill it was yeah if it was that
much of a flatline

I think it’s really hard to get a spark
from that

I mean that’s just yeah one other its to
its up to go from Absolute Zero after

date 12 something

wanna things whenever a stereotype
between men and women

that i think is somewhat true I would

I would that reminds smarter yeah that
due to a good

I when a guy needs a girly

instantly think hot or not and when a
girl meet a guy that doesn’t even like

come into their purview until at least a
little while longer until they’re like

turned on by their personality and the
like oh this guy is actually pretty cool

let me think if he is attractive till
and whereas

with guys it’s like oh hi nice to meet
you would like a fucker care for

creating a good factor just instantly

would you say that’s true or is it too

narrow-minded and Paul’s I think
everybody is different for instance

I meet a girl and I think I fucker
instantly

there’s no would I yet it’s just and a
matching the scenario in which I would

a positive outcome from like this goes
kind of attractive to like I have three

steps have whiskey and I’m imagining her

in a wedding veil yeah and I’m like i’ll
carry her and spend the rest of my life

with this

this one so that’s your thing there is
some girls that are like that some guys

there

well my I my position

which I guess eighth stated eloquently I
didn’t really recall

at Lambert it’s like I guess I was I
guess I was really lol

with this whole thing as well
thought-out and left there was a letter

a I think everybody is different
everybody waited

differently so for me personally it
means a lot to have

physical attraction that’s the first
thing I’m thinking about

similar to your stereotypic guy all guys
are thinking about this year

and girls are less so I think there are
girls that

well there are exceptions to the rule
but I’d say by majority most guys here

at that most yesterday

even at like within you were stereotype
a or within

I wanna keep calling stereotype within
your generality

generally laid Yahoo do you guys

do this I think some guys do it more
there’s definitely

the a spectrum the air like this girls
attractive for this cause unattractive

but

even having that but you’re not writing
them off there are some guys to be at

this girls

not attractive so I’d only one listen to
what they have to say

moving on right and what we’re saying
about

my sister or brother who is a

in this situation in this scenario like
he or she

doesn’t work quite that same way and now
you’re mine makin

they can find themselves attracted to
the personality

overtime and thus attractive to
attracted to the person

but I think this email to come from a
guy and I think a guy would go out on

bail

at this girls I’m totally unattractive
should I keep going out with their

depends how desperate you are there to
like who knows how many dates the

school’s been on that didn’t work out

and she’s finally gone out with a dude
who is not a total piece of shit

yeah I like this ’cause been on a date
dates with a hundred dudes who

all suck and this guy doesn’t suck

but he’s not great and she’s like it’s
like being on house hunt for a year

and everything a place you see is
infested with

cockroaches its dilapidated and falling
down you finally see a place that has

a sturdy four walls n isn’t infested
with thus pastors

but nearly I like my stuff in here let’s
ride not falling down

well was didn’t she you says the some
kind of parameter

he hadn’t sent her a dick pic yeah it’s
a very well as

like you have at seven large super lover
I i mean

here but yeah that’s that’s how bad men
are that if you don’t send a dick pic

you are too many

automatically catapulted to the top well
that’s so this like is are we doing a

disservice to be like

the hey this guy did then you a dick pic
go for it like we should

all girls should have a bar that said
way above a dick pic or no dick

right I think not being able to imagine
even

kissing someone that I mean I don’t know
that would be problematic all had with

your first day with dad I was like

arrow 13 celebs and he was like 29

yeah cradle robber yeah I know it has
turned into a regular Robert

doc lawyer he believes the dry yeah I
might that he is a he

yet these in a statement accessory
that’s exactly right he’s as a yes vote

chaser I deep death and taxes that so

all the certainties my type lol say a

but he is so beloved integrity play it
safe honey play it boring

I well

I mean can I call playing anything eaten

getting back to the question mister I

actually now wat up spending data
records in Dublin at left

night yeah if there is anything to
support near you

0 run our own baby I

you owe me a California any arm actually

I think the first time we kissed it was
I I don’t know we were friends for such

a long time

and I kind of didn’t know what to expect
and the kiss my better than

I expect a

I have to stack that’s pretty cool a
French kiss

yeah the turn into whens into a more
passionate

yes let its this doesn’t really apply to
this woman situation now is Jason and

his

so there is no hands ambiguity about
friend that’s right

ends I agree I agree he’s the guy is in
it for

he wants romance he once that in

I don’t know I would say at the most try
one more day

and yeah the second day yeah and if

and if you don’t find yourself attracted
to me these misguided you say an

actually be in let’s just be friends

buddies the give the reason I don’t know
if I’m attracted to you in LA

no i think you can be definitive without
giving a reason unless they ask for you

to say

and I don’t see this going anywhere but
it is really nice to me

why be friends what don’t I have yet
like it takes a special kind of person

say that and I’m not good at all
following ways: is actual

is that we broke up with me and I’ll
probably just be like okay like I don’t

know I know why I was rejected but then
are you getting any better

but you would actually am fine I but I
know my flaws in up that like if I got

broken up with the idea like

00 is probably one of these three things
yet three major things that are bad with

that I’ve been I know of myself yeah

have would you say they are just right
off the bat that I am

untrustworthy of course I’m

I luv yeah and um

I don’t know I don’t really know the
third thing with those are the big to

I guess like it so we broke up with me
it would be because they

didn’t trust me and they thought I would
cheat on them or something yeah

or I A did cheat on them they found yeah

or he just became disinterested

yeah I started pulling away and they
trade yeah

distance but a mere you would actually
ask someone

if they said no I just don’t think it’s
working out that’s a good question

I

I think I would be cowed be more curious
I i’m I’m pretty good at taking

constructive criticism or just any
criticism like I have

I’ve years ago doing internet comedy
have left me with

skin so thick that you can’t really
offend me too much

and then when I’ve I’ve had like bad
news delivered to the FBI

ok I don’t like breakdown in like okay
that’s interesting me synthesize that

ignore it cuz this bitch is probably
wrong yeah it’s sort of a blessing you

have like a high a

I hope in Europe itself sounds like

I was a bad thing is there’s somebody
but Lake you don’t have a low sense of

self-worth

I have a high self-esteem yeah yeah yet
seriously confident yes of nowhere

and I think that’s a good thing so
things don’t erode it but yeah

that external stop I i definitely I’m
not that way I am really sensitive

like if someone says something even
mildly critical I just

you know my count there are thinking
that we have to write why assume their

right to it even a compliment to how did
that with without a backhanded

compliment

and I do that I’m here now as the right
now you know my eyes look tired

or does it usually have added yeah yeah
I i do that it’s a very it’s a terrible

thing so I

give you so much credit that’s awesome I
don’t know how it happened now because I

was

I in two years with internet comedy
maybe

I mean that yesterday it I I think what
do you read the comments when people

comment like on your videos and stuff
sometimes not all of them

I’ve never looked Atacama I’ll really

never I’m looked at your comments %uh
that’s nice on

but then if it’s a negative comment I
get really upset and then a Sao

look at anymore not with that had a way
about me mama you have that you have to

take the source though

like effect if it comes from I read it
like it’s a smart person telling me

interesting critique about a certain
thing if it comes from you too that the

equipment

equivalent of a seven year old dirty
idiot

who runs up to me on the street and
yells you’re not fighting and then ran

away and I like the way I hit by a car

yeah whatever it was the night I
wouldn’t actually synthesize and take

that information and

see after you have to understand the
source that chair

yeah I want you have to understand sure
that have to do anything

but OJ holy shakes January

day say the word now pull the plug I got
at the podcast of

figure it out but I at all in that
little square

you’re planning on a show I lines square
shoe

so you say give me one much and I’m are
you can call one more day and then

kind of but it’s not looking good to me
yeah

that’s just how I’m feeling the
prognosis is doubtful yet not out

oh yeah separately well more day as well
a

I’ll switch it up and say just move on.
find someone that does turn you on

what’s better for going out with someone
who’s

like this great personality unattractive
or really

attractive idiot am

interesting I think it to be she has to
look

into our heart and see see the summer
for experiences and what she wants right

now

decision have fun and not like be that
serious with somebody then

sexy D it will be added an enjoyable
time her she been with too many sexy

idiots and they’ve let her astray and

she doesn’t feel like she’s emotionally
connected with anybody she wants a smart

ago

yeah so it depends on what you want
right now yeah I mean she was saying

good things about his personality

by I think she’s sounds like she’s
looking for the whole package

she’s looking for both yeah can you let
a guy suck whole package

yeah some guys do I mean I know I would
rather go out with the guy who wasn’t

conventionally attractive

I don’t really like you rather live with
anybody that Chad

a cry who are you into it like we’ll
figure this out

yeah what okay I would rather go out
with an

news I had anybody is so perfect for me
he really is I know

I know you have a very low opinion if
your dad

but I don’t have an easier I

lol have a divided I do I view my dad is
a good man

he s is good you thank you well okay

you have any money managers get to my
mother and

he provides do not provide he provides
is a good many make that money

in nationally one security I

but is also very nice thoughtful Jens
Martin years Ridge

you’re right crowd saying aside from the
money thing

he it’s a good one to a fun person to
have around

he’s really cute likey he lights up the
room when he walks yeah absolutely does

know that they have a really interesting
I

but he helped them signed clients and
make money I think that’s definitely a

good value

good at about thinking about value as
their

mine a tape adapter is a very literal K

take years yeah I’m happy dads rich

would you rather have a dad or let’s say
a duffel bag shaped like your dad filled

with cash

digital that says my caddie shaped like
a double I

it it yeah that the backpack is about
the cylinder

live with their dad wasn’t an absurd

he was a batter like a was pack

the cactus or something I don’t know a
pumpkin patch

your thing then my it but

do that is Esquire’s he’s a gourd a

well me n I don’t I don’t think I heard
that when I gotta go find it

a night out amenities all that after
this broadcast without very handsome

here strapping little lawyer man I

speaking a dad got a question about
fathers

well yeah ever question a name other

male from with help from a fourth-floor
ramp

I I okay how about we 10 it and now I

exists you got my legs hurt

forrest was slow you he was loaned me is
a lovable idiot

happy goofball and who play forest

what happen again Tom Hanks yeah Miami
heard about them

I’m and it was big in that movie and yet
all I was ordered

fell off the map yeah like I would have
rather old nice

very witty well yeah

very good times a day right I that as
well

I get with get an AQ

I’m a boy of nineteen in a sticky
situation when I friends who is a girl

talks and praises her father way too
much

her mother’s an alcoholic which is by
the reason she loves and admires her

father too much so much and I respect
that but

she talks about her father and his job
all the fucking time

to this day I do not know what her dad
works with

but the thing she has told me about him
are there’s a new painting of him in an

art museum in new york

he danced ballet at an elite level he is
an excellent lawyer

he’s been a taxi driver he works with
organizing charity organizations

he has stopped a civil war and China and
was thanked by the president

he’s been invited to the world’s best
restaurant twice

the list is long but here’s the real
search people in our class are beginning

to get really annoyed at her for talking
about her father all this time they

don’t really believe a single thing she
says

and is generally affects her and my
reputation

I’ve met her father and does not believe
and I do not believe many the story she

tells but I feel like she needs

to have a super hero dad because I’m an
alcoholic piece a shit mom she has

but on the other hand she doesn’t know
why people are shutting out this makes

her very sad

I could tell her to stop talking about
her dad so much but I’m afraid what this

would do to her

would it make her sad what should I do
thanks love Lieutenant Dan

well had it’s that does that

is that a female or no the Met know that
I asked a question and I

that’s a really complicated JK you can
wrap your head around

a child who respects and reveres his
father so much

I yeah it’s funny i’ve the opposite
party and

which is you can’t stop talking about be
on

I

did he say a lot has been invited to the
world’s best restaurant wise my mom

my mom cooks the world’s best in about
was that restaurant our house

her you never manipulated love mom I

the cold pasta the leftover chicken the
bright and airy burgers and veggie

burgers don’t forget their

rule it’s hard to feed eight kids aidid
and I

you cannot do it well be completely I
will say

dinner at our house was always plant it
was planned

that’s wrong and that’s being kind of
have that taste yeah I like the hardware

channel one color

yeah know you are you’re a good cook nah
I’m not how is I can’t pretend to be an

admirable Kirk everything he made was
bad and

and the best who ever had was mediocre
seen as grab

I I’m not even gonna take exception do
it it’s good so I could reduce the

swelling is not

you not getting any peace the views were
I S everything was delicious every

you that your pizza I’m mainly heat suck
and cookies and now here yeah I air

cookies are great Italian at

that’s a are you kidding me your fucking
meatloaf love I

your meatloaf was in say looking cute in
saying

know that’s a thank you you were so bad
but you gotta understand like I have you

ever had me laughing and

anyone else’s house I would never know
if anybody else that is nothing like

mine and it’s not because I was gonna
sit

no mines months but it was made with
crackers and

and data meet yeah

crackers shoot up with Alltel I didn’t
know how old you

yeah

the 00 Amir that’s my seagrams wasn’t my
eats

are you talking about I you’re eating a
requisite mama be raising eyebrows after

a while

its which represent what Bobcats ketchup
honey that’s it

at with no there was any and every

somehow there was an egg I saw you
either the negative I say anything just

the but have a hamburger yesterday in
saying this meatloaf

the list is this it Nazarian

I loved editors love with this person I

a personal problem my yeah I mean that’s

that’s actually really complex problem I
feel really sorry for

but Guyana might not be as open as
possible like if someone smells tell ’em

they smell

it hurts for a little while but it’s
helpful in the long term

if not more than it sounds like this guy
is take is

projecting his problem a little bit ly
can only assume the truth is what this

person’s rewrite

that’s fair but I i later delve a little
deeper I know you like

you’re all service I’m cut I like a
lagger anyway I like to create a story

yeah

I’m not I like to create an equation a
problem that can be solved with one

simple

that advice and its tell the truth boom
next we’re on to the next one

I don’t live the truth always works not
like that I think you got to get to the

root of the problem which is

this may really starting to you the girl
doesn’t respect her mother

the girl she would not respect her
father’s that is creating

this this fitment

love her imagination yeah it doesn’t
sound real

and you couldn’t possibly be this person
yellow believe there is some sort of

psychological thing going on where she
is

the creating a mythical father that so
good that she doesn’t have to

address her faulty mom but what I did
were see what he’s doing is he is

shutting her down

and being annoyed and like never getting
is getting a little pieces of

information like that

the bullet points though this is what I
know of her father right now

yada yada yada yeah he should sit down
with their

and be like Civil War China her tell me
more

it I’d like to talk to your father about
this what I need is embraced this and by

no

everything there is to know about this
girl’s dad it will take you forever

it’s only an autobiography in and then
you’ll be done

she’ll feel like she expelled everything
for it actually might be a force Cup

like all my dad played ping pong in the
Olympics and also with the football

player in Alabama is also in vietnam
yasser radiation

yeah thats long story short I fucked up
on the name

just a question however I think it’s
pretty

car as we might have to go that next I

to actually hit if anything as a good
name could this question came from

somebody who knew forest

sorry I want the netbook a curve that
though

letter to request that he met her father

I almost thought that it was going to be
one of those things where she talked

about this guy

and no he never materializes was in
because he wasn’t really there cuz I had

friends in high school who had
boyfriends and then the boyfriends they

were always supposed to come down and
you know

meet them somewhere but then the cats it
core

you know it was always but not as
clearly had girlfriends in California

for sure yeah I’m lied about having

printer from all my friends kid like
girls from Canada California

that an actual thing you did yeah like
in during sleepovers all the guys would

just talk about their girlfriends they
had from other states that true

yeah mom and I don’t know every bit as
upper me and my friends did that how old

were you

I had 28 yeah

you actually did have a girlfriend in
Calif the time that’s why Iowa City

mental health that’s funny they’re lying
about that

%uh that is and is just who wanted to
talk about a really like

relationships and yet and Saxon

like yeah yet another et cetera

and bed that makes sense so what he say
to this lady

I I think that he should be forthright

I think that its surrounding their
relationship to have

I’m the guys start bomb Lieutenant Dan

start going to be you know annoyed by it
and also sounds like she’s

I’m not got at great relationship with
kids at school

so mom I mean my feeling would be

it’s causing light damage in the truth
past come out

yeah rather yeah I like he could be
playfully alright let’s talk about

something else

the end to guide it to heal a positive
in graduation as reaction

yes I getting to the root of the issue
that yeah but I feel a sweeping the weed

to the left and right now on a

pull it out shred it drank it

shit how eat it %uh

payette flushed it down the toilet it’s
at ASID

soon it started out you wanna either we
yeah shit

I I was I was there up to the Polish

that he does like what blessed aa but I
mean do you see this relationship

going anywhere do you think this girl is
gonna be psychologically healthy enough

to

continue what doesn’t and his friend
though the boyfriend girlfriend or

anything

oh okay just a female friend okay

so yeah as the kindness to her then yeah
I would

I would be are you can leave her be and
then she’ll just gradually

get washed away motor away to reveal

you’re talking about are funny

he was actually an Italian 11 ish

and say on a bus is not talking about
her dad

yeah act and another but he did with he
added me at beehive

in the group honey for life my dad was a
B you know

I the buzz around dad wasn’t my dad was
a BS yeah he had his own honey and also

my dad was a shot on net

yeah those jobs now there was a bee shot
I

he is a caer the shade

yeah I don’t quite understand why I but
nobody said anything

up to now though it sounds like she’s
been kinda pathologically line her way

through this for a while and yeah

know we are ever asked to wrap our heads
around it because that we can imagine

a a decent father figure community

I like well maybe amounts that as it is

father figure yeah made will my
grandfather’s

he was he was a he was a good man

is a good neither I feel yeah

get to conduct I that again is a very
compact

complex issue now he be was a typical
like

nineteen sixties dad the if they didn’t
get to impart

yeah ass alert dad good yeah other I
think all

yeah thats chair lies like everybody but
his its sweet as you get old

yeah measure really harder and harder
next year

heads to New Year lookup like a ripe on
right

piece of fruit you’ll get mushy and soft
by the N button

%uh that’s a really good analogy looking
at all your emotions after whole life

very

I ardent Knighton I don’t think I think
it they say they’re

you either get motion softer you like
shrivel and get better

and I’ll be thinkin I’m just I was mushy
and soft to begin with and I’ll just

continue

machines after matsch’s 2 a.m. but if
you love you baby

the VT baby but the Americas let’s take
a break

real quick but thank his sponsors and
we’ll come back maybe answer one more

question

that sound good very cool an thank you
again to me

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flash Jake thanks my family more timely
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out what else Pamir do like taxes now

how’d you like to never do that again
what you

what’s going on man Tax Act dot com

house you do you think yeah he was never
do it again not an option yet this is

the

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for free today attacks acted dot com
slash you that’s why I owe you

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got this you can do it and they guide
you every step of the way you can start

anywhere finish a tie me to a computer
your tablet your phone that’s gonna call

you can do your taxes on your phone
ridiculous the future is now

and he likes lebanon tender doing taxes
the trade pact mode

it’s a company that acts differently
because it follows

a coat and integrity simplicity and most
of all

values so if you value simplicity and
integrity and you need to do your taxes

we highly recommend I valued Tegrity as
you should

I’m actually integrated myself at that
very much tho I’m

I’m highly on the integral part so if
you need to do your own taxes everybody

needs to do taxes if you made money this
year I i’m sorry i apologize

you have to help year taxes go to
everything

public school yet education defense I
bet a lot of it goes to the army

yeah you know send a salami dear boys in
the army

they no longer need salami they just
need cash now they have any tax dollars

for drone yeah go we talk about that for
a sec get on right now if you’d like to

the earth

okay let’s do that I love

your ads I have to tell you this this is
perfect for when her back

keep talking I will do that perhaps

the sale era back now yeah

live at I love the way you guys deliver

adds there it’s so sincere and i mean
the thing is

because we don’t have cable at home in
you know this chick we don’t watch

regular

television with add you missed the ads I
miss the ads

I do in a weird way but when I hear

your ads I don’t know I’m just reminded

everything I love about advertising the
sincerity that just this kind of like I

said this clip

to whoever sponsored is up it’s a good
idea

and I think you guys have great delivery
like I would at that one point

our dog passed away can even bring my so
I say the word I

welly when DAILY GUIDE way own well

I ambushed by got into a minute to tell
you this way honey

but lowered I overpowered

but there was that the you were there
was there was something that you were so

no one fucking called me

own chick I’m so sorry there to wear and
at any time

I’m sorry it is email last night in

Tao I can I say are you its

indefensible was their servers I’m not

yeah very small cremation just the
family

just the immediate African baby always
been nuclear family

I I think you went to our last dogs
death

Bob yeah I was not there oh that’s right
you rich

you wouldn’t go you’re the only one in
my cracked I to work that day

now I think matter I could not bring
herself to a it isn’t

bob was euthanized in Jake wouldn’t have
sold it I know %um

now the sooner than high school where
you had a dog when I met you guys

yes that was now a only less Nelly I
know that I’d

when did that happen nobody fine arts
about now he died on Christmas Day

this this Christmas yeah your home your

yeah for the seven recently yes it
happened recently it didn’t happen

it happened on Christie that I did I do
love you in New York

yeah yeah but it happened on christmas
morning

1 o’clock and they were preparing to
euthanize her and she actually just died

on her on thats can have switches it’s
kind of a beautiful thing

save the needle last like I’m I’m fine
I’m glad

I’m going and she juni ready within the
dog where a yes to Gordon who is the dog

whisper

the coolest man in the world had to
restart from at an end up here

I don’t know %uh the at you say that lol
yeah I wanted to buy

you had some are the box art box and I
was like

I’m getting this I’m totally getting
this and it was because a you did you

get very personal ads and dad plays with
the two toys

yeah I’m getting a little about when I
landed over

well that’s one of the things that
people like about podcast at is one it’s

like

it’s sort of like the old school TV
approach for its like

we’re gonna stop for men and have the
actual people who are doing the show

talk to you guys about

toothpaste said whatever yeah her me
Andy’s which I had never heard before

but now I know what they are

I think they’re really cool I’ve washed
several pairs a.m.

yet and it helps that we actually like a
you the majority of this stuff

yeah sometimes we do have to lie K and

i knows about which one they I every I
can never know you guys just answer

sincere that I actually would be shocked
to find out that you

where not being completely truthful
realize Adams I’m

surprised I

that’s right a but the majority the
stuff we’ve been fortunate we’ve either

use before or they senator senate so
great that we don’t mind raving about it

on our show

strip well that nature box I’ve Ian my
share that the an HR boxes great shot at

our house

me on these is great everything whenever
another great yeah I am

what else to be on talk about mmm did
you have anything you want to mention or

plug power

I now yeah I’ll mention or plugs don’t
think that sought out at

I wrote a novel light I did

her a novel and what have you done with
your life where the hell

whether letter much an israeli

I ended I know it’s gonna be a long shot
at the title in are you

is it

its actually called disappear home it’s
a young adult novel

its power declined you have not yet a
lot survive young adults

yet why I mean its it’s like actually I
think it’s one of those young adult

novels like gum Fault in Our Stars or

Hunger Games even although not at all
that

same genres 100 me again yeah at
Raintree and that when its nominal

that usually 13 to 17 and I would say
this ass is pretty

appropriate was the publisher you talk
to our Albert Whitman

at for there in Chicago and what’s the
name in the book again I’m

disappear home and that actually is a
title that they

are my editor gave the book arm my
original title was flower children

because it’s about damn a happy family
back in nineteen seventy

who I’m have to escape this really
depraved

commune so years yeah there’s a little
its it’s a little bit dark but

as I’d like the title disappear home
yeah it’s it’s a more harmonious

it is very ominous I mean they have to
they have to get outta there

and so is it available east or writing
has I’m no its

actually it’s available you can
pre-order it does not available sign in

but not a lot at the bail

any Ryobi it actually I believe such an
ass yeah I got into this is my home and

sickly you’re completely right

your child rather you know i pre-ordered
it he’d thank you

you can join Amazon to comment pre-order
i pre-ordered the hard cap hardcover

copy

10 yet not even a hook why and how that

the amazon has that rank you see that
sales rank: yeah

and it doesn’t take a lot boosted up to
boost it up see if we can if we can push

the needle right here if we can move
some units that’ll be a great degree lol

that was another thing I hope

I think that the house is writing a
positive review yeah I

I know that their good reads Road area
someone

rotary review and I know it got I think
out of

5 stars it got four how much I think for
good reads is good i mean that sounds

kind of like

okay I gotta be indicted on the hard
part about rising pretty much as good as

it gets work for 25 years I was as good
as it gets

love like a masterpiece is OK by I’d
like to talk to the lake

I think my mother wrote Catcher in the
Rye meets Lolita

mishap yeah

scarface I maybe that’s why she gotta

for third movie siege at the crash I

with a you’re out here working on that
like arm no I’m working on my third

novel holding sheesh

so this number to disappear no I’m your
number two

is disappear home number one arm was

its it’s called airstream no hand out
yet and that’s not out yet that still

in the key is your number two novels
gonna come out first right

so what does this appear kinda like kill
a mockingbird actually right like the

whole are her pearly

is everything okay thanks right exactly
so when does disappear home I

March 15 who as soon it soon it’s like a
month

and you can pre-order it now may be
ordered on Amazon years I will answer no

bar

course they said the local your local
bookshop you can go in and just ask for

it there

I want to support that rambutan and then
well as the other mega corp that’s

killing eight miles an hour later I read

I read my mom’s book on an airplane when
I was in my my way

home for Christmas last year and I had
cried since high school at the

and I bawled my eyes out are old salt
lake

full line not even just like tears on my
face

britt like the on my lap breathing from
water rinse

so last week so with you that there’s
really good that is the nicest thing

Eve every step that you made me cry I

do you made me so Sahoo

that’s how bad the book was I’m like I
don’t know how to confront her when I

land

and I started ballin as the Pergo when I
do I had to

I to disappear home order at your home

yeah read a review feet if you think
it’s great

yeah an banks for your support and have
known as tech has take this people

right hash no it doesn’t sound like my
mom was like I’m has tags are good they

boost

the they boost the marketing is like no

I can I don’t know how hash tags or I’m
a green light disappear hell maybe you

can have a TV show before we do

not a good idea a know you guys you guys
are gone somewhere I’m telling you

there’s a real shortage up fine

fine comedy these nineties yes is gonna
pick up pressure

yeah they better they better are you
gonna keep tweeting

oh my god I am they don’t that on their
hands huh I

to answer one more question were running
on time but i wanna get to it because

K going your devices sage yeah giving us
one another for

now that’s a bad event Twitter account
are

other tumbler oh I am yeah I have a blog
it slowly blogged at tumbler dot com

yeah I’m i right every day and

I am love book I love that kinda short
format

yeah come for the pictures I J can stay
for the good writing

yeah and there are pictures and Jake do
you want to do yeah

actually last week yeah speaking of nude
pics

that the real killer lol you

buried another guy a another guy’s name
I’m

okay we didn’t use force last time so
let’s do forest

run Forrest go forest I mean you already
wrote forest

hey Jake and Amir so I’m in high school
and I’m the guy who makes films for my

school’s assemblies and stuff

Luna I was given the job making a promo
video for my school spirit week I had

this dope idea involving a male teacher
walking in slow mo through the hallway

anyway when the video played at the
assembly everyone started laughing at

one part of the video

as it turns out there was a shot in the
video that was completely zoned in on my

teachers crotch

as he was walking not only that but
apparently his bulging dick was clearly

swaying in this shot

I have noticed this as it was supposed
to be showing his hands moving

everyone started making fun to me for in
the teachers were fucking pissed

at me for displaying the penis one of
the teachers

anyway the principal emailed me and
asked me to edit that shot outer the

video for the middle school assembly
next week

I haven’t replied but I really don’t
think I should have to do it

the pro a film is my vision with or
without the dick shot

and I don’t think the school should be
able to limit that vision

what do you guys think I should do thank
you

4s I I’m sorry to

I’m I’m sure it was an earnest question
I’m

it I he you should add it out you can
add it now

your you work tonight I already employed
artist and you cannot compromise

I I mean it’s true I did work in a
school

I was in middle school and an a high
school teacher but

it it sounds like it was a promo

me it how how much a.m.

a big artistry with in the did a shot I
was a 60 percent how is it really wasn’t

boldly

yeah they went from being a mistake a
letter by actually do this is my visit

I B it was supposed to be a Behance

yeah

don’t you shift focus and show his hands
swaying

I think yeah you’re not a you’re not I
mean it’s nice that you make the video

but but your arts not unimpeachable yet

now have an early on that right is due
is school as high school a dictatorship

arm whatever whatever the principal says
goes

all little bit a little bit is there and
I sent the checks and balances

give parents get its a I’m I was in an
independent school

in a private school in sometimes parents
didn’t get his day

and that’s a that’s because it’s their
money exactly so it’s a little bit

different I think them public school and
the public will take

ike I say this and you have to either do
it or leave that set

as a dictatorship yeah yeah I would say
that’s that’s pretty much the way it is

Jake was in public school and then I’m
he couldn’t

you just wouldn’t wouldn’t fall into a
controller who

okay how many failed coups did you have
I had a clue yeah I had a coup

commuted nombre have eluded to yeah

I I mean acute need there was an
uprising

that I it any I think several protests

I did actually but I don’t expect that a
protest you did

you told us that with the deal no
homework arm

I just got everything go to class
lingers and you get other people to

stand outside with %um

in like picket then really impact then
the idea that a homosexual teacher fired

I there’s this thing that we do coffee
nature’s classroom

where all the sixth grade class would go
to a camp for a week

and we would like take classes play
sport is like camp with your

with you not only very kinda you
protested that

know it baby we’re the first they don’t
every single year

all through like my kindergarten up
through six trillion every eight

everybody had it like

at six great when we’re looking forward
to it and

that year they said there’s not be
religious classroom yeah so

I was very upset Niigata budget my
friends to not go to school to pick

the protest we had signs and we stayed
out front for like an hour before the

principal came out

products in give us a late that they
made us go to class

ed a year after I left without it that
that principle have been stealing money

from the school

and make you that is complete and that’s
why they can afford nature’s classroom

I would not be surprised because they
said there was enough money in the

school Treasury

and she had been siphoning funds that’s
exactly true

home share yeah I was in the right your
own whistle-blower

I and had Los Angeles self entitlement
carries with yeah that’s what brought on

the new to euthanize

together Bell you like widely at the
youth

did she steal money though and yes it
now you know really knowing

mmm never again about every protest led

to some sort of in both the real savers
is seek your first 3-pointer yeah and

they like you could play basketball is
every other time that’s what they say

about that reporters you wanting

make have them make their first one cuz
then it’s like you know they’re gonna

miss the next seven

line to stay that is interesting yeah I
forgot about that that is a really

that’s a very good memory

a really was my people arm really
respect a lot of parents really

respected you

still do so unfortunately kid you gotta
change the video

yeah yeah just get and as in I mean the
word bulging is also a little bit

suspicious

I mean better teacher doesn’t appreciate
it order or does a

with video already show to Olive your
peers in the up like

you relief on a flight to leave it in
for the middle school them to you

don’t get it just edited out that is a
good

is a good origin story for porn director
I

they wouldn’t let me show my Bold I I

cool we’re all in agreement there
anything else you want to say before we

you had to leave us for another
hundred-and-some odd episode loan

oh my god I love you guys I love you
guys and you guys deserve to have

the best show and not only TBS but

anyen every network oh my god monitoring
network TV show you should be I have

that guys to be there for a long time

I actually stage a coup d’etat and I’m
not constantly just yet and you’re the

top networks

you know actually Jake that gives me an
idea

you got any cardboard loop we can

US yeah I

yet I also don’t have any cardboard tell
you

of questionable and I plotters from

and if you ask him questions that you
want us to tackle

a or your own theme song submission send
those to a fire you show at gmail dot

com

the event thumbnail art for the podcast
we’re accepting those as well we we need

you are any free help we can get at this
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is a fiery show at gmail dot com

we start and close every episode with an
original theme song so this is close to

200 fifty-some-odd theme songs

the opening windows by Grand Master
Keaton is less on by so many

somebody named Andrew Carey sounds fun
right guys

it does thanks again the high grass love
you

by the game on our

do

on

delusion

the

time

James

June

this

I

mom change

pan

I’m

G

nine

1

yes

done

Jan

good beanie

do

done

do

do

G

this

a

to

do

everybody I don’t know if you’ve heard
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