Episode 15: Trust

Description:

In this episode we discuss jealousy, trust, and the pros and cons of hooking up with your neighbor.

This episode is brought to you by 20Jeans.com! 20 dollar jeans. Because paying more is kind of dumb now.

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episode everybody snow

day 10 stem cell line

and killed army still

Chism

and I’m

I won’t I am 100 per

said Chad cameras fallen star a

made noodles and Monday scare

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up hey cool fusion

Tuesday to just moved to I

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me

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lawlessness said

is teen

you wow wow hello hello hello a Haley

sq now is Haley kalin with some sort of
amazing intros

a song for I we just give me give me a
couple months are gonna maker Haley her

with I think I just love you

I can’t believe you would make her
change her last name I think she’d want

to use chauvinistic pig

the sexist outrage mile as David Cowan
that has that Haley

at if you’re as pretty as you sound if
you’re as beautiful as I just invented

in my mind

yeah how unattractive can someone who
can make that sa not be

right let your voices is a angelic
soldiers by

a I think I I think you’re in a joke

I her love for sale this is love it
first

I don’t know yea right spot view

and other sets and year appealing Haley
is the name of the girl that

you would you could fall in love with
just based on the name based on the name

alone is this bill to the Y

yeah it’s a yall you I yeah yeah I will
you marry me

I is crazy a white guy is crazy

yes it is but fuck fucking crazy is that
we’re going for a daily

yale is made with three kids so

fast ship yeah anyway this is if I were
you the only advice podcast on the

internet hosted by us

I am Amir and I am Jake

and less are you hosting another eyes
podcast on the same so insecure

what police say current that yesterday
don’t wanna record you said you were

doing some all mike got you thinkin you
jump to the conclusion I was hosting

another advise podcast and yet you still
have an answer the question

I am I absolutely AM I did you know I
love

you have my word that be fine I ass

you know only that this is episode 15

can you imagine started from the bottom
in our here yeah you know we first

started this

I never thought we’d get episode 15
really I didn’t

really ass if you’d like not even that
much and I just I was very glad you

think would happen

I wasn’t sure we really gonna release
the first episode are you thought the

record it never really thought we’d
record it listen to it be like that was

a fucking embarrassing let some erase
this from ever happening

I really our curtain the phone yeah

I gotta tell you guys are we a re record
is it appears the park IQ

ticket I what do you tell what I like to
do today

well I feel is it the last couple have
is that we could record I’m here we

recorded in a very

cavernous place an hour the echo you
know to the many caveats so

this time I wanted to do things right I
googled how to reduce

echo in her room and they said it earned
flat group flat

balance the services like walls into
soft

you know the sound absorbent services so
as you

enter the apartment you’ll notice life
%ah there are

a beer has put his shower rod in between
I

a large window in the living room a
draped a blanket over it

I don’t think you honey flannel shirt
over data over there

%ah there’s a towel over the TV a towel
over the door

a basic anywhere anywhere near key to
hang a towel irv

a plate it yeah you

I it looks insane but you know it’s
gonna sound good I love it

you’re like the last episode being eco
he was like your biggest net value of a

sleepover yes

I like would read tweets that said like
damn that echo you know just like

make me sweat while I hate it I hate it
so much

invite echo I’m glad people still listen
and enjoy tax our last two upsets worm

to must listen two episodes ever well
despite the ACA

yeah or maybe because the echo they were
doing something right

yeah right Ryan Braun %uh

so thanks everyone for listening if this
is your first episode this is how it

goes down people are in difficult places
sticky situations and the email us for

help

the email us at if I were you show at
gmail dot com

and we do our best to well we do go
through every single email and we

you know do our best to try to answer
the ones that we think will yield the

funniest results

would you say that’s accurate I yes I
have been just staring at the blanket on

the bed

I essentially that is true I like I I
got

I like everything way and now that I but
I what is like

is this will usually does what he does I
guess I’ve never come over when you’re

doing laundry

i July every I would say like you
shouldn’t drive the towel on the TV

as the I say what did I tell us that is
like I guess is pretty drive its by

you its bone dry as it now if I had my
druthers and one day I will I’m gonna

live in an entire carpeted apartment or
just like

and habits and sort of studio space that
I can live in just completely sound

absorbent

non echo a right does cold recording
studio that’s the dreams is our

recording this in a

recording studio but then we’re gonna
remember these you know it has been the

citizens we left the apartment

episode 15 the energy can recapture that

to recapture that energy that you
talking to my tombstone

and Diana visited so anyway that’s my
other advice podcast sorry about

starting without telling you but you’re
dead

I yes LX a let’s jump right into things
and as always we’re gonna

preserve your anonymity by giving every
email

a fake name so let’s start with this one
will call him

Danny Danny Danny fake name

real email rights my gf started being
really clingy and annoying after her dad

died in a car accident

so I broke up with her but now she’s
telling everyone that I’m a dick

how do I stop these annoying rumors from
spreading

home and your life’s really hard yeah
because

I’ll hit now like there’s rumors that
are annoying in like how do you even

deal with that he talked your living
father about it here

I I this is probably the least
self-aware

I I wish I could give away the email
because it’s

so dumb that but I I’m starting to like
it

an equivalent stupid email I

I guess I’ll say the yeah the email is
equivalent to a

fat blunt 6969 yeah

I would say that way is it a gmail yet
to Gmail

interesting you not think that like
somebody that had that bad of an email

would be like

Yahoo or Hotmail you is not that
terrible

%uh the way to stop these annoying
rumors from spreading student stop being

an awful person

I just by your email you’re probably the
most horrible person that I’ve never met

yeah up you know it

wall fuck yet I don’t know what to say
other than your an asshole

I will you be you he should not have
broken up with their girlfriends yeah

you think you should I think there’s
like a a period where you have to you

know

if she’s your girlfriend use or have to
deal with the quote-unquote clingy and

annoying phase I guess probably just her
seeking solace in her boyfriend

and you know you can’t really break up
with someone right after that tragic

thing happens I’d like to know the time
line

that’s what I like did you do it day I
love see your like were you doing it

was he like I’m a break up with their at
today’s the day and that she calls it

like my god

deadly 0 but now I’m life but like I’m
already committed like I’m so I was

seriously did satan’s

I think you should see my dad that other
what

people shit visit go be clingy don’t pay
knowing

don’t tell people that I’m a dick I yeah

Jesus you know I think years two options
one don’t be a dick

stay by your side until she’s I’ve made
a through the recovery of sorts

or two accept the fact that you’re a
dick

yell why do you want the audio to
prevent these in Iran merchants these

these are these aren’t even rumors
though it’s it’s true it’s a fact she’s

telling people that you broke up with
their

after her dad died and that’s actually
what happened you may be a dick

but you know what a lot of people are
dicks sometimes nothing you’re always a

dick

that was not a dick move people make
dick moves and

hopefully with the rest of your life you
can just I

dedicate the rest if you’re like to not
making more dick moves and then you’re

not a dick

so if you treat this is like a turning
point in your life you like oh my god I

can’t believe how big a dick I used to
be

you can still say face you know during
the next generation of your life like

i’ve this is high school you’re going to
college ur

this is college in Uganda whatever
you’re going to after college I see ’em

I mean I want you to be dead but like if
u getting a job in itself

talk like God of all you said it

you said it first is that they want you
to be dead I took the next logical step

that’s not fair dude

don’t make me feel like a dick like this
guy it start the annoying rivers from

spreading

by that I let’s move on to something
less

severe an intense this one comes from

Aunt Becky oh and Becky fake name real
email

hey guys my name is and Becky I’ve been
dating this guy for a little over a year

we are both twenty in college and have
broken up twice but got back together

he has trust issues and doesn’t wanna
hang out with any of my guy friends

because he thinks guys are too flirty

he doesn’t talk or hang out with any
girls I kinda feel obligated to have

equality in the relationship

is it ok is that right of to give up
talking or to hang out with my male

friends in order

earn his trust have either you guys ask
the girl for ten years to stop talking a

multiple guy friends of hers

hope to hear an answer from you soon
thanks Becky

really interesting question my
relationships out stable living together

year they’ve only broken up twice

I that’s the below average I’d say lets
12 months with the

to breakup yeah all right not to back so
that’s what

every six months ago break up for
something yeah maybe like at month for

native broken up in there yet another
one

cool that’s fair um so it sounds like
it’s worth fighting for

it’s worth saving um especially if you
guys have been together a whole yeah I

mean

365 days and I don’t know how many those
days is that broken up but

well the problem is it’s hard to count
the days because he’s not allowed to

speaker see her friends right

it so it’s like how to see quantified AC
other question was have we ever asked

ago for the bars to stop

seeing are hanging out with I multiple
Kyle guy friends hers

and the answer is No cuz that’s because
we’re not insane yeah thats

at this girls 20 she doesn’t realize
that her boyfriend may be her first

boyfriend

is asking something that’s terrible
right I think a lot of the times people

in their first relationships don’t
really you don’t really know what to

normal

in a relationship tell you been in
several rights and I’m like sometimes to

relationships down the line

dekho that girl I dated two years ago
was insane yeah I didn’t realize she was

emotionally abusive until I found
someone who is normal and let me spoke

to my guy friends

it’s not normal that this guy is in
speaking with any like

what do you mean earn his trust have you
done anything to break his truck yeah

she had a

she’s her guy friend called her
yesterday she picked up just to tell on

that he couldn’t talk to him I think but
I will technically talking to a guy

friend Jesus Christ default should be
trust

unless you like unless you cheated on
him every single time because the

breaking up in which case you know what
if he should be going out with you

yeah i cant this is so weird like to
make a rule where you can’t speak to

someone of the opposite sex but I’ve
heard that before

so bad llego take it up with a picture
on facebook like

my girlfriend is a wannabe in a photo
with other girls are can you not talk to

me in public because my boyfriend
doesn’t wanna see me speaking to other

girls

yeah that’s crazy about like it

I can almost understand like how in the
moment it’s like oh yeah I don’t like

I’d rather not have this fight
playwright

what friends alike let’s not even talk
cuz it’s not pleasant

but think about the rest of your life
but not just you’re being 20

for the rest of your life if you stay
with this guy he will not want you to

talk to people

I is that a normal thing when you’re 25
28 years during the 30

when you guys like have to be as you
take in a preschool like I can you

imagine if she has a boy

like you can’t even speak to you know
how to raise your son I

a real talking to bob your dictator
husband rules

up don’t talk to that Sun RA I’m afraid
you guys will hook up here okay um

actually but I guess or the parent
teacher conference today yeah we’ll

are any of the teachers man because I I
don’t understand how you’re going to

converse with them

you know the rules you shouldn’t even be
talking to our god damn child I did you

leave the dungeon gonna keep you it

and please do not breast-feed are signed
for the love God nobody sucking all out

he’s but me

a little Randy just got a sloppy second
base with my wife

does that fair readies a six-month-old
baby you ass

and I thought get a tiny little boner on
I

I I saw the world’s tiniest Boehner
rodeos suckling on UTA does six 6 months

ago already was coming out here today
and I didn’t see a bucket smiling about

it

practically AM I skied down wave right
in front of me

ok well I was videotaping the thing how
do you think those are the body and the

girls who like Joe

great my wife said lesbian now I breast
feeding our daughter

you that so it works every conversation
is said to people making love

where does it end bhakti where does it
and I’ll tell you where tens

I’ll yeah tell your boyfriend that you
don’t want to be with him say

alright here’s a new rule here’s my new
rule I can speak to whoever I want

and if you don’t agree with that then
let’s break up and they’ll be there like

alright fine let’s break up which is
great because this guy sounds like a

real asshole

or he’ll be like near okay you can you
talk to other people in a

is related to be talking other people
Hill secretly be hating at the entire

time so my advice is to straight-up
breakup

hold on let alone make up that mess up

I can that be when you catch phrase its
trade a breakup

that’s what’s up when I have any idea
who

yo to you has to go straight-up break up
that was up

that’s a song straight-up break up that
is up or

I’ll book over I don’t have a second
verse yet had just came up with the

first but like I just got a hung all
these tiles around so that this

the song %uh is at least recorded well
the giveaway deserves to be after those

two echoing here that you would a loss
that

well the real the real recorded version
probably have a lot of ago straight up

straight up

ok that’s %uh I so is not like it TLC
song straight up break up hold up mister

lover

like Prince said you’re a sexy mother i
hack are made maybe it straight up wat

up

helped set up with up which sounds
better than straight on break-up

well hey ISO and Becky straight up
breakup

that with the we don’t like this guy
he’s not good

he’s not good for you I really die we
know you

yeah I just based on your email we know
enough to tell you that

she’s a serial cheater that can’t be
around I

now nymphomaniac alright a

let’s move on to the next email we like
from Aunt Becky

to Uncle Jesse well Uncle Jesse rates

my I think my next door neighbor wants
to hook up with me

is that a good idea or a bad idea

short and sweet right to the point I
like Uncle Jesse already

I think my next-door lights a with let’s
just

answer the exact same I let’s at their
on three

well each of us thing would over it I
think I have has a theory your does that

say

your say it’s just a yes or no answer
should I yet are a good idea bad idea

okay one to you 3 grabado yeah

i’m new york to see eye to eye on this
shit a few you think it’s a good idea I

think it’s a great idea it’s a terrible
idea why

why’s it because I imagine every girl
that you hooked up with and then stop

hooking up with and then having to see
that person live across from your hall

for the rest of the time that you’re in
that apartment that’s not something you

I’m

you want space you want distance you
gonna keep your home life

conversely conversely imagine just like
arm tired I wanna go out for like osha

like it is now gotta

door and have somebody to hang out with
the

cuddle to sleep with that sounds pretty
a deal to me

so you think okay this is exactly are
are

big discrepancy in life I’m thinking at
the long-term implications in your

thinking a while you’re hooking up how
great it is

yeah you’re living in the moment living
in the moment why he fast-forward

fast-forward yeah I’m having sex with
one of my other neighbor

I problems solved it

I I you don’t think you don’t think
there’s any a negative ramifications

I die I will yet definitely there are
but shits gonna be a fun ride what

happened I

at your ride roller coasters and
sometimes I feel sick afterwards don’t

you but

they don’t you like on upside down don’t
you like bill the win against your face

I know I do it’s funny because I don’t
like roller coasters for that exact

reason

I the win against their base hit I

you more than anything else I hate bill
inaugurated a mirror hates the moment to

yeah I can enjoy the moment because I
know what the next

three hours will be like well what a
glorious little prison you live in my

I I look around then it’s tell covered

I my brain won’t let me enjoy things
because it knows that I will

um yeah a suffer for it

at a later hour interesting my brain
won’t let me

its protect myself against long-term
ramifications because

well my penis is the bossa had sort uva

the little admiral more than anything
else like Napoleon star

the charger the entire our lives is that
you calling it a little but yeah

essentially I understand you know next
to the rest my body I imagine is what

you’re saying you know i will then I i’m
saying is an actual house that you have

a much bigger appeared as good a little
guy a little little teen peeing out

pretty much

inverted p.m. bed as somehow controls
you from the inside

don’t like her we’ve that a boss on
Ninja Turtles the brain inside a

offering

yak fraying my penis is Mike ray yeah
and my anus is your cry penises the

bossa my phone is it a little mini

I you still gonna plan on getting rid of
your phone I will I need to cuz I think

I need to guide you to chop the head of
my dick

I HF thats I

at up by it I think I think my my penis
tells my phone

what to do yeah it like this little
fuckin a bill the iPhone ready at that

little this little did you know your
brothers

effect I that little 3h by one inch
plastic death

this glass temptress I your penis
controls the phone as controls the phone

so I just controls me see a good chance
that a cut of you dare cut off your

phone

yet that’s that my last resort and
that’s gonna

I think force me to be a better person I
hope can you live without snapchat

Instagram tender Facebook Twitter

email text messages also %uh email my
computer

yeah what else do I need I

techno tax tax kill me man and should
not have tax

I should be allowed to text you can can
you think your I guess the you have a

little

level and being self aware that you’re
cutting yourself off without like being

able to have the actual willpower not to
text

I have no willpower and I think the
strongest thing I’ve ever done is

recognized that

and I that I’m know that the sad
statement

i’m aware. everybody that’s shedding a
tear for me in their car at work on the

subway rights I give back into your eyes
gonna completely aware

I yeah I’m to you I am I

David did to it into temptation I know
no boundaries

I need to you so like my sober thoughts
by late morning time thoughts and he

said get rid of your phone

have you ever thought about their peak I
you out we talked about hypnotism

yeah I have out there are Brenda our
friend with addicted to cigarettes

I got hypnotized and hasn’t smoked in
almost two months now

yeah so the pretty crazy the
hypnotherapist was

able to look access parts for brain that
she’s unable to otherwise right knee

that you’re talking about like a hard
rewiring deeper n

that’s what I need so you’re likely to
hear a lot about your patching your

patching like a a hole on a surface

were like maybe they have got their
piscine getting in my complete the

recalibrate your lab would be great but
my first question when

I we talked about me getting hypnotized
as a way to pay for but you said you’d

pay two hundred dollars for me to be
haven’t I’ve yeah

and I asked my friend if the hypnotist
was hot I

you and she’s a Jew is a stone cold
Stunna she did say she is really cute

yeah which make me wanna go yeah like
what the fuck it’s already failing you

raped yeah a

hangout where were we I think we’re
going to the next question

a no oh no we r us till this question
which is why I

should just the hook up with his
neighbor I say yes no yeah ICS

oh yeah I say no Jake says yes over the
answer I guess

I don’t know what do you guys think what
are you up as he may listen and to let

us know your opinion I mean

I feel like it’s too stay give a
situation to get involved in

I can and asking that he already has I
just wanted that like that so the

I would do you would never be like outdo
my neighbors I really haha soak up with

me should I do it you just know he said

right and me I would say should I do it
meanwhile

I probably already have so Uncle Jesse
if you are listening and I know you are

listening please let us know if you have
yet

and when you break up or things fall
apart

I want you to call in and let us know
how miserable your life

I don’t heal the latte really I don’t
like to do their other in a bit of that

I’ll be on

how stupid how short I think I did this
in Taipei ways

lol greg is that is what I can let us
know how good the sex was

Liz know how awesome it was coming home
drunk after striking out at a bar

knocking on your neighbor’s door be able
to fuck someone

was no good that fell your your

squeezing my thighs I’m trying to fuck
you I think I just snapped at you

I boom a a

I’m sorry for yelling a Jesse you didn’t
deserve that

hot I was projected I

whom alright alright alright let’s go on
to the next question

an others when sorted in the same theme
of trust

now good and as I trust episode yeah
just upset this one comes from

uncle Joey if we say trust a couple more
times being called this episode trust

okay I think about it trust

a big fan but I was wondering just
started a relationship and I’m pretty

paranoid about cheaters so I was
wondering

if you guys can give me some tips on
what to recognize and make sure

I can catch them in the act also should
I be ever vigilant

I’m all for trusting them to use their
quote nah

tells me I’m all for trusting them but
I’d rather have reassurance on my own

trusting

because I’m not too sure if anyone can
really trust anyone

especially themselves but especially
their spouses

holy Shi’ite never be in a relationship

is I’m not sure if anyone can really
trust

anyone especially themselves but
especially their spouse’s

I mean bad grammar I a red eye and a

aside for bad grammar bad attitude to
have about relationships

holy shit no one can trust anyone
especially themselves beside me ever

vigilant

I like no matter what we say you are

also your biggest desire is that catch
someone in the act

how do I recognize a cheater so I can
catch them in the act

issue fucking coward back you

the like and what sort of like weird
like anti-semitic or racist things do

you honestly say like

how do you recognize a cheater by there
like slope browse them for like physical

appearance things that we can tell users
love strawberry milkshake take Route

desert okay I you

a how do you recognise you recognize a
cheater

I don’t deep don’t I think iight

I would have you that they like once a
cheater always a cheater yeah I would

you agree with that

um I don’t know no I don’t think so
typically grow you die someone and then

later on you can just not she

I think so okay

you three I

now I guess that’s you I guess but I
feel like once a cheater the odds view

cheating

are much higher right I guess people are
more predisposed to doing it

right you think you can make like if use
if you lined up ten guys

and five that have cheated before in
five then havent

I would too I would put money on if all
in all their necks relationships the

five that have cheated before

would probably be more likely to cheat
then the fight that have not I agree but

I also think that

up the fight that have cheated if they
like given you know if they’d like to

learn something from it

or if they’ve grown from it in some way
maybe they can be people that don’t do

it

in the future yes maybe sell but how

should II recognize in cap back to hear
the point I

n and where do you get those little
plastic handcuffs I can make a citizen’s

arrest on my

I might unfaithful freakin girlfriend
I’d love to put a glue trap over my

girlfriends vagina and catch a cheater
in the goddam active life okay with the

Chinese finger trap

lol no although the next person they get
stuck inside that was a god damn cheater

you are I think you are not ready for a
relationship

maybe he’s a cheater he’s the guy from
he’s the boy for the last girl

like I cannot I I don’t want her tits
they’re both gone back to have both you

guys break up

I feel like you need to %uh learn to
trust yourself

first if you don’t think you are can if
you think you’re physically incapable of

cheating or like if you think you’re
great at

a resisting temptation then I think you
do that by some with your

the same core values but Jesus don’t be
some kind of psycho

I who is like hell-bent on catching a
cheater

yeltsin as a I’m all for trusting them
but I’d rather have reassurance so

you’re not all for trust no

all for trusting is not having
reassurance thats

it’s about not being nervous every every
time your boyfriend or girlfriend goes

out or goes to work but Lee missed the
point

I you know having out a nice healthy
relationship

it is would you say it’s built on trust
I think it

among other things but yet they restrict
you can’t break trust REIT

yet there’s like a self-fulfilling
prophecy because

on even if that’s the correct term but
like you’re always looking for the most

attractive person

to be with and then when you find a
really attractive person you’re just

paranoid that other people are trying to
hook up with them

yeah is that like okay with the other
option finding someone who’s not going

to get hit on every time they go to
somewhere

I think the weakest thing you can do in
a relationship is like try to

try to like it is to be jealous like
here traded

keep your girlfriend from the real world
or something or keep your boyfriend from

the real world cuz then

that like in security in your mind goes
into theirs yeah

oh well my boyfriend’s assorted an
insecure piece a shit look at that guy

he’s confident right

and then yet venue bench eating all the
sudden seems really appealing when

you’re obsessed

you’re obsessed with by your girlfriend
cheating on yeah I sir hey when I people

are very jealous or like you know like
this guy non trustworthy because it’s

basically taking their insecurities and
they’re like

shortcomings and Jack to God’s ears yeah
and then it’s like it only affects

you so it’s like I am sort of an asshole
who doesn’t know how to trust people say

you have to change your life to be with
me

right now want to become an adult you
exactly what I I

you have to become the the asshole prick
that I am because otherwise we won’t get

a lot and I’ve I’m not gonna change

I’ve been there have been like nervous
that Mike that a girl from Sgt before I

believe jealous if another guy but I

think what I you’re supposed to do and
I’ve also fuck this up

but you have to just trust the other
person and then that person

sorta rises to the occasion to be
trustworthy right or if they don’t then

the relationship wasn’t

built this last anyway there you go sees
basically every day’s a test and if

they’re your girlfriend fails then you
realize that you shouldn’t have trusted

our to begin with

yeah but there’s no rules are walls you
can set up to prevent

like it’s like you’re gonna get married
two summers ago think I invented all

those rules otherwise you woulda hooked
up with me

now we can get married few can you
imagine if I didn’t set up these

emotional walls that she had no I
created all the pounders

I they got your dollar my rules now we
can live together forever

in a resentful terrible marriage I also
hate the the idea that like

when your girlfriend or boyfriend cheats
on you

and you get mad at the other person
rather than at your boyfriend

or girlfriend you think that I think
your anger should lie with your

significant other or not with the other
person

like the other person may or may not a
even known or been involved in the

relationship

right there’s there’s a person who’s
like who’s more accountable and if the

person has been in the relationship for
all that time

be exactly like a lot of guys like dude
fiver find the guy that my girlfriend

cheated on you with I’m gonna

bash his brains likely why him why are
you mad at your girlfriend yeah

so you’re advocating that they should
bash their girlfriends pray that right

replies yeah had a good run you know
just how we are out of time

LaHood user credit I’ve got a buyer

newspaper spinning toward Center
Blumenfeld advocate bashing girlfriends

braids and

yeah I don’t pass any with brains than
but I think it’s here there’s like to

there’s you can sort of like spread the
blame around

and somehow that’s on you sometimes on
the person that

that maybe created some kinda bad
environment that your girlfriend wanted

to

escape exactly right I am

yeah I don’t know how else to say it

trust trust

see how much time we have all right
we’re almost actually at halftime but

let’s try to get through one more
question

let’s do it we never took a little break
that you like to take I really do like

my breathers letting out a ten minute
one

I has been a breather at the 30-minute
might have been a breather

I need I meet the the time to decompress
cheeses yeah

I mean there’s a lotta there’s a lot of
heavy shit in there was like dad die

hier

cheating spouses if you are you can grab
Italian of the long this or that dabble

your forehead which kill me if I pull
these tells up the wall the everybody’s

expose this hard surface have the TV for
my boys to

balance of a do it and made a rather
than 28

I did get your goat I the email again

if you do find yourself in a sticky
situation like and Becky Uncle Jesse

Uncle Joe yeah

ready to be at or depart make fun of I
is

if I were you show at gmail dot com we
also

mean Jacob a Facebook page Facebook dot
com slash Jake and Amir

that we post a lot of stuff I fiery show
related on

we also have a YouTube channel we’re
going to try to upload more YouTube

a video version to the podcast yes so if
you search a fiery show on YouTube you

can watch us

an you can watch a full episode that we
videotaped

what’s the better better way to say
videotape film yet we filmed

we filmed and uploaded it I think
because filmed makes it sound so I

pretentious we filmed and yeah he’ll be
around the bills so

this motion picture and a but videotape

is like more accurate what we did just
not I we’d there’s no its not videotape

you know

we somewhere in but what the people that
have just like taking my dad’s camera

and asking my friend operating yeah

that so we thought about our camera
operators that they’re dealing with

their parents equipment

I you know what I was thinking have is
you think would be a good idea or bad

idea to post

just an audio version have every episode
to YouTube

to stay that way people can listen to it
on youtube or people find it that way

yeah you know I listen to albums on
YouTube well as an aside any to all the

time

and he getting it does though it’s not
like a and then we leave the area yeah I

don’t while

watching musically I just wanna press
play it like album cover

we should totally do that maybe like
starting next week i’ll just upload

episode 1

on make sure their old episodes that you
know we’re still getting our plays

online on iTunes you can listen to it on
iTunes or

a fire you show Dhaka but a that way

you know at least four people find out
about the show are we not answer a

question anymore

know you’re just talking about how about
strategy more than anything really if

conversation we will be having

of like with a camera when the when the
lights are off

doesn’t it doesn’t seem like this was
walking to the subway you wanted the god

damn break

I here it is you loser

I how dare you call me out I gave you
your break and had a nice covers they

see the menu

and that he you ridiculed me now I know
what these

mailers be less than 45 minutes hanging
towels around my apartment in the firs

the you did with publicly you save me

you over the bed bath and fucking beyond
this morning 8am but 90 veg how’s the

blanket that was from beyond

I you that’s from bad that’s really bad

that once from beyond that flannel shirt
over there that’s for

and if you can imagine that was actually
from twenty genes whose are sponsored

shit so those are you had a good it’s a
nice blog

um how God alright it’s really hot here
we can’t we can’t even put on the air

conditioner that’s another thing that

adjusts sound heads compromises sound
quality

this is all scribbled in i weird
algorithm Anna Meares wall him be an

Italian right now but he wasn’t here
last night with a Sharpie

writing on the ceiling riding on the
floor

hmm a a someone’s gotta be the audio
engineer

and not actually it’s gonna be me from
now on I promise

all study up to take these Dells I’ll be
a snapchat

I I’m gonna study idea I really am a
better myself ownership

titties you detected its lights lights
lights lights lights lights and I

a I let’s get to the last question an

cell this one comes from God with
another guy

on full house is that that we’ve been
doing I

Steve I as Steve AK Aladdin rights

I’ve been with this girl for two years
and since we moved in together last year

she’s caught me masturbating a couple
times

she’s been getting upset because she’d
rather have sex or go down on me they

know that I’m masturbating in the other
room

she’s even offer to go down on me while
I watch porn

which would be fine but then I can’t
watch the really good stuff without her

commenting on my choice

interracial BBC Asian girls

however sometimes I just need me time
and I don’t want her help when on

China do me how can I ask her politely

to let me masturbate in peace it is an
amazing questioned its so

complex its yeah I don’t have to live in
different answer yet

this is that with that tried its place
you want this then is the last question

is the biggest mistake we’ve ever made I

yeah and i’m talking about the echo you
have to say that this is worse than

recording in a cavern is a part that

I I think this is worse I Kelly really
quick we could spend it

it tire 30 minutes talking about this
now at now I’m serve tentative but

let’s try to not be getting all we can
talk about it for as long as it’ll take

but I’m

can you explain this to me is a porn
aficionado how dare you

my mother listens to the hmm BBC

you know I thought about that and I at
first I thought he was talking about

bbw which is big beautiful women a and I

BBC might be big black chicks but I
can’t like

I think it also could be a typo healthy
2w on the keyboard

far yeah maybe it maybe he just was
typing BB

WN is like %uh BBC cuz like everyone
knows BBC’s in

another I don’t know would be big black
cocks big black cocks maybe

a weak answer to right now I

that’s another funny a search result
that your search history

PVC I hope yeah I recall that aside

this guy so take us to your emotions as
you read this question 1

it’s like I’ll everyone masturbates yeah
it open should not be upset

I’m surprised that she’s caught you
multiple times yeah

I think that’s a little cray and I on
the flip side to that

on you shouldn’t be like masturbating in
another room while you’re

your girlfriend’s home and I don’t think
you can say

um she i DJ your

it’s Steve okay at and other you can say
DJ

I’m gonna go into the bedroom and
masturbate please don’t come idk a

wrench of course she’s got like

there’s some sort of like emotional
conflict there but then on the flip side

to that

she’s offered to go down on him right
that’s you know it

but I while he watches porn which like
the animal version of ourselves like

dude you gotta do that you know he
really not getting I don’t need a

I don’t think that is hot I for me to
keep porn a girlfriend separate like

I would never want my girlfriends
knowing what porn I watch because the

shit that i watch

is it sup I would want in bed with
someone I love

so you’re set and is there also like a
level love I mastered a because I know

what I like the best

there’s a blow job better than me
massively is like inherently a little

debaucherous a little shameful

a little like guilty I don’t think it’s
something you want your girlfriend

involved in you want

hide it from her but at the same time
you

so beer break is a fucking break I don’t
think you can

asker permission to masturbate I think
you have to do it

you live with someone else to do which
is not home do when you’re in the shower

fine time keep it secret how do you
watch know everyone does it you don’t

get this

everyone masturbates everyone watches
porn

you don’t have to like tell your
girlfriend you’re doing it

this guy’s probably in it was like
broken trust relationship so she’s like

if you’re going to other roomie texting
someone

what you doing like no I just run a jerk
off but why would he do that when she’s

out like a TD that

else tells time health time yells time

I yep it doesn’t say that made by do it
which is not at home

be can’t watch for in the shower you can
under phony a search and you have wifi a

strong why buy an iPhone seal on the
shower

you keep your fellow outta the shower
what I mean

if if you like really never leave the
house then I guess unfortunately a

masturbation time is going to be very

very short and secretive so do it in the
shower run the Coldwater Cyn not wasting

hot water

little sample them with the water but i
connect to the wifi maybe go in there

watching videos get yourself

up to yourself excited I them when it’s
time to turn on the shower you

masturbate

five minutes tops but I’m sorry I get it
out hop in the shower

eraser history get out pretend like
nothing happened

if your girlfriend offer to go down on
you while you watch porn would you be

like

pumping your fist yes would you like I
don’t want that I don’t at all

the israeli hot thing in the world to me
interesting

a girl going down on you while you watch
porn is the least hot thing yeah

because you keep those two thick
separate completely separate which one

would you say

feels better just like on a complete
physical level not like an emotional

level

like obviously maybe blowjob feels
better because you’re with someone else

and that’s exciting

the law would you say you say you’re so
good at masturbating yourself that you

physically better than any I was just a
row

yeah guy really thinking about it does
with I

mom turn positive it turned upside to

it the sender can that’s the podcast
river that that email

is if I were you at gmail dot if I were
you show a gmail dot com that’s right

%uh anyway so yeah I think they both
feel really good in their own way

and I think blowjobs are even when
they’re not

um at inextricably linked to a

to emotion like if they were bloodshot
from a stranger

I I think

I blowjobs always feel better
masturbating is a little more

fuckin out there so that I years though
that beats use a Vegas sophie’s choice

yeah it’s like tell you its she’s our
baby did you know

buck added I Cooper back bye yeahh
ballads

I so are our final advice for this guy
is

do when your girlfriends not around yes
she’s never gonna be okay with that we

also never does that masturbating so
just

hide it hide it hide it

don’t fight it she is a hide it

don’t fight it when you look at yourself
this confided

confide in me it’s a conspiracy

yeah white kids youth the yeah

oh oh say can you see I don’t blow me
that

I now are definitely actually at
halftime we try to keep these 2 30

minutes or less sometimes we go over hey

it’s gonna happen where we are right now
%uh honestly

%uh this new recording device that I use
doesn’t calibrate time but I’m guessing

40

35 too long without ever %ah it’s up
there

well yelsin lines up that was very long
Tia

I anyway that’s our time thanks so much
for listening everyone %uh

if you didn’t know we do have a website
if I were you show dot com you can

listen to all the episodes or you can
also go to seize the cheese dot com yep

and pretty soon you’re gonna be able to
watch it on YouTube led to it on YouTube

yeah I ever gonna start uploading this
to YouTube as well

we also have T-shirts swag if you will
whole hash tags lag

I which are you can go to our lives at a
fire you showed a common way there’s

links there to the shirts if you wanna

that’s like another way to support the
podcast but like yeah I just listening

to in spreading the word in

all your positive tweets and emails and
Facebook messages

they really they really make us feel
like on out like a

yeah like we’re doing a real heroes job
I

this then I guess actually should stop
because I don’t want it to go to your ad

that much I really feel like a doctor or

to her so much shit like my cousin was
actually

was actually in the Lower East High
helping a lot like these orphans

I earlier the better ability guards or
whatever but I feel

and I for a minute I felt like allies to
do something to you and then I read a

tweet that that if I were you show is so
funny

and I said you know what fuck you

cousin I better than you I think he’s

se ve 225 live today were reaching tens
of thousands like it’s really a guy

would you advocate against %uh someone
bashing their gropman

heading I you

a the proof is in the pudding

wait no that’s not what that means
nevermind %uh thank you so much for

listening to the show and we’re gonna
end it with another

with another the Sun I’ll right the
songs

you can submit your own like Haley did
at the beginning when Jay proposed to

her

yeah or I love to hear back on you and
all that from you on that by the way

work also gonna play when at the end of
the f7 this one’s from

our boy Harris carlin Harris humor dude

I removed due to enjoy and we’ll be back
next week and every Monday

for the restive time how later

I’m

room

I’m

you

who mmm

mom

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