Episode 75: Harry Potter (with Dave Rosenberg)


Our boy Dave Rosenberg joins us to discuss breaking up, strip clubs, and tattoos.

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okay well it’s time to start the episode
our boy Dave rosie was in the house the

old the download the money

a few dollars from the it is that that’s

the dollar every other organs up ordered
nature blogs after this haphazard


as though please please enjoy don’t
worry things continue to get realize

sure you even an episode 75

thing state as real as possible Greg

started from the time now they’re here
answering it I

its Jake own MPs started from the bottom
now they’re here

answering in by its Jake owner

pass ecstatic that here gathering at
5:30 J Fernandez

has a starting from the here veteran

I think J here I was like life from the

try to leave my camera to probably
passing got past like I was gonna

the way our went home on Thames with the
ex methadone

might go home colony like with us mail

went to the guest room said noticed
staff trail has like at this nigga can

have a girls

now they’re about to go if I were you
show and they started from the bottom

not here he surrendered nice exchange
for dinner

pay got it from the to that here
benjamin has

I exchange for dinner hey no new songs

a weird thing that year real ran over my

brand that year linea de too much

and now I the key tho other than middle
name is order it covered

now is actually part of the song wow
this is still part of the inside an

amazing Taylor I were here

also hired I don’t like the ending where
I started he had he do that

I don’t know he had sampled your voice
yeah I know weird

different way I’ll lay as a gallon

there’s a fire you the address broadcast
on the internet hosted by us on the mir

I’m Jake and were here with howdy

behind his back it

ago that I how goes it a goes well I’ll
get with you

never better knife I’ll we are

um in a hotel room in Portland Oregon

and Dave rosenberg is with us

and we had our equipment and we figured

we should have you back on the show
since you were such a hit the first time

damp the price is right which is what 40
bucks for the three

from forty 30 I’ll share

he had 30 I the old you negotiating

Portland yeah you’re right and before I

that a theme song was composed by Chris

Estrada so notice

alright um day very billion make food
for dinner

I for you you’re feeling excited

all-you-can-eat sushi is like a city
that we’re going to

we’re not going all you can eat sushi I
mean in theory ever SN is all you can

eat sushi

you’ll just keep ordering it until your
thought for yeah

how much he how much can you eat I

we have a no Yuki sushi place in in
Lincoln NE here

and alone the rosenbergs sorry an error

I’ve got as on the sign when you enter
the town I’ve gone 45

fortify what pieces I

machine either knows no racing writer

build you up to failure I eases and I’d
love fish so they get your

but on the rice the facility here yet

just that little little like slivers of
salmon slivers have your

yeah yeah you a 45

yield one yet so what city you had 45

who’ll each piece is an and he’ll hand

well yeah I like six or seven you

but but the him and got the best deals

ami scoff a read the ad says that unlike

a and encyclopedia the which is edited
by euthanasia

up and sell were

has a work we get emails from people who
aren’t difficult places and we do our

best to advise them had a bit

sometimes it’s just me NJ consent as we
have a special guest

Cody and their and we are going to tease
the a the need to do that again

fair enough but you make the rules the
with breaking

I that’s right you correct

a did you want to talk about anything
before we got started I

notice that I’m there’s excited for
dinner I’m excited that their lives here

that’s and I’m I’m also excited for both
of those things

usually the podcast that we read before
dinners like have a good palpable

excited energy yet but we’re also
usually drinking during those months

that’s really after we have to like act
so loose right now that we it seems like

we’re getting drunk

aka I’m pretty trashed already a real in

Marin I’m going on at a pretty hard he
on beer three airlines

I Simon bar death second date came in
here with a candle you all saw some

have have finished get it twisted know
ahead yep

my purse question these are really
emails from real people we need fake

names to preserve their anonymity

Dave can you just come up with fake
names on the spot for these people is a


big names on months by yeah

of course on the spot I’m great doing
everything on the I

tell me when to do it and I’m ready to
throw you in Ames yards right now is


right bout now you know I’ll you have
Italian out to be a fake name it could

just be any name i’m aware.

more have the name game worked for and
LaMarcus Aldridge

a cave but it’s a female any the girls
naked on the market yeah I think since

we started requiring India

bucking that that your eyelid surgery I
heal fast nephew week for

these at a time markets can be a girl

it will not be a day can be alright by
in a girl named LaMarcus Aldridge a ride

nan:nan I need some advice bast

my semester ends in three weeks and I
planned a trip to Disney World with my


his best friend and my roommate three
months ago him and his best friend are

paying for everything in book the hotel
but the tickets weeks ago

I really dislike my boyfriend I have for
a while now

we’ve been dating long distance since we
started college this year

and it’s been a horrible but I’ve been
holding off ending things because %uh


fucking disney world trip what am I
supposed to do

wait another month and go on this long
vacation together

I feel horrible because my room in his
friend are so excited when they already

paid for everything

is there anyway out of this love

LaMarcus Aldridge mmm pretty name

me I you I like your name the most

do you does this resonate with you at
all have you ever been in a situation

like I want to break up with his girl
but I’m waiting

a resonates with me if I went to Disney

nine times growing up his area yeah we
with you through every year

I I Y I don’t have a single memory but I
know I’ve been there

nine times year you don’t remember
anything from yeah I know how to

many single memory a the only

I can remember who is a disney world
thing but you dad told a really funny

story about you and Jeff going up

Florida on that when they were in high

he let them packed their own bags your I
and they’re like super heavy in the when

they finally got and we were super young
i think im you remind you that the right


more than half the pack your own tag
more than just as you can

so open up the bags and they didn’t pack
any underwear or socks the only brought

the Harry Potter books

although the prairie Potter to be a
calling all

all the Harry Potter books and in also

they had already read them snap it’s a
dirty job a lesson they had ’em

fashion the underwear and socks that
have pages have Goblet of Fire did you


the last Harry Potter book in one
sitting no I

whose to fittings I fell asleep in the

the rate down you read that like nine
hundred-page Harry Potter looking like

two days

mean I know I don’t think so I actually

I would read like a chapter day the kind
you want it over it’s over

yeah but my first internship in

Brooklyn I have enough work to do so I
ended up like

finding a ebook coming online in reading
it like

over three days at work that even they
are you ready yeah

which i think is more impressive because
I was

supposed to be doing work and instead I
was reading the book

for like the 4th time but actually bro a
book on this trip to

but here I notice that yeah your your
bags are very heavy

and yours over in the same underwear
they did when we left

the peace prize good the food served at
the Evert wanted to break up with

someone but elated because the

a thing because it quote-unquote was in
a good time it’s never a good time

that’s right that is true that’s what i
was gonna say

breaking up is never a there’s never a
good time to ruin someone’s life

yeah you can always just really I don’t
do it now there’s finals are I don’t

want to do it now

herbert this coming up or are there now
at this trip coming up right

but if you just keep going at it just
gonna make it worse and worse with that

and you’re also not

actually being sensitive you think
you’re being sensitive

but like its mean to just string someone
along while you hate them

ray so like the nicest thing to do is

and it get out like know if it’s nice

but the nicest thing you can do is just

cut it off the event was that noise

it an air knife eighth did

Ste seemed cuddle up team

like that thing with a blade from

I the Mac can imagine a paper cutter
which is why Mitt than i the

let’s get okay yet cut it was I think

did I you’re saying the play thing to do

ended were a once you make your decision
because it seems like

maybe that maybe you’re just a manager
subway oh I’m I’m gonna delay this and

after the vacation because I don’t wanna
be a dick and ruin this vacation when in

actuality you just don’t wanna go and
ruin the vacation 02

right vacations gonna be ruined year
whether you’re there and you don’t like

him at all or you’re not there are many
think it’s better for him that he’s

going to Disney World

one sees a bachelor again yeah you know
you want you to say like I’ll pay you

guys back for my portion of the ticket
you guys could still go do everyone I’m

not gonna make you pay

Mike cancel totally right once you
mentally decide to break up with someone

I feel like you just gotta do it

because then it just starts eating away
at everything else gore

on TV can change up n go to Harry Potter
world instead

what’s that that the Harry Potter
amusement park

why is that Florida there’s a Harry
Potter amusement park yeah

there’s an entire amusement park built

Harry Potter through arena I don’t know
cuz I’m

30 your downline chill dude

31 China maintained his reputation for
being a year younger than her what they

say and yeah

cool 30-year-old I yes I think I think
we’re all in agreement there

and it as soon as possible Dave

yea or nay yeah do that and it

and or see if you can go to Harry Potter
camera and then we’re going to a regime

under tired trip

right you’ll fall in love with your
boyfriend alien be loved yourself again

it’s good to have another beer and I

next were fucking dominating I

alright well we need another female name

another female name threat many emails

but I

you can see where your break how it
works good

yeah everything you later it

many emails from minnie mouse rates

hello long time listener first time
questioner I’m an American that’s been

studying in London for the past three
years for my undergraduate degree

I’m graduating this July and heading
back home to the US for good

I want to remember these past three
years all the experiences and all the

people with a small tattoo

love the London coordinates here’s the

I thought as I did my friend she loved
it she loved it so much that she decided

she would get one

to I don’t really want this to be like a
tad too buddy situation it’s a personal

thing that I want to get for my own
reasons but I drunkenly approve that she

can get it to

now I’m not sure what to do because I
really don’t want to get the exact same

tad too is her

I just want this to be a unique thing
but I can just tell her not to get the

tattoo anymore because she’s very
excited to keep asking about it what

should I do

help I think this is the funniest thing
in the world

why I love the idea on someone getting
rid of a tad too

and then just one person young around

getting the same thing as everyone else
yeah and for a taking

that away from them stealing it yeah you
rate your matching one guy

meeting everybody with the original you
like calling it all the one rainfall

here you just get that

I an anti superheroes I’ll usually do
when I was thinking about getting from

had to use and I may still do it I would
you have Google search into CP even


what kinda tattoos will be worth the
Dark Mark Carney said that a lot of

people have that with lower Kumar

Baltimore and I summons the

that the nurse a couple notches to a2
yeah guy and no it is okay where is that

where that idea

that a on your forearm in it for

it’s like a snake rolling the risk
alright so that exists were any other

tattoo ideas yeah I want to get um

the chicken wings and my back what
chicken wings

a yeah like some girls and I guess maybe
some guys

havoc angel wings on their back and

think im I like chicken wings and

you know line I get that on my back like
the food

yeah the food that’s really funny like
where your back back

a muscles are yeah like to chicken wings
to chicken wings

I it’s pretty funny that are you pick
said the firm left up to third

I and then be like a little or cop

ok ranch dressing as like a

tramp stamp a like the thought to be
dripping down my back

self okay said to chicken wings on your

that what it’s called your scapula yeah
fans are

yet and Iran stressing thing where your
tailbone is your contacts bonier

and then actual ranch our actual buffalo
sauce or the tattoo buffalo sauce

drizzling Danny spond

there be like from Papa love one in the
wrong to be buffalo NEMA be barbecue

they be dripping

and no be like a combination a blue
cheese and ranch dressing

in Michael cop yet on that one somebody
nobody else to get

know they actually were coupled with at
the ranch dressing up your yeah about

the I added that to make an original

it’s sort of a one-of-a-kind playing it
is funny to try to take someone’s tad


away from them but this girl already
approved it I would like but

these this dirty the London coordinates
probably important it’s

that mean a Mustang as a just like the
102 dan latitude at London

it might be I just take any threat to
you is it gonna be 100 percent original

Andy the very least you could say I
don’t again the same place at in the

same spot

is you to your friend and that’s or you
could just say like a it

if they’re if it’s a friend that she met
a broad Tuesday you know I kinda bailed

on the idea I’m sorry I don’t really
want to get a tattoo

then you come home get the tattoo shall
never know ray or you can get the same

one as her and then

never see her again it will matter yeah
I think there’s enough people in the

world that it’s not gonna like

it will be a big deal if it’s not like a
totally unique to do maybe it did you

just hours after I take it into at a

be like this is what it means to me I
don’t care that she has it and then your

friend is like

it means a lot to her that you guys have
the same to do maybe yeah the new but

it’s a win-win

writing if they have the same tattoo is
you and you get to get a tattoo

doesn’t matter where you can never a
slightly different corner just a fuck

with her

well you tell me that it’s like okay 108
degrees by 112 degrees and we’re not

actually London order so that should be
like I wanted to be I want to get like

my original tied to you if you really
love this go ahead I’m to keep on


and then like your second idea might be
even better

I feel like this is an episode we were
right for web series as you wanted to

get at it and we want to go into

with those are web series it would be I
came in with the text you when you start

giving yourself the text you

%uh that’s great okay then what happens
with breakdown let’s brainstorm this

into your office day yeah I’m opening a
final draft right now

we’ll write and final draft they don’t
have to know that Kellman and baby

we read it and text edit we did for like
that we read it in Gmail

the would you tell this girl to do a

think should stop being friends with her

but and get the tattoo

and live the rest of your life in
ignorance 90 min though she got the I

at school yeah so the only thing is to
make permanent as the fact that she’s no

longer friends at the a

yes loser ditcher mmm-hmm

all new fringe Nahata acute on the
opposite a direct you know

on new friends every year just the a

here’s a novel idea: honestly telling
her not to get the tattoo

that alleges that now you didn’t really
near a bit wordy word here you’re just

lay there maybe get that letter get the
tat to you then she’d be happy

I say tell need find convoluted

who would you say won that round Jake
not singer yeah

a convoluted will you got a little wins
I won’t flip mode

appeared near a flip-flopper put modes
but the a regular John Carey

ice where do not my president here about
it he wants president actually

you lost the election I’ll it yeah it’s
not get into that it’s going to get a

bit heated

lot I you know why know that leaving
John Kerry won

dewayne I don’t know

you don’t know you be the judge and the

knows they did not for the fair enough
good then

grand peddled um

anything left to this guy for this girl
we give a lot of options I don’t feel

that we gave her a definitive favorite

I say tell the friend not to get the

or give her the fake coordinates to a
shitty City

what the shittiest city you can get cord

maybe somewhere in the Indian Ocean
baghdad excuse you

it’s probably a city city I we ruined it
ain’t way

the next College Humor tours booked for
baghdad in you just blew it here

we’re doing a baghdad beirut ticket
sales are through the roof

don’t know if we did a show in baghdad
one person would buy a ticket

let’s go quick a is anybody out there
listening in baghdad

30 percent of our country for Facebook
fans actually located in baghdad

the grave and monitor those am

aren’t next question boom

we need a guy’s name the guys name

yeah man the air who have to use lamar
kisses are

yeah I by you yeltsin of

I guess that’s a woman’s name any night

back let’s go with dev okay that’s a

you don’t know your wheels are still
spinning later dr steve steve is going

on your

okay I it a

the Steve junior

rights hey as I need a little advice
here I’m getting married soon about

and my brothers my best man I’m not much
of a partier and I told him I just

wanted to get a chill get together type
party so we planned a weekend fishing

trip with some guys which is perfect but

he has recently mentioned to some of my
friends that he plans on moving the

party to a strip club

near the place we’re staying but I
really have no desire to go to one

and to make matters worse this is our
rural backwoods type a strip club in the

middle of nowhere louisiana

I don’t want to hurt his feelings by
objecting or sound like a wimp for not

wanting to go to a strip club

what should II do love Steve junior

tell that you shouldn’t be a wimp all
alone being with you

the boers rosenberg’s last the episode
78 sorry mister lipstick nerd

a rig oil loser you’re a loser for that

/url I don’t wanna see hot pussies in
the words

not yet through me getting just seeing
that fuckin

schram yeah I do that backwards pussy
are you can begin to ET’s

are little brown ass any stripper that
you see that counts is getting with a


white yeah and if you see all the reek
chicks in a kid that means you got with

three chicks that so when you watch porn
you’ll see retired I’ll get it yeah

the kinda guy the one yet one more I got
laid off and you have added a hearing

if it’s a cam and she’s talking to me
and I’m not a edgy says Amir you owe me

forty eight dollars a year that CIOs

48 letters saying your name David your
been on a cam

I don’t know that is like you sign up
and you pay like

you know three four five dollars minute
have a girl live watch you masturbate

that ho chi produce it did the Sprint

I well five dollars a minute that touchy

super happen are you paying 150 bust
only need a minute

I I need us candida can say with no
minimum time

and if I do thirty seconds can i jus Ben
milieu 250

have you done that have it aka but it
sounds intriguing

d like strip clubs arm

yet llamame you love ’em cat why

absolutely adore them why minor because
American dream

I feel like kinda like this guy like a
strip club is like going to a restaurant

being allowed to eat any of the food

to your lolol you know the food

say a that you know you need to cut a

supported by Beazer that slim trim he’ll

I think I don’t like it cuz there’s you
go to a club or a bar

and like we have it’s a it’s a
competition like there’s

a certain amount a girls in here that
you’re attracted to you yeah I wanna

make them like me

yeah I wanna be the one that goes home
with them and fuck them and

you go to a strip club its all equal all
the girls like

all the guys there does he tell you that
they’re paid so there’s no competence

like it’s a Kiwi it’s like for you it’s
like playing basketball but not keeping


yet what’s the point everyone’s gonna
get how everyone has to have to as good

as the bald with a be like exercise I
guess it be I don’t there’s no

equivalent to me

it’s like playing Monopoly without money
yeah maybe sell

it the it its share so it takes away
your element of quote-unquote winning

right there’s no cop there’s no
competitive edge thatcher

the person with the most money wins
hours a third like a big

life competitive edge today so like the
the game you play outside the strip club

exists inside the strip club is like on
the richest guy here so the girls will

like me

yet rated but on the flip side if you’re
really good looking maybe they’ll charge

you less

clear that work with us well has that
ever happen either

yeah but what they charge you less for a
lap dance did Jeff and I’ll be there

together my identical twin brother

I can get a lap dance for ten dollars
cheaper than him

mom better-looking okay follow question
wise a lap dance good

I am is Anna just teasing you to the
point where you’re just annoyed at the

end of it

no I’ll aware you know a pair of
sweatpants without underwear

him coming I

it is still image to get orange that

a fucking and cumming I am look a lot
waiting game that this don’t worry

if he just wears mesh shorts with silk
boxers to the strip club the heating

comparable out there’s somebody was
telling me recently

in a strip club that they make strip
club specific pants

would like a calm receptacle that’s like

I was like an IV bag and you and when
you’re grinding your coming and it’s

like clean because the it’s like it’s
like a plastic ziplock baggie for your

jersey that insane

about time I innovation that seems crazy
but actually I sponsor this episode

not come pants got hard please ribbed

Breer goodness what a name a pickup beds

that’s the name in the pants so the
website has come to an Stardock com

um did you just you just got your first
lap dance

yeah well I don’t know what you guys
justify this is a lap dance hours in a

strip club

and a girl started dancing on me and it
seem like she was giving me a lap dance

and then she asked me if I want to go
get a lap dance

for twenty dollars in like the back area
I C and as I i’m ok am good like

what you just did was like me rubbing
her boobs on my face I soon that’s going

to happen there and I

you will have to pay a sum okay not
doing that did you say all that to her

yeah because this was in Mexico so I was
just like I

Knoll no would you say I got a lap dance
based on that

yellow 30 death in your lap so that the
lapd and okay great that’s off my bucket

list after that and I don’t think you

did get 10 but why is that good why is
that fun

it’s not did you play better than
nothing don’t you like getting a lap


it’s on to the fun experience I think
it’s just like but is a better than


why is better than nothing everything is
better than nothing

okay let me sit with that avoid have no

a no time space know those sensitive

self at another black nurse that’s
nothing so lap dance of course the apt

but doesn’t it

I would say lapdances negative and
nothing is neutral

I wouldn’t say let them test is negative

d do you can actually get after these
things yeah

like actually harm ha you but

I did you tell me one time that you came
from working out really hurt

yeah I was come from work now me in

I K from working out I always come from
working out

it sounds like a very happy to settle a
guy just came from work it out only like

you’re here right now you forget nano I

I came I finished while I was working

no I’m jerking off as a meaning no you
really decided I would you like lifted

weights so I think yeah

oh yeah dude it really a worker yeah

do not supply enough if you could I get
news I’ll call you don’t know what’s

coming is

I you love me on the treadmill up when I
have you’re going those cover baby

okay a it breaks it was made to merge

watching an episode about the view in
the middle of the day on close caption

commuter got your headphones

back when barbour waivers was young and
beautiful appeared you in six years ago

yeah gorgeous absolutely gorgeous those
Apple titties

from tear drop to knees um

so have you actually finished in a in a
strip club

now that’s disgusting but you haven’t
finished you know waiters

I I paid good money to join that gym

you that’s an equinox they know there’s
appeals in the fucking lucky 2010 Milos

the do

I so with this guy supposed to do a well

he has two options one you could just be
like no I don’t wanna go to the strip

club cuz

after all it’s a bachelor party in his
honor so he gets to make the rules

or you can like feel bad for his brother
Billy Idol on Al at least given this all

go to the strip club

I won’t enjoy it you can at least enjoy
it like on a novel like I’ve been to

strip clubs before it’s not like

a bad time if you with your friends yeah
there’s lotsa fun

life experience things to be had I agree
I would say embrace the stupidness ovett

that it’s like

some backwoods strip club do there with
your buddies and it’ll be

and Astrid see it is funny rather than a

but those small strip clubs are even
sadder than any other says that we did

with him this one

in Portland last time we were here oh
yeah and you had a four dollar stake

yeah knows that there’s a guy rule in
Portland where every bar as they have

food so strip clubs have

foods like this like strip club was
really small can its sooo bad like a

steak buffet for four dollars and I
gotta and I got stake in it was

delicious and I got a lap dance while

I got hair put money down while I was
eating the steak

a select the girl that I ate steak with
an asshole

I can’t right this minute yeah

a from press Israel what’s never I

represent yeah it does digging there is
good pocket for loose change as 240 but

is it a try to haggle them down

do a chicken dinner in a a fully clothed
lap dance

I and i was thinkin if your league
legitimately uncomfortable at the strip

club you have a really negative time you
just tell your brother brother-in-law


was I can remember which one was yeah
just be like ya

this is my party and I’ll cry if I want

do something different am you know
what’s your address Dave

say disco sewn up suck it up second in

yet now I am you’re the man Steve junior

you the do I talk about anything during
the break a time

um no any funny stories from the road

the two were free agent or hash tag
others are going to come out

after the tour at this time I the social

hi I will I will make sure that it to
the deck

other area the the advice that I got for
upgrading a hotel room that didn’t work

oh yeah I was really funny really the
what am i

a family friends works in the hotel
business and he’s like and ask him about

tips about the you know

what do the insider people know about
hotels that I would know

and one other things he told me is that
front desk people have carte blanche

access to do whatever they want

upgrade so if you’re very nice and
friendly and you tip them odds are the


upgraded to a nice sweet so a mic so
what use

as I’m checking in give the person like
twenty dollars or forty dollars that yet

be given like 20 larger fifty dollars
he’ll either

Europe usually be upgraded to a room
that’s like a higher value than that

so in Seattle I went to the front desk
now is too scared to just like show up

and say hi my name’s may give her a
twenty dollar bills I didn’t do it there

and then in Portland I psych myself up
as I am gonna do it

so I walked to the front desk I like
hello and Aguilera twenty dollar bill


a what’s this other it’s for years I

manage the okay and then unless he did
notice due to which she didn’t even put

in your pockets use the hell did
awkwardly in her hand

million 32nd as if I was breaking her or
is she had never cheat never did you

don’t understand what attempt was like

as I was saying just like they’ve types
like cracking up yeah peace lol just

holding this money like as if I asked
her to hold is

twenty dollar for me like well I tied my
shoes and then she’s like anywhere in

this room in this room like here

either t like complimentary upgrades
available and is that now are sold out


I’ll very good very well I do Jessica

you grab the twenty dollar bag I from
now on my money back it is why

however there is gonna didn’t pan out
maybe it’s like an LA thing ridge’s

apartment then be and who were also

I was and I think that Lake UsWe gas
hotel where like

everybody’s all like yet we see their so
they’re playing that

like loud music in the lobby there’s a
bar at the W

where a hotel in Vegas this was like
it’s such a its pretty quaid in my old

Portland hotel don’t have I’m not even
sure there are sweeteners that

I am on the 11th floor verses you guys
on the third and fourth the think that

was a coincidence in Miami rated me

my room looks exactly like this based on
a lower floor

on so thus it’s worse

might have a better view by your
elevator either longer

through monitor than that for I’m Nasri
money dollars back here is very nice

but he said that’s the risk you take
sometimes you tip and they just don’t

have the available sweets for you

maybe it also considers someone else
checking next year

and its you know doesn’t look good to
take money from someone

maybe like knowing seeing it I know it’s
not a bribe is just that kid now it’s

kind of a bright are just greasing the
wheels a little bit baby yeah

maybe they don’t want other people to
see that may like other death

they are you tipping works I think they
want everyone that

yeah that’s where we differ as people

that’s not the only place I’ve also
never come from curling

I and I’m not pushing hard enough my
friend that’s right now I don’t think I

ever wanted was a bad heart you do

you do is no greater joy and coming in
public love

I olwein arete max till you cum

keep pushin oh wait until you ejaculate
your bad trainer told you one day

I am what else are we have that live
podcast on

May 31st at the Hollywood Improv that’s
right daily come for that

me know i’m ok don’t think that’s
checking out

whenever we started it we start at
Kickstarter to get you to cut a buyer

for 250 but to buy a ticket to LA would
you come to that show

yeah I well well I think ima come for
the all nighter for maybe they will


I’ll another thing with the 21st alright

II Kickstarter for Dave Laham

you yet don’t don’t donate to any other
charity but ours in order to get the

rosary at LA for

liberia level and everything one time
Big Dave

AIM I ready to get to the last last last
last question

let’s do it as question to the night
comes from

fact up need another dude’s name

the gym easy could I

yep major super simple I think this is
the most easy for the show is coming up


some dope original name

many Malays City and New Year I

and yes little had its world range will
be named

David Rodan her third senior

and my father David Rosenberg senior

at their dads there’s a Ikea other his

I that another thing from Harry Potter

at you shall not be named I

hey guys so my lit teacher Carl I don’t
care you can say is named you should cuz

buckingham really doesn’t like me and
I’m not saying that no way most

teenagers do about teachers who give
them bad grades he really hates me and

he’s not scared they’re pretty much let
the whole class no

he does this by responding to my
questions with what he thinks are witty

retorts that are just kinda

leave me stumped for example

every time I ask can I go to the
bathroom he says I don’t know

can you it’s not even original it’s just

can you think I’ve anything I can say
back that would make him feel like a

complete do place without putting them
on a complete

classroom blast and getting myself into
trouble yet again

thanks guys cell

how do I make my teacher feel like a
doofus yeah

because he you really he release skids
me with shit like I don’t know

can you Hulk 0

is the a lil who I have ever call retort
to that they’re already

to that specific one a cake I gotta um
pic I go to the bathroom

I don’t know can you yeah I can go right
here if you don’t let me go to the


and then you start pissing on the floor
it’s dark early when it simply start

Jackie elating who who and what any
ideas Dave

little fun here but product teacher

I loved all my teachers today love you

I would never show for their tests
though because I had IBS

so when diarrhea head yeah but you just
can’t show up

I K something maybe this kid but

conservative do the same thing an act
like he accidentally shot himself in

class and you actually per bearish

the teachers know what to do lol and

a yet so his problem is that he has a
like being embarrassed in class

near and you’re advised is to a diary

residents and diarrhea himself yes
please there’s Tinkler

yet one in the stink bombs the new

the road at the teachers yell at earth
with anybody

just want to have everyone in the
classroom believe that the shit their


yeah the up way you do is you put you
put a little stink bomb into a water

balloon fill it with chili

and you just sort of have that at your
disposal then

at the least opportune time say the
beginning a test the middle use it on

the water balloon at

you’ll you’ll hear distinct one-third as
the chilly water

trickles down your thighs in this Nick
mom help permeates the room

man that he truly so mortified that uses
diarrhea in you celebrate everyone will

be absolutely

iced down did not know what to do that’s
your event that’s what I meant

yes sounds airtight I like your ass

dripping with that really going on here
hittin here’s my

here’s my suggestion you get everyone
else in the class

in on some sort of weird joke so you say
something to him

but you get everyone in the class to
just agree to

stifle after or conceal their motion

so let’s say you say like hiya Carl d

green apples are red and he’ll be likely
talk about whatever all be snickering


a like try to hold it in and the fear

30 teenagers a secretly making fun of
view are you not knowing why

should be enough to mortify him that’s
really evil

I my advice is that this guy does he
just sounds like he’s sort ago

a the sound like this or to their do
this already

and you’re a bigger doofus snowden news
and leave each other alone

I just go to the bathroom before his

and be quiet it’s not just about the
bathroom is about being put on a class

blast me but I yeah here’s how you do
have to get revenge on this

tedious that they’d get revenge on the
teacher it sounds like this is

really it’s it’s like two losers

methods and the nobody else cares

yeah I’m kinda mean do it I’d like to be
there what’s cool is this

there’s nothing like a good teacher
versus studio rivalry

I agree yeah and you the only way to win
is by

the Obama ganging up because he has all
the authority it so the only thing you

could do is

embarrass him with like by made me feel
settled a bit don’t be mean to your

teacher yet how you sure

unusually teachers a great alright but
this guy’s a fucking do foresees a coral

for crying out loud take into account
that the person who wrote the email

might sucking

oh yeah this kid so this this teacher is
the federal government’s

mayor yeah thing up ok annual and every
all the kids love this Google account

Jesus he’s just how is trying to get you
to say may i that’s it

because he let teachers in language
today but it would be fun to secretly

embarrass him in a weird cryptic way
that’ll keep my issue is when you’re in

trials are turning towards league is why
you your

you wanna play a prank yeah I get that
but an anti prank where it’s not really

a prank but he doesn’t know that

right it still evil because it still
making him insecure and sad

yeah to teach that’s what I wanted to me
I want to feel Alden secure

sad an out-of-touch yet and then maybe
you ought to be a teacher anymore

movie guy add any gonna do something
more I’ll tell some others friends that

will happen is classroom in they’ll say
oh man I do want to be a teacher anymore

either and then there will be a teacher
there won’t be any school and all the

sudden we’re sinking into

to baghdad territory I a fate worse than

a I that it that that’s our time

we’re going to get sushi thinking hmm
thanks day for coming back

thank you David I was a pleasure that
email address if you want to submit your

own questions it is

if I really show at gmail dot com if you
have your own theme songs

like the guy at the beginning whose name
is Chris

or the guy who wrote the theme song at
the end of this episode

whose name is George Gavin George Gavin

you can send those over to a fire you
show a gmail dot com

as well thanks guys and yeah

I don’t know what to say yes sir I guess

I don’t know we both left the room WJ
have to tell guys by

JA cannot man I’m means

only see his ING in the air %uh

little home

I of badass see

sell me see punchy these SC

saint-eustache dome do I we played

the on emergency Domo

MUA do

down soon answered

say it all go home got it all do


my news so I

down there highly you show






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