Episode 42: Paranoid


In this episode we discuss fiancés, fugliness, and foreskins.

This episode is brought to you by OurTunez.com! Discover new music, upload your music, make money, and win a trip to Bonnaroo, all in one magical website. Thanks to Limitless, Meteor vs. Dinosaur, Modern Chemistry, Tommy Steele, Dawn & Hawkes for signing up last week!


hate is absurd rocky by our tunes please
enjoy Wow

two wires I like editorial yeah

special apply they beat as nine cents
that’s all they get is a real then you

know you’re not in charge anymore

epic is I feel like we need a new head a
bad self charging people nine cents for


yeah you needed to focus on the on the
recording in the ending in the posting

promoting I write million

will find someone else to do the ad shit
all right you know I sure as hell not

gonna do it

I you i’m talking about hiring someone
else to talk about our to know that our

tunes dot com

oh you RT UN easy dot com

our tunes and if you didn’t hear about
it before check it out now

its Indian mainstream music on the same
stage you know you’re tired of hearing

the same songs on Pandora

every single day your will you hear
something new

every time you use our two it’s also
really nice way to build your

like your music credibility you know
exactly right

they have a website and they also have a
fried streaming music

iPhone app and an Android app coming
soon hell yah

not enough well if you’re in artist that
you upload songs hour tonight we know

we at the Mart is listening we sent yes
and spins on you know

that’s right the royalties they pay any
artist is more than any other music

streaming site

see you not only make money you gain

people not only listen to an hour to his
ball also pay about some bands right now

i’m talking about. limitless media
servers dinosaur

modern chemistry Tommy Steele and Don
and harks

the circle band names yet due to media
servers dinosaur that the best penny

I media I might never gonna listen to
them because I wanna just imagine you’re

the perfect band will I am gonna listen
to them

when I listen to them on our tune the
doc i just Macklemore

I spoke merserve the Macklemore songs
that would be your I think that the only

payment they could play that would make
you have your paper better get that

would steer in the direction of ok over
Macklemore Sun

let the and if that isn’t enough you can
also win a trip to Bonnaroo

they’re sending people to borrow in 2014
they’re having a contest where all

expenses are paid a flyout they put you

the whole nine yards cell discover music

make money off your music and
potentially win a trip to Bonner

you know what our tunes in a huge huge
huge mega corporation

it’s a smallish site that needs all the
help we

can hopefully give it serve you at your
computer it really help us out

and all really help them out to check
out www dot our tunes

with dizzy at the end dot com that’s it
enjoy this episode

dare I say think Gary

yeah I do is leave their like that they

they actually did they finally got
absolutely and one israeli differential

and a real

enjoy the show sure moment himself in

had here and here

brass head do not see


mama have but it

get naked in my happened only get ahead

good cements drink have the girl

team huh yeah

just heat snapchat her back pancake some

tell them I think they could have swore

well hashing

home haven’t even seen a team hmmm

hull just do Canyon shell

welcome so good I

so good it sounded a lot like that I
royal saw action I think was original


let it was an original song well okay
the words are definitely different than

the Royal songs so that makes it

legal I that way we can area herron

sir your honor it’s the its

week in area because it’s because the
word the different and because lowered

herself doesn’t listen to the podcast

yet year shit in three years when she’s

a homeless for some reason again
dreaming and Royals he’s gonna listen as

bike as in like wait a minute

they made money off my song we believe

I that’s all that’s good that’s going to
be our case to add your honor

yeah your honor anyway that was Scion

sky and Meghan yet I’ll robot and

yet this is if I were you the only
advice podcast on the Internet

hosted by us on a mere and I’m Jake

I am new location yet again

yeah basement in Brooklyn this is

this this this podcast is a girl oral
history a Pirate Day keyless

the de novembre well after its
technically December

her recording this Sunday at 11:15 p.m.
it’s supposed to go this episode

supposed to go up at midnight it’s not
going to happen

we’re cutting it that close this is
borderline a live stream

right how that this is the closest we’ve
ever ever ever gone from recorded the

posting yeah

um it yeah well hopefully it doesn’t
come back to bite us in the butt

it should be the same right it doesn’t
matter they had I think with we still do

the same thing I wind

definitely I’ve never recorded this
podcast feeling more depressed than he

is right now

well as that reopen you go pretty low I
yeah I guess the weekend after my


through the link below it I loosely I
want to get your nervous breakdown

as a break fodder oh yaaaa there over
the rate that is that good incentivize

be able to listen by DJ governors

I why did he at one point just let’s tee
is a single moment you outside my house

screaming into the palm of your hands
trying to

contain this rage that you just couldn’t
get him

model up up and

so that’s where we start let’s let’s
rewind and explain with the show’s about

basically this is an advice podcast
people find themselves in difficult

places the email us

at a fire usually gmail dot com we come
through all the emails and decide on

four questions or five questions to
answer over the course the absurd and we

do our best to advise these people at
their predicament sometimes we do it

well and sometimes we do it poorly

but hopefully it’s entertaining
nonetheless yeah

haha that’s about right yeah

at the quick that a quick way to say it
this is good I feel like

I ed I E R would right into our podcast
as person right now

okay good %uh because you’re in a
difficult place to live conundrum hero

on but let’s save it for the break and
let’s go ahead to the years isn’t

specific years

years is not out a big problem in an
otherwise good life your life is just a

series shambles the Anna

where do you even begin to a fix a
broken play to see if I can you answer

my question

reactors great I they do this is Howard
this is this our bills

that our bug inbio no wonder people love

I in who I’ll adjust let’s go right into
it huh

why not why waste any time yeah well
then there was the time I now

lebanon exactly why waste time as
yesterday do you know I think

who lol a doubt I’ll okay got it you’re

yes which because person Italy um

for out for business traver miss Anna is
that a fake name to a real email

real person real problem Sudan to

anonymity ready yes question number one

hey guys last weekend I went to my
friend’s engagement party it was really

nice since I’ve been a pretty solid
third wheel from the start

even in the speech I made a note of the
fact that I’ve heard them have sex more

times than I’ve had sex

however we went back to their place the
heating was off

and it is Scotland so it was pretty damn
cold the couple insisted on me sharing

the bed with them

and being drunk and tired I agreed

during the night I was shivering and the
man put his arm around me too

keep me warm soon afterwards he was
full-on spooning me

and I was trying to keep his hands in
appropriate places

while trying to avoid the boner he was
pushing into me and trying to be polite

when it got to the point when he was
trying to pull my hips into him and I

said I was going to sleep on sofa

he told me not to tell the girl because
it would make ur quote paranoid

I don’t know to do from here I feel like
I should tell the girl but she has gone

through a really difficult time

and this guy made her really happy
however they’re really on

17 so she would be able to fall in love
again to

I really don’t wanna start something but
since then I don’t want to spend too

much time with them

am I overreacting any advice would be
great many todas

for how for how you’re under reacted I

were drastically and severely under

reacted your under selling the situation

you were a borderline molested a
borderline you were molested

I by your friend is

a fiance a who’s 17 yeppers the vault

what visited both I think even viewed as
I hate my friends getting married there

seventeen abas stop right there

a bad idea right off the bat don’t get
married at 17

that a little Crake red its budget is
someone who quote

spooned and then try to pull his hips in

yeah and you felt his boner a boner all
why were you trying to be polite

is what I were doing so he’s groping you
rubbing your body ways that you don’t


and he is your also your your friends

and you are just politely trying to keep
his hands in appropriate places yes he


scream murder when that happened it sees
that he told me not to tell the girls

because they would maker

quote paranoid now paranoia seems like

he’s under selling it which apparently
is like delusional sky a frightening

know it

paranoia is like a fear of something
that’s not really at this would be a

very substantiated actual fear

write this with I’m afraid that would
make her aware I

I’m afraid that would be a out me as the
cheats in a heater

had sheets men have sort those teller
for fear that she

a she becomes a aware of me being an

I’m afraid you’ll become so paranoid
chill suspect that I am a

doing what I am doing which is pulling
my boner into my friends

would might be out his friend while
she’s in the bed while she’s in the bed

but she does say this is scotland

is that an excuse who this happen in
Scotland I’ve never been there but I’d

like to go

I I’d like to be a be on sale in
Scotland I would like to be spooned to

be perfectly honest

a good Scotland by this to buy this
paranoid bitches

stallion husband has this got some in
the Scotsman study the Scotsman’s

died with his with his boner apps steal
it is a roving hands

do ease the he’s a hero he’s the hero
Scotland hazard he’s a regular

braveheart I really big is braveheart

the I of course were kidding he should
have his penis amputated

he deserves to be punched in the throat
for this has been is actually have

painted blue have

I regular dislike Priya Artspace they
didn’t take

they have he didn’t take my life but
they could never take my freak I’ll

upload still got em Lee are you a good

your day I do you know here’s what you

you should do I think you should tell
your friend what happened I think you

should tell

tell the boyfriend a actually no I don’t
tell him he deserves nothing

tell tell your friend what happened the
oceans to deal with it see a chance to

play it I had to make you’re paranoid

yeah nothing and only her apparently

100 like think a Lee Ann’s are out there
something like that right

also they just years like I wanna tell
her cuz she’s been through a hard time

well this would make it a harder time if
you just let her mary i’d

decade you know literally shut his dicks

into you in bed in his digs bed

I yeah I think this is like there’s no
she’s gonna go through another bad thing

if he there yet

this hard truth or a harder life but she
is 17

you shouldn’t be engaged at this age I
think might wanna bet someone passed

their teenage years to see if there an
actual good first woman I’ve been with

them since we were 16 so it’d be like i
know im

how different are you now than you were
when you were 17

I’m a different human at why would you
why would why would somebody hits their

wagon to someone who still changing

yeah I don’t even know the people don t
look the same at 817 827 3747 right

there yet course

you wanna lick you wanna wait until the
cookie is fully baked before

eating it that his I can’t tell a big
deal at all

I think it’s profound but I also figured
is talking about could see you voters be


you I think you accidentally is not
about cookie the Avengers day in

all right now I know you’re talking
about her okay now let’s talk about this

person I just feel like he’s not a good

the bad guy ed there’s no reason to get
married at 17 and I i advise mo

17-year-old to break up

yeah let alone not get married be single
finish cooking

yeah Isles you haven’t you haven’t
figured out who you are either yet

that which you can even ask if with a I
get ready get like

reliving the real real love the right
now if you’d like my boyfriend

my girlfriends friends but I hope
rendered whatever put his dick on my


what do i do we like alright examine

I duplicate nearly are you who you want
to be

if you’re seventeen you’re not who you
will be yet

yeah you are not you yet you are a

you.re have formed greasy mutant day I I
don’t think you should talk down to like

the the best

WRD there but I will say your

you’re right they’re not done for me but
things are happening when you’re 17 they

are gonna at

dead sorta like makeup foundation for
you become yeah and it’s failed

relationships that help do that

totally so they got that look this right
now at what’s happening for her is a


your good friends boyfriend made a move
on you

what do you do cuz like this is going to
shape the way you view your relationship

to your older

he failed the test but you don’t have to
damn right

year at Kirkey the yeah right letter

brownie with predicting dire yeah love
didn’t pass the perfect de vere

you’re whipped cream yet it’s like
you’re in the 11th inning hig

had a beast and I’m not alright back

hmm alright Han next question yes

let’s do it let’s do it we need a dude’s

do you have a dude I’ll will call this
guy Austin Powers

the app those easy right yeah if you
need me

the titular character actually speak of
course he’s a titular for this

look question number two Austin rights
yeah baby yeah lol married so down there

later that he did not

and I just like the baby i’d sagged a

yeah it is what this person actually
read in

and I’ve got a problem with my penis

the frikkin foreskin is attached to the
head and I can’t pull it back

yeah my wing still works as my smoke
show over girlfriend about that

but I’m worried about what other chicks
are gonna think about it I ran a quick

Google search her on stuff like this

and it’s not all that rare the problem
all it takes is a little quick trip to

the surgery and a little snack bar on
the attached

area I think I wanna do it the only

is I’m gonna have to talk to my parents
about it and it seems like the kinda

congo I don’t wanna have

I was there were some kinda way to fix
my dick while keeping a just between me

and the GF

so guys should I just man up and talk
about my cock

or is there another way around this shit
after all does it even matter as long as

my wonderful willie works thanks for the
help love Austin Powers

I should look it up on the picture this

is it doesn’t matter but i wanna see it
dick his the

did not abide attack I not as you how to
fix it

so we can understand there’s this typeof

dilemma which is more than just an
uncircumcised penis

right is like be honest his cert his I

yet so he has foreskin it just doesn’t
peel back from the head

it doesn’t matter what the problem is
the probability get there the the issue


should he be too ashamed to talk to his
parents about a

this problem that is having in order to
have surgery is there another way around


I mean if you need surgery at the at the
yes to tell the author parent if you’re

young enough

to not be able to afford your own health
insurance last surgery then you should

talk to your parents about

any medical problem I wonder do you just
go to the doctor

he can go to the doctor and like have a
conversation with his doctor

and then have the doctor have a
conversation with his parents he doesn’t

necessarily have to be like

mom dad I want to go to the doctor and
so you can look at my penis cuz there’s

this thing wrong with that or this thing
that I

you know perceived to be cosmetically
wrong with it maybe go to the doctor and

the doctor’s like oh yes like unhealthy
because they’re

you know bacteria can get in there and
you have to be able to wash your whole


the I mean that wasn’t supposed to be on
want to talk to my parents about it I

rather just

home live my life is a weird P now a guy
they never talk to my mom about my own

DX right now your mom doesn’t know you
have addictive drug really a perder find


yeah it’s okay to your mom you sucked on
your moms

to hit yeah right last two weeks dude
she’s it’s really got you book a guide

to sloppy second with your mama

you really want to have your licking it
clean it not to mention

buddy and the day you were born your
full on insider

dick and balls your head you were and
you were phased deep in your moms muff

your your

your moms click to scrape against your
face is the DOB yeah hold you outta her


okay I assure you it so you get down
there like your mom for nine months I

right I don’t know like when a dick is
formed by the it was in your mom pal

and that is like and follow that
discussed as you all the Brawley bathed

and clean that dick that you know I
thought I heard all about jazz or others


yeah yeah just like there is probably
like group appeared on your balls as

like an infinite your moms wipe it with
a sponge or whatever the fuck

let those guys 16 11 to that sixteen
years ago your mom is as clean in that


you don’t worry about talking here about
a little problem there have you trust me

she’s okay with this

like know what you have any shaven for
their parents my hair that CB at the

male was vulnerable the worst ever you
can you imagine him just being like

arm searle mom I have this problem I

my foreskin is still

and then the man like you oh my god
overly broad here bob

amethyst Boston you fucking psycho love
your mom she am

I austin don’t bring that shit in here

yeah I think it’s I mean

it’s like ripping off a bandaid and a
donut it. my blood year

P in but you just gotta mention its Bay
I want this done

its I don’t know or women it is like
ripping off a bandaid

Oj’s you back a lot about yeah %ah
grappling are rather than just us

just with your thumb and index holding
your no just just hold onto 1n really

really tightly in snugly sorta give it a
little shake liqueur

you think you’re washing out a sheet
always think it worked and

and then a rip it yeah read but I hope
they go bad and helped

under over good know a couple cover with
my mom actually

at least my smoke chauffeur girlfriend
is here he doesn’t really have a

smokejumper got that right

paid my penis is all fucked up but it’s
cool ask Mike fucking hot ass girlfriend

I’m just worried about our future hot
girlfriends that’ll have that I’m

might care about it more than my current
hot girlfriend us keep in mind

she is hot she is my girlfriend and I
have hair but a

I just read about other hot droppings
that’ll get be and I’m not just jerking

off to a picture in a magazine out
Natalie Portman okay

hidden in an issue that I assure you she
is as much a I can live all night

I wouldn t why wouldn’t she be a why
wouldn’t she be into me

so the advices talk to your mom color
that you have a weird penis

whatever you do don’t talk to your dad
about it he will smack that foreskin

right of the year oh yeah

knows I’d like to have a big problem
with his penis

that’s a that’s a that that reflects
poorly on the father actually

thats in fact Austin I’m really
disappointed that you brought this up

how do you think this makes me feel is
your father I i personally lost near

look at my dick

also what was supposed to look like here
da shit %uh gather more skin than

up with the Italian be inspected they ap
yeah it’s like a stocking

Jesus Corona it Yap you

it’s it’s so loosely other

I really am i covers the entire but it
looks like you’re going to a beige

colored tell you lady and I wish I was
that that is all for love you take it


Austin year old man is a the I fucked
the base stock and it never came off

and you know i i with too afraid to talk
to my parents about it he grew and grew

and grew and now look at where I am
looks like I got an elephant ride but I

swear to god my dick is a peanut at the
top with this

long skinny jap you long skinny share

left tire that’s that’s that’s more than
enough actually

you’re disgusting me Jesus Sep him

now just getting a call you could you
give your

I sorry I love that cried yeah

question numero 30 03 a moving right

was do it like it is an efficient absurd
that so that’s why we came here to do

and surgical slash the number three we
have another dude

in the Austin Powers arena big names get
doctor evil do not know care too much


there’s something about a miniature him
the are miniature him records

I one thousand dollars alright

doctor evil rights hey guys

so I recently got off school for winter
break and so did my girlfriend

she’s been traveling all sorts of fun
places with her family LA whole I it’s


but I’ve been stuck at school working at
but I’ve been stuck at school record by

job as a library clerk but I’ve been
stuck at school record my job at the

library clerk

as you can imagine library is completely
dead this time a year some bored outta

my mind

manning the circulation desk my
girlfriend knows this

but she keeps sending me snap chat and
text while I’m at work

about how much fun she’s having and I’d
be lying if I said I were next

I’d be lying if I said I was an
extremely jealous and I know I should be

happy for her

but there comes a point when it almost
seems like she’s consciously rubbing it

in my face

how can I tell a cool it without coming
off as an on cool dude

thanks doctor evil you are absolutely
unknown cool dude yeah

just based on the fact the work at the
library I

nerd alert nerd you’re right back to the

lol oh the nerd the nerd the nerd the
nerd guns they’re the near the nerd nerd

nerd sensors are firing on all cylinders

in 08 it’s actually just because it’s on
us yeah yeah

we have a pod I

we have a podcast podcast is how hard it
is to explain that the people

everyone is like oded like aside from
working ecology really calm

a radio DJ I have a podcast the lake bed
not updating ray

hours viewer you broadcast your own
little radio show do your

yeah hey things will turn up things will
turn around on

left I actually they won’t thanks clerk
at 7-11

I you they won’t turn around I think our
plan is the

God keep doing it hurts them she I guess
I can and I ideal world I

the actually do it more you know in a
weird way I have so much creative

control that I

like having up got podcast I’m so sorry
about my store

well as well as bad you’re not allowed
in any 7-11 I would like to at least

have a slushie please

yeah absolutely I a double

the drink governors I know I’ve deserved
it I

so this guy is shallow I I think yeah

your heart’s in the wrong place I

yet you and a your attitude that there’s
no redeeming character in hope you think

a nice thing would be to be happy for
your girlfriend I would use or to

understand you’re like

I know I he says like I know I should be
happy for a yeah

okay but you don’t really know that
because you’re not doing

I well maybe he is being so honest like
he’s not letting her know or at least I

hope at least that’s my advice don’t let
her know that you ever

at least one percent jealous of her yeah
I do have to be a hundred percent

supported excited

act as though you’re there when you get
these natural right

it rightly match not even not only does

but beat her be like I’m so happy for
you that awesome you’re the best

like ramp up the contact center boring
snapped at the viewer be like wish I

were where you were you know like

and Libya like actually you’ll get
yourself into it you end up feeling the

way you should

actually with the next emails from this
goes like my boyfriend keep sending the

boring as snapchat Swan kite surfing

really harsh my buzz lied my loser

works in a librarian listens to these
our dirty Jewish kid talk at some


yeah fake radio show I wanna hang
gliding the other day and he s not

showed me a picture of a book I was one
of the puke but only dust came out i

mean he is just a god damn poor show

um is it cool how do I tell her to cool
it without coming up isn’t cool

we’re gonna answer a different question
I whether or not I should tell Eric

Willett any answers now you should not
tell articles on political if anything

tell a wrap it up

yes a more pics Turner jealousy into
like a fire that fuels the or just like

you know

this is also some advice if you can’t
shake being

the jerk that you are I think you can

don’t be like yo you’re pissing me off
with these but try to steer the


in another direction you know talk about
something aside from vacations

and maybe you guys can agree on some
other subject that you can enjoy like

if she send you a picture above you know
her at the pool

you respond like how about you turn the
cam around send one have you in that


babe manages like ol oh my god now
getting high

you know her very has been a youth sexy
backing library Anna

yeah I you and i text you back in
library bet

here Dead got I N a minute later

your girlfriend back in hits and I lack
hours after it

how to put my dick in this book job
check this out here

is my dick next to an index card so you
can’t see I got it half the puck inside

I went over my dick in dickens’ baby
owes JA Hans D 80 and I’ll show you what

I L A to Tony’s

is like walking all still my Diggins a
dick in other now I’m going by committee

my hard thick dick it the dick in

pickens Sikkens don’t dismiss still miss
the Dewey Decimal System pedicure AdMob

all the Elko

I i cn i three wanna get wanted to

I we’re gonna figure out a way that you
could be had having a snapchat sex with

your girlfriend

okay suddenly thats good news for you
and for her

yeah there you go have ever tell jealous
the loved one

me yeah mean yeah

but yeah did you let her know no I

you follow your own advice a before you
even give it on the show

crazy last why it’s called if I were you
how because that’s what you would have

done because that’s what you did do

%uh I was you him

perhaps beautiful a ship ALG II yeah

that that moves me a wider

that was kinda lame goodbye roll over
time now it’s got a small inlay max

happens to me a lot

you know it I outside notebook at the UN
to cover this in book

ober a meaningful quotes though they
were all attributed to you

it was titled words that moved me by me

for me in lower every line

actually speaking up crying why don’t we
now get to you nervous breakdown

yes so were recording is on a Sunday

going out on a Monday not two days ago
on a Friday

your high tailing it back from Northern
California Southern California in a

rental car

down to my parents house so that you can

Obama at were busy where ru

where did where did all this come from
so after the tour

I went to Los Angeles yeah I’m

to you have to spend Thanksgiving with
my brother aka

I we drove up the coast of California

beautiful big serb real gorgeous great
good stuff with some cousins in Santa


beautiful relax our yeah it was super

perfect to decompress I yeah I i did.
decompress little bit the detox

I I didn’t yeah I deduct a little bit I
mean it’s it was always like

it’s very relaxing by the lake was at
home you know they still living at the


right it was nice is great see my
brother awesome see my cousin

I’m my cousin has little five-year-old
and she’s just like

lovely time she’s like medicine it was
great yeah like she’s the best

and then then I had to get back to New

by Saturday morning so I could move my
movers were coming

Saturday at noon so I needed to take a
red eye

a Friday night on Thanksgiving Day

I realized that I’d never bought my
flight say like there’s there like Girl

Friday night

time to check when my flight is yellow I
did buy one dude

a major searching on my phone it like my
cousins like where we play Barbies at me

like I did why

yeah pours out fuck where’s my one-sided

the local J I shit

world sure you like i remember this the
reason I thought that I but the tickets


a month before I head priced out all
these flights

found out the one that I needed was I go
out two hundred forty four dollars per

hour non-stop

read I that’s great okay I’ll anyway
time to start my computer and assume I

purchase the tickets so I never did

I ended up buying a five hundred dollar
ticket with the layover through

Philadelphia when where I had to

not only will get onto a too late

change terminals glad to get onto a
shuttle bus that took me outside admit

their power and the freezing cold

at 508 a at five in the morning but
before I before any that even happen cya

I’ve got this red eye that I need to
catch I need to drop my brother off

at school in Santa Barbara which is
about 300 miles south

up where you where and just like as
we’re going we’re not making any


and later and later I I finally like I
just like

after I drop him off I like my e.t.a was
like 7 p.m. I needed to drop the rent a

car off by a thing that is OK

but it broke her know it what the fuck
happened but

its it won’t ways like yeah and I’m not
begin until 7:45 nathan is like change

my panties I grab bags and he did bring
the rent a car

yeah I you need to do a lotta shit
return the rental car

get to the airport drop a few bags in my
pants South yet you’re pat your parents

had people over for Hannukah dinner at

you come over to my place your frazzled
as all shit news is like a people having

a lovely dinner bleh takes it down he
come on guys in

I did tell you this but I in the I was
in the driveway

I had to piss so bad that I was peeing
into a bottle they didn’t wanna like

run into your house and a cigarette to
the bathroom so they pee into a bottle

it’s sprayed everywhere got all over my
jeans all over the city of my

a car that was a sad end size came in a

incredibly uncomfortable re if pairs and
sweat and

edges like up you I was exhausted

oh my god and I needed to you

scarf that dinner and like making small
talk with like eight different people

and then there are two nieces to you

with their that was lovely I had a good
time there ahead

is very proudly as variable grilled you
about your situation that you without

your control

then while you’re looking while you’re
talking I was looking to see if

enterprise the current a place is even
open yet and it wasn’t yeah

and the like it doesn’t matter I was
gonna drive there and drop off my car

which i thought id like it was like the
movies or a library

you were usually I can I drop off the
keys in a box I swear to god I’ve done

that before

I got there all the gates are closed
order before you left you when I walked

out to your car to drive back to
enterprise and you shouted into your


buck buck I ok

and he said that you never had heard you
never had a nervous breakdown to cry

from stress but that’s as close as they

yeah I could imagine I mean I wanted to
I just couldn’t I would I will I didn’t

have enough time to cry by like

if I could have just stopped I would
have and I would have been a great

relief because I got there I got to the
rental car place

I E hit the car on a side street I
called you I was like

we I need you dislike come in return in
the morning

on either their my car anymore yeahh oh
my god so I took a bunch of pictures and

be well like running around with my back
try to get a ride to the airport with my

ex girlfriend

I the you send me like a picture where
your car is parked

you hid the keys under the license plate
hoping to God nobody steals his rental


your luckily nobody did a long look for
yeah and then you major red-eye middle


middle C through Philadelphia LAX to

the Mills the ass so many times to
change in everybody was so rude

be I I like I got there and I was like
trying to smooth out the dude as they

owe their necks the like as awful as
they were like whatever the give the

check in is like I’ma be as they get
their listeners like smile I could talk

to you you just

really trying to be smooth it was
working on him a little bit

and I waited till everybody got on the
plane I went up to the ticket agent the

header middle of the plate. notes: awful

as I will that everybody check in check
yeah I see others blue

that everybody checked and and there
there was like 45 yellows

I think what the others like that you
haven’t checked in yet a sec

that’s what I was asking and like that
can I see

speculate what about the others like
that’s awful

like I I went in as I alaskan others
another flight attendant as they headed

everybody check it’s a gap of life from

I a reliable than titled The like
somebody’s empty feet but I just felt

like the

univers owed me a solid him you didn’t
get it

and I got here I got all the way back to
my apartment

after two flights and the he was broke

my partner I just wanted to sleep for
two hours before the movers came and it

was just a frigid frigid

bicycle house 36 hours letters were here
right now

12 hours after that you’re listening to
this that’s how time were can you tell

what twelve hours from now we are on the
road to

Los Angeles yet again were driving the
adventure continues

so hopefully we’ll have more funny
stories from that I’m sure we get this

last question before we run at a time
before I break into a

that’s important ap I let’s do you

let’s get this guy ready I am will call
this guy

many me it whatever happened over dryer

deter it doesn’t matter

I it says the mic nested if you really

Yahoo alright Shasta McNasty what an
obscure reference

I I food a.m.

hey guys I’ve recently started a new
college and things are going pretty

smooth but I have a problem with the

unfairly unattractive and rather nerdy I
made an a video games et cetera

I have no problem with myself the
problem lies in that there’s a girl that

have been talking to it was very similar
to me

she’s into a lot of the same things I am
and personality wise we are fairly


perfect right wrong she’s bought ugly

scraggly pew bear horrible face and

unavoidably ugly features I thought she
was too ugly to date but her personality

is very redeeming

I realize I’m being a hypocrite but I
kick it around the way she looks

help no no if you don’t deserve al

you deserve no help you

while what an amazingly self-aware email

it’s not self-aware ago he’s unfairly
attacked and I bet he’s a fucking

I bury the dogs anus this kid but it’s
so funny they like she

perfect right wrong she’s bought ugly
yep you can save your ugly

yeah I accept your ugly inside and out

anything place is just ugly out yeah if

she shouldn’t go after you yeah your
personality is not redeeming

where her that is yours has failed you
know what do you bring to the table

you have you already said you’re
unattractive rather nerdy okay

but at least you have a nice personality
oh wait no you down because you’re

emailing us to read about this woman who
you say is ugly and you don’t know

whether or not you dated have no problem
with myself

right we can see that I you should have
a problem with yourself

age yeah it be different

I the way you are don’t scraggly pew
bear horrible

face yet generally unavoidably ugly
features don’t do you

I don’t do you change who you iraq

chain heal the man you are need to not

bat he at Mackay what you all are now

shouldn’t be you next time we see you
don’t simplify

you as you is is bad

I not good be another way

with the way you are now is not a good
way that you are

you should be it away that’s not the way
you are

changed to be different will be accepted

good good job not you someone else new

I new guy new guy new guy

alone new guy actually right into the
email hey guys I’m fairly attractive in

rather nerdy luckily for me I found a
woman with a similar personality is who

excel sleep ruling early share we’re
both not

traditionally attractive but that
doesn’t matter because we get along so

well because our personalities

a we laugh about the fact that you know
some people look at us and think work

eventually unattractive but you know

to us we’re perfect what we have is real
of white guy

you changed man will allow it the taste

that the right thing the real time did
you see that

good relations you it’s a miracle you’re
no longer you

we saved him we thank them

we can rebuild them any should be
rebuilt are men

for right now he is not good you’re not
good sir

I group but thanks for reading is then
at least we’ve we’ve been able to at

least guide you in the right direction

you’re like a blind hamster by hitting a
wall over and over and we

lifted you up in turn you around facing
the road towards recover a I hope

I wish II per chance a dream

I W you beautiful hamster another

you you level you level hamster Roach

your rodent bastard my son now set LAX

I I’m I don’t know if you have anything
to say about that

I saw a fat fucking cockroach in this

now was funny getting your leaving this
place kudos cockroach infested basin

I’ll miss it I University hey this
continues our streak at like 45

consecutive podcast

recorded in different spaces yeah and
it’s only gonna continue

come there’s a wild ride here to pick
its we r untethered

influx yeah butter can think a guy I’d
rather be there with

be than my own person hey you’re not too
bad yourself

I broza maybe Jeff and a the

I you’re definitely in the top 500

yes well mardian steal you pushes you
out streeter

your sex top ten oh not bad with you
don’t get a medal

but at the same time you’re going to be
a top ten list yep

yeah oh and let’s talk about King girls
because then blew game-changer

herself I mean ass easily just like well
my family

befriends say Romney and the I’m in the
top 10 min three that were

defense then we can but there’s a little
early to knock out

right now it is not counting right
you’re not venture 9 chill

it’s good stop thinking about it love
read the more time you read the more

people that on a giancarlo pushed you to
11 body arms

0 a few

11 is the worst prime number in there

rutile plop are right that’s our time

but thanks so much for listening
everybody and

if you have your arms you can email us
at if I reseller gmail.com also

that opening theme song that was an
original that was one of a kind we take

new theme songs

every single episode in open and closed
the show with them

so that one was by I think Scion Megan
where their names

and this last one is by somebody named

Andrew thanks button think you can beat
’em we’d love to hear your try

you no no I will

but really guy could it is that oh no
good I only fell asleep yeah

died it was you were you Ono I closer I

it turns out you’re only asleep and not
dead debit

I alright cool see it there’s their body

say bye base faith

text me on

my time









Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *