Episode 161: Honor (w/Dan Gurewitch!)

Friend and “Last Week Tonight” writer Dan Gurewitch joins us to discuss jealousy, office romance, and making jokes about the news.

This episode is brought to you by NatureBox, TrunkClub, and MeUndies!

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that was Anderson dan you’re a musician
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musician what do you think about that
claims and am a professional musician

yeah

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pianists

I thought that was very very good it
reminded me over

my days at Carnegie Hall really yet how

yes and high praise I was taken back to
universal love my finest performances

a where you’re just like sky politic
that acoustic guitar

turning the other in Mighty Mighty
Bosstones I realize I was the Leeds

the lead skanker I lost thousands it

yeah there was a guy in that band that
does danced yea with yeah I was the only

with steak

he would do with the Plano instruments
sing those songs which is dead and that

was me

I you don’t have to have that part that
for the crowd to

yeah I don’t have that part in the the
battle it out a lot energy into the

performance

yeah this all the way that I clutched my
knee and they said this is the guy for

us that’s like a part to play

where you just sit on the stage in you
look at it I

you shouldn’t get paid for that that
about part in the play

I Alexander Semin reagan

who has the band pictures I’ll Vernon
and a good band name get pictures a

Vernon dot band camp dot com if you
wanna hear morn

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DNG killers are first time on a podcast

yeah thank you for having me how would
our fans know you the most

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humor dot com he was a writer and actor

that’s right often in videos with you
too YouTube

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now with the hungry doing you left
college here two years ago

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gets I

you are very combative on this podcast
yeah

like that nor did you even get a job
yeah I was expecting a friendly

conversation lol

it’s a with his double team our guest
now you can catch up when you walked in

UK you

got to the door we’ve put a mic in your
face and played that song preet right

yeah you were I Amir need me in the
groin pain

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the guy

I I am NOT what i doing now I write for
last week tonight with John holler what

else do you do

like that’s not a job site right but not
for long allowed what you know you

play in a designer /subtype their career
then guess what when you don’t have that

job

who are you what are your waste of time
space r8

your motivational speaker is what you
are yeah

which is good because actually got fired
from John Oliver W ago

I for not doing any work after

I just sat in my office writing my
motivational speeches and they’re like

this isn’t going to cut it girl into
this is now what we do here

of course not yet yeah a

alright will get in we’ll get into that
shit later but

the do you know what this podcast is ado
yeah

its rule if you don’t for anybody
listening it doesn’t it’s an at bat

Fernanda Ferrari after people listening

that is an advice pa castle answer
emails that we get to if are you show at

gmail dot com

and as such as Jake and I offering
advice and sometimes we have

a friend to slash comedienne your female
if you’re a it because I am a female

comedian a desk

and today’s comedienne and happens to be
dan commute and early test their

I did you like my cell comedies like
unlike the pretty girl but as there are

giving

0 play shock yeah shocking I

but you never heard a girl talk about
head lice Israel macbeth shock

in are a isotherm Sears or to the
modern-day Margaret show

i’m a i’m actually a I came before my
trip to Hull really as I don’t like

people described as a modern-day
Margaret

when did you start doing stand-up IRAs
and I was seven years old

an art show came to see me at a school
function and he was in a talent show

what lactation it was a function
believing that if there was a open mic

get catch a rising star

I bet on the Upper East Side New York
City

and I thought everything channel’s hell
do you think the youngest stand-up

comedian like

to do well as like has there been a
15-year-old stand-up comedian

already have to be at their most men are
in and I’ll

likely davidson’s like it wasn’t like
nineteen regatta honestly I talk about

it with her 13-year-old like I think
it’s pretty funny actually

I yeah at but there’s a good
eight-year-old commute

yeah this is definitely a youtube search
that would yield results

happen but I don’t wanna do I don’t want
to like phone it in and do what I you

dogs who likes to tell you want to do it

would like congress comedian doing crowd
where yeah it was like holy shit this

kid’s good are being like a really
honest

yeah I said he’s like I’m getting to
know him on stage yeah

like I’m like and even want to limit it
to guys like I wanna seven-year-old girl

who’s fucking

up there killing at to their bring in
that %uh tahun

I

would have been funnier Funny are a
performance art is just like a comedian

coaching and eight-year-old on what to
say

so he’s on stage thing like some pretty
raunchy shit

that and I shouldn’t give that secret
work because I’m gonna deal one day

a alright said and these are really
emails from real people

we’re going to give them fake names to
preserve the anonymity sure

kinda interesting one right off the bat
we never done I’ve ever owned you have

ever slept in and said someone’s name

yes definitely goodnight nearly every
other up

I carry let’s call this guy Philip hey
guys my name is John shit

I a

about your weird Penistone so ignorant
Guinea all

I’ll tell you what is interesting but
can you guys a fake guy’s name

3 anything you up I mean has to be
adored

threatening I button could see you have
heard the ship

I just loved him a Tony P the paper you
said you are dope

year ago a water rights may guys

I’m in a committed relationship with my
girlfriend but I have a crush on a girl

from work

be in the girl from work flirt a little
bit everyday

I don’t intend to actually do anything
but I do like flirting and the girl

doesn’t know I’m in a relationship

there’s no chance that my girlfriend
finding out as we’re in a long distance

is this all okay and

this is why I said it’s cutting unique
because three weeks later

we got an email that seemingly for from
either this girl

or a girl in that borderline same exact
predicament

but the other side cya think I want to
read that

if you have a female a

I mean it’s gotta be at war dead yeah a

Edward et wrote this game I these are
three weeks apart

I started a new job in January and had
to move to a new city and so far it’s

been amazing the people at work have
been super lovely particularly this one

guy

he was chatty charming and lovely and we
both had a lot in common and soon enough

I became smitten however later on I
found out he was in a relationship

bit of a bummer but no big deal always
good to have friends so he ended up

inviting me to an Australia Day party
with his friends since I was new in the

city and it was kinda fun

he warned me of one of his mates and
chatted to me for most at the party

this friendliness continued for a while
but gotta lotta

got a little bit internet with stuff
like drinks after work just the two of

us

dinners snapchat all the time texting
each other until late

and even taking our lunch breaks
together lying on the grass near the

ocean in chatting

its even gone so far as pizza and
Netflix at my house

alone this is all just friendly and
while he is with his girlfriend I

wouldn’t touch with a ten-foot pole but
it is getting strange he compliments me

a lot and I quite like hearing about it

and start to get a bit of a crush on him

to and now it’s super messy I’m not sure
what to do or say at this point I don’t

wanna keep this

up cuz I’m just as responsible as he is

and I don’t want this friendship pushing
the boundaries

and it sounds like totally not cool. so
what would you do

if I were you that’s already gotten

much farther than I would have thought
that it would get bill yet it sounds

like you like

up almost about to be like ads we’re
delayed gave me this reaction then we

let

I walk down the aisle and now we kinda
like have a house together

where Mary Mary that they get to the
boring part of a relationship without

having sex

yeah it’s a network to was like that’s
what you do when you if you’re tired of

fucking some yeah exactly

the so what are your thoughts in general
about flirting all in a relationship

Obama I guess well i i surrenders I’m at
both

both questions as much as they just as
yourself would you flirt if you’re in a

relationship really kinda got sick I’m
in a relationship

I can even be slightly charming to any
girl no I mean I think that

I think it’s okay to Lake have
flirtatious conversations here and there

I think that once you’re escalating till
like one-on-one

drinks and pizza Netflix that starts to
build a strange ray

I think there’s like a difference
between being a flirtatious person you

know thirty with a buncha people at a
party

in men like a one-on-one flirtation
affair

is different because you’re like honing
in on one person that you seem to care

about but hat

it’s almost like why even say go down
that road as flirting is fun and

harmless

but if you’re working you’re flirting
with people Luke I can feel your problem

but I think that’s fine

as long as it’s like I just believe his
eyes you’re doing it liberally its okay

yeah I think there’s a difference also
between like flirting thats like

occasionally is saying something
charming and kinda playful

including that’s like like hitting on
somebody yeah I make this dude told her

not to go home with someone else

yeah possessive yet so weird he CIA’s to
is basically saying

don’t hook up with that guy because I
made or may may or may not break up with

my girlfriend soon and I want you to be
like

right fresh for me yeah I think that
well as the

really gross where I

way to be okay word I have ever you as
soon as she my head

for you to be fresh for me but is now it
is that

because wrap yourself up in a vacuum
pack and the

his body is where the night yeah
listings everybody’s stores like we had

in the attic

you to scroll know what are those and
not move for a couple months while I

figure I can make you super super I

no I in a backyard or you will my winter
jacket like a japanese porno I why the

deal is be absolutely vacuum
hermetically sealed Lego Honus Wagner

baseball card

I hoodie be worth as much as Basel

the market with me and I it sounds like
he is

that’s that’s unhealthy because it
sounds like he is is like trying to

have it both ways and keep her around
while he figures out his own

relationship buddy where do you draw the
line what’s bad

let’s cheating in what’s flirting I
guess just

and the podcast I we don’t have finally
held down

we blew it arm looks like one other
things why play with fire this it will

consider flirting at work in an
adventure will become a work function

and then you wanna see the girl and you
talk to her at a party in Atlanta I’m

getting closer and closer and closer
lets where the line is I think there’s a

call different factors at play

one like I said before are you flirting
with a lot of people are you flirting

with one person because

flirty is harmless having a crush on
someone’s not harmless

right rate you can flirt with people
without really like you members happy

like that

a flirtatious nature but they would you
like somebody then you start like

only flirting with that person that’s a
problem

but also kinda matters what your
significant other thinks about flirting

me because no matter what their opinion
is a bit like

it’s something that really upsetting and
then you have to

adjust accordingly yeah I tend to be a
fairly jealous person I think like I

don’t I’d like to think that I’m not but
Lake

I A there’s never been a situation where
I imagine anyone that I was with Lake

in any sort of a flirtatious or romantic
situations somebody else and didn’t

immediately I get angry and I didn’t
like I don’t have you ever experienced

that first hand like

you were talking to some like you and
your lady we’re talking to a guy you

like

you were just openly flirting with that
guy no I don’t give watch somebody

flirts and I’m sure it’s like

I’m sure that it’s happening but both
sides relationships that I’ve been in

but I have my I might watch that
happened in like what was that about

right yeah never lead when the eighth we
have to talk

yet that it was an okay I noticed you
having fun this penny

at the dramatist flirt like flirting is
so ambiguous what is it me like

if i’m talking and joking with someone
is it by definition flirting

or does it have to be slightly sexual
and romantic like a by making a girl

after my flirting

because if so then I have to admit as
you are done with the job and I i wasn’t

flirting

I was lapping I’ll up all the time read
exactly no I don’t think that it’s just

I don’t think it’s automatically
flirting to Lake be playful somebody and

make them laugh I think that lake if
you’re like a charming person who likes

making jokes that’s just part of your
life learning is giving somebody that

little

extra attention could like oliver’s
naturally just like try to make people

laugh and try to talk to people but one
is as soon as I hone in on someone just

one person bennett’s flirting

then it’s like I only care about making
this girl at right here

so you’re saying if you’re equal
opportunity floater then it doesn’t

matter as long as you’re not doing it is
just one person

yet yet it feels like there’s yet
doesn’t appear like at a party or hang

out or being charming that sorta Blake

general equal opportunity for learning
but if you’re like at work in use send

an email to a coworker

that’s like hey we should really meet up
in the kitchen in have a cookie

wake ago some I don’t know just like
that a good let a good workout flirt

very average person at the snack

got that knack for a kitchen I had a
lame-o like scheduling a one-on-one

snack break in the kitchen that’s like
that feels like you’re like

I’m trying to hook up with the Spurs I’m
and so it’s like something that has a

good intention behind it that’s not

just being a from the person it’s almost
like every one-on-one email is kinda

flirtatious good day here’s a little
secret from me

yeah there’s never a reason really to
send

any one-on-one emails at work that are
in Lake work-related

ray Lake if you’re sitting with a one or
two line email to a personal work

that’s not having to do with work but it
also has a disk issue that little

microburst have like

that flirty yeah it with this is what
goes back to me saying like

his eyes are spreading it liberally its
fine your I

I don’t think that is Robinson’s like by
a lake I think I was in a relationship

and I found out that

you know my girlfriend had been had like
sent a couple

one or two and flirty emails to a
coworker and I don’t

I like to think that I would be okay
with that because it’s like

its it’s okay to find other people at
like sort of attractive acute while your

relationship that is just human nature

right but it’s like a very it’s a very
different thing to like truly act on it

in any

in any significant way right I would say
that like on

alone under couch pizza network time is
like acting on it accounts acting oh

yeah

flail has a very own cool and I would
not like that right leg

the occasional like you’re kinda cute
guys were thinking those tests and

miles like it would all bother me but it
didn’t just like don’t tell me I don’t

wanna know that like not something I
need

if I’m in a relationship it’s like if
you’re eating pizza and watching Netflix

at someone’s house

II need to know cuz they break up I
better let

a few your girlfriend can’t have the a

time where she watches Netflix with
another guy well I mean

sure that could happen it depends like
how it how it got there if he got there

because they’re taking lunch breaks
together

yeah and then they’re like going out to
11 did I

tourist map data may want to check out
now

computers and yet the relationship is
clearly I all right let me let me ask

you follow question everything in all
that harm well what you have drama and

heating

have no I do think that’s not fair so
yeah it is yeah you gotta

I am yeah Netflix and chicken fingers
gauge

Amazon I Amazon Prime Minister

I just outside okay

any luck so I dole’s I and tater tots
shows

I my last question egg salad n who let
me finish not plus

regulars to their liking what others do
the broke as a joke

I could do that all day if any governor
Monday egg salad at any point I would

dump

I for any reason flirting is OK egg
salad

not know exelon really is ridiculous

it’s just exact undergo and went out to
lunch on

with a guy at work in the eight by the
the by the ocean in late on the grass

you’d be jealous and then if you found
out with they both had egg salad I

with chopped up onions in it yeah you
know it you can have your here

your press release still smells yet
appalled by

if I if I fell in love with the girl
over the course of the year

and we spent nights lying together
talking and telling each other things we

never told anybody I felt closer to her

than I had ever felt anybody and I just
checked and I was like walked in and ice

are just drinking a full glass of whole
milk

I’m never gonna die can a girl again I
said today

that’s good to know you hate milk I just
ahead the idea does drinking a glass in

Holdenville

I but it was clear is that I’ll we’re
gonna have to have a serious talk

I don’t always deliver I think doesn’t
have an open relationship yeah exactly

where that is skim it has to be scared
just like

a putter ball excelled in a glass milk I

like you know what nothing we’ve shared
is worth this your and you’re a monster

that is its a lot of people still dry I
can get behind that I never had a girl

growing up

but yeah I don’t you know people that
still dislike I will

you dissect well sell homes to Bel
itself al

a girlfriend in high school who didn’t
like

Jews have any kind but drinking milk at
a good just a drink glasses of milk

and it was that I think I’ve always been
ruined by thought I was so gracious look

at the birthday bro the bird

still having to the day loans military
he did the I

he did this diet retail mallet milk a
day haha

and I to go mad diet is but gallon of
milk a day

help please that’s not a wreck that’s
the Norsemen against milk low

oh yeah I mean it with absolutely you
look sick if you look

his I mean these are the kind appeal but
he looked like milk

I the mic in my view

more I you really are that

appeal or the milk it was still biggest
LSU

the lead coffin with honors her and I
would come with me would have like a

quarter of the North left and I look at
him a big you as a going over

if you just like he looked like he was
gonna cry okay you would have to open as

valid like goat milker

might be out this great leader and
season two billion dollars that is

but in the home prima about his skin

he became ill I

whatever it was there what’s the why
would that

why would anyone think that’s a good
idea if you want to tell you what to

pack on Matthew wanted to gain a lot
away

as you try to put Parenthood it any he
both up it was

all in his stomach I yes I could

he had cream way he had it forty pounds
and cream in his belly

has also doing no exercise because the
milk made himself sick

and lethargic he was weighed down by the
dairy in the lactose

I think a lot of things Dave does you
can ask with me why would anyone think

that’s a good idea

yeah doesn’t sound like a I would say in
any nutrition book

there’s probably a little addendum that
like also by the way don’t become milk

I whatever you do it’s not a good idea
my cell a good idea to you but don’t

become ill yet legal warning if you
handle milk labeled

I

too much concern she will make you mill
I

better this curtain came from enjoy but
do not become

somebody else became it I still

roughly speaking what would you do if
you re this girl says what would you do

if I Rio if you were this girl would you
not where would you cut it off

um or would you headed off I think
they’re seeing a

if you were flirting with a girl and she
had a boyfriend you didn’t would you cut

it off

button I’ve well where do you stand on
meddling

I have like what the first closer in
love with was

in a relationship when I met her and
they broke up engine and

sending me so I’m not the right the
moral you know

an but if you if you guys ended up
getting married that’s like a lovely

story and nobody would actually be
offended by the fact that you meddled

yeah I think that Lake if I mean a

yeah I Lake it’s hard to say like health
alert is these nights that they’ve been

spending the other had become but
Netflix and Peters likes pretty is 389

at a ten it sounds like yeah I would say
a certain point

its worth bringing up and sang like

/url is trying to feel out where his
relationships going you know

like saying I can’t keep doing this if
you’re still doing that bring lee also

said something that was like

a red flag to me she was like I’m just
as responsible as he is and that’s not

true

if you’re in a relationship though
you’re the most responsible

like this girl doesn’t have to be
responsible for this dudes relationship

right a I’m not asking you that’s just a
fact

I do think that there’s more of a moral

wat on the person in the relationship in
these situations yes definitely and I’m

not saying that this goes completely
absolve and you can metal all you want

red

but I will say that like disguise being
the Primo asl

yes girls being a meanie asshole for an
enabling its I think if you want

like the best thing she can do is a hey
a

I enjoy spending this time with you but
like

its you’re in a relationship so weekend

did this get it right I think that’s the
best thing to do because want to give

him an ultimatum like that

then he has to Lake sack up and figure
out his relationship to read what he’s

doing right now is is just like

he’s just having the best but the world
is like getting the emotional fulfilment

from this girl

hmm but not having to make a decision is
bringing people sucks right now want to

do have a so like what he has to do is
yes like realize that he can’t have both

at once

and have to actually make a decision
about which one he prefers if you think

if he’s gone this far he shouldn’t stay
with his girlfriend

definitely not now yeah I think that if
you get to this point has been summonsed

wrong right you’re not getting it from
where you should be getting it yet I’m

I’ve always felt that way like if I’m if
you’re in in something in you like

legitimately feel Lake hang out with
somebody else affording somebody else a

lake

in with its like serious in today then
that means that something’s not

though the game over for that be the
easiest solution is just like

ok I breaks up a groan and they can go
out guilt-free

yeah yes the I think this yes a little
know they can

have both I think and then it’s up to
him to decide which one E actually wants

to pursue

netQin maybe she should ask him like in
a really sexy way like she straddles him

like the one this our delight your
fucking girlfriend ceramic that

so I put him in a situation where ya
skills too bad to choose the

alternative share that was shipper

I we all disagree we’re gonna let you
keep on digging years old now on lol

we’re gonna get that she starts undoing
her blouse parties like the you wanna

touch me here do you wanna touch her

right his girlfriends at a long distance
relationship he can’t get you yet

he cared you miss you in lebanon time a
does the idea for the girl you’re

and that that’s the sex is where the
command is a million better than nothing

are now

yeah it’s either this or not or nothing
bizarre somewhere far away

near do you do LDR as long distance
stuff are you into that

identity on it you’re okay with that and
in love it

would you do it again nope you’re in LA
right now you live in New York

yeah you meet a girl tonight sure she’s
amazing me

she’s not only people I think that
attack we talked about how does a lake

the

Lake I just like no I wouldn’t do it
again in a second if you like unloaded a

hypothetical

I was like I A can be over Twitter I
like a love who’s ur friend

ok introduce me yeah you know somebody
the scrolls

10 outta 10 it never had milk in her
life

I bitches lactose intolerant all yeah
I’m headed the

as the as by I become

yeah I mean I guess there’s always
exceptions rape alike in my experience

from having done it

I don’t miss it and I would not rush to
do it again for a

it’s almost like it’s not even worth
coming up with the rules because

like yeah but then there’s somebody that
could break all the rules anyway

of course it’s like the everyone knows
somebody that was in a long distance

relationship that

they just love the person that much that
it made sense in the network right

and I just like so there’s that there’s
that and

do I close the door that I think it
depends on whether there’s a chance that

you will be in the same place

right if you’re just like both
indefinitely in different places

then thats you know some gotta give
their your figure out

but it’s like temporary or like there’s
a chance that one person could move

like a malleable job yeah exactly both
people have like

jobs are passionate about on opposite
coasts then even I’ve heard that happen

in like eventually some with only one of
them leave the job

%um a piece a shit I don’t get I its I
am in a guest list examples of every

relationship working out not working out
race or like a

do you want to put yourself through that
because he had like the a strong enough

lovely

kongers any obstacles and I guess I does
have an experienced a love that okay

select the obstacles have one every
Carolina only 1i meaning as in my spare

is no

the obstacles are it’s too much I in
other people is really other than that

there was a very good fortune cookie
that you gave out in the middle that

feat

well is it about the love and the
obstacles sale or tab

I wanna see the my mind’s eye ideally in
a poster

under two people walking on the beach
the love when the obstacles

reckons that again you have been given a
chance to talk to you

blind run on sentence this entire time
can you say it again blamed the time to

think about the %uh that is why I want
to visit her in a poster hearing all day

it now

3 are you one 0 and now you’re set and

I would have to hear I’m recording it we
can listen to it again you know i’d

somewhere out there had little advice I

your facetious now I was a as long when
it comes time for the break

well but take a break we’ll be right
back with more than

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let’s go back to the shell I miss de
hambre me too

and we’re bad act I

Yula no reason of mister seen friends
and hang out

then get outta here and we are I
eateries in a purpose DLC goes later

is the job at John Oliver stressful as
it sounds

%uh well with you having to create a
news show

that take something down in an epic way
every six days

it’s pretty intense I may love it it’s a
it’s a lot of fun but it is um

yet strangers are kind of like half your
job is writing

a research paper yeah other happen
didn’t funny so

the habits reading the research paper is
a sometimes intense but the best

sometimes we’ve come to describe it as
Lake

um earliest I have a as

that anxiety dream where you Ahava

final paper due in class that you
haven’t taken am but the habits real

I and you’re naked for some reason and
I’m naked at work nigga I

on but yeah the worst part is that the
end when he finishes getting all your

teeth fall out

rare I for that Obama’s payroll check
list

I so well so yet so it can be intense
but it’s very like you know it’s one in

a professional everyone’s like

how many writers Lolita say there nine 9
Reuters

okay and do you guys like all work on
something together to splinter of

temporary partner you solo

it’s a mix it’s there’s a research staff
and especially when you’re working on

the big pieces

the research staff prepares like all
sorts information and transcripts

and the name as in you go through your I
could make I could do something with the

yeah basically the center like 200 pages
of information and transcription it’s on

you like

figure out what had two hundred pages
you can

uniform into a fifteen minute pieces you
only have a week to do this that you

have a night usually

your way comedy was the comedy class at
it like an Advanced Placement calmly

read in class

yeah it’s usually day a day to do an
outline and then have another bout

day-and-a-half to write a draft which is
usually about 20 minutes long

and you just put it is rated friend to
be ready drafted featuring everything

you can imagine that

could be interesting were or help for
nearly a meeting with them along the way

they like

help you know their program align their
proofs of my draft busy you in another

writer both rates separate drafts you do
your own version of that big story

and another adderall soda

their own version that makes around and
then you your meeting where there is we

tell you what their favorite parts both
you drafts were and then you have the

writer combine

up their favorite aspects of the day
after day 1 draft

and then fill in the blanks and then
later on the process when there’s like

inevitably stuff that

you know jokes the need to be far outer
differently that’s like the whole staff

gets together and brainstorms

yeah I can go it’s really for those like
the prism information that a really dark

or like don’t seem like they could
possibly have anything funny about them

will usually meet as a group and try to
per slot subject

Yap to fight figure out and what about
like that things that you decide to take

down

is their meeting for that with the
writers to are you guys get like an

assignment to say like hey this is this
week we wanna do something on this

the topic is doctor yesterday know they
can come from anywhere Research Campus

than the Raiders convert some

research wouldn’t they know about forty
years

I give me the story nerd get added your
if he heard near

you’re a writer with the podcast and so
are you as well

Knoll a toll call me don’t call me a
podcaster

I also Maggie and I are the researchers

funny or they just like wearable that
realism backgrounds but there i mean

they’re like

funny smart people you’re did they go to
Northwestern all of them went to

Northwestern right now yeah

well had to there is appeared before the
show started where we all had to go to

Northwestern yeah

it and I haven’t got an address in the
center of the Northwest yet to work at

applying at least get into Northwest
right yeah whether or not you actually

went there and yet you could wonder

you to join one extra curricular when I
did I do overdo it yeah the road crew

a they are both area a yeah we all road
we are on the same boat

northwestern there was only we bonded
over the Dubs that’d

I because I was real though we lost when
you risk a kiss caking at the top at the

boat ramp

yep a one last question

the it the format the show for people
who haven’t seen is

the so the it’s a half hour long break

yeah but this main story takes up over
half the episode

yet unlike is that was that a decision
conscious decision from the get-go or

like they started getting bigger and
fatter and you guys realize this is what

the people want and my account YouTube

audience informed

at let you know this is clearly the
viral think this is what people want

let’s get that big or bigger

I think we’re always there always the
looking forward to doing is like

longer stories yeah but the it was a
surprise to us

even that like how long ago and how
people would

respond positively to that yeah I like
in the first

ever like the the second episode um

we did this like 12 minute piece on the
death penalty and at the time

we it was like we’ve been talking about
doing the death penalty as a

like while now be like a crazy Ball Z
thing to do like later in the season

right and then nothing happened where
this guy’s execution was like

badly you know botched and he liked and
I i higher are those funny thing larry

is

and so they’re like you know elicited
this this week and the second episode

and we did this like 12 minute piece on
the death penalty which at the time

we were like for sale that’s insane
doing at like a long comedy piece the

death penalty second about 12 minutes

yet and then I think everyone just like
really responded to both have that where

they were like wow it’s so cool to see a
comedy about a serious topic and wow

it’s so cool to see in-depth

and I think there is the switch the
error was like well we can just like

that she’s arrested the season

I think yeah I think we just went harder
in that direction then we may be

otherwise they would have gone there but
it we got there faster because I that

and like mean I watcher full half-hour
just that stuff I think that I think its

a linking to us we were all like we were
like well I can’t even imagine like

people

Lake paying attention to one topic for
this long how incredibly boring in dark

and then like people dislike I love and
yeah we were like 0

okay yeah but let’s just do that you
know that is it’s the

your it’s like you’re kind of like
putting

sweet stuff around medicine felt like
here’s a bunch for jokes and you guys

don’t know it be your actually learning
about some yeah

for it’s like you’re feeding it’s like
is now you give dogs medicine happened W

that others should teach classes in
school yet like I learned more from John

Oliver show

a last week tonight then I would from
the news because it’s the

91 you guys are covering stuff that the
news wouldn’t cover but to your coming

in a way that makes me want it

digested yeah yet Little League World
Youth yeah it’s not just like the Daily

Show

I mean to do it is also great that seems
to be like very political

like this happening right here in the
country right

and John Oliver’s just like huge worldly
topics

international international yes it’s
cool for there is an and at some

yeah minutes and it’s fun from on the
inside to learn about other stuff and

the because you also have to learn that
we have to learn it fairly well before

we can explain it others just like
anything

Friday you know and so it’s like you
become this weird expert in a random

topic

and has become a weird like not yeah
nobody really good on dates you know

yeah oh man you’re hey so babe

I you wouldn’t believe the the function
that municipal fine sir villa in the

Alabama court system learn how they keep
down the minority population actually do

care

is yeah I think I’ll this year DF tender

at the moment I am I have deleted it

but I am penile did your bio say writer
at last week turning

a yeah I didn’t at first and then I
added

smart so I removed it help I don’t know
I i mean like

my pin on this action was very
uncomfortable like reading my job

on like an online dating platform but
there’s something Lake

if you say that you’re a comedy writer
but you don’t

so your job you don’t like if you don’t
but you imply in any way that you’re

actually doing it

for a living people does compiling would
completely assume that you’re just

because ninety-eight percent at times
comedy writers are

either self employed or unemployed rails
railings comedy writer that submits

headlines to the at like the wrong email
address at the onion yeah it really i

don’t wanna

I don’t wanna brag on its ruling on a
lake I would I would hope that’s not

like

a reason to go on a date with me but I
also like it is like

I don’t wanna come across a gun dislike
out a failed

but with all together it’s a reason to
go on a date with you been on the way

that’s like

oh this guy has a good job it what it
shows is like

this guy’s hard working and gainfully
employed as I do get handed a job like

that

I think so yeah I think it’s Lake I
think I’m just am afraid of coming

crosses Lake

I think nobody really believes the
county reading is an actual job

so then you know the kinda be like no
but for real though right now I’m just a

little

that yeah I think I think it is a matter
like being prodded me when I work for it

yeah you know I remember that came up
once where

I was like OSHA Thai a who I think in a
weird

slightly tangent den tangential way
somebody tracking has been a pic but a

picture of me and Jake

in my tender stream so that people would
know that

like I did this stuff like maybe we
trigger something

other girl is not like cheap Lake she
would only like me cuz I was in a

I was in videos that stuff that should
recognize but I was like yeah but like

thats

beyond physical attraction the other
thing people are attracted to say how

successful you are in your field and
what you do for a living so it’s not

like shallow for a batteries and right
now so you like worked hard

something yeah I think that it’s like I
think that the adverse affect

up coming across like you might just be
like a Lake

an unemployed like aspiring comedy
writer

is much worse than the like potential
cokie effective sounding like you’re

bragging about your job

right I think it’s like it I think it’s
okay to like on the fact that you’ve

worked hard in your ambitions and you
like

you know a good to be proud yeah I think
alike new job less stuffy eso

and they never actually like I could put
that I feel like a night in the tent my

driver and yeah

time tonight you like last week tonight
I mean and well head writer usually have

your head writer for loud god I’m
running for the contributing author

why not sure under what he says there
was 10 if you change your name smiling

things going on and on and on

09 August alcohol I might make my
pictures John all over you there

like I said there’ll be like slightly or
whatever then when you meet the girl

what happened all say I

do it back to you later for you now

an hour on that day your apt where you
go I

you already agreed to the location and
time once a girl’s been duped

she’s good she doesn’t leave she’s
really like well have been duped

I owe you this much see that sounds like
and snaps

d me alright now you’ve got is a
dramatic got a scoop me

mum what does that mean but with the
second question all right we’re running

at a time

I can ask a question a are at

guy’s name ok sorry the

the fun and the I I

stepping in rights hey guys

I got this problem my best friend me and
him both like the same girl and got into

a fight

about it he was in a group of friends
and she was with them and since it was a

group I thought I can come in and hang
out

when I got there I stood behind him and
he told me what the fuck are you doing

here

why are you here and he pointed to the
door and told me to leave

he is probably one of my closest friends
because we are the same person

practically

he invites me to anything actually
started working out with me

he looks better than me but me and him
are both smoke shows

the only advantage I have is that I am
taller than him we are we have a very

good relationship

like we buy things for each other and
just hang out every day

I admire him because he got me to start
working out

and going out I don’t know what to do
please help me this girl is like an

8 but we are both friends with her what
would you guys do if you both like the

same girl

as your best friend straight up and I am
embarrassed say this

I might have spaced out for the first
time 5

and as that today are they there
actively fighting over the same girl

that’s pretty much a day after day I get
enough late or they just know that

relies on me like I was a sad situation
ever this dude came over to a group of

people including the girl that he liked
our

and his friend was just pushing in
telling him to leave okay so he was just

approaching this girls are too earns me

at the bug and yeah I like she’s mine is
mine

on is she actually his no just she was
you can’t really like other

yet the look that is both buying after
the same girl

then he goes on to say how much he likes
this guy because they’re the same person

but he slightly taller

red it sorted through the air like I
like my the two piece that late one

you shape David bother your friend as
much to say

you know it’s not ever really worth it
you to say okay you know what you

you know you got to this girl and I
don’t need to you

but this at this guy is such an asshole
that my I’m

pretty tempted to hey he’s not your best
friend you should admire him yell the

service admiration seems misplaced

it seems like he’s has acquired a crush
on himself

yeah I think this guy so great is
exactly like well me

but not a style I there’s no better
person than me and the person I want to

be that’s why I am becoming me

right as a person accidentally did that
I’m a strong need yeah

only befriend lesser versions immediate
the closer you are to me the more

friendship

I have a video because that’s how close
he became to meet you

yeah I don’t know I think it’s the

if you start any email that

your friend pushed you out of the way
and said to stay away from a girl

generally don’t end that email with a
long string of couple minutes about what

a wonderful man he is

well two things one have you ever Vita

like seen a girl that you in your friend
but have a crush on have you ever wished

that you had Jessie’s Girl

yeah I mean yet stuff cuz like

in were made that happens like it’s game
over in a yeah and I think

for shared I and magazine which
direction a better

finally hang out with ugly horrible
people so that I’m always

captioned their option lets visitors up

exact the I don’t and another like
really

competed over a girl maybe I think I had
maybe some

a crush on the same girl somebody else
may be high school mean

like but I was like fifteen other counts
right not in and out as an ad

at all to know your yeah if that’s
happening as an adult is gonna

d that’s not worth it what do you do

home have you ever had that situation
reunify friend both were like

yeah the I for me

every time it happened I never ever lost
also a certain point I real has

I you were twelve and I’ll I rely I was
like

you know what if I’m gonna win every
single time then it’s only

it’s not really good competition I’ll

then I’m just order than evil man who
steals Union frumpy you’re always the

second time like you were always last
year just steal people’s girlfriends

I did that a lot and then like I mean
I’m not sure how

of it was ever like to my friend it
definitely happened

but like you know where you had skill

view I don’t be an asshole but I really
never ever

I always got the girl I

so it was like I just at Bennett I sort
is shifted to

I’ve got friendship was more important I
didn’t wanna steel anybody’s

anybody’s crush and I think that was the
plan to do it in the butt early

before you really start to care cuz
that’s when you like don’t want to give

up

if you like your the beginning stages
liking somebody

and you realize

Libya conflict I would always just like
peel back first ago I can like somebody

else

so much of it as I happenstance like if
you’re seated next to someone or dancing

next to someone like you just have the
first four minute conversation that I

was like send you off on a trajectory
where year with that person

I no cuz it also is like when it when
there’s competition

it’s always goes to the person who well
not always

nevermind say it’s a totally different I
sometimes you have to try really hard

sometimes have to try a lot left to
right like that as the guy that tries

too hard you start looking like a nice
generous guy next to that guy tries to

be kinda depends what the other guys
doing

you just have to do the opposite I’ll I
didn’t get inland hours until I was like

in my early 20’s like I spent like all
high school being like if I’m the

sweetest most sensitive man

I older ladies will appreciate my
sensitivity whose danna

I

who are you talking about I I’ve never
seen that guy

but others say that it’s now Lake a good
trade a lake

but it is Lake yeah you have to like a
little bit see what

you know you don’t want to be that that
one all the time you read

you know there’s also like it has to be
mutual and usually

a I can only speak for like a one lady
into dudes cuz I’ve never been on the

other side as two ladies purses one dude

but it seems like she just is naturally
gravitating towards one %uh view

right yeah I mean there’s it’s never
like at the end of several days likes

it’s still a toss up of course it
entirely her choice she gets to choose

you the other guy or neither

in and but it were really believe you’re
ready to save your precious

you you can say I’m out of the running
entirely like

your say they’re they dance a girl we
both like em writer

and you say

look take back of I really liked and
then all I can do if I once a friends

with you

I’m out of the picture and then say dan
does like me

as long as amended picture you can’t be
mad at me but then you can go after Dan

no I can’t go out today because I
promise you to preserve our friendship

that I will not like the end even if he
likes me and not you but is not like it

did

thing which you don’t like like like all
dibs on dan event dan doesn’t like me

you can look up at the NBA level tabs

I don’t believe in did you think there’s
a difference between did and you telling

me as a friend to back off

isn’t that the same thing is no deal
saying back off will I think they did

thing that we do is like if there’s a
girl at a bar in some ways like did

I’m not like I get did llama talk to our
first break that’s not as

that’s not cool at all but if you’re
like look I really like this girl

and I don’t want you to go after I think
I could

dude do you there honor if you’re a good
man to be I can say I won’t go after

or if you want to you have a different
conversation with the be like we really

actually like each other

right and then I have to give you the
honor back I’ve to bestow you the honor

we all have to treat each other with
honor yeah honors the most important

thing

I text yeah it is the only care about

on I are there to bardera como nos
weather alerts

Japanese swords but and daughter

is the honor each other it is yeah
exactly I E

well before you guys approach a girl
about you bout to each other that has

really do we show each other mutual I
bled into groups

I honor you I honor you we ask about his
hand and I am leon

then we had that we go to to the woman
Wii U and we balcony and get on when the

sir I will actually give her a bath a
pork butt yo I’ll about a Jake and I’ll

present to the idea that I was talking
with growth I was talking to a girl by a

bite or a drink I want you to give your
thumbs up you are on your knees

committing yeah I read Harry I

did tell you that I have your your
ultimate honor in my life

it

as friends and your honor and I am
ashamed I

use laced initiative on hart use less
there yeah

my at my vital organ yeah mmm-hmm meant
that his wrist that is incredibly

respectful

a a yeah it’s and also view like if a
girl sees the two people are alike

actively vying for her there’s always
the you know the dangers you gonna pull

like a Jasmine in now

aladdin and be like I am NOT a prize to
be won yeah hmm

shit yeah you know what japanese goes
home with Raja

yeah starts fucking a tiger exile Tiger
can actually she has a picture on it and

that’s what it is there’s the dance it’s
like

I don’t think I mean dibs is of the
table cuz did is just sort of calling

somebody like their

you’re at an auction or whatever but if
we’re like if we have a crush on the

same person

you say I like ur and then I let you
approach

and then if that doesn’t go well as it
permission

and will you honor me with here for this
absolutely not brother

I appreciate your honor but I can’t
reciprocate that

I’d guess you know where I would do that
once and if you did to me twice

if you did to me twice rather like
approach the body and you said no hassle

and still have gotten away

I think you’d be I think that you’ve
done to me a dishonor in a disservice

and I must did a few I want to talk to a
girl about how it works on the other

side when two girls like a geyser is
there a dead thing is loud ok also know

her viewpoint if

a you and I both like them unlike and
stay she likes one of us

right like will i sorry I you like me if
you like a mere

I called you seller you have to be with
me now

it’s me or no one I think the closest we
have is Dan pretending to be a woman

serve we can just ask you a series of
questions and then you can just sort of

handle your box I

I do I keep my box young woman scape no
sir

thanks so much for asking I

um have never fallen a different
question that came outta this

I have ever had a best friend and you
just realize you don’t like him anymore

I to that happens over time like others
got my best friend but I don’t like a

month ago that cuz you guys grew up in a
different people

rate I guess not amor not as like an
adult but definitely in high school and

some friends from like childhood that

around age like seventeen it became
pretty clear a

at that right um but never know where
that at Lake

actually know what there was one like I
was younger though there’s a kid that I

i cum now with what we need is a maybe
like

8 and 13 and I think we were 14 we got
in like an actual fight like a physical

love

in my house that involved Lake a slick
one I was hitting the other one with a

tennis racket only yeah

like angry at each other and I don’t
even remember what /url I

but at Lake yeah we disturb you when we
went down different paths

so in the one who hit the other with a
tennis racket I believe so yes your

you have never who is sitting who is
getting here I think we both had a

weapon of some sort

and I think mine was the tennis
regularly he had something else

yet a bit more companies like that what
about letting the other the whaaaat the

Wimbledon growth

yeah a proteomics I

he actually ended up and read it to me I

is on clay I believe it interior Roland
Garros

tonight a prepubescent sweet damn girl
which way like the debt

it’s best for them to five years I

I’m rock hard now I yeah I don’t know
what happened I think we’re just like

I think we were like teasing each other
and they like got me know about to start

in like me can find each other and i got
really angry and it was clear that it

was not going anywhere

yeah birder so maybe that’s what this
guy’s got the right now

I saw her son but I mean I think also
it’s like there’s a difference between

Lake

one time and like a repeated offender

like a disguise Lake maybe he’s just
like really love this girl in like

really Lalique

you know it’s Leah allow for that it is
constantly make you feel like I feel

like shit and feel like he’s like less
then another cool

both answer the specific question what
would you do if you both

like the same girl if your best friend
like me grow its

tough to say without knowing how she
feels cuz it’s not

up SL it’s not up to the lake it’s up to
her did you know

certainly does not say to the girl like
I’m site you have to choose him

but it is saying like you know is I
think you have a conversation with your

friend first

you say if you really like her and you
want me to back of

I’ll stop flirting with her as much as
they happen yeah like

I want I will pursue it any further yeah
and I’m whatever happens after that is

obvious between the girl in the back in.
you know

back into the world yet you hope that in
any conversations in uniform and

you’d knew it would come out at 10 views
like really serious about it and the

other owners can I go now

right you know like generally I can see
it being possible the two people like

fight to the death for like the
defections have one woman they don’t

know the right i think thats like one of
them is going kinda like bill you know

what

I don’t care that much right I think
have to look it up to the girl like

it there this can go whenever a girl for
sure yeah but like if the if the girl

was into me and not my friend I wouldn’t
be like

alright fine you can have for or you can
go after her we I don’t at least you

don’t get him from

you don’t give him access to hurt you
all his ass all you do

Israel leap that’s it but if we if we
have a thing more than they have a thing

I don’t think I should leave

but I’ll are we in this lake
hypothetical it’s like they don’t need

or want them knows you that well read

that sure i think is it cuz its yet that
the only way you can judge if you’re

like mid relationship with her and you
better like having a lot of fun in your

flirting with each other are loving and
then having an

and you’d like to know %ah at the IKE I
have liked it it like then it’s

different but we’re managing

the very very beginnings this girl
firstly I this goes a pretty girl in a

group

so you don’t like you’re not actually
invested reading be

yeah been at you haven’t gone on any
dates right but it’s not saying like

you’re not saying you have to choose my
friend now it’s just like

you’re no longer an option we ever say
to your friend ya to back down

no I would never say that but I’ve had
people say it to me

and I’m and i’d like i’d have it in
conversation the dance %uh about like 08

do you actually care and at their life

yes I really care our cat and carole and
then sometimes

I don’t think it ever happened in my
recent memory I’ve never been like

I care a lot right I guess it also
depends on the friend like you with a

friend who has it doesn’t really have
these feelings a lot then it’s like

I’ll writer who is jeopardy it with it
was Jefford Dave saying it

I would be like fuck off you don’t like
the map but right

but if the I mean you’ve never said it
to me so if we both liked a girl you

like I really like this girl

I would definitely I could pick up a
time that did happen data backup

yeah who were too well as it a we have
this product

I I did do that yeah exactly yeah

yet okay now so it can happen

yeah I think it depends on the dynamic
between the two guys I was in a

situation recently where

yeah like I didn’t know at the beginning
that this girl and I’ll

I was having a kinda like feel the
connection with that like another when

my friends also did

but just like by the end of the day that
we were all kind of hanging out

I just it was pretty clear that I was
just hitting offer the really well right

so it’s like I didn’t feel the need to
like have a discussion with embedded

Desai was like an unjust

it’s going well for like us my know what
but dole well for you

Italian he even ask you to step back
today know it was like now was it but I

like but I heard through a friend that
he was also interested in her

you know you know that’s happened to me
to wear like I did missus

I’ll I kinda thought maybe somebody was
interested in somebody but then I hit it

off and they’re like didn’t

there was no conversation and rather
like a loaded conversation

after the fact to be like no idea
actually hooked up with that girl

rate are cool yeah it was that year

I think it’s similar look like yeah I
was a I just didn’t like

I didn’t stop thing spending going in
the direction they were going well as

doctor

monarch a summit sometimes you feel
shame on us they like hey I’m sorry

I had of it has grown the guy that likes
urs in about his honor his body shaved

his like

I yeah I know how want to hear no more

I his eight-year bad in front of me

I if you really want the hot I want you
to have a scoop a shame well known and

only the shit your pants and you get the
way why

iight cool the skin is absurd be called
honor and shame

I think it well which one do you want to
do everyone ought to get ahead 2-1 both

the bye bye

I this one says honored this one also
says on its I

shame is written crawfish after my dick
my captors honor

everything in between these two byes
that’s a shame I

is with shame on body parts you don’t
like

I who 200 bison shame everywhere else

I’m so proud your arms for the rest
their bodies as they go

no I do a lot a curl I to be very funny
that two incredibly strong arms and have

a

really pathetic weak body everywhere let
David Rosenberg really

yeah lol how quickly you guys really
we’ve had this conversation

they haven’t and I got to the gym with
Dave so many times only girl

well gotta British by girlhood rigs milk
as good as the behavior someone is like

only seen cartoons about working out

he’d rather than up by his leg well as
they %uh they as I don’t do this a lot

my arm have ever seen

day that his desk squeezing a can of
spinach and nothing happens

I desperately trying to read the a
rainbow in with down’s

at I alright dan give anything to plug
before you go

keep in mind there will be thousands

have people listening to this holy shit
so this means a lot

yeah well naked ever had attacked they
got

no I definitely do not nothing Twitter
Instagram

I’m sure you can follow me on twitter if
you want I

you’re gonna get out your gonna get a
moderately amusing weed once every three

and a half weeks the show you a line
without are in your

I is Bo’s actually advertising years
president called me today was like dude

if you could really if you plug denso
HBO said me a care package based on

repealing that’s right I remember that
yeah

you’re a you’re like a mover shaker in
the the alleged trendsetter

when is the show on just for it and you
can throw seen on YouTube as well

but you can see the about half a bit on
YouTube the other half a lot about one

that you

wrote or you’re particularly proud of
%uh written our time 11

about online harassment okay the way
that people like especially women are

treated on the Internet

cool and I was a para alla there was a
lot of fun cool so

online harassment last week to make
dollar YES on YouTube but Sun is at 11

son is at 11 yep to more people watch it
on YouTube then I might be a

a no not quite but it’s something like

a bunch more million are added every
week it’s critical that you don’t see

any other show

I guess you do like Daily Show put their
stuff online but like

Game of Thrones does not uploading like
20 minute clip to their shows

so HBO’s kinda doing what yeah it’s
pretty awesome they realize that the

show would

you know it wouldn’t be like the
cultural discussion point that it is it

wasn’t

if you look and check it out yet but it
is there is one in Canada like

because it’s only those like very heavy
topics they going to do I think people

sometimes think that’s like the whole
show is that anybody let alone a very

silly stuff on the show’s yeah

usually was put on YouTube that’s true
but I am yep go

a thank you again for coming they
another me the

if you have your own questions or theme
Sox emissions or thumbnails or anything

that email again is if I really show at
gmail dot com thanks to Anderson

AKA pictures %uh vernon for reading the
opening theme song being sick Corey

laying

who made a wonderful wonderful world
parity

for the closing theme song will be back
next week dan unfortunately is about to

die

but I am the end it will be here I later
desk

0 yep Damara

mom

do

no

in a manner

you

house match

for

sure

I

year

scratchy

for

sure

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