Episode 188: Red Dot (w/Jonathan, Jerah, and James III!)

Friends and hosts of “Black Men Can’t Jump in Hollywood” join us to discuss ghosting, fading away, and unread texts! This one is a party.

This episode is brought to you by SkurtApp.com, BirkSun, and ClubW!

this is ahead government class Monday December 14 my voice feels real good amazing you know we just got back from tour baby and Lee have an awesome new sponsor for you and that sponsor is actually a nap and that app is called skirt as K U R T skirt girl good girl how would you describe it yellow skirt is disrupting the auto rental game which is very necessary I am all for saying fuck the man that she is owned by like four for major corporations that own all the rental cars and these guys are committed it come in and they’re saying but that and I am so down with it it’s a fight at the dope out it’s really nice it’s a it’s basically an on demand rental car delivery within a few taps in less than five minutes you can rent a car and you can have that card delivered to you it almost looks like uber except instead of getting a a driver you just get a two-car yeah and it works really really well at the airport we landed at LAX and there was a guy waiting there for us to deliver us to the car so if it does happen in SI god damn hero because you walk off there’s a person holding a sign with your name you get into a black car yeah which is the cause of a car that you like that’s great then they bring you to your rental car put the keys in your hand and you’re off that’s not the way to let you know that any paperwork that’s right everything you hate about rental car companies these people hate it even more than a mile outside of the the airplane outside the airport the super long line to get to the front they tell you that they don’t have the car that you ordered cos you’re late for your early for your reservation trying to upsell you try to put the government in your car for $9 a day with your vote will do it this i really earlier episode I went off on ya budget or they are bad skirt says no more time-consuming paperwork no more under 25 rental fee under twenty five-year-old rental fee no more gas market fees everything you hate gone and the prices are still really low and why don’t we make things even better for you why don’t we make the prices even lower how if you use our coupon code if I were you get $100 off your first rental that’s $10 off a day up to 10 days down the vehicles the app is really sleek look and it looks like you know like hotel tonight Aruba like those are just as nice looking haps you to look at the car has yet to see the price it’s like that thing the little slider today that it got leaked its sleek ok virtually it’s only available in Los Angeles right now but they’re rolling out to San Francisco New York in other big cities in 2016 so download the app so you got it when they do they’ll pick you up like we said anywhere your home your office your hotel your Airbnb they also pick up the car when you’re done with it so no more having to deal with dropping it off no more having to deal with picking it up skirt makes it all easy to download it but a skirt app dot com that’s SKU RT AP P dot com use the promo code if I were you I’d always offers rental abductor make the holidays a little less stressful that their slogan as well as Logan alright this was a fun episode 3 guess three very own had gone podcasters yeah we we had the black man from the black men can’t jump podcast on her show sarraj on James the third we actually went on their podcast episode is available we discussed white men can’t jump then we had them on our podcast just dispense in some wisdom so why don’t we just get into right now there’s a real enjoy you welcome back to if I were you no not welcome back that was the perfect interview for you one more time ready we just heard something great with the way this episode is more of a party than anything else we have 3 guests for the first time ever wow Dr James John Jake I’m having a name is cool yeah yeah yeah I guess I can have a gene name if you want to give me one like what do you think what do I look like a net what about Josh a Joseph his name is Jim Maher JB Nelson yes marquai’s Asin hot gases about renaming be be slightly cooler guys thanks for coming on our program thanks for having us to know these guys are the hosts of their own show on the network that’s right so technically I won’t have bob is like a review with the boss I will tell you right now by the end of this podcast only two of you will be the host of black men and how is that fair fight to the death already fighting for microphone if I will thanks for coming on our program you guys really appreciate your home court right now produces home gardening job Nick all of the time has ever talked on our part niggas never smoked niggas never said anything I wanna gerät feels the need to bring up his time and now it’s hard not to acknowledge is present there’s two other people in the room right now other producers are popular another podcast engineer Cody who is that from and they get their engineer but he didn’t have good hair like Nick and we definitely the best looking producer 55 I’ve never seen another hour put money on one of the best-looking humans that yes I love it whenever whenever it’s Nick and I feel like everyone is a picture of him but he isn’t it more and Nick Nick Nick Nick being a dick on your guys podcast it’s I feel like it’s a very intellectual discourse just breaking apart race gender stereotypes in film and then there’s chicken my podcast which is just like advising people that whether or not they should break up their girlfriends hot as it is important to specific to people and less important to everybody else I don’t have a girlfriend so I mean yeah let’s start with that just so he just so we’re fully open up a single understand your viewpoint going forward I am I’m dating someone so happily dating someone and that’s why I’m not dating anybody I fear that I fear little it’s dangerous it’s like they’re nice can I say this though the president dating is my first girlfriend ever I didn’t know that how have you been dating for over a year and a half now I think older you 2700 2730 series dating right now is this my last girlfriend thank you alright thanks for coming everybody will know so you guys you guys understand it is a device podcast people email us their their their questions they’re sort of seeking our wisdom and guidance sometimes is Jake and I sometimes we’re joined by friends today we’re joined by the most amount of friends we are at three in the same room five people wonder how people can not whose voices are sure to make those two dudes with my I wonder if we just said two people draw on the mic anybody would call us out for that if we just said there’s two people in the room there’s one guess yeah it’s me doing voices like Carl Winslow are you guys opinionated you guys down to help at least lender was all like you can do all day yeah definitely ready yet honest all you had to be as honest you gotta promise me you’ll see what you think absolutely i think im gonna be really good at this ok ok I actually agree I think you would be the best at this front will be the best alright ready yeah this is also a part of a show we have to come up with nicknames for these real people do you wanna start giving us a fake name for a guy let’s say Charles Charles love love that Charles love right three years ago I dated this chick and we ended up breaking up because I was a dick 2 2013 and we start dating again it’s been about two and a half years and things are starting to go back to the way it was before I’m finding her too clingy and annoying and not that attractive even though she’s like a seven point nine out of 10 we’re always getting into arguments and honestly I don’t know whether to break up with her not I want to but when I think about breaking up with her I miss the sex and stuff i dont wanna feel lonely I always feel like I can get with other girls when I’m with my girl but I hate the feeling of dating her or even screwing somebody else and then I get jealous when she talks to other boys I know I sound like a dick but maybe I’m still with her because I don’t want to be alone I’m twenty so how would I do guys and I break up with her keeper have one last route and then boot some days I do feel like I love her but other days not so much wTF is wrong with me help please sincerely charles love who was the first to tackle me in the face Charles Charles and she’s a 7.1 is a 7.9 girlfriend he said his girlfriend and attractive you know what’s happening now charles to use the biggest shit out I have to agree with John Mallee just ok I know ok looks like any race he might be ok and all races he’s still an asshole you think it looks like I’m on Shumpert right now it’s also a gold chain variable last first of all I do have to say though crazy more sensitive its I mean I’m not gonna defend all Charles Jackson I do think the way that he’s looking at relationships the little problematic ran out shore but you’re not crazy also here very young and it makes sense that you would like be thinking about other girls and even when you’re the most happily married people think about that all of his problems disappear when we heard he was twenty yeah I think it was like three years ago I broke up there and then we got back to my old behave five and a half years in 2009 when it’s done I will say to juror had maybe two drawers point he was trying to say but like when you look when you’re in a relationship for love and like you have to know that there’s gonna be some days that are not going to be as good as others rate that’s natural but that doesn’t mean that like the relationship with Ms that being said just wanting to stay with someone just because you like having sex with them and you’re jealous of them having sex with somebody else is not a good really hard to have when you’re like 16 right post 20 like I don’t need a girlfriend so I can have sex anything like a girlfriend is a little bit more prohibitive to be having sex I have way more sex when I’m single then in a two and half year relationship especially when it’s when you can go out if I feel like we’ve been doing like that in this room to roam wonderful men in general colin do and being jerks we asked about his right now we don’t know if this 2000 told him to step up or just be nice to be you know he’s gonna be a thirty year old that’s what me being angry with you I love you charles but now now here’s my thing though what are you saying you should do is sit down and do you really like her and if you don’t like her as a human like if you like hanging out with their if you don’t like being around her without having sex while the hardest the hardest break-ups the hardest breakups are ones that don’t like stepped out of a specific fight or reason like two times here or like remember feeling like my wishes did something bad would give me a reason I can point to bill you cheated on so a lot of times people are just like I’m just gonna be so mean to her until she does something awful then I have a reason or she’ll break up with me and I can get out of it the problem is breaking up is so hard because you will feel lonely afterwards so like that that’s the hardest kind of breaking up to do especially when you’re 20 because you don’t know what’s gonna happen between 20 and 30 this is like 20 percent of his life has been with this girl so he’s like holy shit what am I supposed to do without or maybe what if I don’t find anybody else odds are he will find somebody knows who I feel like really like 820 nothing’s actually happened yet you don’t have a career you’re not like you’re gonna grow up you probably haven’t even finished growing as a man this is what does that tell us we’re like nowhere 30 we get it is like a 3000 relative to the new jobs is James there and the nave does carry a lot of the whole time and doesn’t sound like you’re talking about her and how you feel about her and you might not want to be alone but that doesn’t have anything to do with her the sax also I’m sorry to say it does have anything to do with her sex feels good it does sometimes it’s not the best time but like sex but sex feels good at it does so you gotta like drive was saying you gotta like you gotta be a man and you gotta think about how you feel about her and if you love her and want to be with her then you need to stick it out but only just have one and done or whatever fuck did last month one less room it’s been good one American food is what it called it can’t be a friend of people going to be here is probably British I mean how often do people stay together because it’s like oh I don’t want to fuck somebody else I mean that’s a real quick if you like some possessive weirdest I don’t care about how her whoever she wants so we’re not define who think like that but it’s like I had a thought of like let me tell you why but it is it is a very gender bias thing where is like I feel like I like women but men are such as those in a way where is like a man and woman can agree to have sex but they do give a fuck her and side crash language was like that they have like is so like harnessing that the same one you love or loved is like that like just a thought like casting somebody is it that violate the defense like that why should I don’t know right especially cuz you spent the last two and a half years in a relationship with a man I’m going to the parks and go to a museum in meeting her family you just got drunk with her 19 you get to fuck her that’s a that’s what she wants like somebody like if if Charles go up and let’s go out and just get like raw fucked like hell yeah then she gets to do that is she single I mean he can care and that’s not a reason to stay and I feel like he’s also like using that idea as like is that love wondering if that’s what you know what he’s going he’s going I’m I feel bad when I think about her being with someone else security right I would say that I was that last point shows like do love you know because you will want to do you want to make her happy you will stop thinking about your happiness you start thinking about her and if all you’re doing that which it sounds like honestly from your question if all you’re doing is saying about your happiness and how much she’s not making you happy that it’s like to get out of it because that’s what love is about love about making the other person happy i always thought love was just maximize like now the most you like somebody is love and it’s different when you’re thirty the maximum becomes a different amount of maxillary but I’m very analytical mathematical the same things like ya sea of love is like very leg leg I like it the most my conscience is like ok I’m deciding whether to go into like appointing become love is like going to get to the point of love you know it’s very likely risk let’s do it right some people start out with love and get lower I think I start I would like and get higher start out with love and I get lower I just need to like know when to adjust like the levels yeah so they always fall in love at the drop of a hat so most of the time like looking not for love it all every once every couple of years of my time for love and had like basically whoever’s nearby just get a cactus once was the first to be advised this man to step up to us it’s true I feel like at age twenty three and a half years of being the relationship you gave it a go what else is out there run amok and James were and like that to me but also don’t don’t be a dick and don’t be like the reason I’m leaving use because I want sex with other people I don’t know if I would have liked a more robust expand its to say that it’s hard to say that without that I was saying it’s hard to break up with some of that is specific like 23 we like both being so cryptic and finally most likely yes I want to sleep with other people I was like yes I was under your posting now proud of it and maybe still a maybe now I don’t have a lot of people goes to coast to coast before when you come through like four different and now I guess I may stop texting but about to light a post like show raises one time I post it posted our podcast and I did not respond to text messages in like three or four days you can post like that’s very bad I am sorry for not hiding her in your face looks like it was my fault again on my issue with ghosting is one it’s easier for the coaster it’s easier for you not to do anything that actually deal with the confrontation but to what is he hoping to get out of calling you out like it whenever Im ghosts and I’m never just like hey you ignored me and it’s like ok I’m putting her in a position where she goes to recently you know it happened like you not like Japan’s on how long how long the communication has happened for I guess but I also like 20 years but I think I think it’s like people are so afraid of confrontation but it’s like well I don’t know I guess it’s because some of the people when they respond so badly to like hearing it’s just like i dont wanna have to stare someone or text them and say listen i dont wanna hang out with people that you would contemplate that could handle their news everybody can I can’t be with you just a beautiful person was gonna stab you do much worse than you that in reality it’s it’s the more it’s the more polite thing to do even leave it at that even about the time they feel like anger eventually they’ll be like one glad I know it’s better to know now than 280 I’d write a question to be like yeah it’s called the fading away like they don’t know that’s dropping steadily disappearing on the right thing that’s goes it’s a it’s a slogan for like an hour to ya just naturally so that even if you get it right away even if I don’t respond to know that you can respond right away yeah I’m sorry no its a hundred percent sure this isn’t even just for girls this is everybody people should not have access to you 24 7 that’s what you have to do to tighten the faucet yeah you really got to be a drip just be like the floodgates are open now having full on like back and forth conversation but it does speed up very quickly like you wait an hour she waits 48-47 slower to be confusing others like I was I was I went on a dinner date with his girl and we can talk about today I wanted to do with his girl and and I thought we had a good time and she said we had a good time as you like let’s go out again like she said that as sexy they’re trying to figure out a time every time he was kind of busy and then I realized oh she’s like slowly goes yeah and then I just like hey if by the way if you don’t wanna go out just tell me and I’ll stop asking you in 2000 yeah sorry I guess I don’t like easy to just text me that like I don’t know you just text me you don’t care like I was trying but if it’s the 10th day you don’t wanna go on an eleventh that may be because i text you I do it in person but like I still think telling somebody’s trade-up is just a better way because then it’s like they know and then like it they start acting crazy then that’s their fault but if you start ignoring somebody how do they know it’s like you’re busy or not you don’t like I don’t want like 57 10 however many girls it will end up being before I kill myself out there mad at me I want at my funeral when the girls come together if they do I think they should all come to me I don’t want to be an accident there’d be like eight different people being like we were so close United you know that’s hard to have that conversation but I think it makes you the best look like the better person later on maybe that’s another layer of cells I wanna be such a good person that I’ll be honest with them that I’m not even worried about them and just worried about their percent I mean yeah but you still did the thing that was everybody prefers honesty true origin rather be ghost to me twice I think it’s it’s to dodge texana non-response that’s the reason goes it and I was like oh I respect what you just did it we went on a date it was one of my coworkers friends of ours china is not to be I we gotta gotta like in court earlier so we went to like two and a half hours dinner right now as an adult when we had to like eat like talk time it was fun leave their we start to the week and I’m like ok did the date was very weird because I guess you are supposed to lab yeah and I was like oh my hope was like hey would you do me like twice anyway keep on and I am A cero Monday Thomas set up a date to ok least likely ever happens at least I was like hey you heard from me date to plan his day and then on a good day to stop here former things like oda text not go through after the date was planned to me out like oh maybe Saturday too busy I was gonna be like later later then heading back somewhat ok if you’re busy or does the ghost moment this is the moment and I’m gonna let this rap we’ll see what happens ok here’s an exam III let me just say yes we do something else if you want to go to happen but also I respect you for like you know it before today to have more money I’m going to stop but doing it when you respect more like it’s ok that you’re fine with it but that’s not a thing to be respected for something that was hard she did the easiest thing to do it’s it’s it’s tough because it’s tough right because she did save you another dinner about the results another dinner by just like hey I do I’m not feeling that she did and I was like a video game did you did as a fellow goes there have to see when the goes on this is the next couple of day this is agree to disagree I could date and stop talking to each other really easily be done a look when people goes I get it I understand it but it’s just like I’m just like it would happen so much quicker and you would save me like three or four attacks I like being on my phone because some people are actually been james hasn’t said allies want him to have the final word the closing argument I mean I’m just gonna say it is about ghosting we have human beings have worked for for just too many years to develop what has become our current day language ok and we are failing our selves by choosing to not communicate so really you know it you would save yourself a lot of time and a lot of heartache a lot of pain if you just tell people how you feel no no team has a last word change has the last word next question so maybe there is no absolute truth maybe some people prefer goes in some people do ya ask questions we’re actually roughly over halfway done so little one will take a break we got we got really deep and we did a pivotal I feel like we answer five questions but only one with us we’ll be right back after these commercial breaks gonna come may be over but the holidays are still upon us and what better gift is there then as solar powered backpack from work Sun dot com irks son de ir que su and dot com another great sponsor for today’s episode tell you what these guys are disrupting the backpack gave Toulon these corporate fat cats like North Face and Patagonia areas 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internet East has how many unread texts how many unread conversations in your phone right now one hundred and thirty exactly a hundred and clergy email this is a test text you didn’t even open so like you’ll see that you’ll see the beginning of a sentence dot dot dot and be like I don’t even wanna finish that like because of the whole preview thing I call preview the text and I’m like I can’t do this right now and then never deal with it right and then I just let it sit there so idk of the 130 how many of them are from boys it’s not like okay i’m not i’m not it’s not like every text on receiving as Lake right you did say many of them are dudes I mean he is employed I don’t even know if I’ve ever gotten a text hundred and thirty different people in my life now can I ask you this do you mind reading 10 late May 21 I wanna know like a later one that I’m trying to see the last text I’m trying to look at it was one from like like my roommate they suffered badly she said I was gonna be like great just open it did not respond the Red Dot ok yes yeah I want them or just makes you feel powerful 200 texts and respond and respond before we started this like it’s the same sort of like girls on tender I girls on tenderly I i hold the power anyways just like popularity is like the girls have to have to be proactive about it the same assay mentality it’s just not an app it’s like to talk about how do you see some of them like do you get like the notification and you can like kinda see part of a general I see most I can read like the white one on Thursday my friends friends about to die if you go out text my friend and it was his friends number I just do your number right if it’s like someone I know so I know I know some women sometimes I like they won’t save a guy’s number in the phone so I even have a dude like test yes I guess I mean look at me and my phone situation as a whole different breed ok I will you do that right I don’t like people say nobody number until I have two number for contact organizations right okay I’ll text message you scroll I don’t understand your phone right now this is a party or something don’t you want to at least market has read to get rid of the dots like this in the dot bother you know it and likes that she likes people get all unread emails people get off an unknown applications I see people like they have a 305 just click that by my father and you don’t want to do it cause you like looking at the number because it makes you think more people know I’m a competent young women know my my generation is what the whole life are based on like instant gratification like likes on Facebook likes this is contradictory think it’s not all my friends most of my friends hate that I don’t open the messaging me gets annoying the comment I mean it is in certain contexts to be fair literally I strolled past one that was like from 18 to those like groups you forgot to pay your bill last week to like it’s like a cannon open that but I also I should delete it but I just have encountered but emails I totally open that’s what about ghosting are any of those 130 you not responding to a wiring about you I don’t do if we’re if we’re getting look at it’ll be the fade away it’ll be like explain the fade away I love you guys away the pain away then it’s not goes transparent ok know a good thing is different than just Street ignoring like that’s the steadfast be likened so on my bike interactions of human males are like with like three people I know so it’s like we keep hanging out there we go back to being friends like i just i don’t i don’t do the extra stuff like us texting us now because that’s changing that’s an extra doing what you’re doing is your friend zone in them okay because we’re not friends they were you know it was you know it was you know it was you know he likes you and he tries to make the move will put you back in the friend zone box if you hate here’s the thing though if you want to be friends with her that’s his prerogative he could stop being friends there that she’s not friends owning him she’s like we were friends and if you had an ulterior motive why we are friends you to that place in the first place I must enjoy as a human I enjoy being around you know do you ever say because this goes back to my point was before it ever say we should we are better as friends but the last few to be fair to me cause I feel like a lot of heat right now 5290 a lot of women when I was yelling before about the gratification of checks Facebook notifications and it wasn’t a female there was everybody there guys who do it too ok I just want to represent something later I’m here feeling it out for you you’re welcome know but it’s the last time this happened this same situation but I was the person being told like a like this is weird let’s be friends again and I was fully final that just be a friendly conversation not a big deal so literally way people give them and receive them are so different yes I don’t necessarily want to be told like hey we’re better off as friends sometimes like I wanna be trusted that all understand that and that’s because you do that to other people and you’re like yeah that’s how you want to be treated yourself but in the opposite you want to be treated how you treat other people yeah that we don’t feel as guilty but it also sounds a little loaded everyone myself oh speaking for mankind to do it was like you know again but if you live in one hour like allowed to mess up for a lot of like to prove that you’re not like you got like as you should be anyway with sometimes I just want to be like your friend so that guy has probably always made his intent is a social cues of like I like you IMG which it now it is becoming a mix of like oh two singles and so maybe the guy doesn’t like a date now this is the official then the whole friends thing happens in his like we weren’t friends like I was always trying to pursue you just you just in Syracuse’s you were attracted to me and now I mean with no but then are you saying that like are you saying that like that moment before the day you weren’t friends like you can pursue some but it’s different it’s different is there for her age in our age group but like once you are here once you get out of school like you can’t tried to befriend like trying to be friends with somebody just so that you can have sex with them or date them to work friend needs to be like that people use the word friend in a very gray asked if you had you we have we have conversations with friends in adding is the way I define like especially comes to gender and I feel like it when I do not at any point then it will want to have sex with my friends because they are legit a friend if there’s a point in your friends you don’t want to be you make the distinct lines I feel like a friend is someone you don’t see is like a strike like I’m like yes you may be talking like we’re just not that’s not a thing like basically nothing is if there’s a day where women are doing the same thing hear me out though he’s just because a guy is nice doesn’t mean he’s trying to be your friend he’s probably trying here’s my thing it’s as if you wants to be more than a friend then he needs to stay and if he hasn’t set it and then when he finally does a person like no I think we should just be friends cuz that’s what we were and I wasn’t really trying to be a friend like that we’re friends was doing things off I keep saying that you weren’t friends you like open against the signals what do you think it’s the romantic comedy problem because a romantic comedies right please please like you know in romantic comedies right there’s the do the guy he’s like oh he’s a nice guy and they never said it right he’s never liked you at the Friends of great place to be I fucked my friends all the time that’s the way you get in like if I think it’s wrong to despair in the friend zone like oh she fucking friends on me that means she likes you that means like you can get to know somebody like you can elevate yeah I agree with he would take this as a friend zone where the problem is that the print there’s a lot of expectations were like I wanna fuck before relationship studies on that like younger people especially economically and stuff like do all the really serious relationship stuff like during sex first and all that stuff just to figure out your compatible that before like getting super invested we don’t we don’t function X Y and Z levels like people do that first like I just like that sort of real a real thing that’s happening in the world right now we’re not answered any of the questions or questioned alright we could be one more question but I feel like the more we’re all sharing a female name a fake female name for us chartreuse wow the party now hosts his own pocket so I’ve been hanging out with the guy recently but every time it’s late and fellow already know if this is going to have been hanging out with a guy recently but every time it’s late and it’s time to go to bed he refuses to sleep over I’ve asked him why and he won’t say he just says it’s because it just doesn’t want anything to happen but we’ve already hooked up he keeps asking to hang out but with no sleepovers insight and I being inconsiderate asking for sleepovers or is this normal signed searchers it’s just answer this is very clear-cut ok he doesn’t he just wants to sleep with you and he doesn’t want anything more than that and for him that’s the borders that he’s putting up he’s he’s making sure I’m not a sleepover because of that cause then when you sleep over then there’s a morning thing then you might have to do something together in the morning cuz you together and you know that a president that have to do anything so like he’s just setting up very clear borders for himself so like if you want something were to happen and you know that he doesn’t stop doing it to you if you don’t care then what do you guys like sleepovers and I’m just saying what he probably personal problem is really gassy rolls around it’s North yeah you could be a sign or he could be a gassy you can be get you gas anywhere well as sleeping what did you think about what I just would like to see the truth I would say I would say yeah he’s probably not down to take the Super this but I also know how I don’t know what her situation or what this is exactly what you don’t know what she wants right she want from both sides the fact of the so she did was ask like to sleep over she said that she was never like I would really like it if it would make me feel better she saying to us well I think what I think if so that’s my thing is like it she saw it she really wants him to sleep over but doesn’t necessarily want a relationship i sending us a necessarily because they know we should talk about I don’t know if we have time but like sometimes women will say maybe Mendes 2 I’m sure they do but I’ve experienced when will say I don’t wanna be leadership but they don’t mean that they just say it cuz they know that when a guy wants to hear but the fact that was done at the same time of personal experience I’ve experienced that models and have heard my friends tell me the same thing million wasn’t a friend at a little mad for the record maybe that was it 10% but the truth so chooses what you need ok you gotta you gotta find out you know i mean you gotta find out what is a version of sleeping over is you gotta tell them why you want to sleep like it you just like to cuddle but doing but it’s not a love for you if that’s what it is ok cool if you wanna know condo and you wanted to be loved that’s also cool but you gotta tell him if he’s if he’s asleep Friday asked him you gotta ask him why he doesn’t want to sleep you gotta see what that’s about gotta talk it out ya know what’s happening right now ok I could tell it was one of two things is based we’ve been talking about shots being friends don’t just sit there are no no no no it’s a reverse reverse she said we’ve already she said that she’s a we already hooked up already hooking up in the past so what that means is Jeremy out things like god knows I mean who knows what the situation was when he did hook up it may have only happened once but what if she still is looking up she does say hooking up she’s mad at anybody I’m hooking up my game and we hooking up with friends because they’re still hanging out doing all the friendly things into the night she’s like he did you want to come up and he’s like no I’m good basically saying is I like hanging out with you as a person but I don’t want to take it past this into a central and his friend of mine who was dating a coworker and they they hook up like whites but then hung out a lot after that and like it never went beyond that she didn’t understand why she’s like why why this happened and it was it was literally exactly what try say like he just wanted it to go back to the way it was before honesty honesty is the best policy that case no policy and I am I like I am NOT a vigilant person I will miss it if you have no idea but it’s true because at the end of the day like I’m not gonna notice the little microcosm that are going on in this relationship for me to go this is exactly what’s happening so he just asked just so someone like you would with someone and you say like like like let me know cuz like I want to be sure to like i say bye bye or not he just asked the reason the first thing that I really made me start liking the girlfriend and I have right now the first governor ever had and there’s a reason for that too like I was very very very picky as because she was buried straight up honest with me from day one like very very honest I was like oh he was a person I can I can probably do life with because they’re going to be honest and here’s the thing everybody there’s so many different codes and so many diff like so many different like you know standards of what people think are like socially acceptable and socially unacceptable but the reality is not all of them line up with each other and what does line up at the end the day is people who know that you tell the truth you tell the true if you just it’s say exactly what is on your mind is that China please little dumb game has never been threatened by a woman before you know it is not even a joke that was legit not a joke highly compatible right I don’t necessarily want to respect that I have a tattoo to myself and I’m like oh I like a gray area I like I know you’re liable like you know what you’re doing well that’s it you if you want a gray area in like your area then you can’t complain when something happens and you can expect it to happen less complain you can’t take it back to a mayor’s funeral ok no minutes ago jim Jamiroquai funeral he wants people to be there because they love him right and the people will be there people will love you if you are straight out with them even though and we hear people saying that you know we know I think I like I think I like it if people lie to me I think I like and I think I like it and some injuries even arise even said my name so many respects that right look man I just want to feel loved so you gotta let me know if it’s not even honesty honesty just do you do you attract other people that do that and you games respect games and an honest life and that’s fine I’ll be honest to the world and where do the shit on his work why not do that because that’s on them now as a man and I don’t think I’m to do like ok guys this is great though cuz where your podcast comes out what the day on Friday so this is coming out on Monday like we might put this conversation is going to happen here coming up before we go on to you one of you explain what your podcast is just so our listeners can have an idea about what to expect from your show our podcast once again as black men can’t jump in hollywood we review the films of leading black actors and then we break them down in the context of race and we talked about why there are so few leading people of color in movies and we’re talking about major pictures me know indie films so yeah we just talked about the film you talk about the Rays dugout the actor whatever read we’ve had great guest on the show Michael keys been on DVD Robin Robinson in Rothwell Tara castro downs so yeah that’s what we do and check it out sweet awesome James John Carly Carly Carly don’t let corrupt your mind this was just your city closes on two men on one side of the ultimately she said well I will I will just repeat no doubt it will last thank you know