Episode 66: Hoodwinked (with Jeff Rosenberg and Rose McIver)


Our friends Jeff “Rosie” Rosenberg and Rose “Rosie” McIver join us to discuss stealing, scamming, and sleepy sex.

This episode is brought to you by LegalZoom.com! Looking to start your own business or deal with ANY business related problem? Check out LegalZoom.comand use coupon code “Jake” or “Amir.”

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mentions together Jacobs you need advice

message you think you have remarked gum

to reply you shun but yet you

absolutely mental may that with no with
Chinese wheat wraps until

sure going on a live tour those guys are
open it up for us

every single show I want what I want
that lie I want to happen

I you want those guys to open up
wherever I can hear oh yeah

hotel I never seen Jake smile so much

or any other found some at I it is
unlikely I’ll it kinda we look like the

drama masks right now

a word is our first episode with two
guests holy shit that’s right to guess

three microphones well have been left
baghdad I bob quiet gold

I guess number one Rose McIver

and no that you are that close is not
consecutive year the

on was that President Grover Cleveland
graphically the two non-consecutive


head to head any guests to more than two
episodes we have been out this class

back to back

heavy head guests to three episodes have
we had three

straighter maybe know that silly that is
it my autumn in the running

it’s like a presidential thing you can
only have two and for the first time

on our podcasts we have the other is the
entire life Jeff Rosenberg

hi are you nervous at quite quite I

why are you nervous you’re funny yeah
but do something about being in a room


good friend the and no one else than

that makes you nervous why it may that a

yeah look at my blood boiling yeah it
like when we were at dinner hanging out

together you’re also just like freaking
out you know what to order

that you just described the most serene
usual there’s something about being in a

room with good

rent on a quiet night really freaks me

well I went to like I left and went to
the bathroom and even go to the bad

and sat on the toilet and impact that my

throughout the entire dinner you had one
here but in listening to pan Terra

thumbing thumbing the drumbeat on your
thigh songs for solving with the


I is that a spot I think better other
songs a playlist I would but when we


was on her sobbing sunsets are all that
was on a cursory night with a couple

good friends yeah it so we’re sorry the
great playlist

the worst night of our lives I’m cell
we’re gonna see we can you check in are

sharing a microphone right now

I urge you Jake to lean n I feel like

you i mean you’re definitely harking
this space it really did we

week yes the ad as I wired LANs 50 I
would rather I we never bought a fourth

microphone to be a little bit because it
is I’ll

like this is the lawn comprehend what he
told me we should start a podcast are

not a recording at this point this shoe

cowardly labeled as the kiss Mike you
are merely an intense religious

save the party let you for sure I

on a glide Surrey now with some good

larger coming I surge after the year the
show before

I F okay seamlessly listen to it Wow

see you know the rules right yet we are
we getting emails from real people at a

fiery show a gmail dot com people in
difficult places

and they asked us for advice we do our
best to give it to them

sometimes it’s good sometimes but it’s
even better than good

it’s it’s a it’s great really and

you know the different reading good
great bad its that’s the subjectivity

I love advice where such that I say a
man they are at all right

but that they’re tell me now a

letter they 2.0 data you’re saying how
you hated math we gotta his speed

this guy and I love you I feel bad I

I love that we gonna have a good amazing
artist I’ve I didn’t connect

his piece didn’t resonate with me if
felt a little self-aggrandizing

because in the end I wish you could see
Jake right now sitting with an

e-cigarette version ever

hookah okay you’re making fun of me for
the e-cigarette whose e-cigarette is

that it was gifted to me was it where
you’re the one that brought it out

it was a generous you get me on blast at
like the buyer

I felt most the use our time what is a
hookah e-cigarette also to be fair it’s

fuckin dope

also to be fair it apple flavor yeah it
as well as a later that is random act it

is real to records fake

hookah tobacco was hookah I’m not
smoking that that’s it right now I don’t

wanna try

is a real smoke understand it’s like a
pen that’s led a good dude

so it’s it’s a big baby Luca it’s a fake
hookah active

it’s a real maple who cares I it’s a
real fake vapor

don’t do that in my days not do the big
print help you

paper in my bed and asthma inhaler shrug
yeah I don’t wanna

an antihistamine you’re addicted to
cigarettes can I say that

can I call you out on that mother what
it turned out the podcast I

we’re not I did not turn it down now
time to turn it off understand baby

you my number one bitch I love you did
that turn off the podcast

Maya that being said you turn it off

my lovely Laura thats Riley we had this
conversation today you’re not addicted

to cigarettes

a joke as if you crave one

that doesn’t the fight addiction like to
know how does nothing is addiction is in

it you can have

if you have one hamburger every other
day could you crave a hamburger that

doesn’t mean

you’re addicted I R and if you have five
hamburgers every day because you feel

like you need them

I didn’t have five cigarettes a day have
one cigarette

every other day that’s not true that’s
not true I have one cigarette

a day baby Rd lying you China rivers
justify it

you bring the blast upon yourself Jake
this is not fair

let the it was bubbly cigarette I love
me all weekend

me now Jess I the

alright lets the should we try to get
started with some we’re gonna get the

Israel emails

fake names to preserve the anonymity and
Rosie had the idea

calling them naming them after flowers
since both their names are rose

which I thought was cute actually as I
was pretty key

I thought it was really cute address
that hyacinth let

hyacinth well hello that’s that’s a play
I think you about the name hire them a

then about Daisy literally or higher the
behold the date hyacinth as F

final sound a bit ISSN actually answered
on board with that

alright hyacinth eisin the mail

highest since records hannah is there
any other way to take that many

now of course not right he guys

over the past few months I’ve sorta been
hot winking my parents

love their money they have been given me
money to spend on school lunches at

school events or things of that nature

while I would just keep the money for
myself I never spend a bill over one


I’ve collected a hundred and thirty-five
dollars and having never possessed more

than twenty dollars at a time you can
imagine that my conscious decided

that shit got real at that point much
like this episode

if my parents find out that I’ve been
hoarding money they’ll be furious

well I continue to make bank do I the
right to this money

how do I swerve my way amongst the
circumstance without mentioning it

thanks hyacinth

is this like even eases scrooge

is that a lot and I never saw that the
Christmas Carol yeah never silent help

order like Scrooge McDuck

may be seen Scrooge McDuck yeah he was
actually loosely based Internet users

scrooge really

yeah so in a way Scrooge McDuck other

that’s who rose to and tiny tim is the
launchpad gives murdoch where the Gaels

huey Dewey and Louie are really amazing

yeah eso a Half Men was turned into 3.1

exit when I maybe I will read this book
and I’m intrigued now

okay so how is the screen Jeske I just
feel like

how much money is he talking about of I
have a thirty-five dollars

N Out tightly is the holding in his
greasy did report he will spend more

than a single dollar on anything else
what is that

its cool is Gary’s money for school
lunches I’ve never spent a bill more

than a dollar time about the work on his
delusions of grandeur the talk about

this kid the 135 dollars is making Bay

yellow when you’re in highschool
anything more than twenty dollars is

like the most you’ve ever seen

they never said high school though the
now I feel I don’t even if he is a

graduate of Harvard right now

idea that weird bids Harvard Business
Analyst clearly

by social events humana Business School

in now is probably school business ideas
out tell your parents should cost more

than it does

it’s probably I’m guessing a 15-year-old
at this point

so he’s good he’s made more money than
he’s ever possibly imagine a hundred and

thirty-five dollars

is this stealing did you ever do you
ever do this when you were younger

like take money the apparent Gaby for
one purpose and keep it

I would take money that they didn’t give
me that they left around the house like

the top %uh

the washing machine when they’d clean up
the pocket my jeans

that that of though i think is

is free money though think he had no
we’re not brag questioning whether it’s

free or not it’s definitely free

using a big change the change jar to
Starbucks has free money

for aa often described the money in my
wallet is free money

that when I catch you looking through my
pants here like you’re gonna probably

leave this on the washing machine raker

as the rifle through my own wallet we
still have this thing

am fundraising at school where you sold
chocolate bus for like a dollar each

and you’re supposed to collect the money
as we got it only ended up

like giving away talk about all your
friends and eating them all

and then getting a parents to pay the
fund raising money that you then

Allroad the Cadbury foundationally it
was right you guys have Girl Scout

cookies in New Zealand

and yet but I was a Girl Scout right but
it’s like the same thing here like

these dads walk around our office being
like alright

other business guy can you just give me
five hundred bucks I’ll give you a

hundred boxes of a cookie is a week in

make my little girl when this Preiser as
basically what they’re doing is

taking money from their rich friends and
calling it cycle and Robin Hood stuff


I’m another book I’ve never read been
what about to Dhaka

wears a Dhaka to Dhaka no that ok Ill
what about 2.2

at oklahoma city Dhaka sedonis they are
rather that the amen

it’s a doctor oh what a joke who is the
Japanese number game

to Dhaka is just the israeli where for
our Hebrew word for charity

for charity yeah it’s not like I’ve the
Dhaka for

for Hebrew school yeah uptrend I think
it’s still

well that’s a day your parents give you
money for lunch if you

if you are you exercise good judgment

and you save your money then isn’t that
it’s your reward you sacrificed your

school lunch

you ate less food so you save a dollar

that’s great isn’t yet is that is that
his monies have been cropped the now is

this is money

its if it is live at the same family

it’s the same family money I

this is you talking to your dad after
his bill his does Ben know

%uh bastard and now wired yourself over
ten thousand dollar team will you do

with a hundred thirty-five dollars US

you go see a movie or something that we
had a 785 dollars on packing tickets

last month

and I remember the days when 185 dollars
was liquid gold he SD

as a hundred thirty-five dollars today
I’d like jack she i three hundred

medicaid does tonight on your dinner

that’s true as high a maid a 300 of a

all you guys today hell car I oh and I
love my wallet around

SL at this plant it’s safe to assume
you’re a thief

gyros the help Han roses shell earlier
and you just I saw you sweat a couple

designer dresses

I you put that in your carry-on which i
think is that is that okay

factors or anything I even a fourth not
to be fair he will look

divine in them old you think is not
selling the puter

I wear them for a week and then I thelma
at the you’re a party girl

Jeff was a girl for Halloween I love
being a female

I actually I was gonna say a couple
years ago but you are also a girl this


this past october correct Dorothy

mainly it will you watch simpson the
night when rather as merge them

now that was startling de dementia when
I did you see that it he showed me when


explaining all your friends may not be
any less a you showed me a match

simpson’s 1 a.m.

alright cell hey homie Helmi

alright do you have a writer will mine
was good

the do homie I was really good roseanne

I thank you do we have a right to this

do we all say yes sure I was the

such an inconsequential amount of money
but it doesn’t matter

it’s not your money you you rob her
parents spend it on something that’s not

at their lease does bed and right now
it’s not rob him because he gave

she they gave it to him he they be mad
if they do that it is better than mine

just for one specific thing but what is
like he’s just saving and I guess that’s

fine put it towards something that is
what I want to yelling balls and pick up

a new skill

yeah maybe standing up for like one big

ended the month fuckin lobster bang out

that are at school and they wanted they
didn’t want you to spend it on yourself

but not on wasteful things as they had
something that’s likely the at least

slightly wholesome like a nice meal

or or go see a movie or a concert that
you’ll see a play

and then hides in addition start making

I when your parents go to bed every
night make yourself a lunch

at the shit in your fridge leur defend
the goddam

diameter all my neared miss Ripley are
fun for a month and then fuckin 3

lobster bang out

mug not only will you do invest invest
their you you save a hundred thirty-five

dollars a couple months ago by a bit
quite as good as gone awry that’s gone

%uh test in a restaurant a lobster
restaurant owner above spending it on

bang out to you invest in Telugu Red
Lobster chains and you didn’t answer me

and I get investors are you a big
investor I a save money and then made

dad tells me what you invested in so I
am an investor but I don’t know who you

are you’re dead you’re dead is hood
waking you

yeah that is if you only have a few his
dad but they got this kid is going to

have fared

it is sweet 135mm fan

I it is sold have a share the Intel and
a couple shares a

Kodak yeah and his siphoning added to
his portfolio of the Kodak

and now man Jr even know what I on what
I’ve learned about the stock market is

that it goes up and down regardless have

what specifically you invest in a just
as long as you have your money in the

market I think that’s the important
takeaway here you want to invest your

you know at a time the market ya know
you wanna I don’t have any money to


mannered you have money to invest in the
cigarettes that you buy

that’s not there yet reviews I read that
rose day goodbye after you guys in ten

dollar stock thank you to blood bank in
the product

blow no absolutely not aren’t we did not
give free publicity to fucking

cancer peddlers my at the handle is
perot the

I make slows the I

lot a sketch us what are the hash tag
lot of artwork lot addresses you do get

kicked off Etsy didn’t you

I at I’ve been kicked off a not at the
event kicked other eBay mobile but I

Molly peddling yeah what are you sweaty
like was a funny the funniest scam you

try to apply for like yours

him I how are you telling ballad pageant

others one that the one thing I remember
is that you had a

you really old Dell laptop and you want
to get the warrant easy

editor so you just is the likely

taped up the vents and you overheat your
computer where they exploded

and I and that you like to get in and
they gave you nine hundred dollars in

the bottom at Waialae

let’s hold let’s let’s like the air

um statue bill yet yes that you to limit
they had

broad here good you’re good to go yeah

yeah should I ok I got looking dude you
get that your Dell guy is here Obama

instead he’s a liar

well you’re getting arrested you’re
getting his son is

at the Dell Mini the move was added what
what a judge it all to know what would


I figured yeah that’s it added color
donor xem

beaten atticus them active you write me

I any other funny scam stories that you
and I mean I guess that was that was

most dangerous I guess I’ll tell very


a boy I had a computer I’ll either get
ready america the Lanham Act will you

were trying to sell me on a Mac J cano

everyone got a man I’ve gathered I am

and then meh I needed to get ready to

in a realistic way without do they get
hammered have yeah make it look like an

accident site out the IT people college
humor there like you know you should do:

take that paper game everybody with dry
ice as well as Sarah got to have jails

and Europe I’ll gave you that idea

duper you’re listening I know you are

fraudulent do stick some paper clips

in the fans so it overheats out event
tape up the fans

%uh the ventilation and then fair
reading about a program that’ll

over it’ll burn out in our kitchen today
we’re doing method in our

if they were high could probably like
cook an egg on a ended up going home

that night cooking I got it it was super

super hot I I hate cut

a power cord a the temple of

and then flex strip the wires down the
middle third like

no I grew yeah get a little sparkle in
your yeah

welding at of sorts yeah welding and
then took the battery

pack of where there’s like the Great
America next to the battery

K I and then set up an extension cord

next to that %ah I got content yet no no
I did get I did not write to me

really make it a one-point gathered
afraid I love I O just wearing ugg boots

yeah for the robber like a freedom
getting electrocuted myself pretty much

show are you like a real-life Kramer
from Seinfeld

air a lot like kraina yeah everybody
needs a visual right now

is is imagine a 6-foot 3-inch man
completely naked from the neck down to

his rubber boots

sticking now loose wires into a battery
pack so that he can get a warranty on

his computer

it was gonna scare am loath Datalogic
you myself because I had the Paris trip

turned off and I plugged it in

and Juve blew up the blow-up

the question is do you love your new Mac
I it’s pretty stout i’ve had for like

eight yeah

up tight end for another and then
another a fraudulent

my birthday had to be up on that yeah
another hoax the AppleCare doesn’t last

that long but what about the eBay thing

what about the baby I was unlike you
sold something on TV they didn’t deliver

the problem now now that I I would

I would buy things and then not pay for
that I

you see it you would get it delivered to
you in that not pay the money

I you like with the baby I can afford it
I don’t want it

night good night but they should Anthony
the product until you give them hell


use although they deny the visual
vigilante try to teach me a lesson

the thank you for your product is know
that I would take advantage to you

positive heartbeats Robin the I

New Zealand has elwood site will trade
me like e-bay

and one time I was browsing through
trade me and I saw myself advertised

17 I somebody s cool Id advertisement
for sale

like Blake as a slave for like a it was
undisclosed I was just

one dollar like this starting bid: is it
about you know

reserve then I saw myself n nobody
burned up

well below the asking rate well as one
dollar when you’re off

and or near up for New Zealand is so

it’s like talk normal all over that land
Saturday when the

rather better here they’re playing rock
paper scissors and you do i mean

everybody knows it’s rock paper scissors

and they were gone want to deep is it
but the

they also both your texts ito’s before
they played it does a very formal affair

123 present man i Kings Hwy

yeah the rough dude risk we ever we have
managed to be a dignity

I think I want to go to New Zealand and
then everyone thinks that like my

little labeling the year did you’re
offered for a dollar I’d trade bead icon

with dignity

or near offer on the robot

see I not even I would pay back I and me
and you saw that on five things on the


yeah he would he would get you would
receive your body wouldn’t pay for it

I write you done in the next question
that a yes

checks currently smoking anyhoo k can’t
respond you have to be

all the work the yet dude if you can
hear that his

at hey on the pipe mama why you still
the solute 5k

it you liar you lied to me mama

are already well we need a flower name

this one is from a lady Magnolia Wow
great name

is a great names I Magnolia rights hey
dudes I have a boyfriend of three years

he likes to act like he’s the big man in
our relationships and sometimes

act like he is the king and I’m just a
random maid slave

and I’m just a random aid slashed lave I
say act because really he is a nice guy

that values my opinion a lot

and usually will make me do things that
I don’t wanna do I wanna marry this guy

for so many reasons and so I wanna
please him in every way that I can

however in the one area that he always
wants to feel big and great

namely in bed he has two strange sex

that I’m not sure I should follow number

he likes to ask me how I feel over and
over again during sex

that’s annoying I just want to
concentrate and enjoy the sex

number two he has a sex fantasy of
slamming a woman in her sleep

and should she wake up to the heavy
exercise she would welcome it like a

horny bitch

I’m not a horny bitch but when this
happened I acted like one just a for

phil has fantasy

but afterwards he is credited entry and
said that I don’t know how to protect


what is he thinking what should I do
what should I have done

thanks Magnolia call the police

I call them now Magnolia high near
boyfriend the psycho

you meet her in her future fiance wants
to marry this guy for so many reasons

it also funny like he likes to feel big
in great

but in bed he asked me an erotically
over and over

he’s doing a good job do please reassure
him that he is a hottie

be a member to you want to fuck me in my

rights not big in greater businesses are
one you telling me constantly getting

the validation that it’s good

or two if they are all feeling that you
just pretend to be asleep during it

men out here fun I wish for your sake
you had listed some of those

numerous qualities that you loved about
him house I am stumped you how many good

qualities have to counteract those two

terribly negative ones is probably like
jacked oh that’s right after Jack

Israeli guy chips and triceps

hex lat fuckin Delta Lloyd that bad

abs on halves on abs holy shit this dude
as good quads I bet

on fuck how do I feel during the sax I
feel like his latter hot I feel like his

triceps are on point I feel like his
packs are in my face but I kinda dig it

is that crazy

are you a horny bitch I’m not a horny
bitch and I know how to protect myself

that’s weird that he wants the fucker

that he wants the fucker one she’s
asleep his way to her protect yourself

and he’s like

if anybody else tried to fuck you in
your sleep you’re just a horny

how is that alright how does that the

work I don’t get this the Hadley that
isn’t actually

yeah you never done that not over
densely sacks

I’ve had sleepy exactly beef legendary
different then

someone partying at flames you like
schooling somebody and then you’re

you’re cupping their waste and then
you’re sorta

tickling their breasts than you touched
their legs new guys in your like oh

what’s I wonder what their pussy feels
like margarine of

and it’s like where the late they’re
still asleep they’re still i mean I

don’t necessarily like

passed out asleep years or like
dreamlike state like

were cuddling were rubbing work right
now and then okay this vagina is Wed OK

my dicks hard and then slipping in and
that’s nice

can evaluate if the woman’s asleep rose

I feel like she’s she’s pretending to be
asleep the US like gecko something

okay I’m not saying that you like fast
asleep but I think you’re sleepy my dick

get hard when I’m asleep was he sounds

we need a time-lapse video a yeah

time at have to be a gem fucking I

mel is it a conversation in the
conversation about and being told what

to do

oh yeah how that’s not a very sexy thing

right the sound like that would be up
this guy’s alien that puts me off them

so that’s a good that’s a good general
sex advices a1

not give advice or tips during sex or no
I feel I always feel weird saying

general sex advice because everybody is
so specific

for me specifically I get turned off
when somebody is like giving me

intense direction during sex I don’t I
think that’s great I think that like

some people know they like and that’s
cool but like it turns me off

you know right we’re not saying it’s I
generically bad yeah I think there’s

anything let me you said you like it
like a GPS telling you exactly where

yeah I delia ways SK

GPS the robotic woman voice that sorted
guides me to the clitoris

ideally obviously doesn’t have to give
me in like square inches are miles but

at the very least

are you now approaching a destination or
whatever yeah I mean

I feel like I personally II

think I could I think I know the clip is
but if I’m

completely of it I do I guess want to be
told because I will

primarily want to get somebody of yeah I
don’t either I guess I was saying that I

don’t mind

instruction as long as its productive

just a what do you think Magnolia who
you’re asking the one another over the

phone yeah

or do you guys think what are your what
are your thoughts on advice during sex

me know I a solid no I’m not with you
say I think saying what you like

and what’s like uncomfortable but not
not advised that sounds like

that sounds like fun like pillow talk I
like a conversation before you in this


might be more appropriate like it like
you can study for test BK is your notes

during the exact like when you’re acting
you’d only thinking about the lines he

does want to just be doing it

but you thought about the lines in
advance that’s true I think positive

reinforcement is always the way to go

so weird like he I don’t want to be like
no pastor

about I want to be like if she starts
going faster much yes like that I like

that and then it’s like

that’s great we’re building on something
that rather than my delight woman woman

called colder

right I would never say called out as a
warmer warmer warmer warmer and then

maybe stop talking

I don’t want to hear colder I really
really don’t believe it takes you out a

bit by either the left just me though
you know

about left warmth of colour yeah what I
just go completely live yeah we’re not

really a star like texting when you’re
not into

I are we are you can help me right now

is that is saying caller her body
temperatures drops

rat rat rapidly radically both

both not yeah her fi go call it is
probably sleeping we’re not talking

about this dude who wants to fuck a
reader sleep and then made her feel

shitty about it

that I like and Magnolia I don’t like
him one bit i think is

its fine if he has a fantasy and it’s
great the FIR filter even if in like


that’s beautiful but he’s gonna use it
makes me feel like a slave

called out on it I mean used if he has
the qualities that we deal muted

his I guess like EU on the conversation
so tell ’em

tell them that you didn’t like the way
that went down and be changes greatly be

doesn’t fuck ’em

yeah we’re the first ones is easily
fixable you like to ask me how I’m doing

over and over that just like an easy

by the way I don’t like that and if he’s
the guy you’re supposed to marry he’ll

adjust accordingly

the sleep fantasy is a little more
troubling assertive a giant window into

this terribly damaged psyche it seems
that no that’s not fair

fucking a woman who likes to fuck a
woman with he’s asleep and then say that

take it like a horny bitch I think that
that’s fair that what he say right now

I think about america oh that’s only
because my definition up sleeping if

someone just like

stone-cold have out yeah I get them
moving in like like like

man in me and always about me like there
is very consciously like

acknowledging that I E is a decade after
the remains early

thing and sleepy who this says sleeping

I’m not able he’s not say I wanted to
give you a drug that will make you pass

out and sleep with users like

I want to do this role playing and I’m
not saying that that’s like

I have not I don’t like it they needed
help but like if she’s willing to do

that forum

that I think that’s fine I think that’s
great some people like to be spanked

during sex some people like to be like

told that their dirty whores are you
like what have and that’s by design

their away like that

know it but some people there I mean
there’s porn site that are

there’s one called like I feel its
coffers about like a doctor hypnotized

girls have sex is that there’s some
weird shit like that

and i think is fine if its role play as
long as everybody’s comfortable with it

I think that’s fine as long as
everyone’s conscious

it was just a conscious effort to date
she’s doing she’s doing this for him

was not find is that he’s gonna make her
feel like shit after another Asia feel

like shit

that my world no one should feel like
shake you that something to you

the guy should he the pieces share I

now regained her again the full get
another life so if thats your boyfriend

behind appeal how do you feel how do you
feel I

I’ll know are you sleepy good you are
getting sleeeeepy

sleeeeepy alright perfect

sheesh take it like LRT batch

the bell learn how to protect yourself I

is a lot a role playing and I think he
can only ask you know you can ask

too much at once just which direction
you want to go do you want to protect

itself do you want to be vulnerable

right i think im anything this mixed
messages from me I an introvert have

fantasies like

in my busy recommended he be a good boy
yeah I’d like in my fantasy you know how

to find likely without me telling you

exact science that’s that’s good

they have it what else can we say open
up a dialogue if you really like this


he’ll listen to you and adjust
accordingly also Rosine I think he’s a

terrible human being for 10 min to fuck
you in your own conscience I can I did I

will try to salvage a

I think if I get arrested for fraud were

bird connecting disguised to the police
somehow because

it justice should be fair to please the
job here to arrest you for your

e-bay stands yeah alright alright let’s
I’ll try to get the question number


tray on mercer is saving this one until

a lady was in the house and when we
could gamble on Rose will do

I said please don’t leave

keep it police divers we apologize

obviously there was a joke I’m on the
fence yeah

alright can you give us a female flower

duniya had diarrhea OData

Dahlia right hey guys I have quite
annoying problem that many can probably

sympathize with

I’m at that age where my sex drive is
quite high

and I’m currently single and the only
way I can really fulfill that urge to

have sex

is to masturbate however when I am at

my parents are too it’s harder for
females to disguise masturbation

than males we make more noise take
longer to get off

et cetera how do I go about masturbating
without being cut

I’ve been doing it in the back lately in
putting on music so they can hear my


but I feel like it probably takes too
much effort and they’re getting


any tips or advice would be great love

going to the words or something the I

alright next question glowing their

alright can you at least tell us which
ones they are picture no credit to your


avoid state parks just know a Jeff in
the depths might be that

and now is a bulls-eye burma hundred
yards away are actually more like it

requested numero Quatro thing while
you’re in the woods

right last some Metallica and they’ll
never guess what’s going on

is this should do you find this hard to
masturbate when you’re at the gym

did you do this when your parents are
around is it a weird Taj

is it more we’re just for girls that as
our guys what it wants me as his puter

all my favorite thing is that my brother
listens to the podcast ol

high road up all totem pole

I so I feel like you know I’m very
considerate of the fact that my family

a if this pace I A I would not wanna
make my mother and father feeling

comfortable in their own home

schorr and our girls latter than gas

I don’t understand that lead she can’t
control her bones

so much to the point where she’s like in
the bad was needed music and she’s

worried that her parents were here

and has insane their walls made of paper

yeah maybe it’s a very thin walled any

me know what other have walls the word
for word

a very loaded the which is now go to the
words dude

lever added the word it honestly not one
hour in the day the a family

and at home and that’s a good question
maybe it’s a

student she comes home in the afternoon
parents are there

then she goes to bed at nine or ten
tensions still there she wants to get

off all her

old man is still in the house as well
I’m thinking about a jeff has a fantasy

about coming across a naked girl
masturbating the words right

it’s very clear who is now more than
ever I was a private conversation

I this is a very public forum on

Theo a pillow pillow over the face is
that of things that %uh suggestions that

a good tip

and I wanted to add something like that
but it seems insensitive to women

Meyer just the way to mask noise it’s
insensitive towards noises I guess

smoke a lot will ok but is that more
than you tell us a little about the

the rabbit they are the legs like there
there’s a tiny little vibrators that are

pretty quiet I think she’s talking about
the sounder the vibrating the problem I

think it’s her heavy demands

while alright is it cheap really

you can’t control the bone I mean I
don’t know Dahlia maybe she’s got like a

tracheotomy or something that large fry
and rice eyelids

Sheila you can control the Mon ice cream

brain you’re not imagining my walls are
paper them

bad you live in a railroad Yahoo open
doors to your benefit

job she should be the Saltine challenge
while masturbating

no that way multi it was therefore
saltines in less than a minute

for salty is all in your pussy less than

if you can get them all the way up in
less than a minute

what is the what he win a free trip to
the what your son that

your very own tree house I yes at what

in all seriousness what about sensitive

alfresco living meaning just 90 calls

I once again meaning the words bro

I read between the lines ads

what about I stood on what did you do
it. to masturbate in the shower

there were times I was in seventh grade
I would I would masturbate in the shower

so frequently that it’s got it got to
the point where I stopped taking showers

well I would

I see is what I did I had ’em kids you
as I can understand because this way

back in the day where we had one family

I had to go and play but not combine the
free images print them how

I hit them in a Where’s Waldo book that
I kept my bookshelf

mmm I would go to which one where’s
although in time where’s waldo in


we’re alone now Where’s Waldo now other
to get on

and that way that the red one yea actors
were Where’s Waldo now

and I would go to the bathroom get a
towel wrapped the book up inside the

towels sneak off to the bathroom in case
the path anybody in the hallway

turn on the shower and then sit on the
toilet masturbate and would take maybe

15-20 minutes

and at that point people my family are
knocking on the door trying to get into

the shower

you have five kids in effect fine thank
you hands were 66 getting you there was

an easy to take the 15 to 20 minutes are
there’s not a lot of time for everybody

take showers

so got to the point where I would only
go masturbate

on the toilet while the showers running
to hide from people and that you were

knocking on the door try to get in the
shower so badly that I would have not

take a shower

it is wet my hair in the sink well that
sounds foolproof I

so that I can say you can’t deal baby
Hannah fight the Waldo leave me alone

the tourney final ok my sisters actual

mister at their ordinary that is

that is something I V Day the the nose
the shower might drown especially that

shower and music Beltran unknowns

messages dish that is doing in the bath
but people are getting a little

suspicious leading any suspicious

because you know long bass lotta music
half how many times we can get a ticket

a love that will that is where the acre
the rabbit comes in I’ll get you off a

lot faster

Sears suggesting is use a vibrator
that’ll get you off faster you can get

getting more a bean flicking synths

this gusting ape

you’d shot lead ADA play a game and you
put his other do not Glassford wanna

fuck his girlfriend while she pretended
to be asleep near to you she never said

pretended you put that in her mouth

while she was asleep rather and

I think I’m the only one I gave like a

answer here I just as weird as that is
going to the words

is the only just talking about the bar
in Brooklyn

I was here lamp like 1 a.m. or something

or tear I got a bad idea yeah middle of
the night so the house is dead quiet

just like her hi be

are you know what me sailor for one
ampere phone on vibrate mode and then


shove that iPhone right n with

I now and it goes up you do too

the I’m so sorry about that

without you I idea deserve a standing
ovation desert where is the way that was

the e-cig

NOAA you now have a look at what about
the car

hot but about the car doesn’t have one
she doesn’t want his 15 a city on she’s

like I’m at the age where I’m

just starting to masturbate I don’t
which has a car

maybe she should have asked a bit right

yeah eat let’s say %eh driver’s licenses
also masturbation is license I think

that’s a safe

that’s a good new rule you cannot you
get a better fan

I gave up say that go

major father’s wallet like a good friend
at the style

135 dollars down payment on a shitty
shitty catheter

and that’s a nice home away from home
theater at all he can get a hammer and a

hammer and Myra

I it’s tabloid paper mcveigh’s

the you have any positive is the
cigarette he had at this point a buck

on about to that as they are at our i

you can have this on an airplane hero
this is e-cigarette in 10 years sister

how are you putting your own acting here
on a

on a Thursday blast that’s not fair I do
love menegatti kasi what republish the

FBI labs are watching True detective I
highly recommend it does buyers club is

also a really great

a big mess to become a fan did last BGC

huh DC not on I

how big a fan I you wanna hell have you
seen mine is movie mud

sigh yes whole what’s up

how to catch that the big fun to be
Kenya and the actors in it

yeah I have have you what happens what
happens what’s it about halftime show

I up his eye as

Ben actually meant that’s how you get
out as shit people

that my while the money elicited by its
I silos come in

I lied the end lie a lie lie

to that I say amen to that I say alright
alright alright

always lie always lie always lie I’ll
we’re at a time

have that had that last rejected it feel
like it went fast

yes that that feel very very fast I did
leave the room at one point we are at

the only

there at the nine letter words yeah

you that the girl had already taking
your year and other as how do you think

this compared to your first time

I like sharing the spotlight yeah bad

I gathered so honest it’s okay that it
was with another rosy and a new friend

rosey so

yet to roses for the price of one kinda
was I getting paid you’re getting

ol did you read it hang her mom how we
are totally totally totally at a time

anyways I’m %uh

so let’s %uh thanks again to Matt curry
for making that opening themes on if you

have your own

hope opening or closing theme songs
emissions place and those two if I were

you show

at gmail dot com but thanks again to

Jeff rosy rosenberg and Rose McIver for
being our first

forehead podcast guess and we hope you
enjoyed it

this last theme song is a written by a
guy named

Steve David Ash

damnit dash let’s go Stevie D

Stevie D take us out thanks so much for
listening everybody

so in the new word should go through I
wish there was something that

I can’t do that if he needed he’s just
read a letter to

G kidney Rana I were you if your lead

%uh stuck inside the model that
important that you like an ass ago but

nothing like this one

having trouble letting go you’re having
just say no why not try to get it back

then I’ll in charleston I know

been up there share annual on roblox

lot of money

support sure

and send it

along to live by were you show female

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