Episode 92: Cookies

Description:

In this episode we discuss texting girls, swiping guys, and renting cars.

This episode is brought to you by SlugBooks.com (for all your College Textbook needs) and Harrys.com (for all your shaving needs!)

its that time of the year again it’s
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pretty pretty important a sec add this
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for a text buddy what the that’s why I
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no it’s not okay no laos at a learning
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yeah and I like to party and I don’t
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if you got a slow books dot com slash
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love me or a Jake cool code do you
remember they made lately they turned it

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are a animated books yes little cartoon
book I remember it

so those accused entirely upon those are
from the doc every 90 minutes she I

denied it reminded Khan went on like
you’re always there anything I was just

reminding the audience

you really remember that yet again met
you remember that as a yes and I’ll I

settle I remember the

and I

that and if they dude I I was there

you got to remind me especially five or
six

maybe even have a dozen times is now
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the if the text like they’re selling
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if you’re in school now about this
episode well haha

what a roller coaster it was we answered
questions we

we talk to each other we even did some
rest in bits some skits and Skechers

with it was just like a fun little hmm
what seemed to be

seven-and-a-half hours was actually
closer to nine what yeah how’d you know

I know

though there was little I’m not that
long we still have shows

tickets available for shows in London
September 8th

rate as granite September 8th and will
put that link on our website

please come check it out there’s a live
podcast and alive shell

who let’s get started things get your
bike June as you have been

do moms

the

has one

go

by dozen times names

she’s do

sometimes my yeah

be Dodgers guess

you can’t hear

goodbye

we’re gonna stop it right there how
there’s a second verse

I don’t want to go on for too long some
gonna play the rest a bit at the end

t0 here hanger click around the year the
end that’s all I

Bell is awesome right it was i Ben
flowers send flowers

I legit thank you better than Green Day
yeah craziness say that

maybe it’s likely said I think he can do
an impression have a great great singer

are you a great thing gather is there a
year are easily he said

other that you said earlier you could do
a Freddie Mercury in Brescia a good

thing

every day it could it be like a musical
and resin ivy league is so much better

than an actual impression

yeah because it’s like talent plus also
you can sound like him

do you remember learning about that
you’re seeing that video for the first

time in like nineteen ninety-five

degree day one at the Baghdad others
yeah I was like Oh my God my mom could

not know of

had this is live at there is a line
about

jerking it I i at there’s like that line
I went to a whore

yes that analyze the ball over the world
with a I

they’re funny think that our
eighteen-year-old fans were born

after that song came out it’s crazy

that’s you wanna feel old paper Billy
Joel

Billy Joel Armstrong Billy Joel
Armstrong yeah

68 billy joel’s son you don’t believe
that they’re related

Billy Joel had a sign any named Billy
Joel

our apt %uh and then his last name is
Joel yeah

so billy joel’s son is Billie Joe
Armstrong Jol

but only biking night I can’t believe
that I can’t wrap my head around that

back to yeah that’s crazy it is a fact
that is it back through

through yeah the tour is part of all is
that the back

and vice versa ever survive the

back to spread all a

this is if I are you the only buys
podcast show on the internet hosted by

me

and me I’m hier and I’m Jake that I
really say that hasn’t been flowers

you did I K he deserves another one
leaders there there’s another name any

desires as I be played at the end in the
blood goes I think

you’re being a little flowers a grand I
think been away

yeah I’m doing to it to give ’em to give
them to shout out then too good to

a book ended the pipette I i think is
good

i think is great I don’t they do you
believe joel’s son great now

know who is except for Billy Joel
Armstrong Joel

the I so how does this shell word well
basically a layer road by

right now but don’t stop get it get it

a people right in to our show

if I ratio gmail dot com with questions
they seek our

guidance and advice and we do our best
to offer it on this here podcast

see you download it and you can listen
to it on the girl down the best part

like to get there could be in a car and
listen to the shell

you like walking on the street was
initial reading the subway listening to

this show

you could be at the gym listening to
this show could be public iron as you

listen to this show

yeah you can just be did we are to say
at the GM you could be like

home from a day yeah your iPod on
shuffle other ahead lay

and then you’re like hooking up with
this girl

crashes play uno Yahoo crash soon as the
media has seen in the

and it’s like feel the day after his
defeat

always lafitte I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m
sorry there there

I wanted to go through every situation
so that when someone’s

everyone listening to them early that’s
what I’m doing

you could be watching the dishes doing a
chore around the house you could be

doing a chore

yeah you could be driving to you visit
your father as nursing home Miami hi

bobbie

a I am at how mami listens to it

and her mom birthday I love you are miss
you

and leave a dad hey had a

with bother by there how are you I hope
you’re well

I don’t know how other bucky landed her
am

hey Bob the 10-year now to the guidance
feel that

good 200 is an upsell you’re not a
number

you’re a pair I it you’re a pear-shaped
dad

your fruit their fruit daddy

I a group that is out there you’re
delicious but

that bob Mon I 30 recap

Mazatlan here I’m all the pair but mobs
a hundred

but Bob the 110 enya ABA to advocate
okay

a beta years but mister potato dad

your what’s that line from I really a
your a

you’re a chicken pot Epica and petaluma

favorite Turkey ever the red chicken
parmigiana

were so funny to us

some yeah that’s why we like I like us

yeah because where r I think you’re
funny because you know the exact same

sense of humor is me

yeah and likewise and then when we get
together and do step it’s funny for me

yeah some stuff I i laughed when I
thought I the like maybe

yeah they’re gonna yell into a mirror
and its

funny all right talk radio microphone I
listened to it later I giggle to myself

that’s funny to me

June as the let’s start let’s do this

let’s answer some questions these are
real emails

from real people and if you have your
own emails you can e-mail a fiery show a

gmail account

also be at your own theme song you can
email that same

same email address alright what should
we call this person we want to give them

a fake name to preserve

his anonymity anonymity a

what about if we call him from Dallas

Dallas yeah like know it’s going to be
like are you now you know

again lol not Capitals live minnows
Houston Seattle texas is in

I believe it’s Austin know yet sorry I’m
ready her

Dallas rights hey guys I need your
advice about whether or not to tell on

my best friend to his mom

he’s an Orthodox Jew who has been
studying on how to be a pickup artist

and he told me that he plans to spend
the next year partying instead of

attending college

he says it’s the last time in his life
will get a chance to party like that

I don’t want him to lie to his mom but I
was okay with not getting involved in

telling her that he and are delighted
air

her about going to college the previous
year his mother said that she’ll kick

him out of the house if he skipped
college again

and it’s not like he’s dropping out a
college to pursue his dream a comedy

career anything like that

he just wants to party the school term
hasn’t started yet what should I do

sincerely Dallas Dallas

am course this is the matter you have to
take into your own hands

straight to the mommy yeah this is going
all the way to the top

I think this of course involves you yeah

I think a I think this is not a familial

order you’re not what did I think yeah
either you have

I would even say a moral a moral
obligation

obligation amoral right to world demand

to what you must battle I was

yeah our tell it at Altair I was sell it
at eleven

tell yeah I know that our list tells
tales didn’t at all then

your friend might be rattled but I think
the business has been saddled

a pet settled settled seller saddled
bought a rule that I

lol Kailai email Carlo

I’ll we’re confusing in offending people
um

other cases are not that out yet bloody
include up by

why do we have to know that I don’t know
why we had to know that I guess but it

does here mean

understanding more yeah baby disorder
like sense the

paint the picture it right with any
implications

%uh dropping out of school being a
pickup artist you know we definitely

gonna go to hell

maybe his family has the river an
expectation for him to go to school and

study the Talmud meaning of course he is
very good

as you must I A early I have no Sun

the I what are you a big about as the
others that and why did you pick up a

lesson lol yes mail her at

.id.au you gotta tell his mom you have
to do

I think it’s important that you be the
person that do it his friend

I you I think the hardest part will be
sitting his mother down there

and thank I’m afraid this is it’s come
to this

I have to tattle it a live goes a little
something like theirs is a loss that I

think you know I’ll hear what Alice

I’ve come here yeah yes it’s me dollars
a syrup

the sole ugh I have appease the news
that I do you’re going to be happy that

it’s coming for me

at the rate I’m stranded gonna shock and
awe year old

I resign I’ll wants to become a bigger
part is the wants to party

is planning and not going to college
sounds like everyone’s the party should

go to college

yet there are other girl you party I do
you want to pick up girls

became 18 get any delegates but to do it
may reveal a que maybe you should go to

college if you wanna

a1 talk to babes into party a lot

yeah that’s what you do in college at
the very very good point and I’m

definitely gonna get away with lying to
his peers about going to college

yeah that’s their money is get the
checks are getting cash buyer school

yet you’re the only 1i he’s never been
to class

it seems like a very tough lie to get
away with I think I’m with the mir you

talk to him first

you convince above the merits of going
to college rather than a

telling is mommy on him so funny in
everyone’s

did he bring up the fact that he could
approach is dead

I have to tell his mommy is there
anything you tell my Molony

well that’s a good question what would I
tell I guess if you added

drug problem and you weren’t like
seeking any help I would like

maybe email your parents me like Ajax
like

start to like lose grasp of wasn’t well
then what yeah that’s a fair you

probably have

a conversation with me about it soul
right at this is after I find out that

you lied to me like

you would like a right-handed are doing
a lot better yeah I got lol really and I

going to the bathroom I see a syringe
Andre

shady sleep really liked you I think you
live in my brother

I’ll like call him yet mirell is young
and the young to listen to what he says

noble like maybe I go to my parents as
unified real ale with your brother to

your parents yet

yeah that’s a good plan I would me I’d
maybe like before you go straight to

bother he’s got siblings or anything or
anybody close to the family the US was

his buddy

if he’s actually an Orthodox Jew mods
are he has nine younger sisters and six

older brothers

all within like 11 months have him that
you can go to talk to yeah perfect

though that go to civil brand Spurs know
him first

then for then like other friends then
themselves at length

then mami then Mom and ultimately if
necessary

daddy daddy but you have to the moms
that whatever I don’t give a shit

right air pocket and back it I don’t
care

weird orthodox to yeah or whatever

baby value or a bigger are the most do
as my

a gay skeleton thing again it skeleton
or Leslie

if paper yet although there was let and
his twin sister Leslie they are

but but who gives a shit as long as
you’re a pickup artist baby

it there are Leslie at the please that
smoking that long cigarette my house

its two and a half yard line I

alright ready yeah way that we have this
guy both

yeah tonight to talk to his friend and
kindred spirits cool them I talk to the

people that go straight to mommy and
tell

my a perfect we did it yeah a

alright got a question from a lady but
who will call

shiny I okay Asia

there as the NCAA yeah Asia but

k third that city the Jones places that
would be im

hmm server is running DNA galileo’s and

thank you one is this hot babe named
Asia

yeah both you fearlessly I

hmm hey guys i’m having a big dinner
problem and sons Jake is the one who

convinced me to start using in the first
place I thought you guys can give me

some advice

so I got out of a really long
relationship about a year ago and I’ve

dated a little bit since

but largely enjoyed being single I
started using tender little bit ago and

I met this guy really like

we’ve been hanging out a lot the last
month or so and I think we have a really

good connection the problem is

I’m still using tender and every time I
have a match that super good looking and

seems like someone I’d like

I wonder if I should be getting any kind
of serious with the guy I’ve been seeing

I feel like I’m missing out on so many
hot guys

maybe I’m just not ready for a
relationship or is it too early for me

to be thinking that we’re getting
serious

he seems kinda obsessed with me in a
good way also the sex is really great I

don’t want to lose that

I don’t know what to do can you help me
out love Asia

who Asia what is quite a dilemma

it is not raining well she’s suffering
from what

is the major problem with like online
dating in general is that like

it’s so hard to choose one because you
know in your pocket is a million others

yeah and whether or not they’re as good
as this what like

even though you might have found the
greatest one would you rather have 2

through 10

rate cell like maybe if the quantity
thing not a quality thing

that through so it seems to me like she
is she still

like if it was really an awesome guy she
would not feel inclined to tender as

much

that’s you maybe she doesn’t even think
is number one

yeah I think I could equate it to like a
big bucket of cookies

ray I love it so far fresh bukkit bukkit
cookies yeah

oh my god all these look at you dig you
dependent yeah

you like okay this one’s the 2008 that
was little bigger and it was all about

it oh this one

actually doesn’t have any chocolate
chips that but okay so it’s like sort

have

you are in that dating pool like this
cookie looks really good I want it is

good people like

was there with his cookie and there’s
like I see a quarter ever go down there

that might be good

yeah Miley like your idea is wanna be
China these cookies

and if this dude was sued so super great
damages be a big ass cookie said right

on the top and you will know for sure

Yan you get like full of value anyone
any other cookies because he be sick if

the basic have cookies may be caving
milk at this point I’m I

sold if you’re at your email then you
being cocky

I that saw everything with the milken is
not a Whore

um when I the milk with them is CNN

tell you what yet the if they do that it
is feed

and speaking to see the if you okay I

actually is another good metaphor for
your planting a garden I

yet we’re playing card in the air and if
you don’t tell their soil

then you don’t get the SLI better and it
any a

good when it rained it more lawyers so
let me tell you where

and but look at but in a salad only hope
that our glass milk oh yeah Mia Mia Mia

hit theaters everywhere and if that
sounds delicious

a tab is there here comes the computer
don’t care hand caught in the cookie jar

anti lead you to my digits like brave

I am reading and and I waiting under
Vista

home I’ll about the metaphor back on
what i was gonna go

yeah I thought it was an idiot totally
sound

and then it’s well I was imagining you
know there’s like

a a metal tins and Danish butter cookies

those guys have a monopoly on cookie
tense a pretzel one with sugar on top

the round one the round said United yeah

the the subdivision a ped the air they
there this week is a Danish Danish

Saturday the one that looks like a swirl
like it was pumped out a puff pastries

are

I i dont yeah what other ones are in
there there’s like the one we like a

wheel here and there is a

yeah weird little we don’t hangout for a
home in Tashan I say we go should I say

we go straight to the

the sugar pretzels gimme at 10 a red or
blue 10 filled with sugar pretzel give

me a monopoly on those tits dude

yeah how much money do we have to look
how much of her life our assets do we

have to liquidate have

just even compete with them at this take
down his Danish

cookie conglomerate of leader legal I am
not really good are they legal

it’s it’s it is illegal it’s it’s I’m
not only monopoly and might even be an

oligopoly

yeah it’s a monopoly above amaya
monastery at

above the monarch the and a little bit a
monocle

yeah I think I think this is Bill the
most we’ve deviated in degenerate their

legal in Co Galway

but you is Danish cookie mafia

it just workin open your eyes people’s
the same got it out on the gingerbread

man

yeah I forgot they didn’t think it fit
only three in with a layered the layer

cake

and the wax paper that the use do you
believe the boy that

there isn’t there there is a real detail
for the hot

that’s not OK the stuff really that’s
money the first given off the top

and I wouldn’t be surprised if you’ve
got money

lie delivered a Blood Diamond

show ever to the blood and gore
summertime is a very low blood cookie

now I never that doesn’t make sense why
would ever do that

welcome to the future Hyperion or what
cookies were obtained using means that

we’re violence

sometimes fatal and a little bit cooler
a very cool a

a good

the this is what we get for recording a
podcast at 4am

we are just loopy done um

4 a.m. England time but still still I
thought to this girl duo

you got a lil would you say don’t delay
or player hate

because you know you could always go on
Ricki Lake

the the world needs wanna hear that are
saying I am

is the and any and

yeah and she is pretty fly for a white
guy yeah

I well it would you say

what is it what is your advice to this
girl I’ll keep sampling

to that as they toda to that as they are
at Rs

up to that I say just keep swipe

but up dude you say gives 11 go for it

kik swipe in on the 10-year cuz your my
name made up girl

yeah I know I maybe got baby does need a
couple more day to me about that before

you’re like I

this guy is dope you note it is I feel
like I’m sort of in the red same place

she just got ever really long
relationship about a year ago

same with me and I don’t know if there’s

when you’re out over a lot when you’re
in a long relationship you get out a bit

you feel such a joy to be independent

and it’s not just being able to hook up
it’s also just like doing whatever you

want

like it’s very liberating a to

be the master have your own schedule

yeah so maybe that’s what she has going
for her and she doesn’t want to give

that up

just yet was a study with somebody who’s
obsessed with her

she says assessed in a good way right
but I don’t like a

that the 10-year think winning Lake I
don’t really view being single as being

a massive my own schedule

and like inundated with people who wanna
hang out and see me

right now it’s like oh my god I’m a
little stressed the you get to choose

who you hang out with

I guess that you get to choose
everything about yourself yeah that’s

true

when your relationship for better for
worse usually it’s like it’s worth

you know because you want to set a
schedule with somebody else they want to

do stuff you wanna do stuff but it’s
just not all entire you

if it were entirely you then they really
should be bad rate

cell years sort of at the when a little
bit of somebody else’s can rightly hey I

wanna do this what’s your opinion on it

writers and when you’re just like very
casual I K

I’m gonna do this yeah I’m gonna do
whatever I want that’s true

II guess I think

for me anyway when when ever I had known
I have like known

if there is never ever like a of should
I be doing this is this

normalcy like should I take this step in
this relationship with always like

beyond my control

right so if if they were in my opinion I
don’t know if I’m ever right cuz I think

I’m actually really stupid

but I’d but if you are your heart I love
the hearts confused yeah I would it be

like

you know what if I’m like if I have
doubts than

that the answer even if the sex is
really great to buy great sex anywhere

Mahal toda hi aimed at our baby

I ain’t that hard yeah

heck paying ok a Tommy

he going Connie yeah thiol

I maybe agree with DA feel like we’re on
the same page if

keep just keeps weapon defeat like a

you’re not ready to be in a relationship
yet and that’s OK too

don’t okay that’s beautiful and thats
line and I call your gonna die alone

because it but hey at least you got a
slight burn extra six months that you

were

on your debt that was the last word I’ll
actually I’ll let me just match

why mad

that thank God I didn’t settle for the
guy that I love that was obsessed with

me in a good way you’re fucked up by
listening to us is we’re just say

so you could be listeners podcast ride
the train you could be listening to

washing dishes then you could be on your
deathbed on your phone slightly and

tender

who do you think is our oldest

person has listened to every episode is
podcast not good is it bill is it a

person’s

8 is AJ is and lettuce if you’re if
you’re sorted in that age range in you

listen to every single absurd email us
and let us know

another person his listen every syllabus
earlier

I got a good guess the better

okay so you wanna say that the same time
123 an incident their guests

one to 33 42 sixty

yeah that sold I know I build with
regret

good 60 and is not even like it doesn’t
know is there is related to us

the a mom’s not sixty is that through
this again a month

not a bad thing he knows that a bad
thing with its that’s what is the Eid

I had a theory that it might be my mom
and I didn’t want it they heard

a better because they didn’t want her to
be sitting in the car and Miller and

think that I thought that she tell the
truth a yeah

all right sir 42 if you’re older than
480 listen every episode let me know

prove me wrong people

prove me her love what a boy experiment

I yeah that bar for everyone but me this
is the point to the podcast right

and that can only mean fair enough i
right the

third question yes third question

let’s call this person another movie
with him

I guess the the with the getting further
away

here’s a funny story real quick I
remember in 6th grade

with take placement exams to get into
seventh grade private schools

and I A there was the essay question for
was

if you can go anywhere in the world
where would you go and why and I chose

the man known and then I left like

holy shit the moon’s night in the world

I flunked it and I think I did not be
great on it

I leon anywhere on earth where would you
go and I chose

literally one of the few places you can
go offer

now I just literally the only place you
can go

not the earth that the only place you
can go all right

you’re either on the earth so my options
were every single thing

on earth or one thing that’s not on
earth and I said the moon well there’s

plenty things that are under things now
you can go there

yeah we never traveled and yeah places I
just the one place not honor

yeah that you can go to: it’s in Earth’s
orbit

no wonder I never went to Harvard
fucking a Westlake

mom you are right Terre Haute she’s why

steered he did go to her I hmm

on accident getting in a funny you
mention int interviewing

twelve-year-olds to see if they can get
into your school

geez I didn’t you should kids have to go
through injection that early here

and yet here I am anyway let’s get
started the moon’s relay center

a okay long time listener second time
emailer

anyhoo before I start the problem let me
give you some background info

a dime moved into my neighborhood one
grade lower than me

we talked a few times I’ve never worked
up the courage to ask for her number

okay so here’s the problem I got is very
attractive girls number by asking her

friend

and started texting her it was going
pretty well we were talking about basic

stuff has your summer how school et
cetera

then she said haha to something I said

so I said yeah back she never responded

it’s been about three days i really
wanna text her back and maybe get her to

realize that I’m a pretty good guy but I
can’t help but feel

that chill think I’m weird for texting
her added the blue and stuff

what should I do texter outta the blue
and hope she doesn’t think it’s weird

or wait for her to text me J cano your
texting wizard and a pinch of course

but a mere your advice would also be
used a helpful

thanks the moon I’m she said he

he said ha she manager she said haha
that he said yeah and there’s nothing

I mean you’re done did that’s it worries
that a you can come back from

yeah yeah she’s like haha yeah

I mean that’s conversation killer yeah
glaciated killer but for

we are game and there are sometimes a
little hard for me to text that my claws

lately but a

but I can tell you I could use my to
painting cloths tackle better than

matter

hot Yap it is

and it is avoided I’m bummed a

this guy can rebound from yeah it’s not
even a hurry at three she said Hi

he said yeah right he’s overthinking it
its

like also your way to a texting her text
here at the Blue

which you did in the first place Jr
detector

without even speaking to you or you just
got her number passively from somebody

and started texting area then she made a
joke which she laughed at

but and then you stopped and now you’re
worried about texting you thru it sounds

like you

opened up a texting relationship with
their you made a joke he went over fun

I’m

but is a good little bit of advice maybe
like

like a Canadian always and on the joke
so you make a joke she says haha

don’t respond then two days later you
feel a little better being able to

respond because you didn’t

end the conversation we had trying not
to end it with like

also like didn’t ask a question anything
like that she couldn’t have responded to

ya

yeah so basically the conversation was
pretty much over enable you to boring

period at the end

exactly didn’t need to say anything it’s
always good to not be the last one

attacks

that a little bit of advice yeah that’s
your theory attache subscribe to that

same exact subscribe to that theory

and a dog is and it’s like oh I’m not
are I’m not constantly being the one

that like

tax later this year both she said
something and I didn’t respond I have

the world’s smallest upper hand the I
world I’m it I would have this is like

just indicative a bar like

I liked it said get the last text
preggers that way

its at like I’ve passed the ball I’m
waiting on her text right but i wanna

that

we s though you you are like I think it
in secure

the you’ll be like alright she said
something I’m not to respond because

I know I’m gonna want to text her later
yeah and she might not text me right

so I’m saying I’m all respond last right
noting attacks

humbler she doesn’t then you have to
pretend twice in a row

then out there are no way it’s never
happened bro

thank you but if you if you ended

where their their text as last

I feel like that gives you a small
emotional and mental edge like

old why did he respond to me why did the
composition and on my left leg while

its infinitely small but it is their
right it is up

it is stills a solid it’s there

I’ll admit that but also do you want
better not tell you that I don’t like a

need its ability a girl says hi dear
jerk

I would say yeah I yeah DNA

a plug brother I ever get by Big Joe can
a girl jazz that haha

I don’t think I mean I think he has a
pretty diverse

but apartment I let me be clear that has
bad because you’re just saying yeah it

is like I wanted

said something when I imagine a girl
after jerking real IP oh yeah

all a every text they said is better
than Matt

I did a lot in real life when I get a
laugh in a room I will leave

oh yeah a island I know through I’m with
and that can be the same thing in the

digital I like it

I also wouldn’t say something have
people laugh and walk out silent I like

to

and unlike a one liner that wraps
everything up nearly

I like a nice conclude alright yet well
good luck with this

he had any insemination at early allied

like a llegar comfortable joke about
something that they mentioned to me

but they wouldn’t know that I would
necessarily remember yeah but since I

picked up on that I’m one perceptive
into

thoughtful enough to actually remember
little my new show about their lives

right

I so this guy feel free to go for that
second tax of course

two days later yet you get that the side
next year find Rana I’ll

yeah if you get if you can come up with
something

something does that have to do reference
the old conversation I can just be at

the Blue

shit sex there you know you really
didn’t like that joke da

share was eligible a share with her to
see our

those you be able she read I

I yet go for its been two days you’ve
played it cool

but my suggest this to not and the lot
next conversation

Jake doesn’t subscribe to that theory no

that’s fine my buddy button

sorry listen anything I have to say I
she latest

what she’s did not just a lotta smoshing
act

no it doesn’t seem flaws wasn’t really
the ones it’s one she admits the tech

shit

with it it really is the tech shit this
have skied to might be reshaped

yeah it is inscribed yeah theodore
Leslie

and as this guy to that magazine

it should be a magazine called theory
other subscribe to that theory a

a black an actual phrase or is that just
Ibiza

as it’s got to that ideology ideology
ideology

now whatever a its break time

break and you had a funny story to tell
from your break but before we get to

that

I wanted to talk to you guys about one
more company

that was thoughtful and nice enough to
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and that company is drum roll please

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what is Harry’s I’ll tell you I was
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carries was barred by a personal
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his response in this episode

I am now we just got back from montreal

Montreal captor week after re all

you did it was a fun time montrealers
montréal

me it be you had a tough time getting
there

from what I understand I would like to
take this opportunity

Tuesday I harry’s is the wonderful
company

and now lets let’s do the opposite that
an ad

its it there’s gonna be there’s gonna be
me do with them slander

is a Monday many afternoon night blast

this is the yeah is undergoing budget on
blast lab now

this level are here to email us to your
when the

you’re OK name names are their names
budget this the budget blasier

add was at Kevin Smith the put southwest
and

a blast yeah you don’t you don’t mess
with people who have like a social media

fall yeah I’m trying to put

objected the ok do you let them know
that you are a podcast I really didn’t

know should have

I shoulda I assure you sir I’ve
apologized to show to my Twitter

followers are yours

I didn’t like this is my friend ET

any gonna be outraged is going it two
weeks so what happened when you went to

budget which is

what you eat but people call stuff
that’s bad you say that budget yeah

so it was bad I went to budget you chose
it because it was the cheapest option

yes I rented a car a nice intermediate
sedan

are beautiful Dodge Avenger or similar
not I will start looking forward to you

driving up to Montreal or similar or
similar and Isaiah as I was

a leaving I realize that I was going to
be early for my res

reservation as early as you’re leaving
your permit to get a budget yes

like so my reservation is for 3 p.m. and
I

and I say oh I’d like to pick the car up
at 1:30 actually any

so I gave them a call I said as a
possible

and they were we’re speaking on the
phone the national budget hotline yeah

they said yeah %uh your new quote
would-be X

it was ten dollars more expensive than
my original one X as 10

yet yes those like expose 10 and I said

I a great can I just did is just on the
a takeover the store

they’re like yeah go for so I went to
the store in I met a

employees I won’t name names but his
name is I

no I went to speak with the I told I
told them

that I was there early for my pickup and
he said

we don’t have we don’t have your car but
we can upgrade you

to this other models usually forty
dollars but I can do for twenty

and I said twenty dollars a day he said
yeah

and I was taking his car for 10 days so
I said

that said that’s a lot of money any said
oh yeah and I was like

okay well it was only ten dollars to
make my reservation earlier

want honesty that and he was like you
can’t do that as long as on the phone

with them

and they said I could so I when I called
the number back

change the reservation this time it was
a little frustrating because it was

thirty dollars more extent expensive

when you called so when you call back
you call like the national budget right

haha I know

a specific branch right not this branch
because actually when I originally

called that branch

nobody picked up from so so they said as
thirty dollars and as like

fuck is really getting away from me now
other Karzai’s that okay at

I’ll do it and I went back it all night
menu

time is a 130 by that point was 145
admits 145 some here at 1:45 the car

and he said alright will takes 45
minutes to get the car

I so at that point gonna be 230 his name
is Ben

48 these babies than 30 extra dollars
for day

per no just the total the one time to
get picked but like to get the car right

then and there

right is likely at six forty-five
minutes for the car get your butt

that upgrade is here right now as they
try to get me to take that upgrade the

upsell how does the upgrade

twenty dollars a day about two hundred
dollars total yet

so I’m like no not gonna do that so i
sat down

is gonna wait to get this car and then
people start walkin and they’re like is

like ok

I am yet your car’s not available but we
can upgrade has awarded a upgrade from

I is like is that cannot do that mean an
intermediate available now cut down to

do that now you can only upgrade

so these people upgraded from like
whatever to a full-size car

and somebody else came in he’s like oh
you’re actually an hour late the

reservation will have your cards

so we have to upgrade you too many SUV
as like

this is a scam listen i think thats
outing to everybody in budget

the this is be yelling idk be in him
talking to each other

and then there’s just like five other
people in there feeling very

uncomfortable

unfortunately though 4 I cuz I was just
like an asshole

yelling and saying it was a scam so
everybody is like

oh yeah I know I’ll take the SUV its
fifty dollars extra days they get that’s

fine

they SO much. this great thank you so
much we don’t you see what the deal

as they weren’t was everybody else
driving what are the cars available

right now that we don’t have your car

and so that I’m still sitting still
sitting I go out there

223 %uh ISA like I can really get
started with the paperwork

whatever is a good I had no cars now
here is that it’s not here but in seven

minutes will be here to exactly 45
minutes after you told me that dad Billy

think

but I think that had been it’ll be here
media mergers like straight up smiling

at each other then

declared as Lake legs and certainly are
you a poker yet we were totally

unwilling to budge

both vers relax or did get a kick outta
like just tormenting each other

so you’re you’re you’re you’re convinced
have yourself for that car was already

there

yet there that it was never even coming
because finally a 230

I went up any is like I let’s get
started the paperwork and good news

we’re gonna we’re gonna give you an
upgrade as I can about pay for it like

no

I’ll we’re giving you a full size
standard car

and I just came out nice the I said to
the

to the a guy that worked in the crash
site where did this car cup brown

cooler is were or where do you keep

the futon cars or auto or cure it is gay
video for a glass of water in Midway

during this

waiting game with they went out to the
garage guy too and I was like what

courage

the basement is like he you know that
there’s like I don’t trust that guy

is already think there’s any do they
disrupt they will tell you

I think the scan is that they like they
hold all the cards so like if you show

up

early for your car yeah they don’t have
your car if you showed late for your car

they don’t have your car if you show up
right on time for your car they also

don’t have your car but then they’ll
give you

your car for for free so other than ever
I was there

because they know people are desperate
they want their cars I think the Austin

all other time the people’s companies
are paying for them so like

I even though College Humor was paying
for this car I was

like at a principal ideally one right to
get II

so he show up early they’re like oh will
charge a little more if you want it now

viciously earlier cars now here but if
you want a car right now you take this

upgrade its

fifty dollars a day read more you can
wait for 45 minutes you like our way

alway oh I’ll wait a whole day 00 judo
way it was well as they do you guys have

a bathroom is like now

the I is we could have is a design-build
it feels like it is like george’s

flexo stubbornly like I’m not going
anywhere

yes you like camps there overnight a
really well I was it was a waiting game

just staring right at him

as I was like a lot but that has the
other for the National

because a budget big deal a good guys
the guys that

I was googling place other places too
that I ask him for his name old boy girl

was great

I feel like I’ve also been messed up by
choosing the cheapest option and I like

it really does help that just like go
for the

the medium option because they’re not as
mean totally because you know they do

you the cheapest

Oct option it’s like that they’re cheap
estimate but when you get there they had

a little you are like

literally everything and then there’s
also a lot like

hidden fees so like if you’re even 45
minutes

re you’re an hour late to returning the
car they charge you full

extrait de so I keep your day rate is 50
bucks then like you’re an hour late

it’s another 50 so you might as well
keep it for another 23 at

its is all that like so they’d find ways
did they devise ways to make you pay as

much as like

the right expensive places like they’re
just there this craft here to make it

seem like it’s the cheapest option

airline car rental places I believe our
evil

all along in a win in say with the
airlines are with Lake

where you don’t understand why the inner
workings have that you note it is it’s

it’s that they were talking about
earlier the

monopoly where just like there’s only
four of them well I guess it’s whatever

an oligopoly or whatever it is yes there
for the leading weekend we can set up

the rules over we want to get other to
you

yeah they’re all like they’re all the
same people like Nationals also budget

is also is also that national budget
hurts resolve this thing all using the

same cars are a it

and is just back in God

I I think there is a Seinfeld about you
like us to pick up the car the car now

we don’t have any that but I made a
reservation is a key I mean that’s just

a reservation music

well than anyone could just make a
reservation you think they’re the hard

part is still hold the reservation

lead so rental cars were still that in

the early nineties they’ve always been
bad what anyone needs to happen is like

a

JetBlue slash Virgin America like a new

person being like alright the system is
broken write some really good

something right don’t have to like go in
hand the my license make credit card

give them like so much

I this thing the myrick my contract

printed out and like a nineteen eighties
pritchard like toi aussi

and it not by using her for June tore
the perforated edges a

offer that thing for me like it this
whole thing should be it should be an

app

I should be able to get a guy I should
be able to get a QR Seco that

starts the car the that’s cool all that
said the choirs

that one is I the long long will they
had that car Montreal then I woulda

then I woulda gotten a that ickes to way
past

the are but I’m I’m so sorry that’s okay
it was good

it was knife and you know what this is a
short week

so guys don’t worry we’ll be back on
Thursday okay

thanks to our sponsors like a like
carey’s

and likes like books so 0

once again at that email address if you
have your own questions as a fiery show

at gmail dot com

if you have your own theme songs we
still want

slash need them the opening line which
is also the closing one

was written by Ben flowers let’s go back
to that sweet sweet Green Day

parity CS Thursday by

him the

the

C

anti-matter come home hey everybody its
Nicole Polizzi

but you may know me especially from and
TVs Jersey Shore and

I truly feel like that he doesn’t exist
anymore so

I want you guys to get to know Nepal
download mania pack cast naturally in a

call at podcast one that can

a lot has changed my life the becoming a
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being

bit to be apart a minute fantastic
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