Episode 16: Drunk


In this episode we get a little tipsy… then discuss homophobia, long distance friendship, and Jake’s family vacation.

This episode is brought to you by Harrys.com – Great shaving products, at a very inexpensive price. Check them out and use coupon code “ifiwereyou” to potentially win free blades for a year!

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guys instead said you

show demand J

diets glassman from season she

mommy’s past eg till if I owe you

I’m alright

has dado now is really tight I like that
has tagged ok shouted out you know it

sounds like the beginning is

Gina care by

that kaci

and I what I thought it was the Red Hot
Chili Peppers would start I

holy shit but instead it was Connell
pritchard who

everyone I think they’ve kinda pretty
does not sound like somebody that plays

folk music had a good time what it felt
like I was like somebody

is it sounds like a republican senator
yeah arlen up its bow if he could not do


senator pro temp mister Richard the
floor is yours

if you guys think is there to do it show

police shooting beautiful ok pass all
the lots

a anyway this is if I were you the only
advice podcast on the Internet

hosted by us unamir and I’m Jacob and

this episode is kinda cool and different
for two reasons

one I called myself jaco I

three reasons I one you call yourself

alright to were drinking during it we’re

drunk as long I more so you than me

well I’m already I showed up here gonna
gotta hide deaf and dumb

if anything I should be drinking coffee
but fought battle good way story

its 9:52 p.m. on Saturday night and we
thought to be fine too

lower drinking I record a according up
is that which is either

a great idea and a lease in a supper
makers funnier or the worst idea ever

had right

yeah I think it’s the second one but
like I just want to get drunk

there’s definitely some people who have
never heard this episode who just heard

that for the first time in turned it off
I put a life

with the two losers get right we should
have been doing this is the video the


because I’m your drinks so rarely that
like I think I’m more excited than

anyone that could possibly be listening
right now right it’s getting like

documented in video because otherwise
people will believe you

I we was the third reason the third
reason well as the

0 you have heard some these questions oh
that’s right usually we I’m

we never know what we’re gonna say but
usually we choose the questions together

and this time I was coming back from a
family vacation

i misss to the the screening up
questions and

I’m going in blind that’s right so these
questions not only a few guys never

heard him but jacob hasn’t heard of them

yeah Jacob so also if I’m not funny
doing this is because I drug

hey did not cause I’ve never heard the
questions if you are usually good on the


it usually take copious notes and bits
and rips that are ready to go over every

possible question

but this time he is completely and
utterly blind about it right should we

let’s take a swig of this a gatorade
bottle that I

filled with vodka yes started will do
that I’ll explain what the rules are

aka so basically we we have an email
address if I were you show at gmail dot


who and people can submit questions you
know when their nest the difficult

placer San Diego over here

you guide you drink this %ah a sticky
situation you email us and we may not be

helpful but

we are going to do our best to make fun
of you and I at least

make you feel a little more light
hearted about your situation that’s

right and you can also email us

if you have a theme song submission
coddled grave gave a great one earlier

and now we need more we always need more

repeat of these okay it is cool how
talented our fan base is this so much

more talented than us

yeah I like all we do is Kentucky lol we
can do is talk

yeah humorously size if you elect
episode 1 I actually play the first the


yeah and yet of life they have although
go back don’t go listen to it with know

that I can strum the guitar

at the very least I can strongly denies
drive it

%uh so these are really emails from real
people we given fake names to preserve

their anonymity that iowa area

at the end yea I already have a theme in
my head because I on

yep so that’s that’s 10 WEA why we get
started as it were

as it were as it weren’t this one comes

Zack Zack I may have fucked up to

of like a veteran sweat gonzo the great
here are a few clothes actors kill just

give the bonus question that’s what we
do a little Bubba cocaine here you go

see with I I do you know if the vote

idk posted %uh areas once from Zacks
allow you to do some cocaine

you a friend not doing coke a article

Facebook you i read your bad enough
drinking on these god damn thing

its money they said %uh because my
brother Ben said that

that’s one of his favorite bits that you
do and even other if you knew that it

was a bit oo is it like

when I was a 0 yeah you dislike whenever
you go to like

hey I hate myself and 00 I wake up
without you know they’re

yeah I love it 0 because it felt like
playful and positive

dope CTV doing cocaine and 10

I’m the worst human being in the world a
Google looks

I’m suicidal depressed my bad

I I am bad food aright aright aright

hair first question this one comes from

my deal is I’ve been single for a long
time after a series of terrible

relationships and I’ve kinda reached the

thinking maybe I’m better off alone
however I’ve met this really sweet girls

lie like a lot

and I think she likes me to do but I’m
worried that if we get together the


will share the same fate as all the
others have I’m sure

I serious shit don’t wanna hurt this
girl I’m a little scared of being hurt

again to

I guess my question is every
relationship you’ve had in the past

failed miserably

what do you what would you guys do towed
after being awesome

sincerely Zack cheeses Christ about like
in anybody’s I

I was like I was this is like up label
shit yeah I like your

we go bud good now I think I might cry I
just drank a fifth the vodka

dare me to cry i buy me exactly I do
believe in love

who’ve well this resonate with you at
all I A

you know what I think it resonate at all
I P resonates with me a little too much

um yes shit the I

but you think it’s but like maybe if
everyone has one person

then you’re gonna go through a lot and a
in till you find that one person that

one person that makes you realize that
maybe I relationships were doing because

you think you are a smart person

do you think everyone has one person
probably not and very logical

mathematical there’s probably you know

if like your your soul mate is one in a

there’s what 606 thousand of them on

right that’s a nice that’s kinda
actually you know it’s logical that is

it sorta nice to think about it

like that here’s where I’m coming from I

I agree with you a little bit there’s I
don’t think there’s such thing as one

person for everybody

so I think that there’s so many people
the tooth out there and you have been

able to do it yet sack

I think there’s something wrong with you
of big guy US I can tell about talking

to that girl looking in a mirror right

but I think I think you’re a monster

so what will I discovered if anything
he’s very self-aware a saying that

he’s had terrible relationship the sort
of RT blaming himself in his

afraid that he’s gonna hurt this girl
who will give Lee you absolutely will

have a better pray W will

here’s another thing maybe all those
relations as we’re doomed because

they were the first second third
relationship you had maybe you have to

go through

title relationships to realize the to
find out what you want to get better

when you’re drunk you are you get you
get more pie

to see if your one you’re more
experienced than to your older

so with age comes wisdom with experience
comes with them and maybe this is the

girl that turns it all around I believe
in true love you should stay together


and I Zack I think you are a a jerk at
the human actually

yeah I’m not okay I’m with you I fuckin
yeah I totally

that’s a it’s true you get better

with time you learn you grow and maybe

since you since you’ve got all these bad
relationships and your bell

you’re ready you know what it takes to
that to not let a good thing go

yet you don’t preemptively break up with
someone because I love your previous

relationships or bad right at the very
least I wouldn’t do that I just go into

it with an open mind and

at just try to not be so hard on
yourself that being said Zack if this

one fails

I mean at four I feel like you youth
reached your threshold

you had the entire above Fe and it’s
time to go home that’s enough yeah full

sir at okay really that is not all that

I could be a ring a bell cuz yeah more
than four build relationships and a

I’m not trying again to tell let’s do
this let’s hit the town tak

mean you picture mean you at this table
drinking a vodka Gatorade

who got that the thats weird for me
because that where it was up with me

I don’t know me and Zac Efron who could
mail it smell a podcast I got to dot


I boom alright thanks for writing in
Zack put up

to die rather let’s go on to question
number two

must in 20 numero duo this one comes

AC Slater I’m still trying to figure out
the feedback

I good Jack I know her now I’ll

how about to start my freshman year of
college after talking to my roommate

I think he might be gay which I have no
problem with

I know that just because he’s gay does
not mean he will try anything with me

but it would make me uncomfortable if he
did end up hitting on me

what would you do if that happened and
how should I handle overnight guests

even if he straight I don’t know what to
do if he brings a girl home

I’ll I Physiol started out so

seemingly positive saying oh you know he
might be gay without a problem led

but it seems like he does have a problem
right it’s so subtle

what if he did end up hitting on me i
thinkin good now

if you tell you what based on this
question you’re not anyone’s type

I your

I is mean I love that such a funny thing
I I got a guy I was

probably I guess you know in Cape like
fault I’m totally cuz he’s up

he’s like 17 years old and I was
probably that down

like all met my roommates gay what he
hits on me you’re not that fuckin I

and everyday guy in the world that when
you are down the street do you imagine

when you’re walking down three every
girl wants you

yeah why would you assume that for every
guy I go if I go to any like situate I

go into a situation taking that some
girls gonna be hitting on me

that’s know yourself love yourself I’ve
ever realize that a good way to find out

like how

homophobic you’re actually being is too
late replace gay with the nationality

and just at that it makes it cum office
so much more

racists for example I think he might be
black which I have no problem with

I just know that just because he’s black
doesn’t mean I’ll try anything but it

would make me uncomfortable the ended up
talking to me

what would you do how would you handle
over a over I guess even if he’s white

I don’t know what to do if he brings
home a girl yeah

that put into perspective they know they
say few

you’re a meanie you you’re not as open
minded as you think

your small-minded at but you know what

about expand your horizons so I
personally hope is gay

maybe you need that maybe you’d me to
not be so close minded

and you know if he does it on you I i
personally hope you wanna kiss him on

the mouth back

yeah because you know what college is
about new experiences

and he does if you straight bi bring
someone home then hop into bed with them

ok okay suddenly you’re having a budget

you only instead two girls and a guy its
three dudes

and a pizza place I oh that per pair

a I don’t know what to tell this guy how
should I handle overnight guests

what does that mean college thats I
think it went for like an one is a

sort of a weird you know homosexual

homophobic question the other was just
like very standard Kotli will I do my

roommate brings that someone home

yeah I don’t know leave or stay there
and try to sleep

have you ever been sexiled me yeah

um my roommate freshman year god bless

he was a good man and God bless that he
is he dead it was a good man I I know is

that that is that right I said I doubt
anyone other podcast my roommate can

it low by Cherryvale a big-name

I my my roommate Ryan

I nice in head and I a perfect if

I didn’t they can my roommate Ryan I

he didn’t have anyone sleepover during
my freshman year

and did you %ah you know I think I i
think that I had a couple

guests over freshman year but you didn’t
segues I’ll ken

no you wanted to be there for you sick

I you got out that the fact that

there was I and guided sister you on an
empty here that you needed him to hear


I deep down in places you don’t talk
about it parties

you you can ride and hmm

you lieutenant can II yet I think

well this is the kinda sexy about like
we have to be quiet no

yeah but it’s never as quiet as you
think it is in your head you like Notre

peeks out quietly while the relay

and they kept the next there’s like not
really talk to me like how was last


are we talking about I just going to bed
I heard your mushy humping yeah

you can’t you can’t silence the sound

too wet genitals rubbing up against each
other you’re not a fucking because it

was the best

wedge sandals and fruit on springs that
was it

you station beautifu done in your dorm

yeah do that sort of a beast in that
regard what a pic

I is yeah a bit like your 28 years old

still bragging about having a food done
yeah actually man

her listen to this year we ended up
going to Walmart freshman year

haha we bought the bed so we had all
this space CEO’s oh yeah

and I we ended up getting this food town
for us thing 99 bucks

I you realize it was tight I was a beast
in that regard in the fruit fruit on the

speaking I was sure the beast mode
throughout college

order those in middle dinghies you know
those say and you

and I don’t know he really like I’m
getting it up to the top of the third

floor on the house floor hall

I get you can’t do that can you get is
moving your old furniture

um I mean I guess if you’re a beast

the in that regard the deans order as
like this that this beast clause

agree to release your tax your love you
anyway let’s have a foot and

a college that totally you can lock your
own bed in at a foot on underneath it

yeah I mean I as a positive rules for
different colleges but the four then I

went to

for column actually feeling a little
drug right now are you but

pretty tipsy raichel usually hits me
when I stand up a center for psych

I’m afraid to I just fall over I’m not
my microphone over

good um one more question then a break
or should we take the break now

look too let’s try to do over causing
that really with went off the deep end

without one I

we started out talking about homophobia
and headed to talk about my food Todd

you a how to get there when a long walk
we took

alright an this one is from

screech back I was invited

to go on a trip with my girlfriend and
her mom will be driving for 20 hours

straight and I’d like to spend time with
my girlfriends the thing is

her parents are really mean and her dad
doesn’t know that I am coming

he’s not even going on the trip so I
don’t wanna piss them off if he finds

out because he’d never approve a me
going what should I do

what well I think we got this guy to lay
I think this trip party happen but what

a weird weird weird

the dad would be pissed to find out that
you went on the trip that he didn’t go


the pair’s both hate you but the mom
still down to bring you

Cooper as long as you how I this from
her husband help you

who would be livid to find out that you
went on the trip with her and his mom

and you want to go on this

terrible terrible trip so you can spend
time with your girlfriend in secret

with her mom who hates you this guy is

lovably nice I feel like we usually have
questions that make me hate

are question ask urs but this guy seems
like an amazingly

kinda soul right he’s like I mean he’s
considering going on this trip

yet despite the fact that both her
parents hate him

and he’s going to be in the car with the
mom and the dad would disapprove if you

found out you know what you said amazing
what a hero

maybe he’s like an asshole but is
question is worded in such a nice way

player is like a very emotionally
abusive boyfriend like high wire he

sided with them

anyway I don’t know if I should go
because my goal for the real whale

I tell all the time you but I don’t want
to share a hotel room with their

that Orica that she Orica um

I get afraid I don’t have a hostess
hoser down when we get to the dry hotel

room of

that is not fair but that’s what he said
did I hope

yeah I remember utility Duke

it seems like you should

if I were you thing I know you’re gonna
say hide in the trunk

world yeah hide in the Joe and then at
every gas station have the

have to celebrate heard on the news the
other day maybe six I

giant a beer always always vaguely
trying to quote

stand by Evan and does now how many
references have you picked up

so far less up is that um

what should you do I guess if your gonna
be with your girlfriend even despite the

fact that her parents

don’t like you I I guess spend as little
time as possible with the parents or

spend as much time as possible trying to
well over

doesn’t then the pair’s ongoing does not
there but you know you gotta do is when

the mom over

I did Obama over a especially on a road

long drive like I’ll let me let let me
take the wheel you

you’re tired I’m gonna I can drive IMing
IMing IMing a

I was here I really was the yeah yeah i
really wanna call me out

reiterate yeah he said okay %uh you
wanna this 1i read the question is that

you like up

%uh no I could barely breathe I a later
time I really a regular a hacer I

noticed actually

cut us move man I fuckin love you dear
diver get hurt

this year the breast to your funny other
hockey hockey read is that it at 2

minutes or less making out I play

you only use it i know i think is your

this is the chance to get Inc an a and
the mom’s good side have ever had a pair

dislike you um yeah I i’ve had to win
parents over before

I love them because they view I remember
my first girlfriend

I when I first met her I just dropped
out of college

I just got out my second column Sidra I
was filled out one real bad see dropped

out of another

yeah and her dad that he had worked in
an ice cream store and I was like

you like he was going nowhere alegria
this when I was 20

20 dropped out after pill that %uh to
college is working at an ice cream store

in this is your girlfriends nearly three
months before I met you

Wow you can imagine see you wear okay

got it fresher freshly 20 joined eyebrow
2006 library

I had the eyebrow ring so nobody like
you and guide you took that out before

you work the college your

yeah I would have been known as that
loser forever it’s true I V there’s like

other apps other words how his first and
crutches that we called on crutches for

four years I

you would never live down the aisle them
we wouldn’t be where we are if I start

with an ivory

I guarantee would not I would now want
to hang out with you now

that’s how close minded and small I am
the wrong way the guy that was where

there’s roommate gay that i’ve landed
here is

USA you guys to be roommates who am I to
judge is what you’re saying

but I i remember it I mean if you really
like the girl this is why this web with

me as really like the girls I stuck
around and

eventually they like you cuz I think
with the parents ultimately want

something that’s good

her daughter yeah I don’t brag a lot but
here’s one really big

brag that I have is that I’m great with
girlfriend’s parents

I can see that I think I’m great with
middle-aged women in general

your great with parasitemia you just
came here just came on vacation and talk

with my family

it when you left %ah number one that we
had a bad day

said it was just not as fun which is
what I hoped for

and I what I hope when I leave you guys
have a bad day new pin it on me not to

we were at the beach and my mom was like
you know I really feel like I’m year as

part of the family

wow and and like that something my mom

might say about multiple people cuz he
sorta like flowery like that but she


my sisters and my dad agree that your
dad my dad who i

I don’t know if you think that i’m for
the camera I

you I think your dad called me this
study you wishes he had ever had

yet to thugs any like the mir

but yeah everybody was like I feel so
comfortable around a beer and beers

amused by the fam why do you think that
is I guess

because I think because you were just
like joking around with people

and you like sense if you’re yeah but
also look at bill in a Tigers like

leave a room and you’ll be fine right
well I guess I’m very comfortable your


the other ideas I did make one mistake
which is when you came here tonight

I I’d bought a football and a frisbee
for the house to have in quotations

everyone was very touched by that
gesture because the guys that have a

football and a frisbee

then when I let us but we played
football we play with the frisbee that’s

great to hear

yeah I we played a great game a family
football I

everyone had fun that’s right that’s an
amazing gift that I gave but then when I

landed I jokingly texted Jake

hey just realized I want slash need the
football and frisbee

which is like a joke we would make
though I was I never said just kidding


I thought you thought I was kidding I
again for the beach I had so many tax

like so many emails and I just saw that
I was like okay got it

and then you came over today you just
got back to nantucket you had the book

on the company you gave it to me back

we’re fairly big summer you can
selectively coveted be right now like i

fuck that out

be really bad but that out so use in the
market so why are you taking the

football for the oye Mira

ap he didn’t you want it back that so
fucking petty is he doesn’t want you

guys to have it anyway it was nineteen
dollars it occurred to me like

it didn’t even occur to me that it was
weird that you want it back a

I was never even like cheese I thought
this was for us see didn’t like you are

like offended when asked where no I was
just like

only but he wants it what it mean when
gesture for me to give a gift for four

days and then demanded back

I thought he is wanted a football to
have to pull it would close football

yeah we played with a plywood like
football to have you

but now I have it on the wrong pretense
I don’t want to know what pal

look at this oh my god you showing me

this is the same route with this is
proba- both as I other than a week ago

I we fight we’re finally drunk I

we did it that did edit edit edit edit
but guess is two hours long

that was that what does that count as a
break I with a set of

as I do right that was a love letter I
told you you’re part of my family and

then we talked about how I’ve

I can actually buy a homophobe up food
that was beautiful thing 0

here’s another thing that I want to
mention that the big guy in the middle

the show which is where we’re at now

%uh last week he we talked about

a single called Uncle Jesse who is
debating whether or not he should hook

up with his neighbor

I said it was a terrible idea you said
it was a good idea and then you went on

to say that

but you’re exactly said I believe I said

if he was asking us that he already has
and I got an email

or text messages from Uncle Jesse and he
confirmed that Yorker I was right you


yeah I

it so he said he was very impressed by
your call that he had already hooked up

that you made the has tagged oh how did
you know that

cuz that’s me shit

that’s how I operate but I also got an I
got an update on the situation this is

our first updated situation

hand I’m enthralled

the update is though she was a little
too pushy this week lot a texan she even

called knocked on my door one night so I
put the kibosh on ur

told her we should be buds and I said oh
said your credit or not

he said I do not regret it because
nothing crazy stalker has happened

at least yet there we go no regrets

I YouTube look at you like you’re right

it now I guess you’re right but that
that specific situation that could be it

could’ve been a lot worse it could get a
lot worse

right now that’s up the call knockers is
definitely tough that is that the

dangers territory yeah that’s a red flag
for sure yeah I think was good put the

kibosh on Italian

but at least he he did like you called I
had already slept with their

yeah that’s amazing hey you know what
local law firm other than the five

I is somewhere to gather and you don’t
get it he really

Yahoo but the wave is low but then this
podcast airs he’s already sleeping with

her again

if you got out there he’s gonna like
Babe Ruth Florida left field he’s

planning at a girls vagina that I i
doing to you but what is it saturday

right now

yeah by monday you factor again friend I
do not think that’s too

let’s do it I wanna go to Paterno teller
not him

I boom a mercy alright

air ago Jesse that is light breezy oh
yeah have mercy

have mercy I this is a question from
Lisa turtle

is also very sweet sentimental question
nice so set your brain to that

ready good evening gentlemen my best
friend and I are currently about to face

the worse predicament imaginable

we are being forced to break up interest
in separate directions sailing alone in

the sea life

to choose burt his people in a bit I

my best friend is going away to college
an hour and a half away from me and

deeply depressed because we do
everything together we work together

hang out together live in the same small

we are what you say cripple the obsessed
with each other I can go one freaking

day without our people at work often say
being around you to make you want to

kill myself

I don’t understand why I think they’re
just jealous over hash tag dope

relationship don’t understand or
abnormal sense of humor

my question to you brilliant fellows is
how will I ever live without my partner

in crime by my side

how do you guy how do you think you guys
would live without each other

sincerely Lisa turtle this is really
really perfect for this podcast because

now I like a little tipsy in

feeling a little sentimental mmm but
that’s what happens in college

your high school friends drift apart but
its not permanent

Lisa turtle it’s not and just because
this girls parlay she’s not even that

far less is only an hour a half away

yes not bad at all yeah you know up to
encouraging things

number one %uh most have a mere spreads

I know this about you are from high
school right I did make any friends at


and I i was like a mean angry college
kid some would say I

alienated myself because I figured I
still though not the Berkeley campus


as a hermit as an alien has a troll as
an alien herwitz role Yap

a and I also did something very similar
i don’t have a single friend

from they spoke from Hunter College
where I went to college interesting no


%ah and I say present like it’s my
school that’s how it goes

if your fate you guys get can’t stay
friends though that’s not to say that

you should make friends in college I
think we’re both

a no I think you’re crazy or if she
wants to make this relationship work she

wouldn’t speak to anyone else make

any single other friend because you’re
all that she needs

but you know another thing is I moved to

two years ago yeah and we me in a mere
were separated for an entire year

that’s true but it was the most
difficult year for my life completely

unrelated to you live in LA I was like
yeah I mean anything

getting the right i mean I was they got
their direction

and I think I in a weird Turner that I
stubbed my toe every hour for you

I I thought I had to get a weird format

good but it wasn’t say I would have got
every hour on the hour pain to rats like

some sorta weird brown dog there I would
just stubbed my toe every top of the


I think the I think that you guys can
stay friends especially with only an

hour have a way to stay in touch

by give each other space still have you
don’t want to be the friend thats like

get jealous if she’s going out for a
maybe she’s gonna make a third friend

you guys the star trio

a tribe yeah three have a kind there you

or or if she makes a new friend shield
abandon year which is also already

chilly outside in

all mines is over and it’s so funny and
then you’ve got a real guy hang out in

%um around I would really like Miranda
just because like she’s not really your

CEO yeah Julian Wright’s look mean you
do something you know because mean

render gonna go get high

I’ll you guys yeah yeah we do drugs now
I can you don’t right now you don’t like

it I loved right now is telling I don’t
really like

huh small I have a high as a kite you’re
faking it Moreno like does it for

re-election was in

fuckin re alright speak you know that
the fourth question is Miley time I

we begin drug test back at but now I do
lol bill Molly

Lebel cocaine you a

pop the fourth question or sweat well I

so yes there is there is hope for you
yet Lisa turtle you’ll totally there’s


and you know it now it’s even easier
would like Skype I remember trying to

video chat

%uh what is now my ex girlfriend when I
was in college in 2002

it was the most rudimentary like half
ass like River the Logitech webcam Cyrus

a year

like it upgraded every like two frames
the league barely hear that all you

cared about was just screen showing the
one time she showed your test

Google not necessarily that but yeah but
now like you can FaceTime you can have

like a real life video chat

from your phone without wifi it’s crazy
and it’s only getting better and better

yeah I mean I remember having Logitech a
delay I on the cutting edge

I could not imagine like real time faced

the holy shit was so low quality in my
College of a 100 percent still be

together that exist

I could guarantee it the only thing that
split is a fire was the frame rate at

which we can video

I nothing else to literally nothing else

%uh mercy I have to stop saying that

I prove alright well you they end up
that most users

over if you’re not allowed to have that
because it’s someone else’s kids race I

I’ll definitely not I’m still working on
things that you never hear

up to a picture viewer base that there’s
oh my word for it I

even more a good

%ah hacer de IRA

Han an hour and a half hour mark let’s
get through one

more question a Tomas let’s do it

let’s seize the cheese and squeeze one
squeeze one more and more sway from this

gate or a

highnesses again silly now

do you guys think this is a good idea or
bad idea we think people think

I feel like you know what I think I
think people think it was a good idea at

the top like the others is funny

and about but by the end yeah I bet
there’s gonna be a lot of questions

they’re like hey

your little she created know how to
understand your words being slaughtered

like I could

I’m not quick witted right now do you
understand the words that are coming

into my mouth

do you understand there is there cuz I
don’t know that this is an Independence


know it no oh clock CS lab I thought
those wheels with an Independence Day

its Chris Tucker in rush hour that’s
right holy shit welcome to earth

I’m just afraid that like much in real
much like in real life when you’re drunk

you just assume everyone loves you but
then when you’re sober driver till he is

the yeah like I was there that

so I’ll tell you built by VA

Cup near you goal at Slough I love you
like a love that’s about it I’m see its

lol okay

you no well like in my mind that

also this is so fun you and the thing is
people listen to podcasts

at their most sober there at work there
at the GM their number IDM commute

through traffic

it’s my Saturday night drunk as fuck
ready to go out in lower Manhattan you

know I’m sad

how is that fair had a type full-time
game in college got

listened listen okay I was on that type
food time six

i buggin lifted it up turn it into a bad
when necessary let you know better than

to do is over but as a result that’s
being can ride

he played batted euro-zone ummm added
you guys play

I actually played bad night is the night
I had no idea what people actually

getting food to do you guys

you played you have a video game that
you quit with a freshman year college

no on earth a video games

idea I you let’s let’s get those those
final drive

I love everybody has he located I
remember thinking I want to break my

roommate Halo game in half

so they could have played a more
apparent this new CD snapping to do

that’s what I wanted to do just break in
half and put it back in the box that’s

what that’s a halo two is actually you

11 half in the you put the broken CDN
alright one last question mister

building rights

fake name real question really email
real person

so I’m a junior at University of
Washington and I’m a political science


I’ve straight days and going to law
school after graduation

my girlfriend on the other hand is a
sophomore in college I’m not a pedofile

and is majoring in philosophy she always
compares our workloads and says that I

have it so easy

she has bad grades it isn’t going
anywhere in life and ice where she wants

to move job me when I’m a lawyer

so I break up with her and date is smart
girl is tonight

here around for the sex I

%uh dying over here you thought about
that it’s

you absolute that’s all I love your
photos with a BB you read that question

because like even if I didn’t understand
the words union is no doubt did listen

to what you say

you’re like your reader that his if
filled with hate for that guy

this is probably the worst person that’s
ever written in red you said I don’t

like dumb ass groped

yes if that’s the way you think I’ve
your girlfriend she should dump you

we should bucking find out who she is
and be like hey

I your boy for the god mp3 share who
doesn’t appreciate you

I cannot believe that you would write
such a rude email

about someone you’re supposedly in love
with you know we should do is answer

this question

in his perfect world this is what you
want this answer to be ready

is holy shit appear beautiful October
rights in

I’m getting straight days ago to law
school after graduation tonight duck my

body are you

doing something with his life I mean
this girl is the FBI

for lunch and I’m you got to get rid of
the dead weight is holding you back

she thinks her works as hard as you no I
don’t think so when you’re a lawyer

you know the kind the pool you’re gonna
be able poll goes that respect you girls

that know

your million times smarter and a million
times more successful than they could


be handed over all sounds like a real
she really does sound like a great day

poonanny with a rather bad grades he’s
not going anywhere

I agree with you see not going anywhere
to you i think is one step further

most girls are actually like this girl
so good luck finding a girl who

appreciates you for the awesome man

you are this is what you do you keeper
for the sex obviously you got to get

your D dub

up on but at the same time once you find
the hot lawyer shaky gotta cut that ball

and chain of letters 0 the plot
initiated manage your a piece a shit

I understand that you support the
podcast that you listen that you wrote

in it holy shit I

I can appreciate that by Raza from
Harry’s battalion what I

tell you what ya visualize that was so
you can listen to

how that you’re done you cut off

which is this the pros tired blood gases
through that we demanded that the one

not stay with it

and that’s for now all that’s the goal.
the TV yet our podcast we cut someone


we kick ed can you please give week we
honor that could you please never leave

where you at this point

I would be proud to call you not a fan
yeah but

I would be honored if you never heard my
voice you hated me I would take that as

a as a as a badge on I really what

as more than a couple etc because ok
you’re alone

yellow those for bed

I’ll mercy numbers here yeah

this guy’s a terrible terrible person
yet should I break up with Mike

girlfriend yes do break up with her but
not for the reason that you’re thinking

about breaking up their breakup with
their because you don’t respect ur

has a little like a little bit of a
silver lining here %uh hopefully open

your eyes as to what a

me you can be maybe you should start
respecting your girl friend for majoring

in something that she loves

and struggling with her grades because
sometimes worked is not are

school does not come as easy as it does
for you and maybe you can

you know maybe you should recover this
girlfriend but maybe the next to you

have a little bit more empathy

that’s true nobody’s exactly like you
and that’s okay that being said

please never listen to this podcast
again guys if he had done

if everyone else can tell one other
person to because we really don’t wanna

viewership drop

yeah yeah because our viewership is
going up right now I really hate for a


yeah like a I’m I look at the numbers in
like if we don’t hit thirty thousand in

the first week like I’m gonna blame this
dude because like he’s gonna stop


so small you can just tell one person
I’d really appreciate that your

personally would appreciate a personally
really would and I’d personally like to

come to break your iPod

I isabel de mister dead as askin

I yeah actually has has this

white got a glittery something with my
life I’m a fucking a lawyer

course is a lawyer lawyers are in
general terrible people

my father’s aware he called the part of
the family not but

48 hours ago maybe I’m the small-minded
area that %ah same here is the at the

I and I said I was returned to appear
you’re in fact he wants all his

possessions back everything that he gave
me I know you

purchase some food for the house he was
the chips bag the remainder the cookies

you can imagine how small that is I i do
regret saying that about lawyers I know

a lot of realization that said that

laser stereotypically a have everybody
that’s not my lawyer sucks

yeah everybody that every lawyer that I
don’t know itself but with the ones that

I know are great people

I yeah an hour more than at a time but
thanks so much for listening everyone

we hope you enjoy the steps that as much
as we enjoyed having it

let us know you think that we enjoy
drinking yet another

through hook here’s a small mercy such
IP time

I said someone throw you think he’s that
out to you

they are you don’t sound alike mercy

mercy um here’s the thing you guys can
do to support the show if you’re at your


a it would really help if you subscribe
to the show on iTunes we stop calling

out for that but that really is helpful

other people the finest there there I is
raking I it’s pretty easy just searched

a clear on that I tell

iTunes podcast or you find a fire you
this is how drunk you to as i deleted by

Lee players I there’s a buzz as a
subscriber edges starts downloading the

apps that autumn at the you know I have
to listen to ideas yeah

hey listen I call it a night eyes out I
was supposed to be three day but I used

Acura I’m

I think you think it’s that more than
half that they’re not as well as we are

pregaming at the goddam postgame show

leads us out at the buzzer their you %uh

say yes please subscribe and keep
listening to it any way you can

and a thank you so much for listening
literally everybody except for mister

building you are tell you if you take

and every day we’re gonna close the show
by showing one more listening to you are

hearing one more are showing are playing
I was playing

is broken his blank laying out playing
phase II

got a reporter program to merely a ruse
hey we’re gonna and the show by playing

one more theme songs emissions that we
gotta keep em coming You guys are so

talented we love you all except for
mister building this one is from

Charlie please enjoy thanks so much for
listening but everybody

if do you

from me

now you

I’m and I i consume

now you don’t know me


you see there you weighing withstand


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