Episode 23: Scientific Study


In this episode we talk about imaginary girlfriends, real boyfriends, and the results of Jake’s STD test.

This episode is brought to you by Harrys.com – check out their awesome shaving kits, and use coupon code “ifiwereyou22” for a chance to win free blades for a year!

yell all dial that time I didn’t even
say the I knew you’d call me outside is

that your own normally

does not know loan is a you’ll no that’s
not yet yazoo

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episode guys thanks very stiff I would

I wouldn’t ask them questions about to
media or whom

i’m lou

to you

I’m just probably call love morning talk
to doctor

my word to you do this my

the college’s you like to do find you

I never is my home based on this
information from some guy with a hundred

flights had to

from she

who very nice pencil yeah

we appreciate the sentiment and other
back beer fan to cool it yeah

turn lovely song to her watch a hacer

Jakes Donna nerdy do and I and I do not
have a butterfly testy love you got your

information wrong and they’re
unfortunately for you a

your your jokes landed a little flat is

does they’ll leave had not
misinterpreted 35-minute to this I

we never ever break the bed I hey you
are going to if I were you the only

advice podcast on the internet hosted by
us on a mere

I’m Jake and a that I like that theme
song as a reference like specific a a

story lines that we’ve had in this

on this podcast namely the
misinformation you’ve given out about

yourself when am I ever gonna live value

schiff when am I gonna live that down I
guess at least give me like

three to five more episodes are bringing
it up alright but that’s really here

you actually did get the results are you
STD tests were gonna say that for the


ok my little teaser keep violet have
both I get out your pen and paper now in


try to jot some guesses as anything take
as much as the over/under per how many

as TV

that guy percent at seven and a half so
I make a decision now a no cheating no I

nearly pulling yourself and no cheating
lying that’s just what I do in a

relationship another lonely loner

heavily in cell to to allude

Jesus I’m says that’s how I would cry if
I could

I huge yeah I saw you human drying on
television once and that sort of how I

make it

when does something bad is happening me
I’m a robot

I a guide to short circuiting that’s
what it symbolises

I hmm alright so how does this work

basically people are in such tough
places and allies alike

guy I’m in this weird weird place and I
don’t know what to do

should I ask a loved one should I i
confide in someone that I don’t know

or should I email in a podcast and maybe
the large shoes my question at the

thousands and a

bill ridicule me and try to offer up
their advice and

I think we make fun of certain people in
up there on the straight narrow though

yeah I do think sometimes we shame
people into the right the right answer

also like we we give them tough love
every once in a while

yet so I could yeah it’s embarrassing
but like this is what you need to hear

right exactly sometimes I even anyway
these people you may listen with their

questions and we answer them on the show

and I’m that email if you want to email
us is if I were you show at gmail dot


and I will you show I’ll

I thought it would of home cool have a
catch I know it is I here’s my it does

hurt it’s completely unrelated I think I

yeah I was a guy like there’s anything I
that here we go known

dunno oh no no no no no it’s not I’m at
you should always stop that time um

we p I do feel bad sometimes we make fun
of people like

I’ll email %uh people they have easier
question on the shelf at things got a

little crazy about her hope you like it
no response

I you I am mortified by you

USO I mortified at myself I feel bad I
don’t know

but is it worth it a let me work it I’ll
put my thing down flip it

and reverse it you yes it’s your fifth
in effin when yet

it is your native land yet come on you
got a big fat dick well as our

saying well what to use the rest to the
song big fat dick let me search it

find out how hard I gotta work n cheese
has a big fat dick in my view big black


really and I think they believe it I

if you’re a but a big fat dick I would
need anyone to search it

well just as yes to find out how hard
she’s gotta work it well I see so if

you’re fifteen effin

fine yeah I gotcha i three resident fine

I Missy Elliott we’re committed to you

because we have a podcast on you came
out that song is really funny you now

huge she’s totally listening no yes he
was a busy actually were has tagged 0-10


had to be evasive in 2012 ok

his speech acceptance speech was sees
the cheese

I while it even as he grabbed the Moon
Man see how the above her head she said


I god that was an amazing dream you had

um say yes to be a actually get this
party started

why not I’ll tell you why not because
people like the intro they like it they

like to see a picture I around

god forbid we get to the questions
that’s just a it’s just a conceit

okay doesn’t mean anything it says it
alter it so you’re just a rupture

all right we don’t need care about the
bare bones the strike they want to

lecture dollar

go on as his collar they don’t wanna see
the aloni wanna see the paintings

everyone deter the Bobcats topics
including Iran bit

see rather wise the dish in silence de

did she still listen to this I think so

i Laura hey Obama up we should have run
the show

I would love that this will be a test
don’t tell her that we’re talking about


and if you want to be on the two if you
want to be on the show are you should

email us and we’ll get you on the shell
bell you’ll never hear this thing you’ll

never know

right and you don’t deserve to be on the
same I now that mom

that being said mostly guess we want on
the shell pry we have never heard the


that’s just not it’s not fair to hold
your mouse to hire squeeze your cuts

right we only we only want people on
this show who already know we love it

boot specifically this person right here
who you know this and let’s get started


this a this seamless transition this
email comes from

%uh a dude we’re gonna give them a fake
name to preserve his anonymity but I

assure you this

emails a hundred percent real so this
really email from this fake person

Adam reads hmm so recently I’ve been
trying to be a better person

I started reading books drinking red
pursuing excitement and a girlfriend

here lays my dilemma i met this absolute
gorge girl down the road

I told her that her face is awesome she
responded with smiles on the telephone


here’s the thing on our first date we
connected so much that we ended up

banging in the bathroom of the

sober as a bone then being at mine

shwasted on Merlot I really want to date
this girl but I feel like she sees me as

more of a fuck bud

a friend with benefits and a sex on tap
what should I do

love sama I

yeah I don’t know I have faith drinking
red wine a summer better person

you maybe he’s a sideways I think his
problem is

a his imaginary girlfriend righted

I could see the imaginary sex the ad in
the bathroom yet this guy probably went


masturbated in a Pizza Hut bathroom and
then he gave my legs

so well in the first eight safe box

bugs over in the restaurant over as a

either through a bone and then binging
on nine ish wasted on Merlot I really

big like

having sex in a bathroom is not a sober
decision anyone may

I nobody wants to do that no ones like
ridi me I need to have you right now

let’s %uh

both excuse ourselves from the
restaurant where the waiters going to be

coming to check on earth

I go to the bathroom in bank then we’ll
get shwasted on furlough

no one says shwasted and then says on

I you know it’s wasted on Merlot he gets
wasted on DH wasted on life

tequila shots I get drunk on really well

you classless fuck classless assless is
deaf and dumb

I so what now let’s say he is telling
the truth

which odds are he’s probably not right
his brothers that somebody sees it as a

fuck buddy

yeah is what I was about but he’s always
that it gets to really get the most

important is the way just keep doing

yet I want when surely they wanted eight
years stop boning yeah

the view having up sex with anybody you
start to feel connected with them

it doesn’t matter if it’s like I went
with the Guinness Book World Record is

for long as fuck buddy without any
emotional attachment

it held by Guinness himself said Sir
Alec Guinness

get is in Webster actually refuge in
class en rouge et as the third person is

homosexual love triangle

the maybe it is a two dudes because like
that I do think

the ass i think is really a fuck buddy
situation we’re like two dudes just want

to bone

and never got emotionally attached maybe
was an offensive

guesstimate saying that i’m gay guys

just a view everybody as fuck buddies
and they don’t settle down

or that females are incapable of having
being as emotionally detached as men

I guess some yet defensive I wonder if
is is it really true that they’ve done

studies where it’s like

this is like me saying as TV’s are
contagious I they’ve actually done

studies where it says %uh

girls are like clingy little shits and
dudes are actually chill

this is you after you got broken up with
the your shoelace that on merlots

ontario Tire though

yeah you know like there’s actual like
decided two big studies that says girls

are sluts as Lady Gaga there’s like why
I think it was in the fucking nude

New England Journal whatever the fuck
that said I swear to God said Meredith

was a slut

like I don’t know what their friggin
hypothesis was ur

the bug you use the scientific yeah I
see the users are going to allow

read she ended up sucking dog everything
all sides is then the room so they

concluded that issue is like some kinda
mean bits

every did I fucking I think I read the
abstract on microfiche at the library

never ended up getting the entire
friggin catalog inner downloading it but

I’ll tell you know on SL

I really think she was a bitch at the
end scientific conclusion was that 2:30

feeling girls are cray

I it was the freaking covers it was like
that was the cover story or fuckin stem

cells that shit like you have

break-in remember anymore yeah I don’t
know I don’t know the truth is

I feel like I’ve heard that a men are
better at separating sex and if they


there’s like some kind of evolutionary
your ex some

yeah there’s that some something that’s
released during a female orgasm that

makes them feel more connected

or something then I and men don’t have
it an interesting

its operand I could only opposite images

jizzes emotions that were giving two
women rages laugh

if all without me now I feel nothing you

and you feel it because you have the gym
is I give you the kurds I

sex is transferring the curse I get to
go Pumas are again stop stop stop stop

are are tender tender tender good now
that I’m later from the ball sack out I

could do whatever I want

and your weighted down by my liquid

I I believe

money is named for theming ever you %uh

the curse I shows him and I like my
booking cursed all over my bed

I had a wet dream I don’t like could the
curse in my sheets

you Jake it’s okay I just when you do

a in a sought just let me know before I
do the lines are no errors

apparently a I I’m curious that myself

help I would really help this guy hmm

up by calling a liar and saying that if
you want to know if I paid is keep and

being a fuck buddy and some easy to get
emotional about it yeah

those sounds like it might be you so if
the clearly this person’s line but if

someone’s in this relation it is Thai

where the guy once they get more serious
and the girl just wants to be fuck


I keep it going try to increase the rate
or the frequency evident by proxy by

default you as well somehow become
closer emotionally that is science

that science maths science bitch

Yahoo magnets a alright cool

good question good questions as a dancer

no nigga terms if how’d you score that

jump out your window what do it

you really want to hear from yeah Ivan
if I did it’d be like pissed

nope I babysat now you to regret it yeah
right maybe not today we’ll have a


he jumped out the window you into a coma
you look up nine months later he said

who came to visit a

I would not be on the look a little I
promise that your last day you would you

feel valued ally either the lilac
because tears rolling either-or

guilt you into host that is like I
wouldn’t want to do but I like this is

that they really like you feel bad
enough the you’d like

just squeeze in a visit would like gonna
Thursday afternoon or some shit you


IRA huh you so they are a member

remember when we before we start the
podcast you said maybe don’t say what

question number it is because we can

record a bunch of questions in picco she
this money is on the air

did you ever do that how we never did it
because we we ended up not wanting to

add it all right was that not at the
question yes else

if something turns out not funny it’s
still on the podcast yet sir I remember

because the decision that we should
actually ultimately go back to

I for example this question which comes

question number blank taro

3 or four comes from

I’ll let scholar Hannah hey guys

so I work at a hospital last week I took
care in a really hot patient

all the other nurses were saying how
attractive you wasn’t joking that we

would make a cute couple

it was inappropriate at the times I
don’t do anything about it but now that

he’s at a hospital

I’m trying to decide if I should reach
out to him on a scale of one to 10 how

creepy would it be if I were to friend
him on Facebook

thanks for your help love Hannah this is
so like

it’s so funny that the meek Mill’s we
get from guys versus girls

once we get from Kaiser like pair veces
grow three times a really want to

fucking do it again but are not alike
she like busted in isolation go for it

yeah this chick goes out my friend bill
I consort have been to rush I ask her

out like Mitt what are you talking about

and then there’s come from a girl the
most romantic thing happened to rightly

Xiao Xin took care about really hot

they had this emotional connection and
she still unsure as to whether or not I

would be too creepy to Facebook him
though so the %uh the movies or porn

it’s so awkward awesomely hot this is
like a dream

how you see in the english patient or
the porno version or %uh Christine

OC was in a kristina Rose in POV

iPad is the number eight maybe you

POV ray fines I

I yes shit dude just

just asked yes Israel as well as the
hospital são such a good

if I everyone to the hospital my one

like because whatever circumstances you
there under they obviously suck the air

like you have an attractive nurse and
then she asks you on a date when you’re


that’s awesome yeah if anything he
should have done it while he was pumped

out on that med

yeah that many three medicine that
medicine your is medicine

yeah yeah you need three cc’s if you
would rather

you need an IV drip into the those your
initial the you can create a

I wonder if you can stop that but wats I

the Iraq or having fun I wondered you
can never do the voice again

know what could I do to ensure that that
never has to happen you doing I think

you’re right channel me away from

are yeah dangling the carrot of courage
away from

me ever wanting me to do that again
great great great great

a I up is the IOC

at all his limbs amputated by I this
girl such a good person that she just

fell in love with his personality and
she did it would be creepy

is it ever creepy that friend someone on
facebook is in front of someone so

passive that like

how creepy can be like you just you can
grab that I is not creepy but it is

blatantly flirty especially in this
situation it’s always flirty that

someone on facebook

writing yams lazar’s there but i think
thats is like the creepy isn’t the right


that she used meth she should be like

should I be embarrassed to flirt with
him this hard should be best to play

with the desired

do you ever friend people on Facebook
are you are one of those people like

if they friend me like if you got along
if you met a lady and you got along with

her very well

would you friend early do you wait to
see if your friend India axe I never

find anybody

anybody now I will maybe and they have
friended last person I friended was a


finna nexrad you my man I

hmm I have a guy crushes I like add them
on Facebook

rackets like a chill mood but really
grow like girls are so

girl if the I do anything with

late try and apply become new friends
with guys like I’m and yet let’s chill

I like have your number is the I like
taxi I added it to Kevin Barnett made it


nexrad I like Arvada really hope I like
it to hang out these dudes again how do

I get your number band

I no idea if I wanted to hang out with
your account school i’ve ever I ever and

as I want to try to hang out the guy

I because you don’t know like with like
gotta be learning

yeah it is like it’s we had some weird
version of flirting

not gay like you hate the were you’re my

you look more dude not need a way

i hook up with you only if it might help
get 6

or if you wanted to and I thought like I
look up to use I’ll pretty much do

whatever you want

but I think it like a Facebook friend
the people is so passive but I always

let a girl do it because then it’s like
that like

what group that’s what they have you
know that’s like so

guys flirt with girls and if he succeeds
then they get the friendship that

basically says that may be a as I like
the process

I guess why I’m sure some guys like
girls as friends on Facebook

yeah I don’t know the real processes but
I do think that like

I must say with Facebook Flor but I like
the I like that one

initial om you need that you need the
confidence have someone gang if the

total cop it’s because you get that

friend request and then you initiate the
like the messaging you know right yeah

harassment my honestly this is why meh
god damn monster

occurred just describing Facebook
flirting to you right now

I just like my hand started tingling I
was like yeah I got excited I got happy

d like that more than sex in some ways
yes you do

in every way I

your you’d rather I get a friend request
from the

girl you have a crush on then sleep with
a girl that you sort of like

yet will ally like doing both I would

I rather get a text from a girl that I’m
really into then

Oct come inside her

I that’s a warm in that same girl though
the first

I get more for russia to the text the
highlight of your relationship with

someone as before you sleep with them

oh yeah oh yeah so if they knew

if they really new how to get you they
were just never

now they would text you but never but
you wouldn’t even

never necessary ever gonna give up on it
now I mean there now there’s no they

have no hope

I us I will is it right there like
figure out some way I like best to me

and Dad now it’s that

the thing is there is no mean right now
you can best

I yes I’m invisible believe me I’ve
tried do

I’m not only invincible I am invisible I
look in the mirror and see absolutely

nothing circumvent double

invisible and just small I n Resistol

I am i gone I am a ghost I’m no longer

emotionally absolutely abject vacancy
just zero love me is still year

so %uh totara Bob I

I love friend to give up on Facebook I
really think you should do it

are ever touched up you %uh yeah friend

I really hope you have already other so

is there a is there a time like if you
meet a girl for their

is there like the longer you wait the
longer she makes you ate the mark said

he’ll be here like

after like a certain amount of angle
stop giving a shit I’ll always be


at any point so whether it’s the next
morning or three weeks man

yeah is that probably more excited a
little later but I was there that you

like it you have breaker you’ve

you have written it off and then when it
comes to add a call right awesome

but like there’s also that that level
like anticipation that he went home is

like I wonder if I get a facebook friend
request many doesn’t like guess I was

right that’s gonna call to

right many there you go they have it

lets a switch gears to another guy
question finally

pretty great because it’s a as we as we
suspected the

complete opposite of what we just read I
this one comes from a guy will call ray

ray rights case I mean this girl have
had a thing going on for about a month

and a half now

but the problem is that she is dating my
best friend they’ve been dating for two

years and I just realized her entire
great together

I know she likes me and I like her a lot
so if you were me would you back often

not mess with this relationship or would
you go for her and suffer the


I know the obvious choice to be the
first one but I really like this girl


she’s a dime thanks I just love that
each other it doesn’t see it done as you

the god damn ten-cent p

I really had my mind made up a dollar
that last few that last met last season

for these are too many ex gf 10 fannies
my friend the Zagat

damn time is an FDR leading me on

I you if I’m really trying to dissect
this question a little bit

wanted them is what are the things he
said is he’s had a good thing going on

a with this girl for a month and a half
yeah which is a you know six weeks

Chur and then he said I just realized I
liked ur

yeah he did say he started fucking her

six weeks ago with a really caring that
your best friend

are may be just friends yet we did a
fucker I’m easily

has a thing I don’t know what is this
thing for her I would think for others

it with her

all at I have Anna so mean this girl
have had a thing going on for around my

hat that’s fucking

and she’s dating my best friend so hours
so they’re like I think I’m picking up a

thing going on

they’ve been dating for two years now
and I just realized her and I are great


so his best friend was dating a girl for
two years still dating her

and then hit also call it dating when
it’s two years a pattern a full-fledged

really slow oo that sounds so casual
other dating

know they go out with each other they’re
boy pretty good you not know your

best friends girlfriend from two years

and you he started hooking up with
random is that all you’re

you’re the girl that he’s no no I’m
sorry new so you’re saying he knew

yeah I’m saying this this jack off

I knew his as Brandon his best friend’s

they’ve been together for two years yeah
and then they started looking up

did it for six weeks and then he
realized oh I like ur I like their

relationship to end so I can deter right

that’s what I’m saying this is one of
those things where if you guys end up


then it’s like the most romantic funny
story like how did your parents be

I’ll have my mom was dating my dad’s
best friend and he broke a mob how well

I guest room at romance whens

but I if you don’t then you’re just an
asshole who broke up his best friend and

his girlfriend relation for you say
forty years in the future when you got

late kids and they’re having kids and
it’s like sort of cute that you guys had

some kind of illicit affair but it’s not
that cute

I could definitely not here right now so

a no you don’t does not sound like you
like her that much

well she’s a dime si the job got a dime

I like Sir enough to compare to the the
thinnest coin

I really pity sake and I

it the only say it cuz I’ve been you

yeah I suck is what you mean yeah we
suck me and you

this is coming off a nurse who helped
the hot guys like should I friend him on

Facebook I really feel like creepy or

oh yeah they’re totally I get that
actually feel creepy myself my best

friend and his girlfriend I’ve been like

trying to break up their relationship
for a month and a half she’s a 10 cent

piece just that they’re on that they’re
not understand she’s I

she’s a dime speeches a buck and a
quarter if not a penny

a so I would say leave them alone or go
for seas of cheese are you do you he’s

our team

these Rd messed this up

there’s nothing you can do not like you
I guess

Jesus chasis cheese issue you’ve ruined

I get securely your cursing you’ve
ruined everything

you’ve cursed their entire relationship
I would say

the show do you but not giving

the maybe you got disease that she is

yeah uses death-row to have since our

only talking to people who have been
listening to that antigen a here’s the


a regardless of what you say what we say

when you really like someone will do
whatever right it doesn’t matter what we

say you’re already do your

breaking every religious I’ve never met
someone who had such a crush on someone

and that such a crush on him that but
they were like this is a bad situation

let’s stop like

love and feelings and emotion will
always cause you to do bad eggs through

nobody’s mature enough to to put the
kibosh on something cuz it’s a

bad idea in the future EE not gonna do
but let’s at least

see if you’ve got the courage to tell
your friend what’s going on I could so

go for it but at least B opener

let the girl decide you know maybe three
to sleep take a mutual decision but I

think you have to keep in mind that your

has a right to know

the ant the end that’s our that’s it
that’s our last

a question that I left episode thank you
so much to

everyone who’s listened to this entire
show a haircut is aa

if that is really a series you sponsor a
lot on my eyes and honor

it’s a it’s a a at the

did not really is the stuff to have used

promote and sponsor not only this last
episode but a lasting all ever say good

night after night

well my god he did he did and yeah I do
you have the county but he did it

alright folks a this is just a cover
letter and %uh oh I R

no I got a call 911 I got back I gotta
clean this up

I wasn’t bad this is that for you

a few they’re not gonna believe you man
you know gotta let everyone know live a

creditable let this go here

good Nov school have is 10 the same but
they know all

of all I think you have resolved think

ok got a rather what sort of a politic
are you have a love for the prodrug on


so who’s in there who’s in the whole
dollar deal all day lol

mister the designs are

nineteen-thirties a radio program who
don’t know

ok but other than that bother you

is good I V bravia I

for you gotta believe me

it’s the case that the said Revis got
this was a really love a girl

I I would say Blumenfeld to choose from
lower Manhattan

I to do good I say we can both

um lets that for beer

what’s a lets the let’s take an

finally not only that weird little a

happy day I the from the show itself
read a you know

the half an hour mark clearly need a
break cry

we have to be funny nope we just have to
be us just looking

turn your brain off incidence you got
your STD results back yes it is but it

appears that

his massaging the right I

what what did she say what happened when
will press ahead at work you call

yes I wanted I don’t think I’d talk
about the process going in with what

insanely easy um it was like a vending
machine right where you stick your dick

into the flight he hot

is to go one arm into in the intuit
little slut my dick into another

I I had a mountain Dew came out idea was
it like

STD test and wires that the I googled up
free STD testing new york

that’s what I did I had and I went with
the place had like that I i has reviews

went I i waited literally like three

filled out the paperwork were right in I
got a shot they drew some blood

they I pissed into a little container
and then I went away

who is incredibly the everybody should
do I can believe I waited this long

and than three days later a call back I

my name and ask for my results %ah and
they gave them to me

shoe history I said that you gotta do is
tell me likey is a trust me I’m a good

man on big boy I can handle the run
china tell you what they are right

you’re yelling

yeah and I can handle whatever you got I
am just are highly detailed alright okay

if you be positive for civil is positive
record video positive for herpes

positive no

no go i right to know actually it was

I for everything totally I’m somehow by
samack it late summer rakul is

miraculously her thats still good luck

I a done any STD’s sela you could say

you told me sell your right now a lot
and you been doing everything the right

way I knew I was cleaved I

friggin knew it %uh know it’s kinda
surprised because like when you’re

when you’re waiting you just build up in
your head like note I definitely have

everything right I was sure that I had

but at that the first when they tell you
like negative for HIV negative for

gonorrhea negative for syphilis negative
for herpes negative for chlamydia

I think that was all them you do have
high cholesterol though

how do you know him I the weird thing is
that weird thing was that it or not

we’re day is this is

completely normal for me but the girl at
the st. de klerk was like super Q

oh and I wanted to like and a flirt a
little bit lower than

que hacer Billy other forum and I bet I
like had a nice to look at but I was

there when I left

and by the I knew I you like you can ask
them out

lie not until after the results are you
would you like I’ll yeah lets customers

I totally add the new college they come

actually about that date you don’t want
to see you

since I’m so negative negative I don’t
know what do you tell me how positive

you are the you go out with me you’re
actually you do have civil okay I I seem

to have cut you off a little bit too
early in the day as long as I guess as I

they had something that was curable I
could have been like a a tell you what

movie goers on penicillin for

you I’m curable and you are sick Europe
and so please let me take give you baby

you know after working that STD clinic
daddy got your eye

monday i’m dumb tell you away from your
a complete turn you into a real honest


you I need to handle know my no man’s
p.m. over weird southern the day we

started doing and I know how that

how I’ll I just hope it’s not racist

yeah I think it’s not it’s not unless
you thought it was then and that it’s

your races for there’s so many movies
with like races people with southern

accent they like any southern accent
just sounds vaguely racist

let’s not our fault no the South small

yeltsin up on the wrong side a civil war
said yeah

not even you guys like you shouldn’t
invade even grown up in a place that fun

on the wrong side as the war

it’s not just your average about the
wherewithal to move that

at the very least maybe they did from
New York to george et Sandpoint north of

the mason-dixon

alright so we get to one last question
let’s try

this one comes from another lady do da

three lady is it do not

I I know this is the second eighty yeah

alright will call her Marni money Marni

come on take the money and run good
morning Vietnam

I give my learning good mining get my

I what is that how its appeal Sun I miss

alright ready my boyfriend and I just
broke up and I’ve been pretty miserable

and said he cheated on me and broke my

meanwhile my best friends classroom it
has just fallen in love with a rich good

looking all around great guy

I know I should be happy for her but I
can’t help but

just wanna punch her in the face
whenever she tells me how great

everything is going

how do I tell her I don’t want to hear
about it until my heart has been mended

thanks Marni

mmm your best friend has to understand
the world’s about you right

have to like kill themselves revolves
around you how learning on our speakers

yeah that so you got her that I i three

they are you think yes it is the arrival
time Tyler I’m gonna tell a lie cuz

yeah the world’s smallest violin and I’m
erbakan love you got them skull

ok I I hmm

a Izzard about this girl could be
rubbing it in for you do I feel bad for

her yet or not kinda tupac Shakur’s

you know you see you got your heart
broken that sucks you don’t hear about

somebody else’s great life

maybe she’s talking about it too much
just sometimes when things are really

great you do want to talk about it a lot

yeah food this stuff yourself

by with of on a pass sound give a shit
enough to about this question you could

justify with an answer on the

willpower or displeasure of I just say
yes our dollar live call rather

old raps I I think that you could
probably tell their

hi you health you could be like hey I
wanna punch you in the face just like

shut up don’t tell me anything you can

yeah shit munchers budget yes these
stellar just ask you to be sensitive

today I know my super happy for you
don’t like it can help feel sorry for

myself every time I hear this stuff can
you please just like

you know dial it down here tonight and I
need you out of 5

right I think there’s a balance that you
guys can find cuz you also she’s your

friend you have to be happy

her yeah and or or or you can say I
Haley someone in my life is happy and

that’s considered a good thing for me

like yeah I feel terrible about myself
that doesn’t mean I’m def make myself

feel bad when I hear about other
people’s love

just because I’m poor doesn’t mean I get
a jealous angry and rage when someone

else wins the lottery now you you’re
really madly I live my friends find

success like

extra monies are doing something I
really pit I feel nothing but greed in


you ask for a cut yeah I’ve seen you a
head up

every single one of our friends you I
came into any money

I say what’s your salary can you imagine
if it was 99 percent to that

would you really be that pissed if you
gave me one percenter that you would

never miss a lot

like a penny from a big jar change I
greatly as a drop in the bucket

if ever I gave me one percent other cell
I wouldn’t have to work a god damn day

in my life

yeah and I nobody’s given the money so
for a couple people about the new up

about it right

but if yeah actually everyone had

that’s why I’m so poor the LBB up and
take my money you’ve got

the highest the high is the beat-up
radovan anybody have everything you do

was the beat-up great how do you
quantify that I don’t know about if you

are approached over

Dodgers yes just like so

I guess eight out of 10 if your
conversations and with somebody at least

a costing years though the ratios people
you approach that beat you up

over how many people you approach total
oh I gotta go to be all right now

I just want to know over now i cant man
talking about raising as I division

rather gonna make its science yes

its you so I’m gonna get I’m gonna take
it one step

I in a different direction and say you
you should evaluate what it says about

yourself that a

hearing about someone that you your best

gaining happiness makes you sad I don’t
think that’s fair

that is very I actually you think that
that to make you as happy as you try

trying to find to love in the future I
like you find true love

so it has someone else does that should
be the same thing for you if there’s a

like crazy to the same you know like

I just got my heart broken and my best
friend just found love it’s like that a

gut punch

if it’s like I just got my heart broken
and my best friend just

won the lottery that’s totally different
it’s like oh I can be happy for you you

got like

early got some kind of promotion at work
that something that you can like always

distract your broken heart from

so if I i if you lost your job today and
you’re depressed

and I got cast on a TV show would that
make you extra depressed yes of course

or would you be happy for me I would be
the party that would be happy for you

but it’s like

if I got I guess that’s like even

if I got cast on a TV show what the fuck
in my fire

I if I got fired and you got a big

out be like pretty sad that would that’s
not a that would hurt my feelings

I be upset there’s no it would be very
hard for me to be totally happy for you

to be disconnected from those you could
do that

I not only could i but i would i would
feel nothing

I would it wouldn’t even make me sad to
be fired knowing that you got a perm I

would step down today

if they would disagree tell it to you
yeah I would I don’t know if I would

to I don’t know if I would agree that
the stepping a bad thing

I quit the meerkat American have all my

that’s what I would do. a so yeah try to

at if you wanna like let her know do it

you know Chad let her know that you’re
sensitive about this kinda stuff

or you can try to find happiness in it

that’s what i say i say outlet that led
her happiness be your happiness

and don’t be a make you make it so it
makes you less upset

right and I would say that the

of course your gonna be upset I would
never tell you how to feel

I would never tell you to be happy I
revalued a full I think that’s

irresponsible have someone to do I think
it’s irresponsible for somebody to say

try to be happy age know what feel your
broken heart that I am I’m that’s

beautiful i right but you know what

if your friend making you feel like
garbage you just have to tell ur

I’ve honest perfect beautiful way at
that she’s just

she’s and she’s gotta show gotta die
like that I could just get in there I

would never say there’s an honest
perfect beautiful way I also never say I

you got to be happy don’t sound like

right I would say what you’re doing is
your advice is bad in mine is good

haha so I would follow my advice over
you as I can just jump in here

I think your advice is a its it
unattainable yeah

oh you’re trying to you’re trying to
have somebody not to feel emotions that

they’re gonna

feel naturally right so i’m saying
here’s a way you can deal with these

oceans and you’re saying don’t feel the
announcement didn’t know what I see how

this is like a sort of

sort of like an impossible thing to
achieve I think for you it is impossible

because you’re not even willing to work
on it

you’re saying okay don’t change don’t
try to become a better person and I’m


maybe deep down inside there is somebody
who can attain as possible hi I had to

cut you are a manager and I feel like he
did I get here

urea grady like other you get a
combative i’ve you know you’re very good

bad and I don’t think I don’t boil that
I am Who I am police force you know I

literally back I i appreciate that I
really are

it’s not it’s not a problem I yeppers

dabbing it soon if I your do

pressing down on life but so are both
are breaking and I

get that I really do you a look I
appreciate that you’re not gonna tell


to be any different than how you are I
but %ah

you but not being different than how you
are sorted leads people to never grow

emotionally if that makes sense

over to ask you to do that either you’re
a bad person get over you know any

better and that’s okay

I feel like I’m blaming your ignorance
not your lack of smart still and I even

and I don’t know if I’m using to give
words because your vocabulary still

limited have a deep

like they keep talking in his cadence
you’ll eventually understand you

for I so patronizing is

patronizing patronizing

how dare you I how dare you to you

I I I irate

um I’m tired as shit the Avett

let’s call it a day let’s go to bed yet
ignite ever on a 250 in the afternoon

um yeah thanks for listening

on a note to say the first theme song do
is mention was by a band called dude on


an hour okay the first names on this
from a band called dude on dude

did i do now we’re accepting theme some
submissions everything you do better

than that our leased as good as that
please email us and if you’re in a

sticky situation a difficult place in
your life

please email us if you have advice up
for us or or or a or a a compliment or

%uh feedback constructive criticism

we don’t need to hear the concert
criticism obviously have attained

greatness but the how to conserve feel

we go to listen and that email addresses
if I really show at gmail dot com

thank you guys very much um that first
one first things I was on a call dude on

dude in this next one was from a dude

named Dera connelly Derek Connolly

and dare I say dare I say it is quite a
good theme song so mission ob do declare

how you stockman

from sorry I thought we were I thought
were reffing about like a

Southern Tier I say yeah just play the
song of hope for us Thanks listener rule

on smoking %uh

let fury and sticky situation the sound

you be may recommend

days yeah the man yes found use showhome

Nancy man not mom

yeah from chic and I’m me

things alarms

come something week the you


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