Episode 37: The Friend Zone


In this episode we discuss coincidences, confidences, and why the infamous “friend zone” doesn’t actually exist.

This BONUS Thursday episode is made possible thanks to LegalZoom: Online legal services, made easy! Check out LegalZoom.com and use either coupon code “Jake” or “Amir” for a discount.


a bear no why redo it I’ll hey there now

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and most importantly enjoy this episode

yeah please do please do it’s a special

very special absolutely absolutely a
Swedish or answered questions

unsightly you are usually part is
obstruction I

he answered him thanks guys enjoy this

the gym


yellow though do you

that was Chandler has sailor being a

I to naylor bong himself

it’s not a very popular comedy nerd
thing to say but I think friends is one

of the funniest shows ever

yeah is really is and it’s like it sort
of brought in mainstream but it’s also

really really funny

true it’s not cool but I think I think
I’m gonna go out on a limb and say I


renzo yeah I’ve been fran has actually

a player and I and they all said enough

I Wow

or that was so haha last

yeah you’re there already page now the
way you rose your boy

you pulled my hair back when he said
that ARCA mmm

I yet now actually easy easy does it say

say you love it if I really the only
advice podcast on the Internet has to

buy us a mere

and I’m Josh tryin on I

Jake and Jake unfortunately

me and still live there inside CAS I
would try it out introduce the wise old

is Josh

and it didn’t take I

I’m not willing to give up I that I like

wedge I get ready to go and look at the
man I call myself job I

live I don’t know it’s the idea my hey
and Josh

hey Josh like I that’s how I practice
introducing myself

as Josh yeah like when I like a try on
clothes my hey

job I what a weird thing to do

an hour I Josh should never be as candid
as he as you are now

yeah josh is the guy well yeah I

and Jake is unfortunately the guy that I
am good Jake is Josh’s able to read

I I’ll it’s me I

holy shit unfortunately I’m stuck is
Jake pretending to be Josh

yeah value to the podcast with an evil
twin I

doppleganger if you will husband

that’s not fun that’s not fair to you or

we have a jot Josh’s Josh might be cool
if it is not as good a podcast host

because he doesn’t have these demons
they are battling yeah

goes through here has through I you’re
right now and I I am a boss

how did say that I say your you’re

on an edge I don’t see it that you think
I’m gonna be used in the park as regards

black Infiniti then

Yale absolutely did I said you’re you’re

for for whatever reason so candid about
I your inner demons that it comes off as

entertaining so I appreciate it he

do I am i dnt I can entered the room all
your belly my inner demons yet

a minor demand one epilogue jus the
David that sodium in zaire

the winds are you enter the entered even
one yet I you know the

battles over I lost a battle of the war
I have become

a demon and the thing is it was a it was
a genocide I think give the Angels a lot

there’s no there’s no coming back from

access and I am I said what I am yeah

inside I’m scorched-earth nothing more
%uh the bad side has more than one

it is repopulate the earth and there’s a

there’s a newer sector more evil people
that is currently waging a battle again

there were no you never resist

I’m not I they didn’t put up a fight
because I guess they’re pacifist

others like the Angels subjugate just
lay down and allow them to like driver

take over their bases and now I’ve he’s
a ship

throw what happened with other people
that nimi

my in my brain it’s just a angels on a
swing unable to talk to girls are do

anything yeah well it said let’s read
chill out here that attack your angels

are just like they really

why the in bed in a large sway me to
swat away the interview

it is like a used to get french fry no I

yeah minute like all go up to your
friend’s ex

I all oppose same day

didn’t think so yeah mine is like four

four angels playing badminton doubles in
a little angel

our little devil fly buzz is up and
they’ll just destroy it with a racket

yep yeah like I let’s keep lane boys
mine is the

ID man walks up to an angel was like
there’s gonna be a fight but then the

angel unzipped it stays and it a bigger

think should be and I never had it has
to be killed if

0 was only 50 min you

fuck your friends ex thanks mom and dad
well yours was the razor with angels in

that turns out you can give me jack

yeah whatever whatever inmate good
people most people are born with I got

jack shit

yeah nature and nurture both giving up
against me how is that fair I never had

I never had a fighting chance

how is that the podcast work I’m like Oh

know those point I’m crying so doing on
Sat I really loses

earlier than the podcast I’ve ever from
you know

just fellow gardeners self-loathing

it the Haiti know who I am well

the I think it’s because we’re recording
on Sunday night which is the pinnacle

love though the time the week that
self-loathing this is the worst

his last name last night at this time

I was king in the world your Josh I
thought I was yet how it

I was at 10 Josh Josh Josh would be like

in reading with I’m not a class I

I with complete his shelves like all
Manama god let’s go out and get drunk

what’s bugging me

checks and now and now Sunday night the
August of times

I just wanna have somebody’s hand to
hold on the couch that

it all I want is to be you at your
problem is you exist in two different


yeah unfortunately the week is not all
Sunday night’s

on or is it all Saturday night’s see at
the called you know

Tuesday’s pretty chill I are ways they
get wild Thursday’s crazy yesterday the

like usually it’s like two days a week
and five days a week but

lately have been operating on the exact
opposite schedule which is a five-day

weekend and then two days of recovery

yeah what yeah that’s true is we go out

when a pretty hard on Wednesday yeah
I’ll after a live podcast there

yeah got sauce TAA haa

with any dinner hey are you liquored up
a little but

yeah it he did need to do with leaders
early tonight and we didn’t he would

enter their wages drink whiskey

and that’s what happens the end cell how
does podcast work

alright we basically talk about why
jackson piece a shit dissected for half

an hour maybe get to a question now just

people find themselves in difficult
places in their lives and they don’t

have a buddy to turn to see the email us

at a fire you show a gmail dot com we
come through

the thousands and thousands of emails
that we get

choose three to five every episode and
do our best

attempt to answer them to advise them
out of their terrible place

the lawless flawless explanation you
know I’ll days when you’ve ever done

I’ll give you the credit of coming up
with the idea within know what our

package should be

and Jake said and advice podcaster and I
was a little worried because

we’re not experts in anything nope
luckily that’s what makes the show

i entertaining because we are so at a
bar element yet word so dull

yet nobody wants to see an expert answer
question we might as well be like I’m

I’ve model that well in my mind I wanted
to be like our talk

but they’re experts yeah but like we
might as well do a car type of

iPad we r like a %ah there’s a problem
with my 1992 Chrysler Sebring really

oh i’m for then but just make one anyway
he wrote the

I well it’s not completely I

sure these people are the sausages made
a radio I’d receiver is made in 1992

pilot thinking about a barren either way
to Chrysler

to be sure to the issuer ISO let’s get
started let’s answer first email

yes and we’re going to give this person
a fake name though it’s a real email

we’re getting a fake name to preserve

anonymity energy MIDI here we go

ready yes hey dudes I’m in high school

so there’s this makes that I like I have
two classes with her and we have a lot

in common and get along very well

I asked her friend to ask this girl
casually without being overbearing if

she would entertain the idea of hooking
up with me

she told her friend that she likes me
too much as a friend

where do I go from here I still like her
and she likes me

but only as a good friend how can I win
her over and said do sir

also when I ask this girl to dinner one
night she agreed then said she was sick

and bailed

I’m lost scared and more than confused

bugs bugs I can clear this up for you re
ok where

yeah sounds like a million girl I

and your question %uh the how do I

is out you don’t I’ll but

she likes she still likes him as a
friend check he actually

editorialized his own ed good friend

the prayer was like our site now she
likes you too much as a friend and use


alright I appreciate that I’m a good
friend another I

I am not and say that I just there does
she like you too much

as a friend right and then she is not
attracted to you

like you as a too much as a friend is

polite way of saying I’m not attracted
to you right which is like

with them you know that I like I’m in
the friend zone with this chick she ran

zoned me he had the like period at not

at the gym nice polite way I’ve just
being like are the not her cubs own

she thinks I’m ugly what do it. I I’m in
the ugly zone I think where she puts

people that are ugly

yes she doesn’t like my face or
personality how do i do not go highlight

how to get past her not liking my friend
are you that you can there’s no breaking

out in the friend zone because it
doesn’t the friend zone is a real thing

later your hideous I

with a more accurate that iraq has
actually I broke another friend’s before


yeah girls likes I like is a friend yeah
but you know where her down

like erosion you do that you have to be
patient that’s all it is

you know it’s a very attractive quality
being chill

yet not giving a shit when you get
rejected yeah

and it’s not taking failure well-liked
you can get a little bummed when you

fail but I was talking about

yeah but when you rejected the best most
attractive thing you can do

is at least pretend like you don’t give
a shit right

and at best actually not give a shit
bested actually not giving a shit yeah

for sure

because when you you see someone who
gets rejected and the stew and their

angry and they’re jealous and their
bitter thats that’s the bed like that

validation Abuja oh man yeah it’s good
they have rejected that project has

crazy you know I there is one time did

like maybe last summer but I would like

cancel up Lance I like an xong girls

just to see how they reacted oh that’s
good you’re like an evil scientist

yeah yeah he liked tinkering with this
in mind zeroing in here on the back of

their spot as good as you pointed out
that I was a national

osha all my goodness the I’m a jerk I

i buy it i’m glad that you told me I’m

yeah now lemme know I’ll change the
problem is that I can’t

I already know I’m a jerk

you the problem is that you rode its not
that you can’t

anyway this story goes I 303 883 girls

failed I’m at London’s girl issue is so
cool about it and I wanted to like go

out there that nato’s like the other

I’m now I changed my mind yeah we should
go out

I like you yet the worst you it’s weird
because you you grow up thinking

OB person like have some perseverance go
for it do it give it your all when

somebody tells you know

don’t don’t take that for an answer
right it’s like poet super cool to be


to to be a go-getter yeah I know it
actually a

like at the its different dating cuz
they give your

in a job if you ask for promotion and
they’re like no that it does look a lot


you go back in the next month you work
really hard you go back and ask again

right but with the girl it’s like super

normal the best way to get ur is to act
chill your

actual acts so chill that you actually
become chill

mmm you like a lot of people said you
fake laugh

a.m. for long enough to start laughing
yeah heard you like just

pretend that you’re over someone yeah
until it actually becomes the norm your

fake it till you make it that we did it.
on a budget I

hey then devalue I could tell it to you

.eu I think there would have with
separate all the the

the advice into either you to use or

the audio ordered do the new year will
to the new you

which is you know what she wants me as a
friend okay fine

next yeah I wanna be with someone who’d
actually does want me I don’t know I

don’t have to win someone over

it could have been the way you phrase
the question which is like

do you I would you maybe consider
hooking up with him

not like going on a date with them like
hey I don’t know

you can learn from this mistake and but
moving on to a different lady you after

work on this girl

yeah I wouldn’t even like yeah I don’t
which is easy for us to say

rate course was last time your rejected

I am by like in what sense

like I you fired a bullet you swung a
bat as he said

I didn’t happen the gas to go out on a
date she said no

yeah my ass to go to meet you one night
she said no

will like that happens all the time and
you and you

how do you react to that I I don’t care

though like that you’ve become the cool
guy were like

I mean like it when you’re out you’re
like oh i cum drug and I try to meet up

with people in like the text

you know you text when their text the UN
em IQ

end up just going home like you meet
somebody else

and you just I don’t know i think thats

that microinjection yeah cuz like all

reject people and then like sometimes
they’ll reject me in the Tower like this

and flow and that sometimes we meet up

for a deal I think it’s at like 2009
awsome on a date and they said

yes and they cancelled how dare they

and you were beat up about it I was
pretty sad and did you say

what why how can you didn’t need it will
use change your mind I can change deal

let’s let’s figure this out we II

the Nassau love her friend yeah you put
in a good word for me and i’d like that

sigh I’d like to seduce her

I stood outside her window like I

John Cusack I anything but I

I held at the boombox and another is
coming out yeah I to press play and

their shoulders are there

etc let me and let me in the eye and
then like she came out just then

and like I was my eye was bleeding I
started crying a little bit

and my cousin this dude like this do
came over is like I thought I can help

me as I hey please PLEASE I like my i
think i think is gradually Korea

I and he like any just like fuck each
doug is here in my pocket took my phone

took my wallet he took like like he took
my key love you can’t do it like that

Michael is my apartment you don’t even
know where I live

really sleepy but not shocked then Lake
into a tree

it was crazy and like the way that an
hour’s it was either serendipity year

better have God but the ring actually

perfectly around a twitter-like
inordinate yeah on antibody by the way

another John Cusack in

I which I tried to recreate I went to
the school’s library iro in every single


which i think he doesn’t have a road
like to know like to add my number

and yes she is she she called the police
after they get their make

a broken entered and then I was like of
the defacing property

so I don’t know a yes you do

I take rejection hard that day I though
the bad day

I was a bad day for Shaw I alright
surveys that this guy is

I move on move on .org here

here min I

next question next let’s call this guy
Daffy Duck

Daffy Duck rights i jus the right but
%uh but brother the that’s all that

other stuff it’s not a

adapted and yeah I do it here

back as though that they will gather
that yeah

and yeah I don’t remember will like I
want you guys to

how was has some like rather that has


air elmer photos like yeah I

What’s Up Don nah had bike that book

like that I really really like I do it
like my little cousin members like you

like purposely get things right

I where I recall you’re the and the dogs

moot now at the first job you know the

it’s like the disconnect between what an
animal actually says and who it is

that’s that’s the first joke

that we learn in and you’re still
telling it now you know about what Apple

underdog Millat

yeah I’m into you that %uh the tender
Joker now on we have when we got on the

road I think I’m gonna open with that

I think I’m gonna say welcome the dogs
is moving

and how many you know the body but
pretty solid opening a tender and people

do this in screenshot it send it to me

acidly let us know that works Irish a
gmail dot com

so you say say you’re a and knock knock

%ah and like obviously how are these

doctor isn’t enough active and near a

who’s there and you write interrupting
cow I could write back introduced into

how do I use Asia and Europe

back mu fuck I

that is a good one thank you third I
have used it now I’m I did you know

there are minted

I’m W and I’m minutes late as soon as
we’re done that I can use it today

that way like a girl would know that
you’re funny yeah yeah

through her and since you’re attractive
and funny they wanna meet up with you

yeah I know where we meet up and I’m
attractive and funny and I pay for the

drinks with my AMEX

I years drug-related on paper third yeah

funny amateur activity I’m rich no setup
a baller

oh I guess I don’t go there the podcast

I will try and talk about all the girls
that okay and i get a text that there’s

hey I don’t know

what you think I am but but like you
lied to me and I say sister I never lied

to you with an omission

the truth I say that’s considered a lot
and then I say is it

and I they knock knock I you diva you’re
really not gonna respond to that

let’s start over interrupting you
interrupting you who

interrupting a yoohoo board meeting I

yup I could grow to continue to pour

yeah they’re talking about remark like
me but rebranding their start over

their new drink they got yeah like a
white chocolate drink this episode is

brought to you by you

now exactly right throughout the Bay
LegalZoom legal yeah that sounds a


very interesting another delicious
beverage I know

used although no in any other charges

rename you lovable idiot you love a
lovable man

boom I read it yet hey guys

love the show I’m I’m up

what I’m early twenties and have been
with my girl for five years

jake would probably cringe at this
everything is sweet mad love and she

cooks cleans

active and funny and in with her was no

but the other day in the car I thought I
saw her pic her nose but I wasn’t sure

forgetting about it until we’re on the
couch later I turn to laugh and there

was definitely a pic

and it wasn’t just a rimjob it was Ian
this isn’t enough to break up a great

relationship but it’s also bugging me

regards deathly what’s what sort of
stuck up

relationship is this five years then I
love you like this is that enough to

break up a great relationship yeah

a course 90 yeah we know it we’re
breaking up is about your but there is a

disconnect because I don’t even think
that’s enough to write into the podcast


it’s insane it’s five years and you just
saw her pick your nose now held by five

years you should be sharing while she
showers should

at five years you’re shaking in her
mouth I five years you’re taking up her

tampon what she’s eating Greek yogurt on
the toilet

yeah I at five years yeah you’re you’re
pissing interface

hey add five years you’re masturbating
while she’s watching the Oxygen Network

in you but you’re both on the couch
eating popcorn your has greatly yeah he

cranky it

porn on not even headphones reactors I

very loud and very violent out five
years it’s an open book

five years yeah picking nose is oh my

know your there’s like how was it a

up you like pardon for another girl a

mmm among 30 a.m. a month or two yeah

like p I’m not holding it in for ever i

I waited four years once four years for
one part

I miss you I but it is there is like
there are those little stats

relationship you should be happy that is
but you know the brady you

and are you know also concerned that she
finally became comfortable around you

have anything it’s it’s a little
alarming that you waited five years but

now that the romance is completely dead
I figure she thinks ugh a Florida girl

to you never pick your nose

you never pick your nose we both picard
as is the pic o’leary likes me and you

shame was pic I know they have this
gusting at yeah

big we did a conflict Lee AP at we day
control in Flex

yeah we dig we roll we rollin rollin

big big big click click click they’re
picky in scratchy now was

Wow the way that a new hire new world
you’re my days at home like guy

yeah I’ll love Coriolis shake your

I can’t sell your help you now

hell I’m just up i’m concerned. cuz she
picked to know that I

and I fear what’s gonna come next this

she’s picking the inside her asshole
it’s just flicking crusty

approved because the apartment some
dingleberries seized as rubbing your

her ass across the carpet like a dog now
registered snail trailing the entire

players Sol

mel has tags male yeah the

you got it like you added children

you gotta do let her do yield this is
like a seinfeld the in

yeah this so odd she picked your nose

she is there was a big belly to play
with a satellite yeah

worries she like if she sees a crab if
you can

only the he you gonna cavity like
scratching his nose yeah I like the

girlies day like theater images like

haha yeah music don’t know other big
however good the real surprise to be

that late

she pulled up in a cab next is that when
she was dating that’s pretty crazy yet

what are the odds that never happened

I that’s what the others that should
have been about remember when I was

went as visiting New York before I moved
here my cousin lived here

the ad then what year anyway well let it

is only what happened after ivy league
now yeah it’s like it was there is

significant lag

I it that the Joker be interrupting your

on earlier than I realized that last set
in-line hey we pulled up where the hell

agree on the six train are gonna get
theirs and I

the hood pulled into yeah the let the
station I

and like right in front of the station
okay my cousin

just like I was on the train he was
right in front of the door yes army

and I was like I AP and he was like this
is insane because like up

without having New York in the know if
that doesn’t work like that yeah

this could be the lengthy you I hate
when people don’t react a coincidence as

much as they should like to

I like a I’ll

attorney thing a good example I meet
someone at a party

like is your birthday january 30 that

I just guessed it I’m I guess the
correct lane you’re just like yeah

know now that is a fucking miracle I was
psychic now

and you don’t seem by just give other
exterior when you don’t give at all a

vicious no event the worse is like

but you get something correctly in some
elect you pride to subconsciously read

it before

but no i didnt really how are you
fucking guess how dare you I did I read

it I guess the capital love whatever
know is correct that and saying that the


that’s you but now you probably know I
believe you gave you think you guess the

capital okay that was a little much
rather than I

made out with a guy I swear to God I V
no hartford with values like

ok enough said it I just lookin made up
the word

hurt forward and they were like yeah
that the amazing

you that the the capital you gotta hier

bad example on that but you know what I

here’s another good example I was in
another good example you just came up

with one batter I was at

amir’s a good example a good example I
was in a NFL pick league last year where

you pick

every single game and then led and then
I had made another

I realize a year my friend realized that
we had picked every single Tampa Bay

game correctly were 16 NL

to call 16 quite clips in a row is
astronomically impossible like in the


one in millions very cool nobody it
doesn’t me it doesn’t seem like a


and I you don’t get it cool man if I
tied up call heads or tails and you

could pick it correctly 16 times are we
could do that a million times. at odds

are wouldn’t have none I’m a doer

that I really would I let me know how to
get I and II goal

alright lets the right now quite right
now I don’t have a crime I like I love


John E Cheese put anything else call it
a call correctly three times a year ago

the attack by the way do you know the
odds is choosing it’s getting the


conflict three times in a row fifty
percent I

hello there the IQ bill look in your
eyes a village

I the idiot China is right fifty percent

I guided the big the time I

it’s like getting that Breaking Bad
avisar I felt like

and you know the metal we need is
injustice ago

live here p I the

and ethel was deliberately hurt her %uh
that they have the third

a jesse is like as you like build the
robot her

like or make something that make a
battery and

Walters like you extend up is like Jack
let’s let’s do it

like if you get this like when we doing

with your idea is a robot I

got that show so get yeah I rarely go
looking at going

you getting three correct one in eight
ready for this

ok first one heads

I’m gonna edit out the fact that I
dropped the client cannot find a rainout

I you the we don’t know where

where a flippin you flip it on your toes

heads right off the bat to maready yep

tales take each 50 that it wont

beard he said tailspin yeah Elise heads

balls I you did not using tragic

is does that do are buy gas that was
doing its

I so I do advises headsets tales a pig

what it dooo I write it is due to just
get over it come in all the shitty

picture no thats

if she’s great superfund sexy there’s
mad love in she cooks

you are in love with their on

after I let my try to really try to

nope can’t I heard as of: idea is that

can you really I mean meet there are
like little nit picky things like

I Y is too far around my ex’s and they

be like hey that’s disgusting stop like
I don’t know that there’s like that all

you can do

just youth completely went free to pick
your nose

yeah I the least maybe I’ll feel better
if you like teller its growth behavior

discuss the abilities are about to be
late play for the bigger actual ass or

it may be to pick earners lady like this
deal like this make go to fly rewrite

hunter speech the home oh yeah me

Pierre to you to be out there ya go

Zardari earlier I yeah and now got it
here’s my side

yeah I burn a house I am an athlete a
how I’ll bet you’re not gonna like it

but I like that a blood donor

I’ll tomorrow know her home what ya at
project all good ol


and all the judges that the growth for
picking an oath

you just you picture bugging earthscan
are there and then puked on her faith

danger daffy I

hmm a the fake name I used with Peter
but that’s not as you don’t have to

worry about that guy’s

yep alright where that bad are at around
the half-hour mark let’s take a little


from I that a good thing for our break I
thought I want to but I don’t know

are you what do you have I our new
styles and identities in et Los Angeles

oh yeah it’s really good well as you’re
gonna be the

what happened after the live show I know
it I grappelli

I I i’ma

let how would I go about it

but lap I you I we are out we’re out
with people yesterday and

I somebody had suspenders and just
putting them on like

jokingly made me feel cool yeah

and then I’m like %uh this is how it
starts you jokingly wear something that

sort of ostentatious

tutor straighter has a college your
article to the fund joke at becomes real

here happy

ok clearly at that I saw it happen did
well that’s what it is

30 people it’s a it’s sorta like you
with the mustache yeah yet though Tiger

leaders must add her head and then the
next time around like I think endlessly

mustache in an author tent-like

I have a mustache just lie like this
Mizer yet this is my look

the hardest thing about pulling up the
suspenders is well out

that mental a leap that I have to take
now where it’s not like

on where the suspenders as a joke a
somebody gave entry at a bar or

now as I went out now but the span I
wanted to wear suspenders

and I’m wearing suspenders but I think
it’s a cool style

I the if you like it then it’s like your

your heart is true Butler I really think

genuine and I think if you’re pure of
heart either you can wear the suspenders

and you will be ridiculed at the very
least you don’t deserve it could let

you’re not doing it to be cool Friday
because you felt

cool you felt good in them and you like
the way they look well just like another

a static up like a 50’s nerd thing
that’s now a cool thing

yeah totally and you said your thing is
gonna be

sleeve tax year amok would really just
goes to show you the differences between

us like I’m like

who will lead to change your suspenders
oh that’s kind of that’s kind of a big

little leap

and you’re like I want to permanently
make my arm colors

I I wanna for ever have color is here
its I’d really do think about just like

I mean a I don’t know why not I like

because it’ll be cool yeah it’ll look
cool for 10 years and then you’ll be a

old person with a sleeve that

my I think dad with sleeves are kinda
cool looking yeah but they’re called ads

but then they’re young but like imagine
what about

cool grandpa’s with sleeves definitely

idea only I only stay cool ok a
follow-up question

how do you design a sleeve that’s the
thing that I don’t like it. at the gate

can’t walk in

as a 28-year-old be a hi I’d like

I’d like my whole I’m done now what on
Oh whatever a sleaze

the have at it I also

I have three tattoos and I regret each
one of them

yeah it’s like a bad is so yeah tell me
it doesn’t it doesn’t bode well damn I i


three bad ones and then the thousand new

yeah it’s too I’m due for a great line
and it’s gonna take up my entire arm I

believed is also I’m like not likable

so I can I I could walk into a tattoo
parlor not like a king you like help me

design a sleeve unlike you had now

you cannot I come in here with an idea
my god totally a I’m sorry

i buy like too intimidated to go in and
talk to someone about a tattoo

a way you love as much a so much that
you get a sleeve love

I think Lake the promise your love
they’re just like text messages yes I

like when my

my forearm is like the tender flesh I’m
not like

up here on by set that’s going to be my
hinge Diego hinge

a yeah and the OK Cupid logo the OKC

and this is like the tech like the SMS
the tax icon is pretty cool heard area

have like the phone icon with like

lookin know through it %uh yeah met

old think so I just text messages like
I’ll my

no I don’t think they are a yen I soon

and I don’t know I like cum like usually
sleeves have themes right

I like I mean I i likey nature a lot
maybe there’s some kinda like your a

yosemite landscape that be cool

I like birds are like hawks I could say
I think I’m gonna get like girl I guess

like Atlanta Hawks player like die with
I will I’ve always wanted a hawk that to


which shocks but Webb I night

and well I why I told her what happened
after the Littlefield chain up about

that actually

I am to reach an answer one or two more
questions them down

you know arty here wanna remember only
said this podcast we have an hour-long

Andrew we were lying about having our
short yeah me I

oh well and at my new left now

I’d chose that it shows me don’t make me
laugh a mere

please don’t make me laugh again


your lap is tarzan fucking mislaid

her laugh again no

I am a murse

redding’s your last question maybe

hey dudes other song comes from porky
the pig

well I like this already yes china

stay focused it’s a little bit a little
bit longer I’m gonna

pop on okay feel nah I A

issued I do you agree and Italian
regulating public node on your not gonna

lose the man

on a regular will you the world who Luke

like me looking don’t say goodbye don’t
say goodbye

you know something on I

guys I have an issue with girls I’ve
been described as funny and charming and

I generally have no problem confidently
talking to anyone

opposite sex or not when I’m having a
fun night out

but recently I found myself feel like
the ugly duckling up my grouper friends

I don’t think that I’m a bad looking
young man but when I see I’m with my

friends are kinda like Jay can have
about three girls at a time chasing

after them

and makes me think what’s wrong with me
maybe just a confidence issue but

whatever I’m out drinking with my
friends I can’t seem to hook up with a

girl that I find interesting but my
friends seem to have no trouble with it

and end up getting with the girls I try
to impress is it just that I don’t feel

comfortable in a club since I can’t
really talk

so than my looks are the main selling
point with a girl is it that I have to

rethink how I approach girls at a club

is it that those girls that I’m trying
to press just aren’t the right sort of

girls for me

or is it something else that I’m
completely oblivious deal

do you ever feel like this a mere when
you’re hanging out with Jake while

porky the pig to you yes i do. it was
sort of condescending and funny to read

it but yeah I mean

when you’re out with people that I are

much more successful with the ladies you
have to like okay

rethink your approach I your success
with ladies but I’m not as successful

this guys like worried that I’m hanging
out with people that are

more successful girls which is gonna
happen I mean not everybody is great at


I mean at I mean it happens to be a tear
I would I go out

guys you had better luck with growth

but this guy sort of going through I
think way

I go through which is like when you go
out to certain places

it’s filled with ladies that is not the
Year title lady

yeah like this guy’s a strong suit is

being charming and funny and it’s hard
to be charming and funny

where and it’s sweaty loud and dancy

You Can Dance money yeah that’s a that’s
a good tip

dancing you could always just dance yet
that’s a that’s a good advice in general

I think I heard somebody I think maybe
was Chris get thirty said on the Pete

Holmes by cast

but that’s a really good advice is
always a Just Dance nobody is good at


but girls like guys that are just
dancing yeah an

you’re not going to be great but year at
least gonna be dancing

just yet have fun be inclusive dance

also I would say will try to like go to

some places that play To Your Strengths
where you can talk to people yeah like a

calculus review session

yeah that’s 20 people roll their hope it
will usually answer questions have

people that are like

lacked self awareness in this guys like
hyper self-aware guys too much


it’s kismet may be getting goes had
actually come out with us dude

bacteria he steals all my girls women I

you belive to read it is podcast I i
think i

I mean also be your charming and you
talk to people

it’s an is not always about just like
going home in meeting somebody that


starr & start making group of friends

and like then you can invite people out
right away like say you meet somebody

each arm them talk to them say hey you
to come out with me and my friends

maybe she comes with about two friends
and on the way they’re they’re like

oh you have to meet porky the pig is
like schools and the funny

so then I think they’re coming into view
you in a positive light units like

expand your circle so you not just like
rolling to a club or a bar with four

dudes trying to like take checks all

right and I’ll show up in like have a

have more I have friends had rosemeade
there right I mean first of all

this is friday where a lot of people and
where it’s like I’m

fine-looking I’m charming enough and I’m
funny enough but it’s just not hitting

right I’m cool with people give me a
chance right but it’s is at first

that first chance right usually based on
looks alone

and you have to be sorted in yet it’s
this delicate balance irv you have to be


but not overly confident yet like you
have to be confident your abilities but

also not over crowd somebody

yeah it’s weird tell you what men on it
comes to me naturally so like

I Dec the don’t be you

be me yeah I think just the trust your

and hope that it’s the same as mine but
not I

then so but yeah I had we is

specific question ever is it that I have
to rethink how I approach girls in the

club environment

I think you’re approaching them
incorrectly I think you’re just go eat

is not gonna happen in a cloud

yeah like guys that are great in the
club environment our way

like a tall

%uh physically a imposing a great

confident do donahue daylight clubs or
like guys with

tables bottle service you get is like
spent Mad Money get bottle service

have you thought about perhaps making
models nervous maybe that could

do you have a model’s nervous then you
have gotten the bottles

I a good place to meet I feel like for

for this type a person a game I can a
person your dude

had a good place to do it is birthday
parties yeah

if it’s know any place that’s friend
Jens friends friends friend is the way

to go

yet I’ll grant your friends cousin your
ex’s friend I find it helps to be funny

in their proximity but not necessarily

at them yes just funny around the lake
who’s this funny guy who’s not


cornering me at a party display always

smiling yeah I find out how all the time
you even like

when I if I like I’m near girls I’ll
just like start smiling and laughing

with my friends cuz it’s like oh those
people having fun when you’re out you

want to be around people having fun

right on people are like fighting or
angry or sad there

it was a if you’d like over the summer
something that I will i were now

with somebody was like the ended the
night like four we like really what we

needed me a girl the entire

made I can’t say Tuesday I

anyway alright are were whiskey

like okay we’re gonna go to camp located
far back in history we walked in

walk to the back walked out David I like
walked in I saw davis

pointing out the door like is shaking I
not nothing good at Lehigh

for global we love our causes three what
did took a lap

dislike straight business I just like
supermarkets we believe david of course

we don’t know what we what are they want
all that when a cameo

like four blocks away we walked in
walked in the back

like there’s nothing and David like I
should I should go to crown their

which is like eight blocks from there
and I was like you know it man

I think not I we’re not putting out

the by up like being nice cool by going
well with that guy who just

raining here looked around six times and
sprinted out

I think he’s my soulmate it is there’s
Pied Piper of pussy

the idea yet like you act like you know
what the shit thus the leadership for


said with respect as slinging ce act
like you don’t need the shit you get the

ship for free

celebrities don’t have to the rich
people don’t have to pay for things that

so weird and I were extract

the repair yeah rich people get stuff
for free yeah

and they wonder why one percent of the
population as eighty percent above

I mean look at the numbers in the mall
look at the numbers were talking about I

might add an icon is on talking about a
more even distribution cabaret months

its is absolutely a bullet simple math
its reaganomics its economic it’s

trickle-down initial down to them Carter
Thomas does it apply

have about tabatha Tucker the body wants
what I want the crust

or the crust this is me at the club
docking a girl

I up also what about a OK Cupid for this

yet you try online dating for sure
because that’s a great way to just beef

lot of profiles are people who are not
funny if you could be charming wedding

in writing

that’s a good way to go yeah but the
biggest thing is it like necessarily

I need to meet girls it’s like I want to
be on the same level as my friends and I

think you might have to accept that year

that you’re not gonna do well when your
friends go to the club but you got up to

go somewhere after the club

you start saying I let’s go to an
afterparty right and you’re the one

that’s like charming and funny and cool

panel that more to your strength and
don’t get jealous don’t be like hateful

because that’s when you really start to
fall apart

right all girls have friends your
friends can hook up with people

and like there’s a that is good mean
like your circle of people’s expanding

there’s more girls

the more girls they hook up with the
better it is for you yeah

I have to hang out with you more I think
no you don’t I

if anything I have de leur you do you
push people away

and I don’t mean that in like it like
some sorta

a like oh no the vibe is that you like
yesterday when we were out

you push to go through the ground yeah
she was a costing you

yes he was dancing with you is robbing
you I see you yet know she had her hand

lay on my back pocket yeah I already did
read it as slight Bureau our list said

absolutely rather the back alley happy
with it please recalled are you

I said I said chick magnet now I’m a

a hag met and Isaac I has a I

to shove your yeah you from the back in
the car

kicked out the windows you tackle the
arresting officer and making a citizen’s


this is a more than a legal I dragged
out at the precinct in a

they could they handcuffed me actually
make a citizen’s arrest at a police


a I’m gonna go on record as stating

yes no I’ll I that like walking into a
courtroom in sentencing the judge to


resort that so you know you drill your
thing you excuse me oh we had so many

comments about Movember

being started in Australia act funny I
want to trivia night at a bar that night

and I was like it was right after we
answer the question about Movember being


and he’s like this November actually
started in this

a city which is near the like the Yo La

and I didn’t get it but I was like I
think somebody Mike

a group is I think its Australian yes I
think it is chilly and we guess Sydney

because Melbourne

oh wow so it almost almost helped us out
really close

I unfortunately her we lost

and the podcast goes on because the
grand prize was gonna be enough money to


really yeah you plain truth yeah how is
weighing in at Harrah’s Casino either

the word for them

I it was a twenty nine hundred dollar
buy in

6,000 entrant main event 1 million
dollar prize Larry in a maze ing it was

more lucrative than then jeopardy at Big
Z aboard yet

absolutely a it nobody’s one that much

on Jeopardy i right all right all right
we’re at a time

let’s let’s hit the road Jack hidden and
we will come back no more no more no

more new welcome back evermore when

I we’re releasing his podcast on
Thursday which means the first day of

our life to earn my goodness

tonight we’re gonna be in our leading
and night never gonna Philadelphia

Burlington Boston Ann Arbor Madison
Chicago Minneapolis wanna see you please

come out say I

hang out and I would be fun to China

make it a situation where not only we
get to perform in front of our parents

but then

we get we we we get money we really
should money

it’s that all really have a really good
at all that we really want everybody’s

idea could we do our

we love money other belongings find
travelers find

fans are cool I guess but nobody is what
all about let’s say you got a live in

Florida I’ll come to Florida don’t I
wanna come to Florida you bite it

demands and you don’t show up yeah I
would return

we are the one person you don’t you have
to come to the freaking proud to buy a

ticket any want to buy touted

is called you guys there is called
nagging okay I’m and we think it works

we think everybody that law got back now
buying a ticket

them as it shows sold out gotta go to
governor for Miami

well let’s see if there is ever David L
or you guys made maximum money back so

it adds

the I it a perfect game going but now
it’s EVA

a so please yes do try to come out and
hang out with us it’s going to be fun

for sure you wanna hang you wanna chill
we want it because these are places that

we never been to before

it’s true I’m excited to see Madison me
till I’m excited I’m and I’m excited to

be nnnnnn nnnnnn we’re also been a bit
have not a little bit earlier

I’m because we were in wearin mill arm

Minneapolis yeah but we’re in we’re in
the space for a little bit we didn’t

haying yang and we’re hanging heart this
shit don’t touch the cord

absolutely don’t touch the microphone
cord but it’s so there’s static

and then people complaining I read the
comments and it kills me because Jay

played with the maker loneliness

yeah I Yahoo good sign on

hey this is the last part yeah the
prayers I don’t do their duty scolded

like a child up

you the hour still accepting theme song
submission so please

keep uncommon the first autumn somebody
named Peter and this last one is for

someone named Karen

now it might be the case for the first
one was from someone named Karen

the last answer someone named Peter I
was able to put those names my short

term memory bank

but don’t remember the exact order which
I receive them

so I’ll place enjoy enjoy this theme Sun

from either Peter or cured in perfect
thanks guys

if I the year and so he learned

see the the room


see she’s done car

that that that was are absurd thanks
again to LegalZoom for being such a cool

sponsor so please

checker LegalZoom dot com if you have
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