Episode 67: Howdy (with Dave Rosenberg)

Description:

Our dear friend Dave Rosenberg, the master blaster, joins us to discuss wet snuggling, overprotective parents, and near death experiences.

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yes check it out okay this episode we
finally got

Dave Rosenberg on the show it’s been a
long time comin

though we had a we finally were able to
haggle price with him

four slices a whole pizza and we were
able to get him on the show cell

lets the enough enough for me its

it’s getting getting a little weird it’s
getting a little sad likely Jake was

actually party episode is can record the
sad

no pressure no problem thing still got
realize sure you

so let’s get started later when you’re
don’t want it to you

the

mr

yeah alright short sweet

well I wanted three okay show it clear
negative

there was Hill a shortened 3 it was like
half with there’s a commercial for our

podcast that would be like that jingle
at the end

that’s life play a piano and the danna
let the United enough

that was shortened bad I

we finally have Dave Rosenberg on the
shitter Dave how are you

howdy I the is killin it already

ok to be perfectly honest so I think
going in after run both your neck for

actually leading me on the spot

I poor decision live you what he talking
about

the stuff that I face some time it is a

racist homophobic you lose a lot of fun
trip and the son of a bitch

at La your ideas that are bad at it very
evident

this started I how it feels so that the
end with howdy

you the with the deposit colloquial
greeting

followed by I vitriol days at Daves
influence runs deep throughout the

podcast that we never had him on the
show used you still a lot of your

colloquialisms

ideally I’d give him credit I’d died o.o
want to be put on blast

alerts delivered a when I give you
credit I Dave came up with blast

yeah I’d really like popularize that my
life the right I don’t know how you

coming up with Adam as far as you’re
concerned he came up with it

yeah anything else um I’m probably

and I i up party bill the bill boys that
I talked about the park at the time

as a voice that I did with day we’re
living together days like the man behind

the man

he that guy behind the curtain yes and
we’re excited to finally have them on

the show

excited to be here howdy I it is drunk

loop I yeah

howdy and here’s a question for you

you ever had every day I do lie

I you have good hair I do have good here

said here’s why do you hide it dealing
with a party a haircut like my haircut

is

the length of my hair that comes outta
my hat 32 degree with my hair is sure

I bone we’re happy book an author roof
but every single day

yeah a huge you put me on blast rather
arianna

I’ll as I just think wiring and Justin I

you’re taking it as a blast yeah blast
um

I like this hat you feel it does is it
like a security thing is it like me with

glasses like I feel naked without
glasses I did on a crew that had a feel

cold without her

I need to sort of get over the happiest
tradition

in the summer though you can still wear
had every day the

summer seems like up more time to
actually wear the hat make you that mad

at elected to keeping the shade and

you to keep inside your eyes you
remember the last eight and wear a hat

but I’ll ask a question I promise

2009 I 2000 days ago exactly

at the year two thousand light relay I

so you for the show before I couple
episodes okay

I Skype you’re playing it’s so cool

who reach I don’t press chill Dave I

check but to-day the so

I you know how it works you know people
are finding themselves in difficult

places and they’ll

email us to a fiery shell at gmail dot
com we read the emails and do our best

to advise them

at have their sticky situations that I
said the email address

and thanks to maybe I think I did but
I’ll say it again just in case

if I really show at gmail dot com I’ll
people also summit theme songs

new theme songs for every single episode
and the one that started this episode

the one that was short and sweet engine
alike

was a married couple very nice Steve and
the leaker bush

you know I’m glad she took his last name
I’m really glad she did that sheets

governor is a slow leak a bush to begin
with /url he took her last

yeah Sienna I could steve did my leakers

your a said Alistair thanks to Stephen
illegal for that

I am should be just dive right in yeah
obviously I’m so

excited right now this is the episode
you’ve been waiting a really as I think

I might this is going to be the quite as
they’ve ever been observed only one I

basically wanted to be unda

her now well you just wanna pick you
just wanna live in Dave’s brain for like

an hour

yeah just oh my god I’m so curious okay

well let’s let’s at least throw some
stuff for them and see what comes out of

his brain whole

as do it alright here we go %uh like
first by 10 he was thinking when he

decided to wear those white polo t-shirt

with you only wear white after Labor Day

I a for new isn’t always after Labor Day
it’s always after the last Labour Day

now phone right for apathy you can wear
light when everyone

not through alright you agree very good
then there but Dave the other name theme

for us every episode we give these real

emails from real people fake names to
preserve their anonymity

the easy like to keep it within the same
theme the Evo theme for us today

I’ll true detective Kercher’s I don’t
know enough to detective characters

but thats good weekend we can really
start out here

at the very least we can use real names
and then the actors names I got a

candidate

okay so the first one comes from a dude
named fucked by Donna

I already Russ call rusk all rights

hey guys love the show keep it up here’s
my problem

have been dating this girl who has very
strict parents

she has a 10 p.m. curfew she has to
first clear whether folks whether or not

she can go out with me

i cant touch her in front of her parents
once when we were out of town together

she had to send her mom photos

up her outfit for approval before she
said food at the house

lastly I spend more time with her and
her parents that I do just spending time

with her alone

she loves and respects her parents a
little too much for me to tell them to

back off a little

here’s the kicker she’s 25 years old and
so Am I

she can’t move out until she’s married I
really love this girl and I’m thinking

about marrying her one day but we
haven’t even dated for a year yet

what would you guys do if you were me
love for us

call rust rust call

it question Dave right off the bat
really think

to show the parent well oh my god I
howdy

dark have you ever had a strict

lady parents strictly

future parents in Las I really don’t
like

meaning people parents for new I can
avoid the whole

thing altogether have ever met your
girlfriend’s parents

yeah I’ve never had then been like
strict there

have a theme super strict are you good
with parents governments parents

I think everyone thinks are you with
parents but most people aren’t

really imagine I am and I could with
anyone where

I think it did you ever liked you I
think you’re great with people

you have this a you can’t happen your
brain you are a cable having made the

most boring small talk

like very like every time I’ve ever seen
in a bar talking to someone he is just

like

you’re going to my eliminate your smile
your laugh at you commit you need

you have this ability to convince
commits people your normal in small

bursts

I to look at Iran you’re abnormal

but I have billy the kid that like a
serial killer

you’re able to but people’s guards down
for long enough to infiltrate

yeah before you show off your true
colors which is a sociopath

neither sociopath but some type of bomb
deranged

de Luna Taylor distorts did

deal I I’ll take that as a compliment I

are you good with parents Jake I’ll be
credible threats

yeah because you’re polite yet you’re
funny

your normal yeah I think that’s the big
one is just being normal

yeah be normal and will the another this
guide asking for advice to have to go

with parents but like

the biggest the all the parents want is
for their kid to be happy and loved

three show them that you love

their kid sure in like your hey I I’ll I
really love her I think she’s really

important I know you think she’s a
special is ideal and they’re like oh

yeah

you’re good to go yeah okay SL so here’s
why I think with this guy needs to deal

right short of killing them

if the planet you have to plant seeds

so you have to be like seeds of doubt
yet there are two trees have misery

yes so inured with your girlfriend and
her parents being over barry like um ano

kinda wish I could spend some alone time
with just me and you it sounds positive

and that she sorta realizes oh yeah I
wish that too

my parents prevent me from doing it I’ll
and a v-shaped you don’t think so

I think you are the exact of the ruin
you become super overprotective of her

important for parents 3 the parent-child
a

allies the you’re giving a nod and
advise a month later

to maybe at you like you up to the
parents

you mean like this is how you treat your
daughter I

up go biking you mind I get with dollars
by kids

Yahoo’s you to eat in the mirror on and
then to you

after change yourself so you can view
the treated like garbage for a month

maybe two no not garbage you just like
overpowering overbearing

yeah and then when she starts to
complain about you hold a mirror up to

herself and we’ll let you know what

that’s your parents react like or you
wanna wait till the parents complain to

let you know if that’s where you’re

you’ve been acting like a whole whole
family conference

of both family black AZT an intervention
of sorts

I’ll take it or leave it that way advise
that Dave’s have you ever

had strict parents in-laws or
girlfriends parents

lemme Muslim have been cool right

yeah I think they’ve always been cool I
feel like we’re at my problem is that

like

um some had done with someone who really
like their family I really like my

family so it’s like tough to balance
like whose family we spend time with

yeah but I mean and it’s always been
fired I’ve never had a problem really

it is a hard thing because when you love
someone you don’t wanna

get rid of them just based on their
parents but like

parents can be difficult like that’s
like a difficult curveball that you can

choose at all

yes that’s too I guess family their
girlfriends family can be difficult

I feel like in my situation my family’s
always the more difficult one

lol they said like my parents are more
intense than any of my girlfriend’s

parents never been rather scary

yeah by I mean I’m not merely iraq yeah

and I guess

yet stuff but also like you this dick
this kid is it like

the honeymoon stage is that has been
opened yet been dating her for a year

yet yeah

so we probably I that there’s some level
like I want a lot of time with this girl

and any can have it right now but maybe
in a in

give it some time and everybody’s gonna
like ease into it

other she’s 25 it has the text pictures
of her outfit to her mom for approval

yeah that’s crazy that’s not all right I
think I did begin

if have an open conversation with her
about that like some stuff is a little

bit too extreme

maybe choose the most extreme step is
what I would do I would choose the most

extreme stuff

and start with those things first you
like maybe you shouldn’t say and out

pictures a great talent they do your
parents think the things that you can

comment on an ETA like sorta that plant
the seed moved to

yeah like I wonder if that follows the
rule all the way down to you this day

yeah I wonder what they’re living at
home thing is you think she can’t move

out until she’s married

that seems weird because she should if
even if their structure should be ok a

lot like live on your own or with other

girls are you know people she’s not
sleeping with her someday

you know I don’t know anything about
religion or anything like that but I’m

gonna go ahead and guess this person’s
mormon

with on without knowing much about
Mormon is among gonna say this person is

probably more min

will keep in mind is a complete shut the
dark I cannot stress enough I don’t know

the rules a Mormon -ism

I don’t know how it affects people why
they act but I can say

well with almost a 100 percent certainty
that I think this person

this is this is a Mormon up her she’s
become Mormon

is this is a latter-day saints I I was
completely agree with you mare

well that she’s a Mormon yet now well
there you have it to herman’s against

one latter-day saints and I am a

a fatter gate paint I

perfect timing for Jeff just entered
with our drinks

but love you make it sound like I
libations I’m just glad he came in red

I’m a fatter gate ain’t

gracias hermano mi hermano

I I actually go on to the next question
is there anything you want to delve

deeper and let’s go into question the
first

gentleman cheers add to our triumphant
return to New York City

than a gravel to you having two days

and two twins on our podcast its

it’s an honor a privilege and frankly

the dream come true but I think I love
you both I’m between

rose and Rosie and now day this is our
third rows basically

in 2 episode insane thats who would’ve

a trifecta never so perfect it hurts the
heart

a traditional like any other it’s the
masters of podcasts

alright next question let’s do it i’ma

gosh one see if thanks for the libations
Jeff

ready to imbibe krueger your smart I’m
gonna let me these words

I you’re kinda its

Eve feel idea ever listen to the Ricky
Gervais podcast

no who’s that I you can I like our karl
Pilkington like the guy to have around

just cuz

his opinions are so unique and different
we should doing %ah

got I would love there was always on the
podcast II

there you’re paid for that dear you do
you have a

female character Maggie Maggie

I Maggie rights an

hey guys I’ve been in a serious
relationship with my amazing boyfriend

for nine months now

everything was great except for one
little secret that I had kept to myself

for a few weeks

and I would love to hear your guy’s
opinion before we were dating

I was dating somebody else during that
relationship we have had kind of a wet

snuggle with another guy friend

and since then the relationship between
me and that guy friend have been awkward

yet playful but only in a verbal kind of
way

just a few weeks ago I was online
chatting with this guy friend again

and somehow we both agree that we miss
that night a spontaneous wet snuggling

and I have jokingly promised him we
would fuck for real

if we both got out of our current
relationships is this

cheating well to be fair I have cheated
on my ex with that guy already if wet

snuggles count as cheating

and to be honest I’m very curious what
sex would be like with that guy

and a pretty sure he feels the same way
am i a terrible girlfriend for promising

casual sex

with another dude while in a serious
relationship thanks

Maggie thanks maybe I

they devalue day to you thanks for
reading in at all

first and foremost yeah I love it I a
little less logo

analytical question when idle I get to
meet I imagined it sort of like

Spoony while you’re kissing the person’s
neck and maybe you’re like feel your

pussy or something

you may be like making out it’s like
lazy sleepy snugly

where you’re exploring each others
bodies but not have exact what’s the

wetness what’s the moisture

I think wet pussy pre-cum I just saliva

well the nod jizzing maybe that’s for
the witness to

near like upping your butt crack or
something yeah okay

cell as with a month for another podcast
but but you know

I let’s say that for some real semana
she is your number one be

man everyone who be I i feel back on
your mama be

well where by saying is your number one
be my mouth my number one

be year yeah was that even mean like a
don’t trust the b—- like that B word

what he talkin you know I’m talking
about the word be I

D&I do not get it still are you doing a
bit

are you talking about you don’t get it
from what bit

I I’ll Davion are talking about

Bito bit bit now lol sure that had a
bitch

thanks to her tits latina today about
yeah

well I’m call your mother that a

I was only lived by maternal the bike as
we got ’em dead to rights

smokin Joe called you a better I

live through the whole thing is a set up
we’re not even recording a podcast

a do that as your question about what
snuggles first and foremost

okay thoughts it basically not sex but
physical

snuggle age yeah because the hell I bet
grounding the question is one

is it cheating to promise sex to a guy

al if and when you leave a relationship
into does that make her a terrible

girlfriend

she also asked if wet snuggling
countless cheating for

what you cheated on iraq’s by doing the
wet snuggle well i think thats

I that’s a different I say yes any
physical that action is cheating

but got to the second question Dave you
ever let’s say you have a girlfriend

is she promises another guy a sex act

deputy promises another guy sex would
you say she’s cheated on you

I my take on all relationships to sort a
big difference is bliss

you know I don’t wanna know anything
don’t tell me anything

a and you know the witching hour there
that’s the

I food so your take is they can even

cheat on someone as long as you don’t
know about it

oh yeah I mean I wanna no merit to begin
with so

there’s nothing happening wow you are
liberal dude

no I’m not I’m actually I’m he offered
to the deadline

I’m so conservative that if I ever found
out anything

yeah I would just go crazy at the I

because of their role because I I hate
being the jealous type but

I I know I am and I can’t change that to
its better for me just not to know

lout all Europeans are so different that
I don’t even know when to start

where to start right it’s like you’re
you’re rule base is so liberal I care

but I don’t find out is not a problem is
so liberal

but your reaction to get finding out
would be very conservative

anger a screaming yelling your a

jealous hate mmm-hmm right okay
intensity

but thats or how you are with board
games to like efforts I’m not I’m not

cheating if I don’t get contract

that’s more Japanese I still love Chini
in boarding

that would add up to thaw the herb or
you know I

caught you cheating what time did we’re
playing a game of a life I

the actual game where just live it just
needs to have let me know it plainly to

get the actual let him write we’re
playing that

a monopoly or something I caught him
cheating as you’re cheating any other I

she told me I yeah I know that’s why
everyone cheats ever linseed still when

there’s no hurry to the plight of jeans
I G just for that you’re not there

the Joker users cheaper than three love
it with ice sheet to lose

you’re really your so you’re saying this
girl is not hasn’t done anything wrong

because our weapon doesn’t know she’s
are saying

she won’t have done anything wrong if

she doesn’t tell anyone anything

including this podcast fluent in this
case you are wrong you think a

so the cheating is is writing in not
actually doing this thing promising sex

is it’s not it’s beyond flirty but I
don’t think it’s cheating

I think it’s fucked up yes %uh the
question so it’s not cheating but you

are a bad girlfriend playing with a pink
about

they’ve got everything you’re doing out
in the open and

it like if your boyfriend found out you
be mortified and he’d be hurt so what

you’re doing is fucked up

it is right basically I always act as
though

my significant other is a foot away from
me

always so I never I’m like scared

to flirt I’m scared to talk I’m scared
to look at you last they’re all friends

on

on Twitter or Facebook yeah I picked it
up a bit as easy I i don’t want to

subject my significant other end up with
a way for me to this stage

you no I pardon from II girlfriends when
I do have girlfriends that is

right card for how that might actually
also be a part of the West snuggle

the let them I to my serve the partner

but that yet when I’m in a relationship
that’s how I like treat my life I feel

like as though

there’s this ghost a lady here always
staring at me judging me

so it’s like its kinda admirable because
it’s like I’m not doing anything wrong

but then it’s like

I have to do I Sourav I’m only doing it
because I don’t wanna quote get in

trouble again countries with the second
part by part of my

my a statement it is fucked up but at
the same time you not like everybody’s

fucked up a little bit

I have people do but that shit all the
time I’m not sure not cheating which is

the most fucked up thing

yeah she’s not actually snuggling where
she has that this kind of like

it’s a cheap thrill but it’s not
actually doing any damage would just

hurt someone’s feelings yeah

so I think you’ve done like the lesser
of two evils yeah the emotional cheat

not the physical cheap without emotional
cheat tool

adding as it is it’s a little body as
fuck fantasies yeah but this girl

actually told the guy that’s like
starting to like creep into the reality

I will def

if I’m single I’ll do it but I mean if
you want to do it is get single and then

do it

yeah it seems like that’s the first step
towards breaking up is like

/url if I were single I’d fuck you Army
till

I then it’s like okay that’s the terrier
promised each other I get single and

fuck

so all I have to do is get single and
then I know I can fuck you

that is the love the best part about
getting out a relationship though I

cashing in on all that like flirting
that you’ve done I like all this

the subtext jewel flower in LA I can
ever do this because

but a line outside okay I’m liberated
I’m a free agent

right have never yet yet yet yet oh yes
net %ah got

hoop that’s like that’s the honeymoon
phase are being broken up

yeah like the first X amount of weeks
months whatever feels great

and then you start settling into the
reality once you’ve exhausted all those

resources and you look around and
everyone just

empty and cold day like Ono I believed I
was your

I years so acutely aware that emotion

now i’m a i’m a totally different person
I have emotions when are you David

broken up with a girl the yes and no
more no

I yet broken up I ride that shit out
till it and

yeah I’m never end anything from and I
just become such a bad person that I

force a girl to and

you’re one of those guys yeah little
about myself

yeah I don’t tell don’t hate about
myself in but that’s another

that’s like one of the things people
learn as as they grow older

is that when you’re young you’re like I
want to break up

are just be bad distant uninterested
until the other person breaks up with me

that way I don’t have to actually go
through it

and then after you’ve done that maybe
once or twice you realize eyelets easier

it is to have one terrible conversation
and not have to be in this relationship

for next year

maybe and sounds like good advice

but the problem is I think like you got
your not in a you have a lot of time to

like

dabble with being in a relationship like
if you start at age

18 you want to get married by you know
28 to 33

you only have so many years have being
an expert before you get tied down and

some people even just like

settle down much earlier than that led
to you know to be perfectly honest

the advancement in our technology in
size over the next ten or twenty years

means we’re all gonna live for a very
long time

how long lady what’s your theory on that
how you prolly

no 150 maybe 200 using the first person
who can be 200 is already born oh yeah I

do

I watch Ted talks: to act I

250 this actually brings us to our can
bring us to our break torie and

finish this guy’s yeah it’s fucked up
you haven’t cheated but don’t

Daniele through because then that’s
cheating yeah ok cool

let’s go to the break or just talk about
Dave greats

some authors all i’ve been waiting for I
don’t even have to answer another

question

I am what’s like a good he said you
listen a TED Talks their own minds may

have

I think once I A sigh you

audio recording a all hands meeting a
college humor

yeah I was late you can so what is
circling explain what that is

that is me not remembering anything the
one ever says so what do you do

listen to a five or six times SAU record
meetings

really let it sink in you record every
meeting the

yeah I do your court every meeting that
you have any listen to it later like a

podcast

I record 12 hours every day and then I
listen to it for the

reverse twelve hours each for a total of
like am

constantly living yeah been the bats the
same day

a twice I am

if they give your watch the first half a
groundhog Day yeah

twice in a row yeah I you are suspect as
someone I like listens to a lot of my

castle like to EXPEED

1.5 a night at the two actually a

don’t be like to cram in a lot of life
in your life I

I’ve rain in thai teen fashion to crank
it up to 3 action that matter

I who that’s where it’s just gibberish

there’s no limit to how many how often
and how much

data i cant stuff in my brain at every
minute I am curious what the

why they even have that feature let
which one

the they have the 1.5 and then they have
the two times

speed for likud people using that would
suck

probably right it just seems like you do
cycle

20 ality and it’s just like a like

if you’re the think like a business
podcast like I don’t know the economy or

something but

I think that future did with using their
future

people who are in a rush I’ve watched
one movie

at 1.5 speed I handball movie

yeah lie it was our worst really now my
junior year of college

I did mushrooms no and we watched
Tenacious D Pick of Destiny

I all the way through like on up
PlayStation 3

and then have to use overlook what do we
do now

and someone accidentally like it the
remote a and it puts it like 1.5 speed

and wash a home movie again in like

an hour and let you better I

really was any other funny Dave
anecdotes that can come to mind her

questions

the the learn that I was the year when
you’re talking about day it will be a.m.

was it his last opinion on the a TED
Talks there other people living to be

200 yeah

not when we were in when we were in it
Ann Arbor are you that

yeah I’m a little groggy because we like
drink a lot of vodka and we smoked like

a joint to our faith

but we were their city in this it was me
who they couldn’t my friends

little brothers not house here

and we’re all talking about Lake I can
deep meaningful things out like

Earth and space and what they like you
know they’re they’re like college kids

but we like

came came to their level were like we
were talking like button keep

stoners we’re learning a lot you know
right like questioning things

Anna like Audi s8 the moon landing was
real unlike you said some stuff and I

like gave I had

I give some stuff in there we as daily
day buddy do you think the Moulin Israel

Apple

a measure the moods realign I yeah I
mean I think that’s a fair assessment

a the celestial object to the rotating
around your

you said do you actually think that are
you just trying to be silly

I’ll no let’s go it’s chilly

I whether the party view that wouldn’t
be either resent the prize at the moon

wasn’t real

you know you can’t really know anything
a thorough

at well I think about stuff who knows

so that’s where we differ I think there

plenty of people who are smarter than us
are smarter than us 3i should say

they know a lot especially the fact that
the moon is real

would you call them liars well it
depends how you define real

a Friday he would you be willing to talk
about your near-death experience

add I

some /url boy keep in mind only 70,000
people listen to the snack seventies

nice the United up the United in any
faults in this

the story no I’m not yet sure why not

so it was a near death experience hear
the story I think I’ve heard it but

maybe not from Dave exactly

yes like a a month in to college

jam you will look to new who is a real
quick anecdote about jam you’d

day Jeff in day went to the same school
I

for anybody not the I they probably know
anyone listening that by now but Jeff

and a ver identical twins yeah

and they lived in different dorms and
they’d didn’t hang out

during a press release college and they
would see each other on campus and not

even acknowledge wanna know that baby
even though they’re

and at some points like since back then
a

you know that’s a lie ahead basically
looked

yeah I didn’t know the difference and
sometimes as a people would see

Jeff value their heyday and I just be a
hey

I they did this in detail his identity

a but never hung out together that’s
pretty awesome that I

thank God we with the movie fun fun then
she at 1.5 speed

year with on to win the 91 minutes I hit
the air pressure in your JMU

your freshman year at JMU I setup

party I A yes luv whatever

party at ended up like pledging the
fraternity

and you join a frat I joined a frat but
this was like before I was in the frat

this is like what I wanted

people on the frat to think I was cool
right by the way to call your friend

dog lawyer for suree a frat with not
just another planet

you in a draw your country a cut the did
they have avoided by guest I is a

welcome to this kind

I love living in this country you get on
calling it a cunt

laying out a good idea helpful planned a
cartel I get a fucking near death exp

up so I ended up going home with this
girl was like a senior

very nice press my friend with Xiao Xin
89 what would your anchor did

solid three they hate to hear okay

check from West Virginia they got tales
happen and the relief

I’m and then I

I got back to our place

two hours later after I like didn’t know
how to have sex with eric says ago I i

seem like a senior in college like be
the one to like

up make all the moves and i got up with
you now

hmm and I ok to buy having to you

walk back to campus because those thick
nervous that

she would like wake up in the morning be
a ok

misdeeds a freshman I know the allograft
like driving back to his dorm

right and I didn’t wanna like be a part
of that Arbor Drive so I know blocking

back which is like

four miles maybe so this is what I’m in
them there’s like three or four in the

morning at 3am after hooking up with
this girl

you know what you’re talking about
you’re sort said the AM sorta hooking up

as he drove when those times where like
a girls wearing like spandex and I’m

like ok is those

can this be like use as like a condom if
I don’t have a case where

3 a.m. you and what you wet snuggled
with this girl but I’ll

and you’re ashamed to sleep next there
cuz your fragile find out he relates to

you decide to you

walk for miles back to campus yes I got
about like half a mile or mile

an hour and %uh picture-taking thumbing
a ride as it were

from indeed we’ll get to that bar mmm

a the end then the guy in so there’s
emerging is actually like a pretty big a

consider the East the math capital the
East Coast

because I there’s like a lot of math
labs in the hills for

Shenandoah Valley me and I 81 crosses
right through the college to

this like a lotto where truckers in got
jacked and tan ship

and yeah this guy like a try to

play with my balls in my day can share
and you know I jump to the car

a hijacking cuz right of the census mail
haha

I half deaf my right ear okay her

the say a lot better than I i humor
yesterday back up a little bit I

you you told us about the for to
prudently about using spandex

a condom and and then you got to the
trucker try to touch your dick involve

the new Google Australia yeah I’ll

yeah I V me know good you would do that
with the honey like known for going

where tonight hat probably

I

um Callisto 18 year old body this dude
tried to molest you

which that’s true but yeah I did for
yeah

well yeah it is yeah he was on met at
the time for some drug

are you there yet addicted to drugs is a
crazy person you jumped out of the car

I did about the crowd passes the car
going all I can average speed I guess

it’s like 30

5 okay so you job at a car that point
your

also got 35 miles per hour if I remember
physics ear

you’re flying across the ground at 35
miles per hour you hit something

new way it will be a game ahead with
like I would

open the door and Mike do this like da
bass like talkin role

yeah like that out jobs alright then you
get up brush yourself off and take a

motorcycle back to the girl

yeah but this is however the to add to
that all you today eighty years right

then

but it kinda went down old differently
wears like I imagine

I open the door and it probably if you
saw

happen a private like I dislike fell out
and if in my head

now you hear it on the ground rather and
then I went unconscious

instantly instantly do you remember
heard is your mind block out like that

leaving other car um a

be remembered as opening the door and
then nothing else and then waking up in

hospital know the night in the hospital
I i woke up in the street with the

flashlight in my face

whose I think like a two girls found me

laying in the street and called the
ambulance well

and then like I i remember i screaming
haha because like a

I guess whenever they find someone
unconscious they’re like worried that

their neck is broken frame like strap-on

to some shit yet a stretcher with a neck
brace

yep you know those two girls are I am

no I don’t Wow so that is lucky for
every never saw them again

is there’s a bill at they did say my
life and then

what is about a comma ok yet lied to be
in like a drug

drug-induced coma for like 45 Dave

for them to do so surgery and my brain
is a

I you know do you go well

I now jobs yet yeah i i became fluent

7 mainly I through you go there you if
true

I I you think that is dat be reprogram
your brain added functionality to it

the it’s possible if you watch the
proper TED Talks feel like gain a little

bit of understanding of nanotechnology

how do you think that’s changed you
going forward um

a week a month a year earlier like a
trucking eat pussy

dairy let it be there before now the
only in an affable

I but the lead the cell where you would
see reviewer’s

no I only you asshole vegetarian heated
it’s a pure

organic taste to it up

yo lead as a leader said now you can eat
with you for days

my pussy and then I go to that of all
the hassles semi-desert

are only as old as and now there’s a

line it was a they both become one
entity when you’re when you look as long

as far as I’d and is there anything else
other than

or I like a bug line is that you have to
do

I 21 questions I there’s no smell I
don’t like

you’re gone down on world were killed
but holding you have their vaginas

with Sourav like a doll entity in the I

maybe what II I don’t suede left for our
sway for eighteen your style I think way

pup

and then down RA okay I create a shit
trail from me at all to the belly a

made no I don’t have you on it to do
this well you ever gonna chill it

there’s the chills smears

I ever Tobacco Road is a chocolate road
i right

I’ll is anything else you want to delve
into should try to answer one more

question for you have to go

as we can answer one more I am and I
could tell their stories all day

yeah we need to have him back because
it’s a never-ending see Remy weave

did you talk about the choke slam in in
Wisconsin I talked about that I thought

on the part I II Kyle out a bit earlier
I’ve listened to every part

I I we need one more dude question

nor did name Marty heart Mighty Heart
Marty Hurney rights

hey dudes I don’t have a girlfriend I
think the reason is that I’m so damn

serious

I don’t laugh a lot and although I
sometimes can come up with funny jokes

I think it’s not very often and in a
party I only start to talk when it’s

about a serious issue

like politics literature et cetera I
don’t think girls this like me but I

feel like they cannot get close to me

I make them uncomfortable what should I
do for you too

how much is being funny has helped you
to get laid thanks

Marty heart I’ll take this one I think
yeah

theme fair haha do you consider yourself
a funny person

I used to be a more than you for enter
the work world and taxes and health

insurance can you get to %um you know

their health insurance Yahoo you work at
a company that pay the

I I got that right my friend what up
god’s humor

dot com check it out yeah show one word

and now they’re now they’ve they’ve they
know who we are there prior ecology rare

and what is the website with two words
that’s not a thing they could be here

for the holidays

tell us about way why you wanted to take
this question was questioning in

I it how do you be funny anything funny
helps you get laid

I’ll yeah fine definitely helps you get
laid

although i mean there are unfunny girls
so right

there’s deadly boring people are with
boring people yeah

isn’t it weird to think like we only
hang out funny people there’s a whole

pretty large section a population that
isn’t funny well then 18 and funny guy

hangs out with an unfunny girl they can
go weeks without making jokes

you think that’s true I think people
always find a way to to amuse themselves

so it’s not necessarily I type of humor
we don’t think they’re funny but they

laugh

but I think there are some people who
are seriously I don’t make jokes

I just to make church those don’t think
I’d to make chocolate I think that’s

possible

your brakes power from but it is doable
and then those states the guys find

those types a girl’s

read it doesn’t he doesn’t wanna he does
this guy doesn’t wanna laugh and make

jokes he once they get pussy which is

yeah but it’s tough if you I now i mean
there’s so many factors to go into

quote-unquote

getting laid being funny is just one of
them but if you’re funny

how did you get laid a few may cause
uncomfortable yeah but I’m ripped

in all the right places well what other
had fled the wrong places actually

units I a rib Dana I

yeah I the thing he considers your
center here a way to get girls or is it

more like the fact that you’re 6-foot-3

190 pounds 604

1050 I

love your brain where I should I make
you believe a lie I have heard is

governed ago the Exeter

or do fifty no I’m not through fifty you
liar

the zakat hit Jeff at the next wrench to
Islay every time mister News Translation

meta

good so you started at like Jeff

is he said he said 61 and now we have to
fix for

I saving the legs they realize there is
a 6-foot-5

I rolled a I missed 10 the deadline so
I’m gonna go straight to 6x

I Michael Jordan site i right %uh

so year yet I’ll you’re attractive you
think you’re also funny think that helps

you get laid

yep a deafening it to the I don’t know I
can a problem now are not to mention it

before but that action a mi me like half
deaf

and I so it’s really hard for me to hear
what girls living

saying at bars or clubs so I could have
to do this thing now where I’m like

having one way conversations and trying
to assume stuff they say

and it’s sort of like a weird game where
I’m I’m

having a conversation with someone not
knowing what fifty percent in a

conversation is

so for me I have to wake randomly come
up with stuff that somehow

relevant to her expressions and not the
word she saying

and so i feel like im forced to try and
be creative when I talk to people

just because I can’t hear anything
they’re saying ever interesting at the

end

says that would you see that was you
that your game I recently

since I moved to New York as and what’s
how would you describe your game like

you see a girl that you’re attracted to
a bar

and like we talk enough about how we get
girls I wanna know

three-year Lanzi find someone that
attractive at a bar what do you do

her boy he know shed a couple close

there do some pushups in the bathroom
publisher

a Carmel honey bee eater

yeah I date doesn’t approach girls I
don’t think

do II don’t actually I don’t know David
it does really well per day because he’s

like statuesque an attractive it is
kinda brooding an intense

yeah go somewhere DC galapagos giving
you the I yet that

labeled though given the I like will go
into a bar

and like sloppily drunk girls will just
come up today from

I don’t know it’s pretty awesome and
yeah be there ways did they do but they

just wanna buy can make it like there
was a girl that came up to you which is

like

my friend that me I had like that I had
the case you and your like okay we

started making out with her and
meanwhile there was a girl coming to the

bar to be here

here baby I remember that ever happening
in your when you’re my baby no Himitsu

I can ever happening I angulated his
pocket he live band at a later 11 him

militants my dad did you come down and
see making out do

were reversed by the whiskey whiskey a
good yeah

does we’re other events much interesting

interesting night I yet that is what
happened

I I always get in trouble for doing dumb
stuff like

stop doing dumb stuff a true like give
us an example the

funny dumb and a a I always get in
trouble for doing

bad in wrong things with girls yeah

okay which is like a E lets the done the
strongest thing that pops into your

brain right now

the you’re out your meeting people
you’re at a bar

even if you take it’s never like with a
girl from even if I

like two girls so always n up being at
the spot that I am

and tapping consistently my entire to
get is getting caught out

it’s like getting called out for
something I chin even be called out when

the first spot

but I’m I can never do anything like
slob

I have never been the guy to be able to
do that knock from that kimball

maybe I’m not capable at the same I

track sale but so that the guy with the
game with your game

home but have a game you do because
you’re a

your ladies man starts Jason Allen VA he
seen at their glasses

now playing the twin carter’s awfully
great reading at

take a ploy my website area ok we’re
gonna love you did it last night Jeff

but when Sir stock I’ll

what is that it’s Jeff and I gonna 24/7

at a value to embarrass years have tears

I it went says that common available in
the owner at least on the URL

we aren’t twinset stack up I

I said do you have you have any funny
Dave

a lady stories like keitel

I will tell the specific cell 1 but I do
have one eyed

eg I mean I’m not gonna stop you to your
podcast it’s your fucking parka I’m not

tellin if you really hate it when I’m
done then and we can cut it out there

so we were out amid a ver out one night
we were it was like

well as Thursday nights you know where
you soon that Thursday that manic there

they mean by where we really need it you
know

so you’re out we read that we’re at our
old corner

later on 11th and berry I was the run
around all this work with you bro

compare read

so where we are with you but there’s
nothing on our like I didn’t

we gotta we have had fun girls we made
it through the night at like whites

like we were but we like all about this
corner here

to a report from the way to whiskey to
Brooklyn Bowl pick in folk

and light only leave this one square
block yet but it’s like 3am there’s

nothing happening

put the ball so your body can folklore
were

I like try to find it but my jacket Dave
goes does the band his lappy comes out

as I

dirty is not like just like now go go

you like the just three outside like
there’s a fire in the back like we have

to get out

as they it was almost 4 a.m. at this
point we just needed to go to a bar with

no

girl gone we just needed 69 we walk down
the aisle to the blocked like 63 went

into

I’ll 50 blocks cameo yep

I we waited dave did a lap came out like
now

we gotta go words are we ok on the way
can be a winter bird bird is but it was

close though we were the Cameo like now
we gotta gotta gotta go

and at this point I was like to thank
for a ride I was like

it was four bar everything’s closed in a
mic a drama has like dr. done as I can

happen I’m gonna go home

now we may need a cheeseburger that’s
probably what I did

Dave meanwhile went to like a 24-hour
bagel shop

found somebody at 5am doctor on a group

well I wanna know I don’t know or out
over almost that I don’t know how you go

from bagel shot the fucking on a roof
because he doesn’t give up

a plotter say Lynch fell sure yet how we
can you tell me

what happened what it what did you do
how did you do that

then it’s four in the morning okay do it
see you go out there really high

what’s your name no idea I don’t even
say anything you’ll have to do

is that your the it’s like you’re there
I’m desperate are you desperate

yes I have a roof item I have

let a lady I just tip my hat yeah I we
care about they finally came out

hustled out for max I’ll give you the
real reason for the had actually just

came to me

my brain so dysfunctional but it came to
me and I when you’re when you’re al

in Lake the hat ads like maybe like 45
differ moved to Lake

any through rough dance repertoire you
know hours ago

the accessories are up be a so I guess I
don’t need to wear during that day

but I get used to it there were not many
it’s nice to have a net it’s a security

blanket asserts

definitely is I am iraq

you have an ETA hathaway’s know it comes
full circle we start with the hat we

hadn’t looked at noon

dave thank you so much it was a failure
I

others what we said you its opening
outlets rocket dinner and redo this

a out and i wanna hit over the hour mark
we’d ever away with everyone to have you

back because there’s a

there’s a lot more fertile ground to be
a what he do with fertile ground

sewed yeah there’s a lot more fertile
ground to be said but thanks for coming

on and

at least getting this first one on here
about the first one’s always the hardest

miss next time you gonna be very
comfortable great casual

you know really really unload some real
deep dark secrets

your yeah but I’ll the burst the opening
theme song we’re still accepting theme

Sox emissions was

from america up like we said before from
Steve and Malika bush

and this last theme song was from
somebody

who a I forget i think is there was some
things in Clare

but his rap name is mister synchro
double

which is probably better than his real
name anywhere awesome thanks again for

listening to everybody

keep those are questions come into a
fiery show at gmail dot com keep the

theme songs coming to a fiery showed a
calm

did you have anything you want to block
before we go to enter started by a third

delgado rag picker

yell got on being called out on blast
last moment a list by chance a brief

moon themes

dude from

on

me %uh were your attitude J

guinevere to you everything’s the day’s
events and everything is clear you’ll

the back in Madison enjoy the show you
got a problem

curtains that an old and the answer espy
just given advice

they’re gonna take down the name gonna
be nice you thought you were a cool

the answer is No but maybe you could not
to be my hash tag don’t mind them and it

like this

is that we show it’s got some plans a
special gift to make this a three-way on

ya basta would be 10

what’s really going on the mela I will
you show gmail dot com

Totowa

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