Episode 25: Waxing (with Emily Axford)

Description:

CollegeHumor’s Emily Axford joins us to discuss friendship with benefits and the pain of grooming yourself.

This episode is brought to you by Squarespace – the easiest way to create a website. Go to Squarespace.com/ifiwereyou and use coupon code “Amir” for 10% off! (And thanks to PeopleThinkingThings, GCTVComedy, and TalkingHeadPodcasts for using our Squarespace coupon code for their website.)

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us nice yeah

%ah can we go

if I would you it’s a podcast show

it’s got real cool dude but you are
ready no doubt it doesn’t even matter

this will keep a lot advice that were
bright everybody very nice

that’s how we do it we don’t support the
troops we don’t support with agents we

don’t support you

but soon it this it to Jake am here
today about

you show it to you com I

past college sports come out

you crazy for this one day well I don’t
get their rapid

forget it don’t get that reference I

I hey this is if I really only a vice
podcast on the internet hosted by us on

a mere

and I’m JK and INLA that low

its I guess our first-ever now dole now

well first in a while though first in a
while with a dollar she was going to be

the first guest ever

yeah and then I did some research SR
Ricky had been on it right he was the

first gift ever

sarafina you decide okay so so insulted

and then you realize trader had done it
yeah and you just didn’t wanna be in

even-numbered guest

exactly yes realize Allison it done so.
then she dropped out again

right and then she realized maybe this
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sense

we also offer your money yeah made their
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I if you guys are listening fifteen
hundred dollars a pop who lines in the

fifteen hundred dollars a question

if any have a cig I riding around what
time let’s get where we gotta

gotta show you who submitted that that
tight flow though yeah

that that the theme song they just heard
our first draft the summary

yes last week was or or two issues or
R&B

smooth R&B yeah this was from a guy
named JK Allah

yalla he called it an original freestyle
the thing that’s true

I think you any as senate scripted but
that’s not a bad thing

yeah but the it no to most are most raps
like they say it’s a freestyle but I

could actually scripted

her now i’d don’t do people’s is that
something was represented

no he doesn’t write anything down
activity that has created everything

right

nosy he has a record he doesn’t have
time yes the quote

the is a real thing Owain yes dinero que

if you think here to live a lie I don’t
yeah

our exam go to what’s the most famous
lil wayne song I

my favorite is Kirsch an offensive the
most famous

lollipop yeah like a lollipop

hey everyone its like argues that the
one like

I get them that good condition out there
haha that’s in there I guess I’m down

bitches

act make some fellow I write that down

take a look at what’s ahead as manager
long is mad bitches love me

well yeah that that second part that’s
like that i think is bad because that

families better than me said come with
my daughter

actually love me yeah I don’t give a
fuck about those haters nah nah I would

buy your own bitches

yes %uh so their way this podcast works
is that people email us in there a

little %uh difficult situations and we
do our best to offer our advice

this is a spitting Emily %uh so will you
stay in the room please

I mean you already made it all the way
to rec rooms yeah that’s true but I was

bound and gagged I

few reduced on blanco an easy trip it
was actually it was a pleasure

well as I was in the truck air like a
two-man

I believe no one on the subway stop this

effect do you see something say nothing

mother isn’t that a culture that we live
in our that’s enough in New York City

I a

said you wanna just that I read in yeah
we r thank you rec room

let’s just take a moment to share group
that TV that’s the reason that this

a smell a census moos smell so Santa
Rosa smell system is no

pretty good in the area is located in my
apartment right cuz we got it is far in

your apartment yeah and I was never
fired here

yeah are you trying you know you could
in a little

I

you think %uh okay this is our first
email

ever first email ever we finally got
around to answering at not sever their

first email

everytime first email the show and we’re
gonna give this person a fake name

to preserve his anonymity and all go
with hairy

Harry Wow this is a little 11 so silly

goalie you see it hairy so his
off-the-cuff

there then needed and he denied it all I
where they come from yet but I know

these emails are written they’re all
submitted by little Wayne to us

file it away you mean they’re all a bit
by Lorraine C you

yeah I we see is gonna come here
inspectors that the buildings that

conundrum

I

season Atlanta and that’s sad I met a
female dragon

yeah he said 07 third-rate my

Drake’s album I I really have to listen
to more rappers than just Macklemore I

feel like I’m

I ski may be missing are gonna it hi

ready a go this one comes from Harry hmm

so there’s this hot asian chick have
known for awhile i soon was into me

and my girlfriend who I live with one
away for a week with her mom the same

week and she went away my friend had a
birthday party at a club in this asian

chick was invited to and we ended up
drunk hooking up on the club

she wanted to come back to my place but
only couldn’t cuz her sister was whether

she said that she wanted to come over to
fuck sometime this week while my

girlfriend was gone

at the time being drunk in all I was
into it but now I feel like I probably

shouldn’t

but I still really want to I’m like 99
percent sure

this girl would be cool with it and my
girlfriend wouldn’t find out

she knows my situation is cool with just
hooking up

I know I should be faithful but it’s not
like I’ve always been anyway

plus I don’t think my gf would get that
pissed even if she found out

even though she definitely wouldn’t like
it

I feel like only to fucking studs like
you can help me added as jam

also anally he’s held at that love hairy

guy just called Lil Wayne here get help
please

sure you on ok file: I

world think actually really the only
like offensive player that he knows that

he just kept calling her this

Asian yeah that’s a really offended you

you soon see everything else is totally
fine but you know it’s like

well what about the subject to the email
which i’ll read now should I bonus check

sir mom I didn’t know you can say it’s

I stacked yes I do like appeal to earth
like you

farai regarded as a compliment is that
the and like just so we don’t

column in a hassle yeah you guys are
studs

because I know you’re just your
europeans this shit is so like

oddly logical about this is like I think
she would still like it

I think this girl from would definitely
do it my girlfriend would never find out

as I get to cheating is there a would
like in your job

never find out the questionnaire is are
you be given up be an oven asl to

actually go through his he’s also said
i’ve

it’s not like I’ve been faithful all the
time anyways boy who is this

I you rather see it like she is the my
group and I live with so like you have a

she conveniently takes trips with her
mom all the time

own anyway so I have a week long bone
fast

I water at like trips with the mom is an
air quotes maybe she’s out getting boned

to buy some Asian duty at all that this
guy is telling himself that he has like

a get out of jail free card kit

into a bone this asian chick I think
that the way get a guilt-free

coach workman died late on people all
the time and we have a cheat on me once

i do. extremely

I through yeah it’s so easy if

it some way if you cheated out there for
girlfriend cheated on you you’d be

destroyed

yeah I’d be really upset with it what it
would have a girlfriend went on a trip

with her mom

I would be a destroyed I why I voted on
this shit

its services during your mom your CDI me
where I love in one hotel room

israeli television with your mom for me
answer that question

it I wonder what makes some people a

a a able to cheat on people is it a
genetic thing or is that how you’re

raised

like some people never seen him so
asshole you use this shit you think my

parents raised me to be a cheater no
italics

I yeah it’s crazy be a cheater but
you’re not offended both

experience yeah I’m a piece of shit I
know that would read my parents and kids

are great

I turned out like this if despite their
best efforts in Haiti okay as a shared a

guy

features my brother all amazing people
not cheaters meet a piece a shit

59 cheaters at a-sixes is a very high
success rate yeah this is think that

this my advise my sincere advice do you
give sent via since yes of course

my sincere pleasure just be like I don’t
know leave your girlfriend doesn’t

really sound

bike yeah like you know like you can she
n thats

you know maybe that’s fun but even more
fun

would just be to have sex with you you
wanna have sex right here

maybe that’s not only had sex with his
asian girl not feel like you needed to

cover it up

but is not a little bit excitement
factor I don’t know cuz like

I mean having sex is kind it’s fun and
it’s also I like it I think it’s fun to

do it again and I think it’s fun for it
not to be like a

scary secret that you can talk to your
friends about yet I think sex is so I

think sex has an excitement factor the
fans were to write off

right that is exciting enough like the
little is that if there is an

actually that exciting yes have you ever
cheated

you don’t have to answer that if you
don’t want to I

only in my only in my youth where like I

have an old maid named only and only
need to win one

only 21 boyfriend and it was just
because we’re like

be long-distance for a you’re on the
outs

right now I wasn’t hungry lesbians in
reliance you’re living with somebody and

he is soo that’s it

as soon as he left perfect you should
not do it was the first but can we kids

by the way he Rt cheated on her right

a story he cheated no clear-cut it
happened so quickly that he still had

the entire week to plug the asian girl I

it was really like you wrestled with
anything it was just like

night one grover that town I’m cheating
on her

yet do I cash in on this like girl whose
dad to come over the rest of the week

will have this

empty apartment and I mean go for it I
personally I’d say leaky

just do it is late probably like this is
insane

does do it soon how you behave when I
would be at this a different advice

promise your body too rare she’s very
nice letter that you get a

you get it Asia and I’m like that I tell
you on the same diseases

I’m these guys they just do exist sounds
like your relationship isn’t good anyway

straps as a force you to break up like

I get kind of them please original
advice which is like just break up with

his girlfriend yet clearly don’t

I mean you mention that the girlfriend
wouldn’t even be that upset if she found

out is that some these a

know your sched I don’t think my gf
would even get that pays the she found

out

right both Dhabi really yesterday

we’re talking about having an open
relationship with you do that I don’t

know who that works for a bail just does
for some people

has it does it ever work out an open
relationship a lot of people think it’s

just like a fallacy but I don’t know

I’m how can I judge in people’s
relationships I must work for some

people

there’s thirty cents or in it works for
ever like yeah we’re just in an open

relationship and I that’s okay what is
right for me

sure the Lakers like problems in like
things you have to wrestle with but you

have to wrestle with things with me not
to be too

like there’s great relationships are
never easy cut has overall there’s a

grills right sometimes like you have to
tell me and sometimes like just as long

as you never tell me

right there I mean I’ve been in both
wear like kiss people are like you’ve

been open relationships yet

with a long distance or open or I

not really there so I mean there’s are
like you know sex buddies

you know it was open on your end but not
on your relationship

yeah it is OK yeah so what do we charge
people are not

and I never do I mean you know I think
there’s in any open relationship I’ve

ever been in

where I’ve where there once were like
I’ll that we can hook up with other

people just like

let me know or there’s like you know
Don’t Ask Don’t Tell

do you think don’t let me know I always
do that

do my thing and don’t let them know yeah
the hard part is telling them

right and you never want to use our yard
like oh yeah you can look up with people

if you want

if they knew just the sheer amount of
people I was going after trying to hook

up with a fat

if they knew how desperate I was acabar
only

I stayed at the bar even guys trying to
get me excuse me out I tried to pick up

with him

I it happened don’t have this that is
the saddest hookups turnover than a

hookup

I was like a business that is the done
as I can tell you I don’t like it

W dog who has a home but like goes after
food like a straight I

doug is love the I you’re like a cat
that gets out impregnates the 13 other

cats in the neighborhood

yeah you are you a little less effective
story

on the I was I was really really drunk

tryna like go home with this girl I’m at
a bar

and I failed I wondered home which I
should have just like gone inside

but down at the time was living in the
East Village

I had a girlfriend at this point my life
what year is this too so I can mentally

place was quite

I don’t wanna 6 I’m afraid they look at
that releasing knows

as the 2000 what she’s same city or not
no

okay like 2007 her eight okay

um so I away I walked home had a
girlfriend

should not have been even outright hook
up with people but failed

outside my door I was throwing up um

I was approached by a prostitute who I
still to this day I’m not sure if it was

male or female

some kind of um dress as usual and yeah

so she started grabbing my penis and I
was like throwing up and I was like no

no

mom Anna and I wet highway I got to the
door with Mikey

had a second thought and turned around
and then wandered around the entire

block looking for the chance that
creates I could pick up with

favor her and that you found them if I a
at I found

a him or her I would have probably just
like the

done something very odd I never I
believe this that is there that I tried

yeah if your life was a movie that would
smash cut to the next scene would be you

in a a

I my mentor my library get help but they
said is not a movie its just the

electrogenic

I hours later here I am tragic and you
have a bit 3/8

mascot to the most depressing reality
the president yeah

I having learned literally zero things
in the last six years said

X sorry mom up for not warning you to
turn it down

overhead her retroactively follow them

every single episode this action yeah on
it

you have an open race every month though
yes I

you the open line of communication yeah
right red hair and a gray

of course I my advice is to not cheat on
your girlfriend

but yeah and maybe you should still go
you think he should stay with them

I guess not I guess tell your girlfriend
every if the only way to stay together

as if you tell you govern every single
time you transgressed and she %uh

forgives you for it year I think we can
all agree neither Lake

be totally honest with her or just break
up right

30 that is decided then it is agreed we
need a gun

young man next question Wingardium
Leviosa

I’ll stop there I you loser

it now I feel really bad for yeah he was
screaming and to answer any

I Chau

plans to raise I him to go live

if you can get it out year do you think
I’ll is

belt area but little 12 year act

I is fell I got the Magic Stick

you really do I

alright question number two actually at
a time

yeah cells we have jet I

question number two will call her her my
any for my any

so the guy have been dating and I have
been having sex haha I always mess up

these

so the guy dating I use the word sex
organs and yeah if you’re bad

I wanna see if your badge reader I wanna
see it like this actually art I

year ago I really help you yeah I’m
really bad at Reading

like it’s a okay yeah I don’t like if I
goodbye do well then like I’m just going

to be the new reactor lentil you mess up
in rats which is them away so the guys

been dating I have it

I love down %ah show you on a sound yeah

you know what she is a god damn tight
bro it’s a typo

okay I’m not looking again I think so
the guy I’ve been dating

and I have been having sex for a while
now

okay okay really desperately that is
right the guy had been dating

yet in and I have been having other know
that’s right the guy I’ve been dating

and I have been having sex with for a
while now

that’s family there

it’s a guest mix I clean it up and keep
reading

okay so the guys been dating and have
been having sex with for a while now

hmm and I and recently okay this is just
messed I

exhibit in the KC Stadium just have sex
with them to do have been fucking for

awhile

gloomy I okay recently he said and I
quote

while I appreciate that you take your
time and effort to shave I think we

would both benefit if you started
getting waxed instead

I love you but this could be a huge
downer on our relationship

it’s a real dick thing to say but I
really love this guy’s

so what should I do whack severe dump
the D nice little

the aggregate anything great ending nice
little poem yeah

life that ruin our lives as it is
question yeah I was sleeping I have a

bit back a girl in the room

yeah the authority reminisce sit back
and let you guys answer before I way and

I why I a sound naive and say I

a Down it doesn’t matter if it’s shaved
or waxed ur

I like grown in the personal preference
a

like I don’t have 1i I’m with you like I
don’t it doesn’t matter to me

button if this guy like if

if he’s in love and has like I something
that gets them off

I think you is at least polite in asking
well he’s asking he wanted to be bone

bald which it is but he wanted to be
done in a different way and I think that

know the big ask

I but I’ll Sedona liked he might be. may
be asking though it might be that she

just like shades like her bikini line
anyone so doggone

I like from so he’s like remain like I
would be sexy from Bush to Balti might

just be like I don’t like

there’s stubble or something yeah
because I mean wax is like

bucking very very bare at that I don’t
know

I i think is an asshole for asking not
really though if you’re in a committed

relationship any other references very

he said I appreciate the time I don’t
know saying it’s a huge downer for both

of us ordered like

know it is kinda manipulates clearly not
a downer for her

yeah it my bases getting waxed

hurts a lot but sodas breaking up

Wow although I guess like which after
and thank you so break out here

I did enjoy never I applies okay so
you’d rather break up

is that I day gear that correctly are
yeah

I don’t know like I a I personally get
wax n it hurts like fuck

arm but I just do because it’s what’s
most convenient I will say it is really

convenient you and you don’t have a
shame anymore and that’s great

we how long the unit is a fourth you
have shaped like a month you

I a little less naive about that arises
that you are there

never got my pussy wet yeah I’m sorry
vacation when the laser

but I didn’t know that that waxing is
that intense that it that is

that much more it removes the hair for
longer than shaving

yeah right and body like when you when
you have when you’re dating someone who

axes

I think like as a guy you have you’re
very I

your kind of acutely aware how painful

a process it is it’s like X it’s
expensive yeah I dislike after a whack

she liked wobbles back

right and have sex cannot say hit and
and I mean

I can you see it it’s like a poor little
like

Ste thanks to our right I

paragraph shape at our yeah I’m take you

myspace I’m relaxing a giant a hail yeah

strain lacks the vagina that love spirit
I

but yeah no I mean like I would say to
her like

at it like watch out he that’s kinda
manipulative language but if you trust

them like it’s a go try it and if it
works out

for you then that’s a win-win and if it
doesn’t then you to say like

yes sorry I’m not doing that get I
thought you definitely are in control

the situation I think this dude

and if use if you decide that you don’t
want to

and say that and he’s like still act
like a dick think get out yes but if

you’re like

if you like him enough to give it a try
then maybe you might try and like it if

he specifically is like I want you have
a landing strip

then he probably has is a creep

you’re likely to triangular smiling
plays yeah that’s y como alas got a

question that is sorta like this would
like some guys

play at it’s not like about being a dick
some people just have fetishes I some

growth because I was just playing I
crude

no yeah I mean you’re not cuz it is its
order we’re too like put that on

somebody to do it

my FetLife people have there I know
they’re good like guys like to the

penetrated with dildos or something
enter like you like to be pissed on

that’s why thats yeah but I like better
beyond blessed by god I love with

someone and she was like

hey I want you to I want you like slap
you in the face during sex

like that doesn’t get me off but I love
her and I want her to like have a good

orgasm

but this particular this is this is of
her being like I wanna slap you in the

face

yes right X yes that’s exactly what it
means that %uh slapping you I want to

pour hot wax on you and pull your pubic
hair out

yet during sex which dynamic I would I
would say

I yeah I then the advice is the same I
would be like alright try slapping me in

the face

will see like how much I dislike it

we’ll see how much you how much better
you like it and maybe if there’s like

some kinda ballots were like I can do
this

as a treat you every once in a while you
had been told that sleeping with me is

like getting your vagina waxed

like you know how Mike a mic tickets
like hot hot

waxy sticky you have like I believe that
life where you sort of like have a

soldering iron a hot glue gun

yeah it like yeah and the lucky
underneath side on my shaft a hot hot

flypaper

yeah and so is and also your she your
sheets are on the little %uh

paper that the use in hospital room yeah

lacks paper bag paper yeah better just a
gathering of

for my flowers a glue trap amass glue
trap and then a wax paper bag what

I the UN High shaft like a serial killer

this is so yet he serial killing pussy

0 you if not raise your eyes one rape

I I

a good advice yeah I’m glad I am other I
think we could have properly told her

how to wax your vagina even without
actually being here

by cuz that’s what we did I probably had
a rather exactly I don’t think I showed

years at home relaxing

oh my god now a costly it usually costs
Lake

depending on like you can find places
I’ll do it for like 30 bucks but then

like someone like the nicer places are

are like 50 bucks but they hurt less but
actually fight to be kinda interesting

experience because like you’re facing
pain

yeah oh that’s cool feat yeah I was
kinda feel later I’ll try to get a feel

like are you start or something like
that not

are you sure I could never get over jet
lag that’s true that’s true but I was I

would feel like you know I can do this

yeah I’ma to start planning how many a I

riddle of and I’ll rep says that she
died ps3

yeah you guys guess adjusting I guess

I saw Kevin Corps can get his entire
chest wax and that was a lot

I guess 6 for

it’s more morass a at what it all
depends cuz you can either get

everything gone

or you can leave you can just get like a
bikini wax we can leave that little

landing strip

right Brazilian as they watched your
bubble tea right they add a go at the

goal

actually that that’s what hurts the
least the whole I

that i sorry for the little desert for
my

its okay whatever you think me over on
my car think I take over here I

think and how I guess you know we should
do is out

police unit general Zwack I

it that occur that could be a bottle
i’ve podcaster something I’m video

episode yeah you’re special guest can be

guys guys back strain is waxing yeah
guys get a guy go to a lax in place in

Derby like

just last night I left I they are when I
was like 19 I went with my girlfriend at

the time in mike was making jokes about

however Brian was shaking his head he’s
gonna wax before he’s

know is not now you I totally fell for
it

I think that years at my record right
now yeah

Bryant and while he is yet look at pubic
mound it is porcelain vase

yes yes yes this all year like David
peace he says he’s a

is pressing against the glass it sounds
like a squeegee it’s so

I so robberies through its I

speak a ticket that sounds like a dry
windshield wiper when it’s not raining

against are you

yeah that way too many hit

I could be killed there’s something I
can however I love squeaks and creeks

thats

aaliyah Love squeaks creaks X and
anything that Rick silly noises

I a

are a are we done there yeah a relaxed

yeah let’s do it he is illegitimate will
do an episode were getting waxed to me

after I go

STD tested for this podcast well yeah so
we’ll do another healthy general things

as I don’t think it’s healthy to get I’m
not getting

X love Annika I was saying we should do
NP and his dick more than 15 minutes

no it takes like it takes like mean

our military guys have make sure it’s a
five minute something we would during

the podcast unlike will try to like

keep our like keep on doing now that I
don’t get how do you have I’m terrified

that it has an area that’s why I would
never a as a guy I would never

ever ask my girlfriend to wax anything

it’s just like ok OFI ago experienced
pain and spend much money

if she wants to do that she does that on
our own ago that too but like

a I think it’s yeah rude to be like get
waxed if she’s

if you like a hairless pussy letter
shave if she isn’t yeah I mean I didn’t

come to the conclusion to

get waxed because I was cuz some boy
friend was like get waxed rowly view for

a sexier one

I Thursday they you doing I said it’s

you’re lazy let you rather have the
exact just like lazy go through the pain

but be done for like a month in a it’s
good they don’t want to be rude to the

girl from the you cheating on

alright handbag so I here’s my question
everyone wax for me I will just

yeah I don’t want to be rude to her face
I

ill-prepared behind a bad guy behind her
back destroying her

you bid by DA understand yeah

friends I yeah I wax our best friend
myself go huh

question number act is this question
number three

trade where’d we’re good with is as good
as you say we’re taking our sweet ass

time but it’s

we’re finding truth we’re finding just
disagree that class K

yeah and dear dudes

I’m wondering I’ll just yet and you his
income some will call him a-ron

I’m wondering how many gay experiences
you have to have before you are

considered at least part gay

to be honest I’ve had four not counting
the immature ones before I

53 you for take this to spit

I

I don’t think I’m gay but certain people
have told me I am including my

stepbrother

my music teacher my friend Maggie yeah

it’s true that certain sections are you

oh yeah I should have told Israel the
Allied ever he wrote it

it’s true that certain sexual parts
excite me but I darlie

like the restive being gay like that
touchy Nestor the Wednesday night

shopping

what do you guys think in 2013 can a guy
enjoy some parts of the gay lifestyle

that go on

all in let me know if you’ll be answered
this question thanks Ron

pS I don’t watch gay porn just regular
what’s

arm I mean I mean it’s a laiki you just
sound bisexual and that’s fine

yeah yet what is it you know I think I’m
just like amused by this question you

so down its a he’s eligible for upgrade
your knowledge you part Ken for

my dad I’m per Kafe I am it sorted I
love this music teacher told me with gas

well as right after they had very blue
your music teachers have to tell you

that your gays have to have one

sorta I is the there’s the kids is Gail

love a sexuality a really earth-like be

homosexuality would like some people
like some people are zero some people

are six

I think 026 so like six is full on gay

only like same-sex that the litany of

of fun and some people are 0 or 1 and
that’s like only

straight only had a row and that some
people are just uniform

actually most people fall somewhere on
the spectrum like in the middle

yeah but don’t you think this was a girl
would be like yes you can still be

straight

she’s only made out for this is
different for guys but I mean guys are

there are two bisexual guys do

yeah i think is OK I would say the on
the only advice I would give based on

this one is like

is like be careful about like the
self-loathing stuff lake is Lake

you know if you are yes are you borrow
your terminology hard gay like

you shouldn’t be like ashamed or
stereotyping like people who are gay

Asian

you know right especially bees like I’m
down to fuck dude but I don’t like

shopping

like okay then it sounds like your day
and have a bad perception yeah

Sagar you’re not only gave a year a
homophobic you

yeah and over are actually guess that’s
like where a lot of homophobia

comes from I am yeah yourself and i also
think they like the fact that he’s sorry

sounds a little self loathing of like

their her like a little like judgment a
love like

gay culture makes me think that maybe
he’s totally gay and isn’t fully

accepting in himself which is like

something Asian be aware as could be
happening yeah

try to work through that yeah it’s
totally cool to be gay

for you talking about I would say it’s
ok I’m not even say it’s okay to be

okay good how to get of the I excuse to
lie about being a lesbian

yeah I’ve always wanted to be a lesbian
when I was in high school I lie when I

went to college

I are I like told everyone in the
beginning I know I was like to graduate

with a girl for a year

and yeah iris I was playing around about
to be cool to get married to a girl

Milly Willy first met a couple people I
like

i-league it was like sick we really try
to like

chain I come over the new nickname when
you go to college or something i jus

like

I’ll be cooler people won’t want to know
me more from a lesbian right as I would

like to hear lol I got what I am

yeah there’s like something different
about at school yet see if you can

convert me

guy I works every single day

I parents everywhere for that way I

what’s your advice I am delia ID for gay

yeah it is there is a thing called by
game it’s just being bisexual

that’s not a the hey honey I really
think that hook up with before you would

consider something the park gates since

since being immature since is after his
immature phase have hooking up with a

lot of guys

after age F before the age of 15 of four
so he did way

we are you hooked up with a lot of guys
before his fifty yeah italian amateur

face

be even that language you know you are a
Yale

love our price: yourself enough there’s
one thing I leave you guys were

I only run up to a hacer

and that is that too very beautiful
advice yeah what is it

well love yourself let yourself

be okay with yourself this is the
actually I want to talk about this is

the sort of a burning Man mentality

hearts cereal rye everybody is an
accepted everybody is celebrated

okay on my it’s really nice I

awesome I love them but I can’t do I was
iwo I wonder who are needed just keep

you wanna be with them

what is the Burning Man edited

mean I’ll DBZ accepted celebrated what
you say

I said everyone everyone is it just
accepted their celebrated

yeah what about bad people

you know what um I don’t know you’re
talking about their know that I don’t

have you ever email

I really no bad people so family there
was a bad attitude made fun of people on

other matters at as elevated obvious
like

you have to come with an open heart mind
and I’m not gonna be doing that

alright well you wouldn’t be celebrated
would ever do that again you know you be

kicked out

I are people get that a bird from
burning man

yeah of course albeit yeah if you break
the law you kicked out there

where the laws and the middle of them
there’s Nevada State

laws they’re not like if someone asks
for heard you have to give it back

i mean they’re like I also that here
which is actually a lot of state law

I 34 it

you’ll get kicked out for do something
like that but I mean you would be I

think you would be

I looked upon very weirdly if you like
I’m not fucking anybody I don’t wanna

meet anyone new

but why did you come all the way out
there the desert did not meet anyone

I just wanted to prove Jake wrong I
mostly had

sense is that a No laptop I just like
ignore everything and your family the

whole time

wearing a suit I was a lot of jobs that
that you’re ever ever makes a

comes up with the playa de that those
kinda like spiritual or tells a story

years

Verizon files I go apply a name is
Starbucks

I because I love the stars and I’ll solo
Starbucks

and I was 11 the buttocks I
dollar-billion yeahh as bad as

speed has the DSL your hair tent is
actually giving away 10 dollar bills he

sort of course capitalism on to birdie I
have my FI hotspot

and Red Bull for sale I

and so it was that one little virus that
that spread throughout the day he had

you took down a burning Man yeah I ended
up actually at the cashless society but

I ended up walking out with 1100 block

I it if his cuz I sold live by

and Red Bull yeah I made a profit of
Burning Man

if the that other people that put it on
make a profit

%uh I just maybe because I didn’t
release a thousand people paid

four hundred dollars so the 28 million
dollars yeah I know I don’t know

exactly the I i think is actually sorta
like some kinda dark secret

I think you I think there’s a
documentary about it a

DC the guy later love the money goes
back into the festival and also

I don’t know if evoke couple people
profit I had such a positive experience

for them

I don’t mind like your number

the very sad that you really are not a
burner yeah they said you’re there is

someone from getting

I don’t think he should’ve I I really do
I really better than anybody heard you

boat as you say that I really don’t
think they would want you back know and

your friends that went with you and
wanna go back after they hear that

I don’t think they would want to invite
yeah has sagged don’t invite Jake that

diverts

how I got started on the usual campaign
I

could you imagine all facets Abha get
burning to be

man from burning man oh my god no we r
like everyone is accepted and celebrated

fix ever this gather this guy was just
sort of a

sort of a do even realize I no actually
bring that is real life

awaited for I where the default world
right now

that’s the real world is this for seven
days a year I love sad for a 51

weeks a year you don’t exist in the real
world no

I any recording the sponsored podcast
then the

okay how does that work n gear little
%uh maids are rare

the fall world cost money I’m not at
fault for what happens in the default

okay the subjugated need in this life
needing this paper currency

you that links with in this is the
takedown

this is still to take any downturn means
I’ve read it with sponsored got guess

I that being said gonna get a loan any
to buy a car and a house or something

I your Toyota get good gas mileage

it’s certain that big they get over a
hundred fifty dollars for brawl services

I

bottle service if the IPL world sucks

so I’m beat I might try to get a try to
get a stripper to sit on my lap athletic

yeah

it it that’ll make you feel better about
the ID vault world for a couple minutes

said

when he was burning man see it I should
have gone I guess that is good to hear

this club

I should we try to squeeze in one last
question do you know about

less crazy or one last question hand

chant that never was face yeah it was
too many syllables yet

it worked in the world AG communally huh

she knows American I I’ll

who should be which we call this lady
Ginny Jenny

teeny Jenny rights I’m currently single
in considering starting a friends with

benefits situation with someone I’ve
hooked up with in the past

I’m not really worried it will get
emotional

however I am worried that having

somewhat regular sex with a friend will
keep me from finding my soulmate and

starting fresh

let’s see I meet mister Wright AKA Jake

is it rude to go on to read that is it
rude to go on a first date with someone

knowing you slept with someone else

a night or two before if I go on a date
and start to like the person

and I obliged to eventually tell them
that when we first started dating

I was sleeping with someone else should
I play it safe and avoid getting

physical with a friend

I love how much people over think the
sexy like the

friends with benefits thing yeah I I
think like friends with benefits is like

she’s supposed to it’s not supposed to
be a calculated things right you’re not

supposed to be rules

yeah I I don’t know in my life anytime
maybe

anyone even if they’re single I assume
they’re sleeping with someone

like yes people usually just but I think
that’s true

I think that may be true in your
universe really yeah I don’t think

everyone I always sleeping Cupid someone
else I think

I think it’s a compliance alike if you
go on a date with someone it feels like

home I wanna date this person

then don’t sleep with your other friend
anymore and so you figure out if you

like they would have definitely sleep
with your friend with benefits like

up until the night before you have
another date right there

that’s like what about the third their
fourth day I mean if if I started going

out with someone

I’m may not be I believe it let’s say
like

halo give yeah ok in the end up my
sleeves rolled up to a bus leaves all

together as a tired

it it should go to our to hear

in may be there a it actually is very
sparse

IQ tickets for you baby sport Morlock’s
the

I get other cities in America it

I oh wow yeah that looks like Brian then
is rather

goes smooth I lover ducky are you a
player is against the glass again

to your cell he I got the MCAT

it they say whether dirtier yes

I’ll are about to say oh wow way it was
a good it’s a pie

save me some money started to someone
else yeah it’s like me. for super

someone you weren’t expecting to date
anyone outs and then

when you meet the person that you
actually wanna date like doesn’t

like it doesn’t make a mean less that
like use up with someone before cuz you

just don’t know

but the question is how long can you
like shuffle how long like the intervals

it doesn’t matter

I like you you go on as a bronze with
mister aim and then you sleep with

someone else and he got another day

any sleep with that guy again I think
can you on a third ain’t sleep with

someone else for my

6 INS’s think if you think he’s if you
gonna first day in your like

osha he could be mister i’d then like
just don’t sleep with your friend until

you figure out if he is also so it’s so
subjective it’s like

just stop when you at the start to feel
guilty enough for many

you never have anything yeah to go on
one day

and then be like oh I’m not gonna sleep
with somebody else but how long should

it take you to feel guilty

I don’t know the right answer but like
the right address for letters ocean on a

capable a feeling by Aug

it says little is it I don’t think you
think a beloved because

she’s concerned enough that she’s
writing this email right now where

I mean she’s she’s concerned that he did
starting a friends with benefits

situation is he feels guilty

impair a hypothetical guy that she might
need but it’s normal to have like a

sexual partner had been like

meet somebody that you like more than
phase that other personnel year

I mean I think it’s also like it won’t
even necessarily be kill you might just

like

meet someone new and then you’re like 0
this really fun to sleep with you

I’m not gonna see whether right yeah so
that’s up to you

that happen anyway I’ll be so it to
somebody that like I was

interest in other person is not about
like feeling guilty like I

wish I could sleep with my friend but I
I don’t mess this up

but that’s the downside at a friends
with benefits situation at one point

someone’s gonna find someone else and
they’re gonna feel left out and then the

phasing out process begins yeah

that’s the hard part you that’s the risk
you know when you get into that my

friends with benefits and yes

that’s that’s the was the opposite to
the benefit a contest was downsized

friends friends of consequence so

friends with benefits with consequent
you can have a benefit without the

consequence yeah

you take the good and the bad your
friends with benefits is like sort of a

race to see who is going to get at her
for

I I love both enjoy this until I find
somebody and break your heart yeah if

I’d wanna break your heart go

I 50-50 joint submitted that an invite
anyone

yet down I for it make it

it so she shouldn’t you’re saying she’s
being

overly cautious because she’s matches
what about have a medical situation that

doesn’t exist yet

yeah exactly thank you just have fun
without feeling bad

have your have your friends with
benefits situation for now year

take the good with the bad yen just know
there’ll be consequences later but you

know they won’t be that big a deal

right do you have to I let us another
never a big deal

feast on a seven-year

oh my god it’s part of your daily
negative after me yeah

yeah i recognize their consequences
don’t matter and nothing bad ever

happens to you

I

as long as they don’t find out you
didn’t do anything right

if a tree falls in the woods on to me
and my a lady

never finds out that never happened
rejection is only rejection if I admit

it

I young man

I live in a little castle I built myself
I

only square in the default world I

transvestite hooker somewhere I so la
Sierra

adviser to your for years 50/50 yeah

are a good good show it said good show
said out so I’ll show they are you very

much Emily

give anything you wanna plug I’ll never
really introduced you

right we also should have um at some
point life before this asked you if you

wanted to plug anything so yeah

so is are we going to make love let’s
take your time and they were

edit it still sound like them like you
answered right now

okay but I and is there something and
sizing okay so I have let you know that

that that was a few weeks

I had two weeks later we can be written
a

I I have a TV show coming out MTV babe
don’t know the release date yet

okay it’s in November with results
called hey girl it’s mostly for young

adult ladies

I’ll that is that’s our wheelhouse and
guidar

that’s our song democrat Miami and Jenny
I can in Galle

Hey Girl turn any a call to an intimate
it forwards I messed it up

okay it will not thanks for coming on
the show Emily yeah

thing I me a oh you there’s a lot of
stuff we never mentioned

I like the fact that we still have a
live podcast taping and Brooklyn

November 6 at Littlefield you can still
get tickets to that

%uh if you’re in your own a difficult
place in your life and you want it our

advice

I you can email CNN if I were you show
at gmail dot com

tracked and you can listen to the show
if I were you show dot com

or sees the cheese dot com see that you
that can still work for that as well

on that first theme song oh yeah we also
get the in Sun submissions net first one

came from Jake

I yalla and this last one comes from

some dude named Matt Gilroy Matt Gilroy
thank you

the thanks guys and thanks for listening
thanks Emily thanks

for a while I don’t know I

okay beans

dignity

was a big hit list you I couldn’t easily
back to sleep

no one’s business acumen yet prosecution
a consequence

the if you want to get the team’s
expertise cartesian marbles from peace

you shall not constitute a cheese

for

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