Episode 70: One Word Texts

Description:

In this episode we discuss text messages, breaking up, and great ideas.

This episode is brought to you by OurTunez.com – The best way to discover new music, and get paid for uploading your own! Check outwww.ourtunez.com/ifiwereyou and use promo code “Jake” or “Amir” for FREE six month premium membership.

hey you get your hands up an hour till

how what that’s the slogan this week
sponsored

our two a who sued told you I was the
slogan is up more right now

get a deal today about /url on

so the service that is right the way our
tunes dot com

pay you get a hand up at searle and
thats tunes with easy as in is the best

yes the best seller others though it
still is

our tunes basically it’s a great way to
discover and stream

new great music to your phone

or your computer yeah you get our tunes
dot com

you can enjoy a greater somber ID then
Pandora

its %uh and it’s free to sign up and
it’s free to download

also the middle contest for us last week
a promo code battle

between my name in yours people voted on
whoever thinks

there will have a better sense have
music to green-line

to create their own channel I N and

go on and I guess you 1 so I

now when you go away now in UK bill it
to head up up to

balloons that the person you guys chose
this as your elected king yeah

has a zero official I and math der a
gradual agency hired all the players you

at our tune the dot com slash

if I were you you can see discover Jakes
playlist the

he’s gonna share with you guys hope you
had like hip-hop where happen

had

an a a and you can still use a either
those promo codes Jake

or a mere for a a six-month premium

membership that’s unlimited listening
our skips and no

audio ad school and also I’ll if you’re
a if you’re a musician yourself or

comedian you can upload your songs

or comedy bits sticks sketches whatever
the heck you want and

royalties will pay indie artists more
than any other music streaming site up

to a penny

per play seeking gain exposure and you
can learn and discover new music

that’s a pretty cool website i like it
the

thanks to our tunes for building that
little contest for us and you guys can

thank them yourself by going to our
tunes that

our tunes with the dot com slash if I
were you

and use our prime occurred to sign up
now

Han as for this episode

yeah I L what can we say

I left say there is nothing left to

the obviously things got real to that we
say amen to that we say towed at

Teradata Diane to that we say

just keep livin please GI yeah

I’ll will you %uh

I’ll show you what to do

%uh I’m bad

you home I’m

mom

Yahoo won’t be worry %uh

mine

low forehead

if you were me you would be free

leads beautiful but also a little
self-aggrandizing

I I were you I’d show you what to do and
if you were me

you’d be free yeah that guy has a high
opinion of himself and I guess who

wouldn’t cuz he can play the guitar than
a dollar

a few a guy’s name is Simon cyber Nene’s
from Denmark

alone I yeah he is free and I just want
it really quickly ask for more thing

sounds emissions were running low

save you can if you can write your own
thing some we start every episode with

the new themes on it be a great one

as well as Simon can please please
please

diggin reblogged the big big big winner

a blogger eighth-grade favorite we
needed all also send it to us as an mp3

admire him he had a fire you show a
gmail dot com

if you can play music that well

would you like is mmm

how much I S is could you use it to get
girls yeah

but if you were you don’t do a concert
what would you do

like invite girls over and play music
for numbers that cheesy

will it kinda depends like I’d I would
this was be

I like when I was in high school and
college I try to play the guitar that

good it was like

even doing it all worked all right let’s
say

let’s say now would you do that but you
pull that out are

that considered a Jeezy in a different
way I would laugh at myself to be like

look I know who know the

I do all the cords to crash right hand
side like played as a joke with a little

oppressive that I can play Crash any be
at a great boy said bili actually pretty

good as well as I don’t have a great
voice that right outside

I can only sell things in the job market
but I think if you sell something as a

joke in the also a great voice and
that’s pretty good

right seas have to see you have to start
it off as a joke

right it’s always got to be a joke right
like really earnestly pick up the guitar

and you’re like this season’s

I’m zina players will be ready for you
that everybody is like now

don’t do that right everyone thought
laugh and then be impressed with you

laughing at like the Gateway

yeah they go look I know there’s Green
Day Song know me and I was the ChiNext

18

um here’s one I made up I

let the problem with most talented teams
do she dealt with them out

right %um was I think United the
musician you have to like yet to be

basically begged

to play the guitar yeah maybe that’s
like the game is like a if you’re with

other people they have to

quote-unquote beg you to do it in front
of like people their child predator yeah

I think that’s the CAAR branstad beg you
to be

a talented and fire the people your
channel Press that that that’s the move

that the ticket not the trek as little
bit of unsolicited advice worry actually

start the show

a this podcast is called if I really
it’s the only advice podcast on the

Internet

hosted by us Eimear and I’m J i’ma

I’ll not the beloved unannounced I

that’s the thing that I’m sorta learning
how to do it I can never do it

I will never do that the bath water at
yeah I do that I can do it but I would

not do a double llama

likely I wouldn’t do it at a party to a
pearl I can’t do it to like put that

early I would beg you to do it at a
party has been I

but even I would feel bad to do it I
think even if you mail that it wouldn’t

necessarily be Impreza

right say that because it’s like not
it’s not something I wrote

yeah you know to be it would have to be
like you would have to be at a party

someone’s playing it everyone’s really
drunk and I rapping along with it

yeah and that lowers humorously good I
guess that’s true

I so how does this podcast work it’s
it’s it’s it’s a it’s a it’s a

today it is a rare disorders to spitzer

groups are I sprawl movies are okay you
added the right back as a bit earlier we

were absolutely get on Yahoo

yeah I’ll be any emails from people real
people

who are in real difficult places in
their lives and they look to us for

guidance

that email address if you find yourself
in a sticky situation once again same

email address for the theme song is a
fiery show at gmail dot com

so them and announce sure we get started

without further I will I

get started bail out again and her

now up will our boo Yahoo’s from a lot
and I

either way I alright so let’s give these
really emails from real people

fake names to preserve their anonymity
we will never disclose your real name

that’s right I am believe you like your
emails

a so what theme what should be call this
person

oh this is our visit we had a team this
the theme this week

is places our friend Mike arnelle is
traveling to you

yeah he’s part is doing a a web series
called don’t kill

Eli where people basically vote on where
to send this guy Eli and Carnell shoots

and edits all the footage yet to resolve
to battle you

should submit a cool episodes they’ve
been to three places so far

so check out don’t kill you lie on you
tube dot com not

tell you where they’ve been by maybe the
city’s alright

by TK go new beirut me here route

her rights all what up you devour
roaches

here’s a sticky wicket I found myself in
recently I’ve started seen this girl

I don’t think I need to tell you guys
but I will reassure you she is a god

damn smoke show

here’s the catch: after multiple dates
lots of smooches and lots of adult

sleepovers

she drops the bomb on me that she still
in a relationship with her long-distance

boyfriend

she’s not moving to where he lives he’s
not moving to where we live

but she still wants to make it work
there since been adult sleepovers and

dates but this smooches have started to
crawl to a stop

guys what should I do wait it out

I feel like waiting it out so high in
beirut

the dudes are deterred by the NFL but of
course you feel like waiting it out

because in your mind it’s gonna happen
right

I feel like waiting it out before it
could be given the letter per your

advise with the

what I this is what I wanna hear yeah
this is it be that here

this is another way to rephrase your
question beirut

to see you you understand how stupid it
is cool

hey guys I’m seeing this girl she has a
boyfriend and won’t kiss me

should I wait it out I feel like I
should wait it out

is that the switch is slow to a halt
yeah there were smooches

there were smooches there smooches an
adult sleepovers which I thought were

more extreme surgery but now there’s
just the adult sleepovers and no smooch

a really I thought

I thought adult sleepovers was fucking
yeah I guess is that this is not the way

to build up over this fucking

& smooches a disorder like PDA /url he
is like one other PDA start but we still

were still fucking

their work we’re not kissing but we’re
fucking I don’t know

which in which way like honestly the
what I want to do is advised the girl to

stop what she’s doing

yeah a letter yet while she sees
terribly wrong she’s basically cheating

on this guy

right that’s a that’s a that’s an
objective case I’m just I’m worried

about advising this guy

alright fine out old I would say to
beirut to just remove yourself from the

situation

be a you want to be part of this love
Bermuda Triangle

yeah a you think if you think is
actually burning this go there kissing

however bone someone with that never
kissing them

yeah but like you’ve done them before or
for the first and only time you’ve

bonded never kissed

arm I’m sure I’ve done that he sure
you’ve done

you you into burning without kissing
bodie are 0-2 bowl with no kissing you

you round the UN around the bases
without touching any of them

I’m sure that happened at least once
that’s tight to you to the air

that’s really bad that he did not know
how I chill you know that and now I am

another like the kingdom of God I ain’t
never kissed a girl with the PLO never

may dilute atmosphere at a bowling every
single time a yell Dublin back

I never had sex and lever I’ll so years
old and has a good grade

eighth grade I was closed in near pool
hey ninth grade I did over to paint

store like rubberized area or

after that it was a dry spell from 69

third dog collars you’re currently in
the ok I’ll dry spell

keep a spell ’em lead sort of connotes
the show a short amount of time right

now for a spell

at least know the final to connote to
curse I

well out either dries Ballard
reichardt’s is the guy he’s like the

dust bowl

and I a migrant farm worker who can’t
find any poop

it is a dry life not a dry spell a

where we’re way um advising beirut’s

yeah bitterroots first holiday you don’t
want to be the other guy

second law she’s not even giving you
kiss things anymore at this point

Russell lettuces is holding you
emotionally hostage

all she doesn’t she know her boyfriend
anymore

they handed out really literally means
nothing in this situation my way that

you’re not doing anything

yet leaves your home eating macaroni and
cheese that tactically waiting it out

because knowledge is hooking up with you

and I sleep in your own bed at be like I
believe the only way to get over her is

by finding somebody else

but you should actively be searching for
yeah once you find someone else that

doesn’t have a boyfriend you like holy
shit this is way better

this is so much better and also the only
way like you you can give this girl

exactly what exactly what she wants
right now she has like a boyfriend that

she feels like

loving relationship with and even though
they will never be in the same city

together

ready to get to be like oh I’m connected
to this person we’re in love

yes she’s like missing some sort of
physical contact which your

you’re giving her like you can’t do that
she didn’t get to do that

I’ll have like so she’s using him she’s
like you was that she was like sleep

next to someone

our shush okay so she’s just using him
for the physical affection using her

boyfriend but the emotional affection
earth would you like a big star vixen

temptress

callers like this a rude

beirut’s you’ve fallen for a whore by
accident

you Ono Ono beirut

she set a trap for you entree into it
sorry buddy

he fell down a hole or you can you can
escape the trap it’s time to bounce

peace out see you later forget that
share well lol

be you know they’re a come very cool

baseman a anything upsets left to say
about that on

I’m I don’t think so that we both agree
that he’s got you there’s no way to get

out as much as he wants to get a piece

it’s funny that when you’re in it though
you have no frickin clue rate yeah you

never do

you don’t get it I totally I totally
feel that that’s why the shows called if

I were you and we had to devise people

as if we’re the situation except without
being emotionally involved so

yeah we’re cheers Larry Bice is good
yeah because where where where

distance it we’ve distanced ourselves
that and cuz we’re smart

yeah I’m intelligent and I am 12 because
otherwise while you hang out with me

I am how I know right away and he said
that value is tied to whether or not I

like you

Ono Bowers Yahoo anchors floating in the
middle of the ocean not tied to anything

thinking bath a

iight next question loop a

next city let slip that make you at
Lebanon

a yes I believe so well you guys should
watch the show to

a bit wait a minute Beirut in Lebanon

O’Shea it Hwy 88

it was lebanon then then

then then then palestine

a Egypt Egypt Niger Egypt are you into
Jordan Jordan said

you want I’ll it is actually a person’s
name perfect

by that was I’m glad we got there Lynn

and I’m let mike got there safe and
sound here

agility Mikey K Jordan Jordan Jordan
rights

the dude sup my nerds have been dating
this girl in college for almost a year

now

we are like best friends and the girl is
a smoke show

I a lot of her fans just all exclusively
hook up in dade smoke like that’s great

I like that I like that these girls are
smoking because the guy I would hear

that we’ve cultivated

to an atmosphere where people readying a
and like you said

this girls 0 outta 10 I

you alright so evident in his girl
beautiful college role as the year now

we are like best friends in the girls a
smoke show

however we don’t agree on anything we
fight constantly she is an extremely

negative person and it seems as though
the sex slave is gone drastically

downhill

I was planning on breaking up with her
once we got at a school for the summer

to see if things got better

the problem is we share a lot of mutual
friends who all happen to be the same

girl who all happened to be girls

so I am afraid that I will lose all of
them to her also her dad is helping me

get a marketing internship for the
summer I don’t feel right about working

for him and breaking up with his
daughter to

if you were me when would you break up
with this girl how should I do it seeing

as though she is really clingy and
probably won’t see this coming

please help best Jordan hoe and Jordan

who sticky sticky said stayed here
difficult Citra shore

the rare pass for Jordan really at yeah

yield at sea with the field gone yeah we
go to the weed out no-show you’re gonna

show

I well this happens a lot

you you get your able to get someone is
super attractive

and you are just lovin life until the
physical attraction start to slip away

because you get used to seeing this
smoke show

she gets used up fucking you and then
you guys stop being physically into each

other

and now all that’s left is this is
personality they don’t get along with

their you find negative

you you don’t agree on anything you
fight constantly

yeah as he decided to break up when you
re read your email and realize he didn’t

say one positive thing about your
girlfriend

accept the chat with hot and that her
dad gave your marketing

internship got a job alright so how did
the job feel City

then you should get out at the situation
right you know like you mutual friends

you

you can’t stay with someone has you like
their friends yeah yeah friends just

like

be yourself do what you wanna do you
trust that the universe will still give

you friends especially these people are
gonna respect that you like

did the hard then you word you’re like
hey you know what I’m not invested in

this relationship anymore

I’m gonna peace out tell your dad thanks
but no thanks I don’t want to go into

marketing anymore the Asia

that’s fine you might have to take any
on the internship which as it turns out

is free

unpaid three months have labor so that’s
that might be a a bullet you dodged ill

you can get another internship also
yours breaking up with her

for the summer is fine because like the
mutual friends are gonna come into play

that much you know you’re gonna be a way
for them anyway I’ll be back home if

you’re leaving college suddenly it’s
more clear to us now than ever you

should

and will break up with this girl as soon
as possible

yeah I don’t drag it out as do it now
want to do is

once you decide to break up with someone
that’s the hardest part of the

relationship

and that’s the that’s like the dead zone
and that can last very very long like

once you’ve already made the decision
but can’t bring yourself to do it

yeah like that’s the that’s the part
where it’s just bad

where it’s like what’s Ron own nothing
I’m gonna get better I just feel weird

to yeah just get out as soon as you make
that decision

and then well there’s like making the
decision mentally and then actually

deciding to do it and the like shit when
should I do it

okay I’m not gonna do it this week is
that bad timing this week

sold do it next leader like how long
have you been feeling left a sec

old white guy then their star crier like
I’ll tell you anything you wanna hear

appeals stop crying I love you look in
another shot

know it I N A Bear you’re not a bad guy
fucked up

I want the marketing internship Abu
Dhabi out a marketing strategist I swear

to fucking god

mister mister jordan I am your
son-in-law

I %uh that they as the same last name
the Air Jordans Jordan I was so his name

is Jordan intimidating your own

always dating girls last name is Jordan
yes yeah so you want to make her

nah nah nah nah he’s gonna take your
last name and she is now usually because

that the linear we’ve been using a
division has been put on blast

because I remember their fucking name
there with that would that is used

I wanna it this is insane this is crazy

you’re crazy amor alright another

another case survey a smoke show to be
broke showed

that’s true it’s too bad caters to bada
bing sellers to our broke

a smoke shows in the universe well one
is the other boyfriend that lives far

away

the other ones gonna do heartbroken to
do anything right now but there are two

douchebags

that are out on the market again I get
this guy

bear in jordan well this guy is not
really a douchebag I doubt the beirut

was either I’m just chillin understand
is likely due on Flickr ballots

head against the commute show K I A OK

happen not have a good joke and hey you
know they can do

as well as the for the next question I
help are you mad above method laughing

and the I B leving in a mad way well
have been a mad where they get

buddy know who you are definitely I a
big buddy how you don’t get me

I but doesn’t sound like you think it’s
run is at the gear lapping for your

prayers

woody at big it’s a it’s comical that
after eight years you still don’t know

who Adam

planning believes it’s a lead on a good
thing to hear

and now 0 though I really easy

shipped if like

labig a year it’s a ugly guy

its welcome gunmen I’m just like it
disposed speaking we’re the big league

you’re protecting yourself against an
argument

a I clearly I’m not mad because I’m

making this noise lotta I like you don’t
trust me

a how do you like it I think you made
hate it

the police they do you like it but it
sounds like after going is that it

um man we are just fucking blowing
through this shit

a.m. 0 alright should be at the third
question

yeah sure a alright sons good

0 we need another place I have to think
about you can think the second place

though I know he was going to Tunisia

okay other to get them Tunisia tune easy
I believe you its gonna Tunisia Tunisia

there were we’re hoping loading for so
many different places that the anus the

really a

today Carol 20 at it. I love you are
watching the show

acted as the all these places are
mishmash to my brain and can I can keep

track oval is worried sick about you
that’s all

a right Tunisia rights hey guys I have a
very unspecific

and comprehensive question for you
specifically Jake

mmm-hmm how do you respond to a one-word
texts

conversations that end in sweet or nice
or worse yet

smiley face I never quite know how to
keep the ball rolling from such a point

and feel stupid when I like the person
and wish to continue the conversation

but don’t quite know how any advice
would be appreciated love

Tunisia Tunisia this is another question
about your texting prowess

initially into a build that website
where you can offer

your advice to anybody winter is willing
to pay a small a small fee for it

smaller got extra tix orbited try a
hundred dollars a text

try exhorted buddy paper expertise

turn when you go to the doctor you don’t
give him five bucks just what do they do

that X for free if I could put the chair

0 it’s only I’m a prostitute yeah I’m
exchanging these are you doing on the

program the website don’t know how they
program it

and I don’t know anything and take a
walkman let’s

I had answers questions that need to be
here I’d like to at least here you have

to say

you don’t need to be here for this I
wouldn’t know it reviewed

I wanna know the answer I buddy

you wrote this question I and Tunisia a
Tunisian

Kunis so how do you respond to one where
tax how do you keep the conversation

going when someone says sweet

period or nice actuary it you know what
I

genuinely this is the first atta boy
that i’m gonna give you on the show

me yeah okay first atta boy Wow

I do feel I do feel it’s I think you’ve
been on your game since

around the summer is that into the
summer and in the summer

and and I think you know I sigh I got
you in tender

yeah we got you got you out to bars yet
you meeting girls we got you texting and

I yeah

i will submit that you are your

you’re nearing my level Wow yeah you
really think so

I’ll show you a text from time to time
I’ve ever said to text and water

not when I will address a by you is at
home but I’d love but love for that to

happen I do you think that you are

you are close to my caliber if I do say
so myself I do say so myself

if I do say so myself yeah I like Mike

I cell what are you ask me what I would
do

yes I A well okay Hannah

here they know that there is a right or
wrong answer

okay okay here we go here to tell you no
further

yes I will be creating here here this
will be traded and check out towards the

door the door the final grade this is if
I can work for your website right here

yes well this is what I would do if I
were you

when I hear a where when I read sweet
period or nice period

I don’t keep the conversation going I
take that as a hint

that the girl wants to be left alone and
I always think it’s better to not send

the last text

the end thoughts

a beer Bluebird well congratulations you
are correct how are you

10th yeah I blew it

%uh got him a nice lady got ice a little
different and attorney

in serving your turkey day conversation
Carl be cool maybe

I say here that is true if you’re if
yours is going to send you an emoji

she’s gonna stay nice P readers we
period you know

cut your out she said the last thing you
done she’s like why didn’t you respond

usually responds Mitchell said that they
may be a little later

that’s a great that’s a great feeling is
the ice

and then you fucking away your you wait
and wait and wait

and when you get that second text back
as a

that second bullet that means you’ve won
you

you’ve defeated her in this game I love
text chicken almost hookah nice the

other person everyone is true and you
know it sometimes you lose

and you don’t get another text ever
again and it’s now because earlier blog

never cry again

I would I would send another like a are
you could buy that second bullet JD last

thing she said was nice

the night UAE you wait a little bit like
a dare to tell you have something else

to say

polyethylene writer ever I’m still I’m
going on seven months with one girl

I said hey how r ij is that good period

and I’m fucking I singer added you no
question mark

yes I didn’t know if it was up buck in
like how are you think you’re like and

good you

yeah I’m good show I dislike button
Hyster now

energies that the three question marks
and I was like a what

you are just that everything he needed
to stay so I is Terrell

this you called me yeah like now is the
21st century baby

i text if you let me a voicemail but
only to check it I did check engine like

sorry been

you are very desperate in person be an
hour’s money for anything I’m saying

right now

three months later she sent me a picture
text up her with her new boyfriend

I just like this is a guy who actually i
knows what he’s talking about WoW

did not respond to that either love that
a triple I

that’s the IIIA ring gauge you to do the
best

man hours that now that per pair I’m
gonna go to the wedding

and I’m not gonna say God damn where’d
himself the best man speech a

and when they ask if they would have J a
I mention that I do

hmm the so is that a good general

but comprehensive answer to a question
where

if somebody girl or guy rights

writes you a single word text yeah I
think that’s your cut like that done for

that conversation and then like

review the conversation and see where
you went awry just remember when you

texting to be like

fun casual you want to be like an escape
to somebody’s boring day

name you wanna be like oh man I like I
like text NJ he makes me laugh he says

funny things

it’s funny right but you’re also asking
questions yeah

and that helped lead acid because then
it’s like if you everything you say is a

question that is just like oh my god
this person just wants me to respond

right well sometimes what I like to do
is on

like do ask questions but sometimes
don’t ask questions to see if the other

person response not like a one percent
in not a one week thing like nice

are finer good but a joke net doesn’t
necessary to text in return

so that when you do get one in return
it’s a good sign it’s so subtle

such a subtle game like there’s a
difference between in the lib season two

periods

iLuv Creative Vado for you and like your
I don’t have others that is on the

podcast but sometimes

what I like to do is like it we’re both
going back and forth

yeah I like to just type a bunch oh yeah
race it and enter my PIN in like just up

see that like that’s where we differ I
don’t like to do that I love that US

and that there’s something really
doesn’t necessarily warrant a response

yet and the iPod Touch

and then and then and then delete it so
much she seizes the dot dot dot like you

are typing

right and you deleted yeah and then it
goes away yet as a legatee is that what

was gonna say

close enough they like I needed anita
pratap Obama Tom any decision the other

he responds

I just think is like in my brain it’s
like oh I A

I guess it’s my insecurity like she’s
gonna think that I

thought of a joke and then deleted
because it was a funny and then I mean I

is my mind it’s like

I’m typing something interesting and i
got now fuck it and that she’s like with

no obvious a

I it’s big news for you if they walking
away from someone at a party

yeah where like you walk away and
they’re just like looking at you in

being like what is that guy doing

yeah what he was about to you opened his
mouth to topic many did an about-face

and it’ll all

passed out and I haven’t spoken to him
since yet another that you have like a

good conversation was over and then you
disappear altogether and they’re like

where that ago

the two dots thing is also a really
funny like

there’s and it like I’m fine are

let’s see let’s think like my day was
pretty good

period is pretty like salty and then my
day was pretty good dot dot dot is like

a little what’s that it’s kinda sexy and
interesting

and then there’s this thing that we’ve
been discussing is the two dots

yeah which is not like a real
grammatical thing but it really is

somewhere in between the two it you
could almost be a typo

you know the direction yeah like my day
was pretty good dot dot

be obviously upset after they’ve made it
was pretty good I dot

got my laundry done and heading home
from work now her but dad dad is the end

of the first texter in between the two
said

data it’s so its I this is why we need
to have

thank God I can’t but lady at the see it
when you do you’ll get it it started

Jadson we can’t explain it it just
happens

it is jazz at the Jazz it yet you know
the instrument so while the kids are

like bend the rules and operate outside
the rain right

no addresses the phrase you have to be
able to be so competent like pretty up

to know the rules and then you have to
break that me dude

this is jazz yeah I this is smooth jam
it’s the people

black people bad the thing all J Crew

attack ad this is me unborn it starts at
the park abused her poetry

this is what you ever thought you never
wanted that you ever knew

love ever wanted to know hom what hun

that’s what she says but she doesn’t
know the answer is the question that I

asked her

so Wow

yeah that was awful what you’re only
good at texting

okay yeah he have no there is an
expertise is lax

appeared relax and listen to the senate
my sweet sweet voice

a let’s take a break before that last
question

we finally got more details about the
the lot that tour that we’re doing

you can actually purchase the tickets in
fact I found that you can purchase the

tickets

to the Portland the Seattle in the San
Francisco show up with the dates

and the a the that places the links on
our web site today fire you show dot com

for more that information are we also
did some other shows in April

on yeah a little purse it Tuesday April
1st for doing a show at UC

oh yeah now we have a show you see be LA
this is the college humor live show

yeah so there’s that Pat castles out in
Conover

Murfin Emily Kumail régine enemy enemy
energy that’s a powerhouse

pack show yeah minus as everybody’s
fucking good if it will close the shower

that’ll probably be Camilla kisses like
a big time

as a real comedian I would hate to go on
after compel

yeah oh you know we should do is split
up and I’ll go on before Camilla no to

her after you 5 I’ll do fifteen haircut

but I did hear the PL played my brother
in a Jake and Amir

I that is funny now he’s popular

yeah now he’s big time now is popular in
good yeah

we saw rock yeah how we we we plateaued
after that

and they take off we were peaking as you
as yesterday

yeah he stepped on our shoulders in life
is over to a new stratosphere and then

so did you take any credit through it
for what he did it’s like

a when you when you’re standing on
someone in a pool and then you jump off

their shoulders

and he took off into space and we
drowned yeah

yeah yet

yeah yeah brother a what else that we
are talking about

I just wanna like continue amassing
stories and a rosenbergs bass but we

didn’t get any other funny stories are
anecdotes from people who know on

not that I know of it is like racked my
brain trying to think if it hit record

birds to

every breakers as the day resurrects
very idea ever really

a minor one but baby still I really like
wearing hats

yeah well he still does a so yeah I so
he would you just like where these like

weird

like floppy hats laugh you know those
bucket hats

yeah there is one time that we went to
this place in a

it in North Haven called the only game
in town and there’s like go karts and

niña and skeeball in video games and

mini golf course not all that shit we’re
the go cart and

they make you wear this like weird sock
on your head I because

yet sweaty sweaty in helmets for the for
the go carts are yet so we all

did that a I we’re the go carts we are
well we went our separate ways

three days later I thought David came
over he just pulled up he was still

wearing

he was still wearing his sock being on
his head

and not in a way that he took it up in
shower too might value and I think it

was because well I don’t have that he
didn’t like

afterwards we play around with a put it
around his neck yeah and like he came

over three days later in the same shirt
with a customer enters the building at

the bradys that

you like as sweat rag from ago

cut but it was during bowling shoes

I that he got two weeks prior to has
watched as and Cynthia

that is a good there is a fixed thank
you I

appear three days I was sock I did space
head

a I we gotta have a back on he should
fly out to LA

yesterday that you’re listening fly at a
Los Angeles week in which is already

Kickstarter

to get Dave over here just like fly de
vere

after one 10 percent at a time I wonder

yeah well worth what sort of money would
we need to get Dave to just move into

the solarium

I am low if anything which is offered
the money

we have sponsors which use the money to
get Dave flyer Dave out here

hurts fair and then it’s a business
expense that tax that’s a tax deductible

oh that’s gonna talk to her like the
accountant about to be like okay what’s

this line item for engine seven dollars

all that was a Dave be is Dave
tax-deductible

was to see other Thursday when he can
come out here with us put him up for a

weekend

record the podcast this week and has a
like as a guest

yeah chillin squeezes brain like a wet
sponge I love our work computers

perfect all right let’s get to one last
question less we run at a time

I I am do we have a

a last-place that make why I know you
want to the Dead Sea

let’s just say that cuz I think they
actually have been to the whatever the

fourth location is your okay

will say the Dead Sea rights this one is
from

is it yet from another guy now I
addison’s great

I ready you’re dead see rates yell

I’m pretty stoned and I have this idea
her

6 I yeah I’m pretty stoned and I have
this idea

since I’ve been rejected by yet another
girl I’ve decided to

but the dating game fucked looking for
love

and just fuck a girl every weekend I’m
making it a goal to do so

fuck at least one girl a week

how do I approach that question mark
thanks

Dead Sea PS Fayez call me Josh if you’re
going to use like alleged im

I does the Thunder leblanc suck

sure you had an idea and your idea is

Tim have a goal to be re- every original
idea

yeah just getting laid a yeah big as a

its outlook that was your idea before
because you were trying to cope with

girls you got rejected in your like

but this I’m a hookup with girls

I have is is eighty hydeia its to

sleep with a girl that makes no sense
you have to get high I want to climb

Mount Everest you started you fell you
couldn’t do it and then you’re like a

fuck this I got a new girl I’m gonna
climb Mount Everest

is the height as a result he doesn’t
remember what is original goal was

same goal getting leading to get high
that now you wanna do it every week

yeah I couldn’t do it at all

bit and now you’re like fuck this new
idea

I do it once a week a few how

I don’t know man taken a year will tell
a fucking big message does it matter

along the year the high end up it’ll
have been

um a how do I make this happen how do
you how do you get laid every week get

on tender

for one each I fucking the bong itself
that way

it’s like you’re eliminating fill it
with petroleum jelly yeah

and then fuck the bar yet that nice idea
the

well one a mmm two things one

two things came to mind when I read this
one you can lower your bar so much

that you’ll just accept sex from
literally anybody

and maybe you’ll find someone else in
the universe through

dating web sites that will also find
themselves as desperate as you to fill

this imaginary quoted a you got

ok I interviewed on tender you swipe
everyone to the right and say hey do you

wanna have sex with me

if you do that a thousand times a day
maybe one will match a week

yeah to this goal seems like it’s a self

ASX a not fulfilling what’s the opposite

self-destructive prophecy right because
there soon as you give yourself a quota

you get nervous

you start acting even worse than you
would if you didn’t have this

this could imagine Eric Werder so it’s a
get rid of that

get rid of his high idea they have to
fuck someone once a week

and maybe make it a little more
manageable

like that I like to have sex more

more often than I do now general goal
yet and there’s less pressure on it

kinda weird try to attain a number

weyrich entertain a number it seems like
it only gets in the way

great man that was good this is I feel
like this is my podcast to shine between

Matt that in the tax question ed

any and both these questions are the
first when did this get specifically

asked for my advice rate

yeah and yeah I do I don’t I think that
was correct

Jesus yeah one now I guess you

you have to do what I usually I yes good
in math

no that’s not going to happen record the
audio levels

I brew I monitored the make sure we
don’t pee kar go to

blow my even d-link now a

I’ll go back to fucking I you are
getting baked right now

I’m getting high oh my god I just got
even more hi I just don’t have the

craziest idea

two girls a week a could make the two
girls a week they happen so I said fuck

it I’m gonna get laid every night

this is such a great email he sounds so
said

as it had been rejected by yet another
girl decided fuck the dating game fucked

looking for love

I’m gonna fuck a girl every week how do
I do that

yeah I you know get to talk so
confidently and then ask is how

yeah I’m so stoned I don’t give a shit
I’m gonna fuck one girl week as soon as

somebody as bad as me as to how to do it

because I am without a clue anyway

packed repacking this bowl here I

the let’s that’s my advice and I guess
years to then

a second a cool that’s it that’s our
time

can imagine time flies when you’re
talking about

having sex with a bon I am the

the we’re still accepting reviewing
using theme Sox emissions like I said

those are running low

a

that personally by Simon in this last
one is actually I believe you

though I haven’t seen frozen a frozen
parity

Iraq by three people whose names

clearly are in my short term memory

oh yes here they are Jesse Harley

and the Ian where did your your I just
like fluttered back a really

how did you remember that you not now at
the house oppose the I

I was looking I put that name a bit on
my computer %uh

geez yet you thought I was like that ira
magaziner like

lol I can remember there somewhere
locked away

in a room in my short term memory here
here huh

yes I can remember what you just said
Jesse Harley and

Evan close Ian well as if you have been
signs please

submit them to a fire you show a gmail
dot com and also if you have questions

for us please

email us at a fiery share gmail dot com
will be back

in a exactly literally seven days

from today well thanks to listen
everybody peace

2009 got a problem that needs to be
resolved not an answer

I any seeing being think I may kill
myself but a Starbucks

it’s not me. low

my last three sought one that I’ve tried
to

of Bowie military

SS now I lost my try

dude my friends ignore mom and me too I
am NOT on issues not now I’m Bass Pro

so now I must turn to a podcast she

re so lol are

the night at noon turns on

guy because it’s on butterfly

I’m I name my herds in relationships

girls turn away its and I am

delete and but these Jews have to say

any just remember turning in that manner

is for you the show starts right now

not that that’s our episode thanks again
for listening and thanks again to our

tunes for sponsoring at that

our tunes with Izzie dot com sign up now
use promo code Jake

or promo code Amir to start discovering
new music and to check out Jakes

custom playlist you know they also gave
me one because they’re a good sport so

if you wanna

you wanna listen to a really really
eclectic cool mixes songs check out my

playlist or

or Jakes alright thanks so much guys
back

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *