Episode 141: Chivalry (w/Ben Schwartz!)


Comedian/Actor/Friend Ben Schwartz joins us to discuss courtship and comedy.

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because ban was on it things got real
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you up




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hurry for I that hill

thousand missing you saying the chorus
those unbelievable who is responsible

for that Thomas middle that’s

know who have made it better I would be
amazing I

done it’s been 12 hours on a punk pop
punk remix have your son

Alex Sexton Alex action that was amazing
yeah i’m just reading this email works

is my sister-in-law

here is there’s a stronger has that way
I got rather and yeah

struck red stripe users a redshirt nazar
laga ripe dot com

what struck techno it and he it’s a good
money transfer existence if you want to

set up an online store you can just use
stripe and then you can

they can get the not actually what they
say I because Liz the letterhead

advertise that they pay just

event yeah they did now I infantry nah

actually want to wear tomorrow yet and
did you remember saying that sounds a

little that is and I mean when it was
happening is that is at me

yeah I remember seeing it yet remember
one time after show

middle digit like everybody sing that
song dream and other oh what songs like

beginning I below you know

is like you know she was with another
all why God made me laugh so hard

is for you it’s a small part of your
life but %uh bono

come and talk about also ever occurs in
the second time we did it

arm it stuck with me for a very long
time and also be recovered thing

saying it her with militia I would urge
a militant Schwartz

what is that based on it’s based on
household item ensure no year

and it’s all that up song law for
improper than after general take

pictures with whoever needs a ever wants
to pick whoever needs ever heard earlier

that the river really new just the ones

we look around the room and see who
really needs a hug at any time after the

village where shows there is one person

not you know like coded at Brady wanna

engine light I wanna be

yeah ok and the like that doesn’t I
don’t know IRAs

that banks nobel’s I no at the second
time we sang on the spot gathering all

the bills

and Ben Schwartz thanks for joining us

thank you for having me name but was an

rather than know your name what is there
I don’t even know

by Marty what’s his name %uh hey come on

fun with a funny yeah do for whatever
reason it is not good to me

by the way we have a guitar we have jake
we have you and I

only a share with into a beginning or
end theme song will do and one

that think gothic is rated R premiers
good watching Jake strum those three

spectrum that you’re better get tired
then I am and you’re better stick me I’m

absolutely not very good how dare you to
tell a laggard

so you Hewlett Packard behind your back

but black but I heard

yeah Ania

Anna the he the dad dunno

over not as yeah iPad’s a hit and
they’re dead up

who dare to not have you ever tried to
sing one song

melody with the other son can hear
everything sample please a

some a give me something to the

tune-up shows up in the middle its hah
okay a

she wants to be and the

it it all with a a

ideo so yeah up man


yeah good the why is that the sonnets
that same road got it

through I Cup but is it I got my love

I’ll I got my mom there

on you good it bigger venue where it’s
at I


out so others saying in your lyrics the

but just six words the I’m gonna sing O

well %uh over and over

and %ah and over and over to do it

that’s right they do it to do it to do

to do it right chai data mare

I this is a fire you the only advice
podcast on the Internet has to buy us

Amir I’m Jake amend me never

and together where antacid i knt

a positively not to do so I and that’s
that I can’t for the life of me

understand why you did that

I did went for a one-timer this I think
I am

yesterday did the first-ever test show
for the Late Late Show with James Corden

okay it’s always been aghast I guess
there’s the two guests

and there of what does this come out as
sometime in March

manner my I i cant talk to disguise a
user’s better use in touch on a comment

have got shut up

like it’s not a huge has disturbed I

there is a moment in it were someone
asked me a question as a joke

I’ll it was very funny where they go
like known as a question

%uh is in now in 1492 mess but a mere
did %um very specific history question

really made me laugh and then I answered
it for two and a half minutes to pick up

a says no

gibber edge committed so hard at my hope
is that

if you don’t know much about history you
think that everything I said was true

right but wasn’t but I like committed so
hard and took up wage much time

know you as a tester with butter with so
far within 14 any tier Mesopotamia

those two things seem like they’re tens
of thousands of years apart by the

probably are messed with him I think was
abusive it but I remember for next year

being there also

it was run out leaders said everything
you’ve ever learned in his new

I went and I went crazy ordinary during
the worthy to be a course

in the guild that area are a take you
what he likes and dislikes

I but what’s your biggest like what’s
your biggest dislike

when you meet someone if they do this
like weird weapons a tree snapped arm

acquit yours when I meet somebody not
meet somebody with that thing that’ll be

an immediate right of guy or girl for

personal injury I can tell when people
don’t listen

like they’re looking at their phone out

be on our I just for anybody in general

you know who I are thoughtful you know I

that’s pretty much it what about

message will now meets I USA in a messy
right now I’m very clean

but I would like reject somebody as a
friend if they’re messy

well as late as a mate our where he
thought I had as a guy or a girl like

from the gulf that this is so annoying
to me

and I’m like I can handle a messy mate
but so funny to hear from Australia

but um not my question is as follows:

you already ask you a question never
have a follow-up is a fine

yet a two-parter course arm is there
somebody in your life to name names


I obvious is primary but that every time
you hang out with me like

a why do I hang out this god-like ill
you’re kinda be like given

him or her another chance and then you
hang out like out this is so annoying to

me why are you doing that

hmm like somebody they should be hanging
out with because you don’t like them not

not like a bad person familiar

behind this is how you feel about I but
they show up at your house would like my


you have no play builder sure what
should we are at

my house or my partner rather right now
and I’m doing my laundry so in

approximately 25 minutes your lappy

11 by dry my dryers done yet and i can
download it

the real question is will I go unload it
lowered in this podcast

lower the closing a wrinkly gotta thank
you another I don’t have a

love does atlanta shell Sun yes it is
this this song is just six words long as

we’re now

late to the tune of I got my mind set on

yes that’s a big are you kidding me now
had another oh my God my favorite liz

has a girl

I got this so I’m not due to are you
better now act not that I really try to

this song is just say

exporter this song is jus Jakes words

way this song is just say takes

maybe is not consider a word enter

good and they go then you lyrics i jus
now I know that our dinner I know


takes you know it you’re saying it so I
desire to either I did it in as I added


just days were oh my god yeah or I’m
gonna be the rear which are brothers or

sisters yeah

the song is six words on yeah someone
saying it to

Amir on his email address you know who
we are Allen Gmail that’ll work

i mean a real one question and see where
that takes us

class a question for you to answer I I

do you guys think well now this is what
I did and it has it and with wireless


lee mean like isn’t there always gonna
be a faster speed

when we ever gonna hit that faster speed
terminal velocity

allowed that’s akin infirmary I

30 at terry Lee about the rock data at
the head of the end a guy

yeah okay I aggression act we need a
fake guy’s name

ok last question period and all when you
as you bash facts and her two arms are


to deal yeah yes baby back to do that’s
what I thought

in high school to do to chew on I was
never that cools I would price told it


it was cool to do to win out and has
gone on for me as one but

ever made me you ever use the buckling
between I can’t relax you had like an


yeah like weekend cash Mike know you’re
a liar a roller that Alexis yeah

and basically my yearbook photo is the
poster for a wild with an appetite

look I got my mother

I yet do I join too similar to a real
person is a majority really crazy

I think I wanted to be really crazy
really crazy are under start with a real

person them

Carl sell a batch ok

s AL a bee atch

and Carlos felt TCK

lot a a are eloy

TCK Carly cell it’s now up from his
country across

Talmage right hey guys I recently met a
girl on 10 carries

requests are well I’m not got there

I’ll when you play your cruise a guitar
jedd steel strings on our

still spends know why do I prefer an
hour because it doesn’t have my fingers

it doesn’t your fingers Bucher is on
disability know well I mean like you get

you know there’s also that has a wider
neck thank you might think

and the bus I is it your go to so you
like out when I think a bit either

something I always play first

yeah whatsoever you become play first I
have never place on

for her ideals of potentials i jus
largely them backwards first

CD CG GC JC apply said the right ones

they didn’t use if he is a he said the

analytic merchant share the subs and
brought the bank now right stance .org

Carl sell about rights I recently met
this girl on tender and have message


quite a while we seem like a perfect
match I can’t find any cons I want to

take her out on a date

ASAP not meeting this girl yet is
killing me

however she is on spring break right now
in visiting home which is still local

and near where I live but I’m 21 years
old and I feel like I’m past the phase

in my life right to pick girls up from
their parents place

meet the dad promise to have the lady
back home by 10

I would much rather pick her up from her
apartment is it wrong for me not to want

to go to her parents house

am i allowed to ask to pick her up at
her apartment instead

or should I say nothing and just wait
until spring break is over and she goes

back to school

I appreciate all the advice thanks guys
okay well first of all you know she was

well with you

rabbit what she does Lovins I would say

ask work

ask out a girl like it by the way you
don’t have to go inside and Taylor the

parents and everything

you could just honk bombing of the hike
I think this is just like other

this’ll be my dick I don’t puke at least
this dudes like

inventing problem six steps away from
where he is right now

by the way I’m sure all three maybe not
JQ venture me and I have gone through

then I had that many times

like they’re going out no recycling I
got guy you know I probably should even

do it because

in general you’re gonna break up but

but that is what happens that’s like a
disease you just get further in Pearl

yes spiraling I do that all the time

and I that’s why I am asked the girl out
but I learned as

ass if if you if you mash asked the girl

and letter by the way maybe she’d cheese
on spring break

the way maybe now that time to go out
there maybe you ever to get back but

still be like

you know I can’t I can’t wait to take
you out I want to take you out step at a


I want to take you out then she says yes
there’s a good chance she doesn’t want

you to meet her daddy either II show
where I agree

wanna go out yeah let’s meet somewhere
but for some head

good 30 for asking the question let’s
not shit shit about us via

0 women as other question lol good value
added you to submit to Jacob should I do

for writing the email to hang out you
right and that your instinct is correct

that you should ask her out

you are over thinking a little bit I can
imagine a world where

other 21 is so young I came into a world
where she’s like well comment sorry my

folks yeah I would be such a big job for
me at least a big ol that’s like

date number la here’s a question what if
you like all right let’s go on a date

the great can you come pick me up I’m
staying at my parents place on 155

sunset boulevard

ray and they don’t know why I told
everybody road record your own

his roll up and honk the horn there are
you there yeah

course not I AM I don’t think you have
to go and

you could text that you’re outside I
would say like I would text like

on my way I’ll be there in 10 and then
you get there

any there she is and I with said you are
right here outside would rain here

outside I don’t think I would you knock
on the door

yeah personal that exact address on

is too much traffic in October hard I I
know that for a fact leveling up between

4-5 born 7 p.m. can allow parking
metered spot at that point that’s what

i’m saying is I

demand my it when I am i AR nice has the
option to my

doing something wrong if I if I pick up
a girl I usually just text

what about unless I’m thinking when to
come inside beforehand you never

ring the doorbell I mean I had to get
out so it could be right here do you

not because of you Russia like that
rushed yes but like to rush’s

the person but the nineteen ninety 90
hey you know him

I think his eyes I rather someone text
me then fuckin I wrote her sons are

text me then not come a ring my doorbell

100 percent for release like is an
actress on a be there in a minute as

opposed to their

whatever she’s not ready which many
times you know everybody’s busy maybe

they are ready

and then she’s like has I put on jeans
it quickly becomes as I any by 10 more

minutes as opposed to I’m so sorry to
make you

step at a routine I’ve rarely even pick
someone up

that that seems like an old school thing
to me lame as a floor away after I

usually meet someone there

matters where they live their lives
close by to you and then you but Palmer

you pick him up and then you drive I
think maybe not the first one for me to

feel if you don’t really grow tall

right I feel like yeah I won outright no
and I now made it in all its like you

have to drive an hour

and then it a half hour and an hour back
it might be

a bit much and should be like what are
you doing I was scolded for that


one air I he went on a date with a girl
and then I said for the second day we

should go to this play

and now they are to me there and then
she’s like a

okay as they are a images a actually

is this a date for just a friendship
meet up as a

a I guess a day I don’t know what was
the first one whatever that one was

today I only ask because up the lack of
the offer to pick me up

like young people like this I’d pick me
up like when you say maybe they’re just

seem like very cold I N

home my much %uh punisher

jay is I are so ben is dating somebody

I no no no no no I I think

that I don’t know everybody over things

everything the thing there lady was
overreacting to me

yeah I like hedonism is what the point I
was trying to print run think about

service getaway to say it because I
understand your point of view but

there’s s there’s this old idea I love
being a man see open all the doors you

your day run traditional core democratic
or by the way

yes but I’d sit sure that almost the
phrase courting makes more sense to me

where it’s like by the way I will always
open the door for stuff like that

but like arm went let’s say I’m dropping
her off sometimes I won’t have the

mindset to

park my car get outta my side go to her
side open up her door in Onamia

some do you do that well that’s like all
school several chivalry

I don’t think I do like a lot of
old-school chivalry actually what I

would do is

idly israeli gonna say I think you’d be
surprised at how

of n you have done it because it’s maybe
your instinct to do so

with any girl you dated I do you stand
up when your date leave the table

by there when I sailor people for
first-time I make sure last night in the


and yeah definitely but that nothing bad
land titling out a lot of pot manners

actually the event in Manor Road

that’s when I started changing it here’s
what I would wait I remember I was likee

cheat on a woman and beat somebody here
yeah there’s no doubt about that part of

his stroke each

corporate a realized chu a management
who is cheating yeah he like put his

sweater down in a puddle

so that and then as a dress like someone
who’s not as widely yeah

I’ll address Rep Park

I don’t you do with sabbatical me I
think that is what you do you guys are

really really nice like I would open the
door yes 40 mins or a girl

and I would open and I wouldn’t
necessarily jump outta my

see runaround and open a car door for

a lady but I would open my door get out
and hunger in front in the car so that’s

one thing I like when you text

here at the very least you’re waiting on
the could your car like James the image

comes out size and I’m not at a smoking
a cigarette flipping a coin and having a

leather jacket

I think it’s almost not as talk to us is
that was the generations before us is

not as prevalent

so it is something we have to search out
almost a fine yeah there’s manner

schools basically that teach you like

well it’s thats would you ever in a
million years ago some commanders

Burnett and 183 inertia

nicer to be in a room this is like you
just be a little more cunts

conscience the your mom cut and we at
this together to help conscientious

the first try much the you so you have
to be a little consider it

but not like treating anybody like
they’re helpless low great

point i by the way we always go out of
my way to make sure that I’m

trying to be nice above were my favorite
things in this city mess it up I guess

before I them done despite his poor tree

three times for them yet there’s there’s
I meant know once with one’s here alone

with a mere rate once you’re alone alone
just the truth

whenever air that have are gotta show
goes missing warehouses

arm you can record it there’s this being

a proud press record one night in every
Mike Chenault make it

that this is the thing that II five so
funny when I came for the beginning

people be like a thousand intern a
budget and a pager never then starting

in August

as we all start to do more more work
they’re like

I like always so kind to where you know
I sold sneakers rosso

kinda waiters in any anybody right
anybody cuz that’s what human beings do

but people around here be like for like
the mail or in person at some

agency or some company to be like you
should be nice you should be nice to him

or her because

that person may one day become president
Warner brother

a like years old who should just be nice
because you’re human being

I always hate it when people said they
are you should be nicer person because

like that dude just shot you think about
it show long you might get cash

literally he might pay you money in 30
Airedale owe you a waiver then

I hated I hated that way that gives
those it all the time

you never know that person you don’t
shit on a person cuz upper Samoa

so are you nice likey we were talking
earlier today some BS is a question

about you only said that you’re nicer to
our crew than we are

well army should be less nice

his year just left Jess star that

this is over the brewery when we felt
yeah when we should check near videos

you lets you any time which is over I
say let every single person here

and then you guys and then appeared
gozar I guess we’re going to do it

literally out loud

and tries to make a joke about that
feels bad for a second the Jake

hate it what are you talking about hated

I I think that is a trailer for this
entire time

I think it’s because for so I feel so

to be doing what I’m doing you had done
a show many of those shorts

the baby feels almost can it do I’ve
done many ok maybe you’ve done in seven

hundred he said

they’ve done so much that it just feels
like the

it said such a rhythm entertain you
don’t do as much but for me it’s like a

I’ve spent so much time with crews you

for different things I see how much
harder they work that all of us

summer or so priest over my some shit
they’re doing it for

a web series the money is probably
pretty low and you know

to make their experience a little bit
better about not being assholes well

that to you

that he told them they’re like how much
to get you like how much do you pay

is it better that I’m being nice to you
right now but they also had now put your

hand on it and a shoulder me like I’m so
sorry like is this a

but it’s not worth a look at your bank
account yeah I want to see how much

money you have

Jake is really a new credit card um the

also think I

from they’re like us in the fact that
three of us are still doing comic is

we’re huge nerds about it

huge nerd about it those guys better web
sorry just like we did

you’re probably so in love with it they
probably love doing sounder running bull

murdered or you know

like when you find a cool DP for the
first time of the web should elect

them do it like a short film somewhere
you like home guy I just saw this could

easily awesome in

I’ll even say sometimes I recommend that
person other people sometimes are

at reactor some people be I go looking
for DP though

like I did a short film on the person he
crushed it I do have you’re very


Reese that you a cut above the video
that we just did

where you play all 15 if your characters
oh yeah and I’m

like we definitely sent lots of people
and we like received lots of cuts a your

the first thing you wrote back was to
thank the editor yea like the one that

was Hazare

by the way that short film was but first
hold usually me read it

every single one but so did this one for
me and I’ve ever done recklessly mere

Jake yeah

Amir checks are um but as well as the
mir the problem was they merit

mmm okay I there’s very nice

but on that one if you guess all we did
for the finale we did this two part


and I played 14 characters

prime or Irish 4G yourself to sleep

rate this and he was like 50 it think
they’re 4215 band but you also did like

fifty or sixty khafji and hours though
we did not plan to but also we talk to

the DP ready before and liked

other this might be the right way to
shoot it we all decided I would choose

to improvise and stuff like that

but are more I’ll they came so prepared
they’re so awesome

everybody worked on it but the editors
had to take 15 versions me and put the

mission 1 it was something I didn’t even
think was possible

yeah bill Fox who fill fucks yeah yes

and like you cite this idoney thing has
like what

there a tracks or something the normal
at a normal and being

a time line so you could tell me or does
all the entries I

in the time I would have like I think

I mean our usual videos have 4 like a
four layer or layers to Video to Audio

right and then you know it more
complicated one might have

like five to eight shorts would have
liked 30

breakers at at at like all UHV all in
Ben’s layers on top of each other cuz

that’s what doin sound reach while
you’re at it and there were six of them

in one shot and I wonder liked week
we’re making tiny little tweaks to this

they were like openly

we have band come in here cut to this
reaction here

right it wasn’t like you could just ad
in a little yet to move

every single layer late one little thing

one domino knocked over the entire set
many would reconstructed

its crazy how good the editor was there
was something that I’ve never seen


that mike in movies I’ll it happens but
for this words like one person

yeah it’s insane is amazing little
thoughts yet hope that you guys never

like touch each other that’s when I get

well that’s all due to the DP in the
camera guys ray I

because they the three those who’ll arm
set up the whole thing up the whole

vision a foreign you regretted that is
so much when we’re doing it

well i remember i pitched the idea
effigy idea I was like

like we got it when Jake origami the
wrapping it up

the like would you do two more I like
100 percent as I wanna be funny if all

those people were actually their own
people and wasn’t faking it and they’re

all the same room at the same time

again let’s do it and you again and then
you showed up to said that day and we

wrote it yeah

and then we should Saturday by the way
it was fine its just that

I didn’t think through that I have to do
a big custom paint sure everything

costume change gray ever every character

and then it was different sizes and
different places so I do it three

different times

I mean I was one of the worst costume
change to his every

those so annoying ever like finishing
lunch and I go upstairs and you’re like

in the milkman cousin from the waist up
in the Asia cousin when the way why I at

level is at least yeah

I was sooo much I heard you to I’ll when
you’re the mountain hacker

those on your last constant changes it’s
like exile

I was told I was a

a and also the funniest part is the
whole time Jake is deathly ill

I debt how will I know you are not your
aneurysm on the go out she acted just

like diagnosed with us people who was
there you are you had bronchitis

I said hey man and you’re like of your
set what get away from the wood do not

worry I was really think you’re right

years ago next month or something yeah I
know I will had been sick

that entire month I was on it last four
days at this know but then you kept

you kept even getting sicker ideas to
bring other weaker ZM

but then obligation to check was lying
down on a couch doing is lined up camera

today can we are never wrong camera
they’re filming me except for Wells by


so for the first seven hours a day that
they’re both lying on couch is an

integral miss his line

so like I would like be talking to Jake
and I V as like a hundred times same


00 that you’re in years dating coach but
I just couldn’t get that she couldn’t

say the while I like Jake

you have one vehicle after larry is Leah
think of it all both

I 525 1600

the Nets arm

delivered to loop

visa but it will we do is between part 1
and part 2 I’m gonna change my old

take the wash-up smart actually let’s
take a break right now will think some

more sponsors and we’ll be right back
with you later I’m going to talk to me

and I know

will have to pee so still I just peed I
had a lot of water

because it is on jake has a strong

really are chanted so strong gluttony

I was down the hall it was like it like
maybe rumble

echoed so much mid-life build up your
bathtub and I peed in

I when I was deep water that was hit by
later fill it up with your people to


that are that are here to help you out
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and we’re back

%uh does the personal shit the personal
shit you’re telling us

over the break he’s never met up ther

so I feel like everything in my life is
gone I baptized talk about something

Gaia iraq has a projector I

OJ can shut off his phone Amir take a
job as far as getting a phone call

now is not the really pretty happy when
I tell you who it is who is it

the 212 number thing you know you share
show your is my pts pick it up nah nah

nah nah nah nah to pick it up

yes now I’ll pick it up get

identical 910

they miss call me that again it

do you have also been a voicemail live
in the end a matter what it is

you’re going to let you know that I yeah

I for sure which is only for brother
you’ve been getting

calls all day from Rhode Island numbers
are no numbers wire

dunno debt collectors a how shit

it could be a debt collector your truck
no it doesn’t do i do a voicemail

here we go by their parents here and it
was as the lead okkk Angie

I have Josh I am for you doing well lol

so close at Roseville the

sorry did much combat as his only good
lengthening and

I if it was good news we’d have

the whole team and yeah sure all my god

your own the funniest thing is I get
real close to getting a role real close

he like a better alright in summing it
was a major probably not I

corroding to be in the all-female goes
class are got all want to do is being a


and then arm he really close to being
caused by the emails about it

and then you know you got the role when
you get a phone call from someone this

isn’t that’s like

hey we have this it is it is it is it is
this is this person on the phone every

time I go yes

then declaring that they can blow from
Cali has actually right but then you

know you didn’t get it when you get an
email that says sorry buddy

I did you know you can get it when the
email yet they know you didn’t get it


no phone call were you go through this
whole process and all you get is like

other wonderful way yeah like wanna
bomber Gordon McCauley

and the sad part is like when you have
to call them you don’t you take

I might as well not call like they don’t
have good news but I haven’t heard

anything I always showing

ok so I’ve your knowledge was gonna
email you have the law

the that’s there and I also hate when
people email me

call me when you get a chance others
liked what they just call me now

you just spent time wonders there were

what’s going on I he will be with that a
call me when you’re saying

yeah like what you do you do you could
have just stepped up to that effect

a text that says that I’ve got a tax
that they call me it’s so weird commands

from texting with them

already you might as well just call
someone a name

they know I hope going to ben is leaving
no insane

holy shit valued at Bens leaving and
then is that no I was getting something

over there

the that that’s the definition of
leaving it was going somewhere else to

get something over there

Chi has been a question sure I

it’s contagious and we go to Australia
last night in la: bans way

his carding a watermelon oh my god
incredible and he’s making a


June and I hollow do not the 15 for
gonna be in Australia go to a fiery

should I convert a kit and details

Bhojpuri Everton live podcast in
Australia what

where and Sydney now born Adelaide

per Brisbane president I liberal Albert
Brisbane Brisbane your

yeah that some members because we’re
just losses from burst from house a lot

so she had

have here in Australia no I can’t wait
to go all I wanna do is you come with us

in June are you guys are up but I would
I lose money and all those flights now

we’ll pay you

I can imagine apparent pope et will pay
for your flight mum

were I will when he is gone Jan

eighth right me to do in russia

was a different about this I wasn’t
London working like a week before

yeah of I yeah



occurred your rhythm is terrible yeah

I’m not I noticing

a real I want you to commit to this aka
do not try to mess up

her okay Germany keeper them yes that’s
all I wanted a

okay put your mic down to begin here
took down to chill at and its own a

mobile they’re chasing

amo I know I became practice

already I’m getting practices like the
worse for the wear glasses I bring

russia you’re dragging

ball thing not quite my temple I I know
that sir

both of which I’m sure do and now this
is ABI I am

there are chicks just ripe for the

oh wow will really hit do commit 30 do
commit right

to differ I could dump them irate go a
little faster sci fi like that was


on what’s up asking me there and the

a great that

oh when the saints go marching in

oh when the saints go la JA

and i wanna the

in that number a little bit I’ll you
come back closer to the saints go

marching a.m.

media for them I think seven honored on
the test before

to the test alright I do that’s what got
it I

but it would sign we’re trying to do for
him on

something Weezer

up their lives lol does turn

and left being here other

other was live are you appear to write

him by there right okay yep those roads
are made them either

herna do for a

I’ll did free

ever say and now how do you get rhythm

someone asked that before Tyler can I
learn it

may you can copy someone so it does do
just nap I’m be

know but I want to be able to feel it my
body step on the

okay to a mere great now their stock

get a fast

the best that’s good I Gary a meatball

I me every bullet a giver happy bunny
but Josh I wanna get

laws in your something so I drift away

a dull day a threat give me a decade

yeah I don’t drown but isn’t it about
like hitting like

you do this i really do and what is it
that far that this is the week that

this is such a thing known as Medicare
Medicaid even talking about like

I feel like at the very least we should
be interview I

we’re not answer questions we’re not
talking about weird I will not be making

a joke to November funny

I redacting about rhythm and how you get

this is the weird is all have a this is
a question that might help by guess I

would ask this question more the ones
for interviews and materials inter

arm this aggression a present are you
born funny

is funny something that you can learn
how to do other senator is sorta like at

least we’re taking the rhythm question
apply it to our craft prayer

that’s a real questions as to their
views in the first time I was asked to

go out it’s a great question

isn’t both about the the answer I don’t
know if there’s an exact answer what do

you think and in the answers are Daily

the letter that the letter delivered at
the air

it’s probably about this like everything
is inherent you can be smart but then

also like you have to gain knowledge

but can you be funny can you learn to be
if you find so it was not funny can you

learn to be funny I think

you can definitely be successful and not
really be funny but understand the craft

yeah I think they’re like people that
aren’t as though they’re funny they can

write a really funny

scene in a movie we understand what
jokes will work that’s interesting

finding a room in the kids about works

the structure whatever rather I actually
I nope

plenty of people like that who I don’t
necessarily find funny but I know that


are good writers I’m gonna make this
into parts I mean where T at the forty

five-minute mark

a also the a Jose and say

you can there’s def companies like how
funny or subjective so somebody can be

funny to some person on funny to another
person thirds

had even feel like are you like can you
be can you be friendlier you born


I know some people think I’m families
some people doubt that interesting

that’s interesting

I think that you can learn to be
friendly right yeah

you can learn managing learn referral
even in the same with funny

if you watch a lot of funny things I
wonder though it’s just like

like I do wrong

up I would never be a professional
basketball player right

like I had no matter how are no matter
how hard I try and i cant unless maybe I

dedicate my life to own everything you
as you’re very

good basketball player right I could be
you know give a little break into the


industry if you need it to you but I
could like idoney I could never got to

Division one college I mean

maybe if I really all day every day all
it is a test from

maybe I could’ve been the last gonna d3d
if all I did was dedicate myself to

training a basketball you getting better
that than with other

I would have to get so much better fight
both because you need the

in a talent and then also the drive and
for basketball you

probably need like what three this
industry managed to get at Shiro theirs

and tiny eyes

her how much he bows like a hero to
everybody it was a spider web site where

um their is marie’s been terrible lately

where’s our a learning how to be funny
learning how to be a baseball player

subjectivity a comedy are you find how’s
the I think the three of us work very

very hard

rate and retired yea you do in the end
the amount of time you put into comedy

Libya the yeah the amount of time a mere
makes me put into combat

I’m a task to do you think you’ve got
header Hester well the other thing is

that it’s easy for us to practice
company all the time even if we’re not

working we’re still around

people that we won right we’re doing
better all the time so it’s harder to

practice basketball

all the time then why we you can just
play basketball the everyday

religiously I did us hanging out do bits
up whenever through thing I always do

better stupid right artillery could be
real talk about real things that helped

other as well but

a bum where when where our tape par for
the course or what we’re usually are

where out to dinner talk about real
things in the second some stupid happens

all the job I’m gonna we like to make
each other laugh cracked that brings us


but then you do you feel drained at the
end of the day like you at the in a

basketball game like

hanging out and doing like funny like at
the end of the shoot a when we’re

shooting lets your driving a messy

oh my god and nothing yeah and also
there to see and do

this short film called um I’m metal
which is online

and is he right to cry in it it would
take like six times and all that really

crying really really crying it

and I remember being like so

so tired afterwards I couldn’t I
remember the next chapter was browsing

I need to cite or chill for a bit like
that pic all your that any clouds rain

rain go into comedy sprawl my emotion
your area

but after you see be shows if I do a
two-person show I feel

so tired then cuz you’re juggling
everything if he had a bitch

way and both of us after like poop you
have to be like sharp for like 60 second


later sixty minutes yes 6 ministry and
and you have to initiate ever seen that

there’s nobody is gonna walk in and save

and many times we play five characters
the same time so it’s like up

so what’s the warm up for that like with
the equivalent of like layup lines for a

comedy show like that

let me try to be run funny the whole day
just to save your comedy energy really

like to be like around is OK honestly
have no we are doing that we’re if they

must meet each other that the right guy
let’s go out

the a out like you need to just be with
him for the afternoon to get

in tune get implemented a snow pants a
long time ago

yeah but that was different I wasn’t as
mean you I was like a lawn for the when

it just meant militia also know that
militiamen doing proper very very long


I think tom is my middle on I have will
be here for a very long time

at least 10 years yes at least eleven
part well leather 12 and he’s probably

13:15 babies every 12 13 and then arm

we meet but i guess im a retard what we
do for we meet

five minutes before the Great I five

we talk are you joking regions like has
gone article already

yet we all had to you both on your
phones like will sometimes services

someone else in the green room about the
bits just for them

but our will usually just talk was chill
like but there’s not there’s no warm-up

I remember router how a team such a
subdued back their little because

there’s usually a show going on C can be
like you done

ask am I liked at an SMI lozier it’s
very subdued a very

chill rights yet your alley backstage
getting hyped up

yeah the music and I don’t drink any out
some people drink a beer some people

have like

some for caffeine I don’t do anything I
just talking

we just got your natural why things just

this is something that I did all this is
a little long time I always

whatever I didn’t want to

to like a Pavlovian response the myself
to have a beer before doing the show

and I don’t wanna feel like fuck I’m not
very fun let’s have a beer or not we

file as I have Bowl via

and also so they do a life like that to
you go through a breakup potato


and you get really depressed I never go
out drinking afterwards

ever a lot of my friends when something
bad happens

they go out and get hammered that
medicaid a little and I’m like you know

what I can’t train myself

to do that that’s just a bad way to
treat to celebrate

when I get something good other each
other it sometimes but I’ll

eat Chi a cheeseburger thats what ive
our eats a little War II kabhii to

terrible for me in out cheeseburger ok
at the many features what I love

but I’ll have a better like if it’s a
birthday I got the background a guy you

guys know how to really get drunk right

other beverage or two but I will go
crazy yeah but I’ll go celebrate but

I try my best i know i i ties never to

drunk after something bad happened so I
have a beer for gonna be a drywall

get drunk ever take gets drunk every
night in I get a lot of times

the iPad does how do you deal with after
bad happens to you if you were if you

look up the girl or fewer zoe has value

well I think I would get I was like I
would get shitfaced drunk because I was


if I if I went through a breakup work
for celebrating or if it was just like

Tuesday I I would have a couple drinks

yet ratified tell me how many had a
couple drinks am

if going out then i’m have like three

and some shots a college like it try to

flexible know that such show know you
always pressure definitely

now that they are you not that much
every night I’m cab drivers every night

thing like us on a weekend

know when you’re going out strong that’s
your maximum that’s not a lot its

after Maxim magazine yeah that’s what
you guys up to the

I love you and the entire with with
people we leave

a whiskey at the placement another
another one there

and then probably more

by later counting there’s one at home

I wanted to sorry guys I know there are
a lot more

okay a third is there a lot in college I
don’t overdo it

you drink a lot sooner charge do you use
his hammer hammer does your hair in

I don’t get hammered you get drunk you
don’t black out on a night like that

she had drunk you go crazy yeah I’ve
never liked out

and never blacked out arm a day to get
this college is over differ when I was

in college

I drank we drank that’s what I like is
my first time away from home as they are

we drank one great I remember there’s a
great moment

when I martin weir I was very close all
my friends

video at: agosun in college or went to
college island at the Fox basement door

yeah goes heart attack may be a sad I it
is 1230 a baby

and I go dutch men and so we used to
love to pregame

it was so fun and so the showers were
you know your blog their little walls

between shower but

you can put your stuff on top of the
wall to grab a air

so what we used to do is we used to
everybody had a different about the I’ll

out her taking showers you at your hair
a book up and you would have like a shot

a black house are you have a shower with
your shower ever

so while we were getting ready to go out
and pregame here are ten years ago the

shower area

classic I’m in college was crazy yeah
but I’m not but like

also when I was done hours ago I don’t
lie I don’t get as much enjoyed for what

I think if I was that it would be like

I need to get drunk I would be like I
need to have some kind of communal

experience with my friend the lecture

you are surrounded by people in your
brain and I think drinking as I can I so

logically werner said

iron ons that all the time I

you thirty eight missed calls and Jake a
I think I’d meet at ease but the senator

where we stopped

we’d have to stop right now but stop as
well as though you guys but but I do I

guess the United was alright that’s a
great season for accepted way so it get

the guitar rig into an outer things are

Raji serb and will be back next week I
think on Monday

for part to love this episode if you
have any

questions have your own that will
probably get to invent not on the show

attitude a is a fire you show at gmail
dot com thanks again to Alex

Sexton for reading the theme song to
begin this episode and thanks to Jay can

ban for reading the outro song here it
is J here we go

going to hold my conclusion yes great on

organising turn these are outnumbered


mobile homes up I

cuz I’m not I can sing too complicated
negative maybe that was maybe that’s

that the

one i dnt think about getting things





thank you business horns

leads are


can I borrow some shorts thank you

the air Amir yeah

can I borrow and Georgia sup file

barnwell lolol me


seeing her man darlin

means your mom I’ll names

day everybody I other day but I side
with the same style as a matter was I

was amazing

it your those great stay all Jordan
Harbinger from the artist John here

the art of charm is packed with wisdom
in the true sense of the word from how

to become more productive and

too high to me attract women and manage
relationships we talk about how to

create confidence how to get people I
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time management by lacking and more this
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