Episode 99: Violence (with Brian Murphy!)

Description:

Brian “Murph” Murphy joins us to discuss hurting people emotionally and physically. Mostly physically.

This episode is brought to you by NatureBox.com, MeUndies.com, andHuluPlus.com!

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merck’s finally on

we’re just going through all those guess
that people want think Brian Murphy on

the show

solid time let’s get started think
anything I am thanks Carrie

who close so you come to a fork in their
own yeah yeah

and your launder and which way you
should go

well it I were you

by for you resume

1

I know I’m yo new year

you must provide an same I’m

show at gmail dot com I review show at
gmail dot com

home lazy down in bed Bowl

I was gonna say I Murphy yeah you wrote

andar you started your own theme song
here a

versus and I was actually Michael
Michael Ball 10

Michael guano was Michael bueno period I

primarily on the show yeah what’s up guy
finally

shit dude the backing up for the big
under their air

I believe how can I and II

rates better you’re like right at the
crest at the mound it’s weird that you

think it’s better because and I

I a man whose who’s that behind us by
any for adult video not only gonna

they’re not getting put the song blahhh

that you came out swinging we have heard
this is an aggregate

yeah I wanted to be on this to confront
you gather that why it took so long that

wasn’t on my list and

as they are they they’re saving me for
the under spot know we wanted you to get

as close as we wanted you in the top 100

the first 100 ray so that it could I got
your last away with like everyone else

up

like 100 that’s a milestone 101

started a new era potentially rate yeah
I know you’re sorry we’re bury you in

the past

yeah a nice in an old car near the Wayne
Gretzky yeah

which last I checked was the greatest
hockey player I agree

a a good yeah I agree that no nothing
about action

it is fine I got Richter was Gatorade
who is never

I ok oregano is also the greatest right

a or recording is in a freezing ass of
himself not too bad right now yes cope

article or not out we’re we’re out from
under the vent now

about about that you’ve got a little
cold but you said that be used at the

microphones directly under a

the yeah I figured but there’s those
around the corner with a little pat and

let yes the little

thermometer thing only has two options
its its a Moon in Taurus no play

I said I don’t know if it’s quite
similar to the war

dark cold night you see it’s so hot it
may

United hot at night and it’s cold and
snowing during the day

its new york day 8 during the day I went
there and then the night is just a cool

Denver Paul

I %uh the the lobster I believe it could
be a little air love the way up to

ninety 90 and I think that the

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for it

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sideways button and then the little moon
supply hey government’s lies: it’s not

like that

yeah they’re like I hear it is we’ve
designed it up a rope down here I’ll

right arrow or moon flick I

think I A quit so taken early we’ll take
it

we will take it don’t worry I won’t
actually turn off or on the vent that

this early though is the goal

it’s a dummy box a so for failure

heard this podcast oh and a diner in a
okay so

you is that we get how it works right
people email us

I in need of advice and we sorta
dispense it as best we can

sometimes it just us and sometimes we
have are friends that our fans demand we

have on the show

ray I but then you lightweight like you
know

we’ve we have on sand yeah but long
enough and then by others like fuck we

don’t have a bond

on the new era rather we don’t want to
lie Albany yeah

you ought to have been the in the dark
ages yeah I on simpson season 1 not like

says that’s right write a

a cell but Thanks for finally coming on

how yarns pleasure desert it I actually
Ohio have been i met your guys subreddit

and I’d tried to post something

and I got downvoted like to hell

but there is a bad I was myself with a
fake FB buddies

I i was just like they’ve a review

I don’t remember what it was yet another
thing I was like this is

this is Maher this is what happened or
whatever like

at defending myself largest talking
about a video

and then really Emily the actual Emily

said this isn’t murder I and then we got
into an argument

in the comments and they downloaded both
the bus whale who are let certain

with your screen name I think it’s Brian
underscore Murphy and nobody believed

and no one believes I pages

down when did we let them and then
someone was like if this is the real

Murphy me to go through the mod does
like

one step too much effort the mods of
course you have to the mods

we should happen we should have been
verified yeah I don’t know how to do it

let’s get in touch with the bar

yeah I think someone should that’s my
name I think Brian

underscore Murphy a some other Brian
Murphy just got yes yeah it does makes

the name in

slanders my name a here if the mark the
mods are

the mods might be listening so um let me
make sure and pronounce the mother

always listen bills by lobbyists
overtake the Rydex

up you’re out there please verify Brian
underscore murphy et

yet take anywhere breakdown both man and
what is emily’s

I don’t know with but everyone was
arguing with me is the only like

my own the common history is trying to
defend myself that it was me

I II some

guy gets to get to some of these
questions we need now fake names to

preserve these peoples

anonymity Zingo the femur make up any in
random name atop your head

go with igneous rock girl with that

to type a bra I a.m.

good so just take me is maybe but I know
to Dave’s the rocks I got to name

I hope you don’t go far to close yeah

%uh to go I’m gonna freakin a rare on
this i really do you could have you

react to rate the OpenLayers

its Lake I don’t know where you know I’m
not gonna waste my rock thank you right

now

any disabled at I here we go

hey guys I was suspended from school
last year for beating the shit outta the

kid

before you jump to conclusion they did
it because he wouldn’t stop making jokes

about a good friend of mine and those
jobs or about suicide and said friend

had committed suicide about three months
before

she sits now I got back dark now I go
back to school this year and I found out

the kid was still making jokes and then
also started making fun of me

I’m writing this email not not to ask a
question but the request permission

do you guys give me permission to kick
the shit outta this kid again

thanks so much igneous rock he was
making fun of his

friend who is dead yeah not she’s Louise

it pitch black yeah I don’t City given
permission to kick the shit out upon

passing by place

will I don’t really think violence is
the answer here

yeah I think the key the kid is clearly

trying to provoke igneous he likes
getting the ASCII I think he’d

yeah a he wanted he s trying to make you
mad

rates yeah I don’t want to tell how all
this

get I don’t be like the F fourteen year
old kid go beat this year that is

another fourteen-year-old kid but like

start immediately I know I know I wanna
flake

it would be it if it’s you red if the

if I were you view this guy would you be
doing Hannah

I mean I was higher be quiet and i won
14 at Pride give the shaking

dad me you’re the only a few jokes yeah

you’re the one who is getting made fun
of and then when you did something about

you got this shit

you yeah this story is exactly the same
except I get suspended for getting my

ass kicked

giving blood everywhere the you for
being a pussy a

you got amended for being a puss how
you’re gonna ship it out to view

I yeah how why arm

well I never I wasn’t making fun of
people for

their dead friends that’s really fucked
up

but I was like I was a shit starter

sigh I had a lot of friends who were
like on the football team in their lot

stronger than me

so I would pick on them like as a joke
like to make them mad

and then they would destroy me

what actually ever you yeah but well
here’s the thing is that

at a certain point I got a reputation
that

like way to shut up unless you’d
basically just punched me in the face

how Oreo I was I was like 15 or 16 I did
actually get punched in the face that

many times it may be like two or three
times

that a lot I the get a mouth the

yeah always live it was always my fault
so I would

I would kinda make my friends

angry to the point that they would
basically attack me but then I would

keep doing it because it would be so

money to keep making fun of them while
they were beating me up so they’re

afraid of getting punched in the face

wall that’s the thing that’s when I
finally stopped is when I showed it to a

party one-time and I just loudly called
out

%ah my friend bill and he just

ran outside in Dec to me when I is they
don’t make me to punch you cuz I call

them out I just think of a palestinian

I like collagen don’t buy on the front
lawn like as a gf

you know the line any just keep he just
it was me

and another friend these are your
friends these are all my friends

filled with me I quintile not so
pleasant are doing a while

but we’re still we’re still friends
through your friends used to beat you up

had a shit starter but

hurled that these were actually waiting
for me to have some like revealed

revelation that I didn’t have any
friends discover aspect of the time

do you know there must register has got
a call you know that yeah

but I which is bully people into they
put yeah it’s a

why was it everyone loved were killed
except starter

these go to school here though

went for a high five but it was as hell
yeah

the video the the girl me the human
pinata there is whale on me

they will wail on me always so either
way it would would these people your

actual friends eating I have ever

yet they were my friends I would hang
out with them and then they would also

punch you in the face and they were

also what they would only punch me in
the face here

they had like except that one time where
he just came out swinging and

Dec me right now head com other than
that

it would be like they would kinda
wrestle me at first like they’d be like

they be like dude stop

admit I keep on trying and I wouldn’t
stop because the plant stand the weather

and that it would

escalate religion always the most hurt
you got ever

arm probably just that one time getting
hit really hard in the face that hurt a

lot like did you break a bone

now and then I’m yeah

I it was basically I had

a group of friends there were like cool
and I had

another cover friends that I hung out
with more often

and me and the other not cool friends
would mess with

the cool France this just sounds like I
just got my ass kicked by the cool kids

all the time

when I get really FBI signs that I
what’s on in a similar boat just like

the I was like in both groups right
you’re like

breaching the popular kids a little bit
but like you still had your nerd friends

and they were the core friends right
you’d like to have you around for like

so

I literally right so I was like cool kid
have my nerd friends

and like the bitch if the cool kids
write your name here who would be you up

the very good at the surgical kids happy
meal

would you be there your friends no I
beat up no one

I its legs as he described the story
you’re lifting up your hand I just see

bruises all over your

arms yeah bruised I am breeze

yeah started I started doing get
sylvie’s I don’t buy a day but yeah I’m

still fighting but its all

a mostly train with people are like like
purple and brown belts Lake

people have been doing it for awhile
nice tits I so get beat up the so you

look like you’re getting your level of
you your

you are this kids bully you like getting
your ass kicked

yeah I just don’t mind it it’s just

I just like brother like Spain a little
bit you like wrestling

I just like wrestling around yet I be
also like the WWE

yet and let you just like on out pains
like physicality

I and I’ll ok you guys know I love Jack
two dudes

I yeah more than they probably

early hey you guys have let in Kabul a I
don’t know I’m word is that unlike cut

dude smirk I think we’re

we would you like some otter mood Dhakal

with that a automotive way girls like
armored

but that there’s like you know runners
in like I A L I just flatly

like this like a skinny six pack Rai
nice

leavin you all like usable mark climber
last

yeah usable muscle I’ll tell you I use
my players

I came to strongman I

advert like falling pulling truck driven
by %uh the road

the like the big show that the body yeah
I know it’s gonna be like the cover

Muslim fitness be like looking at
Monster and I’m like prime

yeah it is an absolute spasm shhh would
see Rawat greasy hair

show you the water it’s been a it out I
food is always wet

is the absolutely perfect answerable
it’s just get that is our dries up and

he’s just still soaking wet

he’s always is where I it’s funny cuz in
our web series you what you play that

same guy

yeah if not that they’ve a except for
the fact that like we’re friends

and I’m not actually beilin the dead

it you’re just I just come from a very
real plan yet

sure which is love love being jacked
love hurting people

I so what would you tell this guy a
green light to beat the shit outta this

guy

I think it’s not doing any good I think
he’s

dealing with the real shitbag here and
he can get him in trouble

tahun cent had a long as the ultimate I
open it be dead this

this kid obviously needs attention if he
is like making

suicide jokes and all that stuff like

you don’t want to give him any kind of
attention positive or negative cuz

that’s what he’s looking for

you ignoring is probably really good way
to get out that’s exactly what he

then when he lets his guard down a the
day this was gonna happen when if you

ignore someone he’s going to keep on
kneeling immediately because he’ll know

that like that blood is finally gonna be
so

like it I’m sitting there like stoic not
saying anything these kids and even

knows how satisfying that is left
finally explode

Hill I’ll go for that I just read
outlast them and he can’t

tattle battle I think there’s a there’s
a a

pride in tattling yeah you can did they
get why it’s more the shame i dial out

Friday you should say that say or Mike

alright people making those jokes I will
tile on yeah

other ratings that’s I’ll get your job
yeah i’m italian

yeah to record you making fun at me and
I will title either you’re so fuckin

tough big boy I’m gonna tell the
principal on you know I’m gonna record

and I Minnesota everybody’s over these
how

a heartless and mean you are you and I’m
gonna tell the principal not guilty to

your kids be kids will like it was all
only tell adults all yell at you and

make you go to therapy or some shit

I think you could maybe turn everyone
against this other kid

like this acts super mature about it and
if the kid makes fun on be like

Wow I think that is incredibly offensive
that you would joke about something like

that I’ll say I say that the child had
two inches are almost like telling other

people like if he says something you
dislike turned to others as you hey did

you hear that

like that has made fun a they did and
Mike

to start telling everybody what are you
doing cattle as I think these guys like

quietly trying to

pressure you into the getting upset but
if you start like spreading this whole

entire

like make it bigger than just him yeah
user want to ruin his life

yet they can be ridiculed yeah I mean at
this air

I igneous was suspended for beating this
kid up the kid probably just wanted to

get expel

she’s probably just trying to piss mops
so we can get beat up again now you

yet don’t buy them don’t item yes

title dad I there you have it

i right next question allow

attorneys have a rock the metamorphic
rock

a BRC is these are all violence related

heart goes out a coincidence now yeah he
chose them

hey guys long time listener first time
writer I’m wanna be your day ones and it

seems I’m in need of some advice so
here’s the problem

I’ve been dating this girl for a month
or two now and things are pretty good

we were friends for a long time before
we started dating and so I thought

things would be great when we finally
got together

the problem is she can be incredibly
violent and aggressive

she’s super into play fighting but she
always gets too rough

often slapping punching and hitting me
in the face but as a guy there’s nothing

I can do back to her

or is there what should I do I’m
practically being abused by my

girlfriend

thanks metamorphic okay I just want to
point out not only do I not get the home

does spot

I get like domestic abuse and Sue and I
Z within I’d

questions every other ones like I am
trying to give a

boyfriend a blow it out but I don’t know
how to do it

yeah it when I get this dude getting BT
shared by his girlfriend

and I got it find a way to make a funny
good a good so far so good those are so

good

about me and I’m I

can you get back had no you are you all
you do is restrained and then like that

a ends up hurting her I think what he
said they’ve been dating for a month

yeah breakup breakup so hard

I rather have it is not

this list love you Beth I W yeah exactly
where our baby

that’s all you can do it at all Z it’s
its only gonna get worse rate

because it wasn’t what month-long
problems

are you having that they’re resorting to
like violate these are just like you she

likes to the gallery to do you ever
wrestle with your lady

yet in NC not handle not in like role
says she’s getting it

she’s getting rough to the point that
he’s reaching out to us

and he’s thinking up hitting her back
this so we’re thinking

work the Hillywood to you crazy people
here do anything right Rai

I’m not asking you all the rabbis I’m
asking for your permission

I why do all these kids is what I mean
hochmuth until then though the weather

is lit at a music video and realize this

this should be there another bob has
restarted whether or not we gathered

allied

this actually coming out it is by Kaspar
to me was like are what if we get like

some kinda like sex questioner something
that’s like

that’s a lotta responsibilities like a
have an ally give teenagers like advice

on this it up I don’t want anyone to

ever do anything because I say son and
then people are just like

you tonight canopy to shoot at this
person that knows cuz it’s pretty black

and white

yeah I punched my girlfriend no hitter

permission denied separatism always do
no harm

yeah he I think you could lay some
ground rules

I think you’d be like yellow I’m down
the I’m down to fight like this is fun

%ah I don’t hit me in the face ray

no scratching if I was if I have like a
scratcher bruise that lasts a long time

we’re going to we’re gonna stop rail
think go limp

Jaitley pick up a roll I really think
she’s only resorting to the scratching

in the punching because you’d like

he is trying to be trying to fight back
and she wants to which is compel

so she does go limp is this does this
remind you have anything from your own

life has ever happened to you to any
extent

and I use to SAU

like wrestled with girlfriend everybody
I wrestles with insurers yet but fun and

playful and you don’t do that at least
one

I guess if it’s if it’s just like
playing around and she gets a little bit

rough but the end to that email reads
like

can I do something about it instantly
maybe picture jest

your worst I think domestic abuse
situation

and I completely forgot about the play
fighting it is like went out the window

right did this happen every year the
closest thing there is what I reminded

me I was like

a being with a girl who likes to like
tickle me a lot

and like I can do what he did Google I
hate being tickled but like

I guess I you giggle I laugh I can’t
breathe and like I can’t do anything at

like shots I want to stop who did that

I can also help with the name out at
both all mouth bit

I really yeah I mean is this playful
echoed you you tickle tickle tickle her

I stop and i cant break it free that
unlike the last row

yeah like I have to showed yeah your

more thing we did you ever sell her and
she was like you really shouldn’t push

me he said stability probably got real
ones were like wood grabber to stop was

like

a tense moment like I’m squeezing her
wrist

this is the weirdest events I the

you abuse them I would never harm
someone on purpose but i just it a

she made a bagel to the point where I
couldn’t breathe i thinkI

I think and if you wanna win it’s just
submission holds you can’t land

I think you can imbue computer in Lake
any pain but you can take a

counterattack you can only be why do you
think there were like when I used to

wrestle my little brother before he
could kick my ass yeah

Lake I wouldn’t I never wanted like
putting out and everyone to like

punch in and laying down Blake have them
hurt but I what I would wanna like

I would usually dislike wrap his arms up
in my whole pin him down into the with

and Isaac are you gonna stop

are you gonna stop are used up in and I
could then you could walk away

that the whole like a stop hitting
yourself thing right or left side as you

could petered out

I think dollar terminal no and I believe
that they i win

here admit I win call it through here’s
what I’m saying

I’m if it’s just the play fighting stop
play fighting cuz you guys don’t know

how to do it

yeah im it’s more than just the play
fighting which the end of the email

would lead me to believe breakup her

it is it does seem like the play but
he’s got to have had this been a low

tire adding up

failed just like how I don’t wanna just
everywhere everybody meeting dated for a

month 3 weeks left my being with his
playmaking

telling it may be that is his return to
cast a 0

howdy just a league II hey I I i don’t
wanna do this anymore

just the play fighting just the fighting
yeah maybe it’s a vicious to do with

another boyfriend she thinks it’s cute
images on issues like started to do with

you and she thinks you like it

it might be that you can always just
have one conversation it sounds like it

is to say hey why is this happening and
I don’t like it

it sounds like it’s just a bad situation
the best

any time anyone has a problem and
they’ve been dating for a month I’m just

like they have a car

like what if you want to go to break up
with their n she hurts them

and what she’s like she really likes
them he says hey I don’t go out there

anymore so why is that he had it like
now now just

I I was there is a feeling this and she
feels awful

and she would have changed she would
have done play biting differently

I’m then lay at the show is my brilliant
I i guess im reading into this year the

performance review just one performance
through aka

a warning a warning before you puncher

yeah yeah fair warning but don’t
actually puncher

don’t ever do that yeah I think we can
all agree that we shouldn’t hit anybody

here rare

ray no I don’t have permission to beat
anybody up

your next year if this next question is
that right

my dad’s been give me liberty I

the 90-pound weakling I my grandfather’s
alive support is making my dad bank you

can go dry while only just pass on a
driver mission up

I grab others heart at what age do you
think you could

have beaten up your dad if at all

um hour now

I think

when did it you still can beat up your
dad to death shape

yeah my dads bit my dad like my dad in
shape body I am Lake

he doesn’t do he clearly doesn’t do as
me I pull ups and pushups is ideal for a

and I’m tall its own yet what whatever
a.m.

glamour killer instinct she’s smarter
than I am

Turner he tells me that all time yeah

I think I thought I could beat him up
once they went I won’t say

for like four years ago presented other
select even it throughout college you

could have as pretty unhealthy

I think he would be tailored I am I like
to talk about is on the podcast

ever beat him in an arm wrestle like two
years ago for the first time

that’s exciting those big what are you
um

jury still out with your dad like my dad

I just imagine like to retire Qatar 00
is a retired cop

really yeah he’s like a pretty is a
pretty big dude

II value like norm from Cheers like
George knowledge I had no not norm from

you know what he’s like he’s like the
dad from The Wonder Years allows the

best way if they have any through the
API

yes pretty big as it like thick fingers
yeah its big hairy

yeah at bay area a great big sausage
fingers

it well as the official air I’m no not
really

cool but he’s a yeah I don’t know I’m in
better shape than I am I’m definitely

stronger than him now

by its he is an intense dude

and I’d be delayed will lose the writer
and its exactly

exactly but how much do you weigh when
you’re at your peak like a year ago

why like to think I’m at my peak now I

earlier with my weight when I was your
most would always be at as hell

yeah I I about his team’s so yeah I know
I meant

would you say you went from like way
wedges we r your lowest before that

PQ at what 150 I was at like II we’d
like prior 155 pounds

then I’m ballooned up issue or a 190
pounds you gained 36

five pounds and how long and likely in
like two years

okay yeah same time but one last final
at 11 to 20 pounds about was in like six

months it was like

not help Yahoo is thick yeah respect and
then from 190 which is a year ago around

190 190 was October

her November but the almost all so I
guess it’s been close to a year yes

yeah when I N and then in the last year
where you down and

like 165 CS paper report what 55

to 192 165 yeah course have like 13 yr

your Christian Bale if people would like
a shitty body

I said just like had I had like

bigger arms any huge get and now I’m
like

I look I work at like six days a week by
diet is so shitty

that a look like a guy who just you know
like lives air conditioners for a living

I can look like kinda hearty but nah

you know they mean so work what made you
want to go from 190 back to 165

arm that I I look gross

hello crafts at like a big guy and he
was just diminishing returns

so it was you know when you first are
lifting and stuff you get stronger

just by lifting just by doing some
physical activity but there is a certain

point you need

eat more so I started eating like like a
thousand more calories a day than I

needed

and if I was eating like chicken and
salad

I would have gotten slightest I

I wouldn’t look too good but I wasn’t as
you like chicken parmigiana toby is yeah

exactly

and then so I got like a little bit
stronger

but mostly just back and then it led
video if people are curious

are you is you at your fat is near my
fat ass is

I am insulting the boss with a punk rock
video

you’ll see me he’s II its main street
are sitting across

but not that different a desk from Sam

and mike got looks really fucking big
and that was really bad was that an

eye-opener

that was an eye-opener that was that was
a see myself on camera there was not

full

I’m not mad I think I just thought
everything was going to work out like

everything was going to settle

yeah like like was all just gonna come
together and you still a diet now

ID arm I do to a certain extent I
probably eat like

one bad meal a day instead of like
eating six meals a day and to have them

are bad

IKEA like a normal person now you like
three meals a day

Rai yeah and then one of them is the not
quite healthy yeah

but Santa sometimes aid as somebody
pretty healthy that europe what I am at

yes like all other self-reliance and I
can have pizza for that exact on never

had like a salad and then another salad

birthday I have their reward myself
being at

a jack to do the is a lifestyle it’s not
a hobby

right here I can’t abide by the left out
but I want it so bad but you just don’t

want it and

assert so bad that you know but what I
wanted me to love it I will if someone

was like

if someone was like mer would you rather
be

like on SNL or be so jacket

I would I think I would choose so check
I

you idiot you could have said well that

but where you still dislike bad for you
food

yeah more love it yeah it’s like is it
worth it

is the pros are being jacked where the
cars have not eating

sandwiches ever yeah the answer is no to

I rather not chat I that’s why no
Wednesday

I am let’s take a quick break right now
to do a quick commercial

and welcome back into questions 3&4
how’s that sound derelict

tight just a quick quick note

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yeah and instead have and sailors notice
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toilet yeah just in the bathroom much in
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less acrimony is in a weird way or like
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reading and I’m just watching South Park
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yeah that’s yeah I do and my mom is
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let’s go back to the year the show where
things continue

to get real then we’re back

that was insane RI yeah people don’t
know but we take six weeks off in

between

that commercial break as I i weigh 230

I lafitte

a reliable cleared up there a lets the

try to answer some questions a

can I get another I believe guy’s name

ha the I wanted to give like another
type a volcanic rock but

all this guy’s names magma dirt

I magder

ride I’m coming to a bit of a
predicament yesterday I got back from a

week long vacation with my friend while
I will be this is a a friend

you while I was away my brother was
supposed to be at my hamster every day

when I got home I found that my hamster
had been starved to death

in a fit of rage i attacked my brother
had but the whole

why but he ended up with a serious
concussion what the fuck the issue here

is my parents don’t know about my
hamster and I was keeping him in my room

secretly because he

they told me I was not allowed to have
any pets now my parents think I attacked

my brother for Nokia Corp

for no reason and he was just going
along with it

there even saying they’re going to send
me that there appears some

shit what do i do do I tell my tell them
the truth my parents are extremely

strict at probably get into serious
trouble and lose my

x-box help what would you get into more
trouble for

having a hampster or beating this shit
and have your brother for no reason it

sounds like I don’t know

the hampster the hence there is no other
way is that it’s gonna lose his x-box

and later I don’t think I don’t think
having a hamster is a good enough reason

to be

like if you get early hey boy killed his
hamster

I beat the shit outta add a a what was
his

this cuz they will nag military ID this
shit out a voluntary lava dir

because he because he murdered my
hamster your that is just good like

US was to have a hipster right good
enough reason to beat this should I

might be like one of those things where
it’s a tragedy because the hamster died

so maybe we’ll get in trouble

I did you ever like Priya yeah well
maybe if you like weren’t suppose like

go out

or something then I but like you snuck
out there like you broke your arm

it’s like your parents aren’t gonna be
mad at you gonna just trying to help you

other real value 88 you got yourself the
trouble yeah and exactly

but its like you learn your own lasted I
P A have a hamster

ill dire girl k let parents really love

honesty so even if you’ve done something
wrong like all they’ll be

thinking about is like that you came
clean so they’ll be really happy see you

stand down day

work and I wasn’t supposed to but I had
a hampster and they’re like what

and and lava I

love the starving to death and that’s
why am I know I shouldn’t have done it

but I just wanted you to know I had a
reason real showdown at a Costco not

cool that’d be

he gave his brother concussion kidding
him that’s bad

right here really bad yeah you’re upset
because I your brother didn’t care for

life

you just didn’t care for his yeah yeah I
understand your humor is a human human

not a hamster the hamster

I could build a I desire to have today
and everything would be fine

no I could lol 0 hybrid but I’d

not gonna do it but like they’re pretty
inconsequential

as an animal either as animals are
concerned i think is still here estar

I’ve his brothers everyone in this is
you know that the brothers starved it

would be good to you

the day that a lot now healy said I’m
data like I don’t know if they have to

use that as a

just died did you get a chance there’s a
real enhances our fat little dudes he

was a skinny little hits pay-per-view
the hundred years they’ve been really

nice to get out

is it you and I really elderly yeah

user fatso wall will have zero have a
game back

is officially identity by Sarah I 360

a potential else do you know it love up
you know I hear he probably came back

and he’s like

how’s my hamster exact all shi’ite

0 they can you imagine a fucking deer in
headlights look

that it have presently a good race lebow

global unrealistically mostly I can
maybe

I the water go to roller

movies produce Plano yeah

okay good I heard

when I like I like that the kid stuck to
his story do is like

yeah I had beat the shit outta my
brother for no reason

it I was mad at him and a beat ’em

up a leedom until he was heard is really
was concussed

you know your parents should send you
that their pee and then you can I

tell your therapist the truth the
midfield with the usual you see id

absolutely tell your parents the truth
and not that

you should’ve been a your brother

what he did was not cool yet what you
did was not cool not less cool I would

say

bread they give you pair them context
yeah relief they deserve that and then

they can decide

if your actions against her brother were
justified well it certainly not just to

buy but they build

the punishment will be different maybe
now they want to waste their money said

you therapy

though you might need therapy yeah as
rigid as

this handy rage okay that got big about
how bad a polite this hamster must’ve

had great like well as he kept dude gets
like under beheaded for something in the

dark

like in a COLLADA they have a lot of
guys here today by the Great Lake

what is hempstead hamster wanted our DS
ever have and the way you feed a hamster

sleep lol pellets yeah he also run on a
little wheel that makes a lotta noise

sold

Ono disable the wheel he def yeah he
either had it was scratched into the

will avenge me

I’m very happy magma I this stress a

wait what how much joy you get out a
hamster that it’s worth the stress

but I hiding a living thing I’d like to
come back a live feed if it is the

tastes like hiding it could spell at
three in the cage you go try to grab it

and run later this year

you hold that no Pido and then and then
he

you just have to if he hits it out this
is you as a dad I go four year old with

over as a kid I loved pet I would try to
get as many

I my mom won’t let me my sister by two
mice and we went into peco I we were

like

we wanted male and female my mother to
list only get two male to female

we got we got male-female they had a
bunch a little people

life yeah tear least start Legion
everyone along

I we fed them do another pair yeah it
was only saved by the pet

then once that we had the money is there
is kept in the basement i buy me that

works out

know I’ve never used so other that the
as so we’re saying

to the the tell your parents the truth
at the very least you have a hamster

anymore so they can get that mad at you

yeah I don’t have it anymore and any as
to your your your be down slightly more

justified though

not entirely one a reason for why you
flew off the handle

yet like I think it’s its less crazy for
you to have broken that

no hamster all there there’s further I’d
beat the shit outta my brother

very straight up no reason also change
your parents know about the hampster

kids

are not as smart as they think harrods
no more have a is locking up a little

like a hamster

yeah 3 3 a that was showered for 45
minutes bob

Yap I washed all my stuff have been
masturbating their

though good day waters goal because they
take a long shower cuz those very dirty

not the Connecticut also the semen in
the drain was not because I was

masturbating

I fell asleep and a as young boys

walked but I had a wet dream had a wet
dream

in the shower and a jacket leaving in my
sleep it wine decanter guard Ryan just

go to your room you know we’re heading
lower how do you know about him

effect don’t have a hamster it i jus I
just purchased the small scar

as a sort a little Chatzky for myself

good day I i right

break time would you ask marker in the
brain eyes on it is toria

him in his fiance now we can skip that
was running at a time let’s do question

excusing I I just call that they met on
we wrote Brian and Emily into a video

yeah be retro becoming engaged in a
video you can yeah

are you to show that a wedding no

heavily when dole I yeah

I’m gonna do 10 minutes a standout at I

diplomat dignity have pressured like not
to be funny at the wedding

is a late know if anything like when we
first announced that we’re

engaged a lot of people thought they
were kidding and it actually may be

kinda bad

a mic I’m a humane cave wall %uh love

being serious last update: it is not OK

I’m be our first kiss ever is on camera
but sure

that’s very rare you to let your kids
yeah

and relative right away where rather be
detected

higher in a sense of proportion if we
got to feed ’em I

I yeah I’ll so yeah I kids Jake to

oh yes shit we had our first give me all
your daily adding to our No

was after now it was before being UK and
the next night was the

yeah your Kissin do you think you still
would have married Emily if we didn’t

write that

um just the back here consider it means
and nah

we certainly spent a lot of time
together because I’ve you guys right

here I’ll give you that

that’s cool yeah and that was just a
thorough a job the first

instanceof it was we had like a picture
amor fight was like secret santa to

oh yeah it was it was do it with the
idea was that some

that you gave heavily a picture of your
face yeah

and it was a really ugly picture your
face but I need the show’s Emily at the

Blue

yet but in the route but also we just

road in the script is it’s like a really
ugly picture and Emily

improvised being attracted to her to
picture Murph and he looks real yet I

was here it’s a picture merv and then
their job was just to cut you had to

save

traveling with like its official amor
Neox really good a

theory at that the days it certainly I
will say it made everything easier

because with like the the

the relationship I I

on Jake and Amir it was like I kid read
into those things

like even though not if it was real I
like to be arsed well

she gives me a little bit longer than I
think she would have I

somebody usually do legs lol you cry
gave me some false confidence honestly

there was less true I guess I was too
confident was a justified

now pro Emily I

open the door she sleep you a

so okay so mean JK responsible for that
what else what else do we do good

I a

and well if they ever have kids one day
at all that as you not only our dear dr.

gott: that either the Godfather

die without a guy so at the very least
the godmother

yeah it’s fair a.m. Jan if a if I should
like

on the first one’s name him Jake and
Amir if I just hope to have two boys

know or just any two children go other
yeah you don’t name one kid Jake and

Amir

about that a little weird Jacob Amir
mercy herwitz

Amir Jacome mercy your family will they
will both be taking Jas

ethnic subject often and appeared
alternately way and I’ll turn

I love the gathered for now I so now I
know how to get there

others so funny when’s the wedding I

next month where’s the wedding I I don’t
want to reveal their

kahan aa everybody either ish

I well we wish you i Mary Travers

the best indeed the actor and thomas de

honeymooners honeymoon I Europe

going all over that shit your leisure at
Berlin

Amsterdam we’re going to Berlin yeah
yeah

such a good time to talk about we have a
show in London coming up perfect yeah if

you’re in London Sept 8th Monday

coming out live podcast sold out maybe
live show before that

not sold out still tickets available is
it not like a good one

I was not sold out i think is it an
earlier today at 7

I wasn’t think that was a good one yeah
and I know if you’re in Berlin will just

be hanging out yet

from September 10th to the 17th is that
when you’re gonna be will you’re just

gonna miss me

when you gonna be there like the 23rd
shit I should leave you something like a

like a cracker and no TDs on meez yeah
I’d love to know

let’s do it is between cracker in oh
yeah me a cracker on that

at its hit the rocks at the Berlin up

you just did you just walk over near the
end by Danny cracker that’ll just be

prepared for this walk in the Holocaust
Museum okay and then just keep turning

right into the finding the first about
them

I if there’s a paper towel dispenser all
leave your cracker

are you think you have to go to the
Holocaust Museum just so you can lead

Murphy and no

or a cracker arc rather just try to take
that experience in it how well after I

leave the nerve wrecking

%uh the near the crash site had 0 here’s
what I have to think about the cracker

the whole time is about art museum how
he was earlier the better I hear

something you’re talking about you she
you

give yourself a haircut always use
buzzer head yes but my head but for your

wedding you can’t do that

I can do it I I’d like to look

not like an idiot though but what’s that
you’re going to just pay a guy to do it

for you but he’s going to do the same
thing I guess so there’s like

products like cellular raises I know
that every time I do go

to get an actual haircut they’re like my
god

what have you done your I because
they’ll be just like a little hairs that

are like way longer than the other 1
I’ll has not even right now a little bit

like a mullet thing going on in the back

I think you can tell it the subtleties a
bit now with you by when UK area shave

one one size of shape a top with a5

side 3 I

the estimate is daniel et toi strains
and out the back

with as the route I guess the straight
edge air

that seems fine i think im getting
married on that

you can sell a woman in your wedding so
soon anyway residents like in a couple

weeks or a month he said yes so

I guess I think they have you brought
her her mother they get a haircut like

David wall get it no I’ll get a haircut
like a week before so I don’t have that

like cuz I look like a 12-year-old boy

stomach hurt her and make every girl I
never get a good haircut yet

in general should go somewhere nice to
get the hair exactly thats all there

good splurge

a bit as the glance okay to go I’m not
gonna tell you to a barber

a nighttime yes that does number 99 Wow

I I’d like to let’s do you think do I
get a hundo spot

oh you mean under Dahlia hundred dollars
apparently ninety nine dollars you see

who’s on the faggot hunters

I you know another deer is saving it
Emily

if they really I their reserve I

a to get to one last question yeah ass
time at

i think is this because this was about
violence yeah

that one that they won tix editor and I
was like

hamsters thank God oh no they have a is
dead

owner eight feet this as a concussion
about iraq

year ago question number four the
relationship to get more intense friend

girlfriend brother

yeah I that’s what a

okay a China up this is a lady many lady
rock name

okay a a slate but

dot com I

I am 24 years old and I am in a
relationship with a great guy

we have been together for seven months
and I don’t see our relationship ending

anytime soon however

I was on his laptop the other day and I
started typing something into Google and

as soon as I typed

EX E the first thing that popped up was

exercises to lift breasts I looked at
the search results for

and the first five links had been
clicked not only that

but the last few times we had gone to
the gym together he recommends that I

work out my upper body

what the heck is going on I’m five foot
two and I weigh 110 pounds

my breasts are very large for my frame
unnaturally large breasts tend to not be

as perky as small ones

there are they are by no means saggy but
I’m not really on a

I actually take a lot of pride in my
breasts and no one has had a problem

with them in the past

I also started thinking about his last
two girlfriends and realize now that

they both had small breasts

now I feel self-conscious when I wear a
bra when

now I feel self-conscious and wear a bra
when we have sex

is even attracted to me which should I
do I don’t wanna make things awkward

but I know I have been acting
differently towards them

help me Jake and Amir and Murph love

slate slate so the search was exercises
to lift breasts

and they’ve been in a relationship for
seven months a hit on the break up so

a I think they should break up I pray it
would be to lift breasts like

tonight to make make them I’m and get
she has actually has she saying she is

large breasts so I think naturally
they’re going to be a little

sagir then Mike little boobs right
because there’s more gravity

writer wait to them that’s just the way
it up being sexist this is science

yeah the tragic shooting very lightly
are going to be lowered down

with this guy’s the texas won CA’s he is
in trying to Lake

and secretly give her exercises that you
think

he thinks will like more than art thing
that he has say I shall

weird you know thing for him to do you
know that exercise that sucks fat from

boobs

back into your body that israel I will
I’m a little miffed by it to you

yeah I think it it I am

as always reading into this shore and I
think this

he’s probably very like picky in
particular and controlling

like smaller brew can you no I think
this

this has to lead and other things I
don’t think there’s any guy who’s just

like

like my girlfriends breasts

need to use it a little higher I’m gonna
look up all kinds of exercises for her

and when we go to the gym

I’m going to have her do said exercises
until her breasts left

like right that’s not the one thing we
think we know each other

there’s going to be a millionaire’s
other stuff so

like what I don’t know I get I guess he
is like my girlfriend rides the Passat

but I really think she should be in a

Cadillac meaning I don’t know just like
I

just micromanaging every little part
yeah army yet maybe start a micromanager

body you know well she’s getting in
issue because ovett a body issue

I’d like to see with the first five
links and what was said

well you wanna lift your breasts alright
that’s complete is it possible that he

um has breast and he’s trying to figure
out how to make his press go on

I’m guessing she could tell from the
Lynx Lake

what it was leading to rate like I don’t
think

I don’t think she’s cooking on those
five links: and it’s just like a dude

with huge packs Kiddush

here’s an exercise question for you are
there exercises that target specific

kinda fat

or you just exercise and then your body
genetically chooses which back to get

rid of I’m not I i don’t know

I i don’t think it’s super effective to
try to burn fat

of a particular areas you can I gain
definitely gain muscle in particular

areas from working them

right but can I lose fat in my stomach
verses my face

I don’t know I are you doing a sit ups
with the metabolic

yeah ever do in facial crutches for the
past year and a half

but I well also let’s address own oh
okay

she was a really snooping on his
computer she just typed in something and

added he xeno

at a head over heels on your lips
breasts now weird shit popped up its

I’ll it’s not so crazy that she could

mention that to her yeah I think she
needs to I think she needs to bring up

with them

ray especially with you these issues
like

he might libby is bring it up is going
dead be the cure

cuz either he’s going to I just ease all
your fears and say

oh no I was doing this a totally
innocent thing or like

oh I just had this light one concern
about this then it and he’s a good guy

or he’s like yeah I want your breasts to
be here

hi and then you could be like okay

they’re not and we’re in your not my
boyfriend anywhere a

I think the take it or leave yet either
disappeared at

bringing something like that up with
them will be a true test

like kinda what he’s made oath it’s just
like

paying nit picky about this 1 weird
thing and Hill

like apologize or back of her y’all I

INS the it’s a it’s kinda weird thing
for him to be searching that honestly

rate is a crazy to say that she should
get a secret breast reduction

I and say that the exercises for killer
said okay I’m gonna beat you up

why little early I’m editor mission to
be given me regret it

for everything that I think punt up

you be you’ll it’s like the quarterly
review do you

you that we should tell her you can you
you be you

that way you I’m a yo to use the it’s
all have been compasses

what we’re say you know just so you know
does the given the corollary but sort of

a subsection under the umbrella love you
do you

imagine how she would feel if you’re put
in that position

like you knew something about yourself
later like me I have like really big

stupid T

if I light went on my laptop it like
only which is 30 like

there’s an ideal surgery eg lakeside way
to make

okay let me have to make deep smaller
and less

pointy that would be the worst book
that’s because you’re

be aware I return secure about it that’s
almost like the biggest fear ever

you like I’m insecure about my teeth and
then she’s looking up with the pics UT

yeah girly proud of her breasts as she
should be that and they sound great

I’m into it yeah so it sorta like a
surprise she’s like week

what he’d I would think that maybe even
worse through yet yeah it’s almost like

great tell me that you don’t even want
to change your

right all exercises to fix and then it’s
something that you like about yourself

like for me it would be my hair

exercises yeah yeah I would freak out

it like what the fuck you talking about
its Perpignan your monitor

it’s better than you but if it was like
exercises to make your face look less

like a chipmunk

like okay I get that II alike

miners tell you why death camp hey know
why you not that you know you as hear

about a bird that your face yeah it’s oh
by the way we really had on that

this ahead bizarre beaches older
daughter this bit

up how would you say you lose face
bashed

this is meeting in a corn dog yeah

I am unit the end the end of thing
however said 100 we did it as

don’t know we did guys ever zona injury
might

up but this one up a little weird yeah
leading on to it do for 102 X up what

about yours or have no idea like

because 99% Leia 100 right what up with
his dick down like episode 58 me put

this one out there are we

we are really bad area yeah

you know it we realize that episode 72
is missing

soon as I got in Ellijay yeah just
postin old one

as the new one and you play at the very
time I get out at once so you have to go

search the archives to find

so one super fan on reddit like I was
realistic the episode 53 International

Center

blows aren’t a he was talking about

al that he was in November but it was in
November which is weird

a anything you wanna plug maybe your
wedding now located

keep in mind that people listen to the
show so what you say rather will be

heard

I just I want to promote my predator
account

a bright underscore Murphy that is
really made a

on its good at Israel I hope it’s really
me I haven’t been on in like months and

if it’s not every is your dad there

a JQ on like anything

at the one just that that author live at
Irvine

oh yeah are by I want to promote I via
thanks for asking if the air

a joint image in Irvine yeah it’s
divided Jake and Amir

I either Jake and Amir Amir Blumenfeld
I’m still not sure all right to look him

up

thanks for coming on the show yeah
Thanks for me. look at will have you

back on up to third on a 198 or
something by

something sort of close during filming
on I

thanks so much for listen everybody will
be back later oshit the closing theme

song and all that other stuff if you
have your own question

I or themes on submission you can send
it to you if I really show

at gmail dot com ross is still accepting
thumbnail submissions

when we post our episodes on Facebook
we’ve been using custom

a thumbnails that you guys have been
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opening theme songs from Michael and is
closing theme song

is from hoon com

cigars

yeah I’m can yeah

diet again then me

me

your view

not to read to me

don’t you

leave day

I’m me they hear me

doing

yet

feeling I’m

do

gives good

E

do

doing man

me do

the

3G

don’t need a head change maybe you

me

the

he

the

do

show game

me

that

do

to the

I’m

to hey everybody its Nicole Polizzi

but you may know me as the key from
MTV’s Jersey Shore and

I truly feel like that he doesn’t exist
anymore SL

I want you guys to get to know Nepal
download menya tak cast naturally in a

call at podcast one that can

a lot has changed my life with becoming
a mother getting married losing weight

being

set to be apart a minute fantastic that
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