Episode 36: Snail Trail (Live at Littlefield!)


In this episode we discuss suspicious hair, suspicious lovers, and suspicious smells. Recorded in front of a live studio audience at Littlefield bar in Brooklyn, NY!

This episode is brought to you by TouchOfModern.com – cool modern products to upgrade your home,


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love %uh the volume

Jamie and only here Ste

the on

toda job maybeee totara Bob

this reminds me we’re going to the
entire shown here is a gate is that

jazz and Akili into the acid on Eivissa

I was gonna say this reminds me of my
apartment right at the same

as that al Qaeda yeah but instead a the

nothing there’s two hundred people right
I’ll how exciting

thank you guys thank you for coming out

that somebody coming from Boston

Wow for just for this holy shit

you fucked up I I wouldn’t even go to
Boston for this

I to send Jake in on our special guest
host or something

did you know we’re going to Boston sigh

dollar baller move

how is the drive that

is i fat the legal Surya officer

IRS this is a bad thing I think he did a
140 the entire time

absolutely it’s a 250-mile drive-in

what do you say two and a half hours you
carry on a helicopter

police said it’s Kobe Bryant cell who’s

at the background of our podcast for a
long time yeah

i’d like oh he was backstage appears
that come on man I’m Kobe

now you shy wow why you gotta respect

tenacity yeah an ally the audacity for
such things as they happen

I am somebody came here from Israel

in two and a half hours the last I see
teleported wat somebody to say I’m

I’m tryna like turn this into an
experience that people honk and enjoy

ourselves somebody in the crowd yelled I
came here from Israel

and she has to stand up in

then if you’re actually from Israel you
would have cut to the front of the line

got the first row seats auto

I don’t trust me they are actually from
Israel where an israeli from

FL can’t adopt

IMEI Florida as

can Jan

and then I meet gathered

low I take those three words in hebrew

honey which means me love which means no
no no

and 10 can not a

third I got it would also at Sabha some

I miss the Coens kisses that could
happen let’s start the show

I her up for those you don’t know I’ll

this is if I were you the only advice
podcast on the internet hosted by us

and I’m here and I’m tage and its up

nobody here has never heard the show
before right

as as anybody never heard an episode
like they were Jack by a friend

old Wow so a lot of people

damnit rates we really wanted you guys
to bring people that were familiar

you so you guys wanna help never heard a

I how how out

I could’ve at least I i dialects got
there like at least five minutes but on

the way over there but if you do that

you have no idea who I am corrupt scroll
through five minutes that would be


yeah effective method to taking
something in

what do you know about effective methods
asahara our

on a low blow but so it works is we

the we accept emails I love people in

you know difficult situations people
having problems people you know


conundrums the view absolutely where I

today about this board Vice and we

think it’s our civic duty to you you
know give them advice

yeah it is our civic duty which is why I
don’t go to jury duty yeah because I’ve

already done a civic duty

right-winger outstanding members that
society in fact I have diplomatic

immunity I think run this if he does it

I Parken completely unattainable legal
spot to be a larger car crossed to

handicap spaces right

yeah that’s as you shouldn’t do that
because I’ve done my civic duty

your honor right I saw you urinating on
the door to an orphanage yeah

once they have earned that right through
this if it did not arrive

anyone should want to are I can you have
that right exercising is just being I

exercising is never mean guys exercise
you have to look

you don’t turn it into a positive thing
that you said card

%uh gas well thank you for littlefield
for having us this is an exciting time

as they’re basically our first live

right only did at comic-con was seeps
absolute bullshit Aligarh

I don’t know but if you’re there but it
was garbage us I love you were there

with anyone there could

yeah is our

his I was at comic-con not your podcast
I will say Comicon was posted though

a I was getting Thor’s autographed the
entire time

i right sure we get started yeah I
haven’t touched USD they’ll

that I’d say it’s good it’s good it’s
good to do I get

the Los case that you like it I do it is
like maple syrup

tears salope

to the lips and then with the swallowing
I absolutely tulips

after they got em absolutely

well as the Lazio I does kiss the cup
that was the joke there

I as a visual a visual and now to

a in butter as it were added were

and below the living at home I just took
this shot do not give us a call

have done a good idea I’m drug now I

took it like a man I have hair on my
chest more than that more than 900

Holman and kissed her on the lips

stereo I hear you’re ready in

yeah in

the in

I will you be done to you

see you this tote up I

rob a alright yeah okay get

said up pal so I just hurry

the quest is right I yeah

is like a haha yeah

alright yeah

you know what was the theme for this who
were the names that’s a good question

we do like Brooklyn Nets players concern
brought with you people in the audience

up someone give me a name the first line
with Eric

ararat you know what you’re about 20 way
faster as I would be about that Eric was

on how came you are using a regatta I

Eric came here was gonna shower they
have no matter what well after not

that they were today’s people named
Aaron I so I Eric

Leif Erikson rights Ericsson rights dear
mother fuckers

I my girlfriend of a year

is great good looks hot bod real fun


the only shit is that she as he hits a
facial hair on the brow

apocalypse and most disgusting on the
tip of her nose

which you can only notice if you’re very
very very close kissing for example it

scratches my upper lip

to dole I feel that my inevitable
shallow personality is gonna

fuck shit up and drive me to break up
with her

should I find a way to psychologically
maker wax

or should I just tell her now that I
think about it

she has some hair under her belly button
and on her lower back to

clock that’s the question

call like God it’s spreading as he’s
talking now that I think about it it’s

it’s creepy downer coretta now they
don’t know that I’ve got to choose

howling at the moon

yeah 30 2010 playdate I

now that I think about it she has hair
on her head oh wait actually that’s fine

that’s normal but %ah

you know we have loaded be a silver
bullet into a champ yeah

today I get her to hypnotize their
senators shooter through the heart

other the heart and Sandy Leif Erikson
you’re to blame

I you know he I peer his shell shelhah
personalities gonna fuck shit up as well

yeah i i back I’ve my biggest fears that
is shallow personality is already fucked

shit up

one-year one year together and governor
described as having a hot bod like

you know being harry’s in part everybody
now yeah that’s

he needs under the hair rights under the
hair is a hot mess is that guidance

moshe yeah

does once you you you you’d knife
through the thicket of hair

right tend to just enjoy the show oh
yeah Bigfoot

yeltsin I big blue is good looking 618
call that guy but

too much hair so is is is a shallow did
not like a girl because ever

a some hair yes okay right next question

105 President Saleh to not like anybody
based on looks

I is in everything we do sell as to why
this guy worst person providing

something so small

that’s a good question yeah linkage if
somebody’s unattractive are not

attracted her

are you shallow radio this person is
that uncovered

in warts that’s like a nobody’s gonna be
like I’ll obviously are not think nobody

think that’s guy’s a bad person

but I but a little tuft of hair on that
anyone else %uh yeah

little whiskers knows tough what does he
think cats are unattractive

I lucky cat you have got to catch yeah
actually you’ve dated a cash free

alright you broke up with it with the
cat came back

the very next day next day they have
here but I really thought she was a guy

over the cat came back the very next day

she wouldn’t stay away wei-wei a No

that’s actually really fucked up signs
not like they kill the cat several times

yeah I think it’s that the cat with nine
lives thickness that writing this on

anyway anyway a break up with your

I she’s but she looks yes good looks hot
bod in israel fun

real fun I wonder if you feel that way
if she knew

his question by the way is should I find
a way to psychologically

make her lacks he means tricker

hypnotize her inception her

yeah whisper shaved into her ear while
she sleeps

what do you do

this video in you take you to a collar
me nine AK a barber shop

right you cover her eyes right right and
you say

pain a papist this ceramic hurdle

when in fact she’s getting shaved on her

white-nose I’m getting her lower back
lack this is a must come a little bit


just tryna duper into getting a wax yes
those psychological

makes me remember when I was when I was

I there was awarded a candy store and
this guy

next door he worked at a salon any used
to play with me and I don’t look back

just for validation I guess but

so he went down come in are given free
candy and you always say Lee have you

ever wanna haircut just

come by the salon invention one day I
was like you know what I’m actually

undertaken by went to the salon

and as he was a cutting washing my hair
I just felt hot

a hot in liquid on my brow

honestly I don’t know that is 0906 well

and he was like I knew you were gonna
let me but you had a unibrow Wow

like I’m you is like a new with you act
by ask you is at No which

yeah of course I would have so maybe it
is something like that I

have a bit you out so much dinner okay

oh well you better believe you got it
like some really kinky shit like

I like or how lax on love can I call you
have baby this will be so sexy

gonna on a bridge just done you’re just
on a tip you know the nah

ever who does the little bit on the
browser to the lower back on the bill

even as we get to be the hottest

just I do if I asked you wouldn’t say

I break up with you alright I am

with %uh given advice well that’s
actually pretty good advice

secret waxy Kurla the sexual secret

it’s not a secret if she’s awake for it

that sounded bad you and I don’t get
that a bad I don’t do you come back to


yeah I didn’t deceiver sounded bad
because it was yeah it sounded bad worse

because it was bad bad yeah I was not
good yeah

of bad yeah Italy I

three hours later at bad um

gosh and I think about it she has some
hair under her belly button

well some girls do have hair like a
little mustache air it’s very light

and I mean they well as it were well
worth were males

cool top huh Gak so you know

you know others differences between yeah
total yeah

so it’s bad have a beard will you do not

ladies don’t even growed you don’t think
they shave their pubes

but I get it what

totally we’re good girls have

menos penises a I wanted you to say it

thought you would and boobs you know
that is not

yeah okay so it’s not just got at that
as much as the ladies wearing bras

you know it’s physiologically they’re
different from male

yup you got it good

rolanda and and I’ll

real quick the job the inside one

thats vagina the outside one

dick but

but and I we could Bergeron

but I’m its iraq

yeah weird the Scion

what time %uh so yeah I don’t know this
guy sounds you sound like

your shallow I don’t terribly shall not
terribly shall i think is pretty

standard to not want your girlfriend

I’m hair excessive hair yeah but what do
you say what do you say to her

ladies any ladies in the house if the
guy said will you shave

for me would you be offended some nose
in some yeses

I where Salem isn’t she said no she is
Harry says the girl I hey I hate all you

guys are putting this on the woman

I but if I said she should know she’s
here he always at night

me no or sexist

is a church maybe she doesn’t know she’s
a maybe she’s cool with that as a maybe

you so he brings it up maybe it’s not a
surprise which is like a actually

dick the top there I gotta buy snarls I

I is like you know what I think that’s

I think that’s awesome how cool you r I
on the other hand think it’s awful

I’m gonna let’s agro to balance our

call it a day I even out tell this guy

I why would I would be stopped till you
can tell a girl to shave

and at the same time after a year maybe
maybe Tuesday hey

the yeah hey you

fuzzy right there on the dead others
that are you can hear my buys it is duh

break up with her

I doubt break over there

now you have to avoid having a
conversation with their yeah oh well

maybe I’ll find someone is equally good

hot bod real fun but no hair you know
you probably won’t you may have to

sacrifice real fun because I could be
any here’s our index I

up those four things good looks hot bod
real fun no hair just choose

somebody that has three at the other end
every at all it ever to be a perfect

game yeah

does its thing so I advise breakup

a that’s how we build

evacuate vice is always Bradfield as I
got a question yet without reading it

out break up like I think it is one more
single ladies in your pores all the

single ladies

all the single ladies %ah well well well

low blow low blow lol I’ll

alright next question next question
every line

these are really emails by the way but
we’re giving them fake names to preserve


anonymity now that drop the house from

on the

Jeff I got her chest I

honestly I heard no names just now I
don’t know

but Jess

Jess it’s from Jess I K jazz I’ll grab
the you

girl such as the mail in this case

cause I telecom DJ Jazzy Jeff

30 jazz inspired DJ Jazzy Jeff

rights hey guys I’m a happily in a
relationship with my girlfriend and

recently had a terrifying realization
which cannot be on thought

a section upper house has the same smell
as a ladies under lady parts



I got I

what are you cut big the

says the guy who didn’t know the

in I’ve gone down on

other girls so I’m pretty familiar with
the smell don’t worry about that

and don’t have a problem with it but it
weirds me out everytime I mean up our


I mean something else he said no this is
in the part of the house or my

girlfriend sleeves but it’s where her
mom sleeps


a unless

she’s snail trailing the walls


in I don’t know how this happened

but my question is should I not tell

girlfriend my discovery series only as
the upper house smell

like anything and I said no then later
made the twist in realization

thinks DJ Jazzy Jeff could twist the
realization of course

sherlock didn’t do that side there’s
nothing else it could be I think your

mom snail trail in

yeah I think she’s getting turned on get
yourself wet just really across the

florida law our

like some sorta perverted sex room but

like an hour like an air hockey mark

frictionless with her own mucous
membrane sliding hither and thither

I bird liner just leaving I

little tereza P Jews everywhere type you
do that mean

pussy juneau a I think smale trailing is
the funniest term I’ve ever heard ever

that’s an amazing did he make you had to
have made that I have you as a personal

challenge before

yes someone said yeah in terms of all
work together for that invented sales

rep that’s what I got this guy is the
second person ever heard it works

what could still trail other than this
situation what

other lets on that wet spot on the bed
that’s not a trail

I’m talking about you know you’re
driving on a really hot road we see the

Mirage the B&B

listening marash that’s the snail trail

you’re talking about a single what’s
spot but

snail trailing I want the service at the
because now trailing

there is there another four times a
little because now I wanna say it now

and forever and

I want to get a tattoo of a sale trail

I wanna see that movie turbo in

and a whole new light I shiny like that
glistens off the trail all

smale chilling the walls that also like
implies that the mom has some sorta like

weird power yellow couple all

know how would that even I at the Ramada
little girl from the ring with a wet


I think you just caught stealing will
always be here little traces over bad

checks you can do is standing up

by the way vertical split dog I got a
lot of chicks are calling this smell

10 who is still trailing here

christ’s help us a lord

hard because I want to know what the
rest arouse the smell like that

you think it’s something smelled like

you would be able to earn nail that

think about that

I think yeah I think I could pinpoint
this column %uh

Regina good medium clubbing also I
whatever this guy’s

ok it sounds like I think you know what
your again ever

um you know that plant it’s not like com
I was writing a nice and

right I thought a plant uses been
jizzing in

I but the guarded I there is a plant it
smells like cum I don’t know what it’s

called their windows

well I guess dogwood yes I think that is
right that’s like that she call your day

yeah no doubt I

so it’s a %uh maybe I don’t think
there’s this it necessarily

is on actual pussy juice in the house it
might just be something else

images being but other logical
explanation is there said then and this

its fish it smells like fish

that’s what it is that’s a the janis I
like the sometimes

not all the time sometimes a bad vaginal
smell like the fish

highlights you got to be real quiet but
you know that’s true

I want you all to go home order sushi
and don’t don’t pick it up for it for a


yeah than other leaving here I want you
to go home and not take a shower for a


lol dancing and stuff and compare it I

Chaiya Chaiya Chaiya EU laws salmon
avocado roll maybe some tonight art are

spread it on the wall

literally I feel like this is illegal or
a douche

help soliciting people’s you I to rub

space on their walls absolutely not
we’ve done much more legal things on

this podcast

so what would you do

if you smell procedures for a Klondike

up I think smells usually dissipate I

necessarily bring it up to the girl I
think God

let this one go hell I love that she’s

did my house smells like anything ABC
did it as a test to see a lot as you are

see was dealt a legal all I

no you don’t think it smells like
anything alright byron to me

a multiple choice on smells like flowers

um as nails trail July I’ll

ora ora ora ora popery which is its
mother any one of those persons

any one of the other ones that imagine
what to say footages respond to it what

is it

all they rode out the two we did a good
job of this is like positive

analyze Barack Obama talking about

lol now look now haha I love interest
Eltron the walls of Justin

Lovebox Lovebox like still trail the
walls in

I for one local officials cultural moshe
low pollen

absolutely missus bush el Morocco but

still trail the white house walls the
Rose Garden alright

I don’t think I’ve they gonna be killed
by the end is a veteran

they gather in snow is gonna have my
head in a bag for that

I think I would start in a row this
question to ask me Co

he knew it go there her mother going to

we started from the snail trail an hour

we absolutely are Jesus Christ world

what now Obama to him a nice don’t say

don’t they say done said smugly

I’m yeah does it does it’s hardly worth
it is let’s fuck with ages

don’t the as see it’s not something say

clears a here’s a thing that I thought I
always think

in general when what people say things
smell bad

more with people you Solus

why don’t you just breathe out of your

that is said like someone who always
smells that you

what a weirdo fence little you gotta
live down people thing

around even tho they smelled funny my
love your mouth

mom not I am but I tasted

Amir in love just let me watch the

cadence even

how many sales have trailed on this

but seriously it’s nothing smells
temporarily I’m a mouth breathers I

rarely smell out my nose

are I really would smell things because
I don’t breathe through my nose

right that the downside is that my mouth
is always a gay but I look like an idiot

caught up bro is not smelling things
very often

if you bring that your mouth can you
still smell things I don’t know now what

maybe not I don’t know the legs in his
youth snow so the

knows you like elements tougher than my
nose just one out then you later

thinking your take just tasting it your
mom in about two min smells like shit

I’m like oh man alright knows are cut
off go in my mouth my

are no way that’s like ship article
sneaking into my mouth

call size we try to hold my breath and
leave that said

I think the like one part of your
girlfriends house smelling like vagina

is such a small problem and it’s so
easily avoidable that I can’t believe


you’re considering like bringing this up
in conversation

yes I there’s a tuft of hair on his
girlfriend’s nurse

i think thats game-changer that is a
game and that means they break up with


I let’s move on I have my my advise to

RJ surprises don’t bring up my advice is
breathe through your mouth

yeah I give that advice a lot of the

and never ever make sense until now

alright third question who’s got a

well 10 now what she said

oh yeah only now a late I heard leader

alina Lena Dunham a alina da numba Lena
don’t am A

eileen i dunna Lena Dunham I’m not gonna
get you guys that suggests that the

cubans ayatollah out I mean I got up

Island this is also from a dude

actually could be from a girl but to say
this from Alina hey dudes

so it was my 15th birthday last Sunday
and my pair

sure I why did you Allen

are you fit all we all up in 15 you can
be here in your face if you’re fifteen


security I so is my fiftieth birthday
last Sunday and my parents got me

tickets to a rugby match in Edinburgh

we live in a small town about 60 miles
away I love my mama and papa

club for some strains screwed up reason
I cannot be seen in public with them

reluctantly I have agreed to go but it
gets worse

they’re spending a night out with their
friends after so we will not be driving

to the match

don’t know we are taking the train I
can’t seem to convince them that this is

a bad idea and will leave me moody an
embarrassing generally ruined my weekend

I know you may think I’m an asshole but
is it a normal for a team to be no

mortified to be seen with their elders
in busy places thanks

%uh Elena Alina Alina Lena Dunham Allen
I don’t

I do love house self-aware this kid is

i think is an asshole right i think is
the only fifteen year old that is not

like %ah my parents suck

I hate my path you like for some crazy
reason I hate being seen with them

you know what I feel I course that I
read this it sounds like the parents

writing for the teenager I

like oh I’m so bored if I for some
strange reason to be seen with my

parents are pretty cool

is it normal for my team to hate me I
mean they’re

I mean my parents ok I we want to take
the train but

well help

it’s so it’s so sad and funny at the
same time

teenagers do hate their parents yet
you’re going to have to do your parents

I didn’t but not but I’m not a female
you’re also I mean well you’re thirty

now your parent yeah

you’re a late bloomer I does iraq I am

I why don’t we need to meet their

I don’t know because they don’t
understand us I could they try to take

up the puck in soccer matches

in the theory on a train mom I
appreciate you be pregnant for nine

months than raising me from a caller to
a baby to all fucking

two-year-old five-year-old ten-year-old
he really long meeting me

years and I want money for college but
fuck off

but I hate a better that all that stuff
is counteracted by the fact that you

listen to weird music when we’re in the
car together

right which eventually turns into you
loving the Beatles yeah

you know we’re all because we side with
the parents how that’s true

police try to take these kids I’d do we
get a

your parents sought your dad’s lameee
dresses like a fucking tool hack and

your mom is always a good you hungry are
you thirsty view to the bathroom like

fuck off mama

line gotta keep raising hell 15

fucking years old now I have use bids

fan just letting others got their soccer

you guys drive gotta want to hang out
your stupid France what’s the fucking

point you guys gonna be

debts you want to be prayin that’s what
you tell your parents do they suck

in sucks you

I yeah that so you should tell your
parents are giving you a gift

8-cell nah I prepares to give kids

gets alright their whole life is a gift
they they deserve to get

as a my dad told me growing up I I never
got a gift

I I never got anything in

it Donagh yeah I’m a privilege to Jill

II one-time I remember um

my parents were supposed to go to you
they were going to visit my uncle

like in philadelphia chill

with Billy odd so that they were they
were gone for the

you know for the weekend and I’m super
pumped it’ll all my friends were having

I was gonna have a party

how your as well as 17 a call when I was
17 my parents wanna well be like already

got to play a full 18 yet stable 1 a.m.
play golden

size they were pumping his party and out
my sister

my older sister got she actually not
like not even strep throat like a sore

throat so bad that she had to go to the

yet so it has canceled a trip I was like
fuck you got

all take your head all rights 0 souls

lighted I god what have I done to
deserve this other than everything that

I’ve done so far I live to deserve this

other I every my threw a chair and I
told my dad I hated it

the crazy part is I was in the right

the crazy part is your prayers and beat
the shit outta you when you’re the

asshole 17-year-old

got how patient you have to be to be
apparent yeah they like

that they did they were just like I you
know what actually I’m we’re just gonna

cut our losses we have six kids now have

I you your about it yeah I turned out

despite our best efforts you just said
fuck you and your sister with the


so you have to go I guess in some weird
way I failed raising year because your

value system is so

Celeron you we trade takes place with
Hannah real quick

I we love him to go to the hospital and
not make it oh my god it works

the fair I believe it got now Park got

is so it the sad truth is it is not a
normal for teenagers and it’s universal

this person’s probably

not in america the ish she gives a shit
about a rugby match

right pressure and she also said
Edinburgh yeah that’s another good clue


could reduce she’s not in america

because she likes rugby and said she was
in america

other dissidents a sixty miles

other ladies miles in looking one day
you can’t win

I all its Colin I’m

are crowds my will say it’s I think it’s

that you are that you at least accept
you hear pass for no reason

a lot of other people think they hit
their parents for a good reason and they

don’t bottoms up on that

whiskey lower Hao

the tell you

%uh so will share It Gets Better

yeah you no it doesn’t get very just get
older how you get better

yeah I well I think the worst

a gay teen campaign I don’t worry

you get better that the that other right
there I said yeah that’s like the kids

are two people at the half but

legible you get better all I got to be
the worst

and anyone who have made that joke and
that you did

no actually you did okay so but yeah i i

except US you you suck right now little
thirteen-year-old his sake deal

up one day you’ll grow to appreciate
your parents and you’ll realize that

like a dolla time with your parents so
the fact that they wanted to drive you

to a soccer game

150 birthday when I swear to god they
had think they’d rather do

I it’s actually pretty awesome and so
try to try to go to soccer game

and thinking is a cool experience rather
than its acting

now it’s bad advice artwork you know
it’s the karmic payback for this is your

parents are gonna grow old and

actually annoying and then you’re gonna
be an adult

and you have to suck it up right that is
what happens to you

at first they’re great and you hate them
that they become 85 to 95 year old

they’re actually terrible racist smelly

and then you have to let you know down
all the I hate you I hate your father

%uh does not so bad he means well he’s a
good man mock me

so it all balances out in the end hate
your parents now

love them later but for completely
opposite reasons we should love our

parents now I hate that later

which is what I’m getting a head start
on I spent my whole life think my

parents were okay

their deeds third FDC yeah you give your
dad a report card every year

months Tracy was suspended with extra
credit could get up to a B-minus as up


I I love you dad you

spence 1 episode convincing your mom to
leave your father

I love my dad I think my mom can do

climb mom can do better I can’t do
better I’ve been dealt that hands-on

accept it

and my moms a smoke so what you deserve
to fucking 10

a my dad the four-and-a-half did not

called my sisters here she knows what’s

secret ballots for me Rachel stand up
and yell about how much you know you’re

fired at a recuperating

what hurt and I night out to dinner
don’t worry

iraq I

and I we’ll have a live the crowded
field six is a female for the stimulus


IRA movie on

yeah do we take breaks during my
podcasts other immune fortitude

I would have anything to talk about
during the break %uh I


tell you why I so it out ideas somebody
else checks virginity and then the crowd

erupted in route such a rebel plot

continue I alright so here’s the thing
my virginity

I really I have I don’t want to discuss
on the podcast not love in Paris because


you know it I hope there’s like nothing
if we stopped recording said it so

that’s what I’m saying if you promise
right now to edit this out

I’ll do it for just the people and the

it’s not the people here it’s just that
I don’t want whatever like

I don’t recording never get out there
and I’ll like this poor girl’s gonna be

mortified to come back

police said I don’t know 10 my

bought this old the

fuck yeah %ah so it’s just

alright so everybody be quiet I

this story begins now

story over now

the not

so does appear a good incentive every
time we do a live show

we don’t tell the story every will not
ever recorded

have I love that beautiful that’s the
way to incentivize a crowd

now that you guys are a great crowd I
mean you guys are the best cry because

you came here without that without

at incentive really true fact in

whiskey and other bartender plays

in now is half not a joke hell yeah

yeah I mean how the W fucker on now as
it sounds funny else

on him close but I said with the double

didn’t you know a hit as a year in

yeah funny and secure I’ll take that and
save money

and disagree the

but I fourth question is do it my
question how funny really

II want to thank you’re funny

doesn’t mean anything that I said

there’s a letter that like have to ask
you force me to because it doesn’t mean


it means everything soda

Wow I guys question number for y’all
ready for this

dance dance dance yeah

that they already know this but AJ can

housing ordinance she sits Christ
private a podcast

I %ah

out there Alexander it is a guys we have
to say Alexander sorry Alexandra

alexander the Great I the great s

ready year ago question number for I’m
an 18-year-old high school are

fuck I’m drunk are you

pride doing the and your good

to pick everybody

now the rock tonight terrible thing to

hehehe taking a mere I’m a a third talk
to Mike

you’re not good at that yeah

I’m an 18-year-old highly social senior
in high school

be dating my boyfriend for about a year
now and I lost my virginity to inside

feel like we have a bond that can’t be

now it’s unless you guys aren’t fucking
anymore it’s pretty much broken already

could five-year pat my friends and I are
going on it’s on a ski trip I’ll break

anything coming up but

every hot guys in the mountains this is
a girl this is a girl has a girl

him becoming increasingly jealous is a
really big turnoff but I can’t fathom us

breaking up

especially for something like this
should I try to convince some of my

people this

and how love Alexandra

aggression have moved it so desire
dangerous so this lady is going on a ski


her boyfriend doesn’t trust her she
thinks you think she’s gonna fuck every

guy I saw

how can she proved that she’ll be
faithful to him which is such a honest

earnest beautiful richly I just want my
boyfriend know how much I love them yeah

and he’s a he’s an asshole do you hear
what you said he thinks you’re gonna

fuck every guy you see in the mountains

like you having cultivated a
relationship trusts

where you won’t do that not see ladies
not every guy is

Jake Hurwitz there are good people out

how dare you le I don’t think any girl
I’m with his gonna fuck every hot

nah I think I will fuck every hot girl I

%uh nevermind so she I

yeah I don’t all like you didn’t know
that about me

thank you give me a hand

%ah in

del in has tagged what now

so this this sweet innocent awesome high
school senior who has lost her virginity

to this this this terrible human being

want some sort you know what she should
do fuck I kinda nuns

that but also maybe call him before you
get to the mountains

that way he can spy on you the entire
weekend now we can finally trust that is


if you call empty column on your way up
never ever hang up the phone

yeah I think it was in every
conversation you have now at last I


yeah lol he I mean I don’t wanna
FaceTime based I’m mad because you did

you know you can

you can have silent sex in like casual
conversation let’s really anyway what’s

going on hiatus it isn’t scared last

oh you’re trying to get her to fuck
people during yeah but whether they like

this dude if he needs to be like

if he needs to be I’m pacified

it like it is we play kid like this
which is based I’m like in a corner of a

room to the entire I like a surveillance

abhors I think a guy deserves it I mean

that the bond that can’t be broken
virginity Chevy and that is gonna let

this floozy go to the mound unless you
wanna go to the mound in the first place

if not to fuck everyone

I mean we all those skiing is it fun but

what’s fun is fucking have realized
she’s gone up there to meet every every

Joe snowboarder there is a drop trout
dropper snow path bend over on a god

damn ski lift and take you from behind

absolutely not that absolutely unfair
this is a bond that can’t be broken and

will be broken if you go on a ski trip

would you say the surveillance should be
both ways maybe the the girl now we can

do whatever the fuck you want to know
what’s going on around here someone is

giving us tracks

however put it’s our birthday or your

today so dull

so you want to finish this one

yeah I got it I

so hopefully Jakes Joe cancer makes you
realize how big a min

amazing amazing ass all pocket you’re
dating a tumbling

dick we I bulky you’re dating a tumbling
tumbling decade

what now um I would break up with him
before you go on your trip

ol hook up with a hot skewed and call it
a day

dude you do not have to put up with
jealousy I think Joe’s is the worst buy

anything for a relationship

I got one guy degrees in saying is

yes know it I mean

why these special with young people gel

I mean I don’t know fuck jealousy that

I never jealous though have been jealous

but now

for the most part no clinic worth a go
to track attempt to be attracted to your

mate is the

is to trust them right even if you’re
not even if you are jealous even your

super insecure if you just pretend that
you’re not like did you hear her when

she was like

his jealousy is a huge turnoff yes else
Roomster now all you get like the best

thing you can be as cool with everything
even when you’re not

yeah that’s a huge compliment that guys
pay girls and the other way iraq girls

big Isaac

he’s not jealous he’s so cool he lets me
do this he lets me do that I

and then you give her enough slack and
she fucking cheat on you so next time

next time you gotta keep a tighter leash
on that has your

have you ever been cheated on have you
ever been she gonna not that I know of

you not that you know yeah and I’m a

and I’ve never cheated on someone I’ve
ever been cheated on

I’m once how did it feel

fine but for civil tone of a hacer
deserves to be cheated on thirty more


right back that he’s only been cheated
on once is an amazingly you won the

lottery I think Heights

up my ego pretty college are made out
with somebody

I am watching told me I fucks to other

in had like I told her she was a slut

you called her maid orgy to yell at her
debts however out a house here you

should you out

I’m sorry %ah

you’re 18 break up with this person

yeah we really had to break you with you
operating but your um

person you lost your virginity to you
that bond not a special love you think

it is

that isn’t actually some more than

it means nothing it’s got them
wafer-thin yeah

also I want even considered a bond as
much as they are

up paper link I

paper link I’m not as well whiskey

it’s not your fault I just so you guys
know how big of an asshole jakies

he received a free drink three minutes
ago and is complaining about it already

artists and I really like bullet are
going on tonight


I got my hands in the cargo I hate that
that cut off

so so far four questions three above
break up with their lives I do you think


I do you think the jealousies got it
it’s not the problem

its relationship cancer it is it’s gonna
it just grows like the belly if you go


gone this under Skeeter then you’re like
hey I’m not gonna cheat on you I’ll call

you every night is the you know

are terrible then he went and the every
time you do anything he’s like alright

call me so I know you’re not cheating on
me is cool

no as he done and I absolutely tse-tung

better to just make his fears come true

this dude listen to the podcast do it is
absolutely mortified if we had another

question there was like my government’s
going on a ski trip I love her so much

I just have this trust this year like
ever since my dad gmail on my mom I

I want to trust people so much but I
even though she’s amazing I i still does

water to call me every night so I feel

is that crazy cheated on her

fuck every hot guy you see on the

ledyard where you going ok email I’ll be

know how her well when you’re cheating
on someone

does it cross your mind the lady that
you’ve checked your cheating

against the girl that you’re letting
down you think either


well at all now you don’t feel better

as he’s right I let’s


year after that I

ha well I want to remember it feels like
to cheat on somebody

holy shit you’re hired the

so it’s amazing it’s called

getting you out it’s getting your son
now I I don’t think about the personnel

after it’s over

and then like a lawful at the old sad

I feel like I want to recommit to them
then be with them for ever I think hey

you know what I don’t tell them the
truth but it by

pledge the rest of my life for them all
that in some small

weighing make up for it brian is
incredibly adjusted

that I’ve given them like that’s what I
think and then

you know that day goes by and the next
day I’m like I’m tax amount to know

whether I was over there was ok but

the and I mean that I mean it that it’s
like oh that is repeat itself I

I love male soda

the you know what the whole thing is
worth it because this podcast is more

entertaining because the

because up the asshole that I yeah
because if this shallow human that

everyone on earth

think that doing a bit but it’s a really
strange but

even after that statement you can still
give its people it serves are we ready

haha nah like a high-tech version of
myself yeah

of his life profits this is the this is
the most guys I’ve ever been to anyone

and it’s still all you

him you strangers and 41,000 people
listening at home

to answer one more question should we do

palomas nomas on a much broader Bruno

what was the name the Oxford

Sam I saw you Yelpers that I could hear
you but

we got its M that a Sam rights

semi-solid a but hey I just started my
first year at university and met this


we started Hawking up on a somewhat
regular basis


winning I

the right that was me here’s the problem

I have had a girlfriend for about two
years now in



on the that is the the calling of an

the mating call are about to lose
baghdad yeah

call-in I love is real quick

hey guys I started first year university
about this girl we started hooking up on

a somewhat regular basis here’s the
problem I’ve had a girlfriend for about

two years now our relationship has got a
bit stale

but I enjoy having both these girls in
my life I mean the girl I just met

knows about my gf and doesn’t have a
problem with my gf on the other hand is

super suspicious and asked me all the

about this new friend a mine of course
I’ll always share her nothing is going


and she seems to buy it floods my
question is should I keep this

amazing situation going in

thanks guys love the shell just plunge
back to our last question

other girl how I is sure my boy for not
being paid

all we get such asshole dudes

and and such beautiful women with kind
souls girls are so much better that guy

roles or

are they’re like girls alike how do I
share my boyfriend I’m not cheating on

him I would never ever ever I do that

ugli covert without her knowing I just
fuckin best places to live

on to keep the hot girl how do you call
that an amazing situation

her you know it’s a way you can just one
stranger another person you love and

care about it suspicious Angelis all the
time but she doesn’t fucking key role in

the hay

situation yeah because he gets the good

got to sell the

oh yeah

you’ll recognise at all I

I V break up with your girlfriend

you kill yourself but at a Starbucks

the I

Harry Carey start

LA order a tractor ice water and cooking

cluster on the ground in farther yeah
let here’s three-year tell your eyes are

pretty strong too was sorting

cut my hair cut my neck open barista

by wait a minute

you’ve cheated on your girlfriend you’re
the asshole your

your your your liking I can’t do I idea
hey hey

absolutely here the ass all I I i’m such
as will have authority over other

assholes to tell them when they’re being

you’re the asshole kidnap her a

the seizes what part of shit I still

I but but I’ve it’s a got their water in
some weird way

anything to have touches is yours

business everything I touch turns to
absolute shit

my friends my family

spirit goes the whiskey now list liquid
shit right here

a drinking you sit up on your drink a
dire is a this he should break up his


and what’s the point you have like
somebody was suspicious that your

activities in a rocking out with someone
so you see how easy it is for

like to hook up with people to college
the single-a do that’s fine that’s why I

have to deal with texting reassuring
sign it’s like an added

negative you’re 18 or 19 you’re not
gonna end up with his girl back all you

might as well just hit the stop hurting

and was this morning with anyone in a
relationship in high school here that

survived throughout college

now okay so zero percent success rate

anybody listening at home who’s emit

the ages at 1518 n easy even thinking
about caring relationship over

know that it’s impossible I will say my
parents met when they were 1681 look

with the booking rates


this your scared battle more

karla absolutely all right you know it

we have one last little but now we want
to get to before minute

are drunk on well lol ask mister

during your press have a drug person is
really close to airport

I I write this last question

I my friend Amy loves your cell and we
can tonight to celebrate her 17th


will you saying happy birthday do her

and the answer is yes squares lol on

%ah forget

up the cell yeah

how was the show guys I was good but it
was really mad a period ended on a sour

note where they be

any P ready for sale I tell you to come
up here

and Keira the YouTube share a lot of

but not on this might be 10 lying about
their birthdays

to order for you odds are there’s not
really what are you sure I

%ah you for the gala

check te Kelo placard is obvious is a

yesterday recovered peace out dawg holy
shit this

but well

his ideas from Mongolia Jin

on their birthday

others oh and he’s actually here

totally come on stage are you ever hear
iPod is everyone is this anyways David

just looked through the true any so
everyone sing happy birthday to any but

you guys go absorb it

ready 321 had here

it’s a




a friends here


yeah the


thank you so much for coming to our
first a real live podcast

we appreciate it very very very much at
all if you can listen to the show I know

someone you have never heard a big was a
good on every Monday and sometimes

Thursday on a fire you showed a cock pic
to get everybody thank you so much for

being out of my head

the I G








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