Episode 72: Gifts

Description:

In this episode we discuss how to pleasure women physically, and men emotionally.

This episode is brought to you by CombatGent.com – Tailored suits starting at $160! Use coupon code “jakeandamir” and get a free tie with any purchase. They’re a new company so help the show by checking them out!

you advertiser mother fuckers so listen
up

I’ll ru all years have your I was put
down what you’re doing and please pay

more than a talent you’re driving a car
right now

polo fired over you’re at work you’ve
already stopped working yeah it’s by

does keep doing what you’re doing if
you’re at work

unplug your headphones the let the
speakers takeover everyone needs to hear

about combat

gent dot com a menswear company that
focuses on the essentials

for the modern man like tailored suits
shirts

and ties is correct at here’s the long
and the short of it

suits cost a lot of money especially
nice ones

sell combat Jan said let’s stop fucking
around

and charge a hundred and sixty dollars
for an entire season

Canasta sup that’s the truth you know
like here’s here’s my thoughts and and

this entire state yet and

you don’t want to be in a suit that
looks like your YouTube has had your bar

mitzvah

and write you know I like a weird bag he
said looking see

and then GQ has like you read GQ which I
often do haha as you are a gentleman and

you are poorly Z like %uh this is a nice
slim fitting suit this looks great day

and

Joel McHale’s wary and how do I wear the
same suit and then it says in the

corners like the two thousand dollar
suit yeah

well that’s not good so this is this is
how you do this is a beat the system

combat gents CON baat

GE and T dot com since starting at a
hundred and sixty dollars search at

twenty five dollars and ties at sixteen
dollars in the suitor a hundred percent

Super Wal not poly blend are right and
they have modern fit they have slim fit

if you’re looking to buy a suit without
breaking the bank without spending

several thousand dollars checking out
actually send Jake a nice suits and

they’re pretty frickin sharp yeah all we
have to do is go to a all you have to do

is go to a tailor

you get your little measurements you
send a man many say little value

measurements right

well obviously we’re jack but super some
people it’s little measurements ago

and so what’s the deal here but what we
offer you as people who listen to this

podcast well

if you go to combat gent dot com slash
Jake and Amir and use coupon code

Jake and Amir that’s all one word bill
throwing

a free Thai with any purchase

and that’s not it is it not it well we
will have to use if you buy a suit he

says he received will likely be a little
shout out that’s right so

a hundred and sixty dollars gets you a
suit

tie you for dis the receipt and will
give you a shout out in the next episode

yes well between the so in the shadows I
think you going to be laid to show why

I spree good investment don’t you think

chief goal it 50 Cal Anna

a a anyway please please do check em out
there a new advertiser they need

all the helpful we can give them and
yeah please enjoy this episode

luckily fortunately we kept the streak
alive seventy-second opposite in a row

things

continue to get real is

had

money

d

you’d like

mean it is

to me

very nice I

at I love I’ll it’s good I was well to
lab the forces that smile you feel happy

even when you’re not

yeah i’m happier I am I’ve bases kar

my brain thinks I’m happy cuz I’m
smiling yeah

a trick by rain I brain tricks itself
you think about it yeah

I oh no girl shit yeah

fuck and browning and pro now I’m sad
alone I hate my life

look at home baby that was Eric
Strickler

Strickler Yahoo in his email he said
like Stiffler from American Pie

nice and then he said his dad’s name was
Steve strip player

that’s pretty cool which is Steph
lawyers name in american pie Wow

cell by now unfortunate name but a

great song unfortunately it’s gonna
Steve’s traveler

your Strickler Strickler yeah it is the
beer Sri well enough to know that my

fucking blast right he will know my name

everybody’s stripper on black hats up I

yeah I don’t know what else to say thank
you for thank you cared for submitting

that the himself

yeah appreciate it the name to the show
as if I were you

the only advice podcast on the internet
hosted by us

on a mere and I’m J can actually you
know what har

you know what I think I i’ve been
governor started to do see myself before

you

excuse year yeah order to try it again a
wholly advise podcast on internet hosted

by I’m Jake

I hate that very well I because it’s
it’s

it now your state’s is not forced yeah
into scripted

its to skip to the way it is we’ve been
doing the same way I am now yes seventy

episodes and okay

harming I try say will resign I really
did it

I read it twice okay fine i’d is really
think that I deserve to be

water used for sly because you do so
little

yeah yeah that’s why i like it I get to
do this one thing

like you you reach out to the advertiser
yeah I records US and the idea host

ray and I don’t even introduce myself
above good they really like and

is a pretty girl is like I do yeah I
know you are already doing the least you

could do I think that in the least you
could do is to take credit first year

you’re actually you know that’s good at
doing something that me being active and

i wanna be passive in this process
anymore so I think I’m not take the

initiative to

I’d rather do that my hair is how you’re
gonna yourself I think it’s time that I

introduced myself not helping where you

okay I that’s a let’s bear will change
to going forward

thank you I am tell you want to explain
how the show works

no I just any introducing myself a
little bit KK

so yeah I’ll still be the explanation

the ability the explanation I United I

I’m already tired from the laser myself
buyers it’s all an up hill battle here

at this as I did the show work you guys
are the key situations you got your

problems we got the man’s is going to
email us then

your question it and we’ll do our best
to advise you

highlights that email address if I were
you show at gmail

dot com Daz rad so let’s get started
let’s start answering some questions

I’ll these are really emails from real
people but we’re gonna get on fake names

to preserve their en donde MITI very
good

you quiz show to do that shit

sorry I’ll stop talking and pay to me
fucking hate it it’s like

condescending I him

you bad at all not your day %ah

so far end NJ with that email address

like yell I II my own fuckin person I A

well as they think the way I want to see
a the more minutes you

you complain that you’ve been introduced
second as today

more or what it is even split right now
that’s not fair for either over its

I it’s an even split that’s not fair for
either or both

they you now I think I down ok

isolate let big names

can we give these so I thinking today
actually I am the Brady Bunch

Arabic enabled members but I can name
all the members sure great

the ad Bobby Peter and

well don’t ruin it okay or a Jan marcia

stop it buddy I greg’s great man

and then B davis is Alice

cheeses Christ he has he did it stop
both the dog him now

I’ll well as the dogs nature question
ever had

did they not I don’t know I I believe
they did have a dog

I don’t think they did every every
sitcom in the seventies and eighties had

died

a Google did the bradys have a dog yeah
please

please let me know did the gray the

lol lotta by did the bradys

but each other the Brady Bunch really
saying the Brady Bunch have attended ads

up doodads I love your wife was
remarried

way it was the dog then um

the I didn’t say that they had a way

though Tiger I am accents okay

I it tiger well let’s start with that
name Tiger

Tiger rights and hey guys

love the show so I’ve been messaging
this girl on tender

a total smoke show with a bangin bod
definitely the hottest girl I’ve matched

with to date

things are going pretty good until we
started talking about school

when she said she wants to apply for
college but she doesn’t have the money

for an application fee

it’s like a hundred bucks she then asked
if I could help her pay the fee to which

I responded by saying I’d love to help
if she wasn’t a complete stranger

she then said and I quote yeah but I can
be a lot more than a stranger to you

so basically this girl trying to get me
to pay her money

which is obviously bad but a part of me
can’t help but think about what a

what it would be like to go along with
it and potentially fuck this really hot

girl for ninety five dollars

would that be paying for sex or would it
be her paying with sex

either way it sounds like bad news and
there’s probably a very small chance

that I would even lead to fucking but I
still wonder

any advice on how to deal with the
situation would be great

thinks Tiger Tiger name

tied June Tiger Tiger burning bright

what he did I don’t %ah

yeah right you could just if he has
ninety five dollars that he wants to

spend

yeah it’s like a red circle playing the
lottery you’re gonna throw away probably

but I

its roulette yaa well here’s another way
to look at it

this is not a hot girl this is a guy

whose extorting money from him right I
would say that such a high probability

it’s not even worth gambling

oh yeah well on that there’s no way this
is a hot girl who actually needs money

for a college application and even more
so there’s no way to chill fuck you if

you do give her money the other than
occurred to me

like this is a damn hunt into the butler
at like the scams are

you know just weird camgirls be like go
to my live right you can watch me strip

for you but you wouldn’t fall for that

right well you know I fall for is a hot
girl who to

chats with you and then says she needs
money rated which is why you should say

let’s meet up in person I’ll give you
the check

%uh that’s good CSU react to that which
I guarantee you’ll be

but no I don’t want to meet up with you
I’m actually a guy about robot girl who

strive to take money from people that’s
fair I

he had a no I don’t know what else to
say other than I’m so certain this is a

scam

but let’s say it’s not a few like I
really I’m curious about this I know its

a bad idea

but still I wonder like a lion lol man
that so much guys wanna fuck hot girl

course they’re like I will pay I’ll
throw a hundred dollars into the air

and ninety-nine times out of 100 nothing
will happen but that

just the fact that there’s a1 percent
chance makes me want to at least give it

a shot

yeah I am but that’s why

these types of scams work because even
the promise of something that you were

no

almost a hundred percent isn’t true
you’d still go for because the

the odds the the probability of you
coming inside the hot woman’s vagina sir

cumming inside you you relax right there

like coworkers she may not want you to
cum inside her

well I need to be wearing a condom yes
still technically coming inside remain

the hell out

yeah so i just i just i just don’t wanna
as don’t get any went too excited yet

you know okay so even the the
probability ’em

when a brother how sex with someone with
a condom on and come in them

or no condom him pull out I

I think I differ from you on this
opinion because you’d rather use a

condom

yeah weird I don’t hate condoms as much
as you do

idoney condoms this area everyone should
wear them now yeah

everyone should be I don’t hate the way
they feel as much as you do I

yeah no I don’t like it yeah I

look alright moving on I

I you’d rather do the opposite right yes

how does it work when you like how close
do you get when you pull out

I’m usually four seconds after I came I

do wow that added to you you know I A

you do you allow to limp noodle Billy a
act ready

good and I just I yeah people like this
second before

the second before yeah that sell risky
know that you know if they make up so

does that mean when you pull out

are you DFT then use your hand to Lake

finish it off and I usually pull out
like

as it’s coming silly no Delacour to read

it so it’s so close that you pull it out
the year ejaculating without any like

hand stimulus

yeah I’d only to later gotta get
sometimes I like great bit

tightly and that will be enough for like
I’ll put it back Lache

on bike you know on somebody’s butt
cheeks

yeah at the top part of their vagina
right like

even that little bit official sent it
over the edge and then

there’s just a cleanup yeah just like
that like any sex during a condom

there’s clean up lenders not

its data container yet to take be a
tight take it out at the disposal gavin

is an all in a it’s all located within a
nice

clean receptacle that you can then peel
off your dick and throw away

lil the Stilton that’s not necessarily
true it’s the if not go back clean

removing a condom yet and there’s fluid
on the outside and on the inside and

there’s fluid all over your dick you Dec
12 likes

is Malik spermicide I you’re making it
sound like

I at the government to use condoms
definitely we make it sound like a

I gloria is still you OP yeah it

obviously are eliminated all Vesely I

ever jim is gone as we are making it
your all your overplaying

a little bit your child and I don’t know
why but the dissolution you

the to think you lied to an everyday
condoms forever I’m ready you know

they’re not the perfect receptacle
helmet here who all they are

yeah right when your bike riding helmets
are cool birds

to actually pretty tight not to wear
one’s own ties obviously that’s not save

not ideal wear a helmet but they’re
uncomfortable an ugly in bad

and actually riding a bike doesn’t feel
quite as good

you have a helmet on you’re a bad sex
educator

bach and now I let everybody listened I
think would make it up pretty clear on

the so that everyone to listen to you
would not be right

yeah I like a lot but unless we’re doing
it in a way that

is like a listen eg listen a group is
not gallant over here that everyone’s ok

now I wanna be like the

other guy no yeah by saying listen to me

were thus making me un cool and then
people as a yet

body in it if with our guest add to get
this guy i sorry I said it’s a scam

i think i buy I would definitely not
just Center money blindly

I’m guessing you should meet up with the
injury money lead to get it I say I

wanna meet up with you

and then I she just goes to a coffee
shops and and get the job getting to the

sky

I can you imagine he gets to a coffee
shop

and it’s a hot girl 18 year old hot girl
the college application

City thank you so much I’m really cross
my fingers that Dartmouth to let me in

really you’re applying to colleges in
April how does that work a lot of people

have already heard by now

yeah yeah I’m a little late

no you’re not a little a year seven
months late or six months earlier I blow

you

of up now I’ll blow you for a hundred
dollars

a yep you getting scammed out a note to
say toda

an I X question yep

this one is pretty real hey

and a let’s call him Peter Brady

I peter Christopher McKnight I believe
his real name is

did you go to jail Peter Brady yeah yeah
probably

cool you follow enough kid actors around
in

odds are one of them all gone to jail
you do follow like it actors around yeah

I actually stocked Eve plumb who played
Jan for

six years you I you dated Taran Noah
Smith

I’m group right there

the youngest yeah I became so the job
they had the rated into the show

yep I is that shoot did he become got
them then they rode into the show

I think that light was that just care it
seems like it was to natural to be a

care I believe you that message has been
the way he was showing up to stay at

like the writers like butts right into
the show

you have not like you’d like I’m not
gonna take off my black GE and they’re

like fuck we have to write it into the
cell I did they could be like

yes you are take up your black the

but to cut nail polish black nail polish
your eye shadow

your scholar and I was a good thing is
happening to lots kids back in that day

too so it was like a relevant things

new equipment and the show you dated
Taran Noah Smith

iraq yep Peter rights I’ve recently
started talking to this girl and let me

tell you she is making me earn that
booty

unlike most of our listeners I wouldn’t
say she’s a smoke show per se

but she is a relative smoke show for a
man of my station

a loser and a dweeb I letter copy my
homework

all the time and have even wrote a three
page essay for her that got an A minus

before you say anything yes I’m aware
that she is most likely using me and

doesn’t care for me at all but I still
appreciate the contact

and attention in some weird fucked up
way also part of me thinks that if I

hang out with her

long enough she might get to know me
better and appreciate me

I’m all for working for it but at this
point it feels like she’s making me toil

grovel and beg

there are no other girls that show even
a remote interest in me what should I do

love

Peter Brady hun this is kinda cool
question

why because it as much many layers

one you like done with this hot girl
take advantage if you should just using

you for your brain

right but then it makes you think young
girls commit a tractor to lots of parts

is

people why not have this interesting

exchange where you helper academically
by you know

writing her essay and then she shows you
affection you guys are

is a mutually beneficial to show him
affection yeah he says he likes the

constant tension

are you appreciate the contact and
attention in a weird fucked up way

and his kinda weird it’s mutually
beneficial the only bad thing that’s

happening is that he’s doing her
homework in that she’s not learning

right but that no small price to pay for
Cotto usually beneficial cuz he’s like

he it feels a his hip I see what you’re
saying

yeah this you’re saying like it I was
this kid’s parents I’d be like

at hey don’t do this hot girls homer
she’s using you

but as his friend on like you know use
what you got

you’re good at something and you’re
using it to get here

essay though I think i three years they
are very happy you have to draw the line

his latest I could actually even though
you can justify

in your brain like that yeah it’d the

the to the greater society and probably
to this girl

she is what like she’s taking advantage
of him like to look at night the

to Peter Brady enemy does my homework is
a fucking loser

and all the other girls were ignoring
you at least are abusing you and museum

so they’re your friends this girl’s a
demon bitch

and I think you should be like fuck off
I do my own homework

you don’t get too the benefit from my
brain but before

he said a in another podcast back in the
day or maybe write songs they can’t

leave gonna do this yeah I’m gonna just

any budging at work had 43 like I have a
fuckin affidavit

it might be cross-examined do you recall
during episode 43

you have a lady said would you really
distressed go back to me

I can I have it please the court but you
to please the court here

flap I just wanna please the court I I
want to do is please you court

Chicago or are you pleased but you’re
not pleased with this I do I do I do for

you got

court I’m begging you caught core I

both so did he say if you hate someone
the best way to get back at them is to

fuck them

yes I did say that but he’s not gonna
fuck this girl

when he might if he continues doing her
homework not gonna happen no girl fucks

the guy that does her homework

he’s doing it without her fucking when
he knew

what you need to do if you really really
want that is to quit cold turkey she’s

gonna miss it you can believe what I
need to do to get you to do the homework

and then Eli world nice when you talk to
be back a real nice to be out French to

be

and then she said excuse me Peter Brady
thats that solicitation and then you say

what was it before bitch

what was it before with it with a smile
and out pat on the back right

well now I just upped the ante it away
it still solicitation

but now I want to be blown if it pleases
the court

a it doesn’t please the court

I don’t think it’s healthy for him to
just do your homework i think thats

negative bad I think it’s anything at
the downward spiral

alright so if he was still deserves to
be fucked but I don’t think he’s doing

it the right way

if you´re if you are him what would you
do

her power him

I would start smoking cigarettes

very are going to the gym hard tight by
like I

Camaro or something okay so one really
unhealthy been one healthy thing and I’m

wasting his money

yeah I would say the Camaro thing is
neutral okay

and FBI to become the coolest guy at
school

and at the very least the good guy and
an 80’s a school

who picked cool guy I school yeah n

you not have to smoke a cigarette to
sort a roll up in your CNC got the pack

there you can even use a deck acquirer
what’s your address I want to send you a

jeans jacket

I did in a denim jacket feeds I

but the jacket made in gene so not
addendum

yen edges that actually made at a jeans
jacket Eugene

yeah yeah sewn together to make food aid
for the price a fun

a idid I think you should just not doing
your homework I think you

and usury surround yourself with
positivity

in this is a positive she’s asking you
do work for free and what you’re getting

is for

company which is in her doing any work
she’s not actually bring anything to the

table to raw deal

should appreciate you for you that’s
very

fucking optimistic yeah very Brady Bunch
love you

it’s sunny everyday here in LA here’s
the fucking real cold hard truth

bend over because I’m about this stick
it in your ass like a suppository

you talking to this kid be whatever have
you either way you’re gonna shut up

right now

you know it is the legal it back a good
give it to both the by the door

keep doing her homework in the same to
keep

doing her homework that’s the advantage
you have over her

this is will we be the follow-up ups
which email this guy like re:

are actually email addresses and be like
we want to know what’s going on in a

month

and then we’re giving opposite advice i
winner whose he followed and how work

and then when you give her the homework
do it in a

nice romantic way let’s go to the park
and I can give it to you let’s have

dinner and I can discuss it with the is
suddenly

she’s forced to go on dates with you and
like he said

may be this way she’ll grow to
appreciate it more she’s gonna given the

time a day that she wouldn’t

if you didn’t have a great brain and you
know it girls can be attracted to guys

brain this guy’s

a maybe not a great looking or as he
calls himself a loser and a dweeb

but he does have one thing going for me
can write three-page papers they give p

give girls a minor ie them minuses
netted yeah

791 well you’re 83 a mine I paper and
then suddenly year

+91 yeah ninety one’s great Asia start
writing your paper The Giver

be are energy like hey these papers but
again we gotta be eaten alive United

echidna hey

apparently you know it’s weighing me
down is that two ounces a common my

balls

haemophilia A excuse me

I II 6.2 your home a commuter keep doing
it let’s see what happens

really is up follow up mister Peter
Brady a

get one more question before the a the
break a break

classic break a hey guys in

more a late we need a guy the body Greg
Greg Brady

Barry Williams rights enough sorry

hey guys more specifically Jake what’s
up what’s up with some ok do you guys

have any tips on pussy licking and
fingering

I need to maximize the pleasure for the
recipient

but shears turn up the podcast mom

thanks love Greg I did too yeah we get
however all sectors I

you guys the for oral sex that would
actually

a maximized pleasure for the recipients
here

I’m okay taking a knee Dr staying
neutral in terms of pleasure and a

slacker initial clan if you will I

nice thank you nice mom do turn out the
podcast I me give you five full seconds

because they know sometimes you drive in

yeah an messages keep your eyes on the
road

find your phone even if the just just
the in a press the volume button till

it’s gone

yeah leave few more seconds mom fade me
out to black

and I i love u yeah tell the
International O I get up and move my

head I got your grandmother right before
your

pussy eating Ted alright now here’s how
it works

I like our disc stripping everything
away this by the every question is sort

of like how do I help

attract some of the other sex and this
guys like how do I eat up pussy

how can I eat a pussy and it is my time
to shine

yeah I’m gonna I’m gonna just sit back
relax and enjoy the ride

are ripe I hear ya his Lord and guard
takes taking up his bets

there’s I mean there’s I am

couple let’s do this well as is the
advice the same for cuddling ass and

fingering

and nerdy a different place for each I
think it

well I just had similar advice across
the board I’m just gonna tell you

you wanna start out start out gently I
think you

everybody’s different so we’re gonna
we’re gonna go down

we’re going to use just your middle
finger okay

say you are above your on the month this
business so

scientific I think you’re gonna wanna be
an if you’re lying down

at you try to use your dominant hand is
what I’m saying um

you I get her flat on her back to her
legs

can be a spread comfortably so you not
like

tearing a pubic hair or like did you try
to find a whole

your wonders go down middle finger

a past the pubic bone the pelvic bone

an your gonna hit the clip first

with your with her middle finger and I

this key by going down it should at this
point if you either do it if it’s during

foreplay and imagine the chain is where
you might wanna get

a little bit via the moisture Road

from the whole unsorted go too well yeah
I’ll bring water back to the town and

bring exact yeah

that English I they want its

once it’s wet officially earn 10 wet
adjusted make sure that there’s some

moisture on the labia and clitoris

and other than then you’re enter holding
I

with just your middle finger enter I’ll
go back to the well and I miss would’ve

I wish I Richard this should be a video
podcast yeah

I believe it or not touch the

E touch the roofer the have the vagina
disorder massage that yeah

and I would didn’t if the vagina is a
real you want to hit the light bulb

right

perfect okay said that I this is where

I’m I think that’s how you should start
it now rough roughly every time but

now this worthy advise getting I’m less
specific

everyone is different haha study the
start of gently in SLO

yeah to see what doing well then you
just go with that so he starts beating

up a little bit and she

enjoys that they keep that up right but
she seems to enjoy it more thus the like

the slow aspect to do that if you can

if he’d you feel like there’s room you
want to put your your ring finger n

I’ll see if you like that but if but if
it doesn’t seem

just regular energy so it is based on
her moaning

yeah her moaning her breathing or very
subtle

but like ice the stopping of moaning now
that’s bad light looking at her

eyes maybe their shop maybe you like see
like a little discomfort Niko not that

anymore

and then we going down honor I I think
it’s nice today

keep your fingers in there think it’s
nice to you gripper thighs tightly

a and just massage the clip with your
time

%ah did not well as you call that before
sometimes you wanna go even thousands

lol you

that in a nose and HAARP I’m

but also like you know play with your
fingers in there I just just

do what feels appropriate for her

a already lead right now you’re looking
at your thumb

are your middle finger in your ring
finger as one writes a deserted

this is sort of like a little would
would you call this one doing right now

like a dog puppet almost the only i like
it where the your index finger and pink

pink ER

years yeah yeah yeah I would like to its
legal

the lockdown rock rock rocking all year

I’m I would just like kinda bring them
in an out very slowly twisting so your

knuckles can kind of like give a little
bit %uh via

sensation I to the vaginal odor eerie
almost reading your two fingers together

as a

flat but bpm yeah um

and essentially that’s why I do you
think you should massage the clip yeah

and an egg rolls like different ways a
flake

you know some people like speed and type
II could slow some people like it

a you know firmly press some people like
it late yesterday really is just a

matter of

what she seems to like and I think it’s
fine if you don’t need a lid on the

first time

it’s just it this is a bitch and that
you get to keep on reentering

then like time we’ll a prove your master

your turn I I A

I and 3

3 bits have crushed ice underneath the
tongue at all times just to keep your

just keep your tongue cool and Steph
hell yea hath still time yeah like an

icicle

oh and then a you know you like a
chicken head

oh yeah like a chicken egg a woodpecker
you only had exactly say using your

icicle time disorders

dad not necessarily UGG rather than a

dad but wherever you’re talking about a
vagina don’t ever

yes stabbings always energy says our

suddenly she’s interested okay is at the
very least like curious cuz you know a

lot of guys have you ate away now

I never even someone out I I V next to
someone

I know I think yeah but Jake said sounds
good to me

hand well we both agree those are Jake
Emir’s

killing instead I have a net yeah
curling years I

the AM let ok with them let that a

let that sink in and bleed into our
break

on shows

that are I can’t stop thinking about the

vagina Europe and demanding better to do
it we do have three

a shows coming up in Seattle Portland in
San Francisco and tickets are actually

finally on sale

yes that’s the most exciting part away
do you have the info

have at something yeah I a at look up as
much as you can

okay I’m Seattle Washington

here it is about Seattle’s Wikipedia
page

the news Jess receive exports are buck

how I’m got here at da population no

founded in 1863 I think by Indian
Hachette

shit to church Spokane Washington I
Seattle Washington

we are performing at though there a
project hmm

the doors are at seven the show’s at 8
on what day

Thursday people 24th okay

okay Portland organ yep Hawthorne
theatre

own rules friday april twenty-fifth
doors at seven show at eight

that’ll be a fun drive from Seattle to
Portland love that yelled Lee Drive

San Fran just go ol California hey

are pretty girl getting get excited now

where shot on product release cry well
its California hey

I’ll rickshaw stop door Sunday

the 25th I sat at the table 27

doors at 7:30 show at eight so are still
tickets are still available

these are not huge room so get them
while they’re not

get a mother not all other ticketing any
info is Isaiah like R @gmail.com

slash ch on tour or Jake and Amir dot
com

0 we hope to see you there I

we’re gonna stick around and meet take
photos every fan after the show who

wants to stick around

damn right an awesome yeah it’ll be fun
it’ll be good

it’ll be great Allen Street is going to
be with us what

getting yes I didn’t agree to that
fucker coming up my to our

your two or three day back in bed in
Jersey

know what you’re talking about going out
three day bender man

I’m leaving care by performer not Gracy
Seattle Portland San Franceschini

use that really the only thing you care
about

I’m getting frisky in San Fran 50

up and Portland I think we need more
lind

requires more land is there for me to go
around and drink at but

Seattle how bout how bout you

you go into a p/e battle I drank so much
beer that I could piss for a year

are now a well as the love another
question to get there

alright Yahoo I yeah a

let’s let’s please this is a is a good
one

our first a female braiding in that we
need

I can you name a female let’s give it to
Alice

the unsung hero the Brady Bunch she was
in part to the family but she was so

close to everyone I think she

right she was basically considered as I
can Mother Dairy measure

got it just read question I

everyone is aware on this show how much
you love the Brady Bunch you said

named every actor who played each kid
you named all the characters up top

except for the dog yeah right we get it

you love the Brady Bunch that’s not good
its it’s almost 1 p.m. in your your

pajamas

yeah yesterday he said it was 5pm a
house in damn is that had the exact same

pajamas did you get added pajamas
although

are you did when I run yeah I commend
this coming from a man who ate McDonalds

for dinner last night there

yeah not this one okay that is certainly
isn’t that the pot calling the kettle on

healthy

okay after I didn’t call you and help
the

you called me lazy at the very least I
was stuck at the mall and I did I eat

dispute but I texted you and said

I was going to get a salad from a
restaurant sore legs

Xi’an USAID’s now I’m good I’m just
gonna chill at the mall had you are

ready

mcdonald’s I was on my way to anything
got old I

a no i think i jus the mcdonnell yeah I
did

be didn’t want to tell me now we because
that be admitting to

reaching rock-bottom yeah yeah it was a
sad moment for me

he said that you’re hunched over reading
your crispy chicken sandwich

shuttling prize in your mouth and he
said for a Jake and Amir fan locked up

to you at that moment you didn’t know
how you’d react

yeah I would there was me I

know if they are I’m making I’m doing a
video right now house

apparent that another example how you’d

the real human is a lot like my
character on the show

yeah in terms over really just poor
eating habits and sensually

which Yukon SLE say you’re gonna change
but never do I’m in a I’m a change it

today I’m actually I’m

eat really healthy healthy today did you
catch the for breakfast did you have

anything other than

iced button cream coffee and a croissant

turns out he had again had that for
breakfast but it’s good to carb up in

the

day %ah nice camera

the day working at of idiot

read the fucking question yeah

Alice rights hey guys here’s my six some
currently doing a study abroad semester

in Paris and i’m having

hidden and having a French ass fun

time as much as y’all don’t condone this
sort of behavior I’ve been dating the

same guy since my freshman year of
college and we decided to do the whole

long distance thing while I’m away

currently still no regrets as most
French guys are way to fend for me and I

really do love my boyfriend

anyway he’s coming to visit me for a
week in Europe

coinciding with our anniversary given
the length of the track is making

and the anniversary I feel compelled to
give him the best fucking present

imaginable

however I’m still a college student
blowing my parents dines an overpriced

French rude

and can’t really afford to break bank
I’m wondering

if you guys could provide any
suggestions for a really cool and

thoughtful present

in the fifty to a hundred dollar price
range that most

any dude would enjoy and probably have
use for

PS I’m also open to any suggestions for
wild sexual fantasies I could for phil

has a bonus gift

but keep in mind where a seasoned couple
who’s tried most things

I E anal so would need t a need to be
something that guys are too afraid to

ask for

toda in advance for any recommendations
peace

Alice interesting so she’s

abroad her boys coming to visit her on
the anniversary and she doesn’t know

what gift to get him she doesn’t wanna

mock-up right or get him something bad
yes

am and she’s down for a sexy bonus Kia

yeah which by the way that sh that the
gift yet at

the hat but you get ’em that is at the
bonus that

yeah and also you can have anal again he
had asked that that’s a good gift that

the gift that keeps on giving

feel free to regift yeah that’s fine he
had good

you’re right so let’s say let’s just say
I

anal and a sweater hier perfect or

anal and and and %uh scar anal at hand

hand shoes yeah are two angels that way
to getting anal and then one of the anal

is a bonus kin morning anal

yell by evening anal and in the middle
you take them for a full of

I a string of falafel on a

yeah at one of those per region
restaurants that are there yet

area yet very very hot very chic very
French

we’re talking twelfth on da small
falafel or something like that

I here’s the thing anniversaries are
stressful

he said because on unlike birthdays it’s
a dual

yes so it’s like who can give the other
person a gift

right its competitive it’s me right it’s
not

it’s not a happy healthy positive
experience for anyone

it’s like I’m gonna get you the better
gift I’ll fuck you give me a better gift

I got out gift you are and I will

I’m a break rule it spends length too
much money in like then

I then you can give me a gift that I me
feel bad that I didn’t spend as much

money you’re gonna feel bad that you
spent too much money in

it is negative all around it’s bad
anniversaries

suck gifts are terrible little birthday
and play

I can stress about it alone and I don’t
have to worry about this like

not compounded by the fact that you’re
going to get me a diff to

pray like who is going to be better well
here’s

girls are at a disadvantage you I in
many ways in life but one other

what are the advantages that they do
have is that

in for my money in my view world

in my thinking this might be a gross
over generalization

but here it is guys don’t give a shit

about gets I agree I concur guys will
never get angry

that you either gave them a bad gift or
no gift at all

it doesn’t matter to us in the slightest
I will go even further to say

that in my perfect world nobody gives or
receives gift’s

I don’t like getting gifts I don’t like
having to give gift

obviously I’m not in a relationship
right now that’s something I wouldn’t

feel comfortable saying way if I had a
girlfriend

but I think in an ideal world you don’t
have to get me anything

and the greatest gift of all would be
that I don’t have to get you anything

because there’s so much pressure and the
gift is never actually that worth it

holidays to not a fan who gets I don’t
like giving gifts

when the when Chris mister hannukah
rolls around I don’t have to like think

about getting people presents

I often don’t get people presents people
don’t get me presence

and that sort of my grumpy attitude on

gift-giving in general thoughts you
sound like a horrible person

yeah I am NOT like a Scrooge a wrench if
you will that correct

on and people have gone mad at me cuz
I’d like opened up a little bit like

during a relationship like I don’t you
wish I could be nice to just like not

give gift yeah he can’t let her know
that all your love gets

it yet they like and it’s not because
they want gifts they like

look at this girl she and likes giving
get yeah I know I’m saying I love their

giving gifts as much as they love
receiving get there

you it grows art is beautiful yes like I
don’t care about gifts

I don’t even want stuff yeah and like
but I I’d like the app I like the idea

like an I’m a gift giver

I’m not necessarily like I love thinking
about like anniversary gifts but I do

think

I like to think about like 0 work like
pick up that would make this person

happy

right in my world it’s like whenever I
give a gift and dislike what can I get

to not be in trouble after I give it

right like if I get you this thing you
can’t be mad at me right

that’s that this is not a bad gift
that’s the only that’s the only emotion

I’m looking to avoid

that’s a hard place to come from yeah
I’m a very unlike in terms i get some

the grumpy astray

antigos I gently on the misanthrope
there is yes you are

there’s a middle ground where I think
this girl could just get him something

but the the advice that we’re giving you
that it doesn’t really matter yeah guys

I sky like there to see you

that’s good that already going to be the
best like its have a nice anniversary

where you got to spend the day together
yeah

have great sex go out to a nice meal and
might do not make it about like

a big presentation up the gift I did you
should write it like write him something

that’s great

and if if he gives you a gift %uh the
best gift you can give him estimates be

like

oh my god this is the best gift ever
this is amazing catalyze yeah just be

happy

and political appreciative up whatever
gift yet see whether it’s good or bad

that’s the best gift a bar

right to not feel like you fucked up
yeah that’s

I feel like I mean I’ve I said before I
would enter into a packed where nobody

has to get me again you actually say it
all yeah actually drafted a document

states you have people sign it sometimes

good God why do I hate gifts

done to you you’re nervous about getting
a bad gift

not getting a bad gift and I means I get
exam wanna bag gift giving you

your money yet bad or like having too
much meeting put in a gift like

oh why did you get me this a saying up
blah blah blah blah blah

right but that’s never actually happened
to me because I always fuckin break the

bank

overcompensate I’ve given someone a
ninety five hundred dollar

yet you bought your ex ex-girlfriend a
ticket to space

I’m another guy yeah when she landed I
got her a Kia

Reds right yeah I read as a letter
looking up with Richard Branson up there

zero-g_ but I can get mad because there
was a fight over gift yet cuz you left

she left the earth’s atmosphere and then
there and there are no rules no cheating

boundaries as the chief the
International Space

technically when there’s no gravity
there are no rules right a

my that’s all get him whatever the fuck
you are exactly it doesn’t matter

and but if your guy holy shit yell

dude you better if I can think more than
twice a bank on a ship get

that’s that’s a big one it’s a big deal
today nursery

but side is that have the United States
as a hand

yeah we’re at a time address a that’s it

that’s over it’s done with a we’re still
accepting theme Sox emissions

that email address again if you have
your own problem are your own theme song

is

if I really show at gmail dot com the
first one was from a guy named

Eric strip Flor and this last one

is an entire two-minute long

is a parody parity yeah parity

but hey they’re delila that he rewrote
to be a theme song for us

great sell a stick around for that not
once from Jake

Jake from Canada the I am that’s it
thanks so much for listening to

everybody will be back

in a week

peace %uh

soon %uh yeah Banerjee Ganymede

you laugh young maybe even shed a tear
only issue

me

Asian ginger

does not always now

back then made in ER social virgins

download

tenderly in my band if you goin yes

you know

sign last time around it’s team

mange

%uh who only show

funny

%uh

0

only show

I

any show

many heard the news easy on June

love you shoes

which got to lose

sandwich musician

your use on me in me is with this dude
use a cell

is these two great deal

up in your arms it’s not only

oh yeah balmy show

the usual

oh yeah the new show

the usual I the usual

well

model

0

move well

are well

are I’m

0 the

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *