Episode 33: Tinder Talk


In this episode Amir finally signs up for Tinder, then we discuss people’s Tinder related dilemmas. Tinder.

This BONUS Thursday episode is made possible thanks to LegalZoom: Online legal services, made easy! Check out LegalZoom.com and use either coupon code “Jake” or “Amir” for a discount.


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you she dreams

campaign years seen Angie

time band Dowland

the day

company me for you

the day




and I really show yet


yes yes absolutely yes best song ever

come have a beer that have the cover is
actually better than the original cat

this was about me

at and every song about me is rather
than is on it’s not about yours so vain

yeah I probably think that song is about
me I prolly other signs about me

that’s awesome though that it is dodi
after I’m into our covers that’s my new

thing at yeah that’s so yeah

anyway I was by to Juliet’s this comedy
improv group oh well

and in Toronto cool intron outsell hey
this is my

Drake well you would have her what

Drake that their drinks from and there
is the T dot a publisher

anyway is the fire you’re the only about
podcast on the internet hosted by us

on the mir and I’m Jake and is a special
episode are

what okay here because we’re getting
trying to get the truth will lead to

make a very smooth knows

earlier and Mary’s vessel as it has for

hey if the show this version yeah the
last 50 or special

that we’re only meeting with Amy now it
had better

yeah it’s not as though the other day at
9 a.m. unfortunately

I had those whiskey on your at high risk
you know me I didn’t really appreciated

you are high in God I

yet this is a nother one other Saturday
night pregaming drinking episodes is

pregaming dirty thing to say here no I
don’t I do nearly there that we pregame

by recording the podcast

and two a I’m going to bite the bullet
and download tender and do it

on this party has this is after
literally no convincing

I have a broad level 1 that the lies I
would like that on the bob cat

you know it was he was my friend Ethan
who emailed me that uses do it because

you’re leaving the Orks like a fun thing
to do and I like you know what

Jakes been pushing me for nine months
for this money emails the straw that

broke the camel’s think

I think the real thing the real thing
that can is used when we said we would

do it on the podcast yeah I know that
girl can’t ATA

cut into my podcast I don’t care about
policy you know what it is it’s

its it is that but it’s also like this
podcast is like

the wall that I have to build like oh
yeah I downloaded it but like I did it

as a joke or a show

okay anyway I still use AOL the other

yeah well I did try to beat somebody in
your sort of not being an asshole

know you should listen to the episode
well then I’m really excited though I

had I been valued

join tender for I don’t it since I did

but I’ll let you know when you had a
girlfriend yet I was actually a pretty

dick move you you were begging her I
will instrumental to break up

but sell we thought to be fine to do it

soup to nuts starting on the show I
haven’t even downloaded it yet I’m gonna

do that

right now yeah I can you work actually
wanna you download it well at least

explained it because I feel like there’s

ten to twenty percent of people who
don’t know still with tender as we talk

about it it’s still rare though that you
be listening to this podcast and still

no tenders are

as likable as direct download it and use
try to briefly explain it so I think

I’ve missed

tackling phone calls from alright
apparently given up on the way to value

year good editors already downloaded in
you have 30 matches actually

omit all your texts are between youth
even delivery guy you seem to be


simply food holy shit works a lot to

I got your dad’s here you are playing
video games with them I’ll Sunday

why are you not at this point I want my
phone back shout

as I got okay so but dinner I i download
it as a heterosexual male and it shows

he me

pictures are females in the area because
you know those are the people that like

to go out with

and it shows you I ladies in the age
range that you give

so what else a 24 to 30 and that match
up with the Blumenfeld

a rule well what’s the glove another
level rose how many ladies have are you

allowed to have slept with

I know at your age our rate but there is
that there is there for me love your age

divided by two plus seven

mine would be 20 to you said 20 to 30

and it shows me ladies within a certain
mile radius let s at the rate is 25

miles it shows me ladies in between

the A’s are trying to in 30 in my area
just has been their Facebook profile


and I can either swipe to the left which
means I don’t wanna meet you or swipe to

the right which means I do wanna meet

and if they the ladies are getting the
same pictures the geyser ladies are

getting pictures of guys and if

they swayed me to the right and I sent
them to the right then it means yes we

both said yes and they

it matches a digitally and we can start
a conversation now you’re under the

impression that

I will match with someone during the
course to this podcast

I think you will because I did you will
because I’m making your profile

I as is this is a this is the star
treatment that I’m getting his Jake

himself is gonna make my profile

here’s the 22 biggest worry is that I
have about matching with someone on


wine I think my my a up

strong suit isn’t my a pictures it’s my
personality and that really can’t really

come through in tender take purely a
physical thing

juror false I another that’s true but
you’re also complete cuter than you give

yourself credit for

thanks dude and I the you can show a lot
of personality in pictures I

residents your profile picture right now
which I’m considering leaving

up well i download the app yeah let’s
download it no gas

yeah I don’t buy the super fast sale is
the foreign holy shit is it that so was

the first screen as he for profile

no just pulled the last four profile
pictures out so according to tender you

I mean your profile looks um like this
right now

okay said jake has shown me a a profound
as my name

my age and then my last profile picture
which is like a silly picture

me with a magnifying glass up against my
face I miss my legs

unusually big giving that to get profile
picture a bad one it’s definitely a i

think is a good number two

hell yeah it’s like kinda creative it
your personality photos like I’m not

gonna lead off with a but I definitely
want like you’re making when I’m

actually thinking in like a a duty with

above that is definitely don’t think
that wouldn’t right now and I just try

to find

the most attractive picture of me yeah
okay fisher we’re doing something like

the most

interesting sometimes I won’t
necessarily see some in space but I’ll

be like

oh that person I went to Iceland that’s

I can talk to her about that I see just
like I give the little bits of personal

information that at least lets you start
a conversation so

exactly so here’s my second worry about

in terms of me not matching well I guess
I’ve two more

Kurt all of my concerns are matching

ever to you what if I match meet and
then she hates me

Cooper example my personality is subpar
and I’m sort of an anal loser

I what do I do I’m alone the rest of my
life I

that’s not related to dinners lunches
that is a I’m zooming out a bit and that

sort of seeing the macro

at that the landscape my life and I’m
not looking too happy about it

so deal with that on my 8h 30 a lot of

probably on tender are in their twenties
right they won’t see thirty-year-olds

are can are the only shown the people
that I have put

30-year old dudes in the age range there
only to show you P

people that you could match with so will
be people I think anyway

it will be pizza people you could
potentially match with okay

I’m started like I should just choose
pictures I should and be a little picky

right now

we think that I it’s not I guess I’m not
sure that

the picture view in Danny DeVito bumpy
and it shows that Ike

I wish I was die important enough let I

point in my life to me danny devito
exactly rights on at least as important

as rhea perlman was that one day

oo said how about this one well night
nevermind I

you how do you upload genic at all
actually yeah I’m actually starting to

reconsider this whole tendered I think
about it you aren’t you sort is sucked


I’ll my third concerns that a very
judgmental like not in a good way like

I’ll see people and I’ll judge them

us even if ladies are attractive I may
not so I can to the right

%uh to pre I think that’s the one I i’m
very judgmental Lovelady so maybe should

you buy something for me because there’s
going to be otter also attracted unlike

others grows it looks annoying

I this girl has an annoying bio I’m just
I don I’m very erotic in the regard over

choosing someone

right now you’re sorta like a you’re
sorta like a judgmental

piece a shit yeah are like in erotic but
whose sore loser

a in in many ways that’s pretty nerves
too many guys in a picture

I am also not acting in the mic right
now that’s really brownies crazy

executes a YouTube chosen the main photo
now you’re choosing since you get to

choose more than one photo

yet to choose up to you will 5 photos
total total so 1i photos toto

could one main photo have it would be
about this one in the

and a camel others like you yet I i’ve
been I will travel to see how that tells

a story

yes I don’t know it like tender so
superficial like

now from your profile picture you’ll be
like oh this guy’s clothes with his


his brother never to use got a good
sense of humor that’s the magnifying

glass over the mouth

and this weird picture where you’re like
looking very very serious

it take to the sky is sort of a will you
thought our i’m looking very serious

other show you in a second

like your thumb is over your mouth I
admit I remember that one

my brother take tougher to get high res
photo it shows that hey I know

I know people who are wealthy enough to
afford a digital SLR camera

there’s also this picture that we took
on said have you covered in blood

holding a cat what do you think about
that one

that may be good one for last one it’s
like at least sure the person with the

slate so they all these people think
that it’s like for a video shoot and I


naked holding a cat great that it’s done
so what about %ah see a tagline we r

we got a teenager tagline what is a
current ways it is it my profile live

right now

yeah note that a yes I think it might be
okay so people can see regardless averse

us working on the tagline right you’re
plugging swipe to the left

all pressure I so it shows my photo my
name my age and then

a tagline yeah and I like to be anything
online either you want to say

cents or like a tweet think it’d I gave
a given a tag line to my dear friend

a oh yeah which was a hey I’m Mark
Zuckerberg exclamation point no just


he did in the next two-year duration:
use it was i think is somebody else’s

see marty would do

it would be weird here as if that a tie
and then it comes out the photometry

people with this cheese Marty

yet today taller and better looking haha
way more answers so I don’t know funnier

when he said that some reason

did not even says it just has an
understanding that’s where the Marty

quote it’s got to be sarcastic

i think thats that’s the key but I’m
kind of a small deal

%uh that’s gonna mountainous other that
kinda it made them a at you like that

aru yeah like whole wheat thinks he’s
like a lot in that deal

um whatever

I am trust me I’m less jewish that I

oh there we go a pupil that attract a

double-checked use for sure I other

I can imagine yeah because it says my
name’s Amir that so it would that piss

people off

like other women you’re less like that’s
a bad thing though this is a JDate I

think it’s okay

I is this a really low on tender I
should Alan J tender actually

I can make my mom and your mom your moms
and wives that

I you my mom’s the others like to do I
really AM

lame joke the Jewish mother love Jay
tender I

I’ll Bali Jewish moms understood enough
about the internet to get what caps are

in jail that’s true

alright so now we’re gonna go to
Settings we’re setting it up to

desperation mode

headed to anyone any age range male or
female with in two hundred miles appear

oh you should I matched with that
61-year-old dude in philadelphia

I think I’m gonna go on a date with a
result they’ve been is a role in the

next tuesday

I I’m into it I’m really looking for a

the 24 to you 32 ashore

but the matter with your range

a 18 to 19 I

eighteen 18 a quarter I ranges

five-minute five-and-a-half to six and a
half of my rule is just

when I think my met up with the divided
by two plus seven

rate yeah anyone that I can’t legally
walk into a bar with I do wanna match

with an tender for 21 and over 21

21 to 29 did at Premier bills like if
they’re more than two years older than

me like looking for something serious

I see the yes like known as eliminating
that series and tender here

alright um we’re good to go the hour set

we’re pulling in to talk about the
before it starts wiping

actually talking about as we ask treated
to a question

I am let’s ask question and while we
answer to it either you or I can take

turns swallowing

before I was gonna this is number one
and discuss what this girl right now

return name is Rita she’s 24 incident as
the Spurs names s

I guess the name will holler well caller
are I

delay your shared you have one shared
interest on Facebook and its seamless

web it is 295 bounce

liked will have the have your first love
was not a match

I that kinda hurts over one blogger not

I’d if two matches someone I have to
imagine someone who is used tender in

the last like 30 seconds right

yeah will know I think yeah but I think
also when you join

you’re like your pictures thrown up onto
the the top of the pile for a lot of


to incentivize you’d match people yet I
keep you addicted to the app

so it says you shared interests and get
your shared interest and their age

you like quote JK me on Facebook add

quote I really like your page I yeah I
am interested have you ever had

I’ve ever seen a girl who’s shared
interest was taken in the air yeah

and your site or the right I’m only once

and it was a match right did not match
so this girl likes

our web series saw you and then swipe to
the left

or maybe I left that her area which is
what I like to leave I

no you didn’t you didn’t actually very I
was yet there is still very much

in her area alright see you I never you
want to read a question and go back to


I think so yeah again i phone back for a
second um

they’ll likely not you can’t a good
can’t bring yourself to stuff so i think

is the problem

that is my problem in life I ready

room question these are all tenor bass
questions this is

are tender themed episode this is like
the most publicity we’ve ever given


and it’s for absolute free religion
email them and ask about sponsoring

a already yup a dude so there’s this
girl been dating on and off for about a

year now

she’s great and like my best friend but
her and I have been fighting a lot

lately and it’s making me have second

last night I was on tender swiping away
when I see this girl

she looks familiar so I going to her
profile and I realize it’s a girl I know

from years ago

I Swiper to the right and I immediately
we are a match

we start texting I realize that would I
have everything in common with her

it’s making me think that I should date
this new girl but I’m not sure I should

knowing how bad it would cross the first
girl any advice would be greatly

appreciated thanks

this dude’s name we did not come up with
a theme

yeah at the Miss tender everybody’s name
is tender I call this guy is so we’ll

its ok %uh was adorable how

stupidity is because he’s like should I
cheat on my girl friend or not

well never wanted done that your main
reason for not wanting to

be with someone else’s because it would
hurt your girlfriends feelings right

that’s that’s the worst if it’s bad then
you should just break up with their

right cuz I think nothing would hurt her
feelings more than finding out your

with her at a pity I don’t want any but

started a right now and yeah I’m so I B
mayer talking this goes kinda babe what

do you think

oh yes definitely thanks did

appreciate it you like their she’s in
the fall

great I so I mean right off the bat
break up with their

right I as you are only with their

and he’s on tender yet you downloaded
tender so that the first nine you have

to break up with their

yeah and then also you’re saying that
were also

just really quick the girl that you
matched with is not the wind you didn’t

known find their soulmate on tender and
you only think she’s your so maybe cuz

you’ve been like cuz you what how did
your relationship so bad that

everybody is perfect right so this guy
would take anybody

yeah just unhappy in it you’re just
unhappy in a relationship it’s rare that

is like phrasing this is a tender
question but like basically like

I like another girl should I go after
her knowing although I don’t want to

break my other girls heart so a

I guess my separate theory is that maybe
I can just grow old with the girl that

I’m currently within always go to regret

so I would bare bones at this whole
entire thing is you

just don’t like your girlfriend it has
nothing to do with like you liking

another girl

you did you know how do you like some
affair with somebody that you’re meant

to be with

you just don’t want to be with your
girlfriend somebody else’s like shiny

and new

definitely don’t breakup and go right
into another relationship that’s never a

good thing

should he even be on tinder that’s not
okay right

which is that not OK oh yeah definitely
that bad mean

like going on to do while you’re in a
relationship is like basically admitted

for grounds for termination ever

your girlfriend she dumped you for what
you’ve done

up I’m I am I reach my first

tinder milestone I love I a girl that is
not necessarily my tech physically but

she has a great

a bio miss it and so I’m thinking of
Sabrina based on the bio

see this is why bows are important
biology at this girls

that the kids a cute little selfish as
the official the dog I

fuck yeah you on a Swiper actually so
this is important like

her pictures are killer alright she’s
got herself in a

in a god damn vineyard yeah so that’s
cool I know she wears a dress in a

vineyard yeah I like

I wanna be parted this life I number two

she’s clearly at a party so this girl

adventure going on like a vacation which
is also down to rage

I wanted you to rage face yeah I want to
be part of her life yup

a man %uh number two you guess watches
near a pond with your mom

I so yes is close to her family the
family woman that is it that is

important not only in a

and her mom’s got em smoke show really
part number: to cheer among other top

bottom i ka

a hot bod remarking get it I would love
to at least like her mother

and there we go she’s walking down the
beach shoes in her hand she is cool

she’s ready to get her

be in as their shoes enhance you want to
be in the stands so you know what I’m


keeps keeps wiping while we describe a
for any ladies who are out there on


what would you think the some tips for

your shared like with a lot of people is
seamless there’s like 10 a deal

I they like to get 20 percent off if you
like us on Facebook feel

maybe sir maybe I was just feeling very
ago liking a seamless I mean

tumors is a food ordering all Man City
owed do just girls fucking cue

other to continue my cell for this one
hell yeah

this girl is fuckin hot she’s is due to
leave a second

oh my god she’s the one your boat hard
right now

alright so you’re not up better than
dick you get a lot over the table

but here that’s only really encouraging
about this girl

second picture she has her arm around
some guy and he looks

exactly like you %uh so you know that

diana is kinda like a nerdy dude looking
guy but it doesn’t

I don’t know it some ago that’s her
brother not her not her ex boyfriend or

something scheck’s love dudes that make
it seem like they’re kissing her brother


lookers goes pictures they’re so fucking
cute that’s a silly get picture

yeah yet it’s likely I’ll look at the
other ones they’re all good

they’re all like that did I air Center

their sense of humor comes through in
the air the photos

see so too does not a shell as people
make it seem other like

it a lot of times as active a day ago
like that Sir takes away the suspense

serve if I Swiper will become an that
right away

nicely not because she hasnt you know I
think we should it lets do your phone

a the year I made another major surgery
is just a little bit wider

excuse me I’m sorry I have ages I got

apparent why you wanna see it like that
girl I

yeah I it is it is very oddly addicting
right you’re just like

you don’t realize that you’re like
judging a father’s daughter

you just realize that you’re saying ol I
popular vote to occur

I but I’m not saying I’m not even
thinking about boning I’m thinking about

how uncomfortable or

comfortable I would be inviting her a

yeah you should start thinking about
boning that a little earlier by a little

bit because I know you’ll see a girl
like oh I wanna

like introduce my mom and dad don’t like
oh and I have to do that what I want to

bend the school over in a bathroom bar

and there’s like most the time yen match
learners look to the left and I think

about that I

because hey everyone has a vagina and
more or less they all look the same to


especially when there are facing the
other way I’ll have a look at the back

of the shirt

bed the difference between mean you it’s
time to cool

yes I you are wearing a black wife
beater right now that the pair Italian

it’s there to the Saturday before

what is up so coming out Thursday
thursday saw hollowing day

following out perfect the Halloween
episode on Thursday I’ll be going out


but so I i this for my halloween costume
which is what

sexy cat I great question sexy cat

your and what’s yours ass I in China
been at Flanders that the mustache I got

is more gay Hitler some a little bit
worried about that

it is just dark dark dark in pencil then
hear something I’m doing discuss web to

the right a bunch

I use one minute but then then I will
and that the creek that the values

that it devalues the match yeah that’s
you you don’t imagine someone who you’re

not excited to matter the right you

tissue true I you truman

min you trudeau I’m truman

I’m harry truman I think that’s the that
the nearby I’ll

I but in my bio again I really forget
I’m lester’s then I’ll

I hmm that is funny yeah haha that’s

ahead this girl likes homeland to buy it
now I sorry enough about this year

inches shit man really are you sure you
want to change your interest

separate at you well i home when is good

visits visit organized by Sh like is a
completely random the stream the ladies

that show I

I read no idea whether algorithm is I
would love to know

I really would you know didn’t occurs

tenders owned by the company that owns
College Humor right so we said that we

can maybe get the

at tender CEO or whatever higher up
their tender

I emailed them and he is based there
based in LA

he swiped a removable adhesive hot in
they’re based in LA

but he said he’d be down so maybe one
route there

once we move its game over actually
really game over

you’re just late your being very liberal

this I you’re not going to get a match

because who’s on tender saturday netted
8 p.m.

isère 9:30 p.m. right all these people
are active a day ago sadly

I am should be read another question
yeah iPhone back

yea or you can read it okay it’s the
second email from the bottom

course started from the bottom an hour
the second from the bottom so not that

far away actually

alright hey jina a local people ’cause

webpage A&A thanks to this podcast those
cover the awesome tender at and even


I think I found a perfect match in fact
she so perfect that she also heard about

tender from this podcast

she’s funny cute doesn’t freak out lies
taste up like I’ll shoot myself in a


haha anyway was bothering me is that
we’ve been chatting for two days

and site anyways with other and so is it
a reaction to that I’ll catch you

I’m also left your phone up hired to see
a talking horse gram to the maker haha


so it bother him is anyways was
bothering me is that we’ve been chatting

for two days

how but now today’s only now with

that then structure power Islami for her

anyways was bothering me is that we’ve
been chatting for two days only and we

already developed a close relationship

at first I was happy Pakistan but then I
realized how easy it was for me to win


now just like a mirror I like a girl who
hasn’t tasted too many cocks before mine

to now pray that you might actually turn
out to be a slut she even told me the

back in high school she was robbed the
Decca whatever made during geography

class just really excited

I’ll be so mad if I get ditch by this
dick bitch for another guy

in a week or something how do I how how
do you think I should approach ur

to take her seriously thanks tender for
some all

the I don’t like that he blames me n
because that’s not my theory at all like

idea I’d not don’t necessarily like a
girl that’s like

easy to access to retain the like a bomb
on tender I wouldn’t

that sorta everybody is there to hook up
so wouldn’t like

judge them in that regard cell all you
did make my day that was so that was a

pretty a

a rare occurrence that he’s gonna you
download a tender

met someone that downloaded the app like
that it’s immediate close connection yet

the fact that they both listen to the
podcast yet

and rubbing someone’s dick doesn’t make
her a slut by minute

but adding that make sure really prude
girl because she’s only touched one

dick at the high school and that was
writing to her she rubs a dick

and now is exciting okay I i’m looking
for. goes there like rubber dick in a

in April 8 a.m. clip their nails or
something i

that our normal it is for them I’ve been
rubbing dick since age 13 trust me it’s

no big deal to me

I use a banana always did the icy are
being very very liberal with the left

right left right now I just nope

jus nope somebody all these girls just
she’s cute she’s hiding after face

I so that sort of the ironic or

paradoxical problem that is but meeting
a girl and she’s super into it right

away if you’re like wait a minute

maybe she’s super into everything right
away be can have it both ways you can


take a girl home fairly easily and then
be like

I only want her to be able to take me
home very easily like odds are she goes

home with

may be more than just you and that sort
is something you have to get used to if

you want someone who’s

very a like takes take their time

whether be a boy or a girl I if you want
some they take their time you have to be

able to put their time in

and otherwise if if you’re looking for a
lady who’s very easy a guy who is very


then odds are that lady our guys very
easy with more people than just you

yet and but it also does not fair you
don’t know where yet

you guys got a close relationship on
tenders that she did fuck you that

doesn’t mean that she’s easy

year yeah he’s also like jumping two way
way way conclude right

if anything after you have delusions of
grandeur which is like oh man yeah we

connected really quick and tender so
should I saw says

there’s a chance you just read a project
you she met you

as CNN would reject you if she saw that
email which she’s going to go

wise adjani a 34-year-old here under
swiping right now

and as if its slips through the cracks
yes why Brett

see what happens I did with the to the
cracks because it was a match

really an out but they re a

but she’s she’s only been active two
hours ago have your swype someone to the

left to right just because I’m a name

no well this goes kinda a big deal with
an M

I don’t see any I feel weird reader
there’s an exit

with it well hello mama

I see I don’t I don’t feel hello mamas

I’m maybe 10 years not for me that’s not

I guess I feel it but I don’t say hello
mama yet with like them

when you like want somebody are you like
oh man I wanna you didn’t do you never

feel like I wanna fuck that person


I guess like animalistic attraction to

I do have school as a kid John fucker

see I do I know you don’t really think a
I’m like

well I would be fun to you hang out with
her and seeing what is the place we

settle on

really she’s not a piece a shit because
honestly don’t talk about her like

I share diluted to my baby future
dentures Hoodie Allen

oh that’s cyber but it has acted six
hours ago just wipe it anyway to

I’ll swipe a slight relax others go can
only text their Schneider

well with a second it’s every night it
doesn’t she look so much like there’s


that’s weird Wow that Sarah

how dare you you have a boyfriend you
change your name to Jenny your 23 years

old I think how dare you

I absolutely I am

where we on this guy I

you really get lost in this that yet
that’s one of them this is why I like

this web in like not affected as a ready
partner for last year

I so we have a in the new episode and
this is why like sometimes will be on

the couch you like there’s something I
was not looking at you are listening

it because you like judging judging yet
what subway L

years yeah I have messages any idea old
man I have to respond to these messages

are geez

and then it’s fine arcade it’s fun it’s
weird because I’ll

sometimes I like the name but I don’t
like the person today still Swiper to

the right just the name

yeah you say so it like the name is
Mackenzie is cute so you’re a celebrity

the right because you wanna say hi
became the ER

any are Lucy or something others and
that’s what this I

with you never have animalistic I wanna
fuck you

I I don’t know if my brain jumps to that
right away

I think like electrodes pretty clear not
a sexual no I’m not a sexual

but I don’t think it’s like at the
forefront in my brain when I meet people

you’re not a sexual and a I and II have
sexual sexual

the area that’s what I am I do the

another cute lady whose share mission it
is seamless web

I was there like consumers I will go

others girls run a marathon there you go
which I have not heard on my bank no

maybe are that you like on the nose like
a lick bragging

both pretty cool I it’s cool as much
like that the is

you to look something like the marathon
photo you’ll be a lot of people who are


who are in a swipe %um be like pay I run
to you

and I’m a nice girl that was a at five
years ago and that’s how I am with

I had is have a climbing photo in there
and I haven’t climbed in like

eight months I feel bad being late well
actually that’s a that’s a good

segue into another question we get this
one comes from tender actually

I he writes hey dudes I’m an 18 year-old
male in high school who decided to join

tinder couple days ago and I just have a
couple questions about how to use this

gift from God

10 then is that I have gained some
weight since the last photo I posted on

Facebook not that much around 10 pounds

and i was wonder if I should put new
photos on Facebook or just leave the

ones I have right now

and lose the weight these are the only
two options that are available any of

any advice would help maybe even some
weight loss tips many thanks

tender cut out carbs be the man in your
photo be then you’d rather be

you have what are we gonna suggest up
putting a fat photo love you up rather

than you losing way here’s the mature
some inspirational advice put the photos

aren’t into that you want people to see
that the man you want that the person

that you want to track the people

and then you become the guy in your
photos I see

you can’t do that man try what my phone
doesn’t interact

maybe I’ll see you now I want because
I’m a I’m a

yeses dude looking for checks are a way
you can see me

trust me actually unless you’re made by
something well you just came up

no absolutely not I absolutely not

actually I that lets the let’s just
answer questions for the next

10 minutes let let your swipes sink in

you think so yeah how many swipes should
be done easily a thousand I give you a

thousand now

I cheese is easily at 1000

it’s a never-ending stream right yeah I
mean in New York

I remember when I downloaded in Seattle
fury swipes

all dirty and it’s I just saw I swiped

I yeah I ruined it I downloaded tender

Iceland and I head-on

there is eight people or something like
that in all a break you vic

and I swept them all they were gone and
there is nothing and I never

I would just like look every single day
and like some that there was just a new

person sir like

one day but all got she Jersey judge us
joint or something

I slept on the left it’s like no new
batch is no one around

arnelle here all your come back to the

0 okay I found a lady his

was active eight minutes ago there you
go should you

I she’s she’s attractive but not
necessarily right for me

so brother this is another

now I didn’t match god damn it dude I

ask either accidentally swiped someone
to the lefty I will make a Mac

yeah at the government’s it but they
only like that person again

yeah it is like I done it a couple times

swipe to the left too quick and it’s
just like that was the one

she was my soulmate with I deleted the
app after her

that’s actually are you that’s their own
movie writing about the one that got


the one that’s why do it upon that’s
right to left I

oh my gosh mercy by Mercy

I am do we get this guy advice yet lose
the way

i dont carbs that’ll do it you’re
drinking alcohol is no

node no sweet drinks I no carbs

I wasn’t easy for you to say because
you’ve also probably gain 10 pounds in

the last

a X amount of months how dare you right
I mean aren’t you

are you the fattest you’ve been for a a
good amount of time right now yeah I’m

the fattest I’ve been awhile

however not cite a girl because she’s at
her at a purely know that you are now


no this goes a god damned diane was that
girl I there is that girl

but scholar tender the ice webster

I could relate I like she was so hot
that I screech I’ll while the girls


I mean she’s like a sack to swipe a jew
I’ll a loser do actually

as like you’re just in case but she
hasn’t been online in like 7-8

there the hot ones never have been
happen because they don’t need it

yeah about how s that I just go out and
meet the hottest guys

regularly why would you ever oh my god
just like you must be so exhausting

just dodging dodging guys all the time I

word with your blogger likes I
screenshot it there

while I was just looking at her she was
so hot and then

I obviously didn’t match literally three
months go by

and I got an alert that was like you you
in Sellersville matched

and I looked through pictures and it was
her and I was like to be my mind I like

screenshot I told

everybody I told so many people and

I wrote hey and Ed nothing for a day and
then she wrote back

a really long message and ask me a
question has like holy shit

is this for real and I realized that I
wrote her back as your question

I heard back the next day I was so
excited and I wrote a back again

and then she just like nothing now it I

nothing ever again he was gone for a
week and I was every single day I was

like my phone be like digi digi
responded to do anything no never

and Biolage ep rosenberg was like just
issues messenger BIG let’s get a drink

they have nothing to lose he added a way
it’s over

so by a message I like hell to get a
drink nothing

why does the end well that actually
takes me to a question we didn’t receive

over the

email but a question that I received

text messages which was I

but the star treatment we’ve yeah enough
questions yet here’s number you get


will call my friend J and chai happy J
rates to me

a specific attacks i’ma he said

lower hours like but we got a question
about how a guy match for the girl and

she didn’t

text him back and he’s like that I
understand the real question is

what happened why is it when a girl
matches the view

response to your message things are
going well and then she just

disappears yeah that’s up does that
happen to you

it happen with this truck in smoke good

just conversation are you match which
means you both find yourself attractive

enough to at least wipe each other one
direction very quickly

right and then you start a conversation
she responds

and one day just stop study a lot of
things I think you could be like

her meeting somebody else you know maybe
have real life for maybe also on

tender like she must have a ton and I
mean your girl

thats attractive to thank you get
matched every single time you swipe

someone to the right right because their
son was a prior look in eighty to ninety


swipe rate RIA and whenever they swipe
to the right it’s obviously someone who

is already swiped them to the right

yeah and like I do I have a fucking I
have a really tight inner game i’ma

beast and

I really ever be there must have been
somebody out there who ran a tight game

to me like he got back together with her
axe ur

maybe she got hit by a bus which I’m
hoping is what happened

I but lately I think there’s a million
reasons and also it I’ve definitely

start talking to girls I’m just like you
know what

I can already tell we would buy there
was a good remember that girl that was


I invited her out and she was like upset
that I invited her to a group thing

an issue they gonna come and I yeah this
where we are just like who is

with you like are there any girls and I
was like yeah

there are some girls here they are
friends and shoe

energy like now like girls can be
bitches and I like it sounds like you


are the bitches yeah but my friends are

nobody would be mean to you you meanie

but like if just put me off so much that
she be like

I’d now like girls are such bitches I’m
not gonna come out meet your friends

I guess like in retrospect I was invited
her to a group A instead of taking your

happily that your tender is

and i’d like take so much coffee it’s
like it’s not its not OK Cupid

now other here’s a

your your your your preferences to
invite people out to a group A if they

were to meet one-on-one right yeah I
hate me one-on-one

because there’s too much pressure it’s
just not as fun like I like that I we

want the home court advantage

why would go out with I is that we want
to hurt I

in yeah what I’m good at it I am I i
used to do the thing with a rosary this

is summer unsolicited advice for anybody
out there dating

a stead we called it court date

I like that poor today that spicy

tonight it would turn into a double date
so I go out with someone and IBA hey I’m

gonna go do with the white hotel

and I would go show up with my date so
low and then David Kahn happy hour later

and I V I 0 has my friend Dave what are
you doing here man and I we

yeah and I’ve yet to be an adult they
actually do is is a

sneakily force a girl that he didn’t
want to double date

into a double date exactly because then
it’s like it’s more fun I don’t miss and

I hang out with my buddies

I because you want to have the group
hang and then also

the babying I wanna have my cake and
fuck it

I which was the cake Dave

I’m K I I they’re like tinder

I mean you you’ve used it for so long
you pry like start noticing formulas


a girl who sorta looks attractive in her
profile picture but it’s like

a exterior shot her like a faraway shot
you like hell I know that

she’s only doing this to hide something
I like later on like

is there anything like that that you
noticed I like your you were talking

about girls because Jakes

jackson-lee scene girls but I’m sure
guys do this to right I mean what I

specifically do I mean everybody puts up
their best photos per share

yeah know what was up their worst photo
that he should have to deal with

somebody else it up to choose your worse
for to

regular anyone can look ugly it’s just
like and anyone can look attractive

yet as I think you just I and I don’t
know but you can’t you can’t tell what

somebody’s unattractive

or when somebody trying to hide
something I can also at this point I can

tell I’m in a match that one

i lol yeah how analyzed as gotta feeling
and how often a wrong that feeling never

what know that’s why I’m I mean rock
sometimes but I’ll

like I think I swipes so much that like
I don’t even match when I swipe anymore

I only get alerts that are like

so though has matched you us you’re like
me you’re raising out ahead in the field

yes so far ahead at the other there’s
like notta lotta girls left

yard for me I bet I can swipe all New
York before I go

that use as your goal well what’s your
mile radius City occurs in New York is

very concentrated

your new york I do I battle between four
and five

are really yet so that’s like

design even get to know what’s at hand
would want it now I don’t like men and

kids don’t want me

what I was like I’m broken all I

exam I think cell huh

alright I really a really do your city
funds or on a road trip

and life coach a swipe in swipe in

but isn’t that also a ring around the
same problem like

we’re not gonna be and places long
enough for

no I think people like until you’re so
is still like not

the stakes are very high not to be like
no one’s looking for the actual so may I

was looking for fun so you’re like hey
I’m just here for

place a lot of it was by as in New York
actually I like

NYC for the weekend right now to be at
that their tagline

I guess that’s nice have you ever slept
a girl to the right so hard that your

phone broke

I all like I swipe to the right so hard
that crash the app once I really had the

I slept so hard

eyes you’ll swyto hardball parts won’t
find me

that shit cray yes it n I alleged tender

you I do want a government me for a
while I feel like I’m being to use your


I mean you’re you I’ve lost you you’re

I’m not even going out tonight anyway
right why would I we had planned of the

digital ladies I need right here

I can see the reflection of them in your
glasses I sad is that they just imagine

you here

alone an hour after it recorded a
podcast getting cleaned up well

I you said there’s nothing shameful that
tender would use in public

and probably not there’s nothing
shameful about being on it but I think

there’s something a little shameful
about like

actively seeking ladies on digital
worlds in just like while you’re doing

something I mean

I feel like I’ve been somewhere where
was totally normal to like

look at it in your message you know just
waiting in line somewhere

like that little flame goes up in my car
got it should that’s why I actually had

an idea for an app

zev cuba into their I an idea for an app
that just makes it look like

it so it just makes it look like the New
York Times News Feed when I’m on tender

that’s what it should be I launch the
app if it and I the area and it looks

like a cross word

that’s funny as a city an

I rather we have time for one more call
you said I could take over and then use

you’d never have enough power to the
military that your life I hear you to

take over for me

and then you


rapid right so I I where I think we
should keep on playing next time we on

the podcast will talk about the matches

a cat scan I am I here we go

a dude so I went on my first tender date
last night this girls very pretty and

fun but it’s something that kinda rubbed
me the wrong way she invited to her

girlfriends out the scope out the date

she doesn’t know that I knew they were
there but I recognize him from the pics

she sent me

try not go out with her again because at

that is super creepy that’s a weird I
would go out there again

the navy that’s maybe she’s just been
like to te right like maybe she has a

good bad

a because a lot of girls like I’ve heard
of girls doing like

have got a day with some guy text me

in the middle and if it’s not going well
say it’s an emergency

rail I think that doesn’t speak
negatively on him in it it speaks

negatively on dudes in like I don’t
blame her because a lot of dudes are


yeah but like to invite your friends to
the bar that screw I think that’s


but maybe she’s like a blue chip she
fuckin did she ask people to spy

it’s not okay I that espionage it’s
actually a treason and yeah

through the trigger on the USA I think
viewers than Julian assigned actually

had she’s a regular got the immigrant
event started I think I

so there’s like can’t other word I just
pretend the stutter and it sounds like

it is advised against unsolicited advice
if you ever need to lay sound smart you

dislike stutter

oh yeah LA’s get anything with the word
Edward snowed in

it’s getting its advice to sound smart
from the lashes godzilla Abdullah

Edward started like it sound like you
know the entire time %um you totally


I by the what really it was really
happening is that you don’t know you’re

going to the mental rolodex if your mind
but what if you never get there

this is a god damn rather than a little
adults both the I we like I got there I

I had no user lapping like I can’t
finish the judge you yet though

hidden you obviously know who is whose
go kill

know her unless they are not being in
the Mac this girl cute though hand

well let it be you may be due before

as they go on how to do it I want a guy
we get pizza hand I am A

what so I can understand your

I want to get pizza looming wait what
and whether you want to get ahead

forget pp the Han Han now I

it was like a mom was like bullied at
are cool to your words

I’m I said that I want to get pizza

call rape homegirl water is a good

absolutely pizza that’s the date again

in I am hope my god this girl ta ta

are ya yeah another you ever leave hmm

a who I would love to motorboat

this this broad there should be a tender
just for buyers so like

it that’ll be my time to shine like just
based on buyers

that I would dominate that tender I feel
like that’s really nice

yeah like I don’t enter BIOS and
isometric don’t see how you can do as

you dominate another 1i advantages over
the restive a

trip humankind is that I’m normal and
most guys are not

right and I feel like that’s hard to get
across and it in your profile

the day is once went what we meet mean
you are both a great cause you’re funny

and like anything anytime it ever met a
girl from today she is like

oh my god I’m so happy you’re so normal
yet which is crazy ninety-five percent

of dudes you wouldn’t want to hang out
with them

it’s hard to meet up with people but
once you do all you have to do is not be

a fucking weirdo

and it it’s crazy works every single
time I have never

ever ever not it happen I

with someone who has being lied to not
been happy with cells I have never ever

not fuck

I got episode 32 or whatever this is one
like it is I finally got

shower I hambre I’m gonna put my foot
down I think I’m being cool

I lead an hour then and now I’m a happy
that’s what it is

I get my phone back are you done to know
you wanted to do more

I think more like you said they wish
away give it a couple days

we planted the seeds or see if any
tinder end at 10 relishes grow

I really think I really think it’s going
to happen I wanna I why you go on

here’s why what happened before with New
York I won’t have one

a show where we talk about your matches
and like the messages but I don’t like a

lovely anybody you be

helped yeah I’d like to be by your
dating podcasts are then we talked about


i sorry wanna leave it at that we did
our little piece know you well on your

way to one little follow-up not there

alright just just have conversation the
other day I want you to for me I want

you to go out

on a date on Saturday but that’s history
that’s a separate podcast that only

listen to it

I me recording the recap I’ll so I’m
gonna start another tender podcast

just straight-up tender dock to dock we
do get a lot of questions such an attack

me I was coming this fall I we want to
give some shout out are we didn’t say

what email with the email addresses

or what the show’s about this little
real like hell bent on getting laid on


I hope this isn’t the first episode some
was listening to hear them i think is

the big problem is they liked

and if you’re on tinder to that
everything goes to shit

right now I you have it all together and
I’m trying to get laid all the time

yeah and view searches by using tender

yeah everything is going to fall by the
wayside he really give it a couple days

I’ll just let target I’ll get off

while you’re on and I think that’s the
only thing is the solid not allow your

have been the other way round to do that
for you

to the way this show usually works is
that we get a advice we get people to

email us and from a

they were there in a difficult place to
live and they don’t really know what to

do in the end they

they’re seeking our advice and we try to
offer to them and you find yourself in a

difficult place in your life

and you made it this far in the podcast
then you obviously find as entertaining

enough to listen to her

49 minutes but report in a minute now I
think it’s been over forty nets been

closer to 50 minutes god damn

I check out are you can email us

at if I review show at gmail dot com yes

if I reach show not every episode is us

drinking ready to go out trying to meet

although usually it’s Jake that city’s
Jake spry

modus operandi I had their you um but on

so yeah email us if you find yourself in
a dark place you like the way you want

our help to guide you out

and we are giving still shutouts to
people who leave us your views on iTunes

because it really helps out I think you
are a 10

daily Marant I summers Lynn skins nine
in Lillian to Gaza

you think they’re on tender probably yes

and I swept their iTunes review to the
right actually

as a thanks guys and thanks for
listening this has been a

silly different episode be you know it
it’s a bonus Thursday up so let’s go

wacky everyone drying off Bell

up your upset they didn’t match and I’m
not a single got them at all know that

there are a few hours that on Saturday I
will match

ass he should be able to organize our
ladies by when the last time the used

tender I say that all the time actually
wrote in I

others like I suggest third suggestion
box they aren’t in your that’s what I

did when I like only showing people have
been active in the last xx that doesn’t

show it like

what satellite gonna fuck not get into
it this is this is the tender episode

jerry people have been active for like a
month and it’s like here

I’m not a match with this person why
show them to me don’t delay it really

are probably having

use the probably done using the app yeah
or what about

can I recommend this as a as a thing no

group or dual photos in the topic
churchill and have no value jobs enhance

insane how dare you the now

I was the nasdaq II library at now

peanut but me are no actually I could

what do I am its back you’re absolutely
start let’s go for you feel it

%uh that first as long as from to Juliet
who said that his last out your line is

to the it’s another sitcom ask

theme 21 actions and other because it’s
our first one but it’s from a guy named

Blake Blake the thanks guys and thanks
for listening will be back on Monday

peace find me on tinder help please


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