Episode 176: Fantasy (w/Emily Gordon!)

Former therapist, current writer/comedy producer Emily Gordon  joins us to discuss breaking up, farting, and her new book, “Super You!”

This episode is brought to you by DollarShaveClub, and CreditKarma.  

this is ahead government can Haydel this episode is brought to you by dollar why’d you call me Dave sorry I forgot I had to call you by your stage name i don’t realize we’re really make a charge now on the air Dale Dale repeating this episode is brought to you by sponsored actually buy Dollar Shave Club dot com you know I used to shape them old RAZR I remember that no bueno I don’t like it you don’t then come out of the bathroom crying crying cursing the only guide you knew which is the one only God I used to be bleak and fear careful but dollars shape.com changed all that they totally revolutionize the way I and you should shave revolutionized it now you can share with the fresh played whenever you want here’s how it works it’s a website that delivers a whole sleeve of amazing raisers for just a few bucks so you don’t have to use old raisers anymore it comes in the mail like clockwork and they’re affordable and their use all and they’re good which is the three best things were delayed due to hold a good if you are those three things then you win at life so you can upgrade your shaving game with a fresh played whenever you want if you go to Dollar Shave Club dot com slash amir is there is no one there is or dollars saved club dot com slash Dale shake actually they did they got the memo for you know affordable blades delivered to your home for a low fee to stop spending more money on worst blades at Dollar Shave Club dot com slash Jake $4 shipped the dot com slash Amir this is an exciting episode Emily Gordon list current writer comedian producer extraordinaire came out of the show we talked things actually gotten very real fun and exciting before we get into we should also mention that tickets are still available floating around for our shows this weekend and 10 yeah we got three shows 332 have been announced one out under has been announced yet but Thursday is definitely on its the podcast live podcast that her first that’s going to be our first ever live podcast and in the 60 actually riding through the six with my woes Wednesday night personally I’m a six god really holy shit yours truly they didn’t even know that yes and then Thursday as more traditional stand-up comedy shell sorry Friday’s that and then saturday we have another show it’s all part of the festival links are on our website if I ryushare.com also gonna be in Irvine on October 14th and then just-announced is our show in Philadelphia first I think it’s our first live podcast in Philly it is our first live broadcast and film philadelphia if you’re listening snag your tickets not a huge theater tickets should go quickly that’s it for now Toronto Irvine Philadelphia Emily Gordon this episode let’s get started 2012 do see it was done not gonna lie though I appreciate all the help we you we use that was house calls us to take guests on a spouse ok cuz you’re halfway there Emily Gordon let me introduce you right off the bat that that was a great theme song yeah it sounds like deep house it was very deep house where is that guy from cos how do I get that access other nephew just says he’s from the UK the Netherlands he has to be from speak the Hungarian rapper wow everybody at home with you guys afterwards you’re gonna have to google that PC the Hungarian Hungarian and his backing musical group and they do a song about war where he references 911 2pac a million things and it is just a tragic to behold sounds better than that this is Alize UWS that is not how how many eww yeah no pronounced like house about the ages says its ok I was on YouTube hours 94 and SoundCloud hours allegory house maybe he could just get out and YouTube I guess not like that to take him to his YouTube channel go to the UK but if we go to the show so we just go to the UK right now recorded that like a dingy basement somewhere I think we should have that sounded like us like walking getting into a car and do not not now house is Allison how perfect that’s on stage now that’s a great point was if you’re listening at the very least Emily wants to be a publicity drive so Emily how do our fans know you are maybe if they don’t who are you are you here I am a writer and stand-up producer my main to jams by British show 2009 kemal never heard of it it’s also a TV series for Comedy Central we’ve done to season so far and I’m and I’m in that case we show backstage so that’s fun for me and then I rates a bunch of stuff all over the internet yeah yeah just wrote a book while which is on the internet now you can order yes it’s available for pre-order now what’s the deal with the book the book is like a self-help guide that’s funny but like not like a joke self-help guide it actually is like a genuine self-help guide but it is also mixed with like terrible stories from my childhood teenagers and my now years all of my years years Mr half that helped and it’s called Super year was the worst year you had the most terrible was the worst year there were any details other than just the year maybe like middle school years were pretty rough in general and then like early twenties years not so great yeah we’re not amazing but middle school and high school I kind of started figuring stuff out a little bit and I was super angry but I was like I had got kids before I forget that I was just like amorphous blob and yes i know i didnt embraces but I was overweight and i was just like Greece’s acne and I was way too thin not comfortable in any of anything I still showered with a bathing suit on I was like 14 y at your home or at school at my house I had there’s only people in my family and then and there are no locks on the any of the bathroom I but I mean I still have my family could have been just as justin is really think is my family was like showering my moms coming in taking a large area is that weird is that yeah it’s weird but that’s we’re brothers walk in and peeing while I’m thinking about it I don’t think that’s that I had sisters so that’s where the judges like if there’s mail you had like all brothers I think that’s totally normal talking with my brothers house at the Charles going I never knew who is in there I was trying to walk into my sisters in the shower that confusing thing happening I don’t want that on my brain the rest of my eye I had a roommate a female roommate wants and she would use the toilet while I was in the shower like she would poop while I was showering yeah that’s a different level of it I wouldn’t be into that they would smell yeah actually that person just got married so I put up a photo that action happening is my third roommate the door was open so you like take a photograph was having such a fun with the door open yeah it was like some well I did that it was college was campbell is everything was open yeah I know I can say that but also I never did that yeah I did do that and I still like I’m married now and like we have a strict like no no being in front of each other and none of that stuff like somebody it’s like I want to still be attracted a black person that’s why we do it that’s why we don’t even pee and various other guys like we want to keep the magic a little bit of magic alive as much as I respect that a lot and so people can still do that while peeing in front of each other I don’t think that my husband and I can go from the past we’ve put in front of each other and it really ruined that a little bit I don’t want to have sex with somebody you just watch it come out of their buttholes yeah I don’t even put deodorant like yeah but it’s gonna it’s funnier a shower right I think I was taking up I was taking a bath or I crouched down like I was taking a bath yeah I mean I was ashamed I was very good booty toots you’ve got going up so it looks like a nice shape so why did you what what gives you the right to read a self-help book where you get off comedy I before I did any of the stuff I have a master’s in couples and family therapy they practicing therapist for about six and a half years so that’s that’s that’s the real practicing masters you learn you know I don’t know that I’m master I think you are the master as it stands right now good advice podcast we don’t have any of that stuff we don’t have credentials yeah experience right does it have a question is illegal am i under arrest that’s a big like I don’t even know that I think what what separates their vast like people are always asking for advice but I most of my advice comes from just me being a person in the world and having gone through a bunch of bullshit and then so I for that you’re completely fully qualified and then I also have some book learnin on top of that YA book learning to supplement the real life learning so we get we usually get questions their little light hearted and we’re like maybe we should use some real questions that we wouldn’t want to make sure that you don’t have fun on the dark but it just like I don’t know how I would answer that yeah we’ve got a professional internet I feel like we should take is that a thing though like are you out of practice do you get rusty with your across more person being like getting them to like tell me about their problems I i’ve been that’s when I started freelance writing I was only writing like mental health staff unlike advise callers and stuff like that so that’s how I do my parents like my time and all my money on this is what I’m using it but it’s a good advice column I read it sometime I wouldn’t have thought of that what is what is the Emily Gordon dot com dot com and the number is called do you think you’re pretty good which is what the origin story that is I was in middle school waiting outside for my parents along with one of the most popular girls in the middle school she stared it was her name to ship coal name I’m not gonna say it was like Bethany she had like small banks the eighties gorgeous but also like trashy kind of North Carolina and she stared at me like 30 seconds and then what do you think you’re pretty and I was like I’m still trying to figure out that answer and it stuck with me all these years later she remembers saying no way we remember saying that what you doing now and it was great to see CFO before I try to stay away from that but everyone should come anyway that’s where are you glad in retrospect that somebody did that here one day sure all the things that all words and stories to write yeah yeah so this is a real email from a real person we should give like you said you don’t wanna out that person you have a fake name to give this person just to preserve and although player Ronaldo rights hey guys have been dating this amazing girl for the last six months we met on tender thanks Jake and have been inseparable ever since she came at just the right time as I had a break up just a few months before I met her and I guess you’d have to call her quote unquote the rebound but it wasn’t just about sex or anything I really do love her she’s smart funny dorky in the sweetest girl I’ve ever met everyone loves us as a couple because we’re so similar and it really seems like we belong together now here’s the problem have been feeling i’m satisfied for a while now I don’t love her like I used to she’s one of my best friends and I know that love her but I don’t think that I’m in love with her we’re young so this was always meant to be just a fling she really depends on me so I’m afraid of what will happen if I break up with her she’s crazy in love with me and that’s the problem he has a history of depression in hurting herself and I could never forgive her if she hurt herself because of me she lives with her dad and I live with my parents he doesn’t have a good thing going at home her parents are divorced and her dad can be a prick in her stepmom ensures that sister can be worse she doesn’t go to college and just goes to work she’s had a really rough life is almost lived in poverty for most of her life I love her so much and I hate feeling this way of course I want us to stay friends but I know that never happens I just want out of this relationship but it just makes me feel like a piece of shit I might just be it might just be that this is not the right time but I’m not sure if it will ever be the right time I just want to be a good guy please please please help me love Ronaldo lot of stuff split personality and three distinct parts of this the first part was amazing girl I love her so much that I do not like this girl yeah there was this girl sob story yeah oh god I will say that the things that men do because they want to be nice guys are often some of the most damaging things you can do to interesting I want to be a good kind like I gotta be like the nicest guy in in like I want to hurt her but in not hurting her you’re with someone you actively resent and that hurt someone way worse I also think there’s some sort of weird complex that a guy or maybe just people in general but someone has to be like I am your source of happiness nothing without me so if I go away troubles and you die your little baby that’s not true this girl existed and did fine up until six months ago and then met and now that you’re in a bad relationship you think what do you think this is somehow good for her mental health you’re with her when you actively don’t want to be with her and I’m sure she can feel that and kind of sign that so all the things you have going for a Laker poverty and work situation now she also has a boyfriend he doesn’t just like her though he’s just you know like he’s no longer in love he loves her but he’s not out of pity it’s not love good good very good I love it when guys put ladies on pedestals and her like she doesn’t have anything without she’ll be fine I promise you I don’t know this girl but you don’t think she’ll be sad as when it happens but you know what she can handle this she’s a grown ass woman ladies can handle being sad for a little bit you staying with someone because you’re afraid that they’ll be bummed when you break up with them is not another reason to stay with them it’s not fair to her not fair to you should be bombed anybody who gets dumped anybody who goes through a breakup will be bummed it’s okay to be bombed and then you can kind of bounce back from it and you can kind of learn from it and move on she give she’s grown up enough to do that I don’t know her but if she’s like every other human on the planet she’s grown up enough to do that but I feel like this is a very common thing is I don’t wanna break up because I’m gonna be that bad person I don’t want to be like oh I’m hurting this thing that I i care about a lot yeah and then you break up with them and then you can’t consultant can you you can’t be the one to console them so then do you have to be like me and be like sorry were broken up go find help somewhere else yeah a little bit that’s what breakups are like who do you feel the need to be the sun and moon and stars for someone like this happens all the time breakups happen all the time for the most part every relationship and will end up sending a mean of course he is my son but I just think where you stay with her she’s a tiny little fragile chick that can’t handle so why is he also feel like a lot of guys want to be that for women they want to be a good place for me it’s totally missing yes I had a girl the first time this happened I was I trying to break up with someone but I was like dragging my feet is like I don’t want to be an asshole I we were together for a long time and one day since I called me out on issues like if you want to break up with me do it I can handle it I know you think yes he was really cool and they are now I don’t want to see basically just she was just like do it you know I like the bad guy and pull the trigger point the gun owners like I didn’t have this it wasn’t her didn’t have the strength to survive the breakup it was me they didn’t have the strength to do it inflicting harm on anyone but that’s right thing in life is that sometimes you’re the one hurting another person and you don’t someone you care about and sometimes you’re the one being hurt by someone you care about its just how the world works and it’s it’s a bummer but you’re like I think guys are often given this message that this was a prince to the protector and part of what they’re protecting women from their feelings start love to protect her from the fact that I don’t like her like that that’s not part of a deal like she she can handle that what she can’t handle ultimately more helpful towards everybody is like personal growth yeah to certain Ingrid Michaelson says of course we all know it angered Mike every broken heart in the world still beats heartless creature if you break up with someone because you don’t want to be with them you’re to me it’s more heartless to stay with someone that you don’t want to be with I just comes out your advice tumblr has people can ask you questions yes how many questions are about i dont breaking up is hard and I know how to do it almost almost all of them yeah the comment thing everybody wants permission from someone else to do a break up because they they want to be absolved of feeling like a bad guy and girl that is genderless like everybody was resolved a feeling like a bad person but doesn’t make you a bad person to to hurt someone every if you’re doing it for the right reasons to not mean like that sounds bad like is it almost like the sadness you’re giving them is negative that’s necessarily a negative vibe like yeah you’re giving them a new emotion sadness and you’ve given them happiness and now you can give them anger and it’s just part of being human relationships change that’s what they do like that not all of them are positive changes but they end up if you know someone that doesn’t want to be with you like right if you if this girl found out like hey your boyfriend is with you because he thinks you can’t handle being alone do you want to be with him right oh no I don’t start being super heroes like we do need to be cool be cool slogan actually I wonder how this can you turn that if you’re out that was there do you think this is a completely metaphorical not really metaphorical but a question that can’t be answered all the breakups in America this year what percentage with the is the guy breaking up with the girl and the girl in question its 50 50 think it is right I don’t know that question could have just closed I mean it can be if it’s an even amount of people now let’s say the chance that is being of your questions you receive your not getting them mostly from do their due to its pretty sure they don’t even know what I think it’s awesome to you because I find when I’m reading the questions and there’s no gender mentor on I’ll put on it whatever I’m thinking that I have to back away I hope this can be a two-door lady I have no concept could be straight relationship could be gay when have no I have no way of knowing well I got one from a lady for sure do this are you ready to have a thick latina hey guys so I’m in quite the predicament my boyfriend and I have been dating for about a month now and at first I was sort of sexually attracted to him but now I’m becoming grossed out by him for example his neck hair really freaks me out and has moved make me think that I’m cuddling with an overweight twelve-year old and I just got it and I just being a shallow piece of shit he has a great personality but I can’t see myself ever being with him sexually which is kind of a big deal for him and it’s really becoming harder to put up sex should I break up with him I think he should be with someone who can do it willingly be with him sexually if so what should I tell him my reason is I think I might be gay so I could just tell that any advice would be greatly appreciated thanks I get turn by M night Shyamalan Wow also the year is 1608 shallow shallow to not sexually attracted to them I don’t think so I think it’s also if if it’s been a month to me that’s not a very long period of time I don’t really need to construct super thought-out reason it’s only been a month I don’t you just say hey for me I don’t think it’s necessary to look a human being in the eye and be like I’m not breaking up with you because your man boobs make me feel disgusted yeah yeah physical attraction or your physical appearances is something you can really work on it a little bit but I wouldn’t I don’t want an exit interview were simply yeah and there’s somebody who will be attracted to this guy and I’m also wondering where you sexually attracted to him at first and somehow it went away she said sort of so seems like she was giving a try and it tipped in the know sometimes when you’re with someone who has a great personality you’ll start to like love the things about them that maybe would have grossed you out before yeah but it also goes the other way that once you notice something oh yeah I here’s what I found I’ve done a relationship with the guy I kind of I can tell it’s not like great if not write their names just what the guys just it’s not going right and then I’ll find something like Seinfeld and manner like Chris look like just like yeah yeah and then that becomes the world is like that guys back here when really it’s about like we’re just not compatible I might be gay there’s a bunch of things going on but I say it’s about that because it’s the easiest most concrete write something that you can latch on to explain to your friends exactly he has too much neck area has man boobs there was a guy I dated that thought it was ok just fart like like like cocktail parties did not like loudly and like thought it was just like a cool and I i was like Street Sounds also but it was not just that it was that we were incompatible in a million different ways but it’s so much funnier and so much better to tell your friends like this confronted at every and thought it was fined a fart in like business meetings but it’s actually yeah I will fart I will fart yeah I’m a fighter he fired in front of her husband is that crazy no farting either a little not a lot we excuse ourselves we need to get super into all the details but it’s just like one of us will excuse ourselves and go to the better when that’s probably what’s going on do you wish the gates were open and now you’re fine with it and I think that is different for everybody I have no no qualms with people that do for them in couple then do I have always done it is like gates halfway halfway open a jar if I farted as much as I always kind of like us ya back here and then like I just have like loud smelly wet Saturday yeah but you don’t have to the ladies reciprocate the fighting I mean nobody for as much as I do except for you as my soulmate and I will die alone it happens in our house it’s not like a huge deal but like I don’t think at some point this will probably change but it’s been like yeah yeah we got elected eight years makes a habit right but you say it is not shallow to break up someone because you’re not sexually attracted to that relationship and sexually attracted to him because he doesn’t have a vagina attracted to you or somebody an excuse what do you mean I breaking up with you have to tell you why why why you yeah I think you owe them anything I think the the kind thing to do is to give some closure but it’s never it’s really on closure comes within you it doesn’t come from another person really ultimately we want to believe that someone is like here is your key city but really it’s like on us to kind of get the closure but I think it’s unkind thing to do even if it’s a little bit of a massaged truth yeah I think that’s also the best way to the danger in saying like YY breaking up with me well I really like your neck care and I don’t like your man boots I’ll go to the gym and I’ll shave oh yes like you know what the problem to be fixable if you stay awake why did you break while you’re breaking up with me I think the best thing to do is always be like I’m not emotionally invested in this and I don’t see myself getting their right and they would simply stated that it has to be a non fixable problem and then it’s also it helps that if it’s on you like nothing but then that’s that’s the cliche and you never want to say it’s not you it’s me but there are you can put it on yourself but isn’t everything both them and you like there will be acting I always especially working with couples you think of its three things in the room it’s the one person the second person and then the relationship between them is a third thing like its own its own existence that has like a pole sitter has way that it works like it’s a different yeah and so you you can you have two people but you also have this thing they created like a baby that they’ve made which is how they relate to people shadow figure in the back I think it is always of both people in some ways but that doesn’t mean you get 40% like a insurance after an accident like 60% like ultimately those numbers don’t matter but yeah if it’s like the point is if this is gonna work that’s always like this isn’t gonna work I’m sorry that’s the closure ya gotta go you don’t have to know exactly lies just is and I didn’t have those things where I’ve been done and then like just like frantically being like I could change I can change really would like to come back to you have got to come back and they did all this feels bad year with what you wanted the time machine to go back to before this felt bad that’s what you want to have that sucks and gather time machine breaking up is the next best thing like a time machine to the future like the doctor who you can’t like doctor yet totally actor whom alright we’re gonna take a break as the real quick one to take few sponsors but then we’ll be right back if you promise not to leave so we can we can borrow your brain for maximum will be back with more heavily after this thank you as well to Credit Karma I believe in destiny I believe in fate I believe in karma whatever goes around credit wise comes around credit was and it’s obviously things to Credit Karma wow I never thought of it like that you know you should call me slot machine has my Chrysler funny actually jake has my friends slot machine has my credit score is 77 77 a loser actually really love it’s extremely low you know your credit score is no I will you can find out if you use the credit Karma it’s both our website and an app for your phone you can see your credit score right now and it’s absolutely free all you gotta do is text if I were you 289 800 download the app and see what your creditors and you can do it for absolutely free it’s not shady than ever ask your credit card and everything is official and legit I don’t be like me you should know what your credit score is ufed you can find out you can support the show while you find it out if you just a few texts once again if I were you 289 800 if anything just downloading it helps us when people down less a text that link or text that code if I were you all one word no spaces perhaps all caps 28 9800 it out of the atmosphere your credit scores if its high you can spare engines the screen shot at making your tender biopic and then give little 75 actually let me look at the next couple 0000 braces Note II TV how dare he doesn’t matter is God I credit card eject it on credit Karma thanks again to credit card for sponsoring this episode we should mention one last time we are in Toronto this weekend please if you are anywhere near that Twp please come find us please come to our show please party with us it’s going to be fun I hope ya know how it’s going to be out of the country dude we can do some crazy shit when we’re up there no consequence that you can there’s no such thing as Canadian prison yeah I was gonna say that health care so that the worst that happens is you get a free surgery or worse we all get free surgeries this weekend subcontractors out also in Irvine in philadelphia all of that information on our website let’s get back to the shelter to Emily good work slot machine now and that was at like the ad didn’t like the idea of a good at like that specific at specifically we have recorded it by the time I’m talking but I’m sure it will be very kind of this episode it will hopefully have been recorded and it will have been good just like dat air for ninety seconds what’s your podcast oh yes I didn’t even mention that have a podcast called the indoor kids that’s about video games but it’s also about basically anything that keeps you endure so these TV shows books against yeah we just went to a board game convention was pretty fun yeah it was super fighting back just like an airplane hangar with nothing but like conference tables and then just really do people playing games all day long in Indiana Indianapolis Indianapolis superfund amazing cool there we ended up knowing we were recorded from like the floor as we were walking around but we didn’t like doing a live show there but I did get a bunch of Legend of Zelda holy shit I do like a good example it’s great there’s nothing more if you’re like an anxious human being and doing a puzzle it slows me down where more than like video games or anything else these days it’s like a great just the equivalent of that little break on this and getting a piece nothing feels better than getting a piece about doing a puzzle reporters here we need to do the out of the box to look at the box upside down just doing coke the entire time but our friends Jeff and Pat of in a bunch of episodes of her show if you’re listening and you want to hear more about Jeff and Pat you can check out this episode already developing some of our yes he was really early videos back in the day I was watching the one that Thomas middle-age did you guys yeah because I don’t know how it came up but he was talking about it so he said people still come up to him oh yeah all the time and do it like it’s a bad thing occurs oh yeah I love it I love those videos but he’s like but it’s still quite popular and our way back and watch them and their whole area is so funny I think those scripts we just wrote like in the second one for sure it was like a page and a half for us and then like one little bolton’s Thomas improvised didn’t like additions and sweater and a hot office doing the outtakes too I think about takes up yeah yeah he doesn’t know what a DVD is and it’s just us laughing and these guys come on I like another the world it’s like waking up to how genius he is like and so is my husband he was great yeah you should be read thomas I would never could never could never thank you alright cool and your book CPU GPU yes available on Amazon release your inner superhero and at your local bookstore my hope is my mom found at a Barnes Noble today that’s the coolest thing in the world the state’s a good picture of themselves having lunch with my book sitting between them and I thought I was like you have this experience with your mom but like my parents my grandparents can never really understand like a digital I couldn’t you like he has 500,000 views in my mouth and yes but like when there is a physical anything like a USA Today what time and my mom was like this you guys made it I do feel like older people want like a tangible yeah yeah I mean if we had a book in a store my mom would ship and then if that book was written by a one percent of the people that listen to our podcast will be a huge success our parents would love it so much more than this show anything we’ve ever done is there an audio version of your book is there’s a book you’ve read it I do I did it was very long it took me it’s only four full days like and and when I got there they sent me a bunch of the CDs and it’s over six CDs its nine and a half hours that’s it’s a digital thing that i can download it is also an audible yeah yeah but to me because I like reading and I am NOT good at like listening to books so I keep in mind that there but everyone like no that’s the thing yes yes yes and it’s me and I kept being like when I was doing the reading I was like I may come off in like two little asides and they’re like know your career with other disease and Tina Fey ok so I had to read it word for word yourself then like reading an entire thing like editing a little bit as you do it by yourself with like a guy from super far away from you going to do that again it was a great experience but it was like it was very interesting why not get his job recording podcast right now we’re on track gateway drug cool good good then it’s agreed to some questions another lady her name is Thursday really nice directly making this story yeah so hey guys and Emily my boyfriend and I are both in college and we’ve been dating each other for a year and a half now we’ve recently started sexting and he keeps asking me to tell him I quote nah de-iced fantasy I don’t really have one so I asked him what his was and he immediately started talking in great detail about my roommate catching us having sex and then joining us this makes me feel really uncomfortable because I don’t like thinking about her like that I feel like I wouldn’t want my roommate and her boyfriend including me in their sexting and I’m also afraid he might have a thing for my roommate should I be worried and should I say something or show or is this just some sort of fantasy that I should let him play out thanks so much love Searcy interesting yeah I got I’d certainly have an opinion but I don’t know I think that’s a little fucked up I that’s ballsy for the guy is just like when I’m telling somebody my fantasy was asked my fantasies like I know that they will want to do something to make it come true that’s why you tell someone he’s the one who brought it up he’s like what’s your fantasy she said i guess i dont have it will mind you and your roommate but that’s so he’s saying that knowing that life he’s the waters yeah it’s manipulative is what it is so like you could I could be like hey my fantasies like you wanna Princess Leia costume and that would happen when they would do something like the one on one thing yeah but I feel like it’s you and Cameron Diaz and you could entertain you could talk about that but it’s a it’s you and your roommate is too if I would call about i fuckd hard because it’s like let’s talk about her inner secrets and then he says he’s like that but he could have been like you and I are having sex and someone comes in and I yeah I guess that’s totally fine but when you take it you like a specific I wanted to be this person and I wanted to be on a Thursday and what are you doing on Thursday very specific and then you feel bad because you like should shouldn’t I be more fun and should I want to do this I think what she should do is respond so I just remember what my fantasy is it’s you and I having sex and then your roommate walks in and then the three of us bone that’s it like I call your bluff alright let’s do this to do to do and then lets you want to see how this feels like there’s no quicker way to quell the desire inside a guy my fantasy somebody else entirely and you’re not in the room that really gets me is me and two other day actually not even watching I do I want you in the closet and you also have headphones on and I’m a cuckold fantasies don’t be ashamed of what your sexual fantasies are ever unless there and then come on get some of those but also kind of be aware that when you’re communicating them beware of how the other person having this fantasy I got fantasies like that but you don’t articulate them to the person who I mean but it’s hard because you want to tell this person to be open and honest oh no and what if it’s a three some canny never say that I think that is a conversation that every couple has to explore but I feel like the threesome conversation and there’s no like polite nice way to but also tough to bring up it’s one thing to bring up I wanna have a threesome cause I think that will spice up our sex life and it’s another thing to bring up I wanna have a threesome with ya then you like I think you just want to fuck out and that’s not really a fantasy I mean yeah and that’s not OK and I for it is but even have it the question I would respond with us like is it cool if it’s someone other like and I’m just throwing this out there whatever the two of you went to a hotel hired a prostitute and I said to the prostitute what I want you to interrupt us walk in on us and then we can all have sex because I think what tripped up a lot of girls is all that means is lasting after my friend when honestly a lot of time the guy is just like trying to think of another person it’s not even about that roommate is just about like I wanted to be another girl how cool would that be and maybe the girl be more open to that now are you just want to have the right only get so that’s what sex workers sex workers prostitutes like they’re there for like to help you with anything and there’s no strings no strings two years your your your your your pro prostitutes ok I’m getting into a new approach to toots I don’t want to entice 22 I would you know if they’re taking care of themselves when they feel good about what they’re doing and they’re getting paid and do what they need to do I don’t I do not have a problem with it and I i feel like that they’re there to help sometimes to help couples do stuff that’s fun that you know that involve different Kathy have you have you heard of the render the 220 mentioned rendered me the other day and I don’t know if that’s what it is its first singles to find couples or couples to find something that’s also good to me like the less strings attached when you’re talking about fantasies ya better I’ve always liked you never want to have a threesome I don’t think everyone have a threesome with somebody that you all know yes it’s got to be a stranger look like a prostitute can be very good actor I’ll just say that oo I caught ya you should do it like some additions and then maybe you may be returned to central casting and then you can get an extra someone who’s been doing background work at the very least she camera ready now she’s ready really good option solid one I was reading a ladies like a Cosmo or something and the question that the girl had asked like road into that advice column was I I had a threesome my boyfriend I had a threesome with our pal and the next morning I decided to run out and get everyone coffee and breakfast and when I came back they were going at it without me and my boyfriend and my friend without me my butt was did you leave the room the fuck is wrong with you are moving again if you leave if you if you feel so threatened to leave that your boyfriend fucking this other girl then something’s wrong with your relationship you gotta trust the boy dub it little leave him alone for 15 minutes late get coffee I think you got a set time the only thing is that you’re not in the room a great relationship tendencies I don’t think you can have a threesome i like it so the line between three way and that need to be set up ahead of time I’m all for it even though it’s not super sexy if it’s gonna be a threesome hypothetical ahead of time that I like nothing without me there like like whatever rules you want to set up your look me in the eyes don’t let her make you cum when i SAT up and if they had set up ahead of time because this poor Jimmy this for dummies boyfriend was like I gotta do it last night and don’t forget to like and they act like they got caught come on in the question I think they just kept going at it and can just picture of one of our podcast we like this dude and his girlfriend participated in an orgy and then the guy who got sort of you jealous and he left and the girlfriend stayed in there and like continue to fuck with people and he was very offended it’s hard you have to keep me the room you’re only setting yourself up to be really heard you got to be together you’re either in it all the way together or one of you leave the other one probably should leave too dangerous thing to test people sure oh yeah there was just dust and this is a real down but there was a story about the murder-suicide that happen or attempted murder-suicide that happen to you last year was not successfully stabbed in the neck but did not kill him and then jumped to his death and they were like what happened they seem to be friends what was going on and there was a girl in the room they’ve been having a threesome and she got upset that his girlfriend was like really enjoying this other guy too much so he stabbed in the neck and then jumped to his death that since easily decide to do it like that moment like the less he was thinking about the whole time no but I’m like well that’s the worst-case scenario oh why’d ya lucked out in the murdered I suppose that’s true too funny guy survived and then he jumped out of the window just broke his leg will not even the girls are clearly the I’m totally fine I’m doing fine they had their own issues clearly one second RBI full towered and then the next it’s just a TiVo died got injured survivors are still the wave in New Haven represent man bread when is the next got out his dad was the girl was like the first test they took after that like how do you like alright yeah imagine can ask general questions are running low on time more answers out of you therapy for everybody or recommended for literally everybody would I think it to me if you’re in a good place it’s like a spa day a little bit like a massage or something like you’re doing things to take care of yourself and like so you don’t get any other relationships in the world where you get it all about you ya like it shouldn’t be like that in any other relationship but this is a relationship it’s not about the therapist that you don’t get to hear about their life you don’t care about their life you shouldn’t but like they’re just there to listen to you whatever you have to say a good place it’s just that just meet I’m basically but if you’re not a great place it’s good to kind of help you find the skills you need to move into a good place so I do think it’s for everybody alright so I’ve never done therapy should do it well I always feel like I would do it if it like if somebody made the appointment for me I just had to go to a play therapy Hoover Hoover is there a three-under for therapists to your house to be cut this part out their idea what if it’s a rough duration of post mates but instead a charcoal it mental health therapist go to therapy I did and I and my program we were required to go through therapy while we were in school are you more conscious of like how to get there but I also like it’s like it’s just like any relationship it’s less about like how much training they have and what they’re like approaches and more like do you get along with this person when you sit down across from them that’s it takes to you yes he’s a good therapist to somebody in addition there and you feel judged and unlike like they’re not they think that you’re a bad person like anything feels off your gonna feel uncomfortable cuz it’s uncomfortable at first to talk about yourself to a stranger but if you’re feeling like this is not working and you don’t ever want to talk to them about your stuff don’t keep going I know a lot of people there like you just go through yeah there’s tons of them literally hundreds of thousands of don’t see that one again if you’re feeling so what’s the easiest way for me to find out there I really like Psychology Today which is an oddly amazing magazine it shouldn’t be as great as it is but it’s like amazing they have on their website a thing called a therapist finder and you put in your zip code and then you can put an insurance stuff and you can also like just find their bitter nearby I tell people if you’re like a liberal kind of person and I was like for people that work with gay lesbian populations because even though I’m not to me it’s ignores this is a person with an open mind that kind of their values might reflect mine and if I’m looking for someone who would absolutely no try to help these hidden as your filter by this guy doesn’t speak to gauge how do you find that out doctor gay people to not that I am gay but I did not enjoy it you look like religious people there they have a lot of caveat themselves there actually are like they categorize themselves because if your religious therapies which they absolutely exist you probably don’t want to see someone who’s like an atheist yeah I was just like make a real income to be thrown off a little bit baby baby baby nine dudes and that’s what the people want to be able to really like I think there’s clearly laid out and there’s good people on it friends there are no no my friends gonna give you your friends go to i maybe wouldn’t go to the same person like your significant other go through just cuz that’s like it just gets a little weird but some people do that but I personally yeah alright psychologist today Psychology Today finder and it’s great and it also can put in fighting scale which is an option which means that instead of going through insurance you just pay out of pocket but you pay based on what you make good for maybe your listeners that only have a small chunk of change yeah yeah so much real threesome girl I think she should find out she’s I just want to finish dinner and she needs to decide if she actually wants to have a threesome and entertain the fetish she does in general in general and I would and I think it’s ok to call him out for his made her feel shitty yeah you wanna be completely honest and you could say I’m down to do this but this part if you are don’t even down to just like she may just be done to sext about a threesome fun times but never do it yeah just like to to live out the fantasy a little bit but you know not to do it with the roommate cause you to feel like that sort of cultivating of your girls never expected just be like totally down with everything a mother first date way for the second is that on the back of your book read or do they do they’re expected to just like 13 things immediately one table immediately like it’s ok to like sex just sex totally great just fondling and not even having sex totally great you know have to do all the things all the time nothing’s wrong with mission call Emily Gordon yes thank you again for your great great great great questions we should have you back there so many more questions that are that need you need your wisdom yeah and if you have your own questions for Emily but mostly from AJ has to be replaced by a record shit you have your own questions for us it’s if I were you show @ gmail.com thank you to our recording the opening theme song and Emily what what’s your twitter or whatever you want people to how how do people find out whether I’m the dynamite great man if I thought about what I signed up maybe something closer to my own name its tha eg yn 0 mi te dynamite nice and Tumblr I met Emily Gordon . tumblr.com awesome thank you Emily and this closing theme song is by Shane McInerney and his accomplice in rhyme Daniel Sedin thanks for this year but he will be back next week hate them