Episode 21: The Weiner Game


In this episode we discuss blackmail, breaking the ice, and believing in yourself. The big three.

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and I

on the

versus by mmm-hmmm I

well old Dulce chill very chill

well as Mike Graham you Mike a and this
is if I were you the only advice podcast

on the internet hosted by us

on the mir and I’m sick and we are this
one’s gonna be a super fast too many

many sewed

I’ll come on so I after and I I told you
that I had to have dinner

a at for the Sega Sony right now home so

yet another 540 said hey i’ve diving
i’ve a reservation upper forties a few

I really and I’m running late so okay
let’s get together and six player I’m

hey guys

a fuck this month reliance on a skip it
alright also long scale bass let us do

like a general

celebrate that I like to take right now
get a break break break break break okay

just the generic was like a one one
other song time projects and this one is


a LC depicted the deadly that they
depicted debate

hey not now I’m sorry this isn’t gonna
be a short episode

gonna be a long as you know even say
every episode should be 30 minutes long

and we never even

we never do that would always goes
quote-unquote long so maybe we should

start calling them forty-minute up I
don’t like that one bit now because then

I start eggs and then we start a result
in an hour and I think we always there

were 32 knowledge as to what time is
running slave

yeah a.m. people always do we get a lot
of emails right why you can buy you

capita 30 who’s complaining

nobody’s complaining we just aren’t
funny enough to talk for now because

that I get tired as a not funny enough

to talk for five minutes to iraq fits it
is we’re that it’s a slightly athletic

in that regard like it just feels like
we’re just

yeah but if you really are drained after
yeah alive but what are we doing we’re

not we’re not

for not athletes yes we are in some

a few if anything podcast is like the
hardest sport yeah I would say I’m

I’m good at soccer now for some reason I
think I read jeeter

ok captain my captain Bell a gap in my

I have learned earns than you do because
I can speak for thirty-eight minutes in

a row would try to be funny the all-time

I does there is the all-time hit record
I I think the next year ago will be a

saying how’s that yeah

from we have a fair we have a latte a
how is that fair

we had a live podcast taping coming up
in November in Brooklyn

yes if you wanna see us talk about what
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I you guys to come out now and support

it’s at Littlefield in a Brooklyn on
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NYC dot com

and search for us on November six or
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%uh you can get ticket information there
we want as many people as possible


that way we make the most money right
and it’s also nice 7i support I’m saying

if we don’t

if we don’t pack the house would like
supportive fans

we will make as much money well here’s a
real reason that you can come here

if we have that show and a lot of people
come yeah then people

then the the two reagents that go to
that show yeah

0 we should send these guys out on an
actual tour and then we can come

to use it easy and make you more money
your soul a

flocking in smart all small okay

petty ass hole I’m pretty lol you know
already I i’ve

way a how much money do you have now um

iPad why the general lol I’m so sorry
you scolded me

PPP you made me feel smaller myself and
I don’t know you see a bad actually

it has nothing to do with money if you

usually you give you little 0 I

you can say that because your father’s

for your mother is not jewish ok think
have my father being jury you’d be more


should be calling and that likely
supports me so little over here this or

any other endeavor that I got bad

good jew I now a

I’m jus joking we obviously have enough
money as it is we don’t need money to my

I I but it would be fun to

money yeah and I’m never gonna be
genuine I didn’t want that cash

I want their green that nasty that gushy
stuff we actually make money from the

suits I

old guy I we’ll talk about it after a
it’s not worth even getting into right

now love some

um to explain how the show works what’s
the point right

oslo I read into it sir okay here we go

question number one now feels weird I
how this all works

is a people in sticky situations email

their problems and a beer and I do our
best to try and solve them

though oftentimes we fail just succeed
at making the person feel like a jerk

for ever reaching out to us

but that doesn’t mean you should not
reach out just because if you’re in a

very sad

difficult place in your life we want to
help you out so that email addresses

if I were you show at gmail dot com we

tens of fifties submissions today

we come through literally half love them
find the first five

an answer them in order wow that is how
lazy yeah

you put your money at Littlefield Leslie
I actually don’t go to the show us

venmo me 30 bucks I bellaire had to do
shit and I still get money future wife

on venmo

I over my future wife in the about us
section over Yellowpages DICOM

she was a marketing manager I

a alright so we gotta we got some five
really getting emails to get there were

gonna give them fake names but these
emails I feel sure you

RRG percent accurate this one comes from
someone will call

karol karol Carl rights

hey as I gotta be a problem at our
school there’s a game where you pull out

your Weiner and slammed onto a desk

almost every guy does it and it has
become something uva

tradition I was in the lead but then
some weirdo pervert snapped a pic to my

dick and now he blackmails me

I can talk to my parents were teachers
about it and all my friends 10 me

believing it’s funny

what should I do to stop it I really
don’t want anyone to see the picture

you’re my last hope love Carl all in all

I he is a

there is a game where you pull out your
Weiner and slam it on a desk

calling it as sort of a tradition it
really glorifies it to an extent that it

does not deserve

he’s the only one the blaze game I it so
far been the lead I

eighty-three to love and that no one
else even come close but I get

somebody’s snapped a pic is it was so

to see the little michael jordan that I
without that said dominating this game

the god damn good Chamberlain the P
Rosen the Michael Jordan all rolled into


you want an autograph and a fairness
selfie with it

snap to it snapped a gram put it online
and suddenly I feel I could be even an

asshole about it got on it so I parents

I was supposed to be a hero I I was
supposed to be the god damn leader

up his game nice nap until the meat is
israel’s cool I got to the

I the lesser-known be the be the big
raid penises look up to my cock

I what is stupid georg I calling
somebody else a pervert when you’re the

one with the actor Pete isn’t putting it
on and

fucking public desperate people take

you sick fuck he probably has an STD

yeah if you think about it you should
get tested sir i mean you haven’t boned

anything believe that lease grinded the
head of your dick again some pretty a

every compromising surfaces I was I to
know though if you use a bacteria in

their marriage

with you talking about who cares about
your YouTube where you work your flow to

do you

what’s going on is it was it just raises
are you going resisting

pic also real are you talking like that
is the most beautiful and I love her


but we’ll have a great dog like a dev a
deep voice person

this a Abbas is coming out on Monday
right yeah

Monday a September don’t tell me

16th so at this point when I’m listening
to this episode I will have possibly

gotten the results of my STD test back
I’ll be you know if they are now how

long does it take to get results
minister Nasser haven’t been tested in a

very long time

I I it should be there should be an app
that makes it instead I would feel like

we like with the new iPhones you know
you can get your little thumbprint

I feel like you should be able to to
touch the tip your dick against your

phone and i would tell you if you had an

like the now I’m sure I really would buy
that out I really would buy that at 14

hours because you have an STD X really
personal touches your dick is you

happy very funny I so

hey energetic guy and the judge said not
always the text where the hell are you

talking about let’s do it Taylor dyadic
slam the butt

but every joke I I N

so where were we we were we were trying
to help this guy well we have it we have

a child health and yet

the yeah but his friends trying to
blackmail me because I he took out a

hard in some

so her I think photo come out ahead is
this a

you running on higher de klerk’s I mean
the the thing is the guy that took

the picture viewer dick is sort of a
pervert and I think you could

actually go to your parents a go-to
teachers and be like where this go to

your presence behave this

this fucking weirdo took her to the
picture my peers and has a picture of my

penis on his phone well you know the
game that we play the old touch the deck

to the table game you know it’s a
tradition dad you into my school are you

started the game did you okay so I’m
just living in your footsteps your dick


the condom steps I I really be you’d

number one tell people tell enough
people that make this guy feel like a

weirdo for having a dick pic and it’s
going to be a

which you should feel pretty strange
about to

Kachin like you know not for your
friends with funny and just have a

genuine heart to heart with them Biki
really in my cunt with you having that


yeah 3 snatches phone in breaking

I which is probably what I would do that
see due out to the heart felt like

listen and I know it’s funny like I got
a dick pic to me but I really think

that’ll make me like compromise okay

now you’re entirely too me Jets it

step it I hats

I it I 30 on

atari alive you did nothing will regard
where I’d

00 or lead to your absolute best to get
a picture of your other friends dicks

I everybody’s on the same fuck invades
yeah hopefully everyone is still playing

this game

this perverted game the the whole dick
on the table

what a weird game to invent the ML two
devices just stop playing this game you

weirdo yeah maybe like take up to 10 or
some shit

yeah I’d like more blackjack or poker

something where you don’t take your dick
out were volunteer yeah

with a plague yes now playing games in a

I get help go to go through the kitchen
after I realize is the go to his soup

kitchen as a writer ever love your dick
down on a metal ok

middle but I can itself IQ

a do a vat is 605 quarter UVP ECU

failure delayed I’ll I

yes as straw all here’s a straddle

ok a for %ah it

so to what a dick is apparently you can
cut a decaf at the base and use it as a

stir a

oh my god as a theory that I really
ruined my day

that you’re eating PC of right now all
that fucking

seriously every hate that image still

well I actually depressed right now
Luigi uses the tape love your mail

alright guy disembodied baser the tether
ya lo these are gonna be necessary this

well and ice in the ice in the arether
goes all the way down real with the star

has the ability to throw my god

is this I imagine you’re just sucking on
and there’s like blood and brains and

everything like

is also like it’s like a lukewarm pea
soup it’s not even good

of these days user you know I hate P

up who police say he lick yeah

you know that in England I you

you cool easy you’re homophobic than if
that makes you queasy that I think I

don’t wanna be your friend anywhere cuz
is no I wasn’t

what’s called a $700,000 how well with
the burner and you said to be like oh

that would make me queasy to touch a

that’s not a dare you talk about a
charity shop didn’t have dead now now

now is dead then into that

the %uh the thought of you touching
other guys phallus makes you sick to

your stomach

I’ll grab your dick right now to show
you I don’t mind that

well doing it but imagine a beware

um sorry base for the to this guy

I three-pronged advice it I each prong
less useful than last

I think you can go to your teachers
either you could say hey this sick

bastard took a picture of my penis

I its this game that all those players
they respond or just threaten him with

that be like I’m gonna

I’m gonna tell on you hardly the vote
yet will be fortified if you’re like you

know what I actually just gonna tell a
teacher I i’m

as the Bears that I am to tell a teacher
I’ll be more embarrassed if

a picture my penis gets leads to the
whole school so I’m gonna tell a teacher

that you took a picture of my penis
that’s actually illegal what he did I

live better not what you did was I’ll
less illegal than what he did he get


so do you want to I would blackmail him
with that you got to come right back

take a picture him taking a picture of
your dick that that’s the one that’s the


most incriminating photo is that a
problem in schools right now so they’re

your schools that can really come down
on a pretty I

and are the third prong are the second
prong advice is to break a son in the


to volunteer dissipated yeah always the
third is that my body is always as

volunteers electricity isn’t

that’s at least you’re making a positive
difference this is literally the least

we can do

yeah I’ll never get off I can see it is
it will you give me thirty dollars a

week to tell people to go to a soup

all you baby will you pay me to fill up
a room with people that’ll make that

I’ll tell them to go I really really
don’t want to go to Suu Kyi myself but I

would like to help with long as you’ll
give me money

let’s put a donate button on this %uh
podcast words like if you don’t have to

if you don’t work at a soup kitchen you
can always just a

give me cash yet as a cool idea

and alright next question really email
fake name we’re gonna go with

circle earth gold Steve Urkel Steve
Urkel rights

I just started a new school with people
I don’t know except for one girl

she chatted me on Facebook a few weeks
ago before school started and she told

me that she was

also going the same school as me I had
never met her before she chatted me

we ended up facebook chat in for a long
time and the day school started she made

no contacted me

with me even though we had several
classes with her she keeps chatting me

on Facebook and text but won’t talk to
me in real life

what should i do should I make the first
move or or is it because

me or she is too awkward thanks guys

um yet silly both you guys are too
awkward you

haven’t talked to her yet used emailed
us to ask you to talk to from it

that’s the sort of the phenomenon is
like big a this generation which is that

people are texting and Facebook

I am ng when you’re on a computer you’re
very easy in like you know easygoing and

natural and outgoing but then when you
actually see the person you’ve been

chatting with

rise some great I’ve shared a lot of
myself with you

you have you don’t actually now we have
to have the first conversation up our

lives drive to shake your hand I just
sort of a

really poured my soul as an idea it’s so
weird cuz like

you’ll talk to somebody over the over
like to using technology really get to

know them

yell and then when you see them I mean
this happens to be when I go in tender

date Seattle this is why online dating
is so successful because when you’re

on tinder it’s so easy to be charming
and witty

lead when you’re at a bar it’s
impossible to just walk up to a stranger

and tell them that they look attractive
to you

when it’s but it’s also weird like when
you finally go on that date where you’ve

been talking to somebody for a week

you know you guys know them over the app
the move over to taxi I planning a date


jokes making small talk and then it’s
like go out to meet them

and then you doing it’s like do I say hi

cave Jake the party have we gotten
pacifist it’s so weird yet this

this sort of phenomenon happened even in
our slightly older generations like a.m.

yeah I remembered I don’t like really
liked long intimate conversations late

at night Chang’an

yeah way and AIM covers things get
really real and then the next day it’s

also like a time of day thing we’re like
late at night

you’re very open and I like how open in

easygoing you are at the end of a party
verses 9 a.m. the next morning at school

you like

you can’t really put yourself in that
mind why I try to finish your homework

before KS

I I don’t wanna just like you know the
covers they didn’t

is over we don’t know each other here I
don’t want to know who you have a crush


on now I will say I will say that you
should probably talk to her cuz

you know its it’s hard when neither
person wants to make the first move

but I think she’s waiting for you to do
it just like your waiting for her to do

it but I would say there’s like a love
there’s like a thick layer of

ice that’s hard to break through but
once you penetrating you get to the

frozen water underneath unlike you start
referencing those all conversations

then it’s like the floodgates are
outside of the ice is hard to break

through I think there’s just like unite
81 swing and it’s going to shatter

but there’s just like its just hello the
first the first three to five minutes

is a little weird because you don’t know
what the reference right but just work

through it

but then once you get to the point where
you guys are as comfortable as you are


that’s like the that the great zone
because you’re having

like cool into conversations beer also
in person about it within me to this kid


you know what not yet on ask for a
picture of him maybe he has some sort of

physical death

this for many we can make fun of vote
for an emotional like a a stigma about

him that we can exploit

because I as a right now we’re being a
little bit too did prolly Oracle

that’s right for you the nerdy is
praising you can be

I Oracle a a lot of our fans were

weren’t even born when urkel was
invented read that we just made that

name up

which we did %ah so if anyone’s
listening mean take invented family


there you have a question number three
let’s do it moving right along

speed business feed podcast her

what do you site just the probe is
believed by guest list

well my awareness peapod gas to get

we should be good spirits the say like
you worse speed via get wet your pants

on his exam what is it about this period
idea a half a break room

I is leading the chase speed brothers
are together again

could be like is that they’re great
because they were recording a regular

weekend I think people can just hear

hear the difference can tell we’re not
an Italian caveat I just feel it

the FBI Vernis tell approach they know
thanks again record that TV

I am I here we go there’s a pretty

either these are all very any questions
this is the third one

from someone will call Stefan Arkell

her I it’s a different person but sort
of similar to the first one just sort of

like an altar

an alter ego of sorts hey guys I’m in a
band here in london

were not great but we’re OK our drummer
hi lover

is really bad he’s never played the
drugs before the only practice he gets

is that band rehearsals

we recently found a new drummer whose
infinitely better than our first one

we don’t wanna kick the drummer number
one at the ban because he’s a really

good friend of ours and we don’t want to
hurt his feelings

but he can actually play anything or

I’m not entirely sure how he got into
the van in the first place but here we


any advice on how to deal with the
situation would be hash tag dope cheers

Stefan Arkell

then it is tough I do have that question
i do I also don’t know how we got into

the band to begin with

here doesn’t know how to play the drums
or know how to sing

and you invited him to join your band
and you guys are pretty good

are you guys are okay you guys are okay
but only because he’s bringing them down

so but imagine how amazing they would
have to be like how great a band they

would be

for a guy who’s never drawn before to be
there drama they’re still just okay

yeah easily bring down their GPA leave
the club lol every ninety you guys think

there was some gotten so many other aids
for this after only bring them down to a

GPA okay

so this guy was act this this email
comes to us from

John Lennon in 1963 allows a shit you
guys are the Beatles right now banned in


with a drummer that they wanna kick out
P best I think was his name

gone through some sort of times from
Time Warp

I’ll we look to pee pass cuz we’re like
other sounds familiar

and we found out why PBS was kicked out
of the band which is actually an

incredibly sad story

it is still a like there’s like beetles
biographers like streeter would be


explain yes but here we are reading a
week but here we are with hiv/aids in

paraphrasing it

I well what we found out is that it just
seems like upkeep as didn’t 5 with the

rest of the band

rare but its this subsection was like
clothes drugs in hairstyle so I thought


opps war weird clothes had a bad drug
problem and it didn’t like I had a weird


when in actuality it was the opposite
the rest to the band you’re weird


had drugs but I had drug problems and
weird haircuts and Pete Best didn’t want

to conform the weird haircut it was

they all they all played in like suits
they had like a stylish specifics that


band and he didn’t want to conform right
so they kicked him out I

that does sound like he’s just a cool
guy yeah I know I wear my hair the way I

want to do it how do you okay then and I
lie to you guys

your outfit I like you know the results
show yeah express now absolutely totally

agreed and I

you’re fired I think your down days and

I’m actually I just I’m a good driver I
a good

I picture yourself on a boat on a river
I getting the fuck away from herb and

give you our Ringo Starr to be in our

in our little hoopla now zo this year
reading that Wikipedia made me I just

really dislike the previous civic their
music is bad now holy shit that the

nonprofit popular opinion

suddenly I like Oasis more I ok

are rolling stones then that someday you
will I

me da the second house than I thought
and the

by the guys right it somehow getting

cell what’s worse this guy’s drumming or

my English accent and I did earlier

like three minutes ago I think and with
the cities like only available for Brett

band practice

he says he’s never played the drugs
before in only the prevailing practice

he gets is that band rehearsal

we don’t keep their drummer out because
he’s a really good friend of ours and we

don’t hurt his feelings

I mean I think you just be honest with
them and just be a hey you don’t know

how to play the drums we found something
that does yeah this is a family knows

that you know he doesn’t know how to
play the drums doing something else to

do make you like your videographer

or a bitter like manager manager yeah
find one of his other

strong suits and try to use that your
first your first roll

I’ll drummers to find your replacement
nose so it is not a complete moron when

it comes to drums

and then fire on us because we we’re
actually charger forming a band we hired


you know how to play the drums so
clearly you know how to do a better job

lol yeah I’m accounts

when he joined his soup kitchen okay the
Beatles already happened

likely be another popular British band

sorry guys that’s not how shit works is
not cyclical it’s like a one and done


well at the little circle go but there’s
already one direction for your good

every 35 years good you and your routes

talk to us in 2848 or whatever the fuck

um iight so it’s our actual advice for
this guy

ok be a man kick your friend that you
know it’s like a break up it’s hard at

first but he’ll hopefully understand

it’s like he’s 0 up a heat pride
themselves on drums I mean he doesn’t

know how to drum

write this happens to a lot of bands is
a lot like be

rotating band members that is you as
another first for septic somebody have a


yeah and odds are you won’t become
successful so this won’t even be an


successful what he won’t be like oh this
ban when often achieve greatness without

me I really hope one day you guys email
us and said you’re really successful at

the amazing

actually you should send as a theme song
more than anything else through with

your current drummer

and with your new drummer was will play
one in the beginning in one in the end

%uh be fun and then we can kick it
compare and contrast

say I tell you what let us kick your
drummer out where you

sent as two songs one with the with the
current driver over the new one and

we’ll all like to take a vote

alright here’s a boring question

why do you say compare and contrast when
you’re contrasting it. just comparing

I honestly only show you fell asleep I

I you really you hate my Twitter account

my stand-up career two-thirds all that
fuckin golden if he if you don’t like

that then

really really are done to me be here in
contrast I

yeah I we’ve always say compare contrast

well a tomato ok Eikenberry contrast
this to an Apple

one is the as a lil %uh you want to take
your little mid

mid Mitch a break I love to I love the
little break yeah we’re all is that the

30-minute mark

which once a is what we say is the end
the show but not really

%ah so we could take that little break
and come back for one last question

good anymore burning then story the 100
regale us with

the i mean the religious were any
there’s no one story

yeah because bring that in itself is a
tale alright it’s not like little

it’s not like little %uh a little Bolt
runs the you add up to create this mega

complex just

it all just is yeah it really is a
seven-day it

experience that’s a sort like net effect

I just positivity and I

I really believe I mean I was wandering
around the entire times back this is


this is crazy do you want to go back yes
I do wanna go back

did you cry I wept openly and the temple

which is the temple is a

I hello this break in a big deal about
the temple for a bug in WI

her death I that so there’s the man
which is the structure I love you know

that’s like the iconic the

the man that the bird is also this the
temple which is

um and how they do it every year but
this year they did have that like using

any nails it was just like

a giant pyramid it was I mean gorgeous

and on the inside people %uh right

that they’re trying to like let go up
they say goodbye to love dance so

they’re like

letters to somebody’s passed away mama
Mike me a a

I you into the wall the wailing wall in
Israel which is one of the most

emotionally powerful

real things in the world and you just
you start taking the letters out it’ll

all the prayers

you’re reading the one by one and cry I
didn’t understand it shiver sends all

your day is

that the is it that that’s like I’m I’m
not religious

I mean I don’t believe in God so like to
see the wall

mama turn it up turnabout for life I

my parents don’t know my religious
beliefs I I

so I mean it’s really cool to see people
%uh dealing with loss in a way that like


connected with me and a lot of sense in
my eyes he said more spiritual than


yet that definitely was there was not a
single man maybe there were but I did

see a

I love messages on there that’s like
I’ll see you in the next life

although a burning the statue at the end
of the festival sounds like someones

destroying a title which is very
biblical if you think about it

it’s true supposedly does it come at the
end a burning Man

and he threatens to stone tablets down
at all about died

I did so there’s that yet Moses broke
the Ten Commandments

there’s a really quick story that I want
you to tell is just the the guy who

hugged you

there was a man who hugged you yeah I
was like in the bathroom one night

II and there is it with some dude is in

is wearing like some glow in the dark
suit with a headlamp is like a

now I tonight can I hug you the it is
smiling I don’t know it while he was on

and I was

he was on Burning Man guided dead sober
and I was like

yet we if embraces raced

for I think a full minute lives longer
than you ever hugged anyone email yeah

eyes shut but can feel each others heart

hugh you put a pull the bag just

smiling ear to ear and then when you
looked around he was gone

I have now is Jesus yeah that was the
man that weaver

I you know I was in bone so

rose actually rolling on Mali

a moon rocks and mushrooms ummm
combination does that even cliff bars i

jus been eating game rocks all week a

moon rocks is the name of an actual drug
you you you a to rate

yellow moon rocks is yes alright right

back to his own drugs kids took a trip

you friends don’t let friends eat drugs

I the

mercy the dead at your day that is
perfect I question number for this one

comes from a lady will call her Laura

Laura Winslow my friend has lost her
virginity on a first date with the guy

she met

on on tinder in his car now my
girlfriend is jealous that we friends

has already had sex and we still haven’t

we both want to but we can’t ever find a
special secret place

where should we go for our first time so

where should we go to get private time
to have sex

what should my friend do with my her
tender boy

any advice about first times at all

Laura so we both want to but we can’t
find that special secret place I see you

she means her vagina

no this is so bad I

you did this is you guys do if you’re

dumb don’t you tender although now that
I’m thinking about it they just might

English just may not be their first
language okay so

what’s happened which is what I called
on people I

if they were smart enough to be born in
America you wouldn’t have this problem

as ever Burning Man 10 their friends use

yep met a guy yep lost her virginity on
the first day in a car

that’s right which Sox ally

that’s not what you want virginity it
should be a

it should be at least as only it even if
it’s a car at least make it with

somebody you care about our side tender

%uh I mean I feel awful that that’s this
is like some way connected to be

suggesting some way I

every way his way to keep using tender
to get fucked getting fucked feels good

to do it on he feels good

but you know what is there to 30 rugged
don’t I see it your virginity is


I was my virginity in a nice way did you

Mel the loss that in a terrible way yeah
we’re not talking about that are you

know I can go to go after all the hard
drive yet

I’m good with all you’ve got a lotta
shit on the bug as let’s leave my

virginity at

that all we have is that one hundred
when we finally run out as shit I

finally don’t get any more emails by the
way we really do appreciate the emails

19 I just to get his affair you show a
gmail dot com

and if you can imagine I think I
actually lost my virginity in the worse

way than this girl that in the car on a
first date with the tender guy

yeah I would say so but knowing that
story but I’d

I think I guess like Europe my advice to
you guys we’re question is

how do we find a private place to lose
your virginity

it sounds like you’re very young if you
don’t already have like a bedroom where

your parents are gonna come in or an
apartment or something

if you’re not self dependent enough to
not have parents around or your own

place then you shouldn’t be old enough
to have sex

come you dont know cuz I people do was
originally in high school

yeah I mean if you feel like you’re
ready I’m not gonna say

just if you feel like you’re ready

odds are you’re not here %ah and if you
can find a special secret place then a

odds are you’re not old enough

don’t have sex kids Jeff try prime or as

a you telling your virginity story are
you really not gonna tell now gonna have

been i would tell

regardless of how much I beg I don’t
think I would not do it

I can you at least make something up so
people at least think they their did

because otherwise I feel girly blue
balls in them item on blue balls mm

I bank give us give us one little thing
to say like we don’t feel like we’re

teasing something it’s never gonna

um one one anecdote one part of it

honestly now in not even where it was
how old you are

I don’t know your age the with social
security number the girl was my friend’s

basement that’s all said okay

that’s fine friend’s basement Kadam sad
not the saddest detail but

at least a given us something really
appreciate that are a good

I’ll tell you what the outcome I verden
story that sell yours

I lol do it really

know exactly what I and now I

users bored as shit yeah I can I feel
like I don’t even know yours but I could

imagine it’s like

opposed to my colleague girlfriend in
our in our freshman dorm room

I I you a

that is painstakingly accurate charm but

I Luke Ball that

could not even the Red Bull’s eye: the
green intervals I

holy shit I do you do that Snape that it

well as you do one more question even
though we’re at the 30 X Mark

yet let’s do it alright last question

this one comes from a what’s his face
while though faldo

will hold ok all the now although faldo

what’s up you to Pinas condo source
about a thing with this girl for a

little while now and it’s gone to the
point where I think the relationship was

going to be boosted up a notch

she had feelings for me for a while and
I was starting to get serious feelings

for her

but an X servers who seek who she still
has feelings for

texted her telling her that he had
feelings for her again

and now she’s taking time to decide
which guy she wants to be with

mere bitch boy over there my question is

how do I make sure that she picks me
over that bitch tit

I X well as are you sir you’re not the
biggest issue

believe it states use the word bitch you
did cause a penis cut his hours and then

you call that guy a bitch boy in a bit

and use or to sound like an asshole I

so what’s the answer Isles like you said
feeling so many times in that even yeah

he had feelings for her than she had
feelings for AXA ended up having

feelings for her and now she’s decided
she feels for more

and I kinda feel like he’s a bitch tits
to be honest

if a girl is choosing between me and
another guy there’s no way I would even

stick around to hear that decision is
that they see you a bit stale

faces like I have to decide you like

I really wanted to be me what can I do
yeah how desperate you have to be

because they like what she does choose
you and it’s like alright I’ve chosen


and like alright cool I really resent
the time he’s

could decide in a few are what we like
weighing out what was what was a cognate

I had a protein needed for example

also why did it take you so on I I think
that I you

now as soon as she’s like I have to
decide you like I can make it really


I’m not an option anymore choose me I

all another I think about it it’s not as
crazy as it sounds like

when you are starting to date someone
she in theory

is making that decision internally maybe
there is another guy she’s choosing you

over him but I think you’d like it
through to the

let that be known when you started to
date someone you both deciding like I

decide I like you I decide I like you
I’m let go of other things in my life

and you don’t like bring that stuff up
and get unlike publicly weigh it out

right make it turn into like this weird
contests right the fact that it’s like

and also this this is like her bring up
it the uverse him it’s not like a

you verses me and Mike being single in
my career school or something

it would do divers dude right way and it
was real upset I understand people not

like I don’t know if I can get into a
relationship right now I’m life

really busy with work I’m like I really
like having my freedom

I have that like those thoughts you know
right you choose non people over people

right but you don’t you don’t actively
choose humans over other human as soon

as you like

RN deciding between to humans you like
oh you’re actually you’re a monster

see is the bedstead I I don’t like his
bed still one bit bit

I think she’s a bitch boy live I I

so you’re saying if you’re here if
you’re him you’d be like now don’t you

have to choose between me and him

right not happening yeah you you make
the decision by removing yourself

okay but put yourself even more into his
shoes and matching there’s a girl that

you love so much that you really have a
crush on you

love first like a year two years three
years this is putting his position cuz

he does that he has feelings for her
okay CFP let’s let’s

the purse the girl you like I have
feelings for the most right now right

she’s deciding between you and another
guy and she’s like i’m relieved I really

kinda wanna be with you but I also kinda
like him would you stick around for that


emotions like really really complicate
things so it’s it’s very is that but

that’s why it’s so easy to have a device
cut pipe gasket like

if sure maybe if I were in this
situation I really like somebody I would

make an exception

and my best bet you know if you really
like so many make exceptions

but inside since I like remove from your
situation yeah

I will say that like you

she’s not the kinda person that you
wanna like if she’s gonna make you feel

like this

this is like in the world I love %uh how
it’s easy to get advice like a

yeah if your relationship and wannabes
going away to college just break up

right which is good advice but it when
you’re in it you never think logically

it’s incredibly hard and this guy is not
thinking logically which is why

I’m gonna give advice that you

just get out find another go that’s not
going to decide between

I two dudes and you know it publicly
I’ll give you the other opposite advice

just go for it by her gift spire flowers
jewelry get ur a fucking sick watch

be like do you really want to be with
the guy who can afford to give you a god

damn lock your penis connoisseur

can’t really are it’s nicer penis

I now I would say that I would say don’t
don’t put don’t become a contestant in


fucked up reality show that she’s
constructing yeah there’s people out

there that will not do this to you

yeah although this guy’s seems like i

more on right so maybe you should just
take what he can get

that NFL’s I even if its second place in
this bitch did festival

I that’s all is good enough then the a
silver ribbon

London up I’d rather finish second and
get that DQ for a

I getting disqualified for starting to
earlier some shit

so my advice is to stay in this contest
because I never know what’ll happen

terrible who’s the bitch did now you

fair enough I now we’re definitely at a
time right that’s sweet sweet ten-minute

pass the time that we never hit Mark RI

um thanks so much for listening everyone
we are we are still receiving theme

songs emissions that email again as if I
were you show at gmail dot com

we still have that live podcast coming
up on November 6 you can check it out at

our web-site if I were you show dot com

and %uh let’s play one more theme song
to play us out here

alright this one comes from LC

she’s back this is our first double
submission so you actually helen dewar

yeah thanks again girl let’s play a this

thanks so much for listening everyone
calling us

I yeah I think I just became depressed
than that once agian

of ok for yeah it’s rare that I was able
to pin only got that was chosen to


on desert out here boy I and II my I
guess I’m sad

I really am I’m sad that this is over
and a all my god I know I know that

every new beginning comes from another
beginning that the weather is honored

play that online right now if you have a


down there


no you see

me estado que huh


this is an SMS

if you’ve done

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