Episode 49: Jewish (with Micah Hurwitz)


Jake’s little brother joins us to discuss religion, ex-boyfriends, and breaking Jake’s nose.

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episode it is a pretty cool episode

one checks brother joined us and to
things got real

which was up sort of a unique situation
trusses nice behind his

the finally happen after have their kept
their about a

48 up yeah it’s been a gated hi I’m a
little while

and things got real is over please enjoy
this very real episode

%uh if I were you thanks again slutbag
you know

a lot of us in this world get stuck in
difficult places

stingy situations are snafus

and sometimes we laxalt Marian

or an objective perspective but

there’s two guys who can help us

in and simultaneously make a slam does

Thursday he hopes his wife right his
play let’s face it

it’s like is a big that’s why he needs
to be male attention

sex but no connection he’s a Greek God
God with the barely

my complexion and a beer the bright eyed
handsome June a tad

30 but he’s got well computer let me

you to the safety issue podcast hosted
by to choose if I do you dream

cell nailed it better finally

yeah I think that was actually Eminem
and we thank you national

I know that actually a ruff Cutta rap
got yeah and saying yeah

it and that was slow down from three
seconds he did it so quickly we slow

down and it sounded exactly like you’d
lose yourself crazy it’s actually a

second lose yourself theme song the
first one went off the rails a little

bit but this one yeah

this runny really figured it out reeled
in now it is a game Sammy

thanks anne appreciate it a this is a
fiery the only by Spike ass on the

Internet has to buy a house on a mere

and I’m Jake and we have a a little
helper special guest dude

tailhole lol al Qaeda sending love you
too little helper

yeah other special little guy later
turned a tape

al I we’re here with Jake’s little
brother Micah

mike is a high hey I’m honored to be
here you are more divided the air you

hate it

you’re holding the microphone like a
stinky banana there anything ever in

this room is your socks

it I’ve never spell Michael was like I
did I smell bad and there’s a

again again till hole maybe it’s my
socks and they smell them

and it smelled like instead of a foot in
there was a lot of shit

bitterly hitler gets be I just did I’m
pretty far away from his socks right now

and I could smell them

it channels like wet sweat gotta go on
like a turbo vette

but I 9 a.m. bears

let and publicly shamed yeah well we’ll
get really a get yeah and I was like no

one’s gonna be able to hear you

yeah get ready to enter yeah yeah are
you on blast right now because I just

want people to hear you

lol but that’s great that’s perfect
angered house

has college going for you we don’t we
don’t really get interactive many

college people

yeah it’s pretty good it’s pretty good
so far it’s not pretty it made me think

it’s what you

the second year sophomore sophomore yeah

where you go to college at UC Santa
Barbara I’m asking cuz I’m not trying to


lightner audience I literally have no
idea I have Jesus other

I II in four years it has a weird yeah

and israeli be here day and this is what
you wanted to do but yeah

this reunion to have been on a podcast I
guess I don’t give a fuck

i do. yeah this is my house

a few is my home you you bring was
bigger these transient this shit footed


I use shit put it at the center is heidi
is be

ever heard of those someone is
sure-footed makers should proceed

and that’s for shit a servo

Micah I know you’ve never seen anything
checks every dance 1x 20 had this little

podcast show works basically people
right in there

difficult places therein they they’re
needed advice basically in some way

shape performance so they’ll email us
and we do our best to answer these

questions and help these people out of
their predicaments

I sometimes it’s just us to incent as we
have a guest and we figured

hey you’re here you might as well I
chime in with a 20-year-old

respective your really downplaying the
pic so does were

sometimes it just doesn’t have a guest
today it’s early yet we have a little

million and

a little love a little half J kaiser bun

we ate we could give you let’s have a
microphone yeah

Iran’s gonna cut that cord right there
you just don’t like you aided

it’s like it it’s like when you give the
little kid shave with a razor with


we are what we’re doing right now mike
is sitting on Jake’s lab and after

sharing a major factor to let you drive
by it

had that then I am right

a ready to jet help us out alia I don’t
get too confident actually be better

the pizza is going to be the brothers
actually other major done in the lab as

I’m gonna

it’s going to be the real brothers me NJ
know the real brothers you and Micah

I can’t yeah other is also one of those
episodes that were drinking a little

during the show

oh yeah another special one not like a
his twenty tough course I mean he can’t

drink not at UC Santa Barbara the

0 not yelling just getting those
claiming I would never smoke weed if

on the show on the show yeah um alright

we’re gonna ask you some fine by the way
with smoke weed on the show

just it so we know are I tell you I wish
to do it hovers over high

I’m afraid to do that I could really
address to the smoke weed

I I’ve smoked a marijuana joint before

it is gets me a little introspective has
smoked a fatty

about Joe be funny on hit what’s the
problem I contemplate my life by

accident chick gets like sad when a lot

um I you wanna die roten let’s do it a

right rear these are real hmm excuse me

fragment their enslaving mike is putting
a spell on

I get the third from the start do

it’s like him boozing down my ass off

for the reader you have the toe in your
value beans steam

good a aright I am

what’s a good theme for I these fake
names dnt lyk TT share movies they know

our characters from

yeah me neither Lorraine’s okay love the
ranks at anybody done that already

that’s okay that’s okay I got it’s
absurd you know forty nine or whatever

we can

we can forge a little bit fair enough so
I this one comes from in a guy’s name

from lower the rent in Li

gimli nice quick with Ghibli crews

do you know that he doesn’t really

been and alright gimli rights hey guys

I got a girl problem this year my dad
got a new job in my entire family had to


for the first few weeks at my new school
I knew literally nobody

and my first real friend was a girl in
my band class

it turns out we’re interested in a lot
of the same things so we started hanging

out almost every day for the next month

I finally got the courage to ask her out
and she said yes

sounds great right nope turns out she’s
a jewel

I’m a passionate atheist and could never
be in a serious relationship with the


should I break things of urs stick
around and try to get some

I know you guys like to make fun of
people but I would really appreciate

some serious advice as well

Thanksgiving Lee told gillooly I

you had a perfect game going to give all
on your axe sir

I code area 0 just this this story got
99 percent towards happily ever after

you know the

to go huge rate anti-semitic turn look
at Teen Movie it was so nice

I moved I as a girl out my band where we
became friends and I asked her and she

said yes and then

sorry no she’s a dirty slutty rack June

by the way you know who else might be an

a lot of the Jews you me you probably
were also quote unquote Christian so

this girl can also be a quote unquote

goin also be is atheist is you maybe you
can get to know a little bit better and

find out her feelings on God

that through you can definitely ask i’ma
I’ve never heard of someone who’s so vir

only 80 s that he wouldn’t is it
possible to do

not date someone who’s just part of the
religion even if they’re also an

atheistic I would date someone if they
believed in God

rolled this golden it doesn’t
necessarily believe in God

she’s just a Jill mmm I’m a Jill

I don’t necessarily believe in God
necessarily what does that mean

her home while you know is that as a
dare you to convict I

just in case he was vers smite me I
don’t necessarily believe in him but it

was the year that I find it necessary to
believe in him

but atheism doesn’t seem like it’s not
written not any religion like you can be


you can be in a religion and then also
be an atheist

I guess you be like culturally right
culturally Jewish and they’re not

subscribed like the actual

you know the the believing God also this
guy’s in high school it sounds like Ray

yeah so it sounds like he’s in thinking
planning a little bit too far ahead

this is only friend she’s ready to
sacrifice or some sorta atheist God

in high school I don’t remember having a
strong opinion on anything except for

the Dave Matthews was the god damn best
he’s the God He is God

back to back crash into me haha I
subscribe to that religion

on Michael what you think you’re a

do you believe in God

I get really close I don’t like burnt
okay yeah

I hate to put you on developing a nurse
or dove a non the stick perspective says

that different than atheism

yeah so it’s not the ISM uRS is atheism

the way I see it is if there is a guide
great if there is an

okay that’s fine layer you’re not ready
to put your like I

is that agnosticism agnosticism where
you’re just unsure rather than eight

years in which means you don’t believe

harm how yeah I guess so

it’s closer day narcissism if your
brother is a loser due to her

you know what looking fears among the
car I got the bitch

I yeah I’d a II

the way I think I just like found out
step-by-step throughout life that people

have been lying to me

so like tooth fairy bullshit

Easter Bunny bullshit Santa bullshit God
is just the next one maybe look at that

when I like 18 is like poll

ball share yeah how old were you when

your parents told you that God wasn’t
really I

so so all the people that like magically
appear give me presents aren’t real


yessir body to be chocolate that’s
bullshit to through my two

although give me money bullshit Santa
Claus shows up give me gifts

got just shows that gives me everlasting
life in a perfect utopia forever forever


no that there isn’t a reserve game

to weed is all agree that the that the
things that are too good to be true

are not true at all at all I don’t know

either way if there were god you’re not
going to heaven at this point

Iveco I put him on blast the end up it
you going straight to you

a say in health care where other there’s
like there’s something about the

universe that’s like

it so I I A at least appreciate how
stupid I am

and how little I know about the like the
way things are the way they like not

even like

I understand politics understand how a
car works rather than other stars work

hours into the universe was made hours
than anything

they’re willing to admit that yet maybe
some fucking crazy as forces at work

that I have no

no earthly comprehension up but at the
very least

I don’t think that anybody human beings
%uh just got it more like oh yeah I got

don’t worry don’t worry donors got God

so what if you need an awesome lady she
steals your heart

loves camping loves hiking loves

loves giving you the ability to hook up
with the ladies if you want sort of

polyamorous well but and she doesn’t
wanna hook up with other guys

Natasha Baker leading you to do whatever
you want I will be yours all yours also

my name is Annie

I wear bandanas any early she wears a

fucking the blonde red hair yet red oh
my god yes

she looks like Jessica Chastain yes a
little just a test test and she has a


%uh golden lab or whatever the fuck oh
you like that I why I like most really

%uh care

an Australian whenever yasser and then
she’s like I L

I had believe all that but at the same
time I’m not 100 percent sure that God

doesn’t exist and I kinda like being
spiritual and I like leaving the

the door open to the possibility that
God exists yep she agrees I’m all for

being spiritual a very spiritual

okay what she’s like I do think I do
believe in God I think there is someone

bigger out there

not necessarily personally believe that
there’s something bigger than ourselves

out there that’s getting the universe

will I think if I met that girl then I
would believe I can also think that like

a nice way to look at it

is like it the aisle I can appreciate me
believing in God like that like I

believe that there’s something bigger I

that the something guiding me I believe
that things happen for a reason that

there’s some kind of design you do you
deliver no I don’t believe that I can I

can appreciate what I don’t like is
being like

00 I believe in God I believe in Jesus
in since you don’t you’re going to hell

an army I feel sorry for you because
you’re definitely going to help a couple

put that on me

I you don’t know any more than I do.
right now we know that like I’m

leaving the right thing and you go to
hell say yes who told them

could see you believe you you’re down
with someone who’s a little bit

religious as long as they’re not in your
face or like judging you have now with

anybody believing anything as long as
they’re not judging me based on what I


so back to this lady back to this girl
which is what this guys doing

your you server are like the app like an
80 s shouldn’t be doing what you’re


you having her for believing in her
believe she’s not putting anything on


right she’s a FN FAL as as far as you
know she may be.

atheist as well she is groping a Jewish
household yeah

and honestly judaism is a very chill
religion to be able to

tangentially be involved with its not
very intimidating at all

the through lotsa holidays they just eat
food hang out with people

I guess that’s kinda like Christianity a
will my brother and I grew up in a

dual religious household my mother’s
Christian my dad’s jewish

would you let yourself any you more one
versus the other

jewish I’d say yeah I think jewish
though it’s weird cuz we celebrate that

we celebrate the Christian holidays more

like we have a bigger celebration for
Christmas and Easter than we do for like

I see if passover so where does the
jewish inclination come from

and we’re both permits but yeah we
permit but I don’t believe that

Jesus was God son for one that’s a big

yeah so I guess like I don’t believe in
one big thing in judy is unlike I don’t

believe in God any Christianity I don’t
believe in God

or that he had a son say I it’s over
starting at one strike against Syria

them Tuesday since Christianity

you know where the road still at bat I

I without but if somebody asks you make
a few jewish you’re not use them have


I usually them jewish either you say
you’re jewish year

you don’t see a half sometimes they do

I get a handle it has a conduct the
situation David USC UGA

yeah debt absolutely am but have a
non-jew SEO

you have I’ll never talk to a non Jaa

it after you round up so this guy with
the with the advice

I don’t writer of coaches do it we find
out more about our yeah I don’t matter

of kisses anything at this point I mean

the it can never be in a serious
relation with the junior high school

and urine the entered band yeah it take
on the president

I jewish buggin buddhists or a last
really do whatever the hell you want I

don’t care if this goes a bug in

yeah alright you get that you get that
locked down while you still can

a cool tearing it down to get some

on the RA that he said yes so yeah is
due out in the ocean everything’s offers

the ground try to get some

try to get some yeah all maybe i would
like to bring I would like to

I ejected third option which is just
getting over a little bit later %ah

I Dodgers user are you have anything she
doesn’t deserve

you don’t deserve ur rally which one is
the one that makes her sound better

she doesn’t you don’t deserve her you
don’t deserve for your

okay so we’re on the same page in what
do you think would you agree disagree

I agree I there we have it from 20 to 28
to 30 year olds were on the same page

are here to

crazies ten-year gap I next question

amor you know the person firm or the

ideas like a loss your little ass right

mains in a quickly last legless like
glass it depends who say

hey guys and in high school and I think
my girlfriend is gonna dump me

Chester to get closer with her ex and
she has started to prefer to hang out

with him rather than me

even though she has said that she hates
him but would do anything for him she

claims that

anything meant that if he was in trouble
but I’m still not sure she likes me

anymore what should I do

love like a las I’m afraid you’re going
through a w-2 like a lot yeah

and there’s nothing you can really do at
this point yeah I think I think it’s

already gone

I think a.m. she prefers to hang out
with her ex to you

I don’t think you should have given her
this opportunity to dump you

I babysit his bill there yet you gotta
beat her to the punch as soon as it is

there is that the shift in that paradigm
I think you you’d you’d need to dump her

yeah I think you can’t also I hate him
but I would do anything for him

not at all he was in trouble yellow

right what we’re Lupul that is to make
matters worse she’s a Jew

I at a dirty one at that dirty dirty Jew

and God if your girlfriend is starting

if he even if you’re starting to even
its she’s hanging out with her

ex-boyfriend enough for even suspect
that she prefers him to you

I say you beat her to the punch and
break up with a yard I remember that

when I was in

high school late you find out that
someone’s gonna dump you need what you’d

like me to dump them first

it didn’t even matter if you like them
or not just like I can’t be dumped

mmm at a discussion do dump her before
she don’t you

yeah with Emily was it what I guess it’s
like don’t dump her because she’s gonna

dump you doctor because

UGG should be hanging out with her
ex-boyfriend more the genes that with

you that insane

she would do anything for him what do
you mean no likey Pugh was

in trouble I would do anything for him

I think that’s also an unhealthy thing
with them he has an ex that they’re like

still super super close to like he’s my
best friend I would do anything for like


I no you won’t see year now that’s not

yeah I haven’t quite experience that but
that seems like a very sticky place but

it like you went out with someone at
like age 17 or 16 and then like at age

28 years like really good friends with

is that a pass sixty years yet at every
10 years it resets

10 years you’re different human 10 years

so like let’s say when mike is thirty do
you have a girlfriend in highschool make


your so I can hear you not speaking to
the make yes they did have a look at my


and were held rhea arm 18

and then why did you guys break up I’ll
when I was still 18

nice like four months are you guys still
close yeah

you have to never see again if you want
to have more to do anything for her

I and now I

we didn’t do anything for her if she was
in trouble

I yeah all that at like it they would

in a little trouble mean could Gina
bodybuilding yeah I will I’ll rescue her

now they’ll know how would I would
rescue anyone in a burning building and

we act as a fire that a jewish

dole if you if you examine a bodybuilder
you got a call now one dog owners L now

yet to US now there’s a there’s a
starving child in that the basement is

burning building I’m scared your brain
on hand

we love you what are you confident girl
had your pain I fear death by Pierre

smoking appear planes

and perfect do what do you what is this
a cowardly man but he’s like a of the

power to leap into

I it variabilities hack

am afraid again ir pays later am out

pass emotionally or physically well

base that out closes my blogger

dues is goodbye I’m gone go back and
they dont have for your air tank have

fear the dark

I fear confrontation of where snakes

and I have beer die alone Philadelphia

nothing appear policy it I yep

and afraid to put the 11th put the ad I
i fear may have added the

that loosely a that you sneak that Lucy
backhoes me

get that caboose me I I don’t know I
don’t ever lie to eat caboose me

that but the mine lol you know you had a
lie to me that now unavailable but other

than as a little honey baked ham

I tapped out a little skin turkey club
but math

none of our I he shouldn’t you should
give a fuck my mama listen to this

podcast though

complain as on of Foxtel mike is mom to
you know

do you feel weird that I say this stuff
to mom nothing directly to her

I that’s fair news data white so what
would you tell this guy

um what should he do break up but the
real friend Michael

I think you should give her an ultimatum

an ultimate made ’em you’d like I’ll
come out coming to Cairo the

contradictory advice in LA with I

love your brother to brother week yet we
gotta it but I on it

paid officially were you told to be a

with you but ultimatums it so like that

I don’t know that so weird that’s a

yeah maybe but now like

more likable implicit ultimatum league
if you’re not going to be in this

a hundred percent then I don’t think I
can be with you

no but I mean it a 100 percent I just
still really like rhonda

and then at that point the you dump the
jump yeah

yet Excel don’t I dislike it

just hang out with her ex shit like

deteriorates the foundation of the
relationship so much that it’s like hard

to come back from it

I feel like breaking up is the ultimatum
it’s almost like a

it’s the ultimate leverage you have it
is really I wanna I actually don’t look

at what the mouth you hang out with your
ex boyfriend

II it makes me feel uncomfortable and
sad most the time and I realize that I

wanna be with somebody that makes me
feel like that so I wish you the best

we’ve had a nice experience

and then that’s what I the net that
sorta what mike was saying the implicit

ultimate which is like I’m not saying

I never talk to you by finally be i’m
saying all leave you and then if that

forces you to say

ol I don’t speak them anymore rather be
with you than you could get us started

fucking right at this

I gotta go abroad all I would do
anything for his

I believe you’re in trouble earlier back
in trouble

I reared back in trouble you you little
bitch you’re having trouble have a

girlfriend and I’m fucking you know that
the gotta tell them in

that counts that fucking cat I swear to
God on

iraq areas what do you say

and now you gotta added I’m I’m not done
with any seeds of doubt

if this guys like if this girls hanging
out with her ex even if she is saying

I would do anything for him in any
situation whether it’s in trouble or not

that’s our thing around other that’s
it’s easy to say from my perspective cuz

I don’t give a shit about this because

so don’t give a shit about this guy I
give a shit about anything

I’m really give a shit about me I we
barely to finish value at all

lenient and you like the tape a curious
girl you look awful right now and

talking about it look like you lost

down I believe we already found you not
leading now I can only tea it’s like

I’ve never seen someone so city and have

a guy what are the last one of the last
time you brush your teeth

the other falling out on a Wisconsin
with you yet we’re teen-aged

bell pepper at onto the bed and this is

here is oh my god you’re your

your Year’s Day would notice a year

you should be here admit you have
leprosy year

mister Potato Head I liz is the not
arranged by someone who knows how things

were going to cause a

it I your god damn

a I don’t know what is because as what
is that

you’re in college you know shit like
that which is a abstract

in abstract art your dad’s truck
painting it’s the Azalea

impressionist expression I

cubism you should be smarter than us
because you’re still learning I don’t

take it we haven’t taken a class in
eight years

Jake borderline never took the class I
will be borderline I never took

class and it was a lot less about it an-

I’d only one all in all through college

it was the last custody Turk in college
getting a creative writing

a at Hunter collar a a

nailed it they’ll how are your grades
Mike are you interested in the Jaguars

I think so well already year better
still because you completed two


college though only actually I think
officially with this

a semester you just finished your third

fourth quarter but is my third quarter

say I think your head academic leave
your older brother nor are they were on

the same pace I’m a second semester

some your day see you guys are both

the other but second mister sophomores
at this point brother I

you can officially no longer look up to
this fucking fat coward

excuse you I’m sorry I’m not

back to sure you are yeah he told me to
call the guy

bad you did all the little food BAE

yeah clubbing a lot of food last few
months and Medicare mom I think you have

food triplet I okay

that is absolutely more than enough I
have a food baby in your and you’re

ridiculing aid

I can feel it kick in it that little
cheeseburgers gonna be a soccer player I


the blue cheese burgers if feed your
belly is

extraordinary can I take a photo of it
absolutely right I

you can take a photo video plugin for
weeks with a goddess expect I

the pit bull and dad have it you use the
program delusions of grandeur

it’s funny how are you guys see the
reels Rouge with be in this room right


every other show this to anyone that
every next weekend is your last hurrah

I you always this is the

you know whether they’re really got a
diet and exercise every day there’s one


that why we can do that or he’s good
he’s sick it’s under your college mottos

every next weekend is our last hoorah
but like the UCSB

motto remix its jewitt I think they’re
we talk about this

a lot it it was like I like we might
hang out like okay I would have liked to

you now by dr. Monday

I wanna I’m just gonna start my diet any
like money had like 05 disliked

travel you should know this week some
like fucking bitch I would be an idiot

and there might at the next weekend
that’s it is the last hurrah right now

yeah then exit skull fuck man for its
Thanksgiving as a holiday them your

privacy a lot

so like this the last arrive to that
only really get on point

the problem is with the life you live
your life is the last yr a

yeah your entire life there’s no reason
for you to ever

make a change I live my life on the cusp
on the

is on the brink let the 80 here

no it does not doesn’t make me your own
I guess that makes it the opposite of

the year

heroes will power I will our hero has

a a forced to change upto ideology and
you’re doing is slowly going crazy here

18 and up to you know you can either I
did I i check my website you know here

thank you I’d

with a go-ahead make me cry go ahead
ever see Superman shed a tear to this

was about to happen

ok and here come the waterworks is
hateful this papal speeches kryptonite

to me

is all this is but whitewater witness
the next i sorry I think one

because I have a fucking a tag I

at seen it happen before I and it’s
funny because Mike is one of the

strongest people I know

yeah because Jack it’s funny to look up
to your little brother

yeah I mean I like text make up for like
workouts yet

that they ever work at that’s not fair
to you II workout

I were a Mikey CB workout that

I mike is a good influence on you and

bad influence on a heap York Alaba when
you do work out you throw up

yeah dude I you shouldn’t say but

in I you know we got a lot more when you

years those they keep is the perfect you
purely because there is so hard better

way to say that as you don’t work out a

so when you do you throw out now I i’m

a with with this summer that I your play
act in the yard

are you stronger now than Jakes ever

what do you think a and now i mean i
think is eww stronger

right now than I am right now yes I
understand you know your

league debut enormously mill let the

I that so there we have big strong and
that we had a fight that one time then

you to stop their bleeding

that not fair I got I got you to the
ground we stop cuz I got to the ground

then we stood up and I was bleeding

aerial the I won the fight I

and insane your bases covered in tears
and blood

you’re putting me on blast my 1i
blood-typing man

so but it’s because you’re a bigger guy
this and her husband are in a stronger

yes bigger better faster I wrestled to
the ground and I pinned you there

and then we stood up nooo I guess while
I was

well I was holding you against the the
Somme aground you were saying please let

me up we’re done we’re done

I guess your elbow to brush my might
become that’s not my mouth was bleeding

that’s not how I remember it well you
have course as the higher hours hang out

my friends here

I rosenberger to ensnare allergic to

take apart you what do you homos smoking
they were smoking

who is going to be any other years like
a mini one D a row do you want to

pregame recorded

you going downtown that day and I go to
every man

you there’s nobody that your eight years
old and make it crashing his shit

like like yours little brother dude I
was just pop it in this space

they both loved and then used reka used
RU days are doing got to go ham on on

your big bro

and I was like I I am gonna I’m not
going I’m gonna throw down I got it was

certainly dominance

we got into it I use live the
accidentally I’ll

clock to be the face I cried a rented

you’re there is to fight that I remember
I got it with my co I

1 in the kitchen where just like were
wrestling on the ground and dad started


that was screaming as the stop but we’re
like wrestling and they started spraying

as with the

it with both like the dishwashers they
at the sake

is like so everyone evansville is
screaming as this about my dad likes


fabric starts breathing said that both

do it which only makes matters worse it
was like so kinda crazy sitcom

another one is as ready as I’m a
computer when I think the

I ed I had on Sears I

for the you’re trying to get me out here
like China your YouTube mags out when I

get off the computer

worried on the computer like on AIM like
I can hear everything at the office I’m

talkin by pocket france stage adding you
doing we had one computer

and then hacer we headed to they submit
a resume to grab his arms I

held them he was like basically facing

use they see way for me is i has public
health a

basically crossed in front of them with
a metal you arresting me

yes like I arresting him and he just
lowered his head and my queen is little

had like his head right now

it was always that size I even as a baby
names like a 10-year-old his head which


okay it was like I a boulder the lowered
his head

and just guru it back it to buy knows

like Donkey a my nose exploded I

he broke in Ohio yet your like your

like seventeen years old and have your
nine-year-old brother to his shit at


you oh the senior in high school and my

broke my nose and head your dad tell
people you got a nose job

is that the just about a situation
usually the other way around you get a

nose job and say that you got beat up
and I’m never ever

like that was yeah the 1i even retaliate
your broker knows might literally broke

I told my mom

I lately with I got a job because my god
to do his homework

have taken those collected the computer

Huron plays an enduring love right
nine-year-old brother be

brokerage saving up for me really fucked
up the back of my head on the head

I a PM a good times

great times and bad times actual hydeia

I said to her with brothers the brothers
her with I never fight with my brothers

they never could key personnel you now
alright well not the third question

you guys ready Yemeni getting back into
advice mode your I’ll will call this


I know he is in some panic them at the
insults the just

stay tuned on that hey dudes I’ve been

having a problem with the girl in my
class she has been telling people that

she likes me

and wants me to ask her out sounds great
so far right

Ron the girl is a fucking whale the girl
is funny and has a nice personality

but I would be totally embarrassed to be
seen with her amaya dick

edges not care what my friends will
think of me or should I toss this bitch

a card for Greenpeace

yours sincerely King faggett

excuse us I want to clear up by that we
would never ever ever

other that he pulls slur on this podcast
if not

illustrate water reprehensible be

complete and total asshole

that is King F is you are

garbage trash subhuman ways scum

bottom of the barrel stinking dirt I
swear to God

said it site raised as I P and it’s a it
came from your email address

right show don’t let chill it

%uh this email was you chillin at

that I believe in

you is the second email we’ve gotten
where sounds great so far right

Ron but when the guys are on it does and
it’s a far-right yeah that’s fine

your no its he even says that she’s
funny as a nice personality what is a

care what you care

somebody has a crush on you I don’t
understand what’s so bad about I

under that these I get I don’t agree
with him in any sense because I’ve

a the way that email was written but I
understand not being attracted to

someone has a crush on you

that happens %um everybody right like oh
this girl likes me but I’m not attracted

to her for

many reasons because you’re because
they’re not your type because whatever

you don’t have to call somebody a whale

you don’t have to be this way shitty
toss this bitch a green card

for Greenpeace should toss himself into

who love lava oh my god he taught
himself into the mouth of an actual L

that be fun though did that would be
good I’ll a

me I don’t know what else to say I mean
we really put this we blasted this guy

we put we put this week with this guy
and Leslie will demand a well-deserved

what what is the park is going out a

probably Monday well well well deserved
Monday blast yeah

I you’re a blast all he have been
blasted up

Michael what do you think but the as the
key phrase did very poorly

yeah its its kinda is an understandable
dilemma to have

located in me out a little bit if saying
maybe the

if somebody who you deem unattractive
whether she’s larger

anything else has a crush on you is that
should that be embarrassing at all

there’s no isn’t it is an inch
flattering if somebody like see what

would you do with your life that you

that you don’t know reciprocate you’re
good looking guy

you go to college you get it when

I don’t like them back yeah and express
interest right

ages or Prussia Mall of a little bit but
like in a nice way

right by just dodging their tax

yeah train like bail on plans you that

matter to get at it to her sleeve when I
was on the other question me and I find

them attractive

I fuck that I

see the average behavior a is that
normal is that good

is that healthy mom dad your blog
someone out there listening

is it normal if you don’t like someone

tough but them yep I don’t like your

I don’t like your looks and you make me
hard and I want to be inside you

why a pic why that doesn’t make

sense do your own brain

I’m staring in the mirror set 98 might

this is your advice by deaths yeah
trouble with myself I

I let them play by the time I was on
drugs in a Batman hmm

ride look down my penis and as I you

yeah I was I was peeing I was on my foot
I was like p.m. looking at my texts and

I realize I dislike button crazy

as like I was my penis like you are the
boss and use this phone is your little


I you control like this you little

looking skin have on the enemy by money
into my pubis

you can general you control everything

yeah like never have known as does your
bidding yeah and

the body is just a willing servant I
really think about

by over the phone occurred about gonna
be saved and if all your dick wanted it

otherwise I mean you’re breaking wanna
but that will mean anything into your

dick does

but you cut off your penis I if I was a
unique think about that sometimes

I maybe your worst nightmares you think
about that I think that being a unique

an where did when I was getting my STD
test I thought about like if I had some


a.m. bad as TD like I had aids

cuz I didn’t know if I had it whether
what if I had something bright if I did

have something then I would be like

I think that would be like this sobering
thought like i cant sleep with anyone I

can’t give them aids

so that was sorta like be like a unique
breakers like

it it limits ninety-nine point nine
percent of the potential

other lady population there have been
dished up yet what he ninety-nine point

nine percent you can even if you’re a

if you were if you have a just without
sex with people

noted that with people who have aids
you’re not supposed to

I really I don’t know why but I remember
reading units were still

are they just let these columns the
different bike subtypes are the buyer’s

you can be like double aids only a
double it but I think that would

but they were mica said something to the
fire is enough smart but yeah

I don’t I mean look at me I don’t get
there don’t get shit

I don’t get shit now don’t get shit done
I am

hmm were actually at a time you can
imagine well we only have three

an amber past 40 minutes and I when I
don’t go too long we gotta keep it short

we gotta leave people wanting more

right and we gotta take make it to the
airport more than anything else

young Michael I serve things so much for

joining us make a thank you for having
me was an eye-opening experience really

it really was

yeah it’s kinda cool for you I feel
enlightened yeah

happens that’s how it’ll end and I feel

I Big C to you guys for listening

if you find yourself near sticky
situation you can email us at a fire you

show a gmail dot com are also accepting

a theme song submissions we are we begin

every show with a new original theme
song written by a fan of ours and we end

every show with one as well that first
one is written by he

them Sammy and this last one is also
pretty awesome is written by

Michelle so yeah lyn is going to be our
new year’s upset so happy new years guys

and how it is our last podcast 2013 and

and we began 12 could Ron light we had a
good run

50 its anything done we started

2013 without even having a podcast
without even thinking to do a podcast

and now I can imagine 2014 without a

crazy for her what a difference a year
makes where will we be in a year

Michael will be a you’ll be a junior
maybe a.m.

suicidal in some way well be a up pretty

either biscuit departure for newer her

our business manufactured goods area

Jake will be a close the 328 pounds and
I he thought I meant towards the DVD

does it

I 180-pound away but Katie come at me

unserious up though my way around I’m a
be the mother fuckin now

I be and review turning into a
cheeseburger beefy get

upbeat be I’m baby yeah beef be

whose a yeah we’re gonna we’re gonna
love mcdonald’s with two members in

I thanks so much for listening everybody
will be back in the new year

later and do you






yeah I do

and lindsey’s time me


the news

new one me



and I mean do


fans do





and the moon 10


and yes


and I’m




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