Episode 24: Braces


In this episode we discuss whether or not it’s okay to hide your flaws, steal money, or hit a woman.

This BONUS Thursday episode is made possible by HuluPlus – thousands of TV Shows (Daily Show, Modern Family, New Girl…) and every Criterion Collection movie readily available whenever you want! Check out HuluPlus.com/Amir for a free trial. Every click helps!

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we %ah shut up %uh gangs exchange


a view

in here






just said

wow I like that one at CV it was okay

I learned a lot and see if I really the
only and he knows the work that suit you

the eye-fi spike ass on the Internet
this is i NPR

I sounded like mgmt yeah yeah

conciliate the take on the lights in the

and he had to stop seeing on this
podcast on live iron ok that began to

get legally wrong at hi

where you at no I’m not allowed yet that
will ego at the door

change the word I also that’s another
theme somewhere as she called is dirty


its how that’s like you heard it yet so
weird thing that it’s OK

I good we never said that to each other
so it sort isn’t it is that an inside

joke or is it

people who feel they gather at a yeah
they were so for they do they seem so

close those they can migrate as a seven
day a little dirty Jew

yeah use me a sees me Lucy Cooper I
don’t know

era I love my religion I don’t think
that’s allowed I remember the

yet nobody night sorry lucy you actually
can’t call as the dirty GOP

you dumb Olivia especially because I’m
only half jewish

okay not allow I I’ll its offensive

I was saying like that you’re injured
you and I’m

I have question I’m have normal now %ah

fifth I never yeah there are no Jews
named Lucy I know for a fact that

Lucy Cooper who wrote that the inside as
I jewish I never lied to a botnet so

I’ve been to probably a hundred but
mitzvahs not once for someone named Lucy

that’s right others you like the name
Lucy yeah this is nice

lucy in the sky well as my

yeah Wow really you’re good at that

you mean it yeah cool I really mean I
really nervous Castiglia I was nervous I

read it yeah it really

yeah I’ve years it was not your last
night fears have come true

yeah year earlier as a on that shit yeah

yeah i UI you insulted me then I lied to
me than you I really where is it now

said you he said you said you said wow I
really mean it like

you’re like oh pleased that leaves you
like oh well as I go there I think that

you’re really good at that yeah I think
gotta do you like

I’m saying it sarcastically in its
origins like it was more than a gut


it was a got their wake-up call you I

who anyway this is if I were you

the only advice podcast on the Internet
%uh that’s also hosted by these two Jews

on mir

dirty Jews and I J year dirtier than me

Delhi right now lol with yeah me

you don’t value showers as much as idea
I like you

yeah it fine I’m sorry I don’t even know
I defending myself you’re a very clean

person organizationally

yeah so I T Y can you go three days
without showering be okay with that

I could go I I may go a week without
showering Boko

and I’m sorry the other way I’m sort of
messy but I need to shower at least once

a day

yeah I also like I mean I don’t wash my
hands all eat off the floor

yeah germs no bother me it’s more like

its its by organizing what is their
organize the germs my organization comes

from like having us or the bad memories
so I like to like it know exactly where

stuff is all the time

oh and I have such a good memory that I
can keep my place and my brain scattered

got a true that but as long as I’m clean
yeah I’m eyesore I

know were everything is in my pockets
right now I could tell you that

order the cards in my wallet really I
believe I could

the order of the cards minute wedding in
the order

like the business cards yeah I could I
could here’s my while

with the idea ok okay said the first one
facing me is

um my ID correct second one facing be
right behind that

AAA card correct third one gym

yeah it is to speak with you fourth one
other the fourth one well there’s

another layer now oh the necks the idea
of course

I can’t hear that player eileen is my
eyes the access card correct for fervour

all about my credit card yes that is
love I’m a Democrat

that is correct yeah now that I

do the others that I think other I
rather than others that I flipping

wallet over

with that MetroCard correct if

I like a down down down to get through

um I believe behind my MetroCard

would be my dot my health insurance yes
at now

and then I don’t told them I dental
insurance no

oh no the card sure that your car
insurance that saw

then it’s don’t have my dental card
night at

she I lost it then see that’s all I know
okay so what’s after your character and

then it’s a cigar bar

yet stuff ethics and I’m on work hard

melded I know said Tedford said

no I miss the dental now it’s okay I was
in here I

I anyway that’s our show thanks so much
everybody I

join us next average a guess is the
bills that is a while

I because he’s really really present I
actually memorize my credit card

expiration day I and II good on the
bacterial enzyme 85 a 515 3.38 586

you think if you gave away your credit
card number right now

net your number and your expiration date
a lot of people would

start charging shit to it probably Ellie
just to see if it’s really think

that you know what this is sorry axis

it was bothering me the new health

discovers my dental and medical medical

so you have to be to cart see at about
that backed up

I and now you gonna spend the next three
minutes reorganizing your life because

as I was taking the cards out as putting
them on the table

which really kills you because I know
exactly what you have to go

but you know what those cards are really
dirty you’re gonna eat a sandwich later

that washing your hands

that’s why I through as I was it as long
as it makes you actually sick physically

ill that’s fine as long as they’re the

order will like it’s no sir like a
teacher you know like teachers are

really really mean systems because
around sick is all the time yeah I just

don’t care about germs but I I very
rarely get sick because I just deals

around you have to Dave Rosenberg all
the time option

yeah Jeff Jeff Rosenberg is a giant
journey keith is the disease UHV

35 kindergarteners I Jeff I believe has
chicken pox rate

II which is insane kids but take a pause
and small fuck I

is detested 2-for-2 on the pox exam at

I did we say with the name of the show
if I I think so

yes we did they fire you had the longest
intro ever

I anyway the way this podcast works is
that we accept emails

from people who are in dire straits and
they need our advice they don’t

necessarily need our guys they just need
any advice

and we do our best to offer them what we
would do in their situation and

hopefully it helps them out

yeah I that email if you want to email
us and as if I were you show at gmail

dot com that email is just open to you

in KC open to the public first ever
publicly nah

edit any and then we can use it white
people other

miscellaneous I know we’re christians
velvet Christians and et cetera could

use it

and I you can even submit your theme
song Lucy Cooper did that

she call this you are hers was
borderline not only wants a borderline

was anti-semitic yeah I all ready for
the Hitler Youth recycle so we still

played it so you can imagine how open we
are simply send those over till

and a alright but some let’s get to it

let’s get right to it I as always these
are really emails from real people

really given fake names to preserve

anonymity antonia MITI anonymity

around unity here we go one-time hi

now this one’s from I’ll abroad J %um

hey guys just started using tender after
I heard you guys talk about it but I

need help with my profile

I’m 21 and I have braces should I let
the braces show or hide them

I don’t know it I don’t want to fool
people the first thing I do

but I still want those swipes help me JK
near hi

so this is a tender owes me money can we
all agree I

it a really bad I really feel like
you’re either I’ll be

cash or snatch I

this is Eagle snatches cash is equal

I hate that word for vagina this year
says let gash

mad ghastly every business that normally
I mean makes fun of people who don’t do


but I like ashes Eagle gashes go really
but growth but

even titties you miss out even further
it’s like if you have a

physical thing about everyone has a
physical thing that they don’t like

the question is how much can you hide in
a picture is worth fighting because

they’re gonna find out about it

I think you just gotta own it bro I V I
wouldn’t do it like main picture

also what do your braces off maybe don’t
join tender to the color

ho ho teri I was getting I was a late
brace is user actually did your braces

in college I

I had braces 11 10th 11th and 12th grade
I was gonna happen throughout college

and I

have to sign a waiver I like I don’t
want racism colleges like

you’re still have three to four months
however having a perfect by I like

that’s fine taken off my dog races are
you saw it i mean i remember i wear

braces for

eighth and ninth and 10th grade

and when they got mcveigh my braces got
taken off

um my dog 8 may retain all and then

I just have crooked teeth I it’s crazy

my dad spent so much money now UT they
good there any their five yr the head

out perfect this is what they looked
like before race I know this is a little

more crooked

but Jesus it with the braces are like
bracing like a medieval thing like we

should still have braces

yeah this reversal like surgically
repaired reorganize my teeth and editing

the hazard a guess we were sent you get

now appears I want I want you to like
mold I want you to physically move my

teeth into a street fashion and then

free for like two weeks they’re sore
than their set in their torture it’s


it is you ever use grazer give us space
on the top all you have with the

retainer with a typically yeah

got that was dangerously dirty satellite
guy I had that like

I don’t I also don’t know how long I had
it now cuz I time moves so slowly

I think my dealer for ever I might have
had it for six months it might have been

two weeks

I’ve no idea I just know it was
miserable and then a standard yet

expander I i right a chocolate muffin
the day I got it will call him off there

is still chocolate muffin all got six
months or maybe three weeks a

just what about space the you called its
base about my free space that little

rubber bands they put in between right
heel it was a Joss pacer then

regular spaces that I was called an
expanded out of their level 80

you put it it’s a it’s like a it’s like
a car roof I am route that like it’s

like a metal

hand-delivered visiting with her like
what r I

sorry I don’t understand I don’t get wet
orthodontist re is a general

I remember when my mom got braces when I
was in high school love she Lake

I she needed them mama hey mama I

slides ever get back to you about big
bigger show no we didn’t have just come

out on Monday

yes she was in the issues in Tennessee I
think he has a listen to it

okay but what the fuck mom um

she I remember like he picked me up from
school to get the braces

and I was so unsupportive like that
wasn’t enough not the

as a four-year allies a loser and ice
are like all know there’s so bad

I like feel guilty about that to this
day I

but yeah or the goddess trees likes it

medieval torture state like you crank
your teeth slow

once a month you crank them into a
tighter more different position in the

lake for the next day you this is hitler

yeah thick all I have a toothache other
all my teeth right military fraser et to

have i cant cuz Lions

it’s filled with metal also like a UF
anything ever happened to your lips they

were just believe

ok because you’re either just 0 they
pressed against other sharp metal in my


who I over a lot of other letters like
based on his life

gushing blood any size had stabs for a
fucking week

a lot of our fans are like listening to
this with braces and I love this thing

that’s feel better just

are maybe just make them feel a ton
worse I yeah it does it

it’s all those things that really does
get better is just gonna suck every

single day till they’re gone and that’s
when it gets when it comes off

if you’re going to rate your six months
a net it I

though I’ve done this shift back though
they did it. are perfect anymore

no they’re not perfect but like how they
were really bad

they were like really crockett fined for
the after affects factually


yeah I’ll let you thought you were
really I ever

victory but except for the fact that
when I smile the gap in between my two

front teeth done allied with the gap in
between my two bottom teeth others that

it’s very much like

mercury I yeah author lookup

overhead that’s a weird like I have you
are not move your job at all

that’s just my yeah I have like an
overbite where if I eat a sandwich

and like piece of lettuce is in between
my two like my front teeth in my bottom


build a slide right out because I can’t
I don’t have a full closure

interesting we know what I

I’m still it a well-rounded nice gather

as though is that any nothing wrong with
these I mean UT there okay I

then you generally sucks the guy I think
they’re connected I’m just saying

don’t call yourself well-rounded I that
a yeah

2010 hey you’re Lori my mic your

I you’re doing what you do is my level
get off me a year

hurting made either way which is this
guy i do. put his braces on his profile

picture and I i which is very own I
would it do you

no braces on your main picture and then

three pictures then shown the troof it’s
tough to you wanna show the truth now do

you want to delay the truth later I
would I would almost wanna

show the truth now because right they
don’t wanna see someone slightly to the


AK a disregard you in person right

you want them to do it in the privacy
there are home if they’re cool with

braces maybe they have resisted I think
it’s likely the right when you shop two


you could be extra excited that’s very
true it’s kinda like when you used in


should I swipe to the right always cuz I
when I get a matchup is acceptable get

more matches I

or should I be super selective gray
really get a match but when I do a

musical I with dope

yeah I would I weighed down I’m you
wanna be meeting up with people that are

gonna be cool with the braces

you want that to be a thing the F to
talk about so just

for the braces non the profile picture

but having their cousin Ali who you are
your profile picture that embraces

they’re not permit

but a any at like a lot of people sort
of hide who’d like a lot of

a lot of a like I don’t use to enter

put I’ve seen you do it and a lot of
times it’s like two girls not on the

front page

what are those with those girls chinaedu
I didn’t want me I think they’re

they’re like insecure yes but I usually
you have to just go through the pictures

and then you find out which one

I def rashes my buddy %uh

had the last like this go to the right
he’s like I don’t know which girl she is

urs like

a different permutation of three to four
girls at everyone and yes likely

mastermind to try to narrow down

and he’s a guy went on a day without you
is cute I still to issue could have been

an even six the girl like

yeah diseases had no idea that bill or

I’ve been dating for six months I’m not
serve with the ones she is yeah

and usually a good rule of thumb is if
there’s two girls in the profile picture

it’s the uglier one

the I because the hotter one would never
put another one in their prototype will

surely they don’t want to be mistaken
for the uglier have also see hot girls

that are like do it almost seemed out

earth I think or maybe they are down to
earth there may be at who knows why

anybody does anything but

the anymore I they i’ve seen. hot girls

guy like not have not be the

only person their profile pics a hot
girl and then a less attractive friend

she’s the hot girl

yeah in the main profile picture yeah
it’s rare it’s rare it’s rare

Israel her you see it have ever met with
a teller totally rare though i mean i

almost half the time I’m like oh I hope
this girl and then a date for hertz is

to have that I was very rare that

its really rare if it’s have that it’s
rare political issue you had what

I I have ever been blown away would have
different someone’s

a real-life appearances versus how they
represent themselves online

yes like holy shit you’re much yes

usually once was worse than once was
better and I had a glint in your where

they’re like you look better than your

and I like what’s really going on
general you’re more attractive than you

are your photos you’re not photogenic

be yeah Wow you’re not photogenic yours

your mean even so 5 I’m not photogenic
you’re just a bad person yeah

you can’t catch that perfect picture and
he actually said those 10 there’s a pic

a view

kicking a dog I there’s a picture you
flipping off a toddler

I the victims deserve giving your dad a
paper cut so that get that comes off

and the photo you can tell you’re a bad
guy is a victory is ours stepping on a

cat’s tail you can never tell a suburb
is this review sorta like i’ll your your

scalp Ling

yeah at a charity event I there’s wanna
be all think I can over kerosene outside


but the garden 30 orphanage down at the
what’s the FAC

the habitat the place where you rescue
dead birds oh the humane traps at Humane


there’s you up petition for the closer
one is yup

this is all night in a row that came
through me and right that still burned

down houses

with a camel a gas and ample the matches

had four matches up tender %ah

still and found out how is tender and
matches a thing Celica

up yet it because it’s like I me and the
logo is like a little flame if they %ah

with let’s create the spark whatever you
know keep the flame alive

as I it fiery stuff yeah 3q alright

anyway well as the author is that some
people are attracted to braces I had

over the growth braces once

and it was a I me she was 14 I B
Afghanistan I was 8

yeah I it I ethan has its kinda

sexy when no no sexy for me

sexy to cover the road races yeah
because like she’s innocent young

yes is the OSU was it but she seemed it
cuz the braces I allow

for yeah may value-free sis is better

sugar-coated shelter you are perfect if
colin powell et

it’ll he said it was good bill I did

I absolutely didn’t see you there yet he
raises would turn me on

it would but I would never do yeah I
want to get into what how weird it would

be to a

to a become an orthodontist to be able
to do to use any profession in the world

that you want to choose the one that
tortures teens

yeah but you also I remember I got my
braces of I was so happy

yeah so you’re giving Sirte or treat or
treat watching releasing into the wild

a beautiful young existing year old

iraq next question question number two

this one comes from someone all call

Chris Bosh I

6-foot-11 ages 260 pounds after the
University it’s actually from do anyway

that’s my view

you better preserved way that either and
I video I

hmm a do it on a listen at their hey get
best the like this season math

you pay in the Bronx he the way from

this is a very they recite Hill hello
jake near

there is a very tough rotunda girl that
lives in our unity halls and always

comes the clubs with my group

when she gets drunk she gets violent a
few times he punches and kicks me

especially if she sees me eating meat

as she is a vegetarian a few times she
is even knocked me to the ground on

nights out

I told her many ties to stop doing this
as it is odd but she won’t

should I just give her a beating a
teacher a lesson regards

Chris Bosh what is this what is this

weird school you go to %uh it’s an
English school

I yea no braces I would

I would I would never advocate hitting a
woman but this is as close as it gets

it’s so like a rotund girl whose relief
%uh physically fit and can hurt you

and it’s also I’m you you can’t defend
yourself there why do you think you can

just give her a beating

just over in all my girlfriends are
gonna break into a room with the with

socks filled with nichols et sa

year for a beat down to end all be down
ideal nickel socked with

send it to God and He are I it does a
body that this close like

other she she’s a vegetarian sushi at
she cares about the well-being of

animals but I was beat FC

I the feeding the I’ll beat the shit out
of a human before I ever kill a chicken

I really think people that read like
fair trade and add

and all that stuff and she just be
violent that South shake it done right


actions speak louder than words as long
as they’re not hurting in animals so

from now on I’m

if you’re if we get you eating meat
vegetarians is gonna punch you in the

face of the earth

you’re like a scab during this during a
strikers that this is a good physical

activities like the kind that like

cause like break-ins at Level II
hospital since the day and the like oh

they like free animals and the like

yeah red paint on people yelling
environmental terrorism

horse shit that’s cool well it’s
actually really say

all those people deserve beatings I yet
what do you do if you hit somebody’s Rd

you’ve talked to them several times
would you try maybe holding her hand so

tightly that it does hurt her

yeah but like you’re actually not
physically harming her right like you’re

squeezing it so tight that you get the
point she’s only really

really in pain cuz she’s struggling to
let go yeah exactly it’s her or like you

can shop for like get away from me wat
if you shove her to the ground it’s not

technically hitting

%uh if you’re lazy when she and then you
push your you shove her into the ground


she gets the message for you technically
didn’t strike or like spring I

spring up fire extinguisher all over
rule or something yeah at least Roy or

personal property

physically I scaring her United area

yeah get a knife and brandish it every
once in a while yeah it is you have a

physically threatened her

or like a slice a little bit for like
Viet like fat of oh wow

yeah a yeah like use or trimming I guess
I would also

um just talk to your RA I don’t know
what they’re called the love that is it

England but a talk to some authority
figure it’s cool maybe

didn’t wanna be a pussy about it I’ll
tell on her and he’s really hits me

all you can hit her his girl Friday
becky is that safe not a out there can

you stop paying our people seek she tags
along goes to the club’s

right next you done yeah I give I guess

there’s nothing you can do except beater
but I’m not I can say that on the


okay maybe give like opposite advice but
like in a way that actually advice

so for example what should you do wink

%ah I’m you whatever you do don’t don’t
don’t don’t know I don’t throw a switch

left hook to redo it did to her neck
okay at that’ll do not wanna know you do

not wanna rabbit punch her in the neck

I me and you don’t wanna and put your
thumb into RI

I that the way you wouldn’t want you
also don’t take your he’ll give like a

swift kick to her like a thigh meat yeah

that’s not good am i wanna raise her
pretty bad

gripping our hearings would the MacBook
now I do that

okay and just like grabbing her nipples
and squeeze hard yeah

days is this a don’t do that this

now I’m getting turned on you ass yet
don’t like

grab her nipples and squeeze them in I
fuller towards you and I had to let one

thing just

lead to another day like this for like
you with you let it rock to you the holy

shit you keep hitting me what if I hit
on you

yeah along with a slap you with
something else yeah like bender %uh view

need yeah spank your so yeah heavily I’m
gonna hit you back

oh yeah 50 pack I’ll get it if at all

lol its who both served each other up

is I um I really don’t know what to do
is i’d for Andrew

a a spanker anything I

Cesar with bacon I

she’s earned a grade be spayed Cape

I’m I’d like to spank a rotund girl I
really would like this plague

very much love rotund girl that is the
sexiest thing ever UK

I it’s funny because it’s true

I it lets the let’s take our little up

intermission now the I’m burnt oh you
know we have to do

yes finally give a shout out to our
harry’s buyers really fucked that up

we are we said if you forget the
receipts from Harry’s I raisers

that will I give you a shout out for got
to do it sure did

so where this is a technically a break
right now this is work yeah

is to please don’t charge us for this
%uh next 30 seconds

so we really do apologize for not
mention you earlier

Kevin B James H furry by H

noah K Keith s Herbert C

mike d Jack the Tanner W

Raymond s Christian an John

K Mason a Eric J

and Jake are who I thought is getting me

alone now we that we don’t have to give
you a shout out hey your RT the star the

show Archer

why I love you come on man that so you
wanna you throughout the year after they

hear the star you’re the funny lines
that are now during the web series I get

the cato allows that everyone loves a
mere but now this is my fucking time to


I’m use my god damn copilot the fuck say

say if you need it said yeah that’s fine
a chance to write on Michael yeah

you’re really had a you’re really into
you know you love your area

he didn’t care they have my way I carry
yeah I my house was I do that have you

if they do not know I i’ve Bible led for
this podcast you oh man house I fell

I’ve got blood drawn for my STD test
after I mistakenly told the budget


tweet they couldn’t get herpes unless
there was an open wound

yeah so that’s what’s up

from babysit sorry our

our first fight like a mass air had to
that was a nice

that was some know is you wasn’t me

I I’m not like that he’s like that I
hate to point fingers but I here we go

right at you buddy %ah it’s really the
break over

shit handle its mention I shows now so
don’t even do it at the end

roof we have a show coming up at
comic-con who’s gonna be a New York City


me raising any me my shot of

I shop will see you there shut the fuck

shut the fuck if your gonna be at the
New York City Comicon

%uh we are doing alive if I review with
Pete Holmes

which it’s probably going to be the
highlight of our podcasting lives yet 30

at Peets just this very funny comedian
she has no I’m already has a show coming

out on

TDs called the Pete Holmes shown he’s
gonna %uh do

be part of our live show to alive if I
were you I NYC Comic Con

very very steady piece of my favorite
%uh when he really stands out

set up tax this week as we do people
four he was a stand-up comedian

such as he was just like a funny dude
right and then we saw black should I use


I would I mean and hip appt that a no
place did really hate when you come to

the office

because he is laughable yeah and I was
like nah part %uh via at

I withdrew I was too scared to a
turnaround sizable intern desk listening


p crack up cacas like

I think that Pete slap is so enjoyable
when you’re its okay here like make you

laugh is making myself laugh like just a
rat you know like with your YouTube

in the circle right but if you’re I was
just like trying to pretend like I

wasn’t paying attention you guys and as
they hear Ian Pacos like oh my god is my


well they’re going to be on the inner
circle that come in NYC Comic class I

all of us will be

it’s gonna be amazing Sevier beautiful
laugh if you’re there do that and I if

you’re not a comic-con you can comes

to a live podcast taping at Brooklyn at
Littlefield on on November 6th

part New York City comedy week something
is counted as awesome something like

that the AF

and that’ll be our first official if I
review podcast they’ve ever gonna tape

input on line two

and we’re trying to take like audience
questions and stuff see how the little

badi participate the parties shall be

by and cool and you said you’d kiss one
person on the mouth yeah and I did

promise he was gonna be you

yeah but is somebody think it’s gone now

that a nice yeah novel kissing booth or
something I love it funny

him so you little kisses yeah free

I good I’ll smooch anybody that asks I
really will haha

and that doesn’t have anything to do
with the park as a distorted how you

live your life right you

but you have no standard seal pretty
much with I created by the idea that


just guys I personally never kisses
myself I

implies that because I’m not real
tele-t_v_ you know I wish I didn’t exist

on a dizzying lime small

that I am I

yeah I think gonna but I think I’m a
little bit %uh Veiga

a little bit have a a despicable typable
little shit why do you think that

no no I not see myself living

I mom I’m gonna celebrate myself you
really are a

your just two extremes are the same
human you’re like at one and

you hate how you are sometimes and how
you act and then

I within the next hour you’re a god you
think you’re the one of the most

impressive people on earth but you’re
never in between that stuff there I

never say I’m I gotta be you think

I mean I guess I’ll have the confidence
of someone who’s like exuding the right

I have high I get confidence there’s no
I me eyes there’s times are like I’m on

top of the world on top of the world

everything happens for me and then
there’s times from like I’m a piece a

shit I deserve to die

year um but I think that’s normal
everybody all day think they’re got an


but I’d never get very high or very low
I guess it just like people at have to

varying degrees and I’m

extreme on this armor Zen Buddhist in
that regard I think

no use or to just like motionless a
robust sort of like

you’re like us emotionally involved
evolved in that regard none of this

would’ve like

emotionless said Nam ira your stunt i’m
a i’m a mature adult well and are you

are you’re you’re you’re you’re nothing

you’re sort everything in that regard it

in that regard I am i I yeah I’m better
than you in that regard

is there is that a mere it stood at
better than you

every guy to I better that you because
I’m the real thing you’re just got their

reflections yeah this is you

having too much help I hmm alright

back we go I suppose so hold your nose
and fall backwards into that god damn

swimming pool of questions were about to

come with me they’re not honor those who
want more me

under the sea did the

dial in is that the downwards who had to
take it from me

tttt you out in the Sun they play all

hey area %ah arm I’ll

is a good one this one is from Chris
Birdman Andersen

woohoo another email from Dwayne Wade I

is that that ik hey guys every day some
dude from work goes on a Starbucks run

and having the closes office to the bus
I would always carry him his coffee

recently he started tipping me for the
coffee let’s just say he makes a lot

more money than me so his stats were
very substantial

I don’t think he knows that I’m just
keeping the money for myself and I just

an asshole I am i doing the right thing

I is generally about the second one

yeah those are the two extra mins alarm
I and my Robin Hood I

marife ever I saw it was social

%uh a secret a humanitarian and they
realized here what are you talking about

I am i doing

i doing it right he’s feeling tips
because he’s the one that is this with

is this right there’s no other gray area
lost to be clear I think

the boss is giving him a tip to give to
the guy was either going on a coffee run

or making the caveat that I but worse
there’s two middle man and he’s just

taking the

taking the test is definitely not
tipping you for walking the coffee is


I I mean you should just like think
about it

like this everyone in the office found
out what you’ve been doing

would you feel like a huge ass always
you basically feel you need to quit

or would you feel like you’re doing
there a this is the right thing I think

you can

this is sort of a seinfeld the problem
I’ve I could see Costanza this problem

and I think that the trick is to
convince yourself that he is dipping you

highway you’re doing that you’re doing
the by like

they are doing nice little things for
like service you know the freemen napkin

yeah I’d see the day as he believes
anything else

and any I go cavernous step I

Intel the I mean you’re stealing is
what’s happening right now really

because he is

as far as the guys concerned as far as
the guys concerned

he’s giving him a tip okay that they sat
stealing his money cuz he’s giving his

money away

he just assumes that the money’s going
somewhere else where it’s not

I guess maybe if one day if and I Dec
but you know that money is not going to


now I would if this is like um

it’s like if you suddenly taking too
much money in your paycheck

yeah would you like anything but you
have to because eventually some was

gonna catch it

and you clearly have known all along and
he didn’t say anything

if the you complete you can plead
ignorance you can act dumb

how that you can when it comes to that
kinda thing all you work tipping me

well know you tips yes you stole money

well I don’t know what money did
everyone so you know what is

billet your body you get you

we’re here is simple to hmm I who aided
kuwaiti is

day with you yeah it does that you did
wall at this appeal

I buddy yeah engineer for crying out

still the Euro your building space

I can I yeah I do play that doesn’t mean
I could keep your job

gutierrez break open a piggy bank llego

tired and poor the insides and hear
about the ever get Kat

I even though the I

that’s a new character we’ve never done
before ever lost 38 dominated

arm I I know a box fifth

I what Feria 11 goodbye

it’s %uh they grow these boys I just got
I don’t even call

sorry so I site I no I’m sorry

I’m sorry i sorry I hated nicole its i’d
on crazy

%uh that those to look at Tom Hanks I’m
sorry I at

the wheels well-thought now sagged I’m

I bag I ate a bad well sign now I

I’m alright I don’t know what food is
versus days

well said what’s happened to us I you

oh my god we’ve been recording for nine
days straight you have been recorded and

then I

news about him fly good although say
that they could just does

we del record those that had discovers a
special trip this is how we speak to

each other

this was the bud before we ever recorded
this is what made him your day I would

speak into mager phones

plugged into nothing and I like you know
we should just click on the on switch

yeah just answer your question yes that
we hopefully got to an email address

that may or may not have existed back

cell I say keep the money ya do you

are you can serious yeah mmm

keep the money no will seize that’s easy
I’ll he is feeling that janette

sees the senate leader I had said that
you are at has tagged el Q estan

you word is getting all the teachers in
right now

a call those are two peas advise taking
a leave ’em

what do you what would you guys do it’s
always a ride to do their eyes

yeah Jake says don’t do it I say you
know it you might as well go for it

you are making a lot of money this is it
your career you know was in a lotta made

forgot as a go to Starbucks is that it
is actually four well that he should all

of the drink into what do I start going
to Starbucks now I’ll be the guy that

all absolutely not I’m too busy

I wanna punch to you for their why I
what do I do it I get there

I hi I’m love you word

the amount that you’re defending him
makes me blame you for the crime

I how is that fair

I was that a legal on alright

last question what squeeze it in let’s
do it

did it it it it it it it it it it it it
that if they are headed up there

it did a care house athletes

is for you this I’m comes from a lady

who scholar Patricia Reilly

okay be okay line

but if it falling asleep if

hmm always say your map you’re you’re
resting your forehead on the pop got to

the microphone and the other thing yet

it would be pretty control pill I’m I

our roads bridges that was a lovely
falsely completely is gonna be some way

to make a pill out at this

I to a hack

folks Cockerham say hi 79 I love it’s

nom de driverless to the question I read

I have a phone call that have please do
it after you’re done

pay I paid Addison IQ

I you never believed in me and I just
love a crazy ft load is I’m

your cell loser on now I have it is a
rally rates

hey guys I just moved into an upper I
hey guys I just moved to utilize the law

you fifteen hundred dollars now

I do cuz they are for car payment I and
my bill it is I did

worthless third out

data I angry teen but he’s also really

I love you dad actually that

I went to bar dad I realize you started
trying to help out as best as you can

dad yeah and I realize every that you
cuz I deal with Mosley my own seat

dad dad is that puberty is very
difficult dad ya

I’m not OK with myself and us I
projected onto you

dad and that’s not fair is the mom of my
dad I know you’re just making me go to

school because you know I one hand it is
legal but on the other hand it’s gonna

make me more role rather dividual on
road at the same time really don’t

appreciate a nap guys

at hmm i right answer

I I II I think I love Katie now and i
said i little sisters is friggin Iran

looking after

dad I hmm Hannah

hey Jake and Amir I just moved into an
apartment with my best friend a fifteen

years and her fiance

living with them has been great with the
exception of him constantly hitting on


any time we are alone together he finds
a way to grow me or talk provocatively

up until recently didn’t bother me that

up but that is until recently he came up
behind me one night

and 0 rub his boner against my

back I told them to stop fucking with me
but he just laughed it off as a joke

I don’t know what to do now because he
is still super inappropriate

I want to tell my friend but I don’t
want to damage our relationship

and I don’t want to be that girl who
ruin there’s help me please

Patricia Reilly I’m appalled I know

about what though that she didn’t turn
around in

suck is the cheeses Christ he’s doing
talking about

be on a platter use life Scott I’ll go

no ads no the beer not err dunno I bet
my video the hospice

words %uh busy a kendo acuerdo

you know you should be putting the the
body is the other get the inside the

back of your throat

this is criminal what he’s doing what
he’s doing

is illegal she ate you yes she a

he could be arrested for this you is I
would love to see her try

of no to see which he does to me her and

him what whites I

take Park a a

the judge who is the love said it’s a
game and try to five years

and advised as the is the courtroom e3

I little slots you what is scary
courtroom that isn’t the a sublime

date-rape um yeah I mean that’s pretty
fucked up

yeah %uh you flirting is bad enough but
that but this sexual harassment as a

whole other groping in

and you you by the way you definitely do
want to be the person that route that

comes between them through that

hear your French it’s gonna be fine as
long as you’re honest your YouTube she

doesn’t wanna marry a guy that rub his
boner against your ballet

they should not be together that guy
should it be dead

even if he did like stick it up against
her back and be like this is a hold-up

I give me all your love congress on it
money like that

it wouldn’t be good though Youth Day
that you did

hosts a given if you like stuck his dick
into her back and was like

%uh this is a stick-up anything you know
how to get my stick up

you’re doing is that it wouldn’t be
worth it does not do it alone you’re

going to be a lot alright

I’m not even if the sort out his today
then stir back and said

alright you know I put the money to bag
a nobody gets squirt

even if he did that that would be a self
popped up they’ll be so messed up

I your the

you’re a molester for this for whites
yeah I

exertion is not a sexual deviant it for
your a sex offender

ruled showcase amir’s a sex offender no
I absolutely yeah

ladies and gentlemen the he does have to
tell you this

I police say they’re here already

the barroom I just pressed 901 I held
and I

I let the call a connect for that whole
entire day they just sent someone I even

ask the justices

to get one’s own a you did report this
guy definitely dear friend

maybe I’m to the police yeah I i mean it

if he is like inappropriately groping
you and touching you he’s not allowed to

live there

I at the very least you should be
marrying your best friend I’m serious

interview I don’t know I’ll follow up
with this but if you live within the

tri-state area I’ll come and personally
kick the shit out a variety is good let

me ask Abby I’ll find a way to fucking
kick the shit out of them

I’ll hit with some now that till help
fight dirty al email till he had taken

the I’ll scratch by a clause eyes out
page cake ideas on a mess of me

I’m gonna kick his ass off I I don’t
care how big my eyes in Jersey

yeah he’s a is the jerseys like this
auto mechanic 6-3 220

I and he’s actually waiting for you give
you that shower how to

yeah take down the towel give me the rod
I the a bike blindside m I get him in

the back ahead that’s going to get him
down in a Mexican in the neck

you get a resident on bundy and I don’t
care I’ll go to jail

Jesus I am afraid jail I have read about

haha what it is let her know

was that with the I I’m going to jail

up don’t believe me just watch how do I
thought to I thought the lyric with a

fucking her life

I boots so Jake says definitely do
something about it

I he’ll beat the shit out of them and
I’ll just say definitely tell someone

I unfortunate I don’t believe in
physical violence but I’ll totally use

my words

and %uh search how to talk mosser Evo
wordsmith yeah a

hey bucko I the flap beanie

with it dick I it is a turnoff

who more than I I think you’re so
invested in the situation that you feel

bad about running their relationship but
you shouldn’t

because this guy’s a monster he’s a
deviant monster yeah

%ah so tell your friend about it that’s
all we would do

if we were you cool site if we where you
live in LA ok I’ve had better not

one more try here phooey where you

does not bad but it wasn’t great if you

loon anyway that’s our show

thanks so much for listening everyone
thanks for the emails keeping come in

that email again is a fiery show

at gmail dot com I we need your
questions we need your themes on

submissions the one at the beginning was
from someone named Lucy Cooper

we need your tooth huizenga positivity

the please just in all we feed off the
energy is likely the

we talking to this void and we put it
online and we hope to god that people

listen to but we don’t know

sure the numbers go into your money
actually um

I’m a set up a Pay Pal seizing gimme

actually if everyone could venmo me five
but I’ll no

yeah I’ll right now I R you listenin is
bucking a move everything on that

they them only five bucks yetta if no
shaking off their back

its fight eyes a lot to somebody knocked
down now

you really can find it you can find five
dollars give you i’ll give you a week

look in the help we have done our couch
cushions we have your parents

if your parents let me let me out for
emergencies out

venmo me we have sponsors that pay us
and I now can support us

I’m know we have sponsors and say I want
is money in addition to the sponsors

okubo Lau you don’t get that I want more

no idea idea that I’m asking for money
so I don’t they do shit my get shit so

how works people watch TV they watch the
commercials the commercials pay for the

content that you know what’s the count
and I looked and I know where

we have our commercials we have our
sponsors that’s it. the party that’s

going on at the necessary thing anybody
this is a podcast

get that okay i’m saying is in addition
to that

in addition to that i won five bucks
from everybody listen are not soccer


wanna as it that is just not it’s nice
that works people expect

free cockpits at a lot of the that would
prohibit a lotta you

for I’m not woody China you get and the
other example

make the podcast I don’t think either a
month charged that prevented at Citibank

mother as I they wanted they know they
can get it for free rate

you thought you you thought you really

just grab several hundred thousand
dollars a nap in people

I thought I I really gotta grab source
your early retirement fund higher yeah I

really I

I thought that have really bad mood when
I read our house I okay here it is you


okay alright not the heart the matter

I it is that it’s the chair that I’m
glad you’re hearing itself

anyway call I thanks so much for the
arab %ah

that our love for the city and if y’all
wanna do a mitzvah

oh my god I love you second you are in
the same

II yes yeah that was a little box that
he was cool to toca

up to the doc a box the doc a Dhaka to

Tanaka yeah it’s like charity right to

saga that has the setup as that that
gained 2.6

Ghulam ever listen to this podcast about

I have their again we a we really
appreciate it sir thank you so much that

are about the heat love a

gavel him up by a bus that out I

now this last theme song we out at the
songs by someone I believe named

Alex make Richie and if it’s not then
I’ll re record that person’s then after

we’re done thanks so much was that
everyone but



that was our episode once again it was
brought to you by Hulu Plus if you can

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