Episode 59: Preach


In this BONUS THURSDAY episode we discuss whether or not books make for good gifts… and also anal sex.

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starts now Tahoe job baby that throwback

their back to your first theme song that
you wrote all

the original theme yeah fifty eight
episodes ago

fifty-eight percent to goal vs on had

1 intro is topped the yet but I love
that everybody has the China I

reach either preach what and I liked and
preach after I finished I can circulate

someone else that

fear that even disguising it was he is
saying pre

now night as they preach so and see you
finish a sentence

well I got a guy with take her with a
dude that that is the man to preach

like shit like I everybody agrees with
that but never degraded issue saying

brought you the view Yelp reach than
other people I go like eyes right now i

i agree

I would say that’s not true preach had

setting up with the yield page they love
you ever go inside preached

I cell this is a buyer you the only
advice podcast

on the internet hosted by me annual

unamir and I’m Jake preach

I really didn’t say that the live show I
really yet he was like why the ellipses


you did that well as I was just drunk
which is also true

those drugs yet for him I can you
imagine doing a live show sober

at this point I I can imagine doing one

college shows like The Jake and Amir
yeah I us there live podcast

oh no I would be way too nervous sir
just it’s a nervous thing

yeah neta trucks I can go out there in
like be loosened talk

otherwise but you’re not drunk when we’d
record the regular podcast this one

yeah well that’s %uh man from many
people so though it easy for me to be

open and honest but

in a roomful strangers it’s really hard
for me to be honest right you have to

have that social lubricant

kinda like going out to a bar in general

it’s hard to be sober a while everyone
else is talking everyone right

exactly it’s hard to approach people
when you’re stone floor say is it’s

better to be drunk

hallway wanna be sociable yeah gonna be
funny and good you need to be drunk

and bad back that and then when you to
drug you become way worse

do we ever Ahmed very have fun it was a

we’re in the a green room ever getting
ready for the show how the yelling

we’re like pulling with you from the
bottle the thing the eighth after Occupy

jumping around and dancing way too
excited little schoolboys

to get back in and for the show really
do this i cum on tits tweaking with this

review is he a while for the night
jumping around

all the sudden the stage manager at UC
be is just standing in the corner like


are you guys ready to go out yeah now

okay who is this saddest thing I’ve ever

her both the part that we already feel a
little out of place that you see beakers

just it’s a place that’s just like

filled with a historia rich performers
and doing like

comedy for the stage and we’re not
entirely that so we are to be a little

bit I got there late as the grating
agree and film

and shit is sacred place drinking
whiskey so we can answer questions about

a in pooping in anal sex on our podcast
in front of everybody

that’s right but you know it turned out
alright I think so

yeah ever you remember any a bit I
blacked out

if you had to have my daddy listen to it
RA when you called a bitch

II only really remember that cuz I got
you know how my dad is warning any same


with love the little bitch in your eye I
and a host like did I call my dad a

bitch and the bug at

I was so drunk they have been then I
tell my dad a bitch in front of 50,000

people instead of being more about how
it is my heart was warm did you listen

to it yeah

and it is nice that he didn’t take
offense to it yeah it was a it was a

week we went at each other

an email it and I’ve with the high daddy

I your waking is calling a little bitch
in him acknowledging it

yes and it’s funny because it came on
the tail end ever really

a intellectual thoughtful response about

he have a debtor the taxes ok in order
to a breakdown you’re LLC income

vis-a-vis your 1099 and w2 boards you
need to make sure that blah blah blah

PL love the little bitch in your eyes
below that

any legal advice given in this document
like his life as the theater this law


which he doesn’t have on most his emails
he just had to give in to you he added

yeah I alright so how does this podcast

we did this on the light line has that
work has worked yes

yeah we have an email address if I were
you show at gmail dot com

and people find themselves in difficult
places in their lives

%uh need advice will email us and we’ll
do our best to

for advise them at their sticky
situations um

these emails are all real we can’t
stress that enough these are really

emails from real people

we just given fake names to kill you
know preserve their anonymity

I couldn’t live with

like I the

you’d like to do when you’re done it to
your little you like a little

a little kid you I E oh my god you’re
gay guy a dedicated my soccer game

like a dog who brought a squirrel to the
door the lookbook

like others for you do you approve me
hit a deer

I yeah I think those great a tanker I
was anything

yeah I will say anything this whether as
the Bobcats I think yeah I think you did

what you did a real

you get a real bang up job on that one
Blumenfeld thankfully it into it I

appreciate it

I am alright first question the other
fake name for this person

um we do have a theme a to be anything

okay a whole cogan Hollowell

thank you the themes are names

with first and last initials are the
same exactly

very nice very nice value que toda Hulk

Hulk himself rights with Hulk Hogan’s on

um if that carry something Terry
Richards or techno Terry Richardson


tight for Terry Terry Hogan rights

a dudes my girlfriends been hinting that
she thinks anal sex is really hot and

she’s coming to visit me at a state

problem is I’m a pretty vanilla guy
who’s thinking about breaking up with

her anyways

she’s coming in two weeks and I don’t
wanna have her come down here just to

get denied a broken up with

she’s awesome in every way except her
sex drive

I’ve only ever kissed five girls all who
I was dating and she told me she’s blown

18 dudes

her suggesting a nose pushing even
further away from her

how do I tell her how I feel without
ending things or having to make an opera

conversation and with her being mad at
me for the five days that she’s staying


thanks guys Terry Hulk Hogan

halt holcomb mania brother mister Hoguet

sir Hogan’s Heroes a this is the
opposite problem what most guys have

where they wanna have anal sex yeah and
they don’t know how to broach it with

their lady

right and meanwhile in the universe
there’s this guy who’s girlfriends blown

18 dude what’s that get

EFT in the B and he is said to be and he
is just the

not be alone in not having it I feel
like there’s

we should just colour email for people
who had the exact opposite problem you


bone people near yet set matchmakers up
I think it’s

I feel they also there’s two separate
problems one being that he

I mean whether she was at ale sex and at
systems that sort of like a decoration

on this on this package right here

yeah thing is that for sex crimes drive
turns a mark anyone’s to you

break up with her but she is like pumped
about this visit I feel it is

this anal thing is still it says that’s
weird added sad too with

yeah I should like I’m gonna go with him
in pennsylvania I

a bath and I’m just though ready I just

LS like I on now on duty at night he

everything hey I want to break up sex
I’ll that’s not how I thought this has

gotta go

i buy your gonna fuck me in the ass
physically and i doing it metaphorically

I feel working i jus got railed

I in Patna Senate not know how a thereof

fuck me in the ass with year with the
with your desire to not be with me and I


a lot and chocolate lover you’re such a
fuckin bill a guy that we neg

we can never get this swirl happened I
ice cream decided you do need to leave

my dorm room

I so

why the fuck in the ass a

a how some people are afraid of anal sex
I would say I’m a delayed a bit

you fear it yeah because it’s dirty and
it seems painful

to who does it seem painful a the girl
who’s been

be your f—ing you can say but other

i close they fuck on the podcast do

record I about anal sex yeah I was on
how much you’re selling yourself you’re

afraid that you fucking the girl in the

hurts her ass yes I

do I appreciate that I know the anal sex

I it’s a tight squeeze say enemy there
is there is pain involved in it I’m

what I i in the research that i’ve done
there is sort of the good kind of pain

which is a lot of people think about is
like getting tattoos you know it sorta


tolerable pain that they bike in a tense
pressures something the

another thing I would never dare that
ultimately right but I ultimately it

will also the pressure is not on your
butts are a girl likes it the I’m just

the tattoo artist

right I just have the needle thing yeah
you had I it is nice to your call you

didn’t need all the help

yeah that’s a little-known yes though so
you’re the guy with the Neil Dec the app

has she hit and I want to give her an
anal K

a so I but I think they like you

that’s like if you sorta like warm the
anus if you use lube with you fingered

hands are jillian is openly and work
your dick in slowly thats

and a lot of claremont to stop listening
at this point you know what mom could

actually my mom has I

she has a similar stance to you is at

I’m unable sex and i really appreciate
if you listen that s nothing I want you

to have anal sex you know your mother
stance on anal sex

I remember one time my mom caught you
looking at porn like found porn on my

computer and there was like

she had a discussion with missus like in
a porn is like its bad as like making

these calls a victim a lot of these
girls are like

caught up in phnom a bad situation right
and the other thing she said was the

anal sex is disgusting and i actually

mom I added at this point my life but
they’re pretty you a semi I’ve

I’ll well-formed person that I don’t EA
and a half today I don’t think anal sex

is wrong I don’t think it’s disgusting I
think that

I think that the porn industry is flawed
and yeah I think there’s a lot of

and societal inconsistencies between men
and women in it which I find

that I’ve issues with but I will say the
anal sex can be a mutually

beneficial and beautifully should be
between two people

sir I so would you say this gashes bite
the bullet

I think if he doesn’t like his
girlfriend should break up with the but

I think if he doesn’t like his
girlfriend because she’s blown people

than that demand sheesh any snapping up
with her for like being

a sexual being right well it’s just one
other things that you can disagree with

their girlfriend on like it could be the
other way around like a guy can have a

a very high sex drive and girls wanna
have sex line that it can also create a

rift in the relationship this is just

it is usually happens the other way
around but I think his question is about

her sex drive with him its questions
about her sex drive in general it’s like

I’ve only kissed five girls ages blown

and I’ll left-back and now that she
wants have sex with like anal sex with

me i’ve

I find it abhorrent it just means she’s
a whore but it doesn’t

it does not mean that and also you can
tie your current relationship

in with and her past relationship that
happen before she even knew you

well it is religion as the exact amount
of people that she’s blown a specific

blow J number

Dino the amount a blowjob you’ve gotten

maybe I can I’m not off hand now like a
if I had a conversation will be able to

be like 0

film 18 right I

I don’t know how many have gone either I
do know how many you’ve got

I young teen had they not alike gather
all from this girl

shit and which doesn’t count towards her
eighteen you got a shared a Google Doc

with me I feel like you know a lot about
me i i just i get out I’m not privy to

the knowledge that you have yeah I know
but I

right now gotta love a trouble to
collect all the bread

yet like a baseball card information to
me about how often average third set at

first yes I like to know when you jerk
off yes ask you

where lack you do yeah yes and a live
podcast was last time I masturbated and

then yet last night

yeah USA when the last an estimated like
to now iPod also believe I volunteered

a information about when I was gonna
masturbate yeah cell

with I don’t know I believe that’s kinda
nice familial

friendship that we can have yeah as as
in other roommates

yeah where your room is now and I’d like
to know when your best

I my really would I now

and I would really like to keep some
things a secret I think that’ll keep our

relationship there

even tighter still what brings us
together is not the information we know

about each other

the it’s a little bit today to that we
don’t know I would really appreciate

grieving son she business me a degree
and I would keep them secret for you

secrets series are not alone unless they
are pure roommate

secrets are the glue that holds
relationship together they were secrets

so we’re not yet is our secrets are the
acid that wears away at the he served

other relationship and I’d appreciate to
know where you’re masturbating

when you’re masturbating how your
masturbating into what became

I NY actually NY

yeah because it a little bit later Brett
alright a little bit different every

time there’s two da this guy should
break up with his girlfriend

if you can find his reasons are
unimpeachable and purer and that they


a small and their attention to your ego
and not the way you feel about her then

don’t break up with their try to work
through it yeah and if I were you I

would also break up with this girl I
mean it’s not

it’s going to be a weird situation the
question is do you wait till she comes

to visit and do it in person already do
it on the phone that’s really don’t do


don’t do I mean do it now if you’re
gonna do it don’t make her come all the


to visit you expecting anal and

denying her your your butt plug and also

forcing her to like she has to go
through airport security she’s gonna

take off your shoes and an empty your
pockets and yes like board a plane and

button fly to you that an okay she’s

at a state to visit Ortiz driving a
really long way there’s not like you


maker go through this effort so you can
break up with her and then have a weird

five days together

alright yeah that’s the tile at the
usual problem is like

I’m with the girl it’s weird to break up
over the phone would have been in a

relationship for X amount of years

but it’s also weird to just wait until
she gets here and then break up with her

FaceTime did a stamp yet video chat and
I think if you tell ur like the reason

I’m not doing this in person is because
they didn’t want you to waste your time

so alike

this understand or you go to her before
she gets the year that’s true

that way it’s like she can get mad it’s
a weird because the g8 UPEK mother wages

a super excited like oh my god there’s
never enough

back in the apt now and is like actually

ago image the opposite of that yeah now

and I would say do it over the phone
quickly for you to do it

Taylor banded care black to next

next person next new name who you got

the man it’s the now it’s a girl

mmm China I

China rates dear Jake and Amir

I received a really terrible book for my
birthday and my friend keeps asking me

if I’ve read it yet

what should I do short

sweet but very complicated right

giving someone a book is a is a bad gift

what do you say it’s a bad get big books
are bad get

I think I 19 at present at the time with
the back to get have given books many

times I know and it’s very sweet but the
fact of the matter is they take

hours and hours and hours to read right
it’s a big responsibility I only do it

when it’s a real friend of mine and I
only do it when I really love the book

and yet if you want to get to know me
you read this book he and it may be that

your friend is doing so

you should read the book also you said
at the terrible book but you haven’t

read the book see you don’t know if it’s

it’s hard I mean I’ve gotten a book I’m
I am in this thing where I give my

friend a book and he gives me a book

and last but they gave me was so bad to

I was boring to me he loved it book it’s
like all the Empire the sign it just

about native americans

whose who is this red over 0 for yes I
gave him a book that he didn’t like

about Einstein which was 600 pages he
read the whole thing and gave me but

then I didn’t like him like I have to
read this

like I read loudly as I had to get each
other I it took biking at the prank game

that I’ve my my

my attention span is so shot that I can
barely read books that I do enjoy that

like when it’s like

bore boring to me did you finish it I
did finish applied to read like three

pages a day for four months instead of
like just doing it all in two hours

because I can like

my eyes would not let my brain are my
brain would let my eyes continue to read

after like two minutes you don’t like

it’s tough love you don’t like books the
books are bag gift but I like to read I

like books

now you down sidi Sri books all the time
that’s not true

means that it’s I or the last three
books that you completed

I am wild by shields shell strayed

a um a

was data as book here

for tonight with I

no I think there there was home more
books recently

an early way but I travel I like to read
right but otherwise it out

oh you know what it was I remember now
it wasn’t

I read to Malcolm Gladwell book land I
liars this is like in

August and September okay say you read
three books in last six months and you

think you love to read

I do like to read but you would read
more books than that don’t you think

three bucks a year I her know

at the lake a good evening i’m glad I am
putting you on blast

idea I think I read a lot I think I
really are a lot internet articles

adding another area like really I

Internet are like Spurs beat or read
book I read poetry every single day

deal yeah well book of poetry the read
every single day my own a book called


good poems would absolutely recommend is
curated by Garrison Keillor actually my

mom gave it to me is that why the best
poetry books I’ve ever read

and how so um my

I have a favorite bookmark a which is a
poets don’t worry I think it is net the

post a poem a day

married I responded RA well what I’m
china says there are people that love to

read that read like you know

a book a week voraciously yeah and they
just they just go through they devour it

like straighter someone that like

is constantly reading books I my
brother’s wife is constantly reading

books I feel like those are people that
love to read

you’re like me you’ll need to look at
what every other month I’m not a big

butt every three months you a holiday

leading I like it when it’s an
interesting book

he would have boring conversation this
is how boring books are

they make conversation boring I think I
don’t know I guess it’d

there’s books that will connect with
then then there’s book that like your

friend I think it’s

it is dangerous to like give someone a
book yeah

like it’s like it had appealed to the UN
also an hour’s devouring this

it’s an investment that you wanna feel
like you are in control at like you made

the decision like a pie pick up this
book and I will choose to read it

that being said if you if you do read a
book or somebody reads a book that you

recommended that like a huge

that’s a very big connection it’s more
so than a movie depends on the friend in

this situation like if your friend is a
good friend ag’s

ask you read the book you should be okay
I’ll read the book and read the book and

then see if you like it

if she’s not a good friend you should
just be like you know what idea I’m

not to read the book but what about like
the old high school CliffsNotes

Arbor Spark’s notes are putting lying
about reading the book is by hey I

really liked it my favorite part was
when new Yahoo way when the main


actually I went out and change lives in
themes with the book give you can’t

believe that it’s I found it to be
coming of age story

it was a is an allegory above the Cold
War I think

yes and another theme that I realized is
that a it represents

youth so for the three big themes that I
looked in the book

call I other the four main characters I

John mark Jim dan

and I like the last sentence which I’ve
committed to memory another thing you

could do is just dumb

avoid your friend entirely just never
see him yet again

if they gave you a bad book may be there
a bad friend I don’t think you can

really speak to the book be bad

are being terrible he had read the book
it’s beautiful

I can’t speak to the book being terrible
she having read the book

this I you’re crying for different
reasons I know it

you a mosquito does be it completely
unrelated to the book thing

a so if I were you I would %uh just
quickly glance at some Synopsys online

tell your friend you read the book and

consider it lost cause you know I can
actually sit and read terrible but

there’s too many good books

in the universe that you haven’t read
probably that all

waste your time military yeah recommend
some other

some other for example I

a moonwalking with Einstein is a book I
read once that I really liked it was

about a guy who would

entered the US memory competition a

the drunkard’s walk which is a book
about statistics and random is right up

there is it like the review recommended
I think you have to like have

a keen awareness have your sensibility
they give you a windows box I’d be like


this I but the last the book that I read
wild which I loved was about a woman

hiking the Pacific Crest Trail right
like get his appeals to me directly

ray you have a more thoughtful friend
that night that doesn’t just like

force her books on you but rather

finds a book that she thinks you’ll like
I don’t know

made out well she would you do if I give
you a terrible book and I said I’d like

you to read it how to read it

you’re right you would read it cover to
cover your I’m gonna give your book

I’m gonna hold you to that billion and
try to make yeah I’m gonna try to fuck

with you

I’m gonna try to trick your get you in
some way Indian dances Infinite Jest

I twice as boring like to believe it
will happen is just

the boring did you read it and now

give up to dance me I would have made it
back to it yeah

probably stopping a book in restarting
is that like to start from the beginning

are you start from where you left off

an hour that book a private tutor from
that I could be its so dads

I ready for question the third yeah I
promise this one’s not about books

okay we need a name man-woman

woman again sable see people

sable herself rights so my boyfriend
keeps texting me about his problems with

his parents divorce

and don’t get me wrong I feel really bad
about it however

I just started taking classes again and
I’m working two jobs and it’s super

stressful to make thing

and it’s super stressful and to make
things worse he keeps texting me to come

over to his place to help him with his
problems the as well as parents which

when I decline he called me a colossal
bitch the good news is I met a great guy

at work who is awesome and super

trade dumped my d-bag have a boyfriend
ago after this amazing guy

or stick around until his problems blow

thanks sable I will say you sound like a
colossal bitch

really I really think she does actually
are taking the boyfriends

side not necessarily act like they’re
still need I need a little bit more

information but I do think

given what I have right now I would pick
her as a colossal bitch

really be you gotta think about things
and yeah and her point of view which is

her boyfriend’s costly complaining about
our parent his parents divorce which

if you’re old enough to be in a
relationship your parents divorce should

be that big a deal with your parents
never got divorced that’s not fair

I it secondly how you’d react and then

a he’s calling his girlfriend out for
like not wanted to come over and


that’s a weird thing to do yep that’s
tough I’m imagine your parents are going

through a divorce in your you what we
need to do you rely on your girlfriends

like I really wanna come over and you’re
like well we’ll

all others but you’re a bitch what am i
doing I don’t think he’s being very

maturity is saying that

but here well here’s my here’s my take:
here’s my take:

okay montana here’s I fish okay and I

you get a little high pitched in the
front in the sense or demands attention

here’s my ticket there is a will which
is up and I and the boys

but in their eyes on you nunu don’t
break so then Ivy League utica speaking

seminar easily between preaching here’s
the high-pitched voice Rachel asses how

this is how you talk

you can command attention by here’s my
TS and then

breach so I am ready for this to use
right now okay I take

it a kiss episode called here’s my take:

I might be called reach alright that’s
that’s like to laugh I guess I’m staring

you for many guys

so even though you have a good idea I’m
sorry usurping it taking it on as my own


here’s my take: okay okay ion is
actually made for hours in the air

but I’m here’s my I could

it sounds like that this this girl
doesn’t wanna be there for the dude

okay okay but I think if she if it’s
because he’s going through a rough time

then she is a bitch you can just be
there for the good part that the

relationship and then when he needs you

when he’s going through some shit just
abandon him

and sometimes I think people get more
needy when they feel like they’re being


in the dust so he he in his mind is like
oh my god mode offers out there I really

need ur

you know and the other thing that this
is this is maybe the IM

this is midway might side with her if
he’s a douchebag all the time which he

did say and not just because of his
parents divorce if the

always sucks and now he’s especially
need you but you like I don’t wanna be

there for this guy who I think sucks

disliking go through this shitty time
help them get past it and then break up

with him

really I would take complete break up
with him now if you’re ready to break up

with that loves it and I’ll

break up with it if you’re in your mind
you’ve already decided he’s a douche in

you don’t like him and now he’s sucking

extra hard make up with them for sure
but I think

if you’re like if use great for a long
time now is sad

and you’re like I’m no hook up with his
with with his buddy whose positive

that not really smart thinking because I
think a lot of guys are gonna like have

issues where they need

you and if you’re just like bad it being
there for people that’s not necessarily


you’re just moving on to ruin somebody
else’s life

love this new guy sounds amazing and hot
superfund want whatever what makes an

amazing that is that it was amazing yeah

and his parents are still together I not

this new guy sorta damaged goods I mean
clearly comes from a broken home at this


a place where I can’t I can’t imagine my
life Guyana whatever divorce a guy

would you think I think if it this girl
seems ready to break up with this guy

she she just break up with him even
though his parents are going through a


I yeah I think I guess what I’m saying
is the same thing don’t stay together

with him

because he’s going through a rough time
but don’t break up with him

just because he’s going through a rough
time either if the Sox

any such order now yeah break up with
him it is great

any sucks now maybe try to dislike look
deep into your heart decide if it’s

worth it and that maybe

maybe you can help them through it and
then you will both be

a better well it’s kinda hard it’s kinda
like a self-fulfilling prophecy like


when you get into a fight with some its
sick are you bet your price: gonna want

to break up with me you just want to
break up with me an answer like

II at this what i do. right because
you’re just such a bummer all the time

here’s a bit of advice for people who
are the guys in the situation

don’t get mad at someone for not helping

they don’t 00 it to you that’s to end
such a weird the day

%uh you suck you’re not helping me yet

could then the best thing that can
happen is they can be grudgingly help

you write a weird like alright thanks
for getting ahead of time and they’re

like I yeah I deaths and then eat like

in your is like in your heart you’ll
always know that you had to force them

to do it and they won’t feel like

you know wanted nice things that you
could feel when you help people is that

you gave in you you your charitable in

the person that gives can even enjoy
because they were forcibly I

that it is bad for everybody so at least
if somebody says no they want that would

help you really hurts if you just let
them go then

only one person feels bad ray everyone

right well this guy wants to drag his
lady down with them into this these

trenches a

feeling bad the trenches a feeling that
you’re like oh my parents are getting

divorced I’m in a bad mood so now

you are in a bad marriage night you’re
put nah nah nah nah

lose your spot you high point you’re
putting that on a right there

his is not necessarily saying I feel bad
I want you to feel that is like I feel

bad help

yeah but then he’s like when he gets mad
at her it’s like I want I want you to

yeah it’s when you get mad at someone
you’re basically forcing them to be nice

to you

and that’s it’s never a good way to be
stuff it’s really hard being insecure

that this did it’s that it is just like
you got it the

how Hannah giving everybody’s in secure
in some way

probably yeah you can’t be the most

I guess you could be like very very
security in the most secure people must

have some been security

I think everyone does what’s your
biggest insecurity

are you know what better yet what’s my
biggest insecurity

yeah this is this is Seattle like this I

good tell me what I tell me what makes
me back how what you think makes me bad

and I’ll tell you if I agree

I and then maybe if I don’t I love
retreat even device like you realize

that I am bad

about that being in that regard would
you that I was bad

who put me on a blast and I’m standing
here before you

I’ve been guys be our last blast me sir

blast and idid know you’re insecure

um my AR no actually I’m not gonna say
it cuz I think he could then it’s is so

that everything ok comment

from now on everybody is like go Dave
could digs concerned about his eyebrows

which I’ve not

no obviously not I but the allies are
saying that because you think a bit

error by my eyebrow

they collected I connected are they
figure they to pin which is

tell him I didn’t if the engine pick in
the middle interconnected just wind

show though right

if highbrow by browse by

row what now

yeah my eyebrow is my eyebrow what now

that that had new had no hair do that
with the GM

left huge I had to jam my brow is my

what now where else could your brow be
other than your eyebrow is my eyebrow

eyebrow is my eyebrow what now my
eyebrow is

eyebrow what now by Bowie at the
high-power now

but without kinda cool al Bab Bab Al
Bahr about now

had ever I to get well as the Sun that
aired yesterday that it like

I hated it but by the end it’s I liked
it Ola

yet this year fatima well I

a religious tickles my breyer’s that
that that that that

do your bitch yeah it so you think
conditions that a bitch

yeah your bitch the I don’t know if he
does I now

it’s like when someone tickles me and I
hate it but I’m still laughing that’s

what that’s what I think about your
bishop bishop who is a great sign all

sides agree

I then type away that song that I didn’t
like and then was won over by the end of

this I’ll head there are there’s another

I can’t even mention after an inside but

is another sign that’s been I they came
about Spotify’s like if you like

rich homie Quan who sings a type away
the threat to me whether you like this I

had listened to it and it does

like unlike a good supply over Spotify
yes but if I you killin it now

yeah they know that I like hip-hop and
so when they recommend another about

sign it’s good it’s then as in some type
away without yeah I boulet

mister CEO is what my title say I know
you do

I it’s almost like a because I got high

black collar response that’s a weird

I love it I should take a break given in
to talk about

talk about where we are right now I as
our first podcast recording in our new

tell for its arts yeah this is such an
upgrade over last tell Fort

which sorry we had to force by turning I

apartment into Italian for by paying to
house everywhere

this place is like a nice glass a in
case balcony

looking over the hills I’ll with a

curtains and already call these drapes
straight CIA’s rape Severus

everything everywhere that we didn’t
have to hang there are already here yeah

its fate it’s great it’s great have a
great fate it’s great faith

I was a sunny masturbate I

I and also it were in our new house yeah

will never let it together California
yes that is

this is the first time we’ve packed we
unpacked visas pot

by guest equipment sense and we don’t
have to put it away

right remember to LIKE would before we
left it was in your basement in Brooklyn

yeah and we’re recording in your your
life was a mess

complete frazzled a frazzle first it was
in shards

yeah it’s an absolute shards and I guess
that was

over two months ago now yet it was like
November 12 those the day before he left

for the tour I

so your life went from that to hear how
I got

and you’ve made it I really like

was the first time I like I as i sort of
a pack my bag when I went home for


right but is the first time I like put
stuff in a closet put stuff in drawers

like this is my life rails amazing and
so happy

and yet I’ll never be satisfied

I yeah I say you weeping as you

unpack the boxes you was I knew I wanted
more yeah you looked at you looked at

the book

you’d look for the book at a boxing you
you looked at it

and you you couldn’t like girls because
it meant that you were finally at a


yeah and you’re like holy shit I don’t
care about the destination I’ll al

addicted to the journey like my last
pair socks as I put in the drawer

yet and I left the I looked at her side
at my duffel bag as I’m always ready got

one foot out the door

I’ll never be where I am it are never
truly be where I am

are you always be real always one step
ahead of myself

adduced up there you yet drag

it if and one step behind my old man

to recap the order of things is one step
ahead of myself

and the steps and you %ah and then once

1b one place behind I’ll yeah so if
you’re to

zeroing out a little just the landscaper
what you’re describing it would be

a race in which a in first place is your
old man

mahatma then insatiable his is the you

then in third place is you too because
you’re always one step behind yourself

and them coming up the rear for no
reason you’re throwing me into things

I’m fourth you’re a

I you write your own I K

viewers correct but let’s not a race I
get what but

%uh firms know first place we all
already lost

what the fuck are you talking about

it you’re drinking Clorox bleach holy
shit you know it

drano a drano to rate my paid out the

I heard you need to explain now

I get it I i understand. 0 look

on see how there’s gonna be some is
gonna be a lot of good stories coming

out of us living together

yeah that’s true because we’ve already
spent a lot of time together but now

that we’re actually you know

sleeping six feet away from each other
the others it’s just that it’s a Jack

and Jill bathroom

yeah and that’s all that though yet
which is great because you sleeping


easy I’m chill and Jack gonna I’m both

yeah I’m one step ahead might happen to
them that a Jap

white and even her stint

yeah I don’t know what else there is to

others places great did you take a
picture which posted online

I took a picture of us to to my
Instagram and possible

as I want the followers it to me I what
followers I want

my Instagram is gonna have a picture
this room

as a gay man is Jake Hurwitz JK

hurr II T the

add me on instagram follow I privacy

Dhabi posting revealing pics to my life

my dicks preach I’ll funny was it when
Jonah ray the comedian posted a picture

of our billboard in

captioned it with the fuck has a
billboard for podcast I

and so many people got angry at him that
he then had to delete the photo

yeah he i we we love our fans because we
were put on

an unsolicited Tuesday afternoon
Instagram blast

from midday midday Instagram blast I
don’t know how that was

I know how I don’t know that was average
don’t how that’s fair but a what it was

in appreciated

and oh we respect that our fans came to
our defense

order to think that the beautiful yeah

at the same time we didn’t necessarily
retaliate arse their Italian ourselves

we were too much over a scared little
but cowardly men to

go out and combat it a with our own
comments I think that because it’s it

he’s the I think he said this to you
didn’t feel like it was coming at us

specifically because it in a manner that
was outright is just like the thought it


likes stupid which I which all which is
weird cuz it we

admittedly it is stupid yeah like got it
for three hundred eighty dollars


funny I I mean if you think that this is
exactly what we always wanted

this is like the podcast that billboard
turned into like actual promotion just


a belated take down the voter yeah
that’s true but if they create legal


II oh noes either is great you could see

I think you could see the Instagram
somebody screencap that on our subreddit


reddit dot com a slash are slashed Jake
and Amir

there you go you can check it out also
thats ok just a good ready to promote


a nice healthy community over our
smartest fans

to get in on that sure you note is

were or had a time outbreak occurs to
the and yeah

right tonight as the intermission is a
longer becomes the end to the movie

the others but you know it don’t worry
we’ll be back on Monday guys

a frickin I relax we are flattered by

by our radar and buy a router Europe

and not appreciated yeah I I think it
humbles me

well it didn’t actually happen so don’t
get home what about it

I’m on tour is that humbled by this
apparent you’re making up a reaction in

being humbled by it treat me like a kid
but I a player I love all the relevant

for saying I’m a horrible service here
not because I deserve to be treated like

a king the way they treat me as they’ve
got a little you not at all admit that

but I do want to mention that I A that I
view myself

as the as a pop earlier properly and I
shared that I actually have and I have

everybody are meeting down going well

now I i back now I okay I’m not a hater

go with this I’m a real hip I both got

I’m a fucking exactly right arrow

your meeting silence and turning it into
adoration the tires

saying they are humbled by during a
crown I’m a guy

your epic right why be a podcast came
when you could be a

podcast got iPod got I

%uh yeah we are at a time we’ve got to
mention the opening theme song was

written by CJ mom if you can come up
with your own

theme song we’re still accepting them
using them at the top and bottom up all

OVR episodes BOM

send those to if I were you show at
gmail dot com

that first one is written like I said by
CJ mom in this last one

was written by Gareth genie and lamp

hopefully that’s not their real names
but you know I’m not judging if they are

I believe there are many

I believe there are just really in and
this is a it’s a parody of that song


I’ll give you one guess I still like
they did a

up thanks again for listening everyone
we will be back on Monday we will have

more new questions and if you find
yourself in your own difficult situation

you can email us

at a I you show at gmail dot com paid



do we then

match I just do

let’s get to done






sure that’s what it’s called you have
recently undergone

hangman’s me not to tell you spinning

texting room can you beat and Charles

snail trail sexual along well goes into
muscles with some landowners

final bend down low and stamp just found
out the list when you bring you just now

he also I like this go to Macys tackling
please just let me know

you meeting should I meet you be

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